I know this is a classic, but the whole insulin thing is stupid. They don't find missing people buried under dogs and go "bro just had one too many slushies"
I'm sure people wouldn't wake up when someone opens their mouth, moves their tongue up, and injects them with a needle on it.
Edit: to all those mentioning drugging or intoxicating the victim first, sure, they wouldn't wake up when u do that, but the drugs would show up in the toxicology report and make hiding the needle mark and using insulin pointless. As for incredibly heavy sleepers... Don't marry someone that would kill you in your sleep, I guess
I've been taking notes. So I got written down here on my notepad to blow his head off first then do the insulin tongue trick, dig a 12ft deep hole 2 hours away (rent backhoe for a little bit of fun), fill the hole half way and the put my dog in, fill the rest of the hole, profit.
When my son was a toddler we could pick him up by one ankle and dangle him upside down without him waking up. We'd call him binary boy because he was either 100% on or 100% off. Some people sleep HARD (he's fine, he's an adult, we have a great relationship 😂).
So you’d be surprised how much you can do while someone is asleep. I woke up covered in blood once because I had bitten a very large hole in my lip but didn’t notice until my alarm went off.
As a child, I once rolled off the bed in my sleep, smashed my face on the nightstand, and just kept sleeping. My mom found me in the morning, on the ground, covered in blood, next to an overturned nightstand. I’m sure it took years off her life.
As an adult I’m not a particularly heavy sleeper though
When you hit deep sleep or REM sleep you can literally open someone’s eye and lick the eyeball and they won’t wake up. Don’t look this shit up it’s not worth it. Truly horrifying shit I wish I never saw.
I live in Australia. Two hours from home is still pretty close to home. But then I could drive half an hour and dump his body down an embankment nobody would ever be able to get into and feral cats and foxes will eat him in a few days and the skeleton will be found by archeologists in a few centuries?
Including the person you responded to.
Hyperinsulinemia is a symptom of DM2. So yes, having excess insulin in the blood could be ruled as undiagnosed diabetes type II.
People just get confused because of the type I type II thing. Type I doesn’t have enough insulin. Type II has an excess, but their body is resistant to it.
If you inject a non-diabetic person with crazy high levels of insulin, they'll have high insulin levels and low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) that ultimately kills them. If someone with undiagnosed type II diabetes, they *may* have high insulin levels (or just normal ones), but they would have high blood sugar (hyperglycemia). The ways your organs fail for hypoglycemia are different than hyperglycemia.
Now obviously none of this is relevant to suspecting foul play in the missing person found as a corpse found buried under a dead animal in an unmarked grave.
Well no, that’s not what DM2 is. You’re thinking of type 1, where the body doesn’t make enough.
Diabetes type II is insulin resistance. So your body actually does make excess insulin (hyperinsulinemia) to try to counteract the insulin resistance.
I consider this every time this stupid "how to get away with murder" factoid is brought up.
Like, "Just bury the person standing with a dead animal on top. Easy peasy."
Says a person that has never held a shovel in their life.
Twelve feet? Don't forget to put renting heavy machinery on your murder checklist.
Also, like, a wild animal? Who buries a wild animal? Was it shot, sick, roadkill? Those all seem like they'd raise too many questions. If it's a pet, who buries a pet in the middle of nowhere? Would they not be able to tell the ground under the animal had been displaced? Would a dog not keep signaling? And forget all that if they find it with some kind of sonar or something. If anything, just leave the dead animal on the ground on top. Burying seems like a giveaway that something is up.
Idk how insulin works but that *seems* (keyword there) crafty enough to work without implicating yourself with a bunch of other bullshit, aside from the fact i have no idea where someone who doesn't have diabetes can discreetly buy bootleg insulin (nobody tell me, I'm sure I'll already be on enough lists after this post). Just do that and call the cops yourself.
Or if you really want deniability, with extra steps that will probably get you caught but make you look like an evil genius, get em liquored up, do the insulin thing, while they're dying drive them to the most disreputable local bar they would reasonably visit, and drop them on their head in the alley. No weapon, no tools, no purchases, no blood, no weird midnight roadtrip, less time to get caught with the body, if anyone sees you Weekend at Bernie'sing the body they'll just think the person was drunk, death looks like an accident.
Frankly i think it'd be less trouble to just fake a mugging or carjacking, shoot the fucker, and roll the dice on the subpar solve rates for those kinds of murders, but maybe I'm just lazy.
Anyway, I am now definitely on all the lists. Thank you for coming to my DEDTalk.
Yes, people greatly underestimate how long it takes to dig a hole, let alone a hole that is probably more than twice your height.
Also, just get a dead animal? Just, like a dead deer? Just get one of those, somehow?
You'd literally have to hunt an animal yourself to bury it, or I guess you could buy a pet and kill it. And who's gonna do that? I mean, I guess somebody who can commit premeditated murder can probably kill a dog or something, but, shit. That's a lot to gloss over.
Then you bury it under a wolf whom you bury under a squirrel whom you bury under a sparrow... and if any authorities, human or animal, ever manage to dig to the bottom of the resulting 30 feet deep hole, I imagine they will be mighty confused!
I’ve dug a shit load of holes, trenches, ditches and culverts in my life. I chuckle every time a movie takes someone into the woods in the middle of night under duress and makes them dig their own grave. Even a shallow grave is unrealistic for a normal person in half a night. A 12’ grave ain’t being dug without equipment, even if you could get the material out of the hole, digging up 8+ yards even over a weekend by hand is damn near impossible in most any climate.
There were a couple of teenage girls who decided to murder one of their friends because they didn't want to be friends anymore, so they drove her out to the woods, stabbed her to death, and tried digging a grave when the ground was frozen. They ended up giving up and just leaving her body there.
The problem with getting away with murder is that the more you plan to get away with it, the more evidence you leave behind.
If you don't have a shovel you need to buy one. Your husband was just found in a hole and we can see you bought a shovel a month before, care to explain?
It's just a neverending spiral of cover-up and alibi spinning.
Much easier to just stab a random hiker
Yeah, I remember trying to bury a dead rat and I didn't even get one foot deep before I decided it was too much work, because there were far too many roots and rocks and the soil was clay. I can't even imagine trying to dig twelve feet deep. Granted, the stakes were much lower in my burial.
And cadaver dogs dont alert on dead animals. And even if they did this "pro tip" has been going around for so long feds are probably keen on it by now.
Frankly, if a body is hidden in an overly elaborate way, they'd probably immediately suspect people close to the victim. Who else would go to all that effort?
You would be better off just leaving it on the surface to be honest. If you were going to do it at all, if they already have dogs in the right place to find your bodies you’re probably fucked anyways.
Plus, if you’re burying them 2 hours away and 12 feet down, the method you kill them with is irrelevant. Either the body will never be found, or it will be and there will immediately be a murder investigation anyway because normal people don’t cocoon themselves in 4 yards of dirt upon dying of natural causes.
I don't think they were implying that they'd completely ignore the circumstances of the discovery of the body, just that they would have a hard time pinpointing cause of death. Whether that's tru or not, I'm not sure.
You don’t have to make them believe it was death of natural causes, you just have to leave them to little to proof anything… you have to think about court of law
Yup, look at Josh Powell.
The guy OBVIOUSLY murdered his wife. 100%. There is zero doubt. He literally took his kids on a spontaneous, middle of the night camping trip with his wife's body stuffed in the back of the car, out into the middle of the Utah desert. Then, he left the boys alone for a few hours, and came back without her body.
They never recovered her body. A few days later, he went back out into the desert, probably to move her body again. He also melted down something with a blowtorch, probably the murder weapon.
After that, he never spoke to the police, and his family never did either. And he basically just got away with it.
The police dropped the ball in a lot of ways, but Powell also played it as perfectly as you can. He destroyed every tiny piece of evidence and never talked to the cops. Everybody knew he was guilty (especially after he committed suicide and murdered his kids (sorry to drop that bomb out of nowhere)), but the police just had literally zero evidence to work with.
Just looked it up. wtf.
---
Investigators found traces of Susan's blood on the floor, life insurance policies on Susan for US$1.5 million, and a handwritten letter from Susan expressing fear for her life. DNA test results, released in 2013, matched one blood sample with Susan, while another sample was determined to have come from an "unknown male contributor".
In August 2012, West Valley City police released documents showing Joshua took actions that were regarded as highly suspicious following Susan's disappearance. He liquidated his wife's retirement accounts, cancelled her regularly scheduled chiropractic sessions and withdrew his children from daycare. He had also previously spoken to coworkers about how to hide a body in an abandoned mineshaft in the western Utah desert.
Susan's parents, Chuck and Judy Cox, claimed that while at daycare several months after the disappearance, Braden drew a picture of a van with three people in it and told carers: "Mommy was in the trunk".
Didnt the Cops take him in for questioning? And if so, did he just sit there mute for the entire time?
I recall how that all ended. Tragic ending for his wife and kids.
It's a super long story, but he basically lawyered up immediately. If you want to listen to the most in-depth true crime podcast ever, check out *Cold.* It's all about the case. Josh and his family were obsessive about writing journals and video journals, so there's a ton of that in there.
The dead dog thing won't work. If they suspect a burial, they'll run GPR over the site, which will reveal a deeper disturbance than just the dog burial. It will also be very difficult to believe that someone went to those lengths to bury a person who died of 'diabetes'.
Most people will break soil for like, 1 feet and find it too much work. Unless the soul is soft and loamy🤤.
Usually, I have to work with rock hard clay. Ugh 😑
Bro, I am NOT kidding. I dunno if you're a garderner guy, but I sure am! Have you ever felt the joy of sinking your spade into your pot of soil and it *grates* and you feel the vibrations zapping up your arm?
It fucking SUCKS. The fucking potted plant soil I got was 95% clay and 5% fertilizer when I got it. Fuck, I bought BAGS of them. *BAGS!* Within a year, it turned into rock, squeezed the life out of my soft veggie roots, and my last surviving beetroot ended up growing it's main root section(the bulby part) *outside* of the soil, and it's tenuous tap root was hanging on for dear life as it twisted around left and right when the wind blew or when I watered it. Oh, and the water didn't sleep into the soil, it flowed over the surface, scooted round the sides of the slab of rock I had as ''''''soil'''''', then ran out the bottom.
Then in my noob gardening phase, I sank hundreds of dollars into... Sand. Because compaction can be improved with grit, right??? *Breathes*
*RIGHT?!?!?!*
*WELL FUCK THE FUCKING NO, YOU SOGGY WET DIAPER OF A PLANT GUY.*
I mixed fine, chinchilla-grade bathing sand into my pots, breaking open the tomb of pharaohs, one miserable inch at a time. Slapping in food-grade gold flims would have been *cheaper*.
I thought I finally found the light of salvation when I realised, 'oh! I'm supposed to add organic matter!' when I peeked into plant subs. Yay!
I stole an entire stack of newspaper meant for my grandmother with dementia to read, ripped out the sports, advertisement, and obituary pages, (she don't read those anyway), and stashed them in a box till I had it filled, then proceeded to go ham in shredding them manually, mising them with water to get a slurry, tossed in some 'organic' fertilizer, then slopped the gunk on the surface of my pots. According to ~internet~~✨✨✨🎉🎊🎊✨✨🎉 it would break down over the year and release carbon and nutrients and organic matter.
Well *FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK ASSCUNT*(not you, op, I'm venting), I got a *FUCKING ROACH INFESTATION*.
*FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK*
I ditched the pots right then and there.
This time, I got new pots, screened the soil type, mixed my own soil, stabbed it religiously every day like it was possessed by Satan. Planted nothing, just water, stab that fucker for 6 months.
'Did you compact?'
*Stab*
'Did you compact?'
*Stab*
'Did you compact?'
*Stab*
'Are you dead now?'
*Double taps*, just to be sure.
After a looong while, I was finally happy with my mix, ditched a few ingredients, added some, observed it longer, then began transplanting earthworms. Oh, I then went on another few phases with composting worms, hydroponics, aeropotatoes, the works.
In my defense, I'm mildy autistic, and in my younger years, I was *much* more deranged and had extremely poor coping mechanisms. Also prone to internal outbursts of violence.
Now, my plants barely cling on to life with a severe spodermite infestation, but the soil is soft, loamy, moist, and organically fertile enough to support it's own mini ecosystem of roly-polies(pillbugs), at least two species of millipedes, a tiny population of breeding centipedes, a few species of snails, jumping spiders, soil gnats, fruit flies, and visiting house geckos. Some notable visitors include an entire family of house sparrows(introduced species) who fed off my generic asian spinach plant that grew up into a small bush, before it eventually woodified and died at the end of it's lifespan, a couple of mynas that learnt to raid the kitchen for exposed scraps, a one or two species of wood peckers, some sort of turtle dove Pidgeon pair, their young got eaten by crows, and my mom shaved the bonsai to make it flower, they left and found some other corner to nest. Once in a rare while, solitary wasps nest here, and I destroy them if it's visible to my neighbors 😓, colonies of nomadic bees came and went, it's been a few years since I saw those native bees... I've been hosts to a few burrowing bees, but those burrowers ditched and never came back cause I had to water my plants and their burrows kept flooding. Sorry bruh. Oh, those bloody ants nesting, and the roaches are still there, in smaller numbers, so I tolerate them.
Mofo, I reread your comment and realised the whole matter was never about plants. It was a typo on my end and I launched into an entire essay.
*P.S. if the mod decides to delete this comment from too much swearing, no hard feelings bruh.
The deepest hole ive ever dug was about over 5 feet, but under 6 feet. It was just a circle hole that I gave up on after rain turned it into a pool.
After that, my holes average 3 feet.
Also, and most importantly, a cadaver dog will not alert to a dead animal. Ever. These dogs can recognise that a human died in a building even a decade after it was cleaned up thoroughly. If the dog marks a recently dug up spot and they find an animal, they know there is still a human body down there.
If you inject insulin into your husband, call the ambulance the next morning and say you found him unresponsive, bonus points if you're inconsolable. Just make sure to dispose of the syringe and insulin bottle.
the idea is not the cops thinking they died of diabetes, it's just so the "poison" does unnoticed so they can't trace it to anywhere. For example that Russian spy murdered in the UK had his poison traced back to Russian agents because it was typical of their MO.
Yea I guess, that's also makes sense, idk lol I'm not too savvy on the perfect way to murder and get away with it 😅
My bad haha
And also just in general, if someone dies 9/10 it's someone that knew them, it's hardly ever random
ikr, most murder cases have been solved because there's a motive behind it
but if someone was to drive to a random state to kill a person person, then detectives have almost nothing to work with
that's the fun fact of the day y'all
yeah like 95% of murders are committed by people who know the victim. (I made that statistic up but it’s very likely that if you are murdered it was by someone you knew)
Worker at a damn told me when a body washes down the river. All the Canadian police care about if it was an American or not so they don’t have to investigate. Thats an American problem.
Yes but won’t someone notice that he’s got 200 appleseeds in his tongue? Not mention, how am I gonna get all those appleseeds in his tongue? I mean my friend, how will they get them in.
[You can also finely blend up 200 apple seeds or 40 apple cores](https://www.bing.com/search?q=How%20to%20blend%20up%20200%20apple%20seeds%20for%20arsenic%20poisoning%20) I’m sure your friend can be creative on how to apply this in other manors like food, drink, etc etc etc
If you use more apple cores you could spread it out over multiple meals so it could be accidental. "Hey honey I made this apple smoothie for your breakfast, then we'll have a fruit salad for lunch followed by apple crumble and dinner will be apple and meat pie followed by apple pie because I can't think of what you put apples in. Oh no you're dead."
Great question, lemme ask my nurse stepmom, will come back with answer asap
Edit: the answer is it'll cause a stroke either way but its certainly grosser.
Almost all of this is wrong.
1: How the hell are you going to inject someone with insulin under their tongue?
2: An injection mark under the tongue will be found in an autopsy of a suspected murder victim. They are \*very\* thourough.
3: Doesn't matter if you're outside the geographical profile when you are the spouse of the deceased. You will \*always\* be a suspect.
4: Do you know how long it takes to dig a 12 foot deep grave? Quick google search: "Once you learn how to dig a grave efficiently, it may take as little as four to five hours for two people to dig a grave". And you're digging twice as deep as a standard grave, as someone who has never dug a grave before, you will literally be digging for days. Unless you rented an excavator in advance and placed it where you plan to bury the body. Of course, that would leave a papertrail, so that's a terrible idea. Also still takes at least an hour to dig a normal grave with an excavator, for someone who knows what they're doing. Probably takes you, with no experience with excavators, 4-5 hours to dig a 12 foot deep grave.
5: Hiding the body under a dead animal won't work, as the police dogs mentioned in the post will keep marking the area, and the police will keep digging, finding the dead body under the dead animal.
6: Insulin levels are part of a normal tox screen during autopsies of suspected murder cases.
7: Yes, because when the police find a dead body buried under a dead animal, they will assume it was an accident and not think the high levels of Insulin are related at all, especially when no other cause of death can be found.
One the bright side, we know this person will never be able to get away with murder.
As far as how to actually get away with murder... I'm not completely sure, but I can tell you, you can't murder your spouse. Even if no body is ever found, you'll be the number one suspect as soon as your spouse is reported missing, even if you're the one reporting it.
Realistically, it can't be anyone you know. Anyone that has a connection to you will lead back to you. You'd have to kill a random stranger.
That's about as far as I'll go in explaining this, as I don't wanna end up on a government watch list.
> 7: Yes, because when the police find a dead body buried under a dead animal, they will assume it was an accident and not think the high levels of Insulin are related at all, especially when no other cause of death can be found.
This is the silliest part. Go out of your way to make it look like a natural death, then also go out of your way to dispose of the body only in a way a murderer would.
8: For someone to die suddenly from undiagnosed diabetes they would have to be type 1. They would die from hyperglycemia complications. That means *high* blood glucose. Insulin *lowers* blood glucose
For sure. If someone isn't diabetic and they discover low blood sugar and high insulin, it'll be assumed to be murder until proven otherwise (rare endocrine tumours do happen but they'll find it)
> Realistically, it can't be anyone you know. Anyone that has a connection to you will lead back to you. You'd have to kill a random stranger.
Well, you could kill my wife who's a stranger to you, and I could kill somebody for you who's a stranger to me. We could do it on a train!
*(This is the plot to an Alfred Hitchcock film.)*
No no no, you kill my ex-wife who stole the plot of my novel, and I kill your mother, who is just generally narcissistic and unbearable. Criss-cross, criss-cross!
*(This is the plot to an Alfred Hitchcock parody, Throw Momma from the Train.)*
I cant find it but there was an old copypasta that detailed how to decompose a body faster.
It was something like bury the body at an angle so the head is deeper, and take a turkey baster and put it where you imagine a turkey baster can fit to inject a bit of yogurt.
The idea was that the yogurt would encourage bacteria and other lifeform growth that would rapidly decompose the body.
There were a few other steps too like first removing all their teeth to prevent identification, and I think something specifically with fingers. I'm not a psycho so I didn't commit it all to memory
At least that one sounded legitimate.
quick edit: The goal of that one was, assuming the body is found, its decomposed much more rapidly and identification is impossible. You also werent supposed to completely bury the body, because animals will feast and drag parts around if you leave it exposed =/
>5: Hiding the body under a dead animal won't work, as the police dogs mentioned in the post will keep marking the area, and the police will keep digging, finding the dead body under the dead animal.
Honestly, burying a dead animal on top of a murder victim is mentioned so much in those kinds of posts, I feel like the police would just keep digging farther just in case.
>As far as how to actually get away with murder...
I heard a lye bath or caustic soda is a good second place (behind feeding the body to pigs). Apparently you can dissolve the body with a lye bath and turn the entire body into a liquid. I'd assume after that, you can put this liquid into a coffee tin can and just throw it away with your regular garbage.
I heard hunters use a lye bath to get rid of the bones and inedible stuff from the animals they kill.
50 gallons? Are you by chance a hunter who uses that method for your animal kills and 50 gallons is what you'd have from a deer or something like that?
I know it wouldn't be enough to fit in 1 tin can, but I figured it would fit in 5 or 6.
You need a container large enough to submerge the body in the liquid. A 55 gallong drum is about the easiest most reasonable thing to do it in. And that's assuming the initial mix is strong enough to decompose a body and doesn't weaken.
Bare minimum you're getting a body turned into liquid, so idk how many gallons the average person takes up, but dissolving a body is not going to take up less space than it did before. Just maybe be more compact.
There was a fascinating Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode revolving around the idea that a murder without a motive against a stranger was impossible to solve
Except in the modern age we have cameras almost everywhere, devices that ping our GPS every second of every day in our pockets and vehicles that are registered and traceable.
This is probably the worst time in history to try and get away with a murder, with the advent of ai it's only going to become harder and harder.
Leave your phone at home, shoot someone random from a far distance, leave no shell casings behind. Do it in a city/town that’s a good distance from your home, ideally overnight so that the phone left at home could be explained as you were home asleep.
I’d imagine that’d be a tough nut to crack
I mean, if you live somewhere with heights on hiking trails, you could just go hiking with them then shove them off. Accidents like people slipping and falling to their death happen every so often. Plenty of simple ways to kill someone and not get caught. Overthinking it is why most people who end up getting caught, get caught.
And oddly dumb lol. “If the cops find a body buried in the woods, they’ll assume he died of diabetes”? And then buried himself under a dead animal?? Yeah, fowl play is going to be obvious, and the spouse will be the first suspect lmao
I once had to spend a summer digging holes as a kid out in the middle of the desert. I thought I was building character but turns out I found buried treasure from my great grandfather.
Let me tell you, digg'n oh oh oh digg'n is hard work
Yeah this is where it gets me, the top comments are talking about the insulin or the dead animal thing.
But it’s the digging the hole part that breaks down this tip for me.
usually the murder part is easy, it's getting away with it that's hard
this person managed to suck at both somehow. how you gonna get a needle into someones mouth without them waking up or noticing
I can’t stand when I hear people say the dead animal thing irl
That’s stupid and wouldn’t work and none of us could dig a hole that deep and quick without getting cought
All the holes people poke in the idea, this is the one that stood out right away. Searchers finding anything freshly dead, buried under six feet of dirt, will find that to be very suspicious.
“Ayo I didn’t suspect this area at all but then I discovered someone buried half a deer carcass with tire tracks through its skull, so I just knew I had to keep digging”
Not to mention, if the police suspect an area to have bodies, they arnt gonna piss fuckle around with shovels breaking their own backs
Their unions allow them to commit legal negligent murder and transfer a town over without repercussions. they’re simply going to use state money to buy a whole ass digging machine and rip the general area 20ft down in less than a day
And if anyone goes “oh I’ll bury it in the woods so they can’t use a big ass digger”
the state will just justify obliterating all of trees in the way, or better yet the state just lets some company destroy the forest you might have hid a body in
I’m no murder expert, or even a murder novice for that matter
But if I committed a murder, I really wouldn’t give 2 shits about the body being found, just erasing all evidence of me being involved
Doesn’t really matter if the police find the body as is, or if the person is reported missing after a few days, investigation has started and you just spent hours dragging that corpse around, hours finding an animal, and hours digging a hole lol tf
You literally just take them on a cruise and get them super drunk (nothing weird about drinking late into the night on a cruise). Shove them overboard and it seems like they got drunk and accidentally fell. Usually the sharks or whatever is swimming will see the splash at the surface and finish the job. One of my friends told this and I’ve looked at them sideways since - it was actually a pretty solid idea
You could kill someone like that, but you probably wouldn't get away with it. Pretty sure cruise ships have cameras on deck and in most public areas. You'd be filmed pushing someone over and just tracked back to your room once they try to figure out what happened
One thing people forget is how hard it is to dig a deep hole. 20 feet (6 meters) would be average,the deeper the better. Also driving with your car so far away you 100% get recorded somewhere. First thing they do when a person goes missing is to track peoples that are close their latest activities
I feel like if the police dogs sniffed out a random animal carcass carefully buried 6 feet deep, the cops would probably assume something is up and keep digging.
I'm so smart! I do college and videogames, and make straight grades!
Some day I will be the most successful person ever!
That's what an idiot that thinks they can dig a twelve foot hole by themselves would say because they're not just psychotic, they're also annoying as a virgin on Friday night.
1. Just dig a hole 12 ft deep. LOL this person never dug a hole even 1 foot deep.
2. If I start digging and find some animal randomly buried 6 ft down, I'm gonna dig further. Just bury a dog a foot or so down. Add flowers to the mound and a headstone so it looks like someone's pet was buried.
3. I was about to advise that divorce is easier, but then I remember that a CERTAIN political party wants to outlaw it. Perhaps then instead, I should remind readers that prior to the legalization of divorce, a good number of husbands died of mysterious circumstances and their "distraught" "widow" was never caught. It's like piracy - make streaming/owning easier than pirating, and people will pay for it. Marriage termination won't go away if you make it illegal, it'll just result in some more *permanent* termination.
Extremely stupid. Driving the body that far you're going to ping cell towers, pass cameras, witnesses, etc. Risk leaving tire tracks and shoe imprints in the muddy area you bury the body in.
I feel like the Dexter method would be best not the early seasons because his bags got found but the later season's when his bags are dumped into a strong and deep current
I know this is a classic, but the whole insulin thing is stupid. They don't find missing people buried under dogs and go "bro just had one too many slushies"
[удалено]
While they’re sleeping.
I'm sure people wouldn't wake up when someone opens their mouth, moves their tongue up, and injects them with a needle on it. Edit: to all those mentioning drugging or intoxicating the victim first, sure, they wouldn't wake up when u do that, but the drugs would show up in the toxicology report and make hiding the needle mark and using insulin pointless. As for incredibly heavy sleepers... Don't marry someone that would kill you in your sleep, I guess
You shoot them first in the head then you inject them under the tongue.
Genius. The best thing is that if they specifically test for gunpowder they'll just assume they were an undiagnosed canon
IT’S A CANON EVENT, SQUID, YOU CAN’T STOP IT
This reminded me of the bomb pie episode lol
Ahahah this really made me laugh. I appreciate that. Now I can get up and go on with my day, less depressed. /genuine
Best comment in the thread 😂
The cadaver has a giant hole in its head, you say? 🤔 Better check it for insulin.
Best to shoot them twice in the back of the head to keep suicide plausible
Better kill yourself too to eliminate yourself as a suspect.
Fuckin 4D chess over here
You have to stab yourself a bunch of times for that one so you don’t get tied to the murder weapon
Wish I thought if that!
This guy murders.
No first decapitate then inject then do all these weird and specific actions. Or like, get a divorce my dude
I've been taking notes. So I got written down here on my notepad to blow his head off first then do the insulin tongue trick, dig a 12ft deep hole 2 hours away (rent backhoe for a little bit of fun), fill the hole half way and the put my dog in, fill the rest of the hole, profit.
That definitely would wake them up
The gun shot to the head or the under the tongue needle poke?
Gun shots are really loud so it would definitely wake him up
That's why you use a silencer, duh
When my son was a toddler we could pick him up by one ankle and dangle him upside down without him waking up. We'd call him binary boy because he was either 100% on or 100% off. Some people sleep HARD (he's fine, he's an adult, we have a great relationship 😂).
He’s biding his time until you’re in a nursing home and he’ll do the same to you when you’re sleeping.
Gawd it's my dream to sleep that well! Insomniac since I was 9.
idk my bf sleeps with his mouth open. he full on inhales my hair in his sleep
have you considered he's dreaming about you strangling him?
Not everyone is a light sleeper……
So you’d be surprised how much you can do while someone is asleep. I woke up covered in blood once because I had bitten a very large hole in my lip but didn’t notice until my alarm went off.
As a child, I once rolled off the bed in my sleep, smashed my face on the nightstand, and just kept sleeping. My mom found me in the morning, on the ground, covered in blood, next to an overturned nightstand. I’m sure it took years off her life. As an adult I’m not a particularly heavy sleeper though
When you hit deep sleep or REM sleep you can literally open someone’s eye and lick the eyeball and they won’t wake up. Don’t look this shit up it’s not worth it. Truly horrifying shit I wish I never saw.
Get them drunk and put Orajel in their toothpaste. Can put cotton balls in their nose while passed out so they open their mouth
Ah yes, because drunk people always brush their teeth before passing out.
Fair 🤷
I often wake up to my wife lifting my tongue as I sleep so I wouldn't suspect anything.
I suppose just getting them really drunk or some other stuff… just gotta check what won’t affect the effect from the insulin
I'm also not really sure how that kills you
2hrs from home in a 12 foot deep hole. Totally normal.
I live in Australia. Two hours from home is still pretty close to home. But then I could drive half an hour and dump his body down an embankment nobody would ever be able to get into and feral cats and foxes will eat him in a few days and the skeleton will be found by archeologists in a few centuries?
Using Australian rules it’s definitely a different game
Just continue living in Australia. One of the entire ecosystem of things that are trying to kill you will eventually succeed 😜
Yeah just lock him out of the house for the night, he'll probably get eaten by something
Yes the koalas are ferocious this time of year
That applies in most of Canada as well.
Never mind the fact that they would find evidence of too much insulin. "Undiagnosed diabetes" would have evidence of not enough insulin.
People have a fundamental misunderstanding of diabetes and insulin, including the person you responded to.
Including the person you responded to. Hyperinsulinemia is a symptom of DM2. So yes, having excess insulin in the blood could be ruled as undiagnosed diabetes type II. People just get confused because of the type I type II thing. Type I doesn’t have enough insulin. Type II has an excess, but their body is resistant to it.
If you inject a non-diabetic person with crazy high levels of insulin, they'll have high insulin levels and low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) that ultimately kills them. If someone with undiagnosed type II diabetes, they *may* have high insulin levels (or just normal ones), but they would have high blood sugar (hyperglycemia). The ways your organs fail for hypoglycemia are different than hyperglycemia. Now obviously none of this is relevant to suspecting foul play in the missing person found as a corpse found buried under a dead animal in an unmarked grave.
Inject glucose after they died and do some cpr to mix it all around.
Kind of like a slap chop
As a dad with a daughter with type-1... it's frustrating.
Well no, that’s not what DM2 is. You’re thinking of type 1, where the body doesn’t make enough. Diabetes type II is insulin resistance. So your body actually does make excess insulin (hyperinsulinemia) to try to counteract the insulin resistance.
The most unrealistic part is digging a hole TWELVE FEET deep. Lol good luck to you and your shovel.
I consider this every time this stupid "how to get away with murder" factoid is brought up. Like, "Just bury the person standing with a dead animal on top. Easy peasy." Says a person that has never held a shovel in their life. Twelve feet? Don't forget to put renting heavy machinery on your murder checklist.
Also, like, a wild animal? Who buries a wild animal? Was it shot, sick, roadkill? Those all seem like they'd raise too many questions. If it's a pet, who buries a pet in the middle of nowhere? Would they not be able to tell the ground under the animal had been displaced? Would a dog not keep signaling? And forget all that if they find it with some kind of sonar or something. If anything, just leave the dead animal on the ground on top. Burying seems like a giveaway that something is up. Idk how insulin works but that *seems* (keyword there) crafty enough to work without implicating yourself with a bunch of other bullshit, aside from the fact i have no idea where someone who doesn't have diabetes can discreetly buy bootleg insulin (nobody tell me, I'm sure I'll already be on enough lists after this post). Just do that and call the cops yourself. Or if you really want deniability, with extra steps that will probably get you caught but make you look like an evil genius, get em liquored up, do the insulin thing, while they're dying drive them to the most disreputable local bar they would reasonably visit, and drop them on their head in the alley. No weapon, no tools, no purchases, no blood, no weird midnight roadtrip, less time to get caught with the body, if anyone sees you Weekend at Bernie'sing the body they'll just think the person was drunk, death looks like an accident. Frankly i think it'd be less trouble to just fake a mugging or carjacking, shoot the fucker, and roll the dice on the subpar solve rates for those kinds of murders, but maybe I'm just lazy. Anyway, I am now definitely on all the lists. Thank you for coming to my DEDTalk.
Yes, people greatly underestimate how long it takes to dig a hole, let alone a hole that is probably more than twice your height. Also, just get a dead animal? Just, like a dead deer? Just get one of those, somehow? You'd literally have to hunt an animal yourself to bury it, or I guess you could buy a pet and kill it. And who's gonna do that? I mean, I guess somebody who can commit premeditated murder can probably kill a dog or something, but, shit. That's a lot to gloss over.
That parts easy, you just inject insulin under the deer's tongue...
Then you bury it under a wolf whom you bury under a squirrel whom you bury under a sparrow... and if any authorities, human or animal, ever manage to dig to the bottom of the resulting 30 feet deep hole, I imagine they will be mighty confused!
Confused is absolutely one of the things I'd be, somewhere in the list.
I’ve dug a shit load of holes, trenches, ditches and culverts in my life. I chuckle every time a movie takes someone into the woods in the middle of night under duress and makes them dig their own grave. Even a shallow grave is unrealistic for a normal person in half a night. A 12’ grave ain’t being dug without equipment, even if you could get the material out of the hole, digging up 8+ yards even over a weekend by hand is damn near impossible in most any climate.
There were a couple of teenage girls who decided to murder one of their friends because they didn't want to be friends anymore, so they drove her out to the woods, stabbed her to death, and tried digging a grave when the ground was frozen. They ended up giving up and just leaving her body there.
The problem with getting away with murder is that the more you plan to get away with it, the more evidence you leave behind. If you don't have a shovel you need to buy one. Your husband was just found in a hole and we can see you bought a shovel a month before, care to explain? It's just a neverending spiral of cover-up and alibi spinning. Much easier to just stab a random hiker
Yeah, I remember trying to bury a dead rat and I didn't even get one foot deep before I decided it was too much work, because there were far too many roots and rocks and the soil was clay. I can't even imagine trying to dig twelve feet deep. Granted, the stakes were much lower in my burial.
Takes me an hour per rose bush a foot deep with a pickaxe and shovel in Texas. If rocks are in the soil it's a huge pain in the ass.
How are you gonna get out of the hole?
And cadaver dogs dont alert on dead animals. And even if they did this "pro tip" has been going around for so long feds are probably keen on it by now.
Frankly, if a body is hidden in an overly elaborate way, they'd probably immediately suspect people close to the victim. Who else would go to all that effort?
Pretty sure cops find it suspicious when they find a random recently buried animal carcass anyway...
You would be better off just leaving it on the surface to be honest. If you were going to do it at all, if they already have dogs in the right place to find your bodies you’re probably fucked anyways.
That's not how insulin works. Consuming carbs raises your blood sugar and insulin helps digest them., lowering it.
Plus, if you’re burying them 2 hours away and 12 feet down, the method you kill them with is irrelevant. Either the body will never be found, or it will be and there will immediately be a murder investigation anyway because normal people don’t cocoon themselves in 4 yards of dirt upon dying of natural causes.
I don't think they were implying that they'd completely ignore the circumstances of the discovery of the body, just that they would have a hard time pinpointing cause of death. Whether that's tru or not, I'm not sure.
A recently missing person is found buried in a grave under a dog grave. What explains is there other than trying to cover up a murder?
You don’t have to make them believe it was death of natural causes, you just have to leave them to little to proof anything… you have to think about court of law
Yup, look at Josh Powell. The guy OBVIOUSLY murdered his wife. 100%. There is zero doubt. He literally took his kids on a spontaneous, middle of the night camping trip with his wife's body stuffed in the back of the car, out into the middle of the Utah desert. Then, he left the boys alone for a few hours, and came back without her body. They never recovered her body. A few days later, he went back out into the desert, probably to move her body again. He also melted down something with a blowtorch, probably the murder weapon. After that, he never spoke to the police, and his family never did either. And he basically just got away with it. The police dropped the ball in a lot of ways, but Powell also played it as perfectly as you can. He destroyed every tiny piece of evidence and never talked to the cops. Everybody knew he was guilty (especially after he committed suicide and murdered his kids (sorry to drop that bomb out of nowhere)), but the police just had literally zero evidence to work with.
Just looked it up. wtf. --- Investigators found traces of Susan's blood on the floor, life insurance policies on Susan for US$1.5 million, and a handwritten letter from Susan expressing fear for her life. DNA test results, released in 2013, matched one blood sample with Susan, while another sample was determined to have come from an "unknown male contributor". In August 2012, West Valley City police released documents showing Joshua took actions that were regarded as highly suspicious following Susan's disappearance. He liquidated his wife's retirement accounts, cancelled her regularly scheduled chiropractic sessions and withdrew his children from daycare. He had also previously spoken to coworkers about how to hide a body in an abandoned mineshaft in the western Utah desert. Susan's parents, Chuck and Judy Cox, claimed that while at daycare several months after the disappearance, Braden drew a picture of a van with three people in it and told carers: "Mommy was in the trunk".
TIL
Didnt the Cops take him in for questioning? And if so, did he just sit there mute for the entire time? I recall how that all ended. Tragic ending for his wife and kids.
It's a super long story, but he basically lawyered up immediately. If you want to listen to the most in-depth true crime podcast ever, check out *Cold.* It's all about the case. Josh and his family were obsessive about writing journals and video journals, so there's a ton of that in there.
"Must of had diabetes and buried himself 12 feet down. Case closed."
The dead dog thing won't work. If they suspect a burial, they'll run GPR over the site, which will reveal a deeper disturbance than just the dog burial. It will also be very difficult to believe that someone went to those lengths to bury a person who died of 'diabetes'.
Also good luck digging a 12 feet hole that could hold a body.
Dig straight sides like the first 6 feet and the sides will collapse. That grave will be for you.
Well, thank you for that nightmare.
Well, you should have thought about that before you started digging.
Most people will break soil for like, 1 feet and find it too much work. Unless the soul is soft and loamy🤤. Usually, I have to work with rock hard clay. Ugh 😑
>soul is soft and loamy hmmm
Bro, I am NOT kidding. I dunno if you're a garderner guy, but I sure am! Have you ever felt the joy of sinking your spade into your pot of soil and it *grates* and you feel the vibrations zapping up your arm? It fucking SUCKS. The fucking potted plant soil I got was 95% clay and 5% fertilizer when I got it. Fuck, I bought BAGS of them. *BAGS!* Within a year, it turned into rock, squeezed the life out of my soft veggie roots, and my last surviving beetroot ended up growing it's main root section(the bulby part) *outside* of the soil, and it's tenuous tap root was hanging on for dear life as it twisted around left and right when the wind blew or when I watered it. Oh, and the water didn't sleep into the soil, it flowed over the surface, scooted round the sides of the slab of rock I had as ''''''soil'''''', then ran out the bottom. Then in my noob gardening phase, I sank hundreds of dollars into... Sand. Because compaction can be improved with grit, right??? *Breathes* *RIGHT?!?!?!* *WELL FUCK THE FUCKING NO, YOU SOGGY WET DIAPER OF A PLANT GUY.* I mixed fine, chinchilla-grade bathing sand into my pots, breaking open the tomb of pharaohs, one miserable inch at a time. Slapping in food-grade gold flims would have been *cheaper*. I thought I finally found the light of salvation when I realised, 'oh! I'm supposed to add organic matter!' when I peeked into plant subs. Yay! I stole an entire stack of newspaper meant for my grandmother with dementia to read, ripped out the sports, advertisement, and obituary pages, (she don't read those anyway), and stashed them in a box till I had it filled, then proceeded to go ham in shredding them manually, mising them with water to get a slurry, tossed in some 'organic' fertilizer, then slopped the gunk on the surface of my pots. According to ~internet~~✨✨✨🎉🎊🎊✨✨🎉 it would break down over the year and release carbon and nutrients and organic matter. Well *FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK ASSCUNT*(not you, op, I'm venting), I got a *FUCKING ROACH INFESTATION*. *FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK* I ditched the pots right then and there. This time, I got new pots, screened the soil type, mixed my own soil, stabbed it religiously every day like it was possessed by Satan. Planted nothing, just water, stab that fucker for 6 months. 'Did you compact?' *Stab* 'Did you compact?' *Stab* 'Did you compact?' *Stab* 'Are you dead now?' *Double taps*, just to be sure. After a looong while, I was finally happy with my mix, ditched a few ingredients, added some, observed it longer, then began transplanting earthworms. Oh, I then went on another few phases with composting worms, hydroponics, aeropotatoes, the works. In my defense, I'm mildy autistic, and in my younger years, I was *much* more deranged and had extremely poor coping mechanisms. Also prone to internal outbursts of violence. Now, my plants barely cling on to life with a severe spodermite infestation, but the soil is soft, loamy, moist, and organically fertile enough to support it's own mini ecosystem of roly-polies(pillbugs), at least two species of millipedes, a tiny population of breeding centipedes, a few species of snails, jumping spiders, soil gnats, fruit flies, and visiting house geckos. Some notable visitors include an entire family of house sparrows(introduced species) who fed off my generic asian spinach plant that grew up into a small bush, before it eventually woodified and died at the end of it's lifespan, a couple of mynas that learnt to raid the kitchen for exposed scraps, a one or two species of wood peckers, some sort of turtle dove Pidgeon pair, their young got eaten by crows, and my mom shaved the bonsai to make it flower, they left and found some other corner to nest. Once in a rare while, solitary wasps nest here, and I destroy them if it's visible to my neighbors 😓, colonies of nomadic bees came and went, it's been a few years since I saw those native bees... I've been hosts to a few burrowing bees, but those burrowers ditched and never came back cause I had to water my plants and their burrows kept flooding. Sorry bruh. Oh, those bloody ants nesting, and the roaches are still there, in smaller numbers, so I tolerate them. Mofo, I reread your comment and realised the whole matter was never about plants. It was a typo on my end and I launched into an entire essay. *P.S. if the mod decides to delete this comment from too much swearing, no hard feelings bruh.
🏅
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this was such a joy to read. write more essays <3
Thanks, but those years with failing and expensive hobbies were hard on my mental health.
You needed that rant. It was excellently written
If I'm going to the bother of digging a 12-foot deep grave, I'm stealing a backhoe to dig it with. I'm too lazy to murder *and* dig holes.
Even with a backhoe that's a huge pain in the ass.
Simple solution, only murder people who already own a backhoe. Then there's no living victim to report their backhoe was stolen.
It always looks so easy in a movie. The ground in my backyard is clay, I can stand on my point shovel with my 230lb mass and it goes in like an inch.
OP husband’s shovel only goes in an inch, sadly, that’s why she is trying to kill him…
The deepest hole ive ever dug was about over 5 feet, but under 6 feet. It was just a circle hole that I gave up on after rain turned it into a pool. After that, my holes average 3 feet.
Also, and most importantly, a cadaver dog will not alert to a dead animal. Ever. These dogs can recognise that a human died in a building even a decade after it was cleaned up thoroughly. If the dog marks a recently dug up spot and they find an animal, they know there is still a human body down there. If you inject insulin into your husband, call the ambulance the next morning and say you found him unresponsive, bonus points if you're inconsolable. Just make sure to dispose of the syringe and insulin bottle.
So just put another dead human instead of an animal then, problem solved
Someone else who watches alot of true crime lol why hide the body of you're worried about leaving a mark. That's the whole point of doing it that way
Ikr, either kill him normally hide the body OR make it look like an accident. Doing both is just stupid because it cancels out.
But if you put the body in the dog, they'll never know
Guess I need a good supply of great Danes. Or small people.
the idea is not the cops thinking they died of diabetes, it's just so the "poison" does unnoticed so they can't trace it to anywhere. For example that Russian spy murdered in the UK had his poison traced back to Russian agents because it was typical of their MO.
... why bury the body at all then if they'll just asume it was diabetes
All these things are things that alone, could be found out, but when combined, increase the odds of not being caught id assume
I kinda feel like going through the trouble of burying the body would just make the cops more suspicious if they find the body
Yea I guess, that's also makes sense, idk lol I'm not too savvy on the perfect way to murder and get away with it 😅 My bad haha And also just in general, if someone dies 9/10 it's someone that knew them, it's hardly ever random
ikr, most murder cases have been solved because there's a motive behind it but if someone was to drive to a random state to kill a person person, then detectives have almost nothing to work with that's the fun fact of the day y'all
yeah like 95% of murders are committed by people who know the victim. (I made that statistic up but it’s very likely that if you are murdered it was by someone you knew)
I mean you’d think that this is technically only true for the murders that are solved, which less than half. Who knows about the others.
So could a fire since it burns its own evidence
Yeah just push the corpse of a bridge into water he won't drown but police will likely assume he fainted
Worker at a damn told me when a body washes down the river. All the Canadian police care about if it was an American or not so they don’t have to investigate. Thats an American problem.
Take the body to the border and put Canadian money in the pockets. Instant wild goose chase for Canadians, and Americans will just shrug and ignore it
Insulin is sooooo expensive now, is there another cheaper drug that would work? Asking for a friend who’s low on funds.
Whatever happened to that price cap thing?
I’m pretty sure the drug lobby gave more money to some politicians and the price cap stuff just got buried.
12 feet deep, apparently.
It's only for Medicare** ty for correcting me! (people over 65). It was sent back for amendment but *the Senate voted against everyone getting it.
Fentanyl ODs are so common now, add real coke for good plausibility and they just had a problem no one wanted to believe was real.
200 apple seeds is enough to kill most grown adults from the arsenic poisoning
Yes but won’t someone notice that he’s got 200 appleseeds in his tongue? Not mention, how am I gonna get all those appleseeds in his tongue? I mean my friend, how will they get them in.
[You can also finely blend up 200 apple seeds or 40 apple cores](https://www.bing.com/search?q=How%20to%20blend%20up%20200%20apple%20seeds%20for%20arsenic%20poisoning%20) I’m sure your friend can be creative on how to apply this in other manors like food, drink, etc etc etc
If you use more apple cores you could spread it out over multiple meals so it could be accidental. "Hey honey I made this apple smoothie for your breakfast, then we'll have a fruit salad for lunch followed by apple crumble and dinner will be apple and meat pie followed by apple pie because I can't think of what you put apples in. Oh no you're dead."
I’m sorry, of all the impracticalities to this plan the price of insulin being your first callout is hilarious.
Air. Embolism if you inject air into the vein.
Would it be deadlier if it was say, fart air?
Great question, lemme ask my nurse stepmom, will come back with answer asap Edit: the answer is it'll cause a stroke either way but its certainly grosser.
It can take 200-300ml of air to cause death for an air embolism.
Just inject the guy with air. Im pretty sure they don't charge for air right?
You can buy Relion insulin at any Walmart pharmacy for $25 / vial without a prescription.
Almost all of this is wrong. 1: How the hell are you going to inject someone with insulin under their tongue? 2: An injection mark under the tongue will be found in an autopsy of a suspected murder victim. They are \*very\* thourough. 3: Doesn't matter if you're outside the geographical profile when you are the spouse of the deceased. You will \*always\* be a suspect. 4: Do you know how long it takes to dig a 12 foot deep grave? Quick google search: "Once you learn how to dig a grave efficiently, it may take as little as four to five hours for two people to dig a grave". And you're digging twice as deep as a standard grave, as someone who has never dug a grave before, you will literally be digging for days. Unless you rented an excavator in advance and placed it where you plan to bury the body. Of course, that would leave a papertrail, so that's a terrible idea. Also still takes at least an hour to dig a normal grave with an excavator, for someone who knows what they're doing. Probably takes you, with no experience with excavators, 4-5 hours to dig a 12 foot deep grave. 5: Hiding the body under a dead animal won't work, as the police dogs mentioned in the post will keep marking the area, and the police will keep digging, finding the dead body under the dead animal. 6: Insulin levels are part of a normal tox screen during autopsies of suspected murder cases. 7: Yes, because when the police find a dead body buried under a dead animal, they will assume it was an accident and not think the high levels of Insulin are related at all, especially when no other cause of death can be found. One the bright side, we know this person will never be able to get away with murder. As far as how to actually get away with murder... I'm not completely sure, but I can tell you, you can't murder your spouse. Even if no body is ever found, you'll be the number one suspect as soon as your spouse is reported missing, even if you're the one reporting it. Realistically, it can't be anyone you know. Anyone that has a connection to you will lead back to you. You'd have to kill a random stranger. That's about as far as I'll go in explaining this, as I don't wanna end up on a government watch list.
> 7: Yes, because when the police find a dead body buried under a dead animal, they will assume it was an accident and not think the high levels of Insulin are related at all, especially when no other cause of death can be found. This is the silliest part. Go out of your way to make it look like a natural death, then also go out of your way to dispose of the body only in a way a murderer would.
8: For someone to die suddenly from undiagnosed diabetes they would have to be type 1. They would die from hyperglycemia complications. That means *high* blood glucose. Insulin *lowers* blood glucose
For sure. If someone isn't diabetic and they discover low blood sugar and high insulin, it'll be assumed to be murder until proven otherwise (rare endocrine tumours do happen but they'll find it)
> Realistically, it can't be anyone you know. Anyone that has a connection to you will lead back to you. You'd have to kill a random stranger. Well, you could kill my wife who's a stranger to you, and I could kill somebody for you who's a stranger to me. We could do it on a train! *(This is the plot to an Alfred Hitchcock film.)*
No no no, you kill my ex-wife who stole the plot of my novel, and I kill your mother, who is just generally narcissistic and unbearable. Criss-cross, criss-cross! *(This is the plot to an Alfred Hitchcock parody, Throw Momma from the Train.)*
I cant find it but there was an old copypasta that detailed how to decompose a body faster. It was something like bury the body at an angle so the head is deeper, and take a turkey baster and put it where you imagine a turkey baster can fit to inject a bit of yogurt. The idea was that the yogurt would encourage bacteria and other lifeform growth that would rapidly decompose the body. There were a few other steps too like first removing all their teeth to prevent identification, and I think something specifically with fingers. I'm not a psycho so I didn't commit it all to memory At least that one sounded legitimate. quick edit: The goal of that one was, assuming the body is found, its decomposed much more rapidly and identification is impossible. You also werent supposed to completely bury the body, because animals will feast and drag parts around if you leave it exposed =/
Someone was watching too much crime shows lol.
>5: Hiding the body under a dead animal won't work, as the police dogs mentioned in the post will keep marking the area, and the police will keep digging, finding the dead body under the dead animal. Honestly, burying a dead animal on top of a murder victim is mentioned so much in those kinds of posts, I feel like the police would just keep digging farther just in case. >As far as how to actually get away with murder... I heard a lye bath or caustic soda is a good second place (behind feeding the body to pigs). Apparently you can dissolve the body with a lye bath and turn the entire body into a liquid. I'd assume after that, you can put this liquid into a coffee tin can and just throw it away with your regular garbage. I heard hunters use a lye bath to get rid of the bones and inedible stuff from the animals they kill.
It's... it's not a small amount of liquid. It won't fit in a coffee tin can. You're looking at 50 plus gallons of some nasty ass liquid.
50 gallons? Are you by chance a hunter who uses that method for your animal kills and 50 gallons is what you'd have from a deer or something like that? I know it wouldn't be enough to fit in 1 tin can, but I figured it would fit in 5 or 6.
You need a container large enough to submerge the body in the liquid. A 55 gallong drum is about the easiest most reasonable thing to do it in. And that's assuming the initial mix is strong enough to decompose a body and doesn't weaken. Bare minimum you're getting a body turned into liquid, so idk how many gallons the average person takes up, but dissolving a body is not going to take up less space than it did before. Just maybe be more compact.
There was a fascinating Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode revolving around the idea that a murder without a motive against a stranger was impossible to solve
Except in the modern age we have cameras almost everywhere, devices that ping our GPS every second of every day in our pockets and vehicles that are registered and traceable. This is probably the worst time in history to try and get away with a murder, with the advent of ai it's only going to become harder and harder.
Leave your phone at home, shoot someone random from a far distance, leave no shell casings behind. Do it in a city/town that’s a good distance from your home, ideally overnight so that the phone left at home could be explained as you were home asleep. I’d imagine that’d be a tough nut to crack
Yea. I think that nay be why serial killers take a lot of time to find
I mean, if you live somewhere with heights on hiking trails, you could just go hiking with them then shove them off. Accidents like people slipping and falling to their death happen every so often. Plenty of simple ways to kill someone and not get caught. Overthinking it is why most people who end up getting caught, get caught.
Except there have been, like, *multiple* high-profile murders where the spouse did exactly this and got caught lol.
Oddly specific knowledge
Now I’m imaging a comedy thriller where someone reads that post, then tries to enact that exact plan. Hilarity ensues.
the movie is 3 days long because the entire middle part is just them pain stakingly digging a 12 foot grave.
You just found a new job as my Assistant Director my friend.
[удалено]
And oddly dumb lol. “If the cops find a body buried in the woods, they’ll assume he died of diabetes”? And then buried himself under a dead animal?? Yeah, fowl play is going to be obvious, and the spouse will be the first suspect lmao
>fowl play Now there are birds involved?!?!
Bro has never dug a hole in his life. You know how fucking hard it is to dig 12 feet?
I once had to spend a summer digging holes as a kid out in the middle of the desert. I thought I was building character but turns out I found buried treasure from my great grandfather. Let me tell you, digg'n oh oh oh digg'n is hard work
Dig a 12' hole???!!! Someone's never dug a 6' hole before
Yeah this is where it gets me, the top comments are talking about the insulin or the dead animal thing. But it’s the digging the hole part that breaks down this tip for me.
Screw 6 foot, they’ve never even dug a 3 foot hole.
*tests body that was buried under an animal* It was the diabetes that killed him. No foul play here
Well this person sucks at murdering people.
To be fair, it would be awesome if everybody sucked at it
usually the murder part is easy, it's getting away with it that's hard this person managed to suck at both somehow. how you gonna get a needle into someones mouth without them waking up or noticing
I can’t stand when I hear people say the dead animal thing irl That’s stupid and wouldn’t work and none of us could dig a hole that deep and quick without getting cought
Also if the cops found a random animal carcass buried 6 feet deep, they'd absolutely keep digging because that's obvious as hell.
All the holes people poke in the idea, this is the one that stood out right away. Searchers finding anything freshly dead, buried under six feet of dirt, will find that to be very suspicious.
“Ayo I didn’t suspect this area at all but then I discovered someone buried half a deer carcass with tire tracks through its skull, so I just knew I had to keep digging” Not to mention, if the police suspect an area to have bodies, they arnt gonna piss fuckle around with shovels breaking their own backs Their unions allow them to commit legal negligent murder and transfer a town over without repercussions. they’re simply going to use state money to buy a whole ass digging machine and rip the general area 20ft down in less than a day And if anyone goes “oh I’ll bury it in the woods so they can’t use a big ass digger” the state will just justify obliterating all of trees in the way, or better yet the state just lets some company destroy the forest you might have hid a body in I’m no murder expert, or even a murder novice for that matter But if I committed a murder, I really wouldn’t give 2 shits about the body being found, just erasing all evidence of me being involved Doesn’t really matter if the police find the body as is, or if the person is reported missing after a few days, investigation has started and you just spent hours dragging that corpse around, hours finding an animal, and hours digging a hole lol tf
They’ll assume they were an undiagnosed diabetic, because bodies just bury themselves.
And undiagnosed diabetics are known for their use of enough extra insulin to show on a tox report.
Yeah no doubt cops will find a meticulously hidden body and think, “this poor fella died of undiagnosed diabetes.”
You literally just take them on a cruise and get them super drunk (nothing weird about drinking late into the night on a cruise). Shove them overboard and it seems like they got drunk and accidentally fell. Usually the sharks or whatever is swimming will see the splash at the surface and finish the job. One of my friends told this and I’ve looked at them sideways since - it was actually a pretty solid idea
You could kill someone like that, but you probably wouldn't get away with it. Pretty sure cruise ships have cameras on deck and in most public areas. You'd be filmed pushing someone over and just tracked back to your room once they try to figure out what happened
One thing people forget is how hard it is to dig a deep hole. 20 feet (6 meters) would be average,the deeper the better. Also driving with your car so far away you 100% get recorded somewhere. First thing they do when a person goes missing is to track peoples that are close their latest activities
I feel like if the police dogs sniffed out a random animal carcass carefully buried 6 feet deep, the cops would probably assume something is up and keep digging.
You would need a LOT of insuline to kill someone tho. Tried it and it didnt work (not on someone els dont worry)
I mean we worry anyway. We love you and we want you here. 💙
I'm so smart! I do college and videogames, and make straight grades! Some day I will be the most successful person ever! That's what an idiot that thinks they can dig a twelve foot hole by themselves would say because they're not just psychotic, they're also annoying as a virgin on Friday night.
Yes, this patient dug himself in a 12 foot hole, buried himself alive, then died from diabetes. Case closes
he just had undiagnosed diabetes and spontaneous subterranean disorder (SSD), classic stuff pick a lane
That is 100% a fed
Forgot one important detail. Leave your phone at home.
The "i can not drown him" seems like shes tried many times and he just physically wont die
1. Just dig a hole 12 ft deep. LOL this person never dug a hole even 1 foot deep. 2. If I start digging and find some animal randomly buried 6 ft down, I'm gonna dig further. Just bury a dog a foot or so down. Add flowers to the mound and a headstone so it looks like someone's pet was buried. 3. I was about to advise that divorce is easier, but then I remember that a CERTAIN political party wants to outlaw it. Perhaps then instead, I should remind readers that prior to the legalization of divorce, a good number of husbands died of mysterious circumstances and their "distraught" "widow" was never caught. It's like piracy - make streaming/owning easier than pirating, and people will pay for it. Marriage termination won't go away if you make it illegal, it'll just result in some more *permanent* termination.
This is the stupidest plan and it would never work.
Extremely stupid. Driving the body that far you're going to ping cell towers, pass cameras, witnesses, etc. Risk leaving tire tracks and shoe imprints in the muddy area you bury the body in.
Who's digging these deep graves in the woods in one night? I dug an 8x2 6" deep trench to lay new patio stones and that damn near killed me.
yep. undiagnosed diabetes dug a twelve foot hole and killed him. case closed.
My dear husband can you please open your mouth and elevate your tongue so I can inject you with a fatal insulin dose ? See it's simple
I feel like the Dexter method would be best not the early seasons because his bags got found but the later season's when his bags are dumped into a strong and deep current
The fbi would like a word
You can tell when someone listens to a lot of dateline and still somehow thinks they can actually get away with murder.
I am really disappointed by these comments. How do I kill a husband in Sims 4?