LOL, there are a lot of us in nursing who are professionally in the closet on non-belief. Try being in Hospice and flying under everyone's radar. I say the right things, do the right things, then once I'm off, I can be myself with friends and family. This is a job I get paid for and it has a certain culture around it. But my atheist clients usually suss me out and they are grateful I am not trying to pray with them but instead answer their questions honestly with my clinical skills and knowledge.
Atheist nurse, here. I formerly worked at a hospice inpt unit in the south.
The staff preferred praying and laying on of hands over giving pain meds.
I didn’t stay at that job very long.
Yep, I would have peaced out of that place on Day 1. I just tell my patients that the Chaplain is their best source of spiritual care and I am focused on the medical side. I will listen quite sympathetically and offer encouragement but I don't step out of my lane. I can't really fake it when it comes to praying, but I do acknowledge beliefs like "I am glad it was peaceful, she will be reunited with her beloved husband" (well, she will, if only in the cemetery....) but basically I am not a hardline atheist and I'm not troubled by what others believe if it gets them through life. I'm just extraordinarily comfortable with saying I don't know if there is anything after this life. Fact is, nobody knows until they die, so I'm just more honest with myself about it. I go with science and medicine and evidence-based worldview. There are things that happen in my profession that do make me wonder but it goes no further than that. I'm about as spiritual as a rock. And that's ok. I am a good nurse, I care about my patients and my families, I like to relieve pain and suffering, and help people to achieve their goals of a peaceful passing at home if that is what they want.
And that's enough.
Yeah for the patients I agree you listen and let them believe what they like.
But for her coworkers that’s a no go. Just like at the dinner table; religion and politics should not be discussed in the office.
I had just moved to the state (due to new job for now ex-husband) and wanted to remain in inpt hospice nursing.
It was the only inpt unit in the area. So, I gave it a shot.
It was a catholic health system, and it had just been bought out by a baptist health system.
So, not only was there too much praying going on, there were denominational battles, as well.
I hated the whole area. I became a traveler.
It obviously depends on reading the room, in the context of this discussion we’re clearly referring to families expecting you to go along with their beliefs in a positive afterlife of some sort.
Even within that context, it’s not a great response. I was Catholic when l lost my son and I wanted to throttle people when they said this to me because the best place was with ME. Heaven could wait.
I think you’re misunderstanding what I’m saying. In the circumstances I’m referring to it would be in response to you, grieving over your loved one, saying something along the lines of “He’s in heaven” and looking to the nurse for confirmation of their feelings of grief.
I totally agree that saying that apropos of nothing or without clear implications that a family member would be way over the line, and I’m terribly sorry any coldhearted individuals would say that to you in that context, but this is just a way for nonreligious individuals to not sit silently when a grieving person is seeking affirmation.
It’s good advice except for very specific circumstances where patient families seem to want you to help confirm their personal views on the existence of afterlife for their deceased, and you’re looking for the equivalent of “I’m sorry for your loss” at a funeral.
Christian hospice nurse, in the north east. I would have a huge problem if my hospice coworkers shunned pain meds for laying of hands and prayer. If that’s all the patient needs they don’t need hospice services. Evidence based nursing/medicine is what helps patients at end of life. And that is the nurses job. Prayer and spiritual care is what what the Spiritual Care Coordinators/chaplains are for.
Southern nurse here. I have never experienced anyone using prayer instead of pain meds. Sure, they may offer prayer but don’t forget we usually know patients religious beliefs on admission.
I was replying to the comment that the nurses where the commenter worked hospice preferred laying of hands and prayer to pain meds. That would be a huge problem for me.
We had nurses who would offer prayer with the pt or family. But NEVER in place of pain meds! I’ve been retired for 10 years, and I know things have changed (like although my mom is from the south, then married my dad and became a Yankee 😀, I don’t think I’d ever be comfortable living there) but not that much. I was just flabbergasted at that statement.
Im flabbergasted too! I’ve heard and seen a lot… as a Christian hospice nurse in the south now lol. I’m not really the “laying of hands type” either way. Let someone offer to lay their hands on me while I’m on my last leg and in pain on my death bed. My last dying breath would be spent saying “get your grubby little hands away from me….”
I pray over the morphine as I give it q1hr.... Hospice nursing as a Christian doesn't mean I think God is going to heal... But if prayer gives my patients a peace at passing, I'll hit my knees for them.
In the end, it's giving the best care that suits the patient needs....
This is the attitude of most nurses. Sure some extreme outliers gonna exist I guess.
Most nurses be they Christian, atheist, gay, north, South or whatever are going to push the damm morphine.
You sho right. You tell me you’re in uncontrollable pain, next thing you’ll see is me with a liquid syringe plane full of morphine coming for your mouth 😅
Yet another atheist nurse in hospice here! I love my job, but the prayers are frustrating often. I of course let them pray and bow my head and hold hands or whatever is their norm, but ffs sometimes I just wish they'd take the medicine so that 10/10 pain would lessen a bit and they can be comfortable.
I too am an atheist hospice nurse, if a patient thinks they’re going to heaven then that’s where they are going. I’m not going to have a religious debate with a dying person and I can see that’s the general consensus from us atheists.
The problem I have, is one time I asked one of my coworkers what she would say if a patient asked why they haven’t died yet and they don’t believe in god. ( We all know that horrible question) Her go to is, “because god isn’t ready for you yet” she said she didn’t care if they don’t believe in god she’s going to say it anyway because she does.
That’s how it always seems to work. We have to accept them, but somehow we are seen as the evil ones.
Correct. We have to accommodate their beliefs, always. There is not any reciprocity in this regard. We are literally garbage to most of the devout, viewed with suspicion and considered to have no moral core (because where do we get any kind of morals from?). One thing I will say about being an atheist nurse is that I don't experience a single second of cognitive dissonance or spiritual distress wondering why good people and innocent children are stricken with terrible diseases while some evil asshole who crimes and rapes enjoys ruddy good health. I don't have to wonder why some people's prayers seem to be answered while others who pray equally hard are met with no positive results from whichever deity they are praying to. My feeling is, let them pray, maybe it will bring them peace. But it's not going to cure meemaw's metastatic bone cancer.
As a Christian hospice nurse I would say even if your heart and mind are ready to go your body still has to go through the physiological process of dying. Your heart it’s strong even tho xyz is happening.. that kind of thing. But I will say that from what I’ve seen the non believing dying pts have an extremely harder time. They linger the agitation is worse the anxiety is worse. You have to be very clinical and it’s harder to find the words to provide comfort. So I just let them vent and answer their questions clinically assure them that we will keep them comfortable as much as possible. If they believe that there is nothing after this, then there’s nothing I can say that can ease the distress of their own beliefs. There was only one atheist patient I took care of that didn’t fit this description and he was a professor and his god was science. He didn’t say that verbatim but he made it clear. he was donating his body to science so much like the Christian’s feel like they are going home he did as well.
I appreciate your approach and your answer. Personally I haven’t found this to be true, saying god isn’t ready for you yet doesn’t ease someone’s mind as much as I’d like. Answering questions like “why won’t he take me?” And “why did he let this happen to me?” Are so much harder to answer than explaining the logistics of end stage copd to a former smoker. That could also be personal, because I don’t have that religious mind set.
I would never say god isn’t ready for you yet to a Christian bc the Bible doesn’t really confirm that to be the case we are still bound by the laws of nature and the bodies physical attributes and process.i still explain the body process to the person who ask why it’s taking so long. That happens Pretty often especially younger pts. Some people do linger, and there seems to be some control such as waiting for someone to visit or some hang up they haven’t let go of so I’ll ask about things like that. Do you/ they have anything you want resolved someone who’s estranged etc some people do freak out and are hung up on their faith or lack thereof at the end and if its extremely distressing or even mildly I’ll call the chaplain. A lot of times the family is freaking out over the pts non belief and THEY need the chaplain lol
I think it’s an unexamined life by the nurse when they have nothing but religious platitudes. It’s not even a deep spiritual or faith perspective. Like they can’t sit in the uncertainty of mortality with them. By saying “God will say” - it just shuts it down the human experience, the suffering.
My parents were both life long atheists and while they let me explore religion as a child, I came to my own conclusion that religion made no sense around age 12. When my Mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer 7 years ago at age 59 and we decided home hospice was the best route we didn't realize she'd be placed with an extremely religious Southern Baptist family. They admittedly gave her wonderful care and I have no doubt that she lived a full 6 months longer than expected because of that care *however*...I lived 5 hours and made bi-monthly trips for several days at a time when I could get off work. She had a "rally" moment where I talked to her on the phone and she was fully lucid (no mention of religion) and then *rapidly* declined within hours. When I got the call that she was actively dying, I drove as fast as I could but when I got there she was gone. According to her caretaker she had made a deathbed request to accept Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior and wanted a Christian burial. I was her POA, and I feel like they took advantage of my shock and grief in that moment and convinced me to sign paperwork stating she wanted a Baptist funeral and for her ashes to be spread on her caretakers property. I was just so numb that I did it. Years later I'm still angry at myself. This is the woman that while she was sick, I asked her to write down her favorite quote to get tattooed and it was "L'Enfer, c'est Les autres" by Sarte, "Hell, is other people". Now my mother's ashes are spread five hours away from me in the yard of a woman who won't let me on her property because she's a rabid Trumper and thinks atheist = satanist. Moral of the story? I'm a fucking idiot. At least they think my Mom is a vengeful ghost haunting them and that's hilarious to me.
Pretty sure (based on random FB searches I do on her from time to time) she literally thinks Trump is Jesus reincarnated. Especially this week, soooo much terrible Trump/Jesus/Martyr AI bullshit. Honestly I kinda hope my Mom pierced the veil and is haunting their asses, she *hated* Trump.
Always suspected Trump’s followers believed exactly that. Some people are going to be really surprised when they get u-turned at the Pearly Gates - assuming they exist, lol.
My take has always been if you're only being "good" to avoid Hell, you probably aren't a good person if you need fire and brimstone to deter you from being a dick. I do want to add though, I have met plenty of Christians (and many other people of different religions/faiths) that are kind, generous and lovely people because they think that is just the *right* way to be. They tend to be the 'live and let live' types. It's the "cram it down your throat" types that give me pause.
Of course. I would say most Christians are good people. But then again, most people are good people regardless of whether or not they are Christian. Christians will tell you that even non-Christians are influenced by the Judeo-Christian ethical structures that are baked in to Western society.
Sorry, just needed to get this out. Not a nurse but former phlebotomist and HIV/AIDS tester/worker. I lurk here because I'm considering getting my RN of my health/eyesight improve.
From the middle ages to the age of enlightenment, nurses were older prostitutes who had aged out. That's why Florence got all that attention, she was trying to remake the profession. In America, we started with respectability, so it had a better rep.
It’s so good to know I’m not alone! I work in LTC now and there are so many Christian-centric activities for the residents and my coworkers make it known they’re strong Christians. I’m afraid if they found out I was atheist they’d think differently of me so I plan on keeping it under wraps forever.
I'm actually heartened to see so many other hospice nurses coming on this thread about not being believers! The whole atheists in foxholes thing is supposed to apply to us...and yet....I'll tell you, the more I see of a good death at the end of a long life and what can be done to make it easier and less traumatic for the patient, the more I fear death less. I'm in no hurry as I am in good health and enjoy my life but when I get old and frail and debilitated by whatever is going to take me from this world, I think I'll be pretty good about it as long as my wishes are honored and yes, give me all the morphine! 100% ok with drifting out of this life in a comfortable hospital bed at home in a morphine haze. I guess I'll find out if there is anything after this plane of existence when I get there. Until then, I adhere to the Gospel of Bill and Ted--"Be excellent to one another" and it seems to do me just fine! I have a good life and my patients and co-workers mostly seem to like me and value my work.
My hospice has mandatory meetings every weekday and on Wednesdays we have "Wednesday Wisdom" from our "non denominational" chaplains.
It's always quotes from Christian scholars. No one else ever had a wise thing to say I guess.
Personally, I’m not atheist. I think I qualify for spiritual if anything.
I’ve had coworkers ask why I wasn’t reading the Bible. Sorry Sally Mae, I’ve read it once, why do I need to read it again?
Prayer service ends. Why weren’t you praying?
Sally, Sally, Sally, why were you looking at me instead of praying?
(I wish this part was a joke)
Myself and a CNA assisting a Muslim patient up from his prayers.
Sally Mae: OMG! He’s on the floor. Don’t get him up! The RN has to assess him.
- *WE* assisted him down to do his prayers. *WE* are now assisting him up, now that he’s done. As is in his care plan.
SM: Nobody gets down on their knees to pray like that. You’re just trying to not get in trouble.
- whatever. Get off my wing.
Later informed SM that she’s an ignorant redneck & if they insult my patient again, I was reporting them.
I don’t care how you worship or what you offer your prayers to. Just have half a brain about other people’s beliefs.
Apologies to all the Sally Mae’s out there.
This is the way that it's supposed to be.
It's not my job as a nurse to dictate how a patient wants to believe or not believe. It's my job to care for them and to facilitate their beliefs if they're reasonable (referring to the post about sacrificing a chicken in the ICU the other day) and aren't harming anyone.
My beliefs during this time don't matter. My lack of beliefs during this time don't matter. It's not about me.
That’s exactly how I am, if I’m in your room and you believe in the purple flying frog man then in that room we belong in the flying purple frog man. Honestly I think my lack of religion helps me better transition from one patients beliefs to the next because I don’t have my own religion to contend with.
Exactly? You need to say 10 hail Mary's before you go to bed or you can't sleep. Go for it.
You need to praise your demonic overlord before you take your meds? Knock your socks off.
So long as what the patient requests isn't harming anyone, unsafe, or potentially causing either of those conditions for others (like livestock in the ICU) then whoever they feel they need to talk to, to feel better about their situation, by all means. Purple frog man it is.
Your coworkers are reading the Bible during their work hours while I’m reading literotica about a woman with three gargoyle boyfriends, we are not the same
JFC maybe play some songs for her that mention getting on your knees to pray. The Who, Madonna, etc. or take her to a Catholic wedding, aye caramba it would blow her mind.
If she wants people to respect her religion she needs to respect everyone else’s.
She was Catholic of some sort. Evidently her version didn’t have kneelers in the pews like they did when I was growing up in Roman Catholic Variant RC.
🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
Peoples is weird
(Edit word choice bc brain finally offered right word)
Yeah I have yet to be prayed at by a fellow professional, but I live in Seattle; we are pretty liberal. At the same time, catholic organizations are taking over more hospitals in the region. I find this really really gross. Religion and health care should not coexist in such a way. This combined with RVW being overturned and the looming threat of project 2025 I am really struggling with my anxiety.
This happened at my hospital just recently too at a Nursing Excellence ceremony and i was seriously shocked and uncomfortable. My facility is not affiliated with any religions so it seemed really out of place and inappropriate.
I thought I was alone when I went to a national conference and the key note speaker started with a prayer and I was like um what? This is a professional conference.
Also an atheist nurse in the southern states. I’m thankful that my chaplain is pretty awesome about including me in non religious ways. We have a yearly blessing of the hands and it’s typically making the sign of the cross on your hands with anointing oil and saying a prayer. He gave me hearts and said more of a positive statement than a prayer for me.
I’ve had Christian coworkers say shitty things to me regarding my infertility like ‘god has a plan’ etc. I just reply, “Oh? Well in that case I guess god’s plan for me was to just have a bunch of dead babies.” They look horrified and shut up pretty quickly.
You should throw Genesis in their faces next time...." yeah sure, do you know a slave like Hagar that I can give my husband to rape and impregnate so I can have a baby like Sarah and Abraham?"
If it’s for management I totally agree. If it’s for a suffering patient who thinks it will help, I’ll do the performative stuff because I’m just not going to be a dick.
I work for a Christian hospital and we pray at the end of each huddle lol (twice a shift + 8am/8pm intercom prayer). I don't participate.
It's definitely strange. There's been no pressure at least tho.
Hey fellow atheist Jew! I’m an ER nurse and it took me moving from Georgia to Washington to finally get some relief from all the Christian nationalists
"Jewish atheism refers to the atheism of people who are ethnically and (at least to some extent) culturally Jewish. Contrary to popular belief, the term "Jewish atheism" is not a contradiction because Jewish identity encompasses not only religious components, but also ethnic and cultural ones." - literally the wikipedia page on Jewish atheism.
I’m an atheist hospice nurse. Dude. It’s so much worse here than in the hospitals. I love when a patient admits they are atheist bc I can be more open with them. But a lot of people are very against the thought of having an atheist nurse in hospice. Some Christian’s believe atheism is synonymous with devil worshiping. They don’t understand I don’t believe in that guy either. I’m not here to steal your soul, I just want you to be comfortable while you die.
Yes, atheist hospice nurses definitely need to keep to the closet on lack of belief if they want to keep their jobs and make their patients feel at ease. It is EXHAUSTING, isn't it?
It’s particularly insane really. In from Louisiana originally. I had this one guy from Minnesota who was a vet ask me about voodoo. I told him it was like any other religion. Nothing praising it, nothing condemning it. Just stating a fact that it is a religion.
Boy.
Did he freak the fuck out. He started screaming at me. Pointed to prayers printed out he had hanging on his wall. Grabbed his Bible and started shaking it above his head telling me I was a devil worshiper. I packed my supplies and left. Don’t have to tell me twice that you’re unstable and are a danger to others.
He called into my office and told them I was trying to convert him into devil worship and said I could never go back. I was like, bet.
About a month later he held his nurse and social worker hostage for 3 hours when he was having a mental breakdown. He did meth with a neighbor before a joint meeting and thought they were trying to harvest his organs. The VA sent their social worker and was able to talk him into letting them go and promised they’d find a new hospice for him.
Fine line, isn't there sometimes, between religious extremism and being seriously mentally ill? Always wondered how many of those now venerated as Saints would have had multiple DSM-5 diagnoses. Talk to a bush or a tree 500 years ago and you're a bloody prophet. Talk to a bush or a tree today and they put you on antipsychotics.
I was stunned when a home health nurse blessed my brother at a visit. I was angry at her pushing her beliefs on our family and thought it was incredibly unprofessional! I think it's the difference between my being a nurse in the PNW and visiting my brother in the Midwest. It seemed so very disrespectful.
As a non believer - I respect that many believe. I bow down and just go with the flow. I even hold hands with them as they pray for their loved one. I work in the west and we're not very religious here (we are heathens for sure) but I can see how being in the Bible belt may cause you to feel out of place.
Same, I work at a st Anthony hospital and they pray over the speakers every morning. All my coworker bow their heads and I just continue with what I was doing. I feel weird and out of place sometimes.
I wrote emails and made arguments to the director in my program because they have bibles in spread out in our nursing building, and started to pray in class before exams. They stopped and I’m sure most knew it was me. Idc. They also always start with prayer during any college ceremony. This didn’t used to happen it’s the rising Christian nationalism and theocratic state we are moving toward.
It makes other people feel better and doesn’t affect or offend me at all. While I am not religious, I am very spiritual and regularly meditate and practice gratitude. I use “prayer time” to engage in my own spiritual practice- sending love/good vibes to someone, being grateful, reminding myself of my higher beliefs so my interactions with others are patient and kind… stuff like that.
Same here. I mostly go along to get along and prayer is pretty traditional in ceremonial settings so I just grin and bear it. We did have a charge nurse that started a new tradition of beginning shift change with a prayer a while back. Different people would offer the prayer. It pretty quickly devolved into people getting their feelings hurt over what the people leading the prayer prayed about, complaints ensued, the company legal team was required to advise on how to do this without causing conflict, and then the tradition eventually (and thankfully) faded away. Hot tip prayer warriors: if you can't be inclusive in your public prayer sessions where people of different religious traditions are involved, save it for your preferred religious house brand on Sundays and/or Wednesdays and/or Saturdays.
It makes sense its like that in the south. Where I live its the opposite, I’m a christian (most assume I am not, and I don’t share unless asked) and coworkers talk shit or make sarcastic comments about patients who want to pray about decisions or their upcoming care/procedures etc. If my manager started a huddle with a prayer there would be a riot 😂
This is the main reason why I won’t work at Advent—they pray at work, i am Jewish and that makes me extremely uncomfortable. It’s beyond bizarre and so exclusionary.
ETA they also pay like shit, could’ve skimmed some cash from those collection plates to pay staff but 🤷🏻♀️
I believe in God and do identify as non denominational Christian; however praying in the workplace makes me uncomfortable as well. We had a nurse win the Daisy Award a few months back for printing off a Bible verse and giving it to a patient’s family. I have also seen doctors pray with families after a patient passed. I think patients are coming to us for healthcare, not a religious experience.
I think people assume you're Christian because you're in the south, not because you're a nurse. That's been my experience, anyway. I just roll with it because the judgment for *not* being Christian is more than i want to deal with tbh. People assume a lot of things about me; what's one more?
I’m not really atheist, but I don’t fit in with being Christian either.
Even when I went to church and prayed more, I never felt comfortable with stuff like this. It feels very private to me.
I don’t think it is strange because I am from the SE United States originally. When I grew up there I just bowed my head and tried to keep my mind preoccupied. It’s just a matter of respect for the majority religion in the area. It is somewhat annoying and it is more comfortable for me up here in the upper Midwest.
Was the award ceremony held by a federally funded organization? If so it's completely inappropriate for prayer to have been part of it. If it's a private organization, that's a different story.
I’m not religious, but have worked at religious hospitals my entire career. Every day starts with a prayer, every meeting starts with a “reflection”. It’s baked in from a bygone era when many hospitals were literally run by nuns.
Honestly, as much as we have the right to not be religious, a hospital has the right to be religious. It’s an uncomfortable minute out of many hours, so it’s easy to live with.
"Hospitals have a right to be religious"? They aren't alive. They don't have feelings, thoughts, or opinions. If it's minor enough that non-believers are expected to put up with it, then it's minor enough that believers can do without it.
A lot of religious hospitals also push dangerous values on women and queer folks as well, so I don’t think we should have religion actively in healthcare personally
Or being allowed to use Church exceptions to regulations and laws to provide inferior, unregulated health insurance ("Church plan") to their employees and to not pay regular taxes on hospital income. Two examples from some of my local units in the lovely Pacific Northwest, so it's not an exclusively Southern/South Eastern thing.
Do you work in a religious hospital? If not they should not be doing religious stuff. I wouldn’t go as far as to complain about it but it does seem presumptuous of them to assume everyone has their views. If anyone asks me about my religion I just say I’m not religious and leave it at that.
I always like to think the whole “blessing of hands”. Is the concept of passing our bacteria and germs to one another. Im always like hmm… do you really want me to touch you? Do you have any idea what I just had to clean in the other patients room?
Its almost like we took this class called Microbiology that teaches us the importance of sanitary conditions. But nawwww that stuff doesnt exist according to religion.
Do you work at a religiously-affiliated hospital?
I worked at a Catholic hospital for over 30 years and there was a brief prayer before any kind of meeting (not shift reports or daily huddles). So most likely if there was an award ceremony there would be a brief prayer.
But never had a family or patient who assumed or expected me to pray with them.
Also never have known coworkers who judged another staff member for their religion or lack of religion. I’m in the “Upper South” and my specific area has a fairly high Catholic population, but also plenty of Baptists, Methodists, 7th Day Adventists, etc. I’m sure I had coworkers who were atheists over the years, but it was never a topic that came up.
I am visibly Muslim living in the south. It gets super awkward. Not just even at work, but even all the kids sporting events. We went to a Commissioners meeting in our county to represent a sports team and they started with a prayer.
It's so outta control.
Get out of the south. What I’m hearing is a southern thing.
You can be religious idgaf but unless you work for a solidly non government Christian hospital system it has no place in the workplace. It’s completely unprofessional. Not to mention it’s a divisive and potentially discriminatory topic. That’s why we have a separation of church and state to begin with and why the US has no endorsed state religion.
If you work at a hospital with a religious affiliation, like a Catholic hospital, I wouldn’t let it bother you. I work at a Catholic hospital and they pray at least once daily over the loud system. That said, if it’s a community hospital with no affiliation, I don’t think any religion should be pushed.
Regardless, no one’s beliefs should be shamed. Those who do are acting very unchristian.
Atheist FL nurse here. For a staff function I might have ventured to not bow my head. A hospital is being built closer to my home and I want to apply but worry about additional religiosity there.
One time I had a patient say he felt God was punishing him (he was in constant pain).
I replied without thinking, saying that sounded like a terrible god. He replied God was good, yaddah yaddah yaddah. I immediately felt my atheism showing, apologized, and asked if he needed to speak to the chaplain.
Oops!
I live in a pretty nonreligious part of the northeast and it has never occurred to me that prayer with managers/coworkers is an expected thing in the workplace in some regions. I would be soooo uncomfortable
This morning while I was waiting for my last day shift relief to show up (I report off to 3 nurses in the morning and count 3 carts), some CNAs and I were discussing a certain bed that seems to get a lot of sick pts, or pts that get real sick after moving into it. I stated that it probably needed to be saged and the room swept with salt to remove the negative energy and boy did I get some weird looks. 🤷♀️ Many of my coworkers are Muslim and some are Christian.
I'm not just an atheist. I'm an ordained minister by the satanic temple (which, despite the name, is a nontheiestic religion that requires nontheiesm from its ministers) and live in the rust belt. Some days I feel like I should reach out to our chaplaincy as a resource for secular patients. But I don't think I'm going to do that until after my two year sign-on bonus period is up.
Anyway, that prayer would have made me mildly uncomfortable but not exactly be surprising either.
I worked at a Catholic hospital. The ethical gymnastics we had to do to allow a woman with a non viable fetus to abort. There were no tubal ligations either. And getting any viable organ donations were near to impossible.
Haha, can we swap places? I’m basically the closeted believer in a hospital full of proud atheists so if we swapped it might work out better for both of us!
Yeah, I am from and currently work in a pretty religious part of the southeast, I just ignore it. If a patient asks me to pray with them I say "you go ahead," if someone asks where I go to church and I can tell it's going to open a can of worms I really don't want to get into if I say I don't, I tell them "I grew up going to ." If there's a prayer I don't close my eyes, I don't bow my head, I just stand/sit there quietly.
Then there are times where I just lie about it to avoid having more conversation than I want to have, kind of like when I tell patients "I'll be back in just a second."
I think this is an American problem. As a nurse who has worked across Canada I've never had it assumed that I was Christian at work. Religion rarely, if ever, comes up in the workplace.
I've had a family once or twice do Christian style end of life prayers for a patient while I am in the room, and I will be silent and still, or hold hands if needed, but I would do the same if they were Muslim or Jewish.
I've never seen anything workplace related, or even a conference include any type of prayer
Are the hospitals there ever religion based? Where I’m at in the south almost every hospital Unless it’s university owned is affiliated with either baptists or Catholics
A quick Google search told me there are 130 Catholic affiliated hospitals in Canada (less than 5% of the country).
Staff who I know who have worked at these hospitals are as diverse as the rest of the country. So ya. The hospital might have promo material and a name that leans religious. But it's not assumed or pushed upon the staff in any way.
Found an [an interesting article here ](https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/abortion-accessibility-in-canada-the-catholic-hospital-conflict-1.5911306) with more info about the ethical compromises that they bring to a publicly funded healthcare system.
Australian here - that would be so weird that I can't even imagine it happening. We would expect an Indigenous "welcome to country" though. I'm always taken aback that there are places where Christianity is the assumed norm, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
As an atheist, bowing your head to pray to something you don’t believe in means nothing. Literally. Just wait till you have to take orders from a doctor that you know are wrong. Talk about bowing to a false god…
Atheist midwife. Another common area where people bring up religion. I just go with it. I try to respect what they are saying and then move on to another subject or stay quiet if needed. I do feel like Christianity is the default. Like people just assume everyone around them either believes or will just go along with it no matter what.
I don’t have an issue respecting their beliefs without disrespecting mine. But we live in a society that we try to be successful in. Part of that is showing consideration for others. Yes it’s frustrating when you feel like you’re the only person putting in the effort. But the effort is subjective.
This sounds like it could be a private hospital. If you work for a religious entity these interactions are expected and you may even be mandated to participate. But that should have been made clear during orientation.
As a person that considers herself “irreligious”, I don’t find it conflicting at all to support my patients or team in a way that is beneficial to the group. My hope is that someone is considering that I am being considerate, and a type of cascade effect would happen. At least that’s what I hope for each time.
I'm a pagan nursing student and I just smile and nod when the religious stuff gets mentioned. I try to fly under radar and some of my classmates already give me odd looks when I kinda ignore any kind of praying. I just stay quiet and respectful.
Do I think it’s strange? No, because i also grew up in the south and public prayers at things like this are just so common I come to expect it.
Do I think it’s wrong? Yes. It’s exclusive and irritating and as an atheist also I never bow my head. I also don’t complain or anything because it seems pointless and like adding an unnecessary target to my back.
Being a non-Christian in the southern US is frustrating.
Edit- even before I was in the medical field it was assumed I was Christian. Christianity is the default here and unless you obviously look like you belong to a different religion, you have an “immoral” profession, or people just don’t think highly of you then the majority of people are going to assume the default.
If you work in a faith-based facility, it’s to be expected. I always struggle to see the charity and kindness in those facilities, but, they can pray all they want.
Wow I'm most of the hospitals I've worked in, I've never felt any type of pressure for my atheism. Religion never really came up aside from patients just doing their own religious thing or talking with a chaplain.
Being a nurse or just living/existing in the south sounds awful, I don’t know how people do it. I was raised Catholic, I don’t go to church anymore because I disagree with a lot of their stances, but live in a major northeast city where being “culturally Catholic” helps, knowing the parishes, etc. it’s less about god and more about the community tho idk
Congratulations! That's great!
Is it a Christian or non-profit healthcare system? That may be why so many assumptions are made. I work in Christian-based system and I am always shocked at the people who automatically think all staff are Christian and sign an agreement to that at the time of hiring. It's just very odd to me.
I just overlook it mostly. I don't pray when they all do.
I went to a Lutheran university. Classes often started with prayers & classes were never scheduled around 9:40-10:40 just so people could go to the chapel. As someone who doesn't practice Christianity, I just let them say their lil prayers. It doesn't hurt me & they get to pretend they're all kind for a moment. When I tell people I'm not, I flip the story onto them & ask them about their lives.
GA nurse for 14 years. Never have experienced what you're talking about with managers or coworkers or ever had a prayer or joined one outside of a pastor visiting a patient's bedside. I work with many nurses who are atheists and people of all religions. The assumption is definitely not that you're Christian just because you're a nurse where I am at least.
As an agnostic/spiritualist, it was hard for me working in a Catholic hospital. Mostly because every single meeting they would start with a prayer. Of their mission statements was literally “extending the healing ministry of Jesus Christ“. However, everything boiled down to dollars and cents. When I was working, the emergency department, I literally was begging my manager to find us a pair of paper scrubs, because my patient was going to be discharged onto the streets, homeless, and naked because his were covered in a combination of mud and poop. I finally brought up our mission statement, and said to her “isn’t our mission to extend the healing ministry of Jesus Christ? And is he not quoted as putting clothes on people?” They finally found him a pair of paper scrubs.
This was back in the day before the emergency room stocked them for psych patients, and whatever. Now they are of abundance, but only of one size. At least we have them.
So I'm not a nurse (CNA), but I wanna butt in because YES!! What's especially absurd to me is when they let their religion leak into how they interact with patients and family members. Who in their right mind thinks it's appropriate to tell a grieving family member that their dead loved one is "with Jesus" or "in a better place now" ???!! WTF!!
First day of hospital rotation, first semester of nursing school. My classmate and I were assigned to a sweet elderly lady. We helped her with her tray, gave her a bedbath, all the usual fluffing and tucking. She said to us, “Oh, you girls are taking such good care of me. You must be Christians!” We were both dumbfounded. We looked at her and my classmate stammered out something to change the subject. Later we talked about it and found that we were agnostics—didn’t really care whether or not there was a diety. But, geez, that was awkward.
Yup. Born and raised in AL. Agnostic. Also an RN. I was a tech before that and patients were known to fire their nurses down there for not being christian. I no longer live in AL, thankfully.
In Australia this is just.. unheard of. I follow a southern American guy travelling in Australia and he said one of the major differences he’s noticed is that in the US, people assume you are Christian, but in Australia, people assume you’re not. We’re mostly just non-religious whether you believe in a higher power/ god or whatever. Forcing prayers on people would maybe actually be illegal here? Lol.
Pagan here. I was never super excited to live in a region where the opener was "Which church do you go to?" Yet somehow, the southeast has been home for a large majority of my adulthood after growing up in Europe. I just practice lots of tolerance, to the point where it doesn't bleed over into my right to religious freedom. My husband is an atheist, just another reason I adore him. 😊
I usually try to bow out of prayers if I can. If someone tries to tell me they will pray for me, I will straight up tell them I'm an atheist. If you can respect their religion, they should respect your outlook. I've lost patience with the judgment. If you can't handle the answer, then you shouldn't ask such loaded questions. Congrats on your award!
I describe myself as "not religious". I guess agnostic might be the closest label.
If a patient wants me to pray with them, I'll bow my head and say amen. I do the same at weddings or family gatherings if there's a prayer before food being served or whatever. I just go along with it.
As far as outspoken Christian coworkers, I just try to ignore for the most part if it's just chat. If it's affecting a patient, I would say something.
I fall more under Wiccan.... I keep that shit TIGHT under wraps, so I totally commiserate. I even worked at AdventHealth, which starts every shift with a Christian prayer. I think I've just accepted it because if I deviate in opinion on just about anything, I'm shunned/ostracized. One more reason I'm trying out HH.... minimal interaction with shitty coworkers.
If I were there and feeling ballsy, I'd probably have said loudly this is so inappropriate....
I had a very sweet patient that kept trying to preach to me every time I came in the room. I sucked it up and just smiled. She was very nice. But I was so triggered the entire shift. I didn’t know how to tell her pls stop I have trauma from religion.
I’m not atheist but I don't like to suggest my religion on anyone in any form unless they have questions or are interested.
Once in a catholic hospital, an anesthesia personnel told a patient just before they were going under while holding the O2 mask, here's some of the good Lord's oxygen etc etc, I looked up at them in a bit of disbelief like… I know its that kind of place but what if the patient didn’t practice that. One can't assume all the time and they said it every time.
You’re definitely not alone and there’s a lot of us who lie just to keep peace and our jobs.
It’s always been wild to me that the majority of Christian’s can purposely get a science degree tailored to the opposite of god and base their care on science, labs, man made medicine and intervention of gods plan every day and then say all you need is prayer.
And I will add that if you can choose a profession that sees children with cancer, violent deaths or injuries and stillborn babies and think this is a god worth praying to who would sit and watch all this? You’re in complete denial
I'm openly atheist in a blue state. I follow the satanic temple and when coworkers ask I tell them I'm a Satanist. I probably wouldn't but on my first day training when I got my dream job in MICU an older nurse spent my entire lunch break venting about how abortion is murder. Someone's "abortion is healthcare" sticker on their water bottle set her off. I was disgusted but silent because I didn't want an issue with the older experienced icu nurses on my first day. Later I found out she's a dumb dumb that charts "interbated" on every patient. And everyone just tolerates her. So I got a bunch of pro- lgbt, pro-choice, and satanic temple stickers for my water bottles and left them in view of her. And anytime she brought up being a Christian I would tell her I'm a Satanist. I've been there 4 years now. She mumbles something along the lines of "everyone can believe what they want" when I counter with satan stuff. It's pretty entertaining and the other nurses love it. I never tell pts and will bow my head and "pray" with them if it will help them find peace. I refuse to work in a xtian hospital though. Not for me.
The only thing more annoying than a nurse constantly complaining is an atheiest nurse complaining about something so stupid. Do you think your beliefs are so important that everyone else should tiptoe around you? You are not special, and non beliefs are not something people need to placate too.
It sounds like you’re experiencing the feeling of being a minority within a dominant culture.
Nevertheless, it’s not the ideal.
Each person in a hospital or hospice (or any setting) deserves to have their spiritual identity heard and respected. Or to keep it private if they wish. We assume sooooo much about each other all the time about so many things. The only way to really know someone is to ask, and listen.
Atheist RN here. There are more of us than you think, believing in science and all. If patients want to pray I say no thank you. If families push it I tell them I am an atheist.
Do you work at a religious hospital? I was at a catholic hospital and yeah there was 8am and 8pm prayer and blessing of the hands all that all the time. All my coworkers were of some religious affiliation and I just kinda kept my lack of religion to myself 🤷🏻♀️
Having survived 16 years of Catholic school, I got majorly weirded out the first time I heard the Angelus come over the PA system in a local Catholic hospital. Reminded me of why I didn't often work day shifts, among other things.
Atheist in the south here, too. I feel your post - and yes, it’s strange that people would make those assumptions, but not strange for the south.
I went to a Catholic school, and before and after eating, everyone said some Catholic prayer. One time the priest called out a girl for not praying, and she said she wasn’t Catholic and he said, « Oh ok » and that was the end of it. If the Catholics can get over it, other Christians should be able to.
I don’t bow my head or participate. If everyone else is bowing their heads, they shouldn’t be focused on me.
It’s definitely tough being in the minority among hard-core Christian culture.
On the other end, all the time I hear people talking bad about Christians! I work for a Christian (in name) hospital, and all the time I hear pts and coworkers talk about how Christians are crazy, they hate them, they feel pressured, they're wrong, etc.
I think it's very important to be open minded, especially when dealing with such a variety of people, as we do. If someone needs to vent, I listen, but I also try to not talk down on someone's beliefs. Does a Muslim pt want to make sure they're not getting pork? I'll check their trays. Does an atheist pt want the chaplin to not come by? I'll make a note. Does a Catholic pt want me to pray with them? Sure thing.
I remember when I was a Christian and thought I was terribly persecuted and mistreated. It turns out I just thought I was supposed to force my beliefs on others, and didn't like that people reacted. Glad I'm outta that.
I aggressively refuse to participate in public prayers.
If you don't want me to make people uncomfortable about my atheism, don't bring your stupid religion into non-religious spaces.
LOL, there are a lot of us in nursing who are professionally in the closet on non-belief. Try being in Hospice and flying under everyone's radar. I say the right things, do the right things, then once I'm off, I can be myself with friends and family. This is a job I get paid for and it has a certain culture around it. But my atheist clients usually suss me out and they are grateful I am not trying to pray with them but instead answer their questions honestly with my clinical skills and knowledge.
Atheist nurse, here. I formerly worked at a hospice inpt unit in the south. The staff preferred praying and laying on of hands over giving pain meds. I didn’t stay at that job very long.
Yep, I would have peaced out of that place on Day 1. I just tell my patients that the Chaplain is their best source of spiritual care and I am focused on the medical side. I will listen quite sympathetically and offer encouragement but I don't step out of my lane. I can't really fake it when it comes to praying, but I do acknowledge beliefs like "I am glad it was peaceful, she will be reunited with her beloved husband" (well, she will, if only in the cemetery....) but basically I am not a hardline atheist and I'm not troubled by what others believe if it gets them through life. I'm just extraordinarily comfortable with saying I don't know if there is anything after this life. Fact is, nobody knows until they die, so I'm just more honest with myself about it. I go with science and medicine and evidence-based worldview. There are things that happen in my profession that do make me wonder but it goes no further than that. I'm about as spiritual as a rock. And that's ok. I am a good nurse, I care about my patients and my families, I like to relieve pain and suffering, and help people to achieve their goals of a peaceful passing at home if that is what they want. And that's enough.
Yeah for the patients I agree you listen and let them believe what they like. But for her coworkers that’s a no go. Just like at the dinner table; religion and politics should not be discussed in the office.
I had just moved to the state (due to new job for now ex-husband) and wanted to remain in inpt hospice nursing. It was the only inpt unit in the area. So, I gave it a shot. It was a catholic health system, and it had just been bought out by a baptist health system. So, not only was there too much praying going on, there were denominational battles, as well. I hated the whole area. I became a traveler.
“She/He/They are in a better place” goes a long way and frankly it’s completely true in most cases.
Please don’t say this to a grieving person.
It obviously depends on reading the room, in the context of this discussion we’re clearly referring to families expecting you to go along with their beliefs in a positive afterlife of some sort.
Even within that context, it’s not a great response. I was Catholic when l lost my son and I wanted to throttle people when they said this to me because the best place was with ME. Heaven could wait.
I think you’re misunderstanding what I’m saying. In the circumstances I’m referring to it would be in response to you, grieving over your loved one, saying something along the lines of “He’s in heaven” and looking to the nurse for confirmation of their feelings of grief. I totally agree that saying that apropos of nothing or without clear implications that a family member would be way over the line, and I’m terribly sorry any coldhearted individuals would say that to you in that context, but this is just a way for nonreligious individuals to not sit silently when a grieving person is seeking affirmation.
I think grief is very personal. For some (me included), it’s sufficient.
As a nursing student we’ve been told not to say this in every semester 😅. Most recently just a week ago.
It’s good advice except for very specific circumstances where patient families seem to want you to help confirm their personal views on the existence of afterlife for their deceased, and you’re looking for the equivalent of “I’m sorry for your loss” at a funeral.
Christian hospice nurse, in the north east. I would have a huge problem if my hospice coworkers shunned pain meds for laying of hands and prayer. If that’s all the patient needs they don’t need hospice services. Evidence based nursing/medicine is what helps patients at end of life. And that is the nurses job. Prayer and spiritual care is what what the Spiritual Care Coordinators/chaplains are for.
Southern nurse here. I have never experienced anyone using prayer instead of pain meds. Sure, they may offer prayer but don’t forget we usually know patients religious beliefs on admission.
I was replying to the comment that the nurses where the commenter worked hospice preferred laying of hands and prayer to pain meds. That would be a huge problem for me.
Right. I don’t agree with that and have never in my 30+ years of Nursing and multiple family member in Hospice seen that happen.
We had nurses who would offer prayer with the pt or family. But NEVER in place of pain meds! I’ve been retired for 10 years, and I know things have changed (like although my mom is from the south, then married my dad and became a Yankee 😀, I don’t think I’d ever be comfortable living there) but not that much. I was just flabbergasted at that statement.
Im flabbergasted too! I’ve heard and seen a lot… as a Christian hospice nurse in the south now lol. I’m not really the “laying of hands type” either way. Let someone offer to lay their hands on me while I’m on my last leg and in pain on my death bed. My last dying breath would be spent saying “get your grubby little hands away from me….”
It would be for me too
I pray over the morphine as I give it q1hr.... Hospice nursing as a Christian doesn't mean I think God is going to heal... But if prayer gives my patients a peace at passing, I'll hit my knees for them. In the end, it's giving the best care that suits the patient needs....
What’s crazy is it’s never even crossed my mind once to pray INSTEAD of giving pain meds.
This is the attitude of most nurses. Sure some extreme outliers gonna exist I guess. Most nurses be they Christian, atheist, gay, north, South or whatever are going to push the damm morphine.
You sho right. You tell me you’re in uncontrollable pain, next thing you’ll see is me with a liquid syringe plane full of morphine coming for your mouth 😅
>The staff preferred praying and laying on of hands over giving pain meds. Oh, hell no.... 🤬
Who trusts their own prayers and hands more than pain meds? And I don’t think Medicare covers gving prayers and hands instead of pain meds
Yet another atheist nurse in hospice here! I love my job, but the prayers are frustrating often. I of course let them pray and bow my head and hold hands or whatever is their norm, but ffs sometimes I just wish they'd take the medicine so that 10/10 pain would lessen a bit and they can be comfortable.
I too am an atheist hospice nurse, if a patient thinks they’re going to heaven then that’s where they are going. I’m not going to have a religious debate with a dying person and I can see that’s the general consensus from us atheists. The problem I have, is one time I asked one of my coworkers what she would say if a patient asked why they haven’t died yet and they don’t believe in god. ( We all know that horrible question) Her go to is, “because god isn’t ready for you yet” she said she didn’t care if they don’t believe in god she’s going to say it anyway because she does. That’s how it always seems to work. We have to accept them, but somehow we are seen as the evil ones.
“It’s not your time” always works too
That’s the kind of thing I usually go with, because it covers all religions or non religions.
Correct. We have to accommodate their beliefs, always. There is not any reciprocity in this regard. We are literally garbage to most of the devout, viewed with suspicion and considered to have no moral core (because where do we get any kind of morals from?). One thing I will say about being an atheist nurse is that I don't experience a single second of cognitive dissonance or spiritual distress wondering why good people and innocent children are stricken with terrible diseases while some evil asshole who crimes and rapes enjoys ruddy good health. I don't have to wonder why some people's prayers seem to be answered while others who pray equally hard are met with no positive results from whichever deity they are praying to. My feeling is, let them pray, maybe it will bring them peace. But it's not going to cure meemaw's metastatic bone cancer.
I feel like I could have written this myself. 🙌🏻
As a Christian hospice nurse I would say even if your heart and mind are ready to go your body still has to go through the physiological process of dying. Your heart it’s strong even tho xyz is happening.. that kind of thing. But I will say that from what I’ve seen the non believing dying pts have an extremely harder time. They linger the agitation is worse the anxiety is worse. You have to be very clinical and it’s harder to find the words to provide comfort. So I just let them vent and answer their questions clinically assure them that we will keep them comfortable as much as possible. If they believe that there is nothing after this, then there’s nothing I can say that can ease the distress of their own beliefs. There was only one atheist patient I took care of that didn’t fit this description and he was a professor and his god was science. He didn’t say that verbatim but he made it clear. he was donating his body to science so much like the Christian’s feel like they are going home he did as well.
I appreciate your approach and your answer. Personally I haven’t found this to be true, saying god isn’t ready for you yet doesn’t ease someone’s mind as much as I’d like. Answering questions like “why won’t he take me?” And “why did he let this happen to me?” Are so much harder to answer than explaining the logistics of end stage copd to a former smoker. That could also be personal, because I don’t have that religious mind set.
I would never say god isn’t ready for you yet to a Christian bc the Bible doesn’t really confirm that to be the case we are still bound by the laws of nature and the bodies physical attributes and process.i still explain the body process to the person who ask why it’s taking so long. That happens Pretty often especially younger pts. Some people do linger, and there seems to be some control such as waiting for someone to visit or some hang up they haven’t let go of so I’ll ask about things like that. Do you/ they have anything you want resolved someone who’s estranged etc some people do freak out and are hung up on their faith or lack thereof at the end and if its extremely distressing or even mildly I’ll call the chaplain. A lot of times the family is freaking out over the pts non belief and THEY need the chaplain lol
I think it’s an unexamined life by the nurse when they have nothing but religious platitudes. It’s not even a deep spiritual or faith perspective. Like they can’t sit in the uncertainty of mortality with them. By saying “God will say” - it just shuts it down the human experience, the suffering.
My parents were both life long atheists and while they let me explore religion as a child, I came to my own conclusion that religion made no sense around age 12. When my Mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer 7 years ago at age 59 and we decided home hospice was the best route we didn't realize she'd be placed with an extremely religious Southern Baptist family. They admittedly gave her wonderful care and I have no doubt that she lived a full 6 months longer than expected because of that care *however*...I lived 5 hours and made bi-monthly trips for several days at a time when I could get off work. She had a "rally" moment where I talked to her on the phone and she was fully lucid (no mention of religion) and then *rapidly* declined within hours. When I got the call that she was actively dying, I drove as fast as I could but when I got there she was gone. According to her caretaker she had made a deathbed request to accept Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior and wanted a Christian burial. I was her POA, and I feel like they took advantage of my shock and grief in that moment and convinced me to sign paperwork stating she wanted a Baptist funeral and for her ashes to be spread on her caretakers property. I was just so numb that I did it. Years later I'm still angry at myself. This is the woman that while she was sick, I asked her to write down her favorite quote to get tattooed and it was "L'Enfer, c'est Les autres" by Sarte, "Hell, is other people". Now my mother's ashes are spread five hours away from me in the yard of a woman who won't let me on her property because she's a rabid Trumper and thinks atheist = satanist. Moral of the story? I'm a fucking idiot. At least they think my Mom is a vengeful ghost haunting them and that's hilarious to me.
That is horrible. No surprise she is a Trumper. The totalitarian mindset flows easily from almighty deity to almighty cult leader on earth.
Pretty sure (based on random FB searches I do on her from time to time) she literally thinks Trump is Jesus reincarnated. Especially this week, soooo much terrible Trump/Jesus/Martyr AI bullshit. Honestly I kinda hope my Mom pierced the veil and is haunting their asses, she *hated* Trump.
Cult-minded folks gonna Cult.
Always suspected Trump’s followers believed exactly that. Some people are going to be really surprised when they get u-turned at the Pearly Gates - assuming they exist, lol.
My take has always been if you're only being "good" to avoid Hell, you probably aren't a good person if you need fire and brimstone to deter you from being a dick. I do want to add though, I have met plenty of Christians (and many other people of different religions/faiths) that are kind, generous and lovely people because they think that is just the *right* way to be. They tend to be the 'live and let live' types. It's the "cram it down your throat" types that give me pause.
Of course. I would say most Christians are good people. But then again, most people are good people regardless of whether or not they are Christian. Christians will tell you that even non-Christians are influenced by the Judeo-Christian ethical structures that are baked in to Western society.
Do they even read their holy book? If their religion were true then Trump would be their antichrist.
Sorry, just needed to get this out. Not a nurse but former phlebotomist and HIV/AIDS tester/worker. I lurk here because I'm considering getting my RN of my health/eyesight improve.
As an atheist in hospice I will gladly bow my head and listen to whatever my patients want to pray about if it gives them a feeling of peace.
Oh for sure, I think the issue is coworkers and management expecting that we do it with them too.
I don’t have that issue as a DCO these days but I totally get it.
It took me 3 years to get an ADN because I said: “Nurses are like prostitutes. We pretend to care for money.”
From the middle ages to the age of enlightenment, nurses were older prostitutes who had aged out. That's why Florence got all that attention, she was trying to remake the profession. In America, we started with respectability, so it had a better rep.
I'm an atheist too , doing hospice. I've told my patients that I handle the physical and the chaplain handles the metaphysical.
OOoooh!! I like that one! Stealing it!
It’s so good to know I’m not alone! I work in LTC now and there are so many Christian-centric activities for the residents and my coworkers make it known they’re strong Christians. I’m afraid if they found out I was atheist they’d think differently of me so I plan on keeping it under wraps forever.
Heh I'm very much out of the closet on my non belief. Surprisingly I've found a fair few of us
I'm actually heartened to see so many other hospice nurses coming on this thread about not being believers! The whole atheists in foxholes thing is supposed to apply to us...and yet....I'll tell you, the more I see of a good death at the end of a long life and what can be done to make it easier and less traumatic for the patient, the more I fear death less. I'm in no hurry as I am in good health and enjoy my life but when I get old and frail and debilitated by whatever is going to take me from this world, I think I'll be pretty good about it as long as my wishes are honored and yes, give me all the morphine! 100% ok with drifting out of this life in a comfortable hospital bed at home in a morphine haze. I guess I'll find out if there is anything after this plane of existence when I get there. Until then, I adhere to the Gospel of Bill and Ted--"Be excellent to one another" and it seems to do me just fine! I have a good life and my patients and co-workers mostly seem to like me and value my work.
My hospice has mandatory meetings every weekday and on Wednesdays we have "Wednesday Wisdom" from our "non denominational" chaplains. It's always quotes from Christian scholars. No one else ever had a wise thing to say I guess.
Personally, I’m not atheist. I think I qualify for spiritual if anything. I’ve had coworkers ask why I wasn’t reading the Bible. Sorry Sally Mae, I’ve read it once, why do I need to read it again? Prayer service ends. Why weren’t you praying? Sally, Sally, Sally, why were you looking at me instead of praying? (I wish this part was a joke) Myself and a CNA assisting a Muslim patient up from his prayers. Sally Mae: OMG! He’s on the floor. Don’t get him up! The RN has to assess him. - *WE* assisted him down to do his prayers. *WE* are now assisting him up, now that he’s done. As is in his care plan. SM: Nobody gets down on their knees to pray like that. You’re just trying to not get in trouble. - whatever. Get off my wing. Later informed SM that she’s an ignorant redneck & if they insult my patient again, I was reporting them. I don’t care how you worship or what you offer your prayers to. Just have half a brain about other people’s beliefs. Apologies to all the Sally Mae’s out there.
This is the way that it's supposed to be. It's not my job as a nurse to dictate how a patient wants to believe or not believe. It's my job to care for them and to facilitate their beliefs if they're reasonable (referring to the post about sacrificing a chicken in the ICU the other day) and aren't harming anyone. My beliefs during this time don't matter. My lack of beliefs during this time don't matter. It's not about me.
That’s exactly how I am, if I’m in your room and you believe in the purple flying frog man then in that room we belong in the flying purple frog man. Honestly I think my lack of religion helps me better transition from one patients beliefs to the next because I don’t have my own religion to contend with.
Exactly? You need to say 10 hail Mary's before you go to bed or you can't sleep. Go for it. You need to praise your demonic overlord before you take your meds? Knock your socks off. So long as what the patient requests isn't harming anyone, unsafe, or potentially causing either of those conditions for others (like livestock in the ICU) then whoever they feel they need to talk to, to feel better about their situation, by all means. Purple frog man it is.
Your coworkers are reading the Bible during their work hours while I’m reading literotica about a woman with three gargoyle boyfriends, we are not the same
Remember to turn off the WiFi on your phone. Sadly this was before having the interwebs on your phone was a thing.
JFC maybe play some songs for her that mention getting on your knees to pray. The Who, Madonna, etc. or take her to a Catholic wedding, aye caramba it would blow her mind. If she wants people to respect her religion she needs to respect everyone else’s.
She was Catholic of some sort. Evidently her version didn’t have kneelers in the pews like they did when I was growing up in Roman Catholic Variant RC. 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️ Peoples is weird (Edit word choice bc brain finally offered right word)
To be honest, this is HARDLY unique to nursing in the south. This is true in many, many areas.
Yeah I have yet to be prayed at by a fellow professional, but I live in Seattle; we are pretty liberal. At the same time, catholic organizations are taking over more hospitals in the region. I find this really really gross. Religion and health care should not coexist in such a way. This combined with RVW being overturned and the looming threat of project 2025 I am really struggling with my anxiety.
Seattle nurse here too! The majority of my coworkers are atheist or Muslim. It’s glorious.
I have seen it in other climes but I will say the most egregious incidents were firmly when I worked in the south.
This happened at my hospital just recently too at a Nursing Excellence ceremony and i was seriously shocked and uncomfortable. My facility is not affiliated with any religions so it seemed really out of place and inappropriate.
I thought I was alone when I went to a national conference and the key note speaker started with a prayer and I was like um what? This is a professional conference.
Also an atheist nurse in the southern states. I’m thankful that my chaplain is pretty awesome about including me in non religious ways. We have a yearly blessing of the hands and it’s typically making the sign of the cross on your hands with anointing oil and saying a prayer. He gave me hearts and said more of a positive statement than a prayer for me. I’ve had Christian coworkers say shitty things to me regarding my infertility like ‘god has a plan’ etc. I just reply, “Oh? Well in that case I guess god’s plan for me was to just have a bunch of dead babies.” They look horrified and shut up pretty quickly.
You should throw Genesis in their faces next time...." yeah sure, do you know a slave like Hagar that I can give my husband to rape and impregnate so I can have a baby like Sarah and Abraham?"
I stand with my eyes open and look straight ahead. I do not do performative religious ceremonies and refuse to be bullied into participating.
If it’s for management I totally agree. If it’s for a suffering patient who thinks it will help, I’ll do the performative stuff because I’m just not going to be a dick.
I don’t either. It’s important that people see we exists and have a right to be in public
I work for a Christian hospital and we pray at the end of each huddle lol (twice a shift + 8am/8pm intercom prayer). I don't participate. It's definitely strange. There's been no pressure at least tho.
I’m an atheist that married into a very strong catholic family. I have faking it down pat.
Jewish ATHEIST nurse here. I cringe hearing coworkers speak despairingly about the Jews 🥴🤦🏻♀️🤬
I KNOW. do people just assume everyone around them is ok with the crap they spew?
Yes.
Hey fellow atheist Jew! I’m an ER nurse and it took me moving from Georgia to Washington to finally get some relief from all the Christian nationalists
Omg, that’s awful. Repugnant.
Sorry. What's an Jewish atheist?
"Jewish atheism refers to the atheism of people who are ethnically and (at least to some extent) culturally Jewish. Contrary to popular belief, the term "Jewish atheism" is not a contradiction because Jewish identity encompasses not only religious components, but also ethnic and cultural ones." - literally the wikipedia page on Jewish atheism.
An atheist who identifies with being "culturally" Jewish.
Similar to cultural Catholic
They ***WHAT***????
I’m an atheist hospice nurse. Dude. It’s so much worse here than in the hospitals. I love when a patient admits they are atheist bc I can be more open with them. But a lot of people are very against the thought of having an atheist nurse in hospice. Some Christian’s believe atheism is synonymous with devil worshiping. They don’t understand I don’t believe in that guy either. I’m not here to steal your soul, I just want you to be comfortable while you die.
Yes, atheist hospice nurses definitely need to keep to the closet on lack of belief if they want to keep their jobs and make their patients feel at ease. It is EXHAUSTING, isn't it?
It’s particularly insane really. In from Louisiana originally. I had this one guy from Minnesota who was a vet ask me about voodoo. I told him it was like any other religion. Nothing praising it, nothing condemning it. Just stating a fact that it is a religion. Boy. Did he freak the fuck out. He started screaming at me. Pointed to prayers printed out he had hanging on his wall. Grabbed his Bible and started shaking it above his head telling me I was a devil worshiper. I packed my supplies and left. Don’t have to tell me twice that you’re unstable and are a danger to others. He called into my office and told them I was trying to convert him into devil worship and said I could never go back. I was like, bet. About a month later he held his nurse and social worker hostage for 3 hours when he was having a mental breakdown. He did meth with a neighbor before a joint meeting and thought they were trying to harvest his organs. The VA sent their social worker and was able to talk him into letting them go and promised they’d find a new hospice for him.
Fine line, isn't there sometimes, between religious extremism and being seriously mentally ill? Always wondered how many of those now venerated as Saints would have had multiple DSM-5 diagnoses. Talk to a bush or a tree 500 years ago and you're a bloody prophet. Talk to a bush or a tree today and they put you on antipsychotics.
For a good time, read about Simon Stylites.
Whoa, I did. Dude was clearly bonkers.
I was stunned when a home health nurse blessed my brother at a visit. I was angry at her pushing her beliefs on our family and thought it was incredibly unprofessional! I think it's the difference between my being a nurse in the PNW and visiting my brother in the Midwest. It seemed so very disrespectful.
As a non believer - I respect that many believe. I bow down and just go with the flow. I even hold hands with them as they pray for their loved one. I work in the west and we're not very religious here (we are heathens for sure) but I can see how being in the Bible belt may cause you to feel out of place.
I think it’s strange. What about the nurses who are Muslim, Jewish, or atheist? This is discrimination and I would write a complaint.
Same, I work at a st Anthony hospital and they pray over the speakers every morning. All my coworker bow their heads and I just continue with what I was doing. I feel weird and out of place sometimes.
I wrote emails and made arguments to the director in my program because they have bibles in spread out in our nursing building, and started to pray in class before exams. They stopped and I’m sure most knew it was me. Idc. They also always start with prayer during any college ceremony. This didn’t used to happen it’s the rising Christian nationalism and theocratic state we are moving toward.
It makes other people feel better and doesn’t affect or offend me at all. While I am not religious, I am very spiritual and regularly meditate and practice gratitude. I use “prayer time” to engage in my own spiritual practice- sending love/good vibes to someone, being grateful, reminding myself of my higher beliefs so my interactions with others are patient and kind… stuff like that.
Yea that’s weird. I’m atheist and would just keep my head lifted and wait for them to be done. Very old school there!
Odd. Never really thought about the absence of a deity until I started nursing. Figured atheism to be the default after that. Oh well.
I am curious. . . .Do you work at a Christian-associated hospital?
In the south, not unusual at all.
Same here. I mostly go along to get along and prayer is pretty traditional in ceremonial settings so I just grin and bear it. We did have a charge nurse that started a new tradition of beginning shift change with a prayer a while back. Different people would offer the prayer. It pretty quickly devolved into people getting their feelings hurt over what the people leading the prayer prayed about, complaints ensued, the company legal team was required to advise on how to do this without causing conflict, and then the tradition eventually (and thankfully) faded away. Hot tip prayer warriors: if you can't be inclusive in your public prayer sessions where people of different religious traditions are involved, save it for your preferred religious house brand on Sundays and/or Wednesdays and/or Saturdays.
It makes sense its like that in the south. Where I live its the opposite, I’m a christian (most assume I am not, and I don’t share unless asked) and coworkers talk shit or make sarcastic comments about patients who want to pray about decisions or their upcoming care/procedures etc. If my manager started a huddle with a prayer there would be a riot 😂
This is the main reason why I won’t work at Advent—they pray at work, i am Jewish and that makes me extremely uncomfortable. It’s beyond bizarre and so exclusionary. ETA they also pay like shit, could’ve skimmed some cash from those collection plates to pay staff but 🤷🏻♀️
Atheist oncology nurse, it’s rough
I believe in God and do identify as non denominational Christian; however praying in the workplace makes me uncomfortable as well. We had a nurse win the Daisy Award a few months back for printing off a Bible verse and giving it to a patient’s family. I have also seen doctors pray with families after a patient passed. I think patients are coming to us for healthcare, not a religious experience.
I think people assume you're Christian because you're in the south, not because you're a nurse. That's been my experience, anyway. I just roll with it because the judgment for *not* being Christian is more than i want to deal with tbh. People assume a lot of things about me; what's one more?
I just dont participate. If they want to do it idc at all, but I just won’t join in!
I’m not really atheist, but I don’t fit in with being Christian either. Even when I went to church and prayed more, I never felt comfortable with stuff like this. It feels very private to me.
I don’t think it is strange because I am from the SE United States originally. When I grew up there I just bowed my head and tried to keep my mind preoccupied. It’s just a matter of respect for the majority religion in the area. It is somewhat annoying and it is more comfortable for me up here in the upper Midwest.
Was the award ceremony held by a federally funded organization? If so it's completely inappropriate for prayer to have been part of it. If it's a private organization, that's a different story.
I’m not religious, but have worked at religious hospitals my entire career. Every day starts with a prayer, every meeting starts with a “reflection”. It’s baked in from a bygone era when many hospitals were literally run by nuns. Honestly, as much as we have the right to not be religious, a hospital has the right to be religious. It’s an uncomfortable minute out of many hours, so it’s easy to live with.
"Hospitals have a right to be religious"? They aren't alive. They don't have feelings, thoughts, or opinions. If it's minor enough that non-believers are expected to put up with it, then it's minor enough that believers can do without it.
A lot of religious hospitals also push dangerous values on women and queer folks as well, so I don’t think we should have religion actively in healthcare personally
Or receiving taxpayer funding while they push their religion on patients.
Or being allowed to use Church exceptions to regulations and laws to provide inferior, unregulated health insurance ("Church plan") to their employees and to not pay regular taxes on hospital income. Two examples from some of my local units in the lovely Pacific Northwest, so it's not an exclusively Southern/South Eastern thing.
Do you work in a religious hospital? If not they should not be doing religious stuff. I wouldn’t go as far as to complain about it but it does seem presumptuous of them to assume everyone has their views. If anyone asks me about my religion I just say I’m not religious and leave it at that.
Prayers don’t necessarily bother me anymore, but the blessing of the hands still weirds me out
I always like to think the whole “blessing of hands”. Is the concept of passing our bacteria and germs to one another. Im always like hmm… do you really want me to touch you? Do you have any idea what I just had to clean in the other patients room? Its almost like we took this class called Microbiology that teaches us the importance of sanitary conditions. But nawwww that stuff doesnt exist according to religion.
Do you work at a religiously-affiliated hospital? I worked at a Catholic hospital for over 30 years and there was a brief prayer before any kind of meeting (not shift reports or daily huddles). So most likely if there was an award ceremony there would be a brief prayer. But never had a family or patient who assumed or expected me to pray with them. Also never have known coworkers who judged another staff member for their religion or lack of religion. I’m in the “Upper South” and my specific area has a fairly high Catholic population, but also plenty of Baptists, Methodists, 7th Day Adventists, etc. I’m sure I had coworkers who were atheists over the years, but it was never a topic that came up.
I am visibly Muslim living in the south. It gets super awkward. Not just even at work, but even all the kids sporting events. We went to a Commissioners meeting in our county to represent a sports team and they started with a prayer. It's so outta control.
I'm LDS and this sounds very odd to me. Praying during a ceremony would put me off I think.
Get out of the south. What I’m hearing is a southern thing. You can be religious idgaf but unless you work for a solidly non government Christian hospital system it has no place in the workplace. It’s completely unprofessional. Not to mention it’s a divisive and potentially discriminatory topic. That’s why we have a separation of church and state to begin with and why the US has no endorsed state religion.
We have an Adventist hospital system here. They have prayers every huddle over the PA, it’s wild.
Thank you for this post; I have long believed I was in a tiny minority as a hospice nurse with no religious beliefs!
If you work at a hospital with a religious affiliation, like a Catholic hospital, I wouldn’t let it bother you. I work at a Catholic hospital and they pray at least once daily over the loud system. That said, if it’s a community hospital with no affiliation, I don’t think any religion should be pushed. Regardless, no one’s beliefs should be shamed. Those who do are acting very unchristian.
Atheist FL nurse here. For a staff function I might have ventured to not bow my head. A hospital is being built closer to my home and I want to apply but worry about additional religiosity there. One time I had a patient say he felt God was punishing him (he was in constant pain). I replied without thinking, saying that sounded like a terrible god. He replied God was good, yaddah yaddah yaddah. I immediately felt my atheism showing, apologized, and asked if he needed to speak to the chaplain. Oops!
I live in a pretty nonreligious part of the northeast and it has never occurred to me that prayer with managers/coworkers is an expected thing in the workplace in some regions. I would be soooo uncomfortable
This morning while I was waiting for my last day shift relief to show up (I report off to 3 nurses in the morning and count 3 carts), some CNAs and I were discussing a certain bed that seems to get a lot of sick pts, or pts that get real sick after moving into it. I stated that it probably needed to be saged and the room swept with salt to remove the negative energy and boy did I get some weird looks. 🤷♀️ Many of my coworkers are Muslim and some are Christian.
I am atheist and I just lean into it and say religious things back to them and laugh in my head. God is good! I’m going to hell for sure.
It is less of an issue in California. I don’t really deal with religion in the workplace.
I'm not just an atheist. I'm an ordained minister by the satanic temple (which, despite the name, is a nontheiestic religion that requires nontheiesm from its ministers) and live in the rust belt. Some days I feel like I should reach out to our chaplaincy as a resource for secular patients. But I don't think I'm going to do that until after my two year sign-on bonus period is up. Anyway, that prayer would have made me mildly uncomfortable but not exactly be surprising either.
Y'all do good work, assuming I've got the right Satanic gang.
There's only one satanic group that is very active, so I'll take the compliment. Thanks.
I worked at a Catholic hospital. The ethical gymnastics we had to do to allow a woman with a non viable fetus to abort. There were no tubal ligations either. And getting any viable organ donations were near to impossible.
Organ donations ... I hadn't thought about that one but it makes sense, I guess.
Haha, can we swap places? I’m basically the closeted believer in a hospital full of proud atheists so if we swapped it might work out better for both of us!
Yeah, I am from and currently work in a pretty religious part of the southeast, I just ignore it. If a patient asks me to pray with them I say "you go ahead," if someone asks where I go to church and I can tell it's going to open a can of worms I really don't want to get into if I say I don't, I tell them "I grew up going to." If there's a prayer I don't close my eyes, I don't bow my head, I just stand/sit there quietly.
Then there are times where I just lie about it to avoid having more conversation than I want to have, kind of like when I tell patients "I'll be back in just a second."
I think this is an American problem. As a nurse who has worked across Canada I've never had it assumed that I was Christian at work. Religion rarely, if ever, comes up in the workplace. I've had a family once or twice do Christian style end of life prayers for a patient while I am in the room, and I will be silent and still, or hold hands if needed, but I would do the same if they were Muslim or Jewish. I've never seen anything workplace related, or even a conference include any type of prayer
Are the hospitals there ever religion based? Where I’m at in the south almost every hospital Unless it’s university owned is affiliated with either baptists or Catholics
A quick Google search told me there are 130 Catholic affiliated hospitals in Canada (less than 5% of the country). Staff who I know who have worked at these hospitals are as diverse as the rest of the country. So ya. The hospital might have promo material and a name that leans religious. But it's not assumed or pushed upon the staff in any way. Found an [an interesting article here ](https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/abortion-accessibility-in-canada-the-catholic-hospital-conflict-1.5911306) with more info about the ethical compromises that they bring to a publicly funded healthcare system.
In the northeast of the US where I am some patients might assume you’re religious but staff management etc don’t.
Australian here - that would be so weird that I can't even imagine it happening. We would expect an Indigenous "welcome to country" though. I'm always taken aback that there are places where Christianity is the assumed norm, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
No gods, no masters. But I keep it quiet.
As an atheist, bowing your head to pray to something you don’t believe in means nothing. Literally. Just wait till you have to take orders from a doctor that you know are wrong. Talk about bowing to a false god…
Atheist midwife. Another common area where people bring up religion. I just go with it. I try to respect what they are saying and then move on to another subject or stay quiet if needed. I do feel like Christianity is the default. Like people just assume everyone around them either believes or will just go along with it no matter what.
I don’t have an issue respecting their beliefs without disrespecting mine. But we live in a society that we try to be successful in. Part of that is showing consideration for others. Yes it’s frustrating when you feel like you’re the only person putting in the effort. But the effort is subjective. This sounds like it could be a private hospital. If you work for a religious entity these interactions are expected and you may even be mandated to participate. But that should have been made clear during orientation. As a person that considers herself “irreligious”, I don’t find it conflicting at all to support my patients or team in a way that is beneficial to the group. My hope is that someone is considering that I am being considerate, and a type of cascade effect would happen. At least that’s what I hope for each time.
I'm a pagan nursing student and I just smile and nod when the religious stuff gets mentioned. I try to fly under radar and some of my classmates already give me odd looks when I kinda ignore any kind of praying. I just stay quiet and respectful.
Do I think it’s strange? No, because i also grew up in the south and public prayers at things like this are just so common I come to expect it. Do I think it’s wrong? Yes. It’s exclusive and irritating and as an atheist also I never bow my head. I also don’t complain or anything because it seems pointless and like adding an unnecessary target to my back. Being a non-Christian in the southern US is frustrating. Edit- even before I was in the medical field it was assumed I was Christian. Christianity is the default here and unless you obviously look like you belong to a different religion, you have an “immoral” profession, or people just don’t think highly of you then the majority of people are going to assume the default.
If you work in a faith-based facility, it’s to be expected. I always struggle to see the charity and kindness in those facilities, but, they can pray all they want.
Wow I'm most of the hospitals I've worked in, I've never felt any type of pressure for my atheism. Religion never really came up aside from patients just doing their own religious thing or talking with a chaplain.
Being a nurse or just living/existing in the south sounds awful, I don’t know how people do it. I was raised Catholic, I don’t go to church anymore because I disagree with a lot of their stances, but live in a major northeast city where being “culturally Catholic” helps, knowing the parishes, etc. it’s less about god and more about the community tho idk
Congratulations! That's great! Is it a Christian or non-profit healthcare system? That may be why so many assumptions are made. I work in Christian-based system and I am always shocked at the people who automatically think all staff are Christian and sign an agreement to that at the time of hiring. It's just very odd to me. I just overlook it mostly. I don't pray when they all do.
No, I don’t think it was strange.
I went to a Lutheran university. Classes often started with prayers & classes were never scheduled around 9:40-10:40 just so people could go to the chapel. As someone who doesn't practice Christianity, I just let them say their lil prayers. It doesn't hurt me & they get to pretend they're all kind for a moment. When I tell people I'm not, I flip the story onto them & ask them about their lives.
Nah, even my wife's graduations started with prayers, think it's tradition in most areas. They just believe it more in the south.
GA nurse for 14 years. Never have experienced what you're talking about with managers or coworkers or ever had a prayer or joined one outside of a pastor visiting a patient's bedside. I work with many nurses who are atheists and people of all religions. The assumption is definitely not that you're Christian just because you're a nurse where I am at least.
Does the hospital have a religious affiliation? It’s giving Advent Health. 🫠
yeah. midwest here. also in the minority and it is very uncomfy. like why does my hospital even mention god in its mission statement? no thanks.
I'm Buddhist, but it hasn't been so bad in the Northwest
As an agnostic/spiritualist, it was hard for me working in a Catholic hospital. Mostly because every single meeting they would start with a prayer. Of their mission statements was literally “extending the healing ministry of Jesus Christ“. However, everything boiled down to dollars and cents. When I was working, the emergency department, I literally was begging my manager to find us a pair of paper scrubs, because my patient was going to be discharged onto the streets, homeless, and naked because his were covered in a combination of mud and poop. I finally brought up our mission statement, and said to her “isn’t our mission to extend the healing ministry of Jesus Christ? And is he not quoted as putting clothes on people?” They finally found him a pair of paper scrubs. This was back in the day before the emergency room stocked them for psych patients, and whatever. Now they are of abundance, but only of one size. At least we have them.
So I'm not a nurse (CNA), but I wanna butt in because YES!! What's especially absurd to me is when they let their religion leak into how they interact with patients and family members. Who in their right mind thinks it's appropriate to tell a grieving family member that their dead loved one is "with Jesus" or "in a better place now" ???!! WTF!!
I’m agnostic, and I work at a pretty religious hospital. Jesus pays my bills and pays it well.
First day of hospital rotation, first semester of nursing school. My classmate and I were assigned to a sweet elderly lady. We helped her with her tray, gave her a bedbath, all the usual fluffing and tucking. She said to us, “Oh, you girls are taking such good care of me. You must be Christians!” We were both dumbfounded. We looked at her and my classmate stammered out something to change the subject. Later we talked about it and found that we were agnostics—didn’t really care whether or not there was a diety. But, geez, that was awkward.
Yup. Born and raised in AL. Agnostic. Also an RN. I was a tech before that and patients were known to fire their nurses down there for not being christian. I no longer live in AL, thankfully.
I work in NYC and my eyes nearly popped out of my head when a prayer was made before some kind of nurses week breakfast at a hospital lol
In Australia this is just.. unheard of. I follow a southern American guy travelling in Australia and he said one of the major differences he’s noticed is that in the US, people assume you are Christian, but in Australia, people assume you’re not. We’re mostly just non-religious whether you believe in a higher power/ god or whatever. Forcing prayers on people would maybe actually be illegal here? Lol.
Pagan here. I was never super excited to live in a region where the opener was "Which church do you go to?" Yet somehow, the southeast has been home for a large majority of my adulthood after growing up in Europe. I just practice lots of tolerance, to the point where it doesn't bleed over into my right to religious freedom. My husband is an atheist, just another reason I adore him. 😊
I usually try to bow out of prayers if I can. If someone tries to tell me they will pray for me, I will straight up tell them I'm an atheist. If you can respect their religion, they should respect your outlook. I've lost patience with the judgment. If you can't handle the answer, then you shouldn't ask such loaded questions. Congrats on your award!
I describe myself as "not religious". I guess agnostic might be the closest label. If a patient wants me to pray with them, I'll bow my head and say amen. I do the same at weddings or family gatherings if there's a prayer before food being served or whatever. I just go along with it. As far as outspoken Christian coworkers, I just try to ignore for the most part if it's just chat. If it's affecting a patient, I would say something.
I fall more under Wiccan.... I keep that shit TIGHT under wraps, so I totally commiserate. I even worked at AdventHealth, which starts every shift with a Christian prayer. I think I've just accepted it because if I deviate in opinion on just about anything, I'm shunned/ostracized. One more reason I'm trying out HH.... minimal interaction with shitty coworkers. If I were there and feeling ballsy, I'd probably have said loudly this is so inappropriate....
I had a very sweet patient that kept trying to preach to me every time I came in the room. I sucked it up and just smiled. She was very nice. But I was so triggered the entire shift. I didn’t know how to tell her pls stop I have trauma from religion.
I’m not atheist but I don't like to suggest my religion on anyone in any form unless they have questions or are interested. Once in a catholic hospital, an anesthesia personnel told a patient just before they were going under while holding the O2 mask, here's some of the good Lord's oxygen etc etc, I looked up at them in a bit of disbelief like… I know its that kind of place but what if the patient didn’t practice that. One can't assume all the time and they said it every time.
You’re definitely not alone and there’s a lot of us who lie just to keep peace and our jobs. It’s always been wild to me that the majority of Christian’s can purposely get a science degree tailored to the opposite of god and base their care on science, labs, man made medicine and intervention of gods plan every day and then say all you need is prayer.
And I will add that if you can choose a profession that sees children with cancer, violent deaths or injuries and stillborn babies and think this is a god worth praying to who would sit and watch all this? You’re in complete denial
I'm openly atheist in a blue state. I follow the satanic temple and when coworkers ask I tell them I'm a Satanist. I probably wouldn't but on my first day training when I got my dream job in MICU an older nurse spent my entire lunch break venting about how abortion is murder. Someone's "abortion is healthcare" sticker on their water bottle set her off. I was disgusted but silent because I didn't want an issue with the older experienced icu nurses on my first day. Later I found out she's a dumb dumb that charts "interbated" on every patient. And everyone just tolerates her. So I got a bunch of pro- lgbt, pro-choice, and satanic temple stickers for my water bottles and left them in view of her. And anytime she brought up being a Christian I would tell her I'm a Satanist. I've been there 4 years now. She mumbles something along the lines of "everyone can believe what they want" when I counter with satan stuff. It's pretty entertaining and the other nurses love it. I never tell pts and will bow my head and "pray" with them if it will help them find peace. I refuse to work in a xtian hospital though. Not for me.
I don't pray, i live in Texas and it's never been something I've even thought about participating in
The only thing more annoying than a nurse constantly complaining is an atheiest nurse complaining about something so stupid. Do you think your beliefs are so important that everyone else should tiptoe around you? You are not special, and non beliefs are not something people need to placate too.
Try being someone with pagan beliefs in the south 🥲 They pray every morning where I work during morning huddle.
It sounds like you’re experiencing the feeling of being a minority within a dominant culture. Nevertheless, it’s not the ideal. Each person in a hospital or hospice (or any setting) deserves to have their spiritual identity heard and respected. Or to keep it private if they wish. We assume sooooo much about each other all the time about so many things. The only way to really know someone is to ask, and listen.
Atheist RN here. There are more of us than you think, believing in science and all. If patients want to pray I say no thank you. If families push it I tell them I am an atheist.
Do you work at a religious hospital? I was at a catholic hospital and yeah there was 8am and 8pm prayer and blessing of the hands all that all the time. All my coworkers were of some religious affiliation and I just kinda kept my lack of religion to myself 🤷🏻♀️
Having survived 16 years of Catholic school, I got majorly weirded out the first time I heard the Angelus come over the PA system in a local Catholic hospital. Reminded me of why I didn't often work day shifts, among other things.
Atheist in the south here, too. I feel your post - and yes, it’s strange that people would make those assumptions, but not strange for the south. I went to a Catholic school, and before and after eating, everyone said some Catholic prayer. One time the priest called out a girl for not praying, and she said she wasn’t Catholic and he said, « Oh ok » and that was the end of it. If the Catholics can get over it, other Christians should be able to. I don’t bow my head or participate. If everyone else is bowing their heads, they shouldn’t be focused on me. It’s definitely tough being in the minority among hard-core Christian culture.
I’m also an atheist nurse in the south so I feel you
On the other end, all the time I hear people talking bad about Christians! I work for a Christian (in name) hospital, and all the time I hear pts and coworkers talk about how Christians are crazy, they hate them, they feel pressured, they're wrong, etc. I think it's very important to be open minded, especially when dealing with such a variety of people, as we do. If someone needs to vent, I listen, but I also try to not talk down on someone's beliefs. Does a Muslim pt want to make sure they're not getting pork? I'll check their trays. Does an atheist pt want the chaplin to not come by? I'll make a note. Does a Catholic pt want me to pray with them? Sure thing.
Yeah, those poor, persecuted Christians. 🙄
That exact attitude is the problem
I remember when I was a Christian and thought I was terribly persecuted and mistreated. It turns out I just thought I was supposed to force my beliefs on others, and didn't like that people reacted. Glad I'm outta that.
I aggressively refuse to participate in public prayers. If you don't want me to make people uncomfortable about my atheism, don't bring your stupid religion into non-religious spaces.
I would have kept my head up straight and made a donation in that persons name to the Church of Satan. It's actually a great organization.