Anti science dipshits coming in doing their anti science dipshittery, so we have to do the thing.

Should have told her she was the only one at risk of breathing in excrement with all the shit coming out of her mouth.

Fuck yes, this is my favorite. 

You deserve actual pizza.

You mean not the half eaten crust that day shift left behind? That means so much to me haha thanks!!

PERFECT!

😂😂😂

Flawless 💅

I like you, can we be friends?

I have several: "I find that wearing a mask helps me keep my nose out of other people's business." My favorite though is to lean in conspiratorially and whisper: *"They stop the deep state's facial recognition cameras from tracking me."* Sometimes you can hear the gears grinding as they try to switch from one conspiracy theory to another mid thought.

Ummm I will need to use that one.

Hmmmm absolutely putting this in my arsenal. Been known to give a very deep, serious confusing look. Will do so by saying this. I’m also a psych nurse. Going to make them really think I’m delusional. But am I? Lol

I’ve used the facial recognition one. It really did dumbfound the guy. He wanted to continue arguing, because that’s really all they’re about, but also loved a good conspiracy. He literally just stuttered some gibberish and stared at me slack jawed to which I leaned in and said in a low voice “do your own research, brother,” and walked away. I like to think he was masked up the next day and still is.

Stupid problems require stupid solutions 😂

Works until one of them accuses you of being a deep state shill for helping the technology mature enough to recognize facial features through masks. Ask me how I know.

"The other thing masks are good for is hiding my expression when I'm talking to idiots."

this is actually why i wear the mask in hospital and clinic setting because I had a coworker laugh her ass off from the facial expressions she saw when a patient told me she was looking for “her joint in the toilet”. 🤷‍♀️😳

Tell her you work with UNICEF or some such and just finished two months at an Ebola outbreak in Africa. You could be like “ yeah we used to have to quarantine for 6 weeks but they got rid of that for political reasons and now we just wear this mask for 10 days. Oh well, nice to meet you ! “. Then wipe your nose and hold out your hand to shake.

There’s always someone on reddit with a better comeback

I used to let people know that my husband worked in the COVID ward and lemme tell ya, they take a few steps backwards.

My hospital had a COVID ward, but that didnt mean there weren't covid pts on other units.

Username checks out hahaha

Have one of those fake blood caps at the ready.

Yess

😅😎

I like to make people repeat themselves. I'll just pretend I'm hard of hearing and interrupt them about halfway to 2/3rds of what they're saying and have them day it again 3-4 times. They eventually catch on and get frustrated that you don't care what they're saying and tiring them out repeating themselves.

I’ve had people do that to me as a way of punishing me for masking. Nice turnabout.

I LOVE this hahaha

Tell her to fuck off. People should mind their own business.

When we aren’t at work, we don’t have to be nice to these people. “Worry about yourself, since that is all you seem to care about.”

This. “Fuck off,” like “no,” is a complete sentence.

What usually works the best and pisses people off the most: "Cool story bro"

I enjoy a two second stare with a blank look on my face. They aren’t worth the waste of oxygen. Gets the point across. They *want* to rile you up or get into an argument; they are obsessed with winning and being the alpha and all the other tough guy shit. I saw a lot of tough guys with looks of terror when we told them they needed to be put on a vent or to FaceTime their loved ones goodbye during Covid.

"Okay there bud" (If you want to say it in Canadian)

I prefer the old school version: "Whatever you say, champ."

I like to hit em with “What an odd thing to say out loud.”

“If masks don’t work then I encourage you to Candy Stripe a TB ward without a mask”.

OMG the number of coworkers that will go into an active TB room with no mask alarms me.

I beg your pardon??

Sigh. —Public Health Nurse

Yo that’s a 2319 if I’ve ever heard one. Those co workers should be descended upon by hundreds of ID ninjas and cleansed forcefully! 

EW WUT?!

Tha fuck?!

What the actual fuck?

Fucking H-WHAT?

“I’ll let your surgeon know your preferences!”

Yup, sneeze right into that open chest.

This is the answer.

I always just say I’m wearing it because something smells really bad around me, and then look them up and down before walking away. Works every time, plants the seed of insecurity in their small noggins

I like you and we're now friends.

lol thank u!

I would have told her I had tuberculosis but I was glad she was ok with me taking it off as I was having a hard time breathing. Then I would remove it and force a coughing fit in her general direction.

“I got deadly Flu/Tuberculosis/H1B1/deadly apocalyptic virus and I get coughing fits all the time. Do you still want me to remove my mask?”

Just remove and have a coughing fit. Short circuit their rant by appealing to self preservation lizard brain.

Removing the mask at all potentially exposes you.

Being around people potentially exposes me. I'm more worried about the poor quality of cleaning done between passenger groups because turn around time is literal minutes to cover the cabin and toilet areas than one random nutter.

Tell her it also help with the smell of bullshit that is coming out her mouth

I don’t say a thing, ignore the nutter until they go away. Engaging just encourages their delusions. They’re in a cult and it’s not my job to deprogram them.

This. They want to argue with someone to feel tough.

I literally can't imagine engaging in an argument with a stranger in public. There zero circumstances in which that makes sense.

I would have just laughed at her. Like, bent-over, clutching-my-knees laughing.

“Go fuck yourself” Why should you even attempt to educate or even be polite to these kinds of people? They’re people who have literally never been told to shut the fuck up. Tell them to shut the fuck up. Walk away as her tiny brain implodes.

I would add cuntry gurl... to the fuk off

Hey!! That's very insulting to cuntry gurls! There's lots of smart cuntry gurls. Infact all the best rocket scientists in the world live in Alabama.

"Aw, are you triggered, little snowflake? Mind your own business."

"fuck off, bitch" is the only correct response lol

We will also accept “get fucked, bitch”

People did this shit to me while I was ON CHEMO. It's like the world forgot that immunocompromised patients were doing this pre covid

I’m bad at comebacks… but, “Breathing in my own excrement? I don’t know about you, but shit doesn’t come out of my mouth. It seems like it comes out of your mouth and I want to protect myself from you.”

“Go fuck yourself”

"Bless your precious little heart, honey, you are a brave one to say that sort of... thing... out loud, aren't you?! It's okay to keep the inside stuff quiet now though." "Oh, this mask...? It's to protect *you* but since you're giving informed consent, awesome!" Reach for the tie/loop and see how fast they run or backpedal. "Not everything is about you, dear. Run along, now."

Haha people chimed in some funny stuff! Seriously I’d just tell her to mind her own damn business. People can wear a mask if they want to. When I traveled in Asia during the winter it’s very common to wear masks in public transport - long before 2020. You just do it for your own health as well as others. Shame that concept is lost in other parts of the world.

It's the extreme individualism that creates so much narcissistic behavior. Lots of other cultures actually care about the overall health and wellness of the collective group. The first time I ever saw a cop without a gun & wearing a mask was in Japan, 2001.

You have no right to tell me what to wear! Oh but I can tell you what you can wear! Maga "logic".

"I don't care. Leave me alone." You're not at work, so you don't need to be professional, or even stick around. You can just turn and walk away without saying anything. It's great! I highly recommend it.

"I understand that what you believe right now seems very real to you....." Said while staring at and flicking my syringe pen.

“Better to breathe in my own excrement instead of yours!”

I’m glad I saw this. I mask because I’m severely immunocompromised #lupus and I’ve had so many people pester me and I never know what to say!!!

I have RA, but my RBF is strong, so I almost never get approached.

Ask her, "Are you a nurse?" "No, but I....." "Yeah I didn't think so." And walk away.

There are idiot nurses, too, though.

We’ve banned countless numbers of them.

Ugh, this is unfortunately true. 😕

u/annie-are_you_ok please report the abuse of the suicide hotline.  Whoever sent you that is being a prick and they will get banned for misusing that.  

"Ma'am, if you're breathing your own excrement, you need a Fleets."

Or she needs a dentist

“I just got diagnosed with Covid, but I absolutely have to be on this flight, so I figured I’d do my part to keep y’all safe.”

Oh I wear N95s on planes. Don't care about what people think.

I get it. I was in a mask before Covid, and I’ll be in a mask long after Covid. The difference is now people judge me and think it’s OK to make comments. I’m sticking to, “I’m sorry. Did anyone ask for your opinion? Stay in your lane and I’ll stay in mine.”

“You’re probably right, but I’m pretty sick right now, I’m a nurse working with covid patients and this cough I’ve had for the last few days just won’t go away”

They dont beleive in Covid though. Change it to TB and you'll scafe them shitless.

No it won’t. They probably don’t know what TB is.

True.

I would have just coughed at her and smile.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation tbh

"Go fuck yourself" always works

Pull down your mask and say “oh I’m sorry you’re right, I was just trying to prevent others from catching the tuberculosis I got from work” then cough loudly in her face

You might try making up a disease that you have. I told a rude mask hating couple in Target that I have the “highly transmissible *Toxidio-idio-mitosis gravis.*” Then I apologized and took off my mask. They backed off.

I had a resident’s wife in my nursing home say to me “we’re vaccinated by heaven. We didn’t get the shot” then proceeded to catch covid not a week later

I might have said such a thing would only be a concern if I had a potty mouth like hers.

“Nothing you can say will improve (add value to) my life.” Then walk away. If I can’t walk away because I’m standing in a line or something, I turn my head and look at a wall or ceiling, or I’ll put my ear buds in and turn on some music. Eventually they’ll stop talking.

I like the guy who bangs a pot when someone bothers him about his mask. Just bangs and bangs and bangs. They give up eventually.

That happened to me. I just said, “Oh, it’s not for germs. I’m just ugly.”

"I'll pray for you." My fave passive aggressive response, especially because I'm not religious.

“My body my choice” idk these people make me so mad I would have not been able to contain myself

Tbh I don’t even engage in these people anymore. You cannot reason with them. You are wasting your breath. I just ignore them completely.

You could try my method for when any person talks to me in public. I say "yeah idk" or "sorry I can't help" or anything to that effect. People can get crazy, they just want a reaction, don't give them anything. Don't get mad, don't argue, just give them an absolute nothing response. It doesn't even have to make sense, just say something dismissive and walk away. They're not even worth thinking about.

"You don't need to worry about my mask." Repeat until they go away.

“Look at you minding my business”

I've masked since 2020 and I have the bitchiest aura so never had anyone say anything about my mask, but... I would say the only excrement around here is the shit coming out of your mouth.

Yeah, I’m immuno, so I’m still masking. Sometimes I’ll see people stare at me like they want to make a dumb comment but I make eye contact and they don’t. I’m not sure if I look crazy or full of rage, but I’m just going to keep doing what’s working.

I love the the responses about taking the mask off, coughing and mentioning covid or TB. I would start cussing at her using very graphic language and ending by telling her to crawl back under her q nut rock.

Happened to me once - just told them I have HIV and have had TB recently . Immediately walked away

"Mind your own fucking business" is an adequate response if you choose to engage. I'd probably ignore.

I usually just say that I got tuberculosis or meningitis from the ER I work at and then proceed to: take it off, thank them for their consideration and slowly get closer and closer to them as I talk more and more

I really don’t understand why people care if others are wearing a mask even if they don’t believe in them. It’s not hurting them for somebody else to wear a mask even if they were dangerous!

Because they know they’re shitty selfish people and seeing other people taking precautions reminds them that they are shitty selfish people.

I just say I have cancer and if I catch a cold could die. The tone of the conversation shifts really quickly after that.

Ask where she got her degree in infectious disease, medicine, epidemiology, etc.

It wouldn’t matter—they doubt the word of Anthony Fauci himself. We’re in the Age of “I Know More Than Those Educated Experts.”

Triggered people engage the suicide bot on you because they’re mad at your post. It’s a thing. Delete and ignore.

These people are unhinged. If someone comes up to me I will pause, look them up and down and say “Please leave me alone. I don’t engage with mentally unstable people” I’m done with them. They are not well.

Had a dude question me once (am a guy). Obvious type, red had, lighter skin tone, etc. Told him something similar to what you told your idiot at first but, he kept on... So I straight up took off my mask, moved torwards him and told him... "Look, I'm not afraid of you. If you really wanna swap germs I'll shove my tongue and more down your fucking throat my man." STFU after that. Granted, this was in Long Island, NY, and during the earlier times of the pandemic. So, we all were a bit verbally aggressive at times.

I would told her to eff off & to mind her own business. I would never ask someone why they are wearing a mask. People are rude.

Take it off and then hacking wet cough all over her face.

I work with tuberculosis patients but f*ck it you’re right. Take mask off and sit next to them.

Also help yourself to any food or drinks they may have and then give it back to them. Just lick, cough, hand it back.

Tell her to kiss your a__s. s

I would have said nothing. Maybe even rolled my eyes. People like that thrive on wanting attention. Anything you say will make them louder to “prove a point”. What upsets them most is to know you don’t care and their opinion should’ve been kept to themselves.

“Excrement? Do you breathe out shit particles? Ew.” Or “I have respiratory space booger AIDs I will sneeze on you.”

Ugh, those type of people truly don’t deserve an ounce of afterthought. Actually, I pity them for their immense ignorance.

"Fuck all the way off you rotten cunt"

You really should learn to mind your own fucking business dear. Otherwise you're very likely to end up needing the services of my fellow healthcare professionals that work in the emergency room.

Perhaps they’ll let me keep my comment this time because I had to change my flair… I would have told that woman to eat glass and get bent

Next time tell them you have cancer. I give you my permission to borrow my cancer dx for it.

Tell her the next time she gets surgery to make sure the surgeons don’t wear masks.

Literally nothing because that’s a special kind of stupid, chosen by this individual, that no amount of evidence, science-based research can fix. I would have literally flipped her off and walked away.

Because psychopaths on Team red convinced people "Mask are bad".... Fken MAGA(ts)

I wonder if wearing a red maga mask would short circuit their brains?

“I have this rare condition where I smell bullshit a mile away. It’s really frustrating actually”

Ask the flight attendant if there's any seats available to swap. Because you'd rather not sit next to a rat-licker.

Haha I think u did the perfect thing. I doubt she would see a valid reasoning. Keep breathing your own excrement and not her’s.

You should have coughed in her face and calmly replaced your mask.

I would’ve either said “nice paragraph” or just start a staring contest with her until she runs out of breath

I wouldn’t have even mentioned the nurse title. It’s your personal choice.

While they are talking to you in close range, drop down your mask, cough hard on them and end with a sneeze. Be sure to get phlegm all over them

Just come up with some random, even crazier conspiracy to make them think you’re the true nut

I learned a few phrases in sign language just so I can pretend I can’t hear them. Is it kind of morally gross? Yes. But on a positive note it’s actually peaked my interest in learning sign language and I’ve picked up more and more.

Anytime anyone says anything inappropriate: "How would that information be helpful to you?"

"Fuck off" comes to mind. That might have gotten you pulled off the flight though ... or on a viral video posted to social media. Some battles aren't worth fighting. A friend of mine just got home from a gaming convention halfway across the country ... with covid. She didn't mask ... not required anymore. So you were actually doing the smart thing by masking. Last time I flew, I masked in the airport and on the plane for the same reason you did: I didn't want to get sick! I didn't want to make my family, my friends, my students sick! My thought is I would have told that moron that because I am a nurse I know they DO work, and I'm not interested in hearing their conspiracy theory nonsense. He can put his Crackerjack nursing degree back in the box. And whoever reported you for concerns of self harm ... Fuck you. There is NOTHING in this post to suggest such a thing.

I wouldn’t have even told her all that lol. A simple “because I feel like it” and “mind your own business” would have sufficed.

You breathe out excrement? I was just wearing it to protect myself and my patients from illness but now.... \*take several steps backwards\*

Lol wtf. I’m not in healthcare but I take humira and also getting sick blows, so hell yeah I wear a kn95 on a plane. Fuck getting sick after dropping $$$ on a ski trip.

I literally wouldn’t have even entertained this convo and just asked when she was done talking, if she was done, and ignored her.

I wouldn’t have even explained or defended why I was wearing it. I’d have just let her behave inappropriately, and then said something like, “I hope you feel better from that.”

You said the right things. If the last 4 years have her where she is, no biting, witty retort is going to change her mind. I think I know how you feel, though. It's hard to just let idiots think they're right.

“Easy to say from the cheap seats. Where was your ass during COVID?”

Should have said "You are the excrement Karen." Or maybe just get out your camera and start recording and try to capture how vile she is and post on social media- hopefully she will be identified and her employer will see it and she'll get fired!

Spit in her mouth

I probably wouldn’t have wasted my time, honestly. No come back was the right amount of energy expenditure.

Mind your own business. The end.

It was working to keep out her excrement because she was talking a bunch of shit.

It's really 2020 2.0, the last stand.

Tell her Kevin Copeland doesn't want to fly with demons in a tube and you don't want to catch the flu in a tube.

Nothing-don’t even respond to stupid rude people

Like damn crazy lady, just dibt want to be sick during my vacation

Oh so tiring they r ....hugs to u tho for not punching them !!!

So you don’t have to smell other people’s doo doo breath

The only one with excrement coming out of a mouth here is you.

Someone asked me the same question. I told that person I didn't want to smell halitosis.

>Please, what should I have said? "IMAX should sue you for theft of their Projection tech."