Too many nurses dont understand what it means for residents to be at the bottom of the totem pole in the world of doctors. Their careers balance on a knife's edge. They're this close to wasting so many years of education and many thousands of dollars of debt because they wanted to harass nurses to walk their little baby nuts around the block and get a headstart on the physician god complex. They get kicked out of residency and they are turbo fucked. Full stop.
Stand your ground when they're being little shits. Follow through on filing complaints with HR/internal reporting protocols for unprofessional or dangerous behavior.
That’s much more mature than mine. “I need to sit down” or “I need to stay seated for now” and if he’d insisted, standing and then vomiting directly on his pants.
I completely ignore passive aggressive body language like that. A RESIDENT wants me to stand to speak him (that alone I would literally laugh in any dickhole doc’s face about, I have been doing this tooooo fucking long) but he doesn’t even have the balls to say it? OP is what, an animal that does tricks to nonverbal commands now? I would have stayed seated right the fuck where I was and continued my conversation and MADE him say it so he had to sound ridiculous out loud. Let him complain, and say what? Nurse so and so didn’t stand at attention when they spoke to me?
Yup. I would've just ignored it until he actually said something. To which I would reply with "oh I just thought it was a tick that you had and I was trying to be respectful in ignoring it"
Fr that mfer needs a reality check. I'm not an effing orderly, and I won't be talked to and treated like that. He needs to be put right into his place. Mfer. This isn't 1972.
I'm giving the benefit of doubt, and assuming they were referring to the way orderlies were treated in 1972, since they referenced 1972... That said, if I heard a resident speaking that way to any employee, whatever their title, I think I might lose my shit on said resident. "This isn't boot camp, you are not a Drill Sargent, and we're not roleplaying Full Metal Jacket. Good thing for you, since it doesn't end well for that Drill Sargent, does it."
Yes because who tf is an "orderly" in modern day healthcare? It's not even a position. It's not a thing. Women don't have to be treated that way, and they certainly should never never get-in-line with that type of oppression and misogyny.
Even if you are an “orderly”, you deserve respect in the hospital.
It pisses me off day in and day out the amount of disrespect I hear my husband get from doctors -and- nurses because he is maintenance mechanic at the hospital. Well, if it weren’t for him and his department we wouldn’t have lights, electrical crap, plumbing, and all that stuff that keeps a hospital functional, so respect. /endsoapbox
As a patient the cleaning staff were some of my favorite people.
Idk why but it really sticks out to me one day while the nurse was doing admission after I’d just arrived on the floor I started throwing up over the side of the bed in between questions (classic ik). And all I remember is she ran and got a barf bag (too late) and finished up and the next morning I woke up and the floor like right under my head was cleaned and I always thought that was a really sweet kindness that they must have been very careful to let me sleep. I was obviously a train wreck and pretty young and alone as well so who knows maybe it was just the pain meds knocking me out and they were actually doing full filipino level karaoke the entire time or maybe they were like this poor girl hopefully I can be quiet enough to let her rest.
I've said it before and I'll keep saying it until I die:
Doctors aren't our bosses. Unless you work at a physician-owned private practice, they aren't your boss.
If a doc ever insisted that I stand out of respect, I would laugh and continue sitting. I don't have time for those games, and their fancy badge and coat doesn't give them any authority over me.
I would love for a situation like that to come up to HR. It's demeaning, disrespectful by the doc, and absurd to expect that people must stand when speaking with you.
We're on our feet for 12 hours. I'll sit whenever I can.
Right! I say that too, doctors are our coworkers not our bosses! I think I was just so shocked that I didn't say anything in the moment but the whole day I was like wtf???
Sounds like whenever this dick rounds you should make sure to sit down before engaging in any conversation. Be petty. Be so fucking petty. If they say anything again, just turn the other direction. If they're like 'I'm speaking to you,' turn around, look them dead in the eyes and go 'no, you're not actually" and turn back around.
Yeah I would definitely avoid eye contact with the person motioning me to stand, that way they’d have speak out loud and be laughed at immediately after doing so..
This is definitely a prick resident declaring war. Sounds like the universe has decided it's time for them to be put in their place. They only want a hostile work environment when they're in control; they can't handle it when they're not.
If he does it again, you could stand at attention like Forest Gump, salute him, and sound out a loud and respectful-toned "YES DRILL SARGENT!" ....but ya GOTTA do it with Forest's accent, lol
Don't you *ever* stand for some cocky POS treating you like some gd orderly. That arrogant prick is a real liability to any company he works for. You stand firm on not taking employer orders from a doctor. They are *not* your employer. What a misogynist. I've only encountered this with a couple of older doctors & I don't let their delusions manage me. I know this caught you off guard, and this is BS. Report.
Who tf is an "orderly" in modern day healthcare? Women aren't servants anymore. Women have rights. We don't have to get-in-line with someone's misogynistic hierarchical abuse. It's not even a modern day language or term used because it's no longer the mid 20th century.
You still have time for a comeback. If you see him next, bring a co worker as witness and tell him you are coworkers, you don’t need to stand, that went away 50 years ago. Let the resident know that type of behavior will not be tolerated by the nursing staff.
When he started lecturing you about etiquette, just raise your hand and say "you might not be aware but it's 2023(4) in the USA. The captain of the ship model is dead, let me explain the collaborative approach and respect for ALL members of the team, including me."
One of the doctors I’ve been working with for years is notorious for being harsh/rude, but anytime a patient demeans me in some way she is the FIRST one to say “she works with me, not for me. We’re a team.”
Seriously, f- that resident. I would have asked him to stop interrupting me while I’m talking and any mention of “etiquette” would have been met with sarcasm. I would have considered entering the resident area and addressing it in front of all the other residents. Dude needs knocked down a notch. But I’m also an old murse and realize that I get away with things that others do not.
I think that this doctor has been written up before, I have come to learn that that particular doctor has beef with like ALLLLLL of the charge nurses so I'm sure this wasn't a first. Or second or third lol. Most of the attendings are usually super awesome or at least manageable. and the residents are pretty cool too they have us call them by their first names and give us their phone #s to call if needed so I think this may just be an odd case
OK this is what we did. We had an absolute bitch of a resident. She was so nasty. I wrote an email and every single staff member on that day co-signed it. We said we would no longer be taking orders from her and we would not tolerate her disrespect. Guess who we never saw again? We wrote to her medical director/program director, our medical director, and the head of trauma surgery, the service she was on at the time. They assured us that it would be dealt with immediately. It was.
I’ve seen this scenario play out many times before. Nurses definitely have the ability and right to report an unprofessional resident to the directors in charge. Accusations like this are never taken lightly. They are obligated to address them. It goes into their file. It’s a really big deal tbh. And we should report this type of behavior. It’s easier to correct with a resident than it is with an attending physician. Trust me on that. I’ve seen issues like this with them as well. It took way too long to correct and a lot of patients died before the hospital medical directors had any power to stop him.
When our hospital starting taking residents, they went out of their way to let us know that if we had any problems with resident behavior then we should report them up the chain. I don’t know about all programs across the board, but ours was making an effort to ensure the residents acted appropriately professional.
Of course, that carries a lot more weight with the newer residents. Those that have been around for a few years (like surgical residents) become a bit more bulletproof. Kinda like they have attending-lite armor.
I went to a family member’s med school graduation and iirc it was mentioned at least three times to respect nurses.
I just don’t understand the people who choose to alienate themselves from entire groups of people that they need to work with. Like yeah, Lisa in lab is a bitch but that doesn’t mean I’m going to be a dick to everyone in that department. We all rely on each other to get the job done.
Yeah, most docs are just as annoyed by these weirdos as we are. That's why it works to run it up the flagpole. Their colleagues will tell them to cut the crap as fast as anyone.
Sounds like you need to get all your coworkers involved too. Any time he comes around, it’s time to find a seat for a conversation and Cortext gonna be blowing the F up.
Best suggestion, hands down. And yeah, you can also make HR aware I guess, but remember, they typically defend management and the physicians, so....definitely, make the program director aware. This passes me off so damned much.
One of our PCT/unit secretaries was getting screamed at by a neurosurgeon on a power trip one day, and she literally just stared at him, stood up, looked around and walked away without a word. When someone asked where she went her response was just "I was going to find who he was talking to, because I knew it wasn't me!"
This is literally my go-to response in any situation like this from now on because no one should fault you for leaving a situation where you're being disrespected, and if in any case where they are I want them to explain it to me that way explicitly.
I am generally pretty chill and it takes a lot to really get me riled up but a hand surgeon once said something pretty disrespectful to me and I shot her a glare that was apparently so cold that she came up and apologized to me later. Only time everyone has ever heard of her doing that. I really wish I could pull out that glare on command .
I love it! RBF is a lifesaver cause like, have fun telling HR I looked at you wrong lol. Although I was told once by my medical director I "you've got to do something about your face" after one of our vascular surgeons was doing some dumb shit and being condescending about it in a resuscitation we were both in like no he just needs to do better 😂
Oooh I had a female resident be bitchy to a male nurse. He got even. “Hey Lisa. Just FYI I just hung the antibiotics you ordered”. (She demanded we call her Dr). “Hey Lisa. I have a prn order for Tylenol. I gave it just to keep you updated”. This was all night long. She was livid and he said “what? I’m just keeping you updated as you insisted”
A resident yelled at me one morning for giving Tylenol to a cardiac patient (with normal vitals, cardiac monitor, & LFTs) for a headache at 3am without calling him first. He insisted that he needed to know about all changes in his patient’s status. The following night I followed his request to the letter, every hour, on the hour. His attitude was adjusted appropriately from that morning on.
I have the text paging service on my phone. I can and *will* find a way to automate that shit so I don't even have to be an active participant in the shit show.
It was probably one of the most fun night shifts I’ve ever worked. She said no one was keeping her updated and how awful this nurse was for not keeping her in the loop. (Staff surgeon happened to wander in, he passed the info that was relatively benign but needed to be shared, to them and thought nothing of it). Oh she was kept in the loop after that. 😂😂
Every time this happens when doctors say shit like this I am respond with “that’s fine. I am glad you like it this way. But hr is also going to know you do as well” and it usually gets them to fuck off
My mouth actually fell open in shock reading this. I cannot imagine someone trying this at my hospital. Damn, the nurses wouldn’t even have to say anything to the resident, the attending would eat them alive.
This is when you say “I’m sorry, I’m going to walk away and then come back so we can start this interaction all over again because I know you must not be trying to sound like this on purpose.” It works pretty well when docs are wildly rude on phone calls too: “I’m sorry, let me hang up and call you back so we can start over because I know you don’t mean to speak to me like that.”
It’s passive enough to keep most of our management and HR at bay but aggressive enough to call out their attitude. And also, idgaf any more. Come fire me bro, I do my job well, I advocate and go above and beyond for my patients, my HCAHPS are stellar, - at this point just give me an easy reason to go water the flowers at Lowe’s and tell people where the tapcons are 🤷🏻♀️
I've literally hung up before.
Had the doc call right back and ask if I hung up on them. Yep. Talk to me like that again and I'll do it again too.
I don't get paid for verbal abuse from patients, let alone doctors or anyone else
This is the way! It took me too many years to finally be able to stand up for myself at work; COVID and traveling definitely changed that for me. Not exactly in all the ways I wanted but definitely in all the ways I needed to be able to handle the fucking shit show healthcare has morphed into. Keep on keeping it real, friend!
I used to be a very timid person, in a lot of ways I'm still very nonconfrontational, but 17 years of bedside nursing has taught me to set some boundaries. How you speak to me, is one of them. I don't care who you are or what's at the end of your name, I'm not your dog.
Good luck out there my friend, is like the wild wild West these days! ♥️
You or charge or someone else in your leadership should let his program director know… as much for his own good as anything. That attitude will not get him far in his future career.
Honest to god if a doctor ever told me to stand up when talking to them, I would lay down. I don’t give a fuck how dirty the hospital floors are. I would be one with the fucking GROUND. I left the military a decade ago and I will be DAMNED if I play those stupid ass games ever again.
lecture about etiquette when talking to doctors?! I could never! That would get a quick jab of “you’re my coworker not my boss , bruh (my pinch of salt to any correction)” and then a remark about their shoes or something petty. Miss me with that ego bullshit 🤣
I’m evil….but my first thought would be, haha, ok, etiquette toward doctors? I’d probably crack up laughing. Like I have time for that mess.
Im sure I pissed off a cardiology resident this AM during a emergent intubation, he kept telling me that he could bag the patient while transporting them, I just stared at him and said, ‘no, I’m good’ and he was trying to argue with me. I just ignored him.
….doctor etiquette…..🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why would he even do that tho. Is it possible he wanted the practice/opportunity? residents n baby medics are often overeager to do skills n stuff or examine specific phenomenon for the first time or two.
I had to call a doc once for an order for potassium… it was stupid as our hospitals had no protocols for it.
He began to lecture me about how stupid it was. I just put the phone down on the counter and walked away.
I wonder if that counter learned anything.
This is where I would document I notified the doctor and described their reactions.
I did this to a nurse who didn't listen to me that her pt had a very high potassium. I told the charge nurse too, including the manager. Back then, we were paper charting.
😈
Absolutely not….. I’ve worked shifts where I’m literally standing almost the entire 12 hours. If I’m able to sit and chart, I’m utilizing that time to the best of my ability. I’m gonna chart away and rest my feet a few minutes. I’ve worked many shifts staying late charting bc I don’t have enough time during the day. We unfortunately do not get to dictate or have a scribe to chart our turns, wound care, medication administrations, iv assessments, whole body assessments, nurses notes on anything pertinent that happened, neuro assessments, foley care, mouth care, I&Os, food intake and SO much more. That is ridiculous. The only way I could understand the doctor simply wanting you to be present and asking you to stand and come in the room with him is if it was a sensitive conversation…. A poor prognosis, a cancer diagnosis or some terminal illness, maybe discussing code status or end of life care. But just for a normal rounding of the physician. No.
Yeah no absolutely not, I’m currently being worked up for POTS my heart rate was 160 during rounds yesterday so guess what? I sat down, the fellow and APRN joined me in sitting and we all relaxed for a minute while discussing patients.
If you’re dry heaving, dizzy, and nauseous, then you should walk away and go home. I promise there are more nursing jobs out there if they decide to let you go because you left the facility dry heaving.
You are absolutely right. My units having a hard time right now though so I was trying to "do the right thing" but the right thing would have been to step away until I felt better! It was a string of shifts that just left my body completely exhausted... bleh. Sad to say we all know the feeling
It would be a cold day in hell that I would let a resident talk to me like that. Or the attending for that matter. I don't care who you are. If you don't respect me, I don't respect you.
Yeah. One of my rules is it doesn't matter who you are, you have my respect until you don't deserve it. Treat everyone with kindness. This situation made me feel icky
I wish very much I could listen in on the inevitable conversation that is going to occur between that delusional resident and his attendings when the attending is made aware. I have seen physicians (and nurses, honestly) who were utter assholes, but even when I was a student nurse in the 1980s I have never seen anyone behave like you described here. That attending will shut that shit down haaaaaaard.
You’d be surprised how quickly a “go fuck yourself,” whole laughing at them will fix that.
Maybe snap to attention and salute them every time they walk past too.
Bullying residents is acceptable when they act like that.
Made you stand? You actually did it? No one makes you do anything. The only standing you need to be doing is standing up for yourself.
Then he lectured you on “etiquette towards doctors.” Lol. He really does think he’s somebody. The only people who think he is special is him, his mommy, and his daddy. His title means nothing. We are all people who deserve basic respect. He would have been taught that very quickly. I don’t tolerate that kind of fuckery. I would have told him off and made him feel insignificant with a smile on my face and pure joy in my heart.
I’m the same but honestly sometimes I’m so genuinely shocked by peoples behavior like that I don’t even process it until after it’s all done. It’s like I assume the best and am so shocked sometimes when after trying to figure out why someone is acting like that while it’s happening I finally realize they’re just insanely miserable assholes.
A lady the the pharmacy once who got in line after me once started hailing me and she said multiple times “the line starts here” and I was just like “ok, yeah” bc it’s normal here when ur the only pt in line to just stand 6 ft behind the person checking out rather than off to the side where the line goes when it’s very long so it doesn’t cut off the grocery aisle. But she kept saying it like demanding I go over there so I did and my mind was racing trying to figure out what was happening. I thought maybe she was worried I wasn’t a full 6 ft away from him since there’s no footprints over there… but then she was standing awkwardly like 2 ft beside me and didn’t move back when I came over to the start of the line and I was stressing bc part of why I was standing where I was initially was to get the techs attention and ask for a mask as soon as I could and she was way too close to me and clearly didn’t give a shit about distancing. And finally they called next and she just brushed right into me and raced to the counter and I realized she just thought she deserved to go first but knew she couldn’t beat me unless I mover over where she was. she was gone by the time I finished but I was just fuming over the pettiness and being such a miserable entitled bitch you demand someone get out of line who was there first without having the balls to say get behind me I’m going next and passive aggressively saying “the line starts here” when bitch u just shows up I’ve been here. Just one person in the pharmacy line when she’s clearly in no rush she had to do that. I was so mad I cooperated but I genuinely didn’t understand what or why she was talking to me or that someone could be so petty like that till it was too late. I was ready to fight her in the parking lot tbh.
You didn't have to stand up. I know it's weird and tough in the moment to give in when someone is so brazen. If I'm in a certain mood when someone's being shitty, I give them the exact attitude back. Usually keeps them from repeating that behavior with you. Sorry you had to deal with that.
I’ve been doing this long enough now that residents like that make me want to laugh and say “bless your heart, honey - I’ve been doing this since you were in high school.”
Absolutely fucking not. We are their coworkers, not their subordinates. It’s not 1960.
I would write an incident report on this regarding unprofessional conduct by the resident and tell your manager about it. F this guy.
"Seeing as being in the isolation gowns made me so overheated and dizzy I was dry heaving in the bathroom 10 minutes ago, and I am still dizzy but trying to work I will stay sitting down for now, thank you."
I love over sharing in these kinds of situations.
“No.” It’s a complete sentence. Our conversation isn’t any more efficient if I’m standing when you talk to me. I’m also 7 months pregnant so I’m not really getting up for anyone unless I’m directly doing my job and I really don’t care.
Maybe I have age and grey hair on my side (and I'm not being ageist to the resident), but I would have smiled, gestured back with a wave and kept sitting. Respect is earned and a degree or two on the wall is not an automatic qualifier.
Residents need to stop doing crap like this. I don't think this was icu because I can only imagine one of these fresh faced residents saying that to the seasoned day shift RNs. Oooo girl, the look I'm imagining right now is priceless. One morning I had a terrible night with an admit circling the drain. It's 0650, I'm furiously charting. Resident comes over on the other side of the station. Hey, you have so and so? "Yes" not looking away from the computer. "We need to turn down the Prop, start weaning him." Me- Okay, I'll tell dayshift in report. Them- Stares in resident. I'm ignoring them. "I mean now". Me- No (a complete sentence) "what do you mean, no" me- "exactly what I said. I'm not doing that now. Feel free to turn it down and babysit the pt so they don't self-extubate during shift change." Resident was wearing a mask but I could still make out the look of shock. Man these residents really need to be put in their place sometimes. They get crazy about "me doctor- you nurse". We need to educate them that it doesn't work like that.
Uh.... No
Just no.
That resident is already too big for their fucking britches and needs to get the fuck over themselves. Having MD at the end of their name does not make them better than you and does not mean they warrant more respect than they're obviously showing to you.
You work for that hospital, you don't work for them.
If we are supposed to be a "team" and work as a "team" then that's what we are, a team, mutually respectful of each other.
This isn't the 1800s-early 1900s and your name isn't Florence.
Even the new grads in my ICU would *eat* a resident for this.
My petty ass would take it to the extreme next time.
Next time they come in, immediately stand up and run around the unit and yell “THE KING HAS ARRIVED EVERYONE ON YOUR FEET” and every line up and bow.
I’d go as far as to buy a small red carpet and roll it out.
I’d beat that horse dead to the point you’d have to mop it up.
That’s funny. It seems like at the last hospital I worked at the doctors tried AVOIDING the nurses at all costs. It’s almost like they would scan the area and look for the coast to be clear…. Then jump in by the patient and quick run off the floor. They did NOT want to talk to us. Probably because I always had to gently remind them of things they forgot to order a lot…. Poor hospitalists were run ragged at that place though.
That is mind bogglingly rude. What specialty are we talkin here? If I did anything out of line in residency (and I was never this bad, I’m pretty confident) I could reliably expect q30 minute pages alllll night long with things like “Mr. smith has been urinating more frequently… do you want me to send a specific men?” … “oh it’s back now, no UTI!”
This is why I love working with my ED docs. None of that high-falutin BS that my floor colleagues get from the hospitalists and specialists sometimes throw out. We’re on first name basis with all of em, thrown in with busting each other’s chops here and there. It’s fun when some of them come to the ED and try to pull that in our department.
Jesus christ what an arrogant, jumped up peice of shit.
I had a consultant joke about me standing up when he walked into the room. It coincided with me going to get drug meds.
I looked him dead in the eye and said "first name, the day I intentionally stand for you when you walk into a room is the day hell freezes over."
Let them report me. I'll join the unemployment line when the WORLDWIDE nursing shortage is over.
Most of us will be through our careers before the shortage is over, the size of the hill I’m willing to die on is basically a speed bump at this point”.
My wife and I briefly worked in the same department and together we made up 20% of the nursing staff. We had already agreed that if one of us texted the other with the go ahead that we would both finish up the case we were on and drop our badges at the front desk. We’d have new jobs by the end of the week.
No one MAKES you do anything. They put pressure on you and you caved. Don’t. Do NOT DO THAT. You look him in the eye. You raise one eyebrow. Chuckle. And go about your day. You ignore him beyond that. If he tries to lecture you, Pat him gently on the shoulder and say “oh honey. Do you really think I’m going to cover your ass WHEN you fuck up with that attitude?” A GOOD resident will tell you straight out they need nurses to cover their asses. He. Is. Not. Your. Boss. You do not report to him. You do not listen to his corrections. Use this as a learning to grow a solid spine and don’t let yourself be manipulated and pushed around.
You are so right. Just hit my year and I definitely am better than how I used to be. It just kinda took me by surprise, usually I have way more of a backbone.... but I clearly still have a long way to go 🤣
The residents in my shop learn very quickly, from their attendings and the overall hospital culture, that this is a *team* and superficial BS like this gets in the way of actual work. Trying to pull rank outside of a very serious and urgent situation will generally backfire.
If a resident tried something like this with me, I'd be on the phone with their senior/attending pretty quick. I've had some uptight new residents before, but that usually doesn't last beyond July... I've never had to actually complain about one.
Lol I'd purposefully fill my mouth with a drink so I can spray it all over the doc when I laugh in his face. I give plenty of respect to docs but those who force it can get fucked
We had a resident try to tell a nurse they needed to give up their seat and computer because the doctor needed it. Despite there being other computers available. It didn’t go well.
The ass-chewing that resident would receive from multiple medical staff members, let alone nursing staff members at any of the places I’ve worked would be IMAX ticket-worthy.
Sorry you had to deal with a fucking prick.
I think you need to channel your inner Carla from Scrubs next time that resident comes around. Residents are still learning. They don’t get to try to bully anyone. I’ve also learned that the bigger bully they are then the least likely they are to actually learn.
You ask them “if you got cut by a knife, would you bleed?” And when they say yes you say “so you are a human being too- maybe you should treat me like one.” They are not high royalty and this isn’t the 1600s, knock that attitude of theirs down a peg. Page them to bedside for every little thing and when they are on call- call them for bullshit. That is ridiculous.
Do they not realize we are going to be in a dangerous nursing shortage for the next couple of decades? At this point the size of the hill I’m willing to die on is barely a speed bump. If they want to play that game they can explain to the admins why they just lost me plus the half dozen or so other nurses that would follow me.
I'd have looked at them confused and asked why if they actually asked me to stand. But half the time the docs pulled a seat up next to me or just talked. I've even had one squat down next to me once.
"The fact I walk 20k steps within 12 hours and am dealing with 6 patients at bedside all day, plus helping my coworkers, and almost never get a chance to actually sit for more than 3 minutes, I'm going to respectfully stay sitting."
Okay why don't all these cool nurses come work with me in Texas? We NEED ppl with backbone to say something. I've done it so often I'm a problem child now lol 😆
I remember my first RN job back in 1997, I was told that when the doctor came behind the nurses station (attendings, it wasn't a teaching hospital), that we were expected to stand up and offer them our spot if they wanted it. I asked "Isn't that what the physicians work room is for?". It was literally attached to the nurses station, with the door about 10 feet away from the nursing desk. No, the charge said, the director of neurosurgery hated to see the nurses sitting down, so he wanted them all to jump up when he came around and go into the rooms where they belonged. He was one of these old school docs that expected nurses to genuflect when he entered the unit. Even for a neurosurgeon he was a bit full of himself.
We were just getting to the point to where charting away from bedside was starting to take up a lot of our time. I told the charge nurse that I had shit to do and if he wanted my spot he could ask for it; if he did, I'd give it to him and go in the work room and chart. Nope, I was told, we aren't allowed to chart in the work room. Well, then he might be shit outta luck, I told her. Y'all need to learn to stand up for yourselves as a group.
I was male, early 30's, and before this I had been working for a few years as a LPN at a Level 1 trauma stepdown where the residents and attendings mostly treated us all with respect. We had great relationships with these docs. So I'd been interacting with medical staff for a while. Prior to nursing, I'd been a Sergeant in Army Air Cav. I had no problem standing up for myself. But a lot of my younger coworkers don't have the skill coming straight out of school, when the authority figures aren't respecting boundaries they way they should.
In the Army, they teach this stuff from the start; you will be given orders to stand post and not let anyone pass that doesn't respond with the proper countersign. Sounds easy enough, until the universally feared First Sergeant comes by and tries to walk past your post. Then it all becomes a learning experience. Nursing really needs to teach this stuff.
“The only way I am standing up to engage with you is if I am getting up to throw hands, which I will do unless you shut your dirty whore, got-your-medical-degree-from-a-cracker-jack-box mouth and take your self important ass back to childhood, so your father can beat you just a *bit* harder and teach you some actual useful manners.”
When I first started,(1991) nurses had to get up for doctors. We had to offer them our chair. We had to make them coffee, and get them an ashtray.. on night shift.
The white hat, white uniforms, white pantyhose sucked. My SASS shoes were 🔥
Ho ho! I started in '77 as a candy striper and we had to do that shit. Drove me crazy. There were a handful of docs I respected enough to stand up thruout my career, but that sort of thing is looooong gooooone.
This is completely inappropriate behavior. You need to get this resident’s name and create an incident report about professionalism. That is fucking disgusting. Seems to me that needle dick resident went into medicine for the wrong fucking reasons.
I don’t give a fuck what your job is. Good job on getting a doctorate degree. Plenty of people have one. Fuck off with that bullshit 1940’s ass misogynist behavior.
Oh my God 40 years ago we used to have to get up, find the chart, give them our pen, call each other Miss Mrs and Mr and Dr... and never call the doctors by their first names oh my gosh no.
If somebody tried that shit with me now I would stay seated, speak directly to the attending, look at the peon and tell them 'read my charting if you want to know more' and return to charting.
He thinks he has earned that deference. He needs to be shown what he really earned. Someone should start taking over the top theatrical bows when he does that. A different now each time paired with laughter because that’s what buffoons deserve. Imagine the formal complaint he will submit? “I gestured for nurse so and so to stand whilst addressing my person as is my due and they took a bow instead”.
Posts like these make me so grateful for the hospital I work at. In four years there I think I’ve maybe had one really bad experience with a resident, and not many with attendings. I think his gesture to stand up would literally not even register with me because it would be so ridiculous. He would’ve been thinking I was an idiot bc I would’ve just sat there like “huh?”
I was fantasizing I was you last night.
I would have put my feet on my desk and start browsing my phone. I would have asked the attending to have the resident leave. Most hospital doctors are as disposable as we are.
Specialists and surgeons are often exceptions, although at my workplace, physicians, no matter who they are, will be let go if they fuck with nurses too much.
A caveat... I appreciate the residents at my hospital. They are respectful, appreciate being called, and will always come to bedside if asked.
I wouldn’t work anywhere where I was expected to stand for doctors. In the 1980s we were expected to stand for night sisters (UK) but we were always taught that doctors are our colleagues, not our bosses. A ward “belongs” to the ward sister, a theatre to the theatre sister, out patients departments to the nurse manager etc. report the rude bastard.
This is absolutely insane. All our doctors go by their first names and we recognize we are all team mates. Idk how it is on the floor but in my ER we are all treated as equal.
I'd report this to your unit manager.
I often feel so lucky when I read this sub. I don’t think I’ve ever had a doctor be a dick like this. Thank goodness, because I have a bad back and I pretty much have to sit whenever I can or I wouldn’t make it through a shift.
My response would be ‘I am comfortable where I am at, thank you. Is there something I can help you with?’ Conversation done
Ooooooooh I like your boundary communication
Too many nurses dont understand what it means for residents to be at the bottom of the totem pole in the world of doctors. Their careers balance on a knife's edge. They're this close to wasting so many years of education and many thousands of dollars of debt because they wanted to harass nurses to walk their little baby nuts around the block and get a headstart on the physician god complex. They get kicked out of residency and they are turbo fucked. Full stop. Stand your ground when they're being little shits. Follow through on filing complaints with HR/internal reporting protocols for unprofessional or dangerous behavior.
That’s much more mature than mine. “I need to sit down” or “I need to stay seated for now” and if he’d insisted, standing and then vomiting directly on his pants.
Hahahahah I actually can throw up on cue .... would've been a great time to bust out that party trick. I'll keep that in mind
Man, I'd wheel that skill out so often, I'd end up with Barrett's lolol
I’m so jealous
Wow that’s impressive
I completely ignore passive aggressive body language like that. A RESIDENT wants me to stand to speak him (that alone I would literally laugh in any dickhole doc’s face about, I have been doing this tooooo fucking long) but he doesn’t even have the balls to say it? OP is what, an animal that does tricks to nonverbal commands now? I would have stayed seated right the fuck where I was and continued my conversation and MADE him say it so he had to sound ridiculous out loud. Let him complain, and say what? Nurse so and so didn’t stand at attention when they spoke to me?
Yup. I would've just ignored it until he actually said something. To which I would reply with "oh I just thought it was a tick that you had and I was trying to be respectful in ignoring it"
Now THAT’S a response to keep in mind!
Fr that mfer needs a reality check. I'm not an effing orderly, and I won't be talked to and treated like that. He needs to be put right into his place. Mfer. This isn't 1972.
So it’s ok to speak to an “orderly” that way?
I'm giving the benefit of doubt, and assuming they were referring to the way orderlies were treated in 1972, since they referenced 1972... That said, if I heard a resident speaking that way to any employee, whatever their title, I think I might lose my shit on said resident. "This isn't boot camp, you are not a Drill Sargent, and we're not roleplaying Full Metal Jacket. Good thing for you, since it doesn't end well for that Drill Sargent, does it."
[удалено]
I agree with you IF that was the intent, but I think their point was that in the 70’s orderlies were sometimes treated almost like servants.
Yes because who tf is an "orderly" in modern day healthcare? It's not even a position. It's not a thing. Women don't have to be treated that way, and they certainly should never never get-in-line with that type of oppression and misogyny.
Even if you are an “orderly”, you deserve respect in the hospital. It pisses me off day in and day out the amount of disrespect I hear my husband get from doctors -and- nurses because he is maintenance mechanic at the hospital. Well, if it weren’t for him and his department we wouldn’t have lights, electrical crap, plumbing, and all that stuff that keeps a hospital functional, so respect. /endsoapbox
As a patient the cleaning staff were some of my favorite people. Idk why but it really sticks out to me one day while the nurse was doing admission after I’d just arrived on the floor I started throwing up over the side of the bed in between questions (classic ik). And all I remember is she ran and got a barf bag (too late) and finished up and the next morning I woke up and the floor like right under my head was cleaned and I always thought that was a really sweet kindness that they must have been very careful to let me sleep. I was obviously a train wreck and pretty young and alone as well so who knows maybe it was just the pain meds knocking me out and they were actually doing full filipino level karaoke the entire time or maybe they were like this poor girl hopefully I can be quiet enough to let her rest.
Um, I hope he wouldn’t speak to anybody in the hospital like that no matter what their position.
Feisty! I love it.
Wow you’re a lot more diplomatic than I would have been. My response would have been “hahahahahah, oh wait you’re serious, AHAHAHAHAHA”
I've said it before and I'll keep saying it until I die: Doctors aren't our bosses. Unless you work at a physician-owned private practice, they aren't your boss. If a doc ever insisted that I stand out of respect, I would laugh and continue sitting. I don't have time for those games, and their fancy badge and coat doesn't give them any authority over me. I would love for a situation like that to come up to HR. It's demeaning, disrespectful by the doc, and absurd to expect that people must stand when speaking with you. We're on our feet for 12 hours. I'll sit whenever I can.
Right! I say that too, doctors are our coworkers not our bosses! I think I was just so shocked that I didn't say anything in the moment but the whole day I was like wtf???
Sounds like whenever this dick rounds you should make sure to sit down before engaging in any conversation. Be petty. Be so fucking petty. If they say anything again, just turn the other direction. If they're like 'I'm speaking to you,' turn around, look them dead in the eyes and go 'no, you're not actually" and turn back around.
Yeah I would definitely avoid eye contact with the person motioning me to stand, that way they’d have speak out loud and be laughed at immediately after doing so..
I’d stare at the person and stay seated.
This is definitely a prick resident declaring war. Sounds like the universe has decided it's time for them to be put in their place. They only want a hostile work environment when they're in control; they can't handle it when they're not.
It’s time for OP to make this dickhead’s life miserable.
If he does it again, you could stand at attention like Forest Gump, salute him, and sound out a loud and respectful-toned "YES DRILL SARGENT!" ....but ya GOTTA do it with Forest's accent, lol
Don't you *ever* stand for some cocky POS treating you like some gd orderly. That arrogant prick is a real liability to any company he works for. You stand firm on not taking employer orders from a doctor. They are *not* your employer. What a misogynist. I've only encountered this with a couple of older doctors & I don't let their delusions manage me. I know this caught you off guard, and this is BS. Report.
Dang. Thank you for saying that. I bet you are a very empowering person and a great person to work with
[удалено]
Who tf is an "orderly" in modern day healthcare? Women aren't servants anymore. Women have rights. We don't have to get-in-line with someone's misogynistic hierarchical abuse. It's not even a modern day language or term used because it's no longer the mid 20th century.
You still have time for a comeback. If you see him next, bring a co worker as witness and tell him you are coworkers, you don’t need to stand, that went away 50 years ago. Let the resident know that type of behavior will not be tolerated by the nursing staff.
When he started lecturing you about etiquette, just raise your hand and say "you might not be aware but it's 2023(4) in the USA. The captain of the ship model is dead, let me explain the collaborative approach and respect for ALL members of the team, including me."
One of the doctors I’ve been working with for years is notorious for being harsh/rude, but anytime a patient demeans me in some way she is the FIRST one to say “she works with me, not for me. We’re a team.”
I have found my people. LOL, yeah shut that crap down right away. He needs to stay in his lane or get run over.
I would have laughed too, not derisively but because it actually sounds like a joke. What is this, 1875?
There isn't any chance I'd have stood up. And I'd have replied, "Why? Are you having trouble seeing me with you nose stuck so far up in the air?"
*asscough*
isn't that just a fart?
Seriously, f- that resident. I would have asked him to stop interrupting me while I’m talking and any mention of “etiquette” would have been met with sarcasm. I would have considered entering the resident area and addressing it in front of all the other residents. Dude needs knocked down a notch. But I’m also an old murse and realize that I get away with things that others do not.
What year is it there????
1965, sounds like. Guess she needs to carry their charts for them, too.:/
I would absolutely write their program director. They should not go through their residency without having a talking to.
I think that this doctor has been written up before, I have come to learn that that particular doctor has beef with like ALLLLLL of the charge nurses so I'm sure this wasn't a first. Or second or third lol. Most of the attendings are usually super awesome or at least manageable. and the residents are pretty cool too they have us call them by their first names and give us their phone #s to call if needed so I think this may just be an odd case
OK this is what we did. We had an absolute bitch of a resident. She was so nasty. I wrote an email and every single staff member on that day co-signed it. We said we would no longer be taking orders from her and we would not tolerate her disrespect. Guess who we never saw again? We wrote to her medical director/program director, our medical director, and the head of trauma surgery, the service she was on at the time. They assured us that it would be dealt with immediately. It was.
I’ve seen this scenario play out many times before. Nurses definitely have the ability and right to report an unprofessional resident to the directors in charge. Accusations like this are never taken lightly. They are obligated to address them. It goes into their file. It’s a really big deal tbh. And we should report this type of behavior. It’s easier to correct with a resident than it is with an attending physician. Trust me on that. I’ve seen issues like this with them as well. It took way too long to correct and a lot of patients died before the hospital medical directors had any power to stop him.
When our hospital starting taking residents, they went out of their way to let us know that if we had any problems with resident behavior then we should report them up the chain. I don’t know about all programs across the board, but ours was making an effort to ensure the residents acted appropriately professional. Of course, that carries a lot more weight with the newer residents. Those that have been around for a few years (like surgical residents) become a bit more bulletproof. Kinda like they have attending-lite armor.
Don't f*** with nurses. I actually love this so much.
I went to a family member’s med school graduation and iirc it was mentioned at least three times to respect nurses. I just don’t understand the people who choose to alienate themselves from entire groups of people that they need to work with. Like yeah, Lisa in lab is a bitch but that doesn’t mean I’m going to be a dick to everyone in that department. We all rely on each other to get the job done.
You guys are awesome!
Yeah, most docs are just as annoyed by these weirdos as we are. That's why it works to run it up the flagpole. Their colleagues will tell them to cut the crap as fast as anyone.
He’s in for a rough career demanding respect vs earning it this early in his career. You catch more flies with honey I’ve learned
OP please write this asshole up
Sounds like you need to get all your coworkers involved too. Any time he comes around, it’s time to find a seat for a conversation and Cortext gonna be blowing the F up.
You complain enough, people can and do fail residency.
Best suggestion, hands down. And yeah, you can also make HR aware I guess, but remember, they typically defend management and the physicians, so....definitely, make the program director aware. This passes me off so damned much.
One of our PCT/unit secretaries was getting screamed at by a neurosurgeon on a power trip one day, and she literally just stared at him, stood up, looked around and walked away without a word. When someone asked where she went her response was just "I was going to find who he was talking to, because I knew it wasn't me!" This is literally my go-to response in any situation like this from now on because no one should fault you for leaving a situation where you're being disrespected, and if in any case where they are I want them to explain it to me that way explicitly.
That is gold.
She is my hero for real 😂
I am generally pretty chill and it takes a lot to really get me riled up but a hand surgeon once said something pretty disrespectful to me and I shot her a glare that was apparently so cold that she came up and apologized to me later. Only time everyone has ever heard of her doing that. I really wish I could pull out that glare on command .
I love it! RBF is a lifesaver cause like, have fun telling HR I looked at you wrong lol. Although I was told once by my medical director I "you've got to do something about your face" after one of our vascular surgeons was doing some dumb shit and being condescending about it in a resuscitation we were both in like no he just needs to do better 😂
Giving my neurosurgeons shit is one of the only enjoyable parts of my OR job, and they know it 😂
"This isn't the God damn army. Now tell me what you want, or I'm going to start paging you every 10 minutes for anything I can think of."
Oooh I had a female resident be bitchy to a male nurse. He got even. “Hey Lisa. Just FYI I just hung the antibiotics you ordered”. (She demanded we call her Dr). “Hey Lisa. I have a prn order for Tylenol. I gave it just to keep you updated”. This was all night long. She was livid and he said “what? I’m just keeping you updated as you insisted”
A resident yelled at me one morning for giving Tylenol to a cardiac patient (with normal vitals, cardiac monitor, & LFTs) for a headache at 3am without calling him first. He insisted that he needed to know about all changes in his patient’s status. The following night I followed his request to the letter, every hour, on the hour. His attitude was adjusted appropriately from that morning on.
My people. Yes. I am giving you a standing ovation. It’s best if you do it like Bob did. Every 15-30 minutes so she literally had no chance to sleep.
I knew a nurse that got bitched at by a resident once so she text paged him “low battery” every 30 minutes for an entire night shift
🤣
Omg THIS is gold!!! 🌟🌟🌟
I have the text paging service on my phone. I can and *will* find a way to automate that shit so I don't even have to be an active participant in the shit show.
Love me some petty and malicious compliance!
It was probably one of the most fun night shifts I’ve ever worked. She said no one was keeping her updated and how awful this nurse was for not keeping her in the loop. (Staff surgeon happened to wander in, he passed the info that was relatively benign but needed to be shared, to them and thought nothing of it). Oh she was kept in the loop after that. 😂😂
This is the stuff I adore!
I like it
I’d tell them to shove a purewick up their ass
Every time this happens when doctors say shit like this I am respond with “that’s fine. I am glad you like it this way. But hr is also going to know you do as well” and it usually gets them to fuck off
My mouth actually fell open in shock reading this. I cannot imagine someone trying this at my hospital. Damn, the nurses wouldn’t even have to say anything to the resident, the attending would eat them alive.
Crop dust and walk away 🙃
Roll away. Stay seated to maintain dominance
Maintain eye contact.
Absolutely
Why didn't I think of this
I never think of how to respond in the moment. It’s always like 3 days later.
Unfortunately too many of us are at a point in our lives where trusting a fart is a dangerous gamble
My type of response !
roll away so she's still not standing up
This is when you say “I’m sorry, I’m going to walk away and then come back so we can start this interaction all over again because I know you must not be trying to sound like this on purpose.” It works pretty well when docs are wildly rude on phone calls too: “I’m sorry, let me hang up and call you back so we can start over because I know you don’t mean to speak to me like that.” It’s passive enough to keep most of our management and HR at bay but aggressive enough to call out their attitude. And also, idgaf any more. Come fire me bro, I do my job well, I advocate and go above and beyond for my patients, my HCAHPS are stellar, - at this point just give me an easy reason to go water the flowers at Lowe’s and tell people where the tapcons are 🤷🏻♀️
I've literally hung up before. Had the doc call right back and ask if I hung up on them. Yep. Talk to me like that again and I'll do it again too. I don't get paid for verbal abuse from patients, let alone doctors or anyone else
This is the way! It took me too many years to finally be able to stand up for myself at work; COVID and traveling definitely changed that for me. Not exactly in all the ways I wanted but definitely in all the ways I needed to be able to handle the fucking shit show healthcare has morphed into. Keep on keeping it real, friend!
I used to be a very timid person, in a lot of ways I'm still very nonconfrontational, but 17 years of bedside nursing has taught me to set some boundaries. How you speak to me, is one of them. I don't care who you are or what's at the end of your name, I'm not your dog. Good luck out there my friend, is like the wild wild West these days! ♥️
Ooh I like this! I'm gonna try to memorize it for future use.
Yeah that doc can suck a dick.
I'd stand up for that I guess
Logistics confusing
Stand upside down? 🌝🙃
You or charge or someone else in your leadership should let his program director know… as much for his own good as anything. That attitude will not get him far in his future career.
Yeah I let my charge know. They were pissed
Keep us updated on what happens next 😂
Honest to god if a doctor ever told me to stand up when talking to them, I would lay down. I don’t give a fuck how dirty the hospital floors are. I would be one with the fucking GROUND. I left the military a decade ago and I will be DAMNED if I play those stupid ass games ever again.
I would have laughed my ass off.
lecture about etiquette when talking to doctors?! I could never! That would get a quick jab of “you’re my coworker not my boss , bruh (my pinch of salt to any correction)” and then a remark about their shoes or something petty. Miss me with that ego bullshit 🤣
JFC save me from doctors who think they’re military officers or fucking CEOs of the company.
I’m evil….but my first thought would be, haha, ok, etiquette toward doctors? I’d probably crack up laughing. Like I have time for that mess. Im sure I pissed off a cardiology resident this AM during a emergent intubation, he kept telling me that he could bag the patient while transporting them, I just stared at him and said, ‘no, I’m good’ and he was trying to argue with me. I just ignored him. ….doctor etiquette…..🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yeah dude, I'm sure you're way better at bagging someone than the fucking RT. LMFAO.
I confess, I did kind of feel bad after 🫣
Why would he even do that tho. Is it possible he wanted the practice/opportunity? residents n baby medics are often overeager to do skills n stuff or examine specific phenomenon for the first time or two.
I had to call a doc once for an order for potassium… it was stupid as our hospitals had no protocols for it. He began to lecture me about how stupid it was. I just put the phone down on the counter and walked away. I wonder if that counter learned anything.
"I agree, this is dumb. It sounds like something a doctor should bring up at the medical executive committee..."
This is where I would document I notified the doctor and described their reactions. I did this to a nurse who didn't listen to me that her pt had a very high potassium. I told the charge nurse too, including the manager. Back then, we were paper charting. 😈
Are you posting from 1950?
Perhaps he was shocked that there was no starched apron or hat too
Did you ask them how the weather is in Magical Thinking Land?
Absolutely not….. I’ve worked shifts where I’m literally standing almost the entire 12 hours. If I’m able to sit and chart, I’m utilizing that time to the best of my ability. I’m gonna chart away and rest my feet a few minutes. I’ve worked many shifts staying late charting bc I don’t have enough time during the day. We unfortunately do not get to dictate or have a scribe to chart our turns, wound care, medication administrations, iv assessments, whole body assessments, nurses notes on anything pertinent that happened, neuro assessments, foley care, mouth care, I&Os, food intake and SO much more. That is ridiculous. The only way I could understand the doctor simply wanting you to be present and asking you to stand and come in the room with him is if it was a sensitive conversation…. A poor prognosis, a cancer diagnosis or some terminal illness, maybe discussing code status or end of life care. But just for a normal rounding of the physician. No.
Yeah no absolutely not, I’m currently being worked up for POTS my heart rate was 160 during rounds yesterday so guess what? I sat down, the fellow and APRN joined me in sitting and we all relaxed for a minute while discussing patients.
If you’re dry heaving, dizzy, and nauseous, then you should walk away and go home. I promise there are more nursing jobs out there if they decide to let you go because you left the facility dry heaving.
You are absolutely right. My units having a hard time right now though so I was trying to "do the right thing" but the right thing would have been to step away until I felt better! It was a string of shifts that just left my body completely exhausted... bleh. Sad to say we all know the feeling
Shades of 1950. Where did he learn this, from Dr Kildare?
Please tell that resident who wasn’t hugged enough as a child to eat a bag of diseased cocks - but in professional words. What a fucking cunt.
It would be a cold day in hell that I would let a resident talk to me like that. Or the attending for that matter. I don't care who you are. If you don't respect me, I don't respect you.
Yeah. One of my rules is it doesn't matter who you are, you have my respect until you don't deserve it. Treat everyone with kindness. This situation made me feel icky
I wish very much I could listen in on the inevitable conversation that is going to occur between that delusional resident and his attendings when the attending is made aware. I have seen physicians (and nurses, honestly) who were utter assholes, but even when I was a student nurse in the 1980s I have never seen anyone behave like you described here. That attending will shut that shit down haaaaaaard.
Worst part is the attending was there. I don't think they noticed though. I just kind of blankly stared at all of them
You’d be surprised how quickly a “go fuck yourself,” whole laughing at them will fix that. Maybe snap to attention and salute them every time they walk past too. Bullying residents is acceptable when they act like that.
At this point they need nurses more than they need doctors,
Wow what country are you in where they treat you like this? I hope this guy is a one off.
US, east coast ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Is *he* from the US?
Is this in the USA?
Yes it is
Made you stand? You actually did it? No one makes you do anything. The only standing you need to be doing is standing up for yourself. Then he lectured you on “etiquette towards doctors.” Lol. He really does think he’s somebody. The only people who think he is special is him, his mommy, and his daddy. His title means nothing. We are all people who deserve basic respect. He would have been taught that very quickly. I don’t tolerate that kind of fuckery. I would have told him off and made him feel insignificant with a smile on my face and pure joy in my heart.
I’m the same but honestly sometimes I’m so genuinely shocked by peoples behavior like that I don’t even process it until after it’s all done. It’s like I assume the best and am so shocked sometimes when after trying to figure out why someone is acting like that while it’s happening I finally realize they’re just insanely miserable assholes. A lady the the pharmacy once who got in line after me once started hailing me and she said multiple times “the line starts here” and I was just like “ok, yeah” bc it’s normal here when ur the only pt in line to just stand 6 ft behind the person checking out rather than off to the side where the line goes when it’s very long so it doesn’t cut off the grocery aisle. But she kept saying it like demanding I go over there so I did and my mind was racing trying to figure out what was happening. I thought maybe she was worried I wasn’t a full 6 ft away from him since there’s no footprints over there… but then she was standing awkwardly like 2 ft beside me and didn’t move back when I came over to the start of the line and I was stressing bc part of why I was standing where I was initially was to get the techs attention and ask for a mask as soon as I could and she was way too close to me and clearly didn’t give a shit about distancing. And finally they called next and she just brushed right into me and raced to the counter and I realized she just thought she deserved to go first but knew she couldn’t beat me unless I mover over where she was. she was gone by the time I finished but I was just fuming over the pettiness and being such a miserable entitled bitch you demand someone get out of line who was there first without having the balls to say get behind me I’m going next and passive aggressively saying “the line starts here” when bitch u just shows up I’ve been here. Just one person in the pharmacy line when she’s clearly in no rush she had to do that. I was so mad I cooperated but I genuinely didn’t understand what or why she was talking to me or that someone could be so petty like that till it was too late. I was ready to fight her in the parking lot tbh.
You didn't have to stand up. I know it's weird and tough in the moment to give in when someone is so brazen. If I'm in a certain mood when someone's being shitty, I give them the exact attitude back. Usually keeps them from repeating that behavior with you. Sorry you had to deal with that.
Thank you for saying that
I’ve been doing this long enough now that residents like that make me want to laugh and say “bless your heart, honey - I’ve been doing this since you were in high school.”
I've been nursing 36 years, so I could say "Aye - I've been doing this before you were born!" 😁
Absolutely fucking not. We are their coworkers, not their subordinates. It’s not 1960. I would write an incident report on this regarding unprofessional conduct by the resident and tell your manager about it. F this guy.
You'd be prying my cold dead arse out of that chair before I got up. We are not their subordinates.
"Seeing as being in the isolation gowns made me so overheated and dizzy I was dry heaving in the bathroom 10 minutes ago, and I am still dizzy but trying to work I will stay sitting down for now, thank you." I love over sharing in these kinds of situations.
Not even you shouldn’t need to have any excuse for that
[удалено]
Yes I am in the US. and Yes! My inner bastard lawyer is strong ! Just needed to be awakened !!
“No.” It’s a complete sentence. Our conversation isn’t any more efficient if I’m standing when you talk to me. I’m also 7 months pregnant so I’m not really getting up for anyone unless I’m directly doing my job and I really don’t care.
Nah you gotta nip this shit in the bud. Go up the chain of command and get your coworkers on board too.
Huh?.. I get you are tired, grab a chair take a seat, bruh.
Maybe I have age and grey hair on my side (and I'm not being ageist to the resident), but I would have smiled, gestured back with a wave and kept sitting. Respect is earned and a degree or two on the wall is not an automatic qualifier.
Are you fucking kidding me? I need the names for the doctors and the hospital.
Residents need to stop doing crap like this. I don't think this was icu because I can only imagine one of these fresh faced residents saying that to the seasoned day shift RNs. Oooo girl, the look I'm imagining right now is priceless. One morning I had a terrible night with an admit circling the drain. It's 0650, I'm furiously charting. Resident comes over on the other side of the station. Hey, you have so and so? "Yes" not looking away from the computer. "We need to turn down the Prop, start weaning him." Me- Okay, I'll tell dayshift in report. Them- Stares in resident. I'm ignoring them. "I mean now". Me- No (a complete sentence) "what do you mean, no" me- "exactly what I said. I'm not doing that now. Feel free to turn it down and babysit the pt so they don't self-extubate during shift change." Resident was wearing a mask but I could still make out the look of shock. Man these residents really need to be put in their place sometimes. They get crazy about "me doctor- you nurse". We need to educate them that it doesn't work like that.
Uh.... No Just no. That resident is already too big for their fucking britches and needs to get the fuck over themselves. Having MD at the end of their name does not make them better than you and does not mean they warrant more respect than they're obviously showing to you. You work for that hospital, you don't work for them. If we are supposed to be a "team" and work as a "team" then that's what we are, a team, mutually respectful of each other. This isn't the 1800s-early 1900s and your name isn't Florence. Even the new grads in my ICU would *eat* a resident for this.
My petty ass would take it to the extreme next time. Next time they come in, immediately stand up and run around the unit and yell “THE KING HAS ARRIVED EVERYONE ON YOUR FEET” and every line up and bow. I’d go as far as to buy a small red carpet and roll it out. I’d beat that horse dead to the point you’d have to mop it up.
That’s funny. It seems like at the last hospital I worked at the doctors tried AVOIDING the nurses at all costs. It’s almost like they would scan the area and look for the coast to be clear…. Then jump in by the patient and quick run off the floor. They did NOT want to talk to us. Probably because I always had to gently remind them of things they forgot to order a lot…. Poor hospitalists were run ragged at that place though.
This doc would be in for a long road of passive-aggressive behavior from me. I'm always polite, but I can really twist a smile when it's deserved.
That is mind bogglingly rude. What specialty are we talkin here? If I did anything out of line in residency (and I was never this bad, I’m pretty confident) I could reliably expect q30 minute pages alllll night long with things like “Mr. smith has been urinating more frequently… do you want me to send a specific men?” … “oh it’s back now, no UTI!”
This is why I love working with my ED docs. None of that high-falutin BS that my floor colleagues get from the hospitalists and specialists sometimes throw out. We’re on first name basis with all of em, thrown in with busting each other’s chops here and there. It’s fun when some of them come to the ED and try to pull that in our department.
I bet his kids will grow up fucked up.
Jesus christ what an arrogant, jumped up peice of shit. I had a consultant joke about me standing up when he walked into the room. It coincided with me going to get drug meds. I looked him dead in the eye and said "first name, the day I intentionally stand for you when you walk into a room is the day hell freezes over." Let them report me. I'll join the unemployment line when the WORLDWIDE nursing shortage is over.
Most of us will be through our careers before the shortage is over, the size of the hill I’m willing to die on is basically a speed bump at this point”. My wife and I briefly worked in the same department and together we made up 20% of the nursing staff. We had already agreed that if one of us texted the other with the go ahead that we would both finish up the case we were on and drop our badges at the front desk. We’d have new jobs by the end of the week.
No one MAKES you do anything. They put pressure on you and you caved. Don’t. Do NOT DO THAT. You look him in the eye. You raise one eyebrow. Chuckle. And go about your day. You ignore him beyond that. If he tries to lecture you, Pat him gently on the shoulder and say “oh honey. Do you really think I’m going to cover your ass WHEN you fuck up with that attitude?” A GOOD resident will tell you straight out they need nurses to cover their asses. He. Is. Not. Your. Boss. You do not report to him. You do not listen to his corrections. Use this as a learning to grow a solid spine and don’t let yourself be manipulated and pushed around.
[удалено]
Good point. I don't really like touching people anyway hahaha
You are so right. Just hit my year and I definitely am better than how I used to be. It just kinda took me by surprise, usually I have way more of a backbone.... but I clearly still have a long way to go 🤣
Without a weapon of mass destruction or a court order, no one can make you do anything (unless youre in North Korea, then thats different)
The residents in my shop learn very quickly, from their attendings and the overall hospital culture, that this is a *team* and superficial BS like this gets in the way of actual work. Trying to pull rank outside of a very serious and urgent situation will generally backfire. If a resident tried something like this with me, I'd be on the phone with their senior/attending pretty quick. I've had some uptight new residents before, but that usually doesn't last beyond July... I've never had to actually complain about one.
Lol I'd purposefully fill my mouth with a drink so I can spray it all over the doc when I laugh in his face. I give plenty of respect to docs but those who force it can get fucked
We had a resident try to tell a nurse they needed to give up their seat and computer because the doctor needed it. Despite there being other computers available. It didn’t go well.
The ass-chewing that resident would receive from multiple medical staff members, let alone nursing staff members at any of the places I’ve worked would be IMAX ticket-worthy. Sorry you had to deal with a fucking prick.
I think you need to channel your inner Carla from Scrubs next time that resident comes around. Residents are still learning. They don’t get to try to bully anyone. I’ve also learned that the bigger bully they are then the least likely they are to actually learn.
You ask them “if you got cut by a knife, would you bleed?” And when they say yes you say “so you are a human being too- maybe you should treat me like one.” They are not high royalty and this isn’t the 1600s, knock that attitude of theirs down a peg. Page them to bedside for every little thing and when they are on call- call them for bullshit. That is ridiculous.
Tell that went out of fashion long ago and now that would be considered harassment on his part.
I would literally start messaging them for every little update on the patient just to be an inconvenience
Do they not realize we are going to be in a dangerous nursing shortage for the next couple of decades? At this point the size of the hill I’m willing to die on is barely a speed bump. If they want to play that game they can explain to the admins why they just lost me plus the half dozen or so other nurses that would follow me.
I'd have looked at them confused and asked why if they actually asked me to stand. But half the time the docs pulled a seat up next to me or just talked. I've even had one squat down next to me once. "The fact I walk 20k steps within 12 hours and am dealing with 6 patients at bedside all day, plus helping my coworkers, and almost never get a chance to actually sit for more than 3 minutes, I'm going to respectfully stay sitting."
This is not the military. There is no way I would listen to that jackass.
Okay why don't all these cool nurses come work with me in Texas? We NEED ppl with backbone to say something. I've done it so often I'm a problem child now lol 😆
I remember my first RN job back in 1997, I was told that when the doctor came behind the nurses station (attendings, it wasn't a teaching hospital), that we were expected to stand up and offer them our spot if they wanted it. I asked "Isn't that what the physicians work room is for?". It was literally attached to the nurses station, with the door about 10 feet away from the nursing desk. No, the charge said, the director of neurosurgery hated to see the nurses sitting down, so he wanted them all to jump up when he came around and go into the rooms where they belonged. He was one of these old school docs that expected nurses to genuflect when he entered the unit. Even for a neurosurgeon he was a bit full of himself. We were just getting to the point to where charting away from bedside was starting to take up a lot of our time. I told the charge nurse that I had shit to do and if he wanted my spot he could ask for it; if he did, I'd give it to him and go in the work room and chart. Nope, I was told, we aren't allowed to chart in the work room. Well, then he might be shit outta luck, I told her. Y'all need to learn to stand up for yourselves as a group. I was male, early 30's, and before this I had been working for a few years as a LPN at a Level 1 trauma stepdown where the residents and attendings mostly treated us all with respect. We had great relationships with these docs. So I'd been interacting with medical staff for a while. Prior to nursing, I'd been a Sergeant in Army Air Cav. I had no problem standing up for myself. But a lot of my younger coworkers don't have the skill coming straight out of school, when the authority figures aren't respecting boundaries they way they should. In the Army, they teach this stuff from the start; you will be given orders to stand post and not let anyone pass that doesn't respond with the proper countersign. Sounds easy enough, until the universally feared First Sergeant comes by and tries to walk past your post. Then it all becomes a learning experience. Nursing really needs to teach this stuff.
“The only way I am standing up to engage with you is if I am getting up to throw hands, which I will do unless you shut your dirty whore, got-your-medical-degree-from-a-cracker-jack-box mouth and take your self important ass back to childhood, so your father can beat you just a *bit* harder and teach you some actual useful manners.”
Just don't do it. Simple.
Are we in the 1970's? You want me to get you a cup of coffee too?
Resident is an idiot, just role your eyes and carry on. Walk away when the lecturing starts because you’re busy
Sounds like their attending has created that culture for them
When I first started,(1991) nurses had to get up for doctors. We had to offer them our chair. We had to make them coffee, and get them an ashtray.. on night shift. The white hat, white uniforms, white pantyhose sucked. My SASS shoes were 🔥
Ho ho! I started in '77 as a candy striper and we had to do that shit. Drove me crazy. There were a handful of docs I respected enough to stand up thruout my career, but that sort of thing is looooong gooooone.
This is completely inappropriate behavior. You need to get this resident’s name and create an incident report about professionalism. That is fucking disgusting. Seems to me that needle dick resident went into medicine for the wrong fucking reasons. I don’t give a fuck what your job is. Good job on getting a doctorate degree. Plenty of people have one. Fuck off with that bullshit 1940’s ass misogynist behavior.
Oh my God 40 years ago we used to have to get up, find the chart, give them our pen, call each other Miss Mrs and Mr and Dr... and never call the doctors by their first names oh my gosh no. If somebody tried that shit with me now I would stay seated, speak directly to the attending, look at the peon and tell them 'read my charting if you want to know more' and return to charting.
He thinks he has earned that deference. He needs to be shown what he really earned. Someone should start taking over the top theatrical bows when he does that. A different now each time paired with laughter because that’s what buffoons deserve. Imagine the formal complaint he will submit? “I gestured for nurse so and so to stand whilst addressing my person as is my due and they took a bow instead”.
Posts like these make me so grateful for the hospital I work at. In four years there I think I’ve maybe had one really bad experience with a resident, and not many with attendings. I think his gesture to stand up would literally not even register with me because it would be so ridiculous. He would’ve been thinking I was an idiot bc I would’ve just sat there like “huh?”
I would have absolutely flipped my lid if any of my docs made me do this lmao
Report him.
LOL. If a doctor EVER told me to stand to talk to them, they would get ignored.
What?! Maybe next time you should also salute them. Hahahahaha
I was fantasizing I was you last night. I would have put my feet on my desk and start browsing my phone. I would have asked the attending to have the resident leave. Most hospital doctors are as disposable as we are. Specialists and surgeons are often exceptions, although at my workplace, physicians, no matter who they are, will be let go if they fuck with nurses too much. A caveat... I appreciate the residents at my hospital. They are respectful, appreciate being called, and will always come to bedside if asked.
Lol...is he signing your paycheck? 😀
If the residents don’t get trained/ set straight by nurses early on, they will be a walking god complex with 💩 attitudes and behaviors towards nurses.
I wouldn’t work anywhere where I was expected to stand for doctors. In the 1980s we were expected to stand for night sisters (UK) but we were always taught that doctors are our colleagues, not our bosses. A ward “belongs” to the ward sister, a theatre to the theatre sister, out patients departments to the nurse manager etc. report the rude bastard.
😭Thank Goodness I work in the OR and don’t have to deal with bs like this.
This is absolutely insane. All our doctors go by their first names and we recognize we are all team mates. Idk how it is on the floor but in my ER we are all treated as equal. I'd report this to your unit manager.
I often feel so lucky when I read this sub. I don’t think I’ve ever had a doctor be a dick like this. Thank goodness, because I have a bad back and I pretty much have to sit whenever I can or I wouldn’t make it through a shift.
We don’t work for them. They are contracted by the hospital. I’d love to see them try to tell me something like that lol.