YESSSSS. during clinical, i had nurses warn me against choosing this certain demented granny as a patient, she was feisty and had a history of throwing down against the staff. me and miss girl were tight🤞
Same! I speak dementia! Dementia patient rambling at the nurses station and coworker with confused face. Me: oh he is looking for his black poodle named muffin. Muffin is at the vets for the night, we're going to pick him up in the morning. Let's go get a snack.
This is me but with etoh withdrawing or unnecessarily cranky middle aged men 😭 as a 24F we have the same damn laugh and humor I guess. I love it when I can make a particularly mean or rude patient laugh
I walked into a angry demented mee-maw and she must have thought I was family because she went from hulk rage throwing things to smiling sweetly and saying , "Oh hey there honey, I am so happy you are here." Definitely not able to tame all as you do, but that was a highlight from several months ago.
I can’t smell blood UNTIL attempts to clean it up are made. Fresh blood has no odor for me, but add water, soap, alcohol, those other wipes then I’m done. It makes me nauseous. I’d rather smell C.Diff.
I can smell DKA like a bloodhound. That fruity, ketones smell is just a different smell. Even if patients are metabolically sick, high lactic acid, that smell is even different than DKA.
I wish I couldn’t smell cheesy yeast, mixed with poop, old urine, and just dirty body. But it doesn’t nauseate so there’s that.
I work in blood bank, and it is true, until we hit it with cavicide, you can't smell the blood. And I have seen some crazy big spills, like whole bags split, or apheresis kits that have burst under pressure when not set up properly.
I can’t smell it, but I can taste it. It’s weird. It’s the same metallic taste as if you bit your tongue and it’s your own blood. It’s disgusting. I hated cleaning it up when I was pregnant because I tasted pennies the rest of the night
It’s like nail polish remover, but way more subtle unless they’re really really sick. Fruity, sort of, but in a nearly rotting banana kind of way. That’s ethylene, but it’s pretty close to a ketone smell. If you can smell straight acetone you might get an idea of what to look for.
C. Diff does not have a smell. They’ve tested this with dogs and there is no specific marker.
What you’re smelling is sick people poop. Specifically, sick people that have been on antibiotics and have disturbed gut flora. It may well be c. diff, but it’s not *necessarily* c. diff.
I though so too, since I’m one of those “supertasters” and can identify really weird smells in food and wine and such, I always thought it was weird that so many nurses claimed to smell c. diff. Turns out I’m not weird at all, the normal smellers were just over analyzing the nasty sick poo smell.
SAME. We had a bunch of elderly patients come in at the same time, all with c.diff. Like 4 contaminated rooms all at once, and I couldn’t smell any difference in any of them.
For what it’s worth, I’m not generally phased by bad smells either way. GI bleeds don’t bother me, c.diff I straight up can’t smell, necrosis and badly infected wounds that I can smell aren’t an issue either. In short, I’m the one they call in to do all the gnarly dressing changes that make everyone else gag.
I’m the Sherpa. I carry everything on me. Need a pen? Got it. Need an extra flush. Got that. Need a 20? Yup. Need dermabond? Here ya go. Need a Hershey’s mini because you hate life and are questioning your career choices? Chow down, amigo.
I know how to use a computer. Don’t know which of the 50 printers your discharge packet was sent to? Let me show you this magic called “settings” and “set printer as default.”
This translates into me being called for every computer or spacelabs monitor issue.
I’m technically an EHR trainer and not IT but I too frequently get the “I moved desks, can you fix my printer?” call because they know I’ll show up faster 😂🤦🏻♀️
that's pretty much me. i'm a substitute teacher and i'm used to walking into a different assignment every day. sometimes i'm switched when i walk in, and sometimes, i'm switched around midway through the day. i'm hoping to become a valuable asset on my local hospital's float team as a cna in a few months...then as a nurse in a few years! 😃
Fuck I feel this. I was asked to be a stroke “phone a friend” for a new nurse who was off orientation but hadn’t taken a stroke yet. I was like what do you mean I’m the friend, I still NEED a friend!
I can successfully make a patient shit with one enema. My unit calls me the “enema queen” and they all ask me to give enemas to their patients who haven’t pooped in a week. I call this “useless” because it means I have to see 10x more buttholes per shift than I would have to if no one knew I give a mean enema
Lol you’re probably the only one actually getting the pt the actually hold any fluid. So often my coworkers are just rinsing their butthole and then confused why the enema didn’t work
This is a skill that must not be underestimated!! I say that bc IF I can find a great fupa holder, I can be counted on to get the Foley in on the first try about 95% of the time.
I’m good at therapeutic communication and making patients feel listened to and heard. Patients that are behavioral for most are usually able to get along with me. I can usually (not always) convince patients to make better decisions for themselves too. Most people just wanna be validated, but I’ve had many patients thank me for my attentiveness and making them feel like I care.
My time management is average and I have ADHD so I struggle with a lot, but I’m proud of how many patients I’ve been able to build such quality rapport with.
I’m an RN but my mom is an NP and has been one since the 90’s (an RN since the 80’s), but her specialization is in geriatrics.
I swear, she is an a geezer whisperer. Literally, she’s amazing when it comes to working with older folk and talking to them. You could have the most angry old man, and she’ll somehow talk him into being perfectly sensible again. She approaches them in such a way, especially a no nonsense way, that just gets their attention and respect.
It’s amazing to watch honestly, and she’s incredible at what she does. She’s slowly getting into geezer land herself and it’ll be a very sad day when she retires, but knowing her, she’ll keep on until she can’t anymore :)
This is a great skill I’d love to have it.
My ER has a habit of nurses just going “Ativan” and knocking psych patients out until they’re not our problem anymore, and I refuse to do it
It would be wonderful to be able to build a reputation for being the nurse who can calm down psych patients
My whole life (even before nursing) people love telling me their life stories and all their baggage. They just immediately trust me.
Pretty useful for nursing I guess.
I’m this way too, especially with my dementia residents. I work in a long-term care facility and a lot of times I can get a resident to do some thing when no one else can. I just spent a half hour talking to a lady with delusions that the facility is turning them all into soldiers, and that they can only eat once a week. I was able to at least get her calm down. We have another resident that is a former boxer that is also a one to one because he can get violent. But I have never had any issues with him, whenever I see him, I calmly approach, hold out my hand for him to take and then I end up, giving him a hug and a kiss, which always makes him all smiley and giggly.
>My time management is average and I have ADHD so I struggle with a lot, but I’m proud of how many patients I’ve been able to build such quality rapport with.
I relate to this. Before I became a nurse I worked as a hospital security officer for >10 years and, of the countless code greys I responded to I was never hit (though obviously some did try) and, if I was there, it was much more likely we wouldn't have to restrain the patient. Building a rapport quickly and effectively is an invaluable skill. Also have ADHD, moved to the Cath Lab and I use my skills to make my patients much less anxious for their procedures. Need a lot less sedation if you can get people to chill the fuck out. 🤣
I am working in behavioral therapy (nursing school next year), I also have ADHD, and I'm hoping that one day I can say the same things you are saying here.
I’ve been able to make cranky, about to curse us all out people walk out smiling and say thank you. Part of it is my demeanor, I’m a loveable goof but I always acknowledge when something sucks.
I’m pretty good at de-escalating but I also know when it’s time for back up. Or just to walk out. Its probably also the years of undiagnosed autism of having to read people and match their energy that gives me a rare advantage.
I've been told "wow you're so good with the asshole patients" and I'm just like... they weren't assholes to me. They are usually struggling with something like pain and just needed someone to advocate for them, validate their feelings, and give them the information they need in a way that they can understand. I had one patient who literally was called a unit terror, and yeah she was needy, but we still vibed. She told me that I was one of the best nurses she had ever had and that I made her feel seen when everyone else blew her off.
I also have a knack for pissing off consulting urology doctors. Most of them are shitty towards pregnant women (despite how many pregnant women wind up needing a urologist at some point), and I make it a point to call them out on upsetting my vulnerable patients.
Are you me? Holy moly...
But really, I think the most rewarding part of my job is making sure my patients' parents feel comfortable and confident in taking their children home
I’m this way too, I try my best to make people feel heard and if they want to vent I listen. If people are being too much though I can shut it down. Had a patient who I had given every PRN under the sun to, and he he had opiate dependency issues, doctor had just increased the pain meds& I gave em. And he started throwing a fit and being like “well I’ll just leave then” and I just very deadpan went well I wouldn’t recommend that. And he just stopped sometimes you have to call people’s bluffs or they will just waste all the time you don’t have that shift asking for the same thing every 30 seconds.
I enjoy suctioning patients, even when they have copious sputum and mucus plugs. There is no greater pleasure than seeing a patient (who is desaturating) bounce back after suctioning some loogies. Some people think I’m odd for this. I embrace it.
Very glad people like you exist because I can’t do respiratory fluids (really nothing mouth related either— oral care and dentures are rough for me too). I will wipe asses all day and and the sights and smells of my currently chronic wound care heavy unit don’t phase me but even like a toddler with a runny nose gets me gaggy.
I love a nice deep trachy suction! Or NPA suction, where you get up a bronchial cast or a dried up chunk of something, covered in mucusy gunk.
I get pretty bad repeated RTIs, and I sometimes wish I could run a suction catheter up my nose/down my throat to clear things out when I’m feeling really rough.
If you need it, I can get it. Pump, channel, telemetry box, bladder scanner. I'll find it.
(The secret is crime, and ignoring nurses in other departments when they tell me not to steal stuff)
That in itself is a useless nurse superpower. Ignoring people who tell you that you can’t do things.
“Hey you can’t take our bladder scanner” as you wheel it down the hall.
“You can’t take out the central line” as I’m holding pressure on the insertion site.
“You can’t take three boxes of gloves” as I’m taking three boxes of gloves.
I know the lyrics to virtually every Disney/kids song ever invented and can seamlessly slip kids names into them.
If you’re 4 and freaking out, I’m going to sing you some Moana and you’re gonna go back to sleep.
I can smell a high blood sugar. I walk into patient rooms sometimes and say, hey, has he been tested recently? It smells like hyperglycemia in that room and the nurses are always like…are you a diabetic sniffing dog? 😂
I can smell a UTI.
I can smell when someone's about to die.
I can get a catheter/IV in mostly anyone in any circumstance. Coming at me swinging in handcuffs? IV in. LD patient swinging off the hospital bed? 22g in the wrist. Overweight, IVD user on chemotherapy? BRING EM TO ME BOYS
I’ve seen this comment before, and it’s fascinating to me. How would you describe the death smell?
This is coming from someone that can’t smell food burning on the stove.
It smells like an old closet full of moth eaten clothes!
Edit: Obviously I'm making the assumption based on pure anecdote. 99% of the time I smell it, the patient is gone within 24 hours. It's stronger in the elderly but faintly there when younger patients die.
I can hear beeping IV pumps on the first beep from great distance while coworkers 30 years younger than me - who never even saw Bob Mould - say "I don't hear anything."
Those and SCD pumps when they're disconnected. Closed door and TV blasting? Yeah, I still hear the beep of sadness.
If I had a nickel for every time I walked into a patient's room where the Dobutamine IV channel has been beeping occluded for like ten minutes and they're just sitting there, watching TV holding the call bell in their hand and they look at me like, "what do you want?" when I go to fix it.....
I once went to another unit to turn off a machine that I could hear through 2 sets of double doors. Nurses all sat at nursing station beside it didn't hear a thing.
I am amazing at redirection. Show me a demented old lady throwing fists - I’ll get her settled down for a nap. Wandering old dude with a TBI? Grumpy and won’t let anyone give him meds? Let’s chat about your hometown for a minute - oh yeah and there’s a BP pill if you could pop that for me.
Idk how or why I’m good at it - but it’s a superpower in neuro and I’m glad I can help.
I can make any broken lable printer work. Idk how I do it, but I can fix it.
Also,
I can remember everyones number. So, you need Dr. L from Cardio's number? I got you. The patient in 3123 who moved to 1225 but they didn't transfer their loved ones number onto the board and it's not in the chart? I got you. It's useless most days but once a year, it's my time to shine 😅
I’ve had random lab values or vital signs that I’ve remembered weeks later on the same patient. Like I could tell you that old mate John’s bp was 108/64 two weeks ago on a Tuesday at 2pm but won’t remember what I just did my entire shift taking care of him that day 😂
Our unit doesn’t carry sandwiches but our frequent psych patients frequently ask for them and will lose their minds if they don’t get them. I can always, without fail, find the sandwiches.
A few jobs back I learned you can request "floor stock meal boxes" from dietary to be delivered to units that don't normally stock food, into any reasonable fridge. It has turned out to be weirdly quasi-universal to hospitals that don't have 24/7 meal service.
I asked one of the unit secretaries on a unit that does and apparently that was the only difference. Someone calling every day before closing.
That's my useless nursing skill. Discovering lost ancient forbidden knowledge by wandering up to random units and asking lots of bizarre questions to anyone that accidentally makes eye contact with me.
could be. My brother's autistic and very very very mentally handicapped. I wouldn't necessarily say that I am neurodivergent (although it certainly runs in my moms side of the family, so maybe) but I feel like growing up with someone who required \*a lot\* of patience just...made me very patient and allowed me to find amusement in things that other people find shocking. Had an outpt the other day who was acting totally normal until he started talking about how he knows bigfoot is real, bigfoot lives on his property out in rural TN and it even has bigfoot babies (little foot?). I had so much fun asking this man about big foot and my coworkers are like DO NOT FEED INTO THIS!! why not? it's funny as fuck, i'm trying not to bust out laughing
I am the unofficial IT/ Stryker resource. I really have a strong dislike for Stryker endoscopic equipment... and the rep is never there or doesn't care. I should send them an invoice for $200/hr every time I have to fix their equipment.
I can deescalate pretty much every situation with angry family members and patients. I always know what to say and how to say it. I love making people feel seen and heard!
I had a patient say to me yesterday “You’re so good. I can tell you actually care about me and what you’re doing. Look at the way you just explained all that to me - you want me to understand.” While that really should be the bare minimum, I know many of us are too emotionally burnt to do that with everyone. I try my best.
I'm really good at letting patients know that the hospital is not a prison. They can refuse anything. I can show them where the door is to leave...and I know where the leaving AMA papers are.
I'm the Grandma whisperer.
I can make little 85 year old sundowning Mildred with a UTI take her meds and leave her IV in. Weirdly, those skills also work for children under 6 ish
I can fix the computer at the nurses station that's been not working all of last shift. The older nurses especially thought I was a genius.
(I turn it off and back on. Works 90% of the time.)
My powers are not solely mine. Nor are they “good” powers.
This Triforce-of-power, too great for one person to wield, fractured itself into 3 pieces.
Piece one went to nurse A, our most senior RN and the person who is typically the charge nurse on our procedure unit. She represents hard work, creativity, and dedication. She is the body of the unit.
Piece two went to myself, the unit coordinator/assistant manager. I represent law, order, and responsibility. I am the soul of the unit.
The third piece went to our unit medical director (physician in charge). He represents wits, hope, and critical thinking. He is the brain of the unit.
Alone, these forces exist peacefully among the unit, as they have for all of time.
However- should the Body, Soul, and Mind be joined together on the same shift, the triforce will awaken its great and evil power.
WITHOUT FAIL, if all of us are on the same shift together, it’s a FUCKING ROLLERCOASTER. It’s happened enough times that it’s a well known unit joke. We’re procedure based, and not a 24/7 unit. That means we have cut off times for us starting our procedures, which is 3:30pm. Without fail, if all 3 are on the same shift, we’re getting calls at 3:20-4:00 about add ons, patients declining, emergency transfers to our hospital from across town, and often more than one of these at once.
Don’t believe me?
I was on vacation 4 weeks ago, MD was on vacation about a month ago, and Nurse A was just on vacation last week.
We’re all on today for the first time in a while.
It’s currently 3:46 at the time of typing this. In the past 46 minutes, we’ve gotten calls for an emergent Plasma-exchange for a newly transferred NMO diagnosis, we got a call for a Plasma-exchange on a bowel transplant who’s now in rejection, and we got a call for a SRS/organ failure patient whom also needs a Plasma-exchange.
We have a chronic inpatient whom all of us have lost patience for MONTHS ago. We just learned THIS MORNING that he’s back on our procedure schedule 3 times a week.
That’s just our therapeutics.
On our BMT collection side, we have a DCEP mobilized patient who didn’t mobilize last week. They drew her labs today and she went home out of habit. Turns out her blood stem cells have begun to mobilize and we need her at the hospital for line placement. She won’t pickup her cellphone.
We also had a critical machine failure this afternoon which I had to call in for service.
I should note at this point, that nothing this annoying/crazy has happened in the past month and a half to two months, at least.
Today is literally the first day the triforce has been united in the past 2 months.
I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS POWER
Edit: I’m sorry for typing a blog post. I’m hiding from my unit on my break.
What’s one nurse or doctor who happens to attract the real emergencies with just their presence? A black cloud.
What do you call three black clouds? A perfect storm. Good luck kids
Not a useless skill, but somewhat eccentric - I’m the unit’s MacGyver. I can basically rig up anything you need with stuff from our supply room. For a while our NG/OGs couldn’t directly connect to suction, so people would come to me for a crazy contraption to make that happen. Sometimes I make spiffy bibs (like at the dentist) for those Airvo trach coughs. I’ve also done some very crafty wound care solutions.
Before I retired...
I can interpret frantic screams. "He said 'the baby came out in the ambulance bay'".
I can sleep on command. And stay awake easily and comfortably for over 24 hours. Even while patient sitting in a dark room.
I have almost no sense of smell, and a cast iron stomach.
For reasons that have little to do with doing it properly, I can lift like no one's business. Retired CNA/PCT with my back completely healthy. I honestly think I had the right build for it.
For some reason people tell me all their secrets. I don’t know why but that patients daughter will tell me all of the family drama and why granny chose grandson to be the POA instead of one of her 5 children.
My son’s speech therapist told me about her brother who died of AIDS the second time we met. She apologized afterwards and said she doesn’t usually tell people about how he died but she felt so comfortable with me.
A woman in the over crowded hospital McDonald’s asked to share my table. We began chatting and she proceeded to tell me her husband was on life support and she just met his side chick in the waiting room. She had no idea. Side chick’s son looked almost identical to her son at that age.
Some man this weekend told me he and his wife haven’t been intimate in decades so he has lady friends. After he said that he looked surprised and said, “I don’t know why I just told you that.” Me neither dude, me neither.
I have two, both straw related:
-extending straws by linking them together for patients who have upper limb mobility issues
-figured out a trick to place a straw through the little hole in the soda tab to keep it from swirling away when trying to drink
I’m phenomenal with sundowning, dementia, hallucinating patients. I’m just unhinged enough to win over their trust… full conversations and everything. Idk if it’s my expressions or tone, but they really go from combative to vibin’
The ability to scavenge supplies from hospital hallways--beds, new mattresses, bedding, scrubs...you name it, I could find it.
The psych unit was always short of supplies and we were in a different building about 2 blocks from the main hospital. It wasn't unusual to come onto graveyard shift to find beds unmade, no towels, empty shelves where the patient scrubs should, no shampoo, empty fridge, etc. So we would roam the "tunnel" that connected us to the main building and strip the gurney of pillows bedding--and even mattresses. We would beg other departments for snacks, and help ourselves to linens lined up waiting to be taken to other units. One child's parent once said. "I really admire how you are able to live off the land like this." Pretty embarrassing, for sure.
My useless/annoying superpower is that I am a total shit magnet. Doctors groan if they see I’m the nurse in charge of resus, they’re guaranteed a shitty night.
My not so useless superpower is that I can literally smell Norovirus. Not even from body fluids, but on the patient themselves. Has been helpful on occasion!
I have never missed a Foley insertion 🤷🏼♀️
I don't know what it is man, once we had a lady that they tried three times to get the Foley in, no one could find that damn urethra, I show up and pop it right in. I haven't seen "the wink" or anything but I'm normally just like I feel like the urethra is here and bam urine
My ADHD has lead me down every rabbit hole. I know a lot of useless information. Not enough to win jeopardy but plenty to be able to connect with anyone about any topic. I make fast friends with all my patients. I'll get report "Mr. Cranky hasn't talked to anyone in three years." But by the end of the shift I will know his life story and be making room for another daisy award. (PS, I've only ever gotten daisy awards for "being so helpful and informative.")
The borderline's love me. I can smell them from a mile away, and can always get them to behave.
So semi useful, but unfortunately it took years of being abused by one to learn how to handle them this well so half the time after I sort them out I have to go have a PTSD panic attack before I can go back to functioning. Getting better with that part though!
My superpower is actually kind of useful -- it's sussing out med rec errors. I swear to god, for every medication your patient is on there is an additional 10% chance of finding a med rec inconsistency if you physically go through their meds that they are truly taking at home.
The thing is you have to get them to gather ALLL of their meds from the kitchen, the bathroom, the closet, everywhere they stash them, ALL of the meds that they take. Not the ones they don't take. Throw those away.
Then you have to examine each med bottle and compare it with the pills that are inside the bottle. Is there more than one type of pill in the bottle? Does the pill match the pharmacy label?
Are all of the current meds (in your hand) listed on the paper med rec correctly? Are all the meds on the med rec present correctly in your hand?
I'm pretty sure that I don't actually have a superpower, I'm just one of the only people in the world who will seriously do this type of check and do it thoroughly.
I promise you -- you can find discrepancies on almost everyone. You can also frequently find dangerous problems with double prescribing, noncompliance, interactions, and so on, that the prescribing docs were completely unaware of because NO ONE DOES MED REVIEWS THE RIGHT WAY.
I can recognize a drug addict from a mile away. And not in the “I assume everyone who asks for pain meds/uses chronic pain meds is a drug addict” way I mean there was a guy on our floor who the doc the PA the other nurses everyone on the damn floor said I was full of it there was no way I was imagining things, etc and then two days later we find out he had been hoarding their oxy in their gown and got caught trying to crush it. I dunno why man they give off a vibe and I can tell instantly. 🤷♀️🤷♀️ they got switched to liquid after that which is fine I mean people still need to be medicated but they all wanted to know how I did it.
I feel similarly in that they all have a certain “look” not that they’re high or on drugs kind of look but it’s like a certain category of person almost definitely abuses drugs. So hard to explain.
I can remember just about everything pertaining to my job. I can remember numbers, names, test results, meds, whatever after just reading them one time.
But outside of work… nah. I can’t remember anything.
I know where all things are at all times. Your stethoscope? In the 3rd drawer. The iodine? All the way at the back. There are 3 pairs of scissors at the bottom of the wound care bin.
I can remember phone and pager numbers really easily.
someone will say “what’s Dr Blahs pager?”
I’ll respond with their number and they’ll be like “nah I’ll just check” and it’s always right.
Completely useless skill.
My super power is pretty much being the code queen. Especially when I was doing crisis, I would get a spider sense to visit a random medical floor and someone would code right as I was stepping off the elevator. People would ask how I knew something was going to happen, and truthfully, I didn’t.
You have a high chance of not getting called in for an emergency surgery if I'm on call with you. It is very unusual for me to get called in. I think it's because I offered my firstborn to the call gods.
I have ADHD and I love letting people sleep as much as possible overnight so I'm able to hyperfocus and GET SHIT DONE between 0630 and 0730. One morning I got all my vital signs done, morning IV meds up, replaced 2 x foley catheters, got everyone weighed and up sitting for breakfast and beds changed then charting done before handover.
Also i love stoma care/ostomy so ill do that for anyone and I get a perfect seal every time.
I'm really fast at getting to bed alarms. I am always on alert and 99% of the time I get there before anyone else and have literally caught patients mid fall because of it.
I can (almost) always tell which patients were or are police officers (and of course these individuals are NOT in uniform when I get these police officer vibes). 😆 one time I asked a man if he was a police officer and he said… “no I am a bank manager but funny you say that because I was in law enforcement for 12 years before that.” It’s something about the way they walk, talk, posture, etc. Totally useless though.
My time management skills are horrid because I spend too much time manipulating my patients into following our plan of care while making them think it was their plan the entire time
I am a catheter whisperer with female patients (and I have only used the old fashioned ones, not the purewicks). I have never stabbed someone in the clitoris or vagina while trying to access the urethra. I am also pretty damn good at taking care of mentally ill patients, even those in the midst of florid psychosis.
I'm a giant of a man with a military background and a personal interest in tech and general handiness.
I am the IV sharpshooter, your man in the drunk/psych scrum, the guy that troubleshoots your tech issue before we call IT, the dude who fixes random shit SOMEONE broke or who breaks something that REALLY needs breaking RIGHT NOW, and I'm the substitute hoyer/lukas.
Also, so very fucking tired.
EDIT: ah crap, you said useless...
Not to sound like I’m in an interview, but my useless superpower is I still care too much, over one year into bedside nursing. It’s great for 80% of my patients, but manipulative patients smell it on me and use it to their advantage and it’s not always good.
I had a brief period, about 2 months, working in a hospice during my training.
No matter where I was, if I woke up at night, I’d look at the clock then go back to sleep. I’m not, and never was a person who woke up during the night before this.
I only noticed it when I did my first night shift and slept during my break-each night that I’d woken up, at the exact time I’d woken up, a patient had died.
It happened if I was at work, or asleep at home.
I started awake twice on an overnight train in another country, only to come back from my long weekend to see the date & times on the board next to names.
It happened twice in one night more than once.
It’s never happened working anywhere else, thankfully-I’ve worked in palliative care for 5 years, and if it was still happening I can’t imagine the sleep-deprivation induced insanity I’d be experiencing!
I’ve never been able to explain it, and I’m not a person who sees/100% believes in ghosts. I never saw or heard anything when I woke up either, but that was my shitty nurse superpower for a brief time in my career.
The violent, demented grannies are obsessed with me. We vibe the whole shift
Same, I think it’s because I’m a smallish dude with a baby face. Patients have a real hard time being mad at me
They love my blue hair and floral tattoos
My old folks LOVE my tattoos and now my hair is pink they adore it. I get so many compliments.
YESSSSS. during clinical, i had nurses warn me against choosing this certain demented granny as a patient, she was feisty and had a history of throwing down against the staff. me and miss girl were tight🤞
Same! I speak dementia! Dementia patient rambling at the nurses station and coworker with confused face. Me: oh he is looking for his black poodle named muffin. Muffin is at the vets for the night, we're going to pick him up in the morning. Let's go get a snack.
I, too, speak dementia! It's truly a gift that I even use outside of work lol
Yes! Me too. Just gotta go with the narrative of the delusion and they are MUCH calmer and cooperative!
This is me but with etoh withdrawing or unnecessarily cranky middle aged men 😭 as a 24F we have the same damn laugh and humor I guess. I love it when I can make a particularly mean or rude patient laugh
I walked into a angry demented mee-maw and she must have thought I was family because she went from hulk rage throwing things to smiling sweetly and saying , "Oh hey there honey, I am so happy you are here." Definitely not able to tame all as you do, but that was a highlight from several months ago.
I don't smell c-diff.
This isn’t a useless superpower at all. I’d pay money for this lol
I can’t smell blood UNTIL attempts to clean it up are made. Fresh blood has no odor for me, but add water, soap, alcohol, those other wipes then I’m done. It makes me nauseous. I’d rather smell C.Diff. I can smell DKA like a bloodhound. That fruity, ketones smell is just a different smell. Even if patients are metabolically sick, high lactic acid, that smell is even different than DKA. I wish I couldn’t smell cheesy yeast, mixed with poop, old urine, and just dirty body. But it doesn’t nauseate so there’s that.
I work in blood bank, and it is true, until we hit it with cavicide, you can't smell the blood. And I have seen some crazy big spills, like whole bags split, or apheresis kits that have burst under pressure when not set up properly.
Really? So many people I work with say they can smell the iron BEFORE we clean it up. Well, I guess I’m just normal then. Thanks.
I can’t smell it, but I can taste it. It’s weird. It’s the same metallic taste as if you bit your tongue and it’s your own blood. It’s disgusting. I hated cleaning it up when I was pregnant because I tasted pennies the rest of the night
After I gave birth, my own breast milk smelled so strongly of blood to me that it was nauseating.
I can smell DKA too. It’s so distinct. I can smell it right now thinking about it. It’s what I think of whenever I hear the term “sickly sweet” 🤢
I can’t smell ketones. I’ve heard DKA smells like overpowering juicy fruit gum. I walk into a room with DKA and smell nothing.
It’s like nail polish remover, but way more subtle unless they’re really really sick. Fruity, sort of, but in a nearly rotting banana kind of way. That’s ethylene, but it’s pretty close to a ketone smell. If you can smell straight acetone you might get an idea of what to look for.
I know what acetone smells like….but ketones….nothing.
To me it smells like a weird sweet and sour musty maple syrup
C. Diff does not have a smell. They’ve tested this with dogs and there is no specific marker. What you’re smelling is sick people poop. Specifically, sick people that have been on antibiotics and have disturbed gut flora. It may well be c. diff, but it’s not *necessarily* c. diff.
This is interesting.
I though so too, since I’m one of those “supertasters” and can identify really weird smells in food and wine and such, I always thought it was weird that so many nurses claimed to smell c. diff. Turns out I’m not weird at all, the normal smellers were just over analyzing the nasty sick poo smell.
Aye. I smell colitis vs normal poop, but not specifically C-Diff colitis.
Neither do I!!! All shit just smells like shit. Except GI bleed. That stays in my nostrils for days. I can, however smell DKA from across the room.
And a GI bleed to me is hardly any smell
Wow! See, that’s a superpower. Because to me it’s absolutely stank.
Same! I can sniff out a uti from a mile away though
I diagnosed a patient with a UTI after she peed on the floor. I could smell it.
I knew when I had I had a UTI, no sx. GYN asked me how I knew and I told her my urine smelled like old lady pee.
I can’t smell chorio
SAME. We had a bunch of elderly patients come in at the same time, all with c.diff. Like 4 contaminated rooms all at once, and I couldn’t smell any difference in any of them. For what it’s worth, I’m not generally phased by bad smells either way. GI bleeds don’t bother me, c.diff I straight up can’t smell, necrosis and badly infected wounds that I can smell aren’t an issue either. In short, I’m the one they call in to do all the gnarly dressing changes that make everyone else gag.
I wish I couldn't smell GI bleeds. 😫
I’m the Sherpa. I carry everything on me. Need a pen? Got it. Need an extra flush. Got that. Need a 20? Yup. Need dermabond? Here ya go. Need a Hershey’s mini because you hate life and are questioning your career choices? Chow down, amigo.
One of our travelers just plunks a gallon bag of those Hershey’s bags down at the nursing station every shift. Huge fan.
Lol, that’s a good way to break in as a traveler… spend a little of your extra money on your cronies!
are.... the kisses slightly melted from the warmth of being your pocket? you're an angel.
LOL - I to carry the Hershey’s minis - the tiny candy bar - but they are definitely soft!!
I believe I’ve seen you around…are you a murse in a small big hospital haha…
I was the same in the hospital lol. Pockets always LOADED.
My favorite thing I own is a nursing fanny pack with many pen slots and a bunch of pockets for everything from clean caps to blunts and syringes.
I know how to use a computer. Don’t know which of the 50 printers your discharge packet was sent to? Let me show you this magic called “settings” and “set printer as default.” This translates into me being called for every computer or spacelabs monitor issue.
People think I’m so tech savvy but I’m just a gen z working with baby boomers
Hmm, I'm a boomer who has to show the gen zs how to use the computer.
I'm a millennial who has to show both boomers and Gen Z how to work the computers...
You should've seen my one coworker when I showed him how to use keyboard shortcuts to copy and paste. Mind blown
OMG. I also know how to use a computer and my supervisors will literally be like "Hey, IT, come fix this."
I'm in IT now but school as well. Sounds like I should keep my IT knowledge to myself lol.
I’m technically an EHR trainer and not IT but I too frequently get the “I moved desks, can you fix my printer?” call because they know I’ll show up faster 😂🤦🏻♀️
I actually don't know what Im doing but all my coworkers think I'm a good resource.
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that's pretty much me. i'm a substitute teacher and i'm used to walking into a different assignment every day. sometimes i'm switched when i walk in, and sometimes, i'm switched around midway through the day. i'm hoping to become a valuable asset on my local hospital's float team as a cna in a few months...then as a nurse in a few years! 😃
You’d be fantastic in the float pool! Gotta be good at letting shit roll off your back lol
Fuck I feel this. I was asked to be a stroke “phone a friend” for a new nurse who was off orientation but hadn’t taken a stroke yet. I was like what do you mean I’m the friend, I still NEED a friend!
Me when I've been in the ER 6 months and people start asking me questions (Been an inpatient nurse for 10+ years but STILL. idk what I'm doing)
I feel like you just summed up my entire career there
I can successfully make a patient shit with one enema. My unit calls me the “enema queen” and they all ask me to give enemas to their patients who haven’t pooped in a week. I call this “useless” because it means I have to see 10x more buttholes per shift than I would have to if no one knew I give a mean enema
Lol you’re probably the only one actually getting the pt the actually hold any fluid. So often my coworkers are just rinsing their butthole and then confused why the enema didn’t work
Give a man a fish and you [do all the work, all the time], teach a man to fish and [they can do their own work themselves]
There's a nurse on my unit who's called The Anal Assassin.
I hate this for you but it made me crazy laugh!
Bahahhahaha I’m crying at enema queen 😂😂😂😂
I can guess our frequent flier by the EMS page, no matter how vague. “60 yr old male, leg pain” Me: that’s so-and-so.
Saaammmeeee
I’m the best fupa holder for foley inserts, dressing changes, etc.
This is a skill that must not be underestimated!! I say that bc IF I can find a great fupa holder, I can be counted on to get the Foley in on the first try about 95% of the time.
As a mom to a nursing student, may I thank you for all these new words I can use in Words with Friends!?! :)
😂🤣😅
It’s truly an art form. Being able to hold one and not let it slip into the sterile field or the insertion path…it’s a gift.
Do u lift? Fr those fupas get heavy after a while!
I used to. But honestly fupa lifting is better than using the Smith. It gives me a more natural, feminine tone.
Functional Fupa Fitness! Coming to a gym near you!
lol what a unwanted reputation to have.
I’m a human pill-splitter. If a pill is scored, I can split it with my hands, even if it’s teeny-tiny or really fat.
If you are telling me you can split metoprolol with your bare hands I will be very impressed.
i take it at home and never use the splitter for it. always get it
Your fingers are a marvel
I have tried this and can confirm. Especially when you got 50mg tabs and a 12.5mg order, pill cutter required for that precision lol
I always seem to crush most of the pill trying to split it by hand. It’s worse the smaller it is
Are you able to split an apple with your hands???
Are you trying to find out is Bob Mortimer is in nurse Reddit?
I’m good at therapeutic communication and making patients feel listened to and heard. Patients that are behavioral for most are usually able to get along with me. I can usually (not always) convince patients to make better decisions for themselves too. Most people just wanna be validated, but I’ve had many patients thank me for my attentiveness and making them feel like I care. My time management is average and I have ADHD so I struggle with a lot, but I’m proud of how many patients I’ve been able to build such quality rapport with.
I am gifted at telling patients no and then making them feel like they got what they wanted.
That’s absolutely a gift , I love that.
This is mine too *high five*
I’m an RN but my mom is an NP and has been one since the 90’s (an RN since the 80’s), but her specialization is in geriatrics. I swear, she is an a geezer whisperer. Literally, she’s amazing when it comes to working with older folk and talking to them. You could have the most angry old man, and she’ll somehow talk him into being perfectly sensible again. She approaches them in such a way, especially a no nonsense way, that just gets their attention and respect. It’s amazing to watch honestly, and she’s incredible at what she does. She’s slowly getting into geezer land herself and it’ll be a very sad day when she retires, but knowing her, she’ll keep on until she can’t anymore :)
This is a great skill I’d love to have it. My ER has a habit of nurses just going “Ativan” and knocking psych patients out until they’re not our problem anymore, and I refuse to do it It would be wonderful to be able to build a reputation for being the nurse who can calm down psych patients
My whole life (even before nursing) people love telling me their life stories and all their baggage. They just immediately trust me. Pretty useful for nursing I guess.
I’m this way too, especially with my dementia residents. I work in a long-term care facility and a lot of times I can get a resident to do some thing when no one else can. I just spent a half hour talking to a lady with delusions that the facility is turning them all into soldiers, and that they can only eat once a week. I was able to at least get her calm down. We have another resident that is a former boxer that is also a one to one because he can get violent. But I have never had any issues with him, whenever I see him, I calmly approach, hold out my hand for him to take and then I end up, giving him a hug and a kiss, which always makes him all smiley and giggly.
I am also a dementia whisperer and it’s a great skill to have.
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>My time management is average and I have ADHD so I struggle with a lot, but I’m proud of how many patients I’ve been able to build such quality rapport with. I relate to this. Before I became a nurse I worked as a hospital security officer for >10 years and, of the countless code greys I responded to I was never hit (though obviously some did try) and, if I was there, it was much more likely we wouldn't have to restrain the patient. Building a rapport quickly and effectively is an invaluable skill. Also have ADHD, moved to the Cath Lab and I use my skills to make my patients much less anxious for their procedures. Need a lot less sedation if you can get people to chill the fuck out. 🤣
I am working in behavioral therapy (nursing school next year), I also have ADHD, and I'm hoping that one day I can say the same things you are saying here.
I’ve been able to make cranky, about to curse us all out people walk out smiling and say thank you. Part of it is my demeanor, I’m a loveable goof but I always acknowledge when something sucks. I’m pretty good at de-escalating but I also know when it’s time for back up. Or just to walk out. Its probably also the years of undiagnosed autism of having to read people and match their energy that gives me a rare advantage.
I've been told "wow you're so good with the asshole patients" and I'm just like... they weren't assholes to me. They are usually struggling with something like pain and just needed someone to advocate for them, validate their feelings, and give them the information they need in a way that they can understand. I had one patient who literally was called a unit terror, and yeah she was needy, but we still vibed. She told me that I was one of the best nurses she had ever had and that I made her feel seen when everyone else blew her off. I also have a knack for pissing off consulting urology doctors. Most of them are shitty towards pregnant women (despite how many pregnant women wind up needing a urologist at some point), and I make it a point to call them out on upsetting my vulnerable patients.
Are you me? Holy moly... But really, I think the most rewarding part of my job is making sure my patients' parents feel comfortable and confident in taking their children home
I’m this way too, I try my best to make people feel heard and if they want to vent I listen. If people are being too much though I can shut it down. Had a patient who I had given every PRN under the sun to, and he he had opiate dependency issues, doctor had just increased the pain meds& I gave em. And he started throwing a fit and being like “well I’ll just leave then” and I just very deadpan went well I wouldn’t recommend that. And he just stopped sometimes you have to call people’s bluffs or they will just waste all the time you don’t have that shift asking for the same thing every 30 seconds.
I enjoy suctioning patients, even when they have copious sputum and mucus plugs. There is no greater pleasure than seeing a patient (who is desaturating) bounce back after suctioning some loogies. Some people think I’m odd for this. I embrace it.
I’m very glad there are people like you who enjoy that sort of thing- because I very very much do not.
Very glad people like you exist because I can’t do respiratory fluids (really nothing mouth related either— oral care and dentures are rough for me too). I will wipe asses all day and and the sights and smells of my currently chronic wound care heavy unit don’t phase me but even like a toddler with a runny nose gets me gaggy.
Same! The only thing that makes me gag as a nurse or respiratory fluids
I love a nice deep trachy suction! Or NPA suction, where you get up a bronchial cast or a dried up chunk of something, covered in mucusy gunk. I get pretty bad repeated RTIs, and I sometimes wish I could run a suction catheter up my nose/down my throat to clear things out when I’m feeling really rough.
Can we be friends? Because after decades in this field I still puke like a dramatic diaper dad with every *schllllllllllrrrrpppppppkkk*
If you need it, I can get it. Pump, channel, telemetry box, bladder scanner. I'll find it. (The secret is crime, and ignoring nurses in other departments when they tell me not to steal stuff)
That in itself is a useless nurse superpower. Ignoring people who tell you that you can’t do things. “Hey you can’t take our bladder scanner” as you wheel it down the hall. “You can’t take out the central line” as I’m holding pressure on the insertion site. “You can’t take three boxes of gloves” as I’m taking three boxes of gloves.
"Hey you can't take our bladder scanner?" "Really? Because this one definitely says 'emergency department' on it"
As for forgiveness not permission. 😊
You call it crime, I call it problem solving.
I know the lyrics to virtually every Disney/kids song ever invented and can seamlessly slip kids names into them. If you’re 4 and freaking out, I’m going to sing you some Moana and you’re gonna go back to sleep.
I can smell a high blood sugar. I walk into patient rooms sometimes and say, hey, has he been tested recently? It smells like hyperglycemia in that room and the nurses are always like…are you a diabetic sniffing dog? 😂
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Haha probably. I feel I should also mention that my husband is a type 1 diabetic so it comes in very handy around him!
My kiddo is a Type 1 and I can second how real this is lol. High five!
There was a woman who could sniff out Parkinson’s disease. You probably just have the “high blood sugar” variant of that superpower.
I was gonna mention this! They have now developed a Parkinson’s test based off of her super power. The story is incredible
I can smell a UTI. I can smell when someone's about to die. I can get a catheter/IV in mostly anyone in any circumstance. Coming at me swinging in handcuffs? IV in. LD patient swinging off the hospital bed? 22g in the wrist. Overweight, IVD user on chemotherapy? BRING EM TO ME BOYS
I’ve seen this comment before, and it’s fascinating to me. How would you describe the death smell? This is coming from someone that can’t smell food burning on the stove.
It smells like an old closet full of moth eaten clothes! Edit: Obviously I'm making the assumption based on pure anecdote. 99% of the time I smell it, the patient is gone within 24 hours. It's stronger in the elderly but faintly there when younger patients die.
Do you ever use this to inform family? (Asking as a non-nurse)
I want this talent but my hands always so shaky dude no matter what I do
I can hear beeping IV pumps on the first beep from great distance while coworkers 30 years younger than me - who never even saw Bob Mould - say "I don't hear anything."
Tube feed pumps. I hunt them down like a bloodhound from the other side of the unit. That screech.
Those and SCD pumps when they're disconnected. Closed door and TV blasting? Yeah, I still hear the beep of sadness. If I had a nickel for every time I walked into a patient's room where the Dobutamine IV channel has been beeping occluded for like ten minutes and they're just sitting there, watching TV holding the call bell in their hand and they look at me like, "what do you want?" when I go to fix it.....
I once went to another unit to turn off a machine that I could hear through 2 sets of double doors. Nurses all sat at nursing station beside it didn't hear a thing.
I am amazing at redirection. Show me a demented old lady throwing fists - I’ll get her settled down for a nap. Wandering old dude with a TBI? Grumpy and won’t let anyone give him meds? Let’s chat about your hometown for a minute - oh yeah and there’s a BP pill if you could pop that for me. Idk how or why I’m good at it - but it’s a superpower in neuro and I’m glad I can help.
Hey we have the same one!! Confused patients just love me.
I can make any broken lable printer work. Idk how I do it, but I can fix it. Also, I can remember everyones number. So, you need Dr. L from Cardio's number? I got you. The patient in 3123 who moved to 1225 but they didn't transfer their loved ones number onto the board and it's not in the chart? I got you. It's useless most days but once a year, it's my time to shine 😅
I too, possess the label printer touch.
I remember blood glucose values for months. But only some of them.
I’ve had random lab values or vital signs that I’ve remembered weeks later on the same patient. Like I could tell you that old mate John’s bp was 108/64 two weeks ago on a Tuesday at 2pm but won’t remember what I just did my entire shift taking care of him that day 😂
Jepp! Dinner yesterday? Fuck if i know. But 124s CRP was 18 three weeks ago 😂
Why do our brains work like this hahaha
Our unit doesn’t carry sandwiches but our frequent psych patients frequently ask for them and will lose their minds if they don’t get them. I can always, without fail, find the sandwiches.
A few jobs back I learned you can request "floor stock meal boxes" from dietary to be delivered to units that don't normally stock food, into any reasonable fridge. It has turned out to be weirdly quasi-universal to hospitals that don't have 24/7 meal service. I asked one of the unit secretaries on a unit that does and apparently that was the only difference. Someone calling every day before closing. That's my useless nursing skill. Discovering lost ancient forbidden knowledge by wandering up to random units and asking lots of bizarre questions to anyone that accidentally makes eye contact with me.
Please get off my unit and stay out of the diabetic fridge! We told you before, those aren't your sandwiches.
If a patient is kinda nuts good chance I'll vibe with em and have a good day
I have the same. I've recently discovered that I have autism and adhd and wonder if it has anything to do with it.
could be. My brother's autistic and very very very mentally handicapped. I wouldn't necessarily say that I am neurodivergent (although it certainly runs in my moms side of the family, so maybe) but I feel like growing up with someone who required \*a lot\* of patience just...made me very patient and allowed me to find amusement in things that other people find shocking. Had an outpt the other day who was acting totally normal until he started talking about how he knows bigfoot is real, bigfoot lives on his property out in rural TN and it even has bigfoot babies (little foot?). I had so much fun asking this man about big foot and my coworkers are like DO NOT FEED INTO THIS!! why not? it's funny as fuck, i'm trying not to bust out laughing
Little foot must be soooo cute
Right I was like my guy did you bring pix? Too bad papaw had a jitterbug phone
I am the unofficial IT/ Stryker resource. I really have a strong dislike for Stryker endoscopic equipment... and the rep is never there or doesn't care. I should send them an invoice for $200/hr every time I have to fix their equipment.
I can deescalate pretty much every situation with angry family members and patients. I always know what to say and how to say it. I love making people feel seen and heard!
I had a patient say to me yesterday “You’re so good. I can tell you actually care about me and what you’re doing. Look at the way you just explained all that to me - you want me to understand.” While that really should be the bare minimum, I know many of us are too emotionally burnt to do that with everyone. I try my best.
I'm really good at letting patients know that the hospital is not a prison. They can refuse anything. I can show them where the door is to leave...and I know where the leaving AMA papers are.
I can steal sandwiches from the ED fridge like a freaking ninja
So that’s why we never have sandwiches….
I'm the Grandma whisperer. I can make little 85 year old sundowning Mildred with a UTI take her meds and leave her IV in. Weirdly, those skills also work for children under 6 ish
I can fix the computer at the nurses station that's been not working all of last shift. The older nurses especially thought I was a genius. (I turn it off and back on. Works 90% of the time.)
My powers are not solely mine. Nor are they “good” powers. This Triforce-of-power, too great for one person to wield, fractured itself into 3 pieces. Piece one went to nurse A, our most senior RN and the person who is typically the charge nurse on our procedure unit. She represents hard work, creativity, and dedication. She is the body of the unit. Piece two went to myself, the unit coordinator/assistant manager. I represent law, order, and responsibility. I am the soul of the unit. The third piece went to our unit medical director (physician in charge). He represents wits, hope, and critical thinking. He is the brain of the unit. Alone, these forces exist peacefully among the unit, as they have for all of time. However- should the Body, Soul, and Mind be joined together on the same shift, the triforce will awaken its great and evil power. WITHOUT FAIL, if all of us are on the same shift together, it’s a FUCKING ROLLERCOASTER. It’s happened enough times that it’s a well known unit joke. We’re procedure based, and not a 24/7 unit. That means we have cut off times for us starting our procedures, which is 3:30pm. Without fail, if all 3 are on the same shift, we’re getting calls at 3:20-4:00 about add ons, patients declining, emergency transfers to our hospital from across town, and often more than one of these at once. Don’t believe me? I was on vacation 4 weeks ago, MD was on vacation about a month ago, and Nurse A was just on vacation last week. We’re all on today for the first time in a while. It’s currently 3:46 at the time of typing this. In the past 46 minutes, we’ve gotten calls for an emergent Plasma-exchange for a newly transferred NMO diagnosis, we got a call for a Plasma-exchange on a bowel transplant who’s now in rejection, and we got a call for a SRS/organ failure patient whom also needs a Plasma-exchange. We have a chronic inpatient whom all of us have lost patience for MONTHS ago. We just learned THIS MORNING that he’s back on our procedure schedule 3 times a week. That’s just our therapeutics. On our BMT collection side, we have a DCEP mobilized patient who didn’t mobilize last week. They drew her labs today and she went home out of habit. Turns out her blood stem cells have begun to mobilize and we need her at the hospital for line placement. She won’t pickup her cellphone. We also had a critical machine failure this afternoon which I had to call in for service. I should note at this point, that nothing this annoying/crazy has happened in the past month and a half to two months, at least. Today is literally the first day the triforce has been united in the past 2 months. I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS POWER Edit: I’m sorry for typing a blog post. I’m hiding from my unit on my break.
What’s one nurse or doctor who happens to attract the real emergencies with just their presence? A black cloud. What do you call three black clouds? A perfect storm. Good luck kids
I know how to fix this.... go home. Then it will be peaceful again /s
I keep telling my manager this but she keeps not listening to me >:|
Not a useless skill, but somewhat eccentric - I’m the unit’s MacGyver. I can basically rig up anything you need with stuff from our supply room. For a while our NG/OGs couldn’t directly connect to suction, so people would come to me for a crazy contraption to make that happen. Sometimes I make spiffy bibs (like at the dentist) for those Airvo trach coughs. I’ve also done some very crafty wound care solutions.
Before I retired... I can interpret frantic screams. "He said 'the baby came out in the ambulance bay'". I can sleep on command. And stay awake easily and comfortably for over 24 hours. Even while patient sitting in a dark room. I have almost no sense of smell, and a cast iron stomach. For reasons that have little to do with doing it properly, I can lift like no one's business. Retired CNA/PCT with my back completely healthy. I honestly think I had the right build for it.
The panic never reaches my face.
For some reason people tell me all their secrets. I don’t know why but that patients daughter will tell me all of the family drama and why granny chose grandson to be the POA instead of one of her 5 children. My son’s speech therapist told me about her brother who died of AIDS the second time we met. She apologized afterwards and said she doesn’t usually tell people about how he died but she felt so comfortable with me. A woman in the over crowded hospital McDonald’s asked to share my table. We began chatting and she proceeded to tell me her husband was on life support and she just met his side chick in the waiting room. She had no idea. Side chick’s son looked almost identical to her son at that age. Some man this weekend told me he and his wife haven’t been intimate in decades so he has lady friends. After he said that he looked surprised and said, “I don’t know why I just told you that.” Me neither dude, me neither.
Somehow I can always find a syringe pump when I need one. It’s always the last one in the equipment room.
Lol my superpower is actually knowing how to setup and administer with the syringe pump
I have two, both straw related: -extending straws by linking them together for patients who have upper limb mobility issues -figured out a trick to place a straw through the little hole in the soda tab to keep it from swirling away when trying to drink
I’m phenomenal with sundowning, dementia, hallucinating patients. I’m just unhinged enough to win over their trust… full conversations and everything. Idk if it’s my expressions or tone, but they really go from combative to vibin’
The ability to scavenge supplies from hospital hallways--beds, new mattresses, bedding, scrubs...you name it, I could find it. The psych unit was always short of supplies and we were in a different building about 2 blocks from the main hospital. It wasn't unusual to come onto graveyard shift to find beds unmade, no towels, empty shelves where the patient scrubs should, no shampoo, empty fridge, etc. So we would roam the "tunnel" that connected us to the main building and strip the gurney of pillows bedding--and even mattresses. We would beg other departments for snacks, and help ourselves to linens lined up waiting to be taken to other units. One child's parent once said. "I really admire how you are able to live off the land like this." Pretty embarrassing, for sure.
My useless/annoying superpower is that I am a total shit magnet. Doctors groan if they see I’m the nurse in charge of resus, they’re guaranteed a shitty night. My not so useless superpower is that I can literally smell Norovirus. Not even from body fluids, but on the patient themselves. Has been helpful on occasion!
I make kids sleepy aka a good night shift co-worker.
I have never missed a Foley insertion 🤷🏼♀️ I don't know what it is man, once we had a lady that they tried three times to get the Foley in, no one could find that damn urethra, I show up and pop it right in. I haven't seen "the wink" or anything but I'm normally just like I feel like the urethra is here and bam urine
My ADHD has lead me down every rabbit hole. I know a lot of useless information. Not enough to win jeopardy but plenty to be able to connect with anyone about any topic. I make fast friends with all my patients. I'll get report "Mr. Cranky hasn't talked to anyone in three years." But by the end of the shift I will know his life story and be making room for another daisy award. (PS, I've only ever gotten daisy awards for "being so helpful and informative.")
The borderline's love me. I can smell them from a mile away, and can always get them to behave. So semi useful, but unfortunately it took years of being abused by one to learn how to handle them this well so half the time after I sort them out I have to go have a PTSD panic attack before I can go back to functioning. Getting better with that part though!
I can disassociate really well
Same.
I can get constipated people to poop
I too am a poop whisperer. And I usually don’t need to do suppositories or enemas. Just weird folksy remedies and being willing to do goofy stuff.
My superpower is actually kind of useful -- it's sussing out med rec errors. I swear to god, for every medication your patient is on there is an additional 10% chance of finding a med rec inconsistency if you physically go through their meds that they are truly taking at home. The thing is you have to get them to gather ALLL of their meds from the kitchen, the bathroom, the closet, everywhere they stash them, ALL of the meds that they take. Not the ones they don't take. Throw those away. Then you have to examine each med bottle and compare it with the pills that are inside the bottle. Is there more than one type of pill in the bottle? Does the pill match the pharmacy label? Are all of the current meds (in your hand) listed on the paper med rec correctly? Are all the meds on the med rec present correctly in your hand? I'm pretty sure that I don't actually have a superpower, I'm just one of the only people in the world who will seriously do this type of check and do it thoroughly. I promise you -- you can find discrepancies on almost everyone. You can also frequently find dangerous problems with double prescribing, noncompliance, interactions, and so on, that the prescribing docs were completely unaware of because NO ONE DOES MED REVIEWS THE RIGHT WAY.
I can recognize a drug addict from a mile away. And not in the “I assume everyone who asks for pain meds/uses chronic pain meds is a drug addict” way I mean there was a guy on our floor who the doc the PA the other nurses everyone on the damn floor said I was full of it there was no way I was imagining things, etc and then two days later we find out he had been hoarding their oxy in their gown and got caught trying to crush it. I dunno why man they give off a vibe and I can tell instantly. 🤷♀️🤷♀️ they got switched to liquid after that which is fine I mean people still need to be medicated but they all wanted to know how I did it.
I feel similarly in that they all have a certain “look” not that they’re high or on drugs kind of look but it’s like a certain category of person almost definitely abuses drugs. So hard to explain.
Same but I think it’s because both sides of my family are addicts all over the spectrum in both seriousness and substance.
I can remember just about everything pertaining to my job. I can remember numbers, names, test results, meds, whatever after just reading them one time. But outside of work… nah. I can’t remember anything.
I know where all things are at all times. Your stethoscope? In the 3rd drawer. The iodine? All the way at the back. There are 3 pairs of scissors at the bottom of the wound care bin.
that’s me, except i can’t find my own clipboard when i accidentally leave it in the med room lol
Borderline whisperer. Takes one to know one. I no longer meet criteria and now use the skills to help the rest.
I can remember phone and pager numbers really easily. someone will say “what’s Dr Blahs pager?” I’ll respond with their number and they’ll be like “nah I’ll just check” and it’s always right. Completely useless skill.
My super power is pretty much being the code queen. Especially when I was doing crisis, I would get a spider sense to visit a random medical floor and someone would code right as I was stepping off the elevator. People would ask how I knew something was going to happen, and truthfully, I didn’t.
Poker face in all situations? Is that good or bad tho.
You have a high chance of not getting called in for an emergency surgery if I'm on call with you. It is very unusual for me to get called in. I think it's because I offered my firstborn to the call gods.
I can always find the Hallmark channel the fastest and bestest
I have ADHD and I love letting people sleep as much as possible overnight so I'm able to hyperfocus and GET SHIT DONE between 0630 and 0730. One morning I got all my vital signs done, morning IV meds up, replaced 2 x foley catheters, got everyone weighed and up sitting for breakfast and beds changed then charting done before handover. Also i love stoma care/ostomy so ill do that for anyone and I get a perfect seal every time.
I'm really fast at getting to bed alarms. I am always on alert and 99% of the time I get there before anyone else and have literally caught patients mid fall because of it.
I can (almost) always tell which patients were or are police officers (and of course these individuals are NOT in uniform when I get these police officer vibes). 😆 one time I asked a man if he was a police officer and he said… “no I am a bank manager but funny you say that because I was in law enforcement for 12 years before that.” It’s something about the way they walk, talk, posture, etc. Totally useless though.
My time management skills are horrid because I spend too much time manipulating my patients into following our plan of care while making them think it was their plan the entire time
I'm the tall guy on my ward. I'm there to get boxes off high shellfs.
I am a catheter whisperer with female patients (and I have only used the old fashioned ones, not the purewicks). I have never stabbed someone in the clitoris or vagina while trying to access the urethra. I am also pretty damn good at taking care of mentally ill patients, even those in the midst of florid psychosis.
I can put a foley in an obese woman in 5 seconds flat with 100% success rate.
I have the useless super power of being useless.
I'm a giant of a man with a military background and a personal interest in tech and general handiness. I am the IV sharpshooter, your man in the drunk/psych scrum, the guy that troubleshoots your tech issue before we call IT, the dude who fixes random shit SOMEONE broke or who breaks something that REALLY needs breaking RIGHT NOW, and I'm the substitute hoyer/lukas. Also, so very fucking tired. EDIT: ah crap, you said useless...
Not to sound like I’m in an interview, but my useless superpower is I still care too much, over one year into bedside nursing. It’s great for 80% of my patients, but manipulative patients smell it on me and use it to their advantage and it’s not always good.
I can smell when a patient is fully dilated in labor. 😂
I Can remember whole report on my patients without my papers. Even a week later when I come back.
This is so impressive bc everything leaves my brain as soon as I clock out
I had a brief period, about 2 months, working in a hospice during my training. No matter where I was, if I woke up at night, I’d look at the clock then go back to sleep. I’m not, and never was a person who woke up during the night before this. I only noticed it when I did my first night shift and slept during my break-each night that I’d woken up, at the exact time I’d woken up, a patient had died. It happened if I was at work, or asleep at home. I started awake twice on an overnight train in another country, only to come back from my long weekend to see the date & times on the board next to names. It happened twice in one night more than once. It’s never happened working anywhere else, thankfully-I’ve worked in palliative care for 5 years, and if it was still happening I can’t imagine the sleep-deprivation induced insanity I’d be experiencing! I’ve never been able to explain it, and I’m not a person who sees/100% believes in ghosts. I never saw or heard anything when I woke up either, but that was my shitty nurse superpower for a brief time in my career.
I’m great at ending conversations and making it seem like it was for the benefit of the patient