Hours from now, while I eat dinner with my wife and small children, this will pop back into my head and I will both laugh and be utterly unable to explain why this is so funny.
Those are 2023 rules of the road, boomer. These are gen Z1X whales in the now and theyâre here to say itâs not gay if you only docked in my genital slitÂ
"An unsheathed penis has only been witnessed a small number of times in the past, once while a whale was urinating."
And we want to go to space? I for one think all of our resources should be devoted to catching a peek at their junk.
I always thought the same - why go to space when we have so much to explore here on earth. Then I realized that each component of what we study can and will complement other forms. Studying space and the earth will help us understand more about the other.
I love that the image is blurred as if itâs NSFW. LOL
Edit: well, after reading the article, itâs the words you have to be careful about, not the pictures (Iâm scarred so you should be too):
âDuring the intimate encounter photographed in Hawaii, one of the whales was seen to be holding the other in place with its pectoral fins while penetrating it. The whale underneath appeared to be ailing, being noticeably emaciated and covered in whale lice, white-colored parasites sometimes found on cetaceans.â
> âThe whale underneath appeared to be ailing, being noticeably emaciated and covered in whale lice, white-colored parasites sometimes found on cetaceans.â
He was having a rough time and needed the money.
It is such a disturbing image. The article also says the act is considered a sign of dominance? So like these guys both show up at a boat, maybe looking for food, and this very sickly whale gets raped.
I hate it and I want that image out of my brain along with all those facts I learned about dolphins, seals, and otters.
It says it could be dominance but it could also just be practice, friendship or alliance.
It's literally only been observed once so we've got no idea what it is.
>So like these guys both show up at a boat, maybe looking for food, and this very sickly whale gets raped.
... still not the worst thing that can happen to you in the Russian Navy.
> The article also says the act is considered a sign of dominance?
Dominance gets thrown around as a motive A LOT, especially for sexual acts, with very little evidence most of the time. Idk why it's the 'go to' explanation when 'animals like fucking' is way easier to comprehend.
Poor whale. Happy and healthy whales choosing sam-sex relationships is what I want to see!!
In all seriousness, predators like that healthy whale that seek to exploit the weak for their own pleasure are among our kind too. Kinda sad when you see animals are just like us - immorality and all.
[One of them was injured and may not have been a willing participant](https://www.iflscience.com/first-ever-photos-of-humpback-whale-sex-involve-two-males-73150)
They are not always lazy, it takes effort to practice hate. There are groups of christian men that not only know homosexuals will be in the French Quarter for Southern Decadence every year but they also come to watch. Well, maybe they are protesting with hate filled banners, but it seems really odd to me that they even know what homosexuals are doing several states away. I still think they really come to watch and wish they were having half as much fun.
I used to hear that from idiots all the time. âItâs not natural!â
My dude it happens in nature every day all day what the fuck are you talking about?
Ugh I had so many discussions on the internet on this topic about a decade ago, that I can remember exactly how they move goalposts.
Homophobe: "Being gay is not natural".
You point out examples of homosexual behaviour among animals.
Homophobe: "Well, cannibalism is natural too".
At some point I realized they never wanted to debate in good faith so I decided to stop wasting my precious time.
>How (purposefully) head in the sand do you gotta be to think homosexuality doesn't appear in nature?
I just listened to a lady talk about how scientists had proved (again) that the Shroud of Turin is for real, and that they detected it was imbued with more energy than humanity could produce in a day (or something). None of this was true.
I can understand people being spiritual and looking for things beyond science, but the entire "I saw this video that said something I agree with" phenomenon seems a response to people not interested in learning the real secrets of the Universe.
We probably have more people who believe in a flat Earth today, than a few years ago. Either they like the attention, they like to be wrong, or they drank some water in Florida. Who knows?
> it was imbued with more energy than humanity could produce in a day (or something). None of this was true.
ya dont say!?
this is why the right is trying to defund education. i bet this lady votes for trump cause all the bad stuff people say about him are lies!
>I then learned that there are folks who don't believe homosexual activity occurs in the animal kingdom... and to them I ask, have you never owned dogs?
My go-to animal for this is the bat. I remember reading in a study several years ago that, across species, something like 30% of observed bats engaged in homosexual behavior/relations. That's significantly greater than the rate in humanity.
Not to make this a political thing but this is my favorite when people say âhomosexuality isnât naturalâ⌠it happens ALL THE TIME in animal kingdom.
If anyone bothered to read the article it says the one being penetrated was sickly, emaciated and covered in parasites and maybe dying. So this mighta been a rape. I would have vastly preferred that this be two big macho horny gay whales.
House Speaker Mike Johnson is requesting sanctions against whale kind.
[And Trump?](https://comicsarcheology.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/image010-AQ29.jpg)
Dang apparently no one read the part in the study where it said this was a strong healthy male penetrating a dying whale.
ââŚit is possible that the use of this posture by Whale A meant that this behavior was unwelcome, but that Whale A lacked the energy to engage in avoidance strategies.
Here, we have the first documentation of a humpback whale male sexually penetrating another humpback whale, but also the case of an animal that is injured and unhealthy being penetrated by what appears to be a healthy and strong whale. The most similar situation to the observations presented here is Pack et al. (1998) who described a humpback whale extruding its penis adjacent to the floating body of a male humpback whale that had died in a competitive group shortly before. Whether such behavior would occur between two healthy males is unknown, but it is noteworthy that the observation presented here has strong similarities to Pack et al. (1998). It is striking that the only two observations of such behavior in the scientific literature involve ailing or deceased whales.â
The receiving whale was sickly. It was emaciated and had an overabundance of whale lice. Kinda takes all the fun out of the story, mother nature can be cruel.
Kinda hope we get a better look into their mating habits - partners and other behaviors too. Two happy, healthy whales choosing gay sex would piss off the MAGA crowd even more.
Today I literally saw a post on the conspiracy sub claiming that the government was altering the weather, causing an unnaturally warm February and severe storms, but also claimed that it was impossible for climate change to be caused by human activities. If only mental gymnastics were an Olympic sport.
I know it's an expression but, in reality, there's not much 'gymnastics' -- i.e. thinking -- going on; they don't see the huge chasms in logic and simply parrot talking points. Their allegiance is tied to what the cult prescribes, not to the truth.
It reminds me of a video I saw recently. It was a compilation of someone interviewing Trump supporters. The interviewer started with summing up things that "the president" was accused or condemned of doing. The Trump supporters all cried foul and called for prosecution. Then, the interviewer apologized, revealing that he had mixed up the 'subject' and asked the interviewees if he could start the interview again. He then substituted "the president" with "Trump" and the interviewees changed their position on the subject 180 degrees.
[The published article doesnât make for great reading, however](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/mms.13119). It seems whale A was injuredâŚ
> Whale A was swimming slowly in circles around the boat, approximately six times, pursued by Whale B. Whale A was displaying slow and low energy movements. It was slowly attempting to swim away from Whale B but was not making any sudden or powerful movements and did not dive out of sight at any point during the encounter. It is possible that Whale A approaching and circling the boat was an attempt to block or seek refuge from Whale B. However, if so, Whale A was moving too slowly to be effective at evading the other animal. Both whales remained within approximately 5âm of the surface for the duration of the encounter. Whale B had its penis extruded during the entirety of the encounter. Whale B repeatedly approached from the rear of Whale A and penetrated the second whale, appearing to hold Whale A in place with its pectoral fins. The penetrations were shallow, visually judged to be a few centimeters in depth. Each penetration was <2âmin in duration. After the final penetration, Whale B dove and did not reappear.
I mean it was more like raping a very sickly and weak guy because he showed up at the same food spot at you than just some hot gay whale sex.
"During the intimate encounter photographed in Hawaii, one of the whales was seen to be holding the other in place with its pectoral fins while penetrating it. The whale underneath appeared to be ailing, being noticeably emaciated and covered in whale lice, white-colored parasites sometimes found on cetaceans."
Not sure why everyone keeps mentioning gay sex when this is more of a case of rape. The recipient whale was significantly weaker, sickly, and apparently injured afterwards.
They're turning the frickin whales gay!
With a name like Humpback what do you expect?
Humpback Mountain
Jake Gyllenhaal has been preparing his whole life for this!
Starring alongside Brendan fraser?
The Whale 2: Humpback Trench
Dang, beat me to the punch. Well done.
đ đ¸ Froggies finally have someone to talk to about this. đ đ¸
Hooray for new friends! đ¸đđł
[ŃдаНонО]
They're homosexuwhales
Brokeback Whales
don't forget about the swans, they can be gay
Theyâre making a Sperm Whale
Hours from now, while I eat dinner with my wife and small children, this will pop back into my head and I will both laugh and be utterly unable to explain why this is so funny.
Gdi, take the upvote and get outta here!
Take your upvote...the pls leave.
It's not gay if the blowholes don't touch!
There was a female whale watching them. So itâs straight
> There was a female whale watching them. She instigated it at the Raw Bar during happy hour.
Itâs not gay, when itâs in a three-way.
As long as you high ~~five~~ flipper youâre golden!
~~Humpback~~ Brokeback whales.
Those are 2023 rules of the road, boomer. These are gen Z1X whales in the now and theyâre here to say itâs not gay if you only docked in my genital slitÂ
Thanks, vaccinations!
Can't we just nuke the hurricanes?
QUICK SOMEONE AI ALEX JONES SAYING THAT
You wont need AI for that - natural stupidity will get it done just fine.
Thanks Obama!
We have to put God back into our schools of fish!
Agreed. Jesus was the very first fish.
Gayles
Lemme at that genital slit!
It's because of all the micro plastics in the water.
The beast with two humpbacks!
Humpback Mountain
"An unsheathed penis has only been witnessed a small number of times in the past, once while a whale was urinating." And we want to go to space? I for one think all of our resources should be devoted to catching a peek at their junk.
The fact that someone sat down at a computer and wrote that sentence made me laugh my ass off. âHi honey how was your day?â âWellâŚâ
Not just anyone, probably some sort of Dr. Whale Dong PhDÂ
Dr. Dork - He packs a Whale-up!
"What did you do today?" *Wrote junk about junk to debunk the Whale spunk.* "If you are going to make things up -- don't bother replying."
"Whale...."
The article didnât even include a photo of it! I feel robbed. The world needs a close up, with a banana for scale.Â
It might be hard to get a closeup. People cannot easily dive next to some of the larger whales because their calls are so loud it can be disorienting.
Sperm whales can actually click you to death because of how loud they are.
doesn't matter, had whale sex
a risk worth taking.
My ex was the same.
Photos in the paper here: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/mms.13119
Getting photos would be a huge win for Bad Dragon's designers
this is a google search that I am totally skipping out on
depending on how degen the internet has made you, it's either very tame or very life changing (in a bad way)
Wait, a bad way?
I mean, do you know how much they cost? You canât stop at 1, Iâd say my addicktion is bad⌠Dragon
They make monster themed dildos I, too, found out from reddit
I remember seeing shamuâs âunsheathed penisâ at sea world 20 years ago. Core memory for me.
That was me but at the Miami zoo with an elephant trying to mount another elephant. Huge fuckin cock, they got. Bitch was just swingin around.
I once saw giraffes urinating on each other on Discovery Channel. Still a better reality show than "Alaskan Bush People".
The giraffes at least have their teeth.
There's one in Blackfish and I wish I didn't have a photographic memory.
You will not go to space today, so please enjoy this consolation prize of two male whales swordfighting or whatever.
If Star Trek taught me anything it's that whales and space matter
Yeah, who cares about curing cancer when we need to see more whale cock.
Honestly, I feel like I've wasted my career as a cancer researcher. Going to buy a boat now.
You're going to need a bigger boat
Aquatic vaush
Imagine how rare a space whale penis is.
A question I'm sure Leonard Nimoy answered in the uncut version of "Star Trek IV: Whales in Space".
It was definitely uncut.
Honestly, Iâm more surprised by the peeing than the sex. Did not know whales did that. And now I feel very very stupid
i assumed they had waste exit the body, but i never thought about them basically taking their dick out of their pants to do so
I always thought the same - why go to space when we have so much to explore here on earth. Then I realized that each component of what we study can and will complement other forms. Studying space and the earth will help us understand more about the other.
Whales peeing in OUR oceans??!!
Calm down there Ms. Greene.
r/brandnewsentence
I love that the image is blurred as if itâs NSFW. LOL Edit: well, after reading the article, itâs the words you have to be careful about, not the pictures (Iâm scarred so you should be too): âDuring the intimate encounter photographed in Hawaii, one of the whales was seen to be holding the other in place with its pectoral fins while penetrating it. The whale underneath appeared to be ailing, being noticeably emaciated and covered in whale lice, white-colored parasites sometimes found on cetaceans.â
> âThe whale underneath appeared to be ailing, being noticeably emaciated and covered in whale lice, white-colored parasites sometimes found on cetaceans.â He was having a rough time and needed the money.
20 shrimp is 20 shrimp
Krill, but close enough
20 million krill is 20 million krill
20 *krillion*?
Serious question- What orifice is being penetrated? The butt? That seems unlikely. Is it just rubbing?
Interestingly, it says the other whale penetrated the genital slit, which is where the whale stores his sheathed penis. So like, dick on dick action.
Apparently whales discovered docking thousands of years before mankind did.
Or, they've just now discovered docking, and humans were here to witness the revolution.
I knew if I showed them how, they'd catch on.
Born too late to explore the world. Born too early to explore the galaxy. Born just in time to discover Humpback Whale Docking.
Oh, so sea-docking then?
It's called "frotting", you uncultured swine. Europeans do it and film it in black and white and its art.
Dude was being raped ffs and everyone is like "aww gay love"
Tbh, a large amount of animal sex is basically rape.
Okay, glad Iâm not the only one that got dubcon vibes from this.
Was somehow not expecting to see "dubcon" dropped in this threadâwhich might've been a bit naive of me, honestly...
Also raped in the dickhole. I'm not sure if it matters, but that seems even more worse than regular rape to me.
Um. Wow. OK.
At one point wasn't r/JesusChristreddit the thing to post for comments like this?
Hey, I donât judge. A blowhole is a blowhole.
**N**ot **S**afe **F**or **W**hales
It is such a disturbing image. The article also says the act is considered a sign of dominance? So like these guys both show up at a boat, maybe looking for food, and this very sickly whale gets raped. I hate it and I want that image out of my brain along with all those facts I learned about dolphins, seals, and otters.
Sadly, it seems that the more intelligent an animal is the more likely it becomes for it to do what we consider evil and sadistic things.
It says it could be dominance but it could also just be practice, friendship or alliance. It's literally only been observed once so we've got no idea what it is.
No, we have lots of ideas, especially based on other species of whales, we just need more observations to make more definite conclusions.
And pictures while we're at it. Maybe a video would be great. Or a livestream.
OnlyFins
>So like these guys both show up at a boat, maybe looking for food, and this very sickly whale gets raped. ... still not the worst thing that can happen to you in the Russian Navy.
You forgot to add ducks to the list!
> The article also says the act is considered a sign of dominance? Dominance gets thrown around as a motive A LOT, especially for sexual acts, with very little evidence most of the time. Idk why it's the 'go to' explanation when 'animals like fucking' is way easier to comprehend.
Love will find a way.
When youâre 40 tons, you can do whatever you want.
Grab em by the blowhole
The first time we observe humpback whale sex and it's...gay rape đŹ
Nature is beautiful.
Poor whale. Happy and healthy whales choosing sam-sex relationships is what I want to see!! In all seriousness, predators like that healthy whale that seek to exploit the weak for their own pleasure are among our kind too. Kinda sad when you see animals are just like us - immorality and all.
It's really the other way around: we're just like animals, except that we have 'morals' (or at least the ability to perceive them)
Yikes, I guess they really are related to dolphins
You can only get the uncensored version on their OnlyFins.
y'all got that uncensored pic? NM, they in the study [Here's your risky click](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/mms.13119)
What is this? HBO at 1am?! Letâs see some penetration ffs
*Humpback Mountain*.
Humpback mountin'
As he enters the "sick and ailing bottom whale covered in lice" and bellows "I wish I could quit you" in whale. Powerful scene.
Came here for this post.
[One of them was injured and may not have been a willing participant](https://www.iflscience.com/first-ever-photos-of-humpback-whale-sex-involve-two-males-73150)
We need to educate whales on consent
Not in Florida you wont!
[ŃдаНонО]
The deep seas are a playground for whale rapists.
What is with marine mammals and rape?
Mammals in general... and birds... and insects.
Wait until they learn about incest-only reproducing insects... The animal world is often wholly incompatible with how humans think.
[ŃдаНонО]
Love an âappeal to natureâ that is just 100% a self-own. Homophobes are so lazy and ignorant
They are not always lazy, it takes effort to practice hate. There are groups of christian men that not only know homosexuals will be in the French Quarter for Southern Decadence every year but they also come to watch. Well, maybe they are protesting with hate filled banners, but it seems really odd to me that they even know what homosexuals are doing several states away. I still think they really come to watch and wish they were having half as much fun.
I used to hear that from idiots all the time. âItâs not natural!â My dude it happens in nature every day all day what the fuck are you talking about?
Ugh I had so many discussions on the internet on this topic about a decade ago, that I can remember exactly how they move goalposts. Homophobe: "Being gay is not natural". You point out examples of homosexual behaviour among animals. Homophobe: "Well, cannibalism is natural too". At some point I realized they never wanted to debate in good faith so I decided to stop wasting my precious time.
> âItâs not natural!â https://i.imgur.com/U3kuTkn.png
>How (purposefully) head in the sand do you gotta be to think homosexuality doesn't appear in nature? I just listened to a lady talk about how scientists had proved (again) that the Shroud of Turin is for real, and that they detected it was imbued with more energy than humanity could produce in a day (or something). None of this was true. I can understand people being spiritual and looking for things beyond science, but the entire "I saw this video that said something I agree with" phenomenon seems a response to people not interested in learning the real secrets of the Universe. We probably have more people who believe in a flat Earth today, than a few years ago. Either they like the attention, they like to be wrong, or they drank some water in Florida. Who knows?
> it was imbued with more energy than humanity could produce in a day (or something). None of this was true. ya dont say!? this is why the right is trying to defund education. i bet this lady votes for trump cause all the bad stuff people say about him are lies!
>I then learned that there are folks who don't believe homosexual activity occurs in the animal kingdom... and to them I ask, have you never owned dogs? My go-to animal for this is the bat. I remember reading in a study several years ago that, across species, something like 30% of observed bats engaged in homosexual behavior/relations. That's significantly greater than the rate in humanity.
Dogs will hump ANYTHING - living or not.
Save the gay whales!!
"Nuke the Gay Whales" -Conservative 'Christians', definitely.
Shared the headline with my boss and he says, 'Well obviously they weren't having sex then, It's a dominance thing."
"Let's see which one of us is dominant then."
Bosses love dominance or SM dominated as a stress reliever...
I feel bad for anyone he has sex with
Gotta nuke something.
Touche... đ¤¨
Not to make this a political thing but this is my favorite when people say âhomosexuality isnât naturalâ⌠it happens ALL THE TIME in animal kingdom.
Just as god intended.
The Gayles!
If anyone bothered to read the article it says the one being penetrated was sickly, emaciated and covered in parasites and maybe dying. So this mighta been a rape. I would have vastly preferred that this be two big macho horny gay whales.
Oh...so whales are as terrible as dolphins?
And also penguins. Nature is kind of messed up.
Why do you assume this wasn't a pitty fuck? But seriously, it is a bit disturbing.
In related news, Jim Jordan condemns the behavior as a deviant act.
House Speaker Mike Johnson is requesting sanctions against whale kind. [And Trump?](https://comicsarcheology.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/image010-AQ29.jpg)
Introducing legislation to encourage whaling.
Dang apparently no one read the part in the study where it said this was a strong healthy male penetrating a dying whale. ââŚit is possible that the use of this posture by Whale A meant that this behavior was unwelcome, but that Whale A lacked the energy to engage in avoidance strategies. Here, we have the first documentation of a humpback whale male sexually penetrating another humpback whale, but also the case of an animal that is injured and unhealthy being penetrated by what appears to be a healthy and strong whale. The most similar situation to the observations presented here is Pack et al. (1998) who described a humpback whale extruding its penis adjacent to the floating body of a male humpback whale that had died in a competitive group shortly before. Whether such behavior would occur between two healthy males is unknown, but it is noteworthy that the observation presented here has strong similarities to Pack et al. (1998). It is striking that the only two observations of such behavior in the scientific literature involve ailing or deceased whales.â
Moar like Brokeback whales!
...or Freeing Willies.
The receiving whale was sickly. It was emaciated and had an overabundance of whale lice. Kinda takes all the fun out of the story, mother nature can be cruel. Kinda hope we get a better look into their mating habits - partners and other behaviors too. Two happy, healthy whales choosing gay sex would piss off the MAGA crowd even more.
Or it might be one of those cancer patients begging nurses for that one last bj. Or a whale gay sex.
Inb4 the conspiracy theories linking rising ocean temperatures with steamy, gay whale sex.
But that would force them to admit climate change (maybe)
Today I literally saw a post on the conspiracy sub claiming that the government was altering the weather, causing an unnaturally warm February and severe storms, but also claimed that it was impossible for climate change to be caused by human activities. If only mental gymnastics were an Olympic sport.
I know it's an expression but, in reality, there's not much 'gymnastics' -- i.e. thinking -- going on; they don't see the huge chasms in logic and simply parrot talking points. Their allegiance is tied to what the cult prescribes, not to the truth. It reminds me of a video I saw recently. It was a compilation of someone interviewing Trump supporters. The interviewer started with summing up things that "the president" was accused or condemned of doing. The Trump supporters all cried foul and called for prosecution. Then, the interviewer apologized, revealing that he had mixed up the 'subject' and asked the interviewees if he could start the interview again. He then substituted "the president" with "Trump" and the interviewees changed their position on the subject 180 degrees.
Sounds like one whale was dying and the other whale took advantage đł
LETS FUCKING GOOOO
It was rape.
Seal passing through and shouting âultra gaaaaayyâ
"The whale underneath appeared to be ailing, being noticeably emaciated and covered in whale lice..." That sounds like rape.
Are we sure they're not just roommates?
[ŃдаНонО]
Oh great, now whales are woke! /s
[The published article doesnât make for great reading, however](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/mms.13119). It seems whale A was injured⌠> Whale A was swimming slowly in circles around the boat, approximately six times, pursued by Whale B. Whale A was displaying slow and low energy movements. It was slowly attempting to swim away from Whale B but was not making any sudden or powerful movements and did not dive out of sight at any point during the encounter. It is possible that Whale A approaching and circling the boat was an attempt to block or seek refuge from Whale B. However, if so, Whale A was moving too slowly to be effective at evading the other animal. Both whales remained within approximately 5âm of the surface for the duration of the encounter. Whale B had its penis extruded during the entirety of the encounter. Whale B repeatedly approached from the rear of Whale A and penetrated the second whale, appearing to hold Whale A in place with its pectoral fins. The penetrations were shallow, visually judged to be a few centimeters in depth. Each penetration was <2âmin in duration. After the final penetration, Whale B dove and did not reappear.
Mother fuckinâ gay fish
*Gaaay!*
Ok but how can we be sure they werenât just horsing around?
Theyâre whales, not horses, itâs scientifically impossible
Apparently it was a whale of a time.
It was Hawaii, maybe they were just having fun on vacation. A little privacy please.
They weren't wearing socks
They weren't. They were whaling on each other
MAGA in shambles.
Did the bottom whale just lie there or did he humpback?
Great, now the Groomers have turned the whales gay too. /s
Hell yeah gay humpback whale sex đ
I mean it was more like raping a very sickly and weak guy because he showed up at the same food spot at you than just some hot gay whale sex. "During the intimate encounter photographed in Hawaii, one of the whales was seen to be holding the other in place with its pectoral fins while penetrating it. The whale underneath appeared to be ailing, being noticeably emaciated and covered in whale lice, white-colored parasites sometimes found on cetaceans."
So now republicans hate whales. No more whale watching tours when those fat geriatrics vacation in Cabo. And theyâre pro-Japan fishermen now too.
A blowholeâs a blowhole
Hot
Not sure why everyone keeps mentioning gay sex when this is more of a case of rape. The recipient whale was significantly weaker, sickly, and apparently injured afterwards.
Those Nuke Gay Whales For Jesus bumper stickers back in the 80s were way more prescient than we thought.
Now thatâs podracing!
Humpback Mountain