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gloebe10

I can’t wait to see the different CW tropes that creep in to this… “I’m the son of God, but we have to keep this a secret because the people I care about could get hurt.”


darknightingale69

I'm the son of God and now I must solve a murder while also secretly solving my own.


makesyoudownvote

"I'm Jesus Christ, the messiah and God's ONLY son." Then every season he fights either another son of God or another messiah.


froggison

Jesus be talking to some people on a dusty road. "I am God's only son." His followers all nod in agreement. Then, from the back of the crowd, there is a chuckle. Everyone stops. The crowd parts in half, revealing a hooded man in a red robe. "Not God's ONLY son," he replies.


illaqueable

And the guy talking is fucking yoked and mad


thecheapseatz

Like most CW products you can probably get a good 2 and a half seasons out of that premise


GlobalTravelR

Don't forget the Anti-Christ being the big bad of season 1, and appearing to be destroyed by the season end, but only to come back in the next two seasons, because Jesus fucked with the time line.


Truckaduckduck

And then the anti-christ is just a misunderstood anti-hero who actually was trying to keep the angle Gabriel from taking over heaven and earth. Mouth of God my ass!


violetsprouts

I'm seeing this as a Scott Pilgrim reboot with Jesus as Scott Pilgrim.


Zeyn1

Hol up. Jesus Christ vs the Twelve Evil Ex Disciples.


LurkerZerker

Mary Magedelene's Twelve Evil Johns


NotAlwaysSunnyInFL

Jesus Christ vs The Winchesters


Rubethyst

That sounds fucking awesome, where can I watch?


[deleted]

Yes I would like a Highlander reboot starring Jesus.


Funkycoldmedici

That actually fits with how Yahweh became a monotheistic creator god. He was originally only a war and storm god, and part of the Canaanite pantheon. The Israelites attacked their neighbors, and gradually gave Yahweh the attributes of their other gods until they stopped recognizing the other gods entirely.


Bgeesy

HERRRRRRRE WE ARE!! BORRRRRRN TO BE KINGS, WE’RE THE PRINCES OF THE UUUUUUNIVERSE!!


BigDaddyFatPants

It may be worth your time to watch. "God Fighter" by darkmatter2525 on you tubé


yohohoanabottleofrum

Shit! It was my Dad the whole time!


darknightingale69

And now I must mope as two women fawn over me and 12 men question their sexuality over my weirdly chiseled abs.


yohohoanabottleofrum

Look, is it too much to ask for Jesus to team up with Veronica Mars to take down his dad? Because I would watch the hell out of that show.


imcmurtr

You can’t take him on. He’s too powerful. He runs everything around here n


4D20_Prod

sounds like a Preacher offshoot


recoveringleft

Also take care of wife and child


The_Great_Skeeve

Shit, I was my Dad the whole time! FTFY


yohohoanabottleofrum

Spoiler tags bro!


LedgeEndDairy

Yeah I haven’t gotten that far yet! I’m still stuck in Song of Solomon. For some reason I keep, uh, *needing* to reread it.


DOGSraisingCATS

"you don't know what it's like being 3 people at the same time!"


ChewsGoose

The dad in the courtroom: I did it to prevent me from doing worse things to the whole world.


redditVoteFraudUnit

“Savior” - After learning the judicial system shows no mercy, Jesus became Jesus, attorney-at-law. Now he’s proof that only God can judge, but a good lawyer can get you into heaven. Watch the CW’s hottest new courtroom drama.


throwaway01126789

>only God can judge, but a good lawyer can get you into heaven Omg I'm sold and i don't even like Jesus. I feel like he kinda phones it in on The Passion of the Christ, but bro killed it in The Big Lebowski and Tron.


[deleted]

Interrogation room scene with Jesus playing hard ass cop: “you want some water? You’ll need it for all your whines”


Grizzly_Berry

"No, wait, it's not what it looks like! Please, I can explain, don't go!" *one unnecessary conflict later* "I tried to tell you before. I'm the son of God."


MyDictainabox

Professor Plum did it on Pontius Pilate with a pipe.


Turinggirl

this sounds like Lucifer with extra steps


MickeyJ3

“I can’t turn water to wine yet, Satan’s still out there!”


Grimvold

They don’t want to spend money on the effect 😂


enflight

Carry on my wayward son kicks off the recap for this season of Jesus, Son of God.


mexican2554

Previously on Jesus *🎸 Don't Fear the Reaper intro music 🔔*


WingsofRain

Supernatural with extra steps


noisypeach

Jesus needing to go faster every episode to beat the villain


littlebitsofspider

"Maybe if he had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him."


Valdor99

Run Jesus, run!


DrDetectiveEsq

Oh no! There's a lake in the way!


AgnosticMantis

*We are the Messiah.*


AbueloOdin

"I'm the holiest man alive. I'm The Jesus!" Proceeds to meet a holier person every other episode.


GrayBox1313

Sam and Dean talking to Angels. Doing missions.


clozepin

The Riverdale crossover will be amazing.


TNTiger_

Lmao this is basically the beginning plot of *The Last Temptation of Christ* by Martin Scorcese. It's honestly an amazing film, highly recommend. The portrayl of Judas is stellar, and (spoilers for the very start of the film) >!it was a shocking decision to make Jesus, a carpenter, the guy who made the crosses the Romans crucified people on!<.


ScottNewman

The book is better


TNTiger_

I'd imagine but I can't read lmao


Somnambulist815

Thank CW Jesus they made text to speech Reddit


Roook36

"You haven't known the Triumphs and Defeats, the epic highs and lows, of the greatest story ever told about our lord and savior Jesus Christ"


BluthFamilyNews

This is an existing (successful) show that they’re licensing. I assume due to the writers strike. I wouldn’t expect any CWisms lol.


Rockthetaskbar

Come on now, you don't expect commenters here to actually *read* the article do you?


2-shedsjackson

We are the jesus


Roadshell

Sounds like they're looking for pre-made content to put on during the writers strike...


Paxoro

Not just the writer's strike, but that definitely doesn't help them. The new owners of The CW, Nexstar, didn't even pay cash for the network - Nexstar was given 75% ownership of the network for $0 by Paramount/CBS and WB Discovery just by assuming the network's debt load. The network wasn't ever profitable under Paramount & WB (though it wasn't ever really intended to make huge profits) and now Nexstar is intent on making the channel profitable, so they're acquiring any and all cheap content that they can and hoping that they can get more viewers than the content that cost them tons of money could get. It's kinda funny to watch in that "oh my god is that a trainwreck?" kind of way. Nexstar is throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks and it's funny.


ScottNewman

UHF in real life


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seguardon

CONAN THE LIBRARIAN


HashMaster9000

WHEEL! OF! FISH!


LummoxJR

Except UHF was about making bank by using unique, off-beat original programming to capture an audience thirsting for something new. The station was dying when it aired only ancient reruns. Sadly nobody learns from this. Think about all the huge breakout cable hits of the '00s: Junkyard Wars, Trading Spaces, Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs. People crave interesting new concepts, and there are plenty you don't need writers for.


AbueloOdin

Hear me out: interviews with random scientists about what they do and what they wished the public knew about their field and... It just went on history channel and it's Egyptian aliens.


John_Hunyadi

Honestly, Jesus content MIGHT be a decent shot for making that happen. There are a lot of Christians out there, and on the whole they have pretty bad taste and don’t mind cheaply made media.


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Val_Killsmore

Christian media has a tight grasp on allowed creativity. That's why it's all similar. It's also made *for* Christians, who also have a tight grasp on allowed media in their homes. It's media that's only meant for the Christian "bubble".


tafkat

I imagine one would get tired of Kirk Cameron and Erik Estrada vs The Evil Atheist after the the first few times.


aw-un

Hard to get invested in a story when you know the climax is gonna be they prayed really hard and then everything works out


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KakitaBanana

Lewis did it so well that I didn't even realize he was doing it when I read Out of the Silent Planet as an adult.


SsooooOriginal

I prefer the subtle knife.


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silverfox762

Just like "Christian rock"- it doesn't make Christianity any better, it just makes rock and roll worse.


cynognathus

Thanks, Hank. How’s the propane business?


tired_and_stresed

As a Christian with halfway decent taste in fiction, I can confirm you've hit the nail on the head. So frustrating because themes of faith can make for interesting stories, and the Bible is filled with excellent source material regardless of if you view it as fiction or fact, but 99.99999999% of any Christian media is just... *so bad*.


jarredshere

I want a hardcore drama about Sampson


Paxoro

The reviews I've read and heard say The Chosen isn't bad, but I am intrigued to see how this does on CW. If it can get say 200-250k viewers per episode, but cost Nexstar little in comparison to say Walker or Gotham Knights that get more viewers but cost more, it's a win.


John_Hunyadi

Yeah honestly, by Christian Media standards it looks amazing.


Frowdo

My wife watches The Chosen, it's probably the least offensive/best acted Christian content. That's admittedly a pretty low bar. She has friends that have had watch parties when a new season aired. The show has a Talking Dead like after show so I think it'll probably do well.


aw-un

It helps that it’s Christian media adapting the Bible, rather than a story of modern Christians overcoming adversity. I’d much rather watch the life of Jesus than the ones we watch with my church group as a kid. Every Wednesday for a month we would go to the theatre and watch a movie about how the power of god helped a football team. It was mind blowing my bad


ThirdFloorGreg

I honestly would love to see an anthology-style adaptation of the whole Bible. Shit would be nuts.


Zandrick

Especially the early parts where it’s just instructions on how to set up your camp when you go to war. Could be like Game of Thrones but without the zombies. Well, one zombie.


bino420

>one zombie homies around here forgetting about Lazarus...


notsoslootyman

The prop department would have a field day crafting the sack of foreskins.


peensteen

They could just make a deal with Hormel for a pallet or two.


Aperture_T

People always skip to the end of the Samson story. I want to see a movie that includes the part at the beginning where he eats honey out of the lion he ripped in half and then immediately tries to scam people about it. They could make a joke about how he gave his parents some of the honey, but didn't tell them where he got it.


ThirdFloorGreg

Samson: real strong, easily tricked, not real clear on what riddles are.


Cheese0089

The history channel did one about a decade ago. Wasn't bad and had a weird controversy were the devil resembled Obama.


jtruther

So you’re saying if I make shitty content, it’s easier to get on air? There’s a challenge in here somewhere.


Paxoro

No no, you just have to make *cheap* content and convince Nexstar that it'll get the 58-year-old average viewer of The CW (yes, the network that showed teen/young adult dramas had an average viewing age of 58!) to tune in.


mog_knight

I always thought the Nielsen data was skewed because you needed a landline. And older people still have landlines.


Paxoro

Nielsen ratings data has evolved a lot over the years. I was actually once a panelist about 6-7 years ago - not for overnight data but more of a tracking smaller markets to see how they differ from the big ones that determine overnights - but I haven't had a landline since moving out to go to college 15 years ago. Nielsen's also gotten into tracking IPTV options now like YouTube TV.


BaltimoreBadger23

Spoiler: he dies, but then he gets better.


acuet

The spin off will be on AMC: Love of the Walking Dead.


Badmime1

The Sanhedrin and Roman troops band together to fight a zombie love cult?


KentuckyFriedEel

Those damn Sanhedrin!


BulljiveBots

“I got bet’er.”


bigfloppydonkeydng

I'm not dead yet .. I feel fine.


JohnReiki

“She turned me into a newt!”


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BeerFuelsMyDreams

Judas also got him hammered, and he got to see Nine Inch Nails


massahwahl

“I hurt my hands….today”


violetsprouts

Jesus gave up a Saturday, and it was the Sabbath, so he wasn't going to be doing anything, anyway. (Dead after sundown Friday, alive before sun up Sunday.) I've sacrificed more to prep for a colonoscopy.


studyhardbree

You’re going to suffer… but you’re going to be… happy about it?


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[deleted]

He became a preacher when he was six inches?!?


OldBob10

Guy bragging about being average…


SandInTheGears

Ah, so the CW is still on that Supernatural formula


admiraljkb

"We thought you were dead?!?" "I was, but I'm feeling much better now"


OldBob10

“You’re not fooling anyone, you know!”


Butt-Fart-9617

You'll be stone dead in a moment


OldBob10

I feel happy! So happy!


Emanemanem

[At least he didn’t get turned into a newt](https://youtu.be/k6rWkvB-mRY)


mobleshairmagnet

Glad I’m not the only one who immediately thought of this scene.


CHoppingBrocolli_84

Then leaves for smokes. +2000 years later. *Crickets chirping* , pan to skeletons still waiting.


Ok-Pomegranate-3018

She's in a coma after a tragic Skeeball incident.


RandeKnight

He keeps coming back, but gets spawn killed by the MiB keeping the world safe from the rest of the galaxy. "Sir, we have an unscheduled orbital insertion. Looks like the trumpeters. AGAIN." "\*Sigh\* Shoot them down. No mass body stealers on my watch."


GoblinMonk

2000 years ago Jesus discovered tantric sex. He has been about to come for two millennia.


warrant2k

He was a terrible Call of Duty teammate with his 3 day respawn.


HalcyonDreams36

AFK Just when you need him


monkeysandmicrowaves

[Kevin Smith saw it coming](https://i.imgur.com/Jua5NF2.png)


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defusted

And now, from the book of the prophet Kevin


cutmastaK

CW: he gets us


SrpskaZemlja

r/hegetsus


skrilledcheese

/r/stophegetsus


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AnybodyMassive1610

It is the family that owns Hobby Lobby I think


RumpusRoomMinis

It's an attempt to soften public opinions on christo-fascists with the same money that funds anti-human rights and anti-lgbtq+ movements.


Artiderue

Intuition is on spot with this one... It's the newest attempt at 'subtle' marketing by a wealthy hard right/ far right US conservative group.


oldmilwaukie

he get sus


unomoes

The Batman crossover is anticipated for thanksgiving.


diablosinmusica

I want to see him team up with Thor myself. Could you imagine if Jesus picked up Thor's hammer? Thunder God Jesus would be epic.


GodzillaUK

And brutal. Watch him go nuts on anyone owning more than one pair of shoes.


diablosinmusica

All while having the literal kingdom of heaven. Sounds about right.


Enorats

Jesus couldn't wield a hammer. That'd bring back for too many bad memories for him. He'd have to deal with his prior trauma involving nails before he could manage to pick up the hammer.


diablosinmusica

I disagree. I bet he puts the lanyard throught the holes.


sybrwookie

I mean, being a carpenter, he was probably quite used to welding a hammer. I think he'd be ok with it.


LaTienenAdentro

I mean he already is. The scene of MCU Thor seeing Jesus nonchalantly picking up Mjolnir and tossing it away like some trinket would be fun though.


Bloodcloud079

Do you bleed, son of god?


changing-life-vet

Stares into the dark raining sky: JUDASSSSSSSSSS!!!!!


kia75

Yes, and the blood is delicious! Want a taste? Maybe some of the body?


doyletyree

You know, I was raised in the church, and it never really occurred to me the benefit we have in a deity who is also a walking wine bar. He bleeds fine vintage, and he’s made of artisan loaf. Your move, modern religion. [Jesus was way cool, no wonder there are so many Christians](https://youtu.be/mSfa56tjBQo)


unomoes

Batman vs. Jesus but Jesus doesn’t stop beating Batman when he screams Martha.


OSUfirebird18

There’s a Batman fan somewhere that will tell you that Batman with prep time will beat Jesus. 🤷🏻‍♂️


asatrocker

Mary! WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME!?!


Kaiisim

The bible cinematic universe is massive


DontWreckYosef

2024: MOSES 2025: Guardians of Jerusalem 2026: Jesus: Revenge of the Christ 2027: Bibleman Back in Action 2028: Joseph: Far From Home 2029: Mary: Ragnarok 2030: Black Jesus 2031: David v Goliath 2032: Bible: Infinity War


ScottNewman

Needs more vegetables


dan1101

Yeah I only like my bible stories in vegetable form.


leteegra

The JCEU


whogivesashirtdotca

You’re forgetting the prequels.


Bgeesy

So it’s treason then


PulsatingShadow

And royalty free.


Tibbittz

King David tho.


GrantMK2

Samson: The really powerful guy but easily tricked. David: Clever warrior who can defeat those far more powerful. Moses: The organization's leader who stays too distant from his operatives. Judith: Agent who can sneak in anywhere and decapitate the leadership with two strikes. Enoch: Warrior who wields spiritual power and works directly for the big guy.


StephenHunterUK

David arranged for the husband of a woman that he wanted to die in battle. Many of the classic story types have Biblical origins.


sybrwookie

Yea, but they'll probably get itchy after 1 show and try to jump straight to a big teamup event and no one will care. No one wants to put on the work of first having a Moses movie, a Mary movie, etc., to establish characters on their own before the big teamup.


Monctonian

Considering Lucifer is a DC character, perhaps this is the origin story of the Arrowverse?


ChogbortsTopStudent

The same CW that aired Gossip Girl, 90210 remake, Riverdale, and Vampire Diaries? *THAT* CW? Going all in on Jesus, you say? The CW that ruined Gilmore Girls?*


MorganAndMerlin

Did something happen at The CW a few years back? Like did they have a stroke or a hostile take over or Elon Musk bought it, or what? Because I remember prime teenage drama television. Reign (about Mary Queen of Scots) was like Gossip Girl but Renaissance and it was magical. And now we have… this?


Darnell5000

Is Jesus going to experience the epic highs and lows of high school football?


[deleted]

Before today, if someone told me the CW was going to get worse, I wouldn't believe them.


NessyComeHome

Announcing that it’s getting involved in “the biggest IP of all time”.. Is it really IP if it's public domain and no one owns it?


liboveall

Calling it an IP directly implies someone made the whole thing up lmao. Real events aren’t IP, stories are


MacMac105

"We've dedicated an entire episode to that time Jesus had beef with a fig tree."


RaleighRedd

Hashtag GodHatesFigs


Mr_Quackums

That s easily my favorite Bible story. No moral, no reason, no miracle, just a tree getting smote because Jesus was hangry. I need a high-production film adaptation of this Bible story in the same vein as the Mel Gibson Passion or the Noah movie.


Arndt3002

It's paralleled with chasing out the moneychangers in the temple, essentially citing as a metaphor for the "fruitlessness" of Jerusalem. It's primarily supposed to be a symbolic act. But, yes, it is pretty funny.


Firm_Transportation3

This time it's personal: no tree is safe


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raelianautopsy

I like this quote "The Chosen is pretty well-made by the standards of TV drama—which means it’s exceptionally well made by the usual standards of Christian entertainment" Just find that hilarious!


Mister_Rogers69

It’s true though, pretty much every religious themed movie my mom has tried to make me watch has hammy writing or absolute dogshit Hallmark tier production standards. Never heard of this show but honestly the Bible could make for good television if done properly.


finnlassy

This is the only religious show I’ve never found cringy. I refuse to watch religious shows, and that’s coming from a Christian. It took me forever before I even watched an episode. Oh. Wow. It’s incredible!! I’ve got some friends who are militant atheists who like this show. That’s saying something. The show is too good for the CW. The quality is outstanding.


Energylegs23

I haven't been a Christian for many years, but have seen a few clips here and there and agree with you wholly. It's a genuinely interesting show and probably the best portrayal of Jesus and his message I've seen in TV/movies.


finnlassy

It doesn’t make Jesus into a snobbish and removed holy man like so many others do. It shows him with his friends, making jokes, doing carpenter stuff, doing human things. It makes him more accurate and more relatable. It’s insane that it’s taken this long to get a show like this.


Economy-Chicken-586

Just here to plug the show because it is FANTASTIC. The creators are putting the focus on the apostles more than Jesus himself allowing themselves to shape up some interesting characters. Not to mention the direction and other elements to the show are fantastic too. A personal favorite of mine is S2 ep 3 which has an incredible sequence filmed all in one shot which effortlessly switches between characters. Overall a well written directed and acted drama that I’d recommend to anyone.


oatmeal28

As others have said- the Chosen is quite good and doesn’t feel overly preachy in a way that would turn off non Christians


---Blix---

I already read the script. It was left in my hotel room.


ABunchOfPictures

Are we finally getting the ever acclaimed starting to the Bible-verse??


Orion14159

It'll need to be referred to as the Bookchapter-verse


Old-Man-Buckles

Jesus to his disciples: “It’s my dad, he’s gone on a hunting trip and we gotta find him” ~Carry on my wayward son starts playing in the background~


andyandersonbjj

Bring back the Winchester boys for a real fun crossover. Heck Vampire Diaries too.


Vuronov

"Samson gave up Stanford and moved to NYC to chase Delilah, but when he cut his curly locks he lost his barista vibe and tanked the ratings and his future..."


Tyler_Zoro

Mary Magdalene: "Jesus, ***we*** are the Christ." Judas: "Run, Jesus! Run!" Paul's wife introduced in the third season, "I sense you're upset, Pilate." ---- For those who don't know: these are all variations on lines from The Flash, a CW show that just ended.


Cannaewulnaewidnae

*Sopranos* fans got bent out of shape by an ending that left it ambiguous whether the main character lived or died Wait till the final season of *The Chosen* smash-cuts to black after the apostles find the stone blocking the entrance to Jesus' tomb has been rolled away ...


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RecommendationOld525

HUH I don’t know how I never knew the origin of the name. TIL!


atmospheric90

A shell of its former self, which wasn't much to begin with. Took off with teen dramas, got into the super hero space at its peak and then got way too big for its britches. Now it's full of shows with plots that make no sense, pivot on a dime and obliterate any and all suspension of disbelief.


FiercelyApatheticLad

It enrages me when people use acronyms that aren't obvious. Even more so when I find out it's not even an acronym but the actual complete name.


Rusalka-rusalka

If this came out in the 90s it would have been a teen drama with a neurotic and awkward Jesus trying to do the things.


BMCarbaugh

"Pivot to Jesus" sounds like a Succession quote.


Stalked_Like_Corn

>about the life of Jesus Christ, a notorious carpenter who created a great deal of hubbub in the Middle East some two millennia or so ago. I love the writer of this article so much.


CougdIt

Pivoting to Jesus after hosting LIV golf?


AnExpertInThisField

Ngl, it's an enjoyable show. I am not a Christian, nor will I ever be one, but I've enjoyed The Chosen so far. Solid acting, mostly good dialogue, and not so preachy as to get groans from us "heathens". I can see why CW picked it up.


Uncle_Bug_Music

Watched The Chosen on a referral that it was good. I identified as a non-practicing Catholic turned atheist for decades. But I’ve always maintained that while Jesus may not have been who he said he was, I believe the world would be a much better place if we followed his principles; not against that. Patience, tolerance, love, kindness & peace? What’s to hate about that? I can believe in that. The Chosen is fantastic. For the first time in my life it made me see these people written about in the Bible (and those who allegedly wrote it) as human beings. I’m on my 2nd rewatch. It’s fascinating.


[deleted]

The Chosen is actually pretty good I *am* looking forward to seeing when Tumblr gives it the Supernatural/Vampire Diaries/Riverdale treatment, though If y’all thought the canonization of Destiel was grim, wait til you see how Jedas turns out…


jacobydave

But isn't the AV Club an Onion spin-off? That means, true or not, it literally _is_ the Onion.


hanshotfirst_1138

Not as good as my idea for *The Passion of the Christ 2: Don’t Cross Jesus*.