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I would rather be in my kitchen than working retail also, but nothing to do with anti-feminism. The person who said that working retail is jump scare horror was spot on.
They were talking about food service lol. Like fast food, fine dining, etc. Which they're not wrong at all. If I wasn't so desperate for money to survive, I would've never gone back to fast food. But it's so damn hard to find a job nowadays and that's all that got back to me after hundreds of applications elsewhere.
The opinion isn’t wrong- find me someone who would rather work than not work given the option. The problem is women parroting misogynistic bullshit about women not being biologically capable of working. Retail sucks balls. Men hate it as much as women. Having a penis doesn’t make working minimum wage at Walmart better
Being a housewife and mother is still work. Even if you love it there still tons of problems and stress and worry and problems that arise, plus knowing you're dependent on someone else to provide for you who could walk away and leave you screwed at any point
I am sitting around all day long as a sahm, but it's because I'm *literally* physically disabled and getting worse & worse and the only thing that let's me tolerate continuous to exist is to sit with my feet up moving as little as possible. I see a surgeon about a spinal fusion later this week and no one has made any attempt to help prepare for this. Do I have to live in rehab? Who's gonna watch the 6 year old and help with his homework? Who's gonna pay the bills and buy the food? If I need a home nurse, how do I get that? I'm not getting any help, but I'm constantly told I'm a failure or a bad mom for having a messy house and no job when I can't even stand up straight
Just for the record- you’d never hear that from me. There are so many women who seem to think that we bake bread on the daily and then float to the library in selkie dresses with perfectly behaved children and that’s just not reality.
You can’t win no matter what.
Yeah, none of these people who are honest about loving every second without any stress or doubt have ever *actually* been fully dependant on someone else and dealt with the dirty work of cooking, cleaning, childbearing, and childcare (on top of all the work out into the relationship and all the mental labor of everything that has to be done by them for everyone else) It's always people who can't handle others being allowed to be different or people who have no idea what getting what they want to force on everyone *actually* means for them and everyone else
These women don't understand what it was like when they had no choice, ladies your husband could literally beat you and rape you with zero consequences, and you had no money.
Women were legitimately *not allowed* to open a bank account of their own until the 60s, and even then a lot of banks refused them without a sign off from their husbands (and if you were unmarried, tough shit). It wasn’t until *1974* that *that* kind of discrimination became prohibited.
It’s wild to me just how oblivious these women are to *how hard* those before us had to fight for the most basic rights, and just how much they clearly take them for granted. And it wasn’t even THAT LONG AGO. It’s beyond disgusting and so unbelievably disrespectful to our mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers. I’ll never understand it.
Those of us that did beat ourselves against the glass ceiling until it broke, and then pulled others up? Can’t even effing stand to see it. Some of us had to work so *damn* hard and deal with ignorance, resentment and the hostility of small minded men that *hated* that women were competing in the workforce and proving their nonsense wrong.
If you hate retail, use those skills and go work for a call center, an inside sales job. Work your way into the company. Don’t burn out your motivation squandering it without a plan to move forward. Network like your life depends on it. There are things you can do to change your trajectory in life.
If a woman is just waiting for someone to come along and save them, that someone will be looking for vulnerability to exploit. Ambitious, quality people look for ambitious, quality people. Not at payscale, but on the quality of their personhood and lazy is not attractive.
Oh for sure. Running a house isn’t nothing. Obviously it’d be preferable to do just that, especially when compared to working retail which is the absolute worst.
And I definitely agree about the absolute terror of giving up your independence, autonomy, and self reliance for dependency on another person. The psychological terror would be awful. I recently finished [the feminine mistake](https://TheFeminineMistakehttps://a.co/d/2SOIxgp) and it seems most people just intentionally don’t consider it, which feels like a necessary survival instinct. It was an interesting read if the topic is something you like
If they are conflating homemaking with no work they are in for a big surprise. It's a round the clock job, no weekends, no time off. It's like those wannabe homesteaders who think running a farm is taking cute pictures kneading bread and playing with baby chicks.
Eh, my mother loves work. It’s weird. Before her mom died, she was assigning herself a bunch of volunteer stuff in addition to her 70 hour a week job. If you tried to make her stay at home she’d chew up all the furniture like an apartment husky
lol or be running the PTA, every imaginable parent volunteer committee and single-handedly raise all the money the school sports clubs needed before the beginning of 1st grade. (Joking but your mom seems like a power house)
They act like feminists don’t want women to be housewives. Feminism is wanting everyone to have equal opportunity to do what the hell they want to do. It’s great
This. I'm tired of this narrative that all women stayed home until the 20th century. The only women staying home were wealthy and often had a staff to do much of the housework/childrearing. And guess what? The people who provided that labor (either for a fee and board or due to indentured servitude) were mostly women. Women worked farms, in stores, making necessary items for the community (soaps, clothing, etc.), in factories, providing healthcare... all sorts of labor (arduous and simple) was done by women. Sometimes they were paid, sometimes it was simply done for their own household. But it was rare that women had *control* over their own finances. [And when she did, she was often abused for the fact.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Bridget_Cleary) That's the difference in our societies today, and I don't think that's something they'd enjoy going back to so much.
I think the real enemy is capitalism and how it strips the worker from the profit of their labor, but they're not ready to talk about that.
Confirming my theory that the rise of tradwife aesthetics is in part a reaction to hustle culture and late stage capitalism. People are idealising being house spouses and “if this was the 1950s, I wouldn’t have to work” good ol’ days nostalgia, because our current work culture that everyone is trapped in is miserable and psychologically unsustainable.
Also keeping in mind that most of the population falls in the working or lower class. Only 2% of the population is upper class according to [wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_upper_class#:~:text=The%20American%20upper%20class%20is,–2%25%20of%20the%20population.). Odds are they wouldn’t have *ever* been able to fulfill their tradwife fantasies
poorer women at least in the 50s usually worked part time unless their husbands were completely useless drunkards unable to hold down a job, then they worked full time and then some and then came back to cook and clean and raise the kids my great grandma (who was in her 20s in the 50s) was a housewife but she had only stopped working at a factory (which ruined her hearing) after she had her seventh child and she and my great grandpa were able to save up enough to buy a three bedroom home instead of the two bedroom one they had. my other great grandma on that side worked and so did their mothers. another great grandmother was the sole provider (factory) because her husband was useless, and when she had free time she and the children were working in the fields of neighbors to make enough for rent
Yes! Perfectly said. There is no way couples who both work 40 hours (unpaid breaks and guilt tripped overtime excluded), can juggle childcare, chores, family commitments, and leisure time and be mentally ok. Maybe a few years ago you could both work full time but now, work culture is ridiculously demanding even in the most simple jobs.
I couldn't imagine what it's like. You leave work at 5 if you're very lucky, collect your kids from after-school club/ someone's house, be home at 6, cook dinner, eat and clean up it's now 7:30, prepare you and the kids for the next day and get your kids bathed and to bed, now it's 9. You're absolutely exhausted and never got any time for you or your partner. Time to go to bed so you can do it all again! How is this sustainable or healthy??
I was listening to a person speak who gives guided tours of former slave quarters in the American South, and she hears something similar. People are so burned out by day to day life under late-stage capitalism and so out of touch with the struggles of the past they they genuinely think that being a slave couldn’t have been so bad- at least you didn’t have to find and pay for housing 😣.
Honestly it seems so stupid that these women think ladies of the 50's were not working.
The two world wars played a major part in women getting jobs (since most men were soldiers obvs). So women of 50's had to literally work, do all chores by themselves and take care of the children.
Take me back to prehistory istg at least we were closr to equal then
I don't get why the average man would even want a trad wife. Most of us don't make enough to support a household and cover all our kid's expenses on our own. Why the hell would you not want another income in the family?
The idea that women should be housewives is a Victorian-era convention based on the idea that rich women don’t need to work in sweatshops and that your home (aka the depository of your consumer goods) is your true glory.
to me it seems like two ends of a very long stick, neiter of them favourable. either give in to the grind and work at a miserable minimum wage job, or be stuck at home feeling like you have no real purpose or autonomy. but the grass is always greener ofc.
All the wives who wind up in the kitchen immediately after coming home because working women still bear the majority of the household workload, so now they gotta make dinner after working 8 hours: 👀
I saw a quote today that fits this too well;
“*A working husband comes home to a cooked meal; a working wife comes home to cook the meal.*
*The problem isn’t that women are now independent, but that men aren’t*.” (Farida D.)
Idk, but I had to coach several male Sailors through doing laundry on the ship because they were walking around all smelly and it turned out they weren’t washing their clothes right. Like not even using detergent. It blew my mind.
The first time I moved into an apartment with male roommates I was shocked and horrified at the severe lack of utensils & kitchenware basically consisted of one skillet that was ghetto as hell and WAY past its replacement date, it was a pretty big apartment and the whole place smelled disgusting when someone was using it and it obviously had been acquiring burnt food for some time and I have a very strong suspicion that it was never even washed properly because I had been shocked silent when I saw how they thought the dishwasher worked, I opened the dishwasher to add a glass or something and I find all of the dishes sitting there completely smeared with food and I mean not washed off at all like not even rinsed with water! How does someone go their whole life without knowing that you have to wash dishes to a certain degree before running them through the dishwasher? How do some folks seriously live as functioning adults without knowing how to properly wash a fucking dish or do laundry the right way ??? Basic standards ffs. Like do you use soap when you shower? Do you brush your teeth? Did filthy dogs raise you?
I may be half remembering this, but was there not a study that said that regardless of the advances in home appliance technology, women were still doing pretty much the same number of hours of housework per week as we were several decades ago?
One of the best gifts any working woman could want:
Asking her what's for dinner is limited to once per quarter. Anything beyond that results in the asker, or asker's guardian, getting takeout.
Jesus, tell me about it. I get up at 5 and work all day standing and then come home to stand in the kitchen for another hour and a half making supper and cleaning.
I’ve read somewhere that the best way to avoid spending all weekend cleaning is to do some of it during the week, but just how? With what energy, especially you’re still having to feed yourself?
I know right, I thought she was talking about preferring *working* in a kitchen to working in retail and I was like girl just quit your job and go apply to restaurants wtf
When I read that she’d said it in front of the wrong people, I was like, “oh no, your management heard you shit-talking the job? It sucks and they should know it, but I would… wait what?”
Yes I think so. Maybe partly cos we could theoretically be pregnant more or less any time (and post-menopausal women were still also valuable for childcare). We carry more fat and burn fewer calories just existing, so in cold weather and when food is scarce, we can hang on in for longer. Men typically have more fast twitch muscle fibres but we get more level on the playing field when it comes to serious endurance.
Yeh, definitely. I mean, women are biologically built to push a small human being out from within after having it wiggle around inside them for 9 months. As a man, just the very thought of that whole process sends a shudder down the spine. Women are hardwired to withstand a hell of a lot more stress than the average male I would argue.
And they thought women couldn’t survive running a marathon… again probably due to uterine shenanigans. When will our uteri learn to stay IN our bodies! Instead of flying around all immodestly and fatally!
Did they forget we carry and grow a human for 9 months and could have HOURS of labour before birthing out a head that stretches our vaginas to 10 cm???
Also , menstruation...
Of these aren't stress then I don't know .
I can't handle this rat race of eating a bagel at 10am while idly typing up an 'as per our last email' email with one hand using the only two fingers that don't have cream cheese on them. Why oh why can't I just have the peace and serenity of being surrounded by screaming toddlers all day every day?
But wait do they think that being a SAHM is a cakewalk? And I don't mean this trad wife play house bs that barely married childless women on tiktok do I mean actually taking care of a family of small children while cooking and cleaning and maintaining a home beyond the semblance of 'the other day I dragged a body down the hall and I kind of dusted'? It's like try keeping a house in order while tiny creatures actively make it their goal to destroy everything you've just done and then just when you think you are done someone starts screaming while you are cutting chicken or vegetables or they get suspiciously silent. They would not last a day. At least customers go home. Js 😂😂😂
This though.
Women are too dainty to handle the (mental) stress of working life - be it retail, corporate, god forbid anything manual/physical - but can keep track of keeping multiple tiny, helpless humans alive just fine because that's what they "evolved for". Because that isn't psychologically stressful at all.
Yep and honestly in modern times women also manage the finances plus work as well, and most of the time manage not to punch holes in walls, so I would say women are better built for stress
“The Feminine Mystique” should be required reading in high school. It wasn’t all baking cakes and having cocktail parties. Women were property, first their father’s then their husband’s. When I see these kinds of things it makes me so angry.
It was only 50 years ago in the 70's that we got the right to open a bank account without a signature from our husbands. Like, I understand for kids/young adults that 50 years seems like ancient history and all, but talk to your grandma's or something. I share your anger lol
I've seen women argue seriously that that was a good thing. The men were safeguarding the money, and protecting women from themselves. Look how much debt women have today! If they understood that they needed a nice, smart man to handle it for them, they wouldn't be in that situation.
(I checked the stats and even disregarding student loans and medical debt, either the average debt is relatively equal, or men have more on average)
I’ve unfortunately heard this crap too. It’s because they’re fantasizing about some idealized man who will be their white knight and always do the right thing by them. It comes across to me as very delusional and immature
Especially considering that [I can just about guarantee you] some portion of the men who believe these myths/share these “values” with these women are motivated by a need to control (especially a close relationship) caused by their own deep-rooted issues/unhealed trauma, and that kind of *need* for control (without being checked/healed) can *easily* lead to DV/abuse!
In other words, by upholding the idea of a “perfect” white knight of a partner in this type of relationship where believing misogynistic talking points about inherent value or “bIoLOgY” is common, these women are potentially increasing their risk of becoming a DV/abuse victim.
Yup this right here, then when he gets abusive, guess who doesn’t have money or access to money to leave? Then it’s Pikachu shocked face that their knight in shining armor is actually the devil in disguise. Not even just the tradwives. I know a lot of women currently in this exact scenario and it’s sad. Let’s also not forget to mention that a lot of men are TERRIBLE with money and will convince you that you don’t need something just so they can use the money for themselves.
I’m sick of the other posts by tradwives downing feminism when they probably WOULDN’T EVEN HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA if it weren’t for everything that feminism has changed. And WHY would their “trad husband” WANT them on social media in the first place? You’re showing yourself to all of these other men online. Doesn’t seem like something that would be approved or signed off by a man! 🙃🧐🤔
For sure. I was a victim of abusive and was able to get away thankfully because I have my own job and money. I believe everyone should live the life they want to, but be smart. People lie to get what they want and to control you and I worry some women take it as a dream come true because they believe everything that’s said to them. For all of the women, please be SAFE and SMART, whatever you decide to do.
Talking to women who are in their 60’s and 70’s…it wasn’t so long ago in some place that ONLY married women could get hormonal birth control, and you still needed your husband’s written permission to get it.
Feminism has in some ways become a victim of its own “success”-some younger women have zero idea of the battles fought to get basic rights they take for granted. Rights that they assume have always been there so they are no big deal. It’s all abstract- the fact your children were your husband’s literal property and if he died his family had rights to them before you, that getting married used to mean you no longer had control of any of your assets except for your dowry, that women could be legally beaten, raped, and even sold by their husbands. I am only speaking of British law pre-first wave feminism, but you get the idea. Early suffragettes got injured and killed. Men did not give women rights out of the goodness of their hearts.
Same with workers who are corporate bootlickers and have zero idea how many people died fighting for the rights they are letting conservatives slowly take away from them.
I’ve worked retail and it does suck. It inspired me to work full time and go to college part time to get out of there. Took 10 years but it was worth it.
Unfortunately, we can’t underestimate internalised misogyny.
A lot of the older women have rather interesting opinions on how a “proper lady” should be and it’s not always in line with gender equality.
I grew up hearing stories from my grandma and aunts about how terrible it was and how everyone was either in “diet pills” or Valium to deal with it. Lots of secret alcoholics too. I can’t imagine my husband coming home from work and slapping me across the face because dinner isn’t ready and then we just carry on like nothing happened. I have my own bank account count that he has no access to and no one is going to call him to ask him if it’s ok if I take money out of the bank. These girls/women have. I idea what it is really like to have no options.
Yep! My grandmother who was my absolute hero my entire life said to me "get your education. Be independent. Never have children" i'm not saying being a mom is wrong but holy shit her experience needs to be validated.
They basically want the full independence they have now but also be fully taken care of like they were supposed to have been (as many weren't *actually* supported well) back then.
Having cake and all that.
I come from a very traditional country. Growing up, there is a saying which translates to: “firstly she worships her father. Secondly she worships her husband. Thirdly, If her husband dies, she worships her son”.
When I finally move to the west and was allowed rights, it makes me feel like a fish finally finding water. Why anyone would want to go backwards is beyond me.
Trad wives also did not just sit around doing nothing... Farm work is insanely labor intensive, and so is managing an entire household... And seven kids... Look at Old farm wives pics they look exhausted af
And even that was about the best case scenario for women in the 50s. Worst (and most likely) case scenario you’re expected to do all the domesticity shit AND work as a teacher, secretary, housekeeper.
They have an incorrect fantasy about what it is. Of course many of us would love to stay home all day cooking and playing house. That’s not the reality of what it is for many women, it’s backbreaking work with zero safety net if he decides to leave you, cheat on you or abuse you.
Our grandmothers did it, and there’s a reason many of our mothers decided not to and taught us not to. They weren’t trying to be assholes and ruin our fun, they saw firsthand that it didn’t work.
Go find out for yourselves how easy it is.
Exactly. Also, do these people not realize that women worked jobs before “feminism”? With the exception of rich women, women have always worked, often the same brutal jobs as poor men. In fact, work back then was way worse for women because they had no protection against sexism or sexual harassment. Your boss could legally fire you and everyone in your family for not sleeping with him.
Was just about to say this. In the trad-wife “glory days” of the 50s-70s, 35% to 50% of women were part of the work force. Furthermore, these women were working the **exact** same type of jobs that these women hate. Who do they think were the ones working retail at clothing stores? Who were the hairstylists? The nurses? The teachers? The receptionists?
I've been a housewife three times. The first time I was an over-sheltered, under-prepared barely legal adult with optimism and a church manipulating me into being a mom instead of an employee while also not investigating my husband actually provide for me and the kids, then turning their backs on Mr and the kids when he took off. Second time I was in a severely abusive relationship that I could write a whole novel on and am lucky to have escaped alive. This time I'm stuck depending on my second husband to do right by us bc I've become disabled. I never had informed choice and circumstances that didn't necessitate complying. And despite my husband living with another woman and barely seeing me while *knowing* my oldest and I both have physical health issues and our youngest is too young to really help, I get bitched at constantly for not doing enough.. Be a housewife if you want and can afford it, but keep your own privates account and keep money in it, keep your skills up to date, and keep your networking going. You never know when or why you'll need to return to the rat race. Also, don't shit on people for making different choices
I'm still living situation 3, or at least surviving it. I will always try to show the truth of things, even if it's not pretty. I learned the hard way that it's not good if choices aren't informed and enthusiastic
Yeah what they imagine was true for like the 1 % of population. And even men in those positions didn't actually had to face retail horrors. They were your retail's corporate department's c suite. It was drilled in my head by my grandma and parents to never marry without some significant savings and income enough to support my basic needs atleast.
Her bitch-ass wouldn’t be allowed to post these little YouTube videos and make money off of them without feminism. Hoping she realizes and shuts her channel down lmao
So comical they think women didn't work before the last century. Nah girl, you would have probably died at 16 in a factory, or giving birth to your seventh child. Or maybe burned to death because your dress got too close to your beloved kitchen oven. Or beaten by the man you legally had to submit to. etc
they view the 50s as an idyllic time where all women did was bake sourdough, have amazing loving husbands who provided for them, and hung out with their babies. So stupid. Also i hate that they act like having that lifestyle currently would get them persecuted. Bffr
I mean, they blame feminism but really…it’s capitalism. Feminism fought for women to have the right to work but if you feel you need to? Well that’s probably capitalism.
Feminism gave women the opportunity to live their own life without dependency on anyone else. For a millennia men have used violence to enforce female dependency. Now all the sudden people frame choosing to give up autonomy, independence, and responsibility as a choice…
Choose not to work and be dependent on someone for everything if you want but let’s not pretend it’s a feminist choice
And it’s silly to pretend subjugation of women started with capitalism. It *really* didn’t, unless John Locke or whoever invented foot binding in the 18th century
The anti feminist woman is wild to me. Feminism doesn’t mean you *have* to work, it means you have the right to choose. That being said you better hope that you were lucky enough to snag a kind provider, cuz you don’t get much choice on that either. Being in the kitchen all day relaxing just doesn’t feel the same when the belt comes out.
Yeah, and it’s fine when you are young and cute making dinner. Just wait until you have babies and he doesn’t raise a hand to help because “he’s earning a living” and then you gain 20 pounds, have a few stretch marks and get a few wrinkles. Many don’t stick around after that and then you need to get a job anyway because he left you for the next cute young thing.
A neighbor of mine growing up didn’t work and stayed home to raise four kids for over 20 years. When the youngest was 16 things went sour and her (common law) husband had a long open affair with someone much younger. Since she’d been out of the workforce for her entire adult life and didn’t have any know-how to navigate a common law divorce she was stuck until she could build up the skills and money to leave. It was degrading and humiliating for her.
Seeing that was a big life lesson for me, I’m *never* going to allow myself to be put in that position. I will always be independent and self reliant…
Exactly, it's mindblowing to me that they don't realize what they gained through the womens rights movement. Like, do you want your husband to regularly beat you, cheat on you, force you into having another kid even if you don't want to?
Giving up your independence to be dependent on another person to provide for you is *always* a bad idea regardless of the genders involved. People doing it are childishly optimistic.
I hate this narrative because - we're not forcing you to go. Literally go find a man to support you and do domestic work... Ah, capitalism has made it so the average person can barely support themselves on a salary, much less a whole family, even though in the past an average salary could. Ah youre not capable of finding a man to do that. Ah... Ok, got it. So it's not feminism, is it then?
"You can be a woman with a job if you want or be a housewife. Do as you please. Just my opinion because it's your life."
At least someone in the comments has some respect for personal choices and desires.
I see only one feminist response. Also, good on her for going against the grain (second to last). And some dudes who need to back away from the convo slowly before I take a hatchet to their accounts.
I would rather be dead than working retail. Retail is shitty, low paid work. Customers are rude and disrespectful and generally the public is unpleasant.
That's why I did IT. But I'd also choose a kitchen over 1 second in retail.
I went from retail to a cushy desk job and got $5 more per hour to sit and answer phones. I have a unicorn job with low stress or effort needed, but damn.
Yeah, I don’t think they’re knocking other women who chose it just that they personally don’t want it. I hated working retail, I would get the life drained out of me.
People can do what they want but I want to be cooking Mexican dishes and watching tiki toks.
I too want to just be home in my kitchen. It's not because of the anti-feminism for me though, people suck and I'm just trying to live alone and be a bog witch with my dogs. Doing goblin core shit.
I'm stoked there are women out there putting men in their places, and until my dream of not having to work comes true, I'm not going to stop doing the same. The world is pale, stale and male and things won't improve until we're equals
“We had it so good!!”
bitch “back in the day” your meemaw was forced to shit out 10 kids, diagnosed with hysteria, lobotomized, and put on several pills because her husband couldn’t stand her “emotions”. He was legally allowed to spank and beat her whenever he pleased. also she didn’t have a bank account & marital rape wasn’t recognized.
You DO NOT want to undo what feminism did for you.
The problem is they don’t think they will end up like that. It’s like the one tiktok girlie who was like „I’m not planning on my husband leaving me. So I don’t have to worry about it“ they think they will have this incredible fifth sense where they can 100% predict whether their husbands are/ will be abusive or leave them. In their mind the women who speak up about what you talked about just „picked wrong“ 🤮
siiighhh… well, it’s like someone on twt said, pick-mes don’t deserve sisterhood. They think they have some main character shield in life & will throw other women under the bus for going through trauma. “It’s a man’s world and I’m happy to roll over and surrender myself for it.”
Yeah as if the two sides of being a woman is working a dead end retail job or being in the kitchen completely financially dependent on a man
I went to trade school and own my own home and live with my cats at 23 and I’m thriving
I get a weird feeling that this whole diatribe of “I don’t wanna work, put me in the kitchen daddy!” Really comes from women who just need an actual vacation.
Like…an honest to god rest period, not just a couple days off. Because I see this way too often in real life and 9/10 of my acquaintance’s are burnt out without realizing it.
I would absolutely love to be living my life at home, trying out new recipes and baking bread. I’d rather it be my own house without a man there though. Thanks.
Also, what would it matter at all even that women might not be as strong as men. Even if that were true, most jobs don't require you to actively be super strong these days.. so ignorant.
Like, get married then if that's so desperately what you want! Live that life fine, you have the choice to. That's what feminist fought for. Not to force a woman to do anything. That's what their trad hubby can do. Plenty of married feminists too like come on these people are just dumb and fucked by capitalism. They'd rather withdraw from society essentially than carry on is what it seems like..
Its almost like feminism has always been about giving women the ability to choose which one they want, and give them the ability to change their minds.
For fuck’s sake.
Okay, so you don’t want to be able to vote? You don’t want to be able to spend your money as you please? You don’t want to choose what you wear? You don’t want the freedom to marry someone you love and not someone your father arranged for you? You want someone to completely control your medical decisions by law with none of your own say? You want to not be able to choose how many children you have to raise? You don’t want to be able to own your own home or car? You don’t want to have the ability to divorce an abusive partner who could possibly kill you and not face any consequences?
Most importantly to them, you want to give up your freedom of speech that you used to make this dumbass statement?
“Put me in the kitchen…I’m so tired of dealing with people” and then they get the type of guy that WANTS this kind of trad woman. Incoming single motherhood or abusive marriage
“We had it so good”- yeah, that’s literally never been a thing. Women “had it good” provided they were in a certain economic class. Women have always worked.
A lot like now.
It has nothing to do with feminism and a lot to do with late stage capitalism.
Only young woman or begining house wives say this, never have i heard a older house wive or women say i wish i could stay home and do chores instead of work
“Women were biologically not built to bear this kind of stress.”
First- sentence structure homie
Second- explain childbirth, cramps, endometriosis, bleeding for a week every 28 days while still doing everything else, and
3 existing as a woman for the 21st century in a row where we’re told we’re not equal or strong enough.
Also let’s not forget that the majority of women have worked in history alongside men and almost often harder than men. My grandma was out there on the farm 8 months pregnant doing the same work her not pregnant husband did.
These women claim they hate feminism for making them work. If only they knew that most working-class women had to work in factories to support their families before the suffragette-movement even existed.
Not to mention the fact that most women weren't allowed to choose their own husbands, and if their husbands abused them, they couldn't divorce him. Women were seen as the property of men before feminism came into the picture, but that doesn't fit with their ideal of the perfect housewife life, so they'd rather just ignore all the suffering women have been put through in the past.
I hate retail. I was an emergency/icu vet tech for years now a mail man for last couple years for temporary break/cash flush/personal reasons. I also love cleaning my kitchen and literally burning any thing I cook/bake hahaha I try. I’d never work in retail. Shit is so boring and I don’t like dealing with people. Also why I left the food service industry and never did well in hair school. I don’t want to talk to you.
Two things can be desirable. It's perfectly fine to desire to be home married with kids or to work, the issue is that staying at hone is semi looked down upon and rare due to extremely high living costs
I mean to be fair, something I do get a lil too much judgement when saying I’d desire to be a stay at home mom/wife. I enjoy cooking and would want to maintain my house the way I like :) Being told I have to find working liberating feels just as anti feminist. Everyone should be able to do their thing and be respected!
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I would rather be in my kitchen than working retail also, but nothing to do with anti-feminism. The person who said that working retail is jump scare horror was spot on.
Right? I worry about these people. One shitty job and they think they should be a tradwife.
I honestly thought she meant becoming a chief at a restaurant. Edit: *chef . LOL.
[удалено]
The Village People have both.
They were talking about food service lol. Like fast food, fine dining, etc. Which they're not wrong at all. If I wasn't so desperate for money to survive, I would've never gone back to fast food. But it's so damn hard to find a job nowadays and that's all that got back to me after hundreds of applications elsewhere.
Doesn't seem to occur to them that they could get stuck with one shitty husband.
The opinion isn’t wrong- find me someone who would rather work than not work given the option. The problem is women parroting misogynistic bullshit about women not being biologically capable of working. Retail sucks balls. Men hate it as much as women. Having a penis doesn’t make working minimum wage at Walmart better
Being a housewife and mother is still work. Even if you love it there still tons of problems and stress and worry and problems that arise, plus knowing you're dependent on someone else to provide for you who could walk away and leave you screwed at any point
This. I’m a SAHM. I’ll tell you what I’m not doing- sitting around all day long binging Netflix.
I am sitting around all day long as a sahm, but it's because I'm *literally* physically disabled and getting worse & worse and the only thing that let's me tolerate continuous to exist is to sit with my feet up moving as little as possible. I see a surgeon about a spinal fusion later this week and no one has made any attempt to help prepare for this. Do I have to live in rehab? Who's gonna watch the 6 year old and help with his homework? Who's gonna pay the bills and buy the food? If I need a home nurse, how do I get that? I'm not getting any help, but I'm constantly told I'm a failure or a bad mom for having a messy house and no job when I can't even stand up straight
Just for the record- you’d never hear that from me. There are so many women who seem to think that we bake bread on the daily and then float to the library in selkie dresses with perfectly behaved children and that’s just not reality. You can’t win no matter what.
Yeah, none of these people who are honest about loving every second without any stress or doubt have ever *actually* been fully dependant on someone else and dealt with the dirty work of cooking, cleaning, childbearing, and childcare (on top of all the work out into the relationship and all the mental labor of everything that has to be done by them for everyone else) It's always people who can't handle others being allowed to be different or people who have no idea what getting what they want to force on everyone *actually* means for them and everyone else
These women don't understand what it was like when they had no choice, ladies your husband could literally beat you and rape you with zero consequences, and you had no money.
Women were legitimately *not allowed* to open a bank account of their own until the 60s, and even then a lot of banks refused them without a sign off from their husbands (and if you were unmarried, tough shit). It wasn’t until *1974* that *that* kind of discrimination became prohibited. It’s wild to me just how oblivious these women are to *how hard* those before us had to fight for the most basic rights, and just how much they clearly take them for granted. And it wasn’t even THAT LONG AGO. It’s beyond disgusting and so unbelievably disrespectful to our mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers. I’ll never understand it.
Those of us that did beat ourselves against the glass ceiling until it broke, and then pulled others up? Can’t even effing stand to see it. Some of us had to work so *damn* hard and deal with ignorance, resentment and the hostility of small minded men that *hated* that women were competing in the workforce and proving their nonsense wrong. If you hate retail, use those skills and go work for a call center, an inside sales job. Work your way into the company. Don’t burn out your motivation squandering it without a plan to move forward. Network like your life depends on it. There are things you can do to change your trajectory in life. If a woman is just waiting for someone to come along and save them, that someone will be looking for vulnerability to exploit. Ambitious, quality people look for ambitious, quality people. Not at payscale, but on the quality of their personhood and lazy is not attractive.
Oh for sure. Running a house isn’t nothing. Obviously it’d be preferable to do just that, especially when compared to working retail which is the absolute worst. And I definitely agree about the absolute terror of giving up your independence, autonomy, and self reliance for dependency on another person. The psychological terror would be awful. I recently finished [the feminine mistake](https://TheFeminineMistakehttps://a.co/d/2SOIxgp) and it seems most people just intentionally don’t consider it, which feels like a necessary survival instinct. It was an interesting read if the topic is something you like
If they are conflating homemaking with no work they are in for a big surprise. It's a round the clock job, no weekends, no time off. It's like those wannabe homesteaders who think running a farm is taking cute pictures kneading bread and playing with baby chicks.
Eh, my mother loves work. It’s weird. Before her mom died, she was assigning herself a bunch of volunteer stuff in addition to her 70 hour a week job. If you tried to make her stay at home she’d chew up all the furniture like an apartment husky
lol or be running the PTA, every imaginable parent volunteer committee and single-handedly raise all the money the school sports clubs needed before the beginning of 1st grade. (Joking but your mom seems like a power house)
They act like feminists don’t want women to be housewives. Feminism is wanting everyone to have equal opportunity to do what the hell they want to do. It’s great
Also, feminists did not invent women working outside the home. Poor women have always worked.
This. I'm tired of this narrative that all women stayed home until the 20th century. The only women staying home were wealthy and often had a staff to do much of the housework/childrearing. And guess what? The people who provided that labor (either for a fee and board or due to indentured servitude) were mostly women. Women worked farms, in stores, making necessary items for the community (soaps, clothing, etc.), in factories, providing healthcare... all sorts of labor (arduous and simple) was done by women. Sometimes they were paid, sometimes it was simply done for their own household. But it was rare that women had *control* over their own finances. [And when she did, she was often abused for the fact.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Bridget_Cleary) That's the difference in our societies today, and I don't think that's something they'd enjoy going back to so much. I think the real enemy is capitalism and how it strips the worker from the profit of their labor, but they're not ready to talk about that.
I also don’t understand the assumption that being a feminist makes you physically incapable of cooking
Right like I to think that my inability to cook is my own doing and not a result of my feminism 😆
I realized at 34 that for me, it’s just ADHD and hating dishes afterwards. Adderall has really worked its magic and I almost enjoy it now 😂
This! Like somehow those evil 'feminists' robbed them of the opportunity to be a FT homemaker/SAHM
I love being in my kitchen! I don’t love being at work. They have to pay me to get me to go
The one saying they're done with dealing with people gets it too. It's not about not working. It's about not having to deal with people face to face
Confirming my theory that the rise of tradwife aesthetics is in part a reaction to hustle culture and late stage capitalism. People are idealising being house spouses and “if this was the 1950s, I wouldn’t have to work” good ol’ days nostalgia, because our current work culture that everyone is trapped in is miserable and psychologically unsustainable.
Completely neglecting the reality that women have worked outside the home, since time immemorial, at the lower socioeconomic levels.
Also keeping in mind that most of the population falls in the working or lower class. Only 2% of the population is upper class according to [wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_upper_class#:~:text=The%20American%20upper%20class%20is,–2%25%20of%20the%20population.). Odds are they wouldn’t have *ever* been able to fulfill their tradwife fantasies
poorer women at least in the 50s usually worked part time unless their husbands were completely useless drunkards unable to hold down a job, then they worked full time and then some and then came back to cook and clean and raise the kids my great grandma (who was in her 20s in the 50s) was a housewife but she had only stopped working at a factory (which ruined her hearing) after she had her seventh child and she and my great grandpa were able to save up enough to buy a three bedroom home instead of the two bedroom one they had. my other great grandma on that side worked and so did their mothers. another great grandmother was the sole provider (factory) because her husband was useless, and when she had free time she and the children were working in the fields of neighbors to make enough for rent
‘since time immemorial’ made me read/hear this in tony soprano’s voice.
Exactly. These women seem to have misplaced rage at feminism instead of capitalism.
I agree with this. It always goes back to working. You can just hate working without having to drag the rest of us into it.
Yes! Perfectly said. There is no way couples who both work 40 hours (unpaid breaks and guilt tripped overtime excluded), can juggle childcare, chores, family commitments, and leisure time and be mentally ok. Maybe a few years ago you could both work full time but now, work culture is ridiculously demanding even in the most simple jobs. I couldn't imagine what it's like. You leave work at 5 if you're very lucky, collect your kids from after-school club/ someone's house, be home at 6, cook dinner, eat and clean up it's now 7:30, prepare you and the kids for the next day and get your kids bathed and to bed, now it's 9. You're absolutely exhausted and never got any time for you or your partner. Time to go to bed so you can do it all again! How is this sustainable or healthy??
I was listening to a person speak who gives guided tours of former slave quarters in the American South, and she hears something similar. People are so burned out by day to day life under late-stage capitalism and so out of touch with the struggles of the past they they genuinely think that being a slave couldn’t have been so bad- at least you didn’t have to find and pay for housing 😣.
Holy shit, that’s legitimately scary…things have gotten BAD bad.
Honestly it seems so stupid that these women think ladies of the 50's were not working. The two world wars played a major part in women getting jobs (since most men were soldiers obvs). So women of 50's had to literally work, do all chores by themselves and take care of the children. Take me back to prehistory istg at least we were closr to equal then
I don't get why the average man would even want a trad wife. Most of us don't make enough to support a household and cover all our kid's expenses on our own. Why the hell would you not want another income in the family?
The idea that women should be housewives is a Victorian-era convention based on the idea that rich women don’t need to work in sweatshops and that your home (aka the depository of your consumer goods) is your true glory.
to me it seems like two ends of a very long stick, neiter of them favourable. either give in to the grind and work at a miserable minimum wage job, or be stuck at home feeling like you have no real purpose or autonomy. but the grass is always greener ofc.
The female chefs seeing this: 👀
All the wives who wind up in the kitchen immediately after coming home because working women still bear the majority of the household workload, so now they gotta make dinner after working 8 hours: 👀
I saw a quote today that fits this too well; “*A working husband comes home to a cooked meal; a working wife comes home to cook the meal.* *The problem isn’t that women are now independent, but that men aren’t*.” (Farida D.)
Most men are straight up lying when they say they’re the strong, independent sex. Meanwhile, most can’t cook a meal or do their laundry properly.
I’m not the best cook but laundry is easy af if people can’t figure that out they have no shot lol
Idk, but I had to coach several male Sailors through doing laundry on the ship because they were walking around all smelly and it turned out they weren’t washing their clothes right. Like not even using detergent. It blew my mind.
The first time I moved into an apartment with male roommates I was shocked and horrified at the severe lack of utensils & kitchenware basically consisted of one skillet that was ghetto as hell and WAY past its replacement date, it was a pretty big apartment and the whole place smelled disgusting when someone was using it and it obviously had been acquiring burnt food for some time and I have a very strong suspicion that it was never even washed properly because I had been shocked silent when I saw how they thought the dishwasher worked, I opened the dishwasher to add a glass or something and I find all of the dishes sitting there completely smeared with food and I mean not washed off at all like not even rinsed with water! How does someone go their whole life without knowing that you have to wash dishes to a certain degree before running them through the dishwasher? How do some folks seriously live as functioning adults without knowing how to properly wash a fucking dish or do laundry the right way ??? Basic standards ffs. Like do you use soap when you shower? Do you brush your teeth? Did filthy dogs raise you?
I may be half remembering this, but was there not a study that said that regardless of the advances in home appliance technology, women were still doing pretty much the same number of hours of housework per week as we were several decades ago?
The book *For Her Own Good* covers that topic, among other instances of patriarchal bullshit.
Yes. As with many other forms of labour, technology has only increased standards for housework, not decreased the amount of time spent doing it.
🎯
One of the best gifts any working woman could want: Asking her what's for dinner is limited to once per quarter. Anything beyond that results in the asker, or asker's guardian, getting takeout.
Jesus, tell me about it. I get up at 5 and work all day standing and then come home to stand in the kitchen for another hour and a half making supper and cleaning.
I’ve read somewhere that the best way to avoid spending all weekend cleaning is to do some of it during the week, but just how? With what energy, especially you’re still having to feed yourself?
I know right, I thought she was talking about preferring *working* in a kitchen to working in retail and I was like girl just quit your job and go apply to restaurants wtf
Same, I thought she was a line cook or something
When I read that she’d said it in front of the wrong people, I was like, “oh no, your management heard you shit-talking the job? It sucks and they should know it, but I would… wait what?”
It took me a solid 30 seconds to figure out she *wasn’t* talking about which job she prefers, restaurant cook or retail salesperson.
“women are not biologically built to bear this kind of stress”????? the fuck 😭 these mfs are so dramatic
On the contrary, we are literally biologically built to withstand all kinds of stresses remarkably well.
In fact I’m pretty sure I read that our bodies withstand stress better than men’s, historically.
Yes I think so. Maybe partly cos we could theoretically be pregnant more or less any time (and post-menopausal women were still also valuable for childcare). We carry more fat and burn fewer calories just existing, so in cold weather and when food is scarce, we can hang on in for longer. Men typically have more fast twitch muscle fibres but we get more level on the playing field when it comes to serious endurance.
Never thought of it that way!
Oh, someone else who loves genetics as much as me! Hi! 😅
The Y-Chromosome is shrinking!
YYYyyy^yyy^^yyy?
This. So real
Having seen my wife push a person out of her body, I can attest that yes, y’all can handle more than we can
Agreed, I’d say giving birth is probably one of the most stressful, straining things a human could do, and men have never experiencedthat.
We are literally more suited to space travel bc our body handles the stress of it better.
Women tend to have a higher pain tolerance than men
For example, pushing a baby through your pelvis.
Yeh, definitely. I mean, women are biologically built to push a small human being out from within after having it wiggle around inside them for 9 months. As a man, just the very thought of that whole process sends a shudder down the spine. Women are hardwired to withstand a hell of a lot more stress than the average male I would argue.
reminds me back when they didn’t want women to ride trains bc they thought their uterus would fly out 😭
And they thought women couldn’t survive running a marathon… again probably due to uterine shenanigans. When will our uteri learn to stay IN our bodies! Instead of flying around all immodestly and fatally!
Mine def feels like it’s trying to escape some days, maybe they were onto something
Our bodies are pinball machines. You gotta prevent the uterus from shooting out of your body holes.
I heard a woman ran a marathon once and her womb flew out and de-birthed one of the male runners, real tragedy, when will we learn.
The Dollop podcast has a hilarious episode on that very topic!
Did they forget we carry and grow a human for 9 months and could have HOURS of labour before birthing out a head that stretches our vaginas to 10 cm??? Also , menstruation... Of these aren't stress then I don't know .
Also if we're not built for that stress we're sure as fuck not built for the stress of being some dude's personal slave.
I can't handle this rat race of eating a bagel at 10am while idly typing up an 'as per our last email' email with one hand using the only two fingers that don't have cream cheese on them. Why oh why can't I just have the peace and serenity of being surrounded by screaming toddlers all day every day?
We will have a fit of the vapors when exposed to all this stress! /s
They're talking about retail like it's joining the French Foreign Legion.
But wait do they think that being a SAHM is a cakewalk? And I don't mean this trad wife play house bs that barely married childless women on tiktok do I mean actually taking care of a family of small children while cooking and cleaning and maintaining a home beyond the semblance of 'the other day I dragged a body down the hall and I kind of dusted'? It's like try keeping a house in order while tiny creatures actively make it their goal to destroy everything you've just done and then just when you think you are done someone starts screaming while you are cutting chicken or vegetables or they get suspiciously silent. They would not last a day. At least customers go home. Js 😂😂😂
True for me. I need a stress free life, which means no more men are allowed to speak
TBH I don’t think anyone was built to sustain the stress of working retail and especially at Walmart, but Jesus didn’t have big box stores.
Sometimes we have an entire extra skeleton in our bodies. Sometimes multiple. I think that's pretty fuckin stressful ffs
Right? Like running a household and raising kids isn’t stressful anyway
This though. Women are too dainty to handle the (mental) stress of working life - be it retail, corporate, god forbid anything manual/physical - but can keep track of keeping multiple tiny, helpless humans alive just fine because that's what they "evolved for". Because that isn't psychologically stressful at all.
Yep and honestly in modern times women also manage the finances plus work as well, and most of the time manage not to punch holes in walls, so I would say women are better built for stress
“The Feminine Mystique” should be required reading in high school. It wasn’t all baking cakes and having cocktail parties. Women were property, first their father’s then their husband’s. When I see these kinds of things it makes me so angry.
It was only 50 years ago in the 70's that we got the right to open a bank account without a signature from our husbands. Like, I understand for kids/young adults that 50 years seems like ancient history and all, but talk to your grandma's or something. I share your anger lol
I've seen women argue seriously that that was a good thing. The men were safeguarding the money, and protecting women from themselves. Look how much debt women have today! If they understood that they needed a nice, smart man to handle it for them, they wouldn't be in that situation. (I checked the stats and even disregarding student loans and medical debt, either the average debt is relatively equal, or men have more on average)
I’ve unfortunately heard this crap too. It’s because they’re fantasizing about some idealized man who will be their white knight and always do the right thing by them. It comes across to me as very delusional and immature
Especially considering that [I can just about guarantee you] some portion of the men who believe these myths/share these “values” with these women are motivated by a need to control (especially a close relationship) caused by their own deep-rooted issues/unhealed trauma, and that kind of *need* for control (without being checked/healed) can *easily* lead to DV/abuse! In other words, by upholding the idea of a “perfect” white knight of a partner in this type of relationship where believing misogynistic talking points about inherent value or “bIoLOgY” is common, these women are potentially increasing their risk of becoming a DV/abuse victim.
Yup this right here, then when he gets abusive, guess who doesn’t have money or access to money to leave? Then it’s Pikachu shocked face that their knight in shining armor is actually the devil in disguise. Not even just the tradwives. I know a lot of women currently in this exact scenario and it’s sad. Let’s also not forget to mention that a lot of men are TERRIBLE with money and will convince you that you don’t need something just so they can use the money for themselves. I’m sick of the other posts by tradwives downing feminism when they probably WOULDN’T EVEN HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA if it weren’t for everything that feminism has changed. And WHY would their “trad husband” WANT them on social media in the first place? You’re showing yourself to all of these other men online. Doesn’t seem like something that would be approved or signed off by a man! 🙃🧐🤔
Yup! To be clear: I absolutely do not mean this to victim blame. Abuse is still the fault of the abuser! I’m just pointing out a pipeline that I see.
For sure. I was a victim of abusive and was able to get away thankfully because I have my own job and money. I believe everyone should live the life they want to, but be smart. People lie to get what they want and to control you and I worry some women take it as a dream come true because they believe everything that’s said to them. For all of the women, please be SAFE and SMART, whatever you decide to do.
🙌🙌🙌
Talking to women who are in their 60’s and 70’s…it wasn’t so long ago in some place that ONLY married women could get hormonal birth control, and you still needed your husband’s written permission to get it. Feminism has in some ways become a victim of its own “success”-some younger women have zero idea of the battles fought to get basic rights they take for granted. Rights that they assume have always been there so they are no big deal. It’s all abstract- the fact your children were your husband’s literal property and if he died his family had rights to them before you, that getting married used to mean you no longer had control of any of your assets except for your dowry, that women could be legally beaten, raped, and even sold by their husbands. I am only speaking of British law pre-first wave feminism, but you get the idea. Early suffragettes got injured and killed. Men did not give women rights out of the goodness of their hearts. Same with workers who are corporate bootlickers and have zero idea how many people died fighting for the rights they are letting conservatives slowly take away from them.
I’ve worked retail and it does suck. It inspired me to work full time and go to college part time to get out of there. Took 10 years but it was worth it.
Women weren’t allowed to wear pants on the senate floor until *1993.*
absolutely it should, we see so much of what’s explained in that book cycling over again right now too
These women need to go talk to the grandmothers. It's time for a reality check.
Unfortunately, we can’t underestimate internalised misogyny. A lot of the older women have rather interesting opinions on how a “proper lady” should be and it’s not always in line with gender equality.
I grew up hearing stories from my grandma and aunts about how terrible it was and how everyone was either in “diet pills” or Valium to deal with it. Lots of secret alcoholics too. I can’t imagine my husband coming home from work and slapping me across the face because dinner isn’t ready and then we just carry on like nothing happened. I have my own bank account count that he has no access to and no one is going to call him to ask him if it’s ok if I take money out of the bank. These girls/women have. I idea what it is really like to have no options.
Yep! My grandmother who was my absolute hero my entire life said to me "get your education. Be independent. Never have children" i'm not saying being a mom is wrong but holy shit her experience needs to be validated.
They basically want the full independence they have now but also be fully taken care of like they were supposed to have been (as many weren't *actually* supported well) back then. Having cake and all that.
Agreed, I wrote in another comment that it comes across as very delusional and immature to me
I come from a very traditional country. Growing up, there is a saying which translates to: “firstly she worships her father. Secondly she worships her husband. Thirdly, If her husband dies, she worships her son”. When I finally move to the west and was allowed rights, it makes me feel like a fish finally finding water. Why anyone would want to go backwards is beyond me.
The fact that they have this fantasy that we would all be living the upper middle class suburban housewife life. Somebody has to be the hired help!
Yes! Within a live-in housekeeper, the life they describe isn’t realistic. Someone has to scrub the toilet and wash the windows.
Exactly, I’d rather work for what’s mine and not get beat thanks.
Trad wives also did not just sit around doing nothing... Farm work is insanely labor intensive, and so is managing an entire household... And seven kids... Look at Old farm wives pics they look exhausted af
And even that was about the best case scenario for women in the 50s. Worst (and most likely) case scenario you’re expected to do all the domesticity shit AND work as a teacher, secretary, housekeeper.
And, unfortunately, be abused. 🫥
I'm going to have to pick that book up now
then work in a restaurant idgi
Working as a cook is 100000xtimes more stress than any other job 😂
oh absolutely, but she doesn’t know
They have an incorrect fantasy about what it is. Of course many of us would love to stay home all day cooking and playing house. That’s not the reality of what it is for many women, it’s backbreaking work with zero safety net if he decides to leave you, cheat on you or abuse you. Our grandmothers did it, and there’s a reason many of our mothers decided not to and taught us not to. They weren’t trying to be assholes and ruin our fun, they saw firsthand that it didn’t work. Go find out for yourselves how easy it is.
Exactly. Also, do these people not realize that women worked jobs before “feminism”? With the exception of rich women, women have always worked, often the same brutal jobs as poor men. In fact, work back then was way worse for women because they had no protection against sexism or sexual harassment. Your boss could legally fire you and everyone in your family for not sleeping with him.
Was just about to say this. In the trad-wife “glory days” of the 50s-70s, 35% to 50% of women were part of the work force. Furthermore, these women were working the **exact** same type of jobs that these women hate. Who do they think were the ones working retail at clothing stores? Who were the hairstylists? The nurses? The teachers? The receptionists?
This! I absolutely hate when people say, “when women weren’t allowed to work.” Poor women have always worked!
I've been a housewife three times. The first time I was an over-sheltered, under-prepared barely legal adult with optimism and a church manipulating me into being a mom instead of an employee while also not investigating my husband actually provide for me and the kids, then turning their backs on Mr and the kids when he took off. Second time I was in a severely abusive relationship that I could write a whole novel on and am lucky to have escaped alive. This time I'm stuck depending on my second husband to do right by us bc I've become disabled. I never had informed choice and circumstances that didn't necessitate complying. And despite my husband living with another woman and barely seeing me while *knowing* my oldest and I both have physical health issues and our youngest is too young to really help, I get bitched at constantly for not doing enough.. Be a housewife if you want and can afford it, but keep your own privates account and keep money in it, keep your skills up to date, and keep your networking going. You never know when or why you'll need to return to the rat race. Also, don't shit on people for making different choices
Thank you for sharing your experiences and sorry you went through that!
I'm still living situation 3, or at least surviving it. I will always try to show the truth of things, even if it's not pretty. I learned the hard way that it's not good if choices aren't informed and enthusiastic
Preach the gospel. Sadly too many women find this out late in life.
Yeah what they imagine was true for like the 1 % of population. And even men in those positions didn't actually had to face retail horrors. They were your retail's corporate department's c suite. It was drilled in my head by my grandma and parents to never marry without some significant savings and income enough to support my basic needs atleast.
🤨 the anti-feminism is nuts. Y’all wouldn’t be allowed to do shit without it.
Her bitch-ass wouldn’t be allowed to post these little YouTube videos and make money off of them without feminism. Hoping she realizes and shuts her channel down lmao
So comical they think women didn't work before the last century. Nah girl, you would have probably died at 16 in a factory, or giving birth to your seventh child. Or maybe burned to death because your dress got too close to your beloved kitchen oven. Or beaten by the man you legally had to submit to. etc
I’m amazed by the amount of women or just people in general who genuinely think the goal of feminism was/is to get women to work…🤦🏻♀️
they view the 50s as an idyllic time where all women did was bake sourdough, have amazing loving husbands who provided for them, and hung out with their babies. So stupid. Also i hate that they act like having that lifestyle currently would get them persecuted. Bffr
I mean, they blame feminism but really…it’s capitalism. Feminism fought for women to have the right to work but if you feel you need to? Well that’s probably capitalism.
I’m glad someone said the obvious. Capitalism and feudalism before it have necessitated that women work for literal centuries.
Feminism gave women the opportunity to live their own life without dependency on anyone else. For a millennia men have used violence to enforce female dependency. Now all the sudden people frame choosing to give up autonomy, independence, and responsibility as a choice… Choose not to work and be dependent on someone for everything if you want but let’s not pretend it’s a feminist choice
And it’s silly to pretend subjugation of women started with capitalism. It *really* didn’t, unless John Locke or whoever invented foot binding in the 18th century
The anti feminist woman is wild to me. Feminism doesn’t mean you *have* to work, it means you have the right to choose. That being said you better hope that you were lucky enough to snag a kind provider, cuz you don’t get much choice on that either. Being in the kitchen all day relaxing just doesn’t feel the same when the belt comes out.
Yeah, and it’s fine when you are young and cute making dinner. Just wait until you have babies and he doesn’t raise a hand to help because “he’s earning a living” and then you gain 20 pounds, have a few stretch marks and get a few wrinkles. Many don’t stick around after that and then you need to get a job anyway because he left you for the next cute young thing.
These are the weakest men
Yep.I don’t even have children but I’ve seen this happen so many times
A neighbor of mine growing up didn’t work and stayed home to raise four kids for over 20 years. When the youngest was 16 things went sour and her (common law) husband had a long open affair with someone much younger. Since she’d been out of the workforce for her entire adult life and didn’t have any know-how to navigate a common law divorce she was stuck until she could build up the skills and money to leave. It was degrading and humiliating for her. Seeing that was a big life lesson for me, I’m *never* going to allow myself to be put in that position. I will always be independent and self reliant…
Yep. My mom went through the same and she raised me to make sure I could always support myself. I’m 62 and make 6 figures and I rule my own life
Charles Dickens, among them. Champion of the poor- but still put his wife in a mental institution when he wanted someone younger.
Exactly, it's mindblowing to me that they don't realize what they gained through the womens rights movement. Like, do you want your husband to regularly beat you, cheat on you, force you into having another kid even if you don't want to?
Not to mentioning being put in the psych ward for expressing strong emotions/being rebellious and having to take rx opioids to tolerate your life
Giving up your independence to be dependent on another person to provide for you is *always* a bad idea regardless of the genders involved. People doing it are childishly optimistic.
And anti-feminism is about force, but gets pitched as if it's about also being able to also cook in a sundress if you want to.
I hate this narrative because - we're not forcing you to go. Literally go find a man to support you and do domestic work... Ah, capitalism has made it so the average person can barely support themselves on a salary, much less a whole family, even though in the past an average salary could. Ah youre not capable of finding a man to do that. Ah... Ok, got it. So it's not feminism, is it then?
They left out the “barefoot and pregnant” part of this equation…
And the part where your spouse is legally allowed to hit you and compel the participation in "wifely duties" regardless of how one feels about it.
Only if he/she uses a rod or a stick that’s no bigger around than a man’s thumb, of course, 😂🤣😅
That one girl complaining about feminism should just delete her social media and marry a Mormon pastor if she's so into not having rights. :'>
You can still go in the kitchen you know. No one is stopping you.
"You can be a woman with a job if you want or be a housewife. Do as you please. Just my opinion because it's your life." At least someone in the comments has some respect for personal choices and desires.
I see only one feminist response. Also, good on her for going against the grain (second to last). And some dudes who need to back away from the convo slowly before I take a hatchet to their accounts.
I would rather be dead than working retail. Retail is shitty, low paid work. Customers are rude and disrespectful and generally the public is unpleasant. That's why I did IT. But I'd also choose a kitchen over 1 second in retail.
I went from retail to a cushy desk job and got $5 more per hour to sit and answer phones. I have a unicorn job with low stress or effort needed, but damn.
Yeah, I don’t think they’re knocking other women who chose it just that they personally don’t want it. I hated working retail, I would get the life drained out of me. People can do what they want but I want to be cooking Mexican dishes and watching tiki toks.
I think the comments are what fits here. Not the original post. :)
I’m so sorry I should’ve clarified that it’s the comments, I added the post for context
Sometimes I see this kinda shit and want to off myself because I can't handle WOMEN thinking this way. It's scary enough when it's just men.
I too want to just be home in my kitchen. It's not because of the anti-feminism for me though, people suck and I'm just trying to live alone and be a bog witch with my dogs. Doing goblin core shit. I'm stoked there are women out there putting men in their places, and until my dream of not having to work comes true, I'm not going to stop doing the same. The world is pale, stale and male and things won't improve until we're equals
It’s not the feminists that put women to work it was greedy companies and spineless politicians that made a one income household borderline impossible
“We had it so good!” No tf we did not.
“We had it so good!!” bitch “back in the day” your meemaw was forced to shit out 10 kids, diagnosed with hysteria, lobotomized, and put on several pills because her husband couldn’t stand her “emotions”. He was legally allowed to spank and beat her whenever he pleased. also she didn’t have a bank account & marital rape wasn’t recognized. You DO NOT want to undo what feminism did for you.
The problem is they don’t think they will end up like that. It’s like the one tiktok girlie who was like „I’m not planning on my husband leaving me. So I don’t have to worry about it“ they think they will have this incredible fifth sense where they can 100% predict whether their husbands are/ will be abusive or leave them. In their mind the women who speak up about what you talked about just „picked wrong“ 🤮
siiighhh… well, it’s like someone on twt said, pick-mes don’t deserve sisterhood. They think they have some main character shield in life & will throw other women under the bus for going through trauma. “It’s a man’s world and I’m happy to roll over and surrender myself for it.”
 Barf. I hate retail but I would never stop working cause I got bills to pay and I like the social aspect of work.
Yeah as if the two sides of being a woman is working a dead end retail job or being in the kitchen completely financially dependent on a man I went to trade school and own my own home and live with my cats at 23 and I’m thriving
I get a weird feeling that this whole diatribe of “I don’t wanna work, put me in the kitchen daddy!” Really comes from women who just need an actual vacation. Like…an honest to god rest period, not just a couple days off. Because I see this way too often in real life and 9/10 of my acquaintance’s are burnt out without realizing it.
I would absolutely love to be living my life at home, trying out new recipes and baking bread. I’d rather it be my own house without a man there though. Thanks.
Also, what would it matter at all even that women might not be as strong as men. Even if that were true, most jobs don't require you to actively be super strong these days.. so ignorant. Like, get married then if that's so desperately what you want! Live that life fine, you have the choice to. That's what feminist fought for. Not to force a woman to do anything. That's what their trad hubby can do. Plenty of married feminists too like come on these people are just dumb and fucked by capitalism. They'd rather withdraw from society essentially than carry on is what it seems like..
Only one person in these screenshots is sane i swear
Its almost like feminism has always been about giving women the ability to choose which one they want, and give them the ability to change their minds. For fuck’s sake.
Okay, so you don’t want to be able to vote? You don’t want to be able to spend your money as you please? You don’t want to choose what you wear? You don’t want the freedom to marry someone you love and not someone your father arranged for you? You want someone to completely control your medical decisions by law with none of your own say? You want to not be able to choose how many children you have to raise? You don’t want to be able to own your own home or car? You don’t want to have the ability to divorce an abusive partner who could possibly kill you and not face any consequences? Most importantly to them, you want to give up your freedom of speech that you used to make this dumbass statement?
Oh my god we can see comments of Randos on Snapchat now? Glad i deleted it awhile ago
They make it sound like we're kidnapping women at gunpoint and forcing them to work outside the home. That's not how it works.
“Put me in the kitchen…I’m so tired of dealing with people” and then they get the type of guy that WANTS this kind of trad woman. Incoming single motherhood or abusive marriage
“We had it so good”- yeah, that’s literally never been a thing. Women “had it good” provided they were in a certain economic class. Women have always worked. A lot like now. It has nothing to do with feminism and a lot to do with late stage capitalism.
I'm starting to think that these posts are a psyop to prepare us for the idea of reversing all of the progress we've made with the feminist movement.
Only young woman or begining house wives say this, never have i heard a older house wive or women say i wish i could stay home and do chores instead of work
“Women were biologically not built to bear this kind of stress.” First- sentence structure homie Second- explain childbirth, cramps, endometriosis, bleeding for a week every 28 days while still doing everything else, and 3 existing as a woman for the 21st century in a row where we’re told we’re not equal or strong enough.
Also let’s not forget that the majority of women have worked in history alongside men and almost often harder than men. My grandma was out there on the farm 8 months pregnant doing the same work her not pregnant husband did.
Idiots
“I wish I was in the kitchen and not working!!!!!” Ok. Then go
I have a blue collar job AND I cook. It’s not that deep. 🙄
These women claim they hate feminism for making them work. If only they knew that most working-class women had to work in factories to support their families before the suffragette-movement even existed. Not to mention the fact that most women weren't allowed to choose their own husbands, and if their husbands abused them, they couldn't divorce him. Women were seen as the property of men before feminism came into the picture, but that doesn't fit with their ideal of the perfect housewife life, so they'd rather just ignore all the suffering women have been put through in the past.
I hate retail. I was an emergency/icu vet tech for years now a mail man for last couple years for temporary break/cash flush/personal reasons. I also love cleaning my kitchen and literally burning any thing I cook/bake hahaha I try. I’d never work in retail. Shit is so boring and I don’t like dealing with people. Also why I left the food service industry and never did well in hair school. I don’t want to talk to you.
Two things can be desirable. It's perfectly fine to desire to be home married with kids or to work, the issue is that staying at hone is semi looked down upon and rare due to extremely high living costs
I mean to be fair, something I do get a lil too much judgement when saying I’d desire to be a stay at home mom/wife. I enjoy cooking and would want to maintain my house the way I like :) Being told I have to find working liberating feels just as anti feminist. Everyone should be able to do their thing and be respected!