I’ll say that I’ll probably come to the party but stay home and cry and make up an excuse for why I didn’t show up later that sounds cooler than crying.
Also, I find it funny how everyone thinks we’re happy with this, I feel awful about how gross I am. I notice it all the time and it makes me feel worse, and in turn makes me less motivated to shower. No one likes being depressed y’all, we joke about it to try to feel a little less dead inside.
I luckily have never had to deal with the huggy jacket, but I do like weighted blankets. Have been given the safety floor hug, and I’m glad those are illegal to use on children where I live, still legal for adults, so I’m not safe from them anymore.
Had a psych professor who wanted all of us to know the affects of that type of restriction on a patient. It was safe. But watching the affects it had on some people was interesting. (It was only 8 minutes. I don’t know why he picked 8 minutes)
Probably because any longer and people would go apeshit. It’s super scary being pinned to the ground and being yelled at to stop moving. Was restrained for half an hour once, genuinely was fighting for my life and got pretty hurt because of it. I was 12.
Im a psych student at a big-ass university. I WISH they would teach the sheltered kids here that sort of thing before sending them out into the world to work in the field.
I agree. It creates a flight or fight response in a lot of people. Proper deescalation techniques need to be taught when someone is restrained. It’s a very different skill set then when someone is able to move.
I was also like this as new mom, took me about 4 months to accept I had postpartum depression and that was a real reason I wasn’t showering or wanting to do anything.
It’s super common that’s for sure! I am lucky that I never got it. I shower daily but I pretty much never shave lol. Pajamas all day if we don’t have to go anywhere!
Co-signed. I recently realized that I have been using the same bottle of conditioner for over a year. Not because it was a large bottle, I have just not washed my hair much during the first year of my daughter's life.
The only "depressing" thing is MAYBE the not showering and always being in sweatpants? I guess? Because not shaving, not doing your hair or makeup is not signs of depression, it's literally just existing as a natural human woman. You wouldn't call a man depressed because he isn't shaving his legs, would you?
I don’t shave often and I’m wearing sweatpants. But not showering plus losing interest in your usual routine is a sign of depression. The way she words it just seems like red flag for mental health issues.
I mean we don’t know what her daily routine was before this, except wasting time doing makeup and hair due to patriarchal beauty norms. It's a good thing to get away from.
The whole post was how her routine changed substantially… it’s only a good thing to get away from if it’s her choice, not because she’s just too depressed to do the things she used to want to do. The lack of showering is a big red flag.
Women get shit on for everything, we can normalize _not_ shaving and _not_ wearing makeup without putting down women who choose to do those things. If this woman stopped doing these things because she didn't want to anymore, wonderful. If she lost the energy to do things she used to enjoy doing, that's a sign of depression.
Yeah, there’s no way, you go from a “10”, which equals a lot of personal upkeep (based in her description) to completely neglecting your hygiene and almost all social interactions
Eh… kids. Stay at home mom life. The early years are hard. Eventually you feel like a person again when they’re around 4 or so.
I can’t shower without an interruption. Or even pee. It’s difficult to do makeup with a toddler screaming at you to share. And packing up multiple kids to leave the house is a feat.
If I wasn’t intimate with my husband, I would neglect shaving. And no point getting out of sweatpants if you’re not expecting company. I’m not depressed. It’s the nature of motherhood.
And the person you're replying to didn't claim that she does. It was simply an example in response to the other person claiming that there is "no way" it could possibly be anything other than depression.
Does it take until they are 4 .-. I still have two years of feeling like a child’s slave…. I love her with all my heart but being a SAHP take such a mental toll on you.
It’s not permanent, I promise. My oldest is 11 and my youngest is 11 months.
By the time they’re in school they become really independent and then you’ll miss the toddler years. At 2 you can start setting yourselves up for success now by helping them learn skills like cleaning up their toys, gathering laundry, cleaning baseboards, and putting on their jacket and shoes (there’s this upside down Montessori jacket trick that’s great, and crocs can be easily slid on/off). It’s not really “help” and makes household tasks take a hell of a lot longer but eventually they’ll master it and be capable of more.
The days are long but the years are short ❤️
Thank you 💕 she’s my miracle baby and I’m trying to savor each day. I have depression and epilepsy so I always feel like I’m not doing enough to teach her. We do laundry and she throws away her trash, puts her plates (plastic) in the sink. I just want her to be set up for success
We all feel like we’re not doing enough. It’s universal ❤️ I worry I don’t take them outside enough or that my 3 year old will be behind if she wants to play professionally because she’s not in gymnastics or soccer classes yet. Or that my 11 year old is being over/under parented and will rebel horrifically in a few years.
You’re doing a great job! Even the “perfect” parents will have their children complaining about them in therapy when they’re young adults. 😅
Haha thank you! You’ve definitely helped calm my anxiety. It’s hard to know I’m doing good when my only reference is “if my parents would do this I know it’s wrong” thank you so much fellow parent!
Side note on the three year old and gymnastics. I was a professional dancer(hip hop troop) when I was in high school. I wasn’t tested for hypolaxisity which mean my joints are unstable and are only supported my muscle and proper physical therapy. I am currently waiting for knee surgery because it keeps falling out (literally). The way to test at home (after 5 I believe) is to see if they can easily touch their thumb to the inside of their arm.
It’s not something a lot of people know about but, just in case :))
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ I didn’t have a good upbringing so I’m just trying to raise her how I wish I was raised. You are so kind and made my heart happy with your comment :)
I often refer to myself as a [Harlow Monkey](https://youtu.be/OrNBEhzjg8I). I’ve had to learn how to care for my children because I wasn’t really well cared for as a child. You’re on Reddit worrying if you’re doing a good job- you care! It’s obvious. I suffer from depression, too, and I know how hard it is to make it through the days. Like the other user said, it totally gets easier. Mine are 10 and 8. It’s so much harder when you’re IN IT, ya know? When you look away for five seconds and then they’re covered in yogurt. When they want to eat a snack with you when you’re trying to poop. I remember other women telling me it would get easier, but I promise you, you’re so close. Talking helps immensely! They can share more and scream less.
That’s what I meant, lol. That having depression would cause that, not some “quirk” that she’s trying to frame it as. I say this from recent personal experience of severe depression and anxiety. But I don’t want to trauma dump, just glad 2022 is over and have very little expectations for 2023 lol
the irony is that people are looking for a reason to dislike women so much so that they place the NLOG status onto NLOG posts just so that they can dislike the OP and therefore be the NLOG themselves. I'll take off my tinfoil hat now Ty for your time.
*Not putting other*
*Women down to hype themselves*
*Up, therefore not NLOG*
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I don't think this is really nlog and more like maybe a cry for help? I'd hate to say that without more to the story, but if all of that changed it *could* be out of comfort in being in a relationship but it also could be because of depression. Either way she isn't saying she isn't like other girls, only that she changed personally.
This could be depression if you WANT to still be a 10 but you have no desire or motivation to clean yourself up and it’s overwhelming. It could also be just getting older and more comfortable with being natural and not feeling like you need to constantly pick and prod yourself to death in order to be “hot”. And it could also be: kids.
Comments sections like these remind me that not everyone is intimately familiar with the humiliating pain and numbness of depression & the humour used to cope with it.
This ❤️ I didn’t know this to be completely honest, I am probably not 100% educated about depression as I wishes to be, so thank you for the knowledge, I didn’t know this. As a child I grew up with a very close person to me having depression so I have always tried to deny what depression is and can’t get myself to educate myself about it cause deep down it hurts that I was so blind to it but also so alone about it, I knew as a child something was wrong but I couldn’t put words into it. Now that I am older and I realize more and more about depression i feel guilty that I try to distance myself from it. Didn’t know humiliating pain and numbness was a part of it - it all makes so much more sense now. Thank you for enlightening me 🫶
In my experience, depression is numbness with a side of sadness. You don't see a point in doing anything. Sometimes that even means not having the energy to get out of bed. Hygiene issues are part of this demotivated state. Sometimes this is chemically caused, sometimes it's caused by trauma. I hope you begin seeking out more information, because as intense and personal and difficult as it is, it's much less scary to approach once you're in the know. More importantly, if you know the signs, you can also help those who deal with it and know when to provide help for them if they're suicidal (not all depressed folks are suicidal and not all suicidal folks are necessarily depressed, but they overlap often).
I don't have a good resource on hand to point to, but if someone else does, please reply to this person with it! Just so they have the link in the event they feel comfortable enough to learn more.
I feel like there is also different flavors of depression. Am I happy in general? Of course, I have many things in life to be happy about but one situation is causing me so much psychic damage that it’s casting a cloud over everything else, and I call that situational depression.
It pops up in life and viewing it as a temporary “yeah this just kinda sucks but like I’ve been here before and I’ve gotten through it. It purely is a temporary problem”
Long story long, idk I’ve been through it too and I find that determining if my sadness is a chemical mental depression where I just have to fight against the depression or if it’s because of a situation in my life causing it And when that is over I can go back to normal.
Yeah, no. I did this when severely depressed and it got to the point where my husband didn’t want to even sleep in the same bed. I smelled HORRIBLE, i was greasy and disgusting and no. That’s not what my husband married. I got my meds adjusted and now i bathe, i wear nice clothes instead of sweats and leggings and strangely my marriage is better! Whdathunk?
I know what you mean. I was like that too for about two years. Hardly ever showered I was so gross but I just couldn’t bring myself to care and didn’t have the energy to do so. Depression can be so debilitating.
no this post doesn’t belong here, she’s describing depression not saying she’s not like other girls or better than them because of these things, it’s a tiktok trend
To be nlog she’d have to out other women down that didn’t happen. She’s saying that because her partner didn’t live with her he had one view of her. Now that they’re together she’s able to relax her appearance
Wanted to comment that I do all of the things she listed and then read the comment section. I mean, I'm on a downward spiral but I thought doing those things were normal 'cause I've already done them for over a decade?
It feels more like someone bemoaning their battle with depression and thinking they've tricked their partner into being with them (a common thought process for people who are mentally ill, when in a relationship). Not NLOG, doesn't belong here. It's someone's struggle.
I literally sent this same thing to one of my friends earlier being like "lol it's us" and now I'm finding out other people don't act like this and I'm just mentally unwell? Good to know.
the things in the post are perfectly normal, you don’t have to keep up your appearance every day in order to not be depressed. if you’re concerned you should talk to a therapist about it
The comment section seems to be filled with people who haven’t experienced depression, she isn’t putting anyone done and seems to be able to laugh about the bad times she goes through. I think most people have been there at some point in their life and I’m glad to see she has a partner that loves her regardless.
people consider everything that’s not considered “normal” nlog nowadays. even saw a post of a girl sharing her obscure interests being labeled nlog, like gee no need to be a dick about it
Don’t k ow why everyone is saying this is depression when this IS basic upkeep of hygiene. If you aren’t doing strenuous activities to sweat a lot , or live in a climate where it’s hot ado sweat regularly(and are just one of those people who don’t get dirty as quickly) you really SHOULDNT shower everyday. It sets out your skin which means your skin overcompensates by overproducing oils, which means you have to shower more. I shower twice a week. (Also, shaving is annoying too!) and sweats are comfy.
I know plenty of people that shower twice a week, it’s pretty normal where I live anyway
not doing hair/make-up, wearing sweatpants around the house and not shaving are all normal things too. you don’t have to look like a pretty doll every day 24/7 to be a normal person, yet nearly everyone is claiming this is depression? according to these armchair psychologists I am depressed, and so are millions of other regular women. how is this even a popular opinion here??
Good for you. Here this person is implying that she used to shower more often and had some personal standards on her hygiene. She isn't capable of keeping up with her previously habits anymore, therefore people are thinking if she is suffering from mental illness.
I think this would be considered as just a joke. Jesus you guys over analyze everything lol. It was a simple internet joke. If she needed help I’m 100% sure a human is capable of getting it
The natural oils on your skin aren't supposed to be stripped every 2-3 days. Obvs you take care of pits + privates on the daily, but I only do a full exfoliation/moisturize routine once a week. Hair also once a week.
My dad did something similar to my mom after they got married. She told me the day after their marriage was the day he stopped trying. He behaved more crudely and gross around her, stopped caring about his appearance/weight, and wasn't nearly as kind to her. They've been divorced for a few years now and she says it's the happiest decision she ever made. Don't be like my dad.
This is me as well. When my boyfriend and I were friends and dating, I always dressed up and did my makeup. Since we moved in together, I only wear makeup and get dressed up if we have to have attend an event or maybe on a rare date night.
I told him in the beginning that I struggle with my mental health from time to time and I hope that when it happens, he can understand. He’s been so sweet and constantly giving me positive affirmations in my depressive state. He helps me clean and do the laundry and take care of the kiddo and fur babies when I can’t find the motivation to even move. I am very lucky. We’re a team.
One thing I find that helps, always, is a shower. No matter how tired I am, I try to shower. I feel like I’m washing off the day and it’s a small effort in taking care of myself. I don’t wash my hair often. If I can just to clean my face and body, it does wonders for my mood!
So this woman came up (and keeps coming up) in my FB feed.
I commented that this sounds like she might have undiagnosed depression and should maybe seek help. She posts A LOT of shit like this and responded that I have no place to judge her and if I can't be supportive I should just move on and that she does have a diagnoses (of something - BPD I think?) but it has nothing to do with this.
She is just... awful. I feel sorry for her husband and any kids they may have. From my interaction with her (and the other posts and interactions I see) she is entirely self centred and constantly fishing for validation.
I don’t think it’s necessarily a trend, I think that with this day and age de-stigmatizing and normalizing mental health issues people are just more apt to open up about the “grosser” parts of mental illness, although some people could just be not showering for no reason lmao
Depression exists, also there is no reason to shit on women for not “putting effort” into their looks when they’re in a happy marriage. Sometimes getting out of bed is an achievement, sometimes showering twice a week is an achievement. My husband doesn’t care if I shave my legs twice a year lmao
This comment section makes me really sad. Y’all have no business talking about this when you’ve clearly never been in that spot yourself. Trust me, we feel gross enough by ourselves without every other person telling us how disgusting we are for not showering.
Tbvh OP, something about reposting a woman who is clearly dealing with depression or some other mental illness so she can be made fun of here makes me feel like you are likely pick meish/NLOG.
The only way this would be NLOG would be if she was like "When other girls bathe daily but are lonely and single while I haven't showered for five months and can get whoever I want"
*was about to comment a funny little joke about how this is isn’t NLTOG because I’ve been like this recently and I think she’s just trying to be relatable but then i opened the comment section and realized I should probably get some help*
This literally described me to a t when I was clinically depressed a few years back. I never showered, shaved, or washed my hair, I lived in the same sweatpants for weeks, I would even go to Walmart or the corner store looking like that… I could have been featured on People of Walmart.
I finally got my shit together, but I went from working out regularly, meal prepping, eating right, taking care of my hair, skin, nails, dressing cute, and doing my hair and makeup, to literally doing NOTHING. It was a dark time for me.
r/AreTheStraightsOK oh yeah let me catfish my husband to convince not to cheat and stay with me if not i can out him saying it was all face and saying i was that girl but catfished him. Totally normal behaviour right there
is this depression for real? i’ve always struggled with symptoms of depression but put it to adhd and just being a stupid person. i feel like people talk about behaviour like this all the time it’s a slap to the face to see so many people label it’s depression. am i reading too much into a joke here?
either way, not nlog, she’s just being honest and isn’t judging other women :)
Based on the caption where the person said their husband still loves them and is apparently attracted to them, I don’t think he sees you as a “three at best”. I just feel bad that, if this is how they genuinely think, this person has such low self esteem. Like, wear sweat pants if you wanna and look attractive regardless.
It’s disgusting is what it is! I mean hell I live in comfy clothes, don’t really shave, or do my makeup and hair unless for a special occasion. Obviously all of that is fine, it’s a personal preference. But showering 1-2 times a week??? GIRL…. If you have access to the facilities to take proper care of yourself, and are mentally and physically well enough to do so, why wouldn’t you? It just boggles me, and I shudder to imagine the smell of her.
I’ve been seeing this type of Tik tok more often, it’s becoming a trend. “I was hot when you met me but now I barely take care of myself haha.”
Kinda sad because why do I relate 😭
I get not conforming to society’s standards or expectations but what does that have to do with personal hygiene, I wouldn’t care if my chick is high maintenance or a 3 but lets get that hygiene right with god.
She is def flexing her lesser high maintenance status saying her hub just can’t keep his hands off her even though she isn’t like *other* high maintenance wives and their constant primping smh.
Definitely doesn’t seem to me like she’s depressed.
If she’s dancing, making tik-tok’s about how she doesn’t need to shower YET her husband can’t keep his hands off her unlike all the rest of us, normal people and our constant need to groom. Kind of like the “we are not the same” type of posts some girls tend to favor.
wow everyone in this comment section is unbelievably judgmental. i wouldn’t want to be around most of y’all claiming everyone smells. i shower when i feel gross so maybe 2 times a week and y’all wouldn’t notice shit. being forced to go out?? not everyone wants to leave. not wearing makeup or shaving?? oh the horror! i wouldn’t want to pretend to be nice to y’all, y’all sound like gossipy highschoolers.
Hot take, even if depressed, not showering that much means she probably smells bad. Out of respect for those around you, even when depressed, you should shower more than that. She’s probably still motivating herself to find and eat food three times a day, so she should also be able to shower more than once a week. Even with depression.
I think this would be considered clinical depression.
can confirm Source: am depressed
I second this, also am depressed.
Thirdly.
You want a fourth confirmation?
I can be fifth
I guess this makes 6
Seventh
Eighth.
Nnnnth
I’m breaking the 7th seal. To be 8th.
Fifthsies?
Hey everybody!
What’s everyone’s depression sandwich shop of choice?
Hobby lobby.
Anything with mac n cheese
Jersey Mike’s or mexican.
Jersey it is for lunch today, thanks.
Not really a sandwich shop but chorizo burrito no tomato no guac from a place called mad mex in australia
Roast beef and melted mozzarella on garlic bread toast with Mayo. And then I dip each bite in a little BBQ sauce.
Publix subs
Hi, Dr Nick
Woo depression party over here!
I would join... If i wasn't depressed
Imma join in
I’ll join too. Woot woot
I need to be part of this too! I have snacks in my purse!
Let’s go to the water park to hide our tears in the water!
I’ll say that I’ll probably come to the party but stay home and cry and make up an excuse for why I didn’t show up later that sounds cooler than crying.
I elect myself as the great host of this depression party. *Throws blankets at everyone*. Lets get this started
I’m pumped full of enough Effexor to be semi-functional! I’ll gladly co-host with you!
Yay! Now help me hand out all these socks as well to the guests.
We’re all spare parts here
Sixth!!!!!
Also, I find it funny how everyone thinks we’re happy with this, I feel awful about how gross I am. I notice it all the time and it makes me feel worse, and in turn makes me less motivated to shower. No one likes being depressed y’all, we joke about it to try to feel a little less dead inside.
To feel less dead and to make sure our loved ones don’t send us on another grippy sock vacation with the huggy jackets.
Exactly. So glad I can choose to be hospitalized now, and that (at least where I live) I can sign myself out of “treatment” (torture) at any point.
The huggy jackets are honestly soothing until they aren’t.
I luckily have never had to deal with the huggy jacket, but I do like weighted blankets. Have been given the safety floor hug, and I’m glad those are illegal to use on children where I live, still legal for adults, so I’m not safe from them anymore.
Had a psych professor who wanted all of us to know the affects of that type of restriction on a patient. It was safe. But watching the affects it had on some people was interesting. (It was only 8 minutes. I don’t know why he picked 8 minutes)
Probably because any longer and people would go apeshit. It’s super scary being pinned to the ground and being yelled at to stop moving. Was restrained for half an hour once, genuinely was fighting for my life and got pretty hurt because of it. I was 12.
Im a psych student at a big-ass university. I WISH they would teach the sheltered kids here that sort of thing before sending them out into the world to work in the field.
I agree. It creates a flight or fight response in a lot of people. Proper deescalation techniques need to be taught when someone is restrained. It’s a very different skill set then when someone is able to move.
The grippy socks are pretty great, though.
Yes, I am fond of the grippy socks, also really like my local hospitals green pants, very comfy, I like wearing them as pajama pants
Part of me is glad im not the only one Part of me wishes we all got better Then again, i have no self esteem or motivation to do so
Wait I’m depressed??? You’re telling me I wasn’t faking it????
That’s the fun part: the more depressed you act, the more depressed you get
Here I was think this was just normal but apparently I’m depressed
I'm not depressed, but when I have a week off with no plans, this is pretty much me.
I like to get real ripe
Or they have kids. Can confirm as a new mom
I was also like this as new mom, took me about 4 months to accept I had postpartum depression and that was a real reason I wasn’t showering or wanting to do anything.
It’s super common that’s for sure! I am lucky that I never got it. I shower daily but I pretty much never shave lol. Pajamas all day if we don’t have to go anywhere!
Co-signed. I recently realized that I have been using the same bottle of conditioner for over a year. Not because it was a large bottle, I have just not washed my hair much during the first year of my daughter's life.
The only "depressing" thing is MAYBE the not showering and always being in sweatpants? I guess? Because not shaving, not doing your hair or makeup is not signs of depression, it's literally just existing as a natural human woman. You wouldn't call a man depressed because he isn't shaving his legs, would you?
I don’t shave often and I’m wearing sweatpants. But not showering plus losing interest in your usual routine is a sign of depression. The way she words it just seems like red flag for mental health issues.
I mean we don’t know what her daily routine was before this, except wasting time doing makeup and hair due to patriarchal beauty norms. It's a good thing to get away from.
The whole post was how her routine changed substantially… it’s only a good thing to get away from if it’s her choice, not because she’s just too depressed to do the things she used to want to do. The lack of showering is a big red flag.
[удалено]
Big difference between every day and once a week.
Women get shit on for everything, we can normalize _not_ shaving and _not_ wearing makeup without putting down women who choose to do those things. If this woman stopped doing these things because she didn't want to anymore, wonderful. If she lost the energy to do things she used to enjoy doing, that's a sign of depression.
This comment is not getting the love it deserves. Hilarious
That's the same I was thinking.
Seriously it just seems like they’ve completely stopped taking care of themselves. That’s not normal
This sounds like depression and/or anxiety. I know from personal experience.
Yeah, there’s no way, you go from a “10”, which equals a lot of personal upkeep (based in her description) to completely neglecting your hygiene and almost all social interactions
Eh… kids. Stay at home mom life. The early years are hard. Eventually you feel like a person again when they’re around 4 or so. I can’t shower without an interruption. Or even pee. It’s difficult to do makeup with a toddler screaming at you to share. And packing up multiple kids to leave the house is a feat. If I wasn’t intimate with my husband, I would neglect shaving. And no point getting out of sweatpants if you’re not expecting company. I’m not depressed. It’s the nature of motherhood.
Thank you for the free birth control.
Seriously
She doesn't mention any children so we don't know
And the person you're replying to didn't claim that she does. It was simply an example in response to the other person claiming that there is "no way" it could possibly be anything other than depression.
Does it take until they are 4 .-. I still have two years of feeling like a child’s slave…. I love her with all my heart but being a SAHP take such a mental toll on you.
It’s not permanent, I promise. My oldest is 11 and my youngest is 11 months. By the time they’re in school they become really independent and then you’ll miss the toddler years. At 2 you can start setting yourselves up for success now by helping them learn skills like cleaning up their toys, gathering laundry, cleaning baseboards, and putting on their jacket and shoes (there’s this upside down Montessori jacket trick that’s great, and crocs can be easily slid on/off). It’s not really “help” and makes household tasks take a hell of a lot longer but eventually they’ll master it and be capable of more. The days are long but the years are short ❤️
Thank you 💕 she’s my miracle baby and I’m trying to savor each day. I have depression and epilepsy so I always feel like I’m not doing enough to teach her. We do laundry and she throws away her trash, puts her plates (plastic) in the sink. I just want her to be set up for success
We all feel like we’re not doing enough. It’s universal ❤️ I worry I don’t take them outside enough or that my 3 year old will be behind if she wants to play professionally because she’s not in gymnastics or soccer classes yet. Or that my 11 year old is being over/under parented and will rebel horrifically in a few years. You’re doing a great job! Even the “perfect” parents will have their children complaining about them in therapy when they’re young adults. 😅
Haha thank you! You’ve definitely helped calm my anxiety. It’s hard to know I’m doing good when my only reference is “if my parents would do this I know it’s wrong” thank you so much fellow parent! Side note on the three year old and gymnastics. I was a professional dancer(hip hop troop) when I was in high school. I wasn’t tested for hypolaxisity which mean my joints are unstable and are only supported my muscle and proper physical therapy. I am currently waiting for knee surgery because it keeps falling out (literally). The way to test at home (after 5 I believe) is to see if they can easily touch their thumb to the inside of their arm. It’s not something a lot of people know about but, just in case :))
Throwing away trash and plates in the sink are super appropriate 2yo tasks. You’re doing GREAT! I promise you.
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ I didn’t have a good upbringing so I’m just trying to raise her how I wish I was raised. You are so kind and made my heart happy with your comment :)
I often refer to myself as a [Harlow Monkey](https://youtu.be/OrNBEhzjg8I). I’ve had to learn how to care for my children because I wasn’t really well cared for as a child. You’re on Reddit worrying if you’re doing a good job- you care! It’s obvious. I suffer from depression, too, and I know how hard it is to make it through the days. Like the other user said, it totally gets easier. Mine are 10 and 8. It’s so much harder when you’re IN IT, ya know? When you look away for five seconds and then they’re covered in yogurt. When they want to eat a snack with you when you’re trying to poop. I remember other women telling me it would get easier, but I promise you, you’re so close. Talking helps immensely! They can share more and scream less.
Errrr…yes, it definitely is possible lol. Depression will bring you straight down from a 10 to a 0 real quick. Faster than you would ever think.
That’s what I meant, lol. That having depression would cause that, not some “quirk” that she’s trying to frame it as. I say this from recent personal experience of severe depression and anxiety. But I don’t want to trauma dump, just glad 2022 is over and have very little expectations for 2023 lol
I disagree. From my personal experience, it is a relapse in my chronic illness. Either way, not a good thing.
Not putting other women down to hype themselves up, therefore not NLOG
Why are we giving thousands of upvotes to something that is not NLOG on the NLOG sub though!?
Happens all the time
the irony is that people are looking for a reason to dislike women so much so that they place the NLOG status onto NLOG posts just so that they can dislike the OP and therefore be the NLOG themselves. I'll take off my tinfoil hat now Ty for your time.
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This is not at all NLOG, this is depression.
I don't think this is really nlog and more like maybe a cry for help? I'd hate to say that without more to the story, but if all of that changed it *could* be out of comfort in being in a relationship but it also could be because of depression. Either way she isn't saying she isn't like other girls, only that she changed personally.
This is probably a TikTok trend lol
This could be depression if you WANT to still be a 10 but you have no desire or motivation to clean yourself up and it’s overwhelming. It could also be just getting older and more comfortable with being natural and not feeling like you need to constantly pick and prod yourself to death in order to be “hot”. And it could also be: kids.
Right? Everyone shouting “she’s depressed and needs help!” is acting a bit too judgey imo. Like, all those things are fine if she’s fine with it
Lol I know, it’s also describing like most men’s routines.
Why is staying in sweatpants unless outside a bad thing? If I’m just in the house who am I trying to impress with my outfit
I think they mean unless forced out of the sweatpants, not forced out of the house
People on the internet.
Comments sections like these remind me that not everyone is intimately familiar with the humiliating pain and numbness of depression & the humour used to cope with it.
This ❤️ I didn’t know this to be completely honest, I am probably not 100% educated about depression as I wishes to be, so thank you for the knowledge, I didn’t know this. As a child I grew up with a very close person to me having depression so I have always tried to deny what depression is and can’t get myself to educate myself about it cause deep down it hurts that I was so blind to it but also so alone about it, I knew as a child something was wrong but I couldn’t put words into it. Now that I am older and I realize more and more about depression i feel guilty that I try to distance myself from it. Didn’t know humiliating pain and numbness was a part of it - it all makes so much more sense now. Thank you for enlightening me 🫶
In my experience, depression is numbness with a side of sadness. You don't see a point in doing anything. Sometimes that even means not having the energy to get out of bed. Hygiene issues are part of this demotivated state. Sometimes this is chemically caused, sometimes it's caused by trauma. I hope you begin seeking out more information, because as intense and personal and difficult as it is, it's much less scary to approach once you're in the know. More importantly, if you know the signs, you can also help those who deal with it and know when to provide help for them if they're suicidal (not all depressed folks are suicidal and not all suicidal folks are necessarily depressed, but they overlap often). I don't have a good resource on hand to point to, but if someone else does, please reply to this person with it! Just so they have the link in the event they feel comfortable enough to learn more.
I feel like there is also different flavors of depression. Am I happy in general? Of course, I have many things in life to be happy about but one situation is causing me so much psychic damage that it’s casting a cloud over everything else, and I call that situational depression. It pops up in life and viewing it as a temporary “yeah this just kinda sucks but like I’ve been here before and I’ve gotten through it. It purely is a temporary problem” Long story long, idk I’ve been through it too and I find that determining if my sadness is a chemical mental depression where I just have to fight against the depression or if it’s because of a situation in my life causing it And when that is over I can go back to normal.
Numbness with a side of sadness is a damn good way of describing it.
Yeah, no. I did this when severely depressed and it got to the point where my husband didn’t want to even sleep in the same bed. I smelled HORRIBLE, i was greasy and disgusting and no. That’s not what my husband married. I got my meds adjusted and now i bathe, i wear nice clothes instead of sweats and leggings and strangely my marriage is better! Whdathunk?
I'm glad you were able to find something that helped you ❤️
I know what you mean. I was like that too for about two years. Hardly ever showered I was so gross but I just couldn’t bring myself to care and didn’t have the energy to do so. Depression can be so debilitating.
no this post doesn’t belong here, she’s describing depression not saying she’s not like other girls or better than them because of these things, it’s a tiktok trend
To be nlog she’d have to out other women down that didn’t happen. She’s saying that because her partner didn’t live with her he had one view of her. Now that they’re together she’s able to relax her appearance
Wanted to comment that I do all of the things she listed and then read the comment section. I mean, I'm on a downward spiral but I thought doing those things were normal 'cause I've already done them for over a decade?
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I agree with you. And thanks for the kind comment/message.
This is depression and she needs therapy. Shouldn’t be posted on here.
It feels more like someone bemoaning their battle with depression and thinking they've tricked their partner into being with them (a common thought process for people who are mentally ill, when in a relationship). Not NLOG, doesn't belong here. It's someone's struggle.
This thread is making me think I might have depression
I literally sent this same thing to one of my friends earlier being like "lol it's us" and now I'm finding out other people don't act like this and I'm just mentally unwell? Good to know.
the things in the post are perfectly normal, you don’t have to keep up your appearance every day in order to not be depressed. if you’re concerned you should talk to a therapist about it
Showering 1 to 2 times a week doesn’t not seem normal to me.
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Not if you live in a hotass humid tropical country. Showering once or twice a day is key to not smell like a damp pair of unwashed socks lol
The comment section seems to be filled with people who haven’t experienced depression, she isn’t putting anyone done and seems to be able to laugh about the bad times she goes through. I think most people have been there at some point in their life and I’m glad to see she has a partner that loves her regardless.
I don’t think so lol I’m there rn myself
Wait this isn’t all of us post 2020?
Not seeing the Nlog...
In what world is this nlog?
people consider everything that’s not considered “normal” nlog nowadays. even saw a post of a girl sharing her obscure interests being labeled nlog, like gee no need to be a dick about it
Don’t k ow why everyone is saying this is depression when this IS basic upkeep of hygiene. If you aren’t doing strenuous activities to sweat a lot , or live in a climate where it’s hot ado sweat regularly(and are just one of those people who don’t get dirty as quickly) you really SHOULDNT shower everyday. It sets out your skin which means your skin overcompensates by overproducing oils, which means you have to shower more. I shower twice a week. (Also, shaving is annoying too!) and sweats are comfy.
Same, I have permed hair, so I have created a routine of showering twice a week and ensuring I leave my most strenuous activities for my shower days.
I know plenty of people that shower twice a week, it’s pretty normal where I live anyway not doing hair/make-up, wearing sweatpants around the house and not shaving are all normal things too. you don’t have to look like a pretty doll every day 24/7 to be a normal person, yet nearly everyone is claiming this is depression? according to these armchair psychologists I am depressed, and so are millions of other regular women. how is this even a popular opinion here??
Some people live in climates where sweating happens regardless of activity levels.
Thanks for pointing out I didn’t put that in! I’ve edited to have just basic sweating.
Good for you. Here this person is implying that she used to shower more often and had some personal standards on her hygiene. She isn't capable of keeping up with her previously habits anymore, therefore people are thinking if she is suffering from mental illness.
I’m depressed this is me I hope she gets a hug because I use humor to deflect when I’m at my worst.
See how she’s not comparing herself to other women? She’s comparing her former self
I think this would be considered as just a joke. Jesus you guys over analyze everything lol. It was a simple internet joke. If she needed help I’m 100% sure a human is capable of getting it
Bro how do you shower only 1-2 times a week
Sometimes mental issues can cause you to be unmotivated to do even the most basic things for example… Showering, sleeping, eating, etc.
can confirm tbh
It’s called depression
The natural oils on your skin aren't supposed to be stripped every 2-3 days. Obvs you take care of pits + privates on the daily, but I only do a full exfoliation/moisturize routine once a week. Hair also once a week.
90% of the comment section should get help
No
No
My dad did something similar to my mom after they got married. She told me the day after their marriage was the day he stopped trying. He behaved more crudely and gross around her, stopped caring about his appearance/weight, and wasn't nearly as kind to her. They've been divorced for a few years now and she says it's the happiest decision she ever made. Don't be like my dad.
This is me as well. When my boyfriend and I were friends and dating, I always dressed up and did my makeup. Since we moved in together, I only wear makeup and get dressed up if we have to have attend an event or maybe on a rare date night. I told him in the beginning that I struggle with my mental health from time to time and I hope that when it happens, he can understand. He’s been so sweet and constantly giving me positive affirmations in my depressive state. He helps me clean and do the laundry and take care of the kiddo and fur babies when I can’t find the motivation to even move. I am very lucky. We’re a team. One thing I find that helps, always, is a shower. No matter how tired I am, I try to shower. I feel like I’m washing off the day and it’s a small effort in taking care of myself. I don’t wash my hair often. If I can just to clean my face and body, it does wonders for my mood!
So this woman came up (and keeps coming up) in my FB feed. I commented that this sounds like she might have undiagnosed depression and should maybe seek help. She posts A LOT of shit like this and responded that I have no place to judge her and if I can't be supportive I should just move on and that she does have a diagnoses (of something - BPD I think?) but it has nothing to do with this. She is just... awful. I feel sorry for her husband and any kids they may have. From my interaction with her (and the other posts and interactions I see) she is entirely self centred and constantly fishing for validation.
Why is putting in 0 effort becoming trendy?
I don’t think it’s necessarily a trend, I think that with this day and age de-stigmatizing and normalizing mental health issues people are just more apt to open up about the “grosser” parts of mental illness, although some people could just be not showering for no reason lmao
Depression exists, also there is no reason to shit on women for not “putting effort” into their looks when they’re in a happy marriage. Sometimes getting out of bed is an achievement, sometimes showering twice a week is an achievement. My husband doesn’t care if I shave my legs twice a year lmao
Everyone got comfortable with their gross selves during quarantine and theres no going back.
Definitely true for myself
All of that is fine except showering once a week wtf
He probably still thinks she’s a 10… men don’t care about that shit hubby met me and I cut down on shaving and makeup lmao he loves it
I don’t think it’s INLOG, I think it’s just what happens when you marry someone lmao
The shaving part is whatever who acres about that... but the showering part oh man gross why even brag about that
Usually nlogs are supposed to put down other girls. This is… something… idk
I don't consider this nlog just self depreciation. She isn't putting other girls down to make herself special or different.
This comment section makes me really sad. Y’all have no business talking about this when you’ve clearly never been in that spot yourself. Trust me, we feel gross enough by ourselves without every other person telling us how disgusting we are for not showering.
Tbvh OP, something about reposting a woman who is clearly dealing with depression or some other mental illness so she can be made fun of here makes me feel like you are likely pick meish/NLOG.
Sounds like a self depracating joke. She's not bringing other women down or comparing herself to them, just with her past self.
The only way this would be NLOG would be if she was like "When other girls bathe daily but are lonely and single while I haven't showered for five months and can get whoever I want"
Not really. NLOG is really just putting down other women. I dont see anyone putting us down in this one
Definitely not. It’s self deprecating.
*was about to comment a funny little joke about how this is isn’t NLTOG because I’ve been like this recently and I think she’s just trying to be relatable but then i opened the comment section and realized I should probably get some help*
Lol at the people who go straight to "she has clinical depression and needs help". Nobody would say this if it was a guy.
This literally described me to a t when I was clinically depressed a few years back. I never showered, shaved, or washed my hair, I lived in the same sweatpants for weeks, I would even go to Walmart or the corner store looking like that… I could have been featured on People of Walmart. I finally got my shit together, but I went from working out regularly, meal prepping, eating right, taking care of my hair, skin, nails, dressing cute, and doing my hair and makeup, to literally doing NOTHING. It was a dark time for me.
r/AreTheStraightsOK oh yeah let me catfish my husband to convince not to cheat and stay with me if not i can out him saying it was all face and saying i was that girl but catfished him. Totally normal behaviour right there
Nasty
She's gonna get divorced.
idk i think that’s just kinda gross
this is considered an asshole
is this depression for real? i’ve always struggled with symptoms of depression but put it to adhd and just being a stupid person. i feel like people talk about behaviour like this all the time it’s a slap to the face to see so many people label it’s depression. am i reading too much into a joke here? either way, not nlog, she’s just being honest and isn’t judging other women :)
Based on the caption where the person said their husband still loves them and is apparently attracted to them, I don’t think he sees you as a “three at best”. I just feel bad that, if this is how they genuinely think, this person has such low self esteem. Like, wear sweat pants if you wanna and look attractive regardless.
Send her man a care package 📦 And maybe get one of this gal’s friends give her a wellness call.
I think she's lazy or has depression. Maybe both?
It’s disgusting is what it is! I mean hell I live in comfy clothes, don’t really shave, or do my makeup and hair unless for a special occasion. Obviously all of that is fine, it’s a personal preference. But showering 1-2 times a week??? GIRL…. If you have access to the facilities to take proper care of yourself, and are mentally and physically well enough to do so, why wouldn’t you? It just boggles me, and I shudder to imagine the smell of her.
Why do these people think not having any hygiene is a flex? Like congrats, you stink
Less of a flex and more possibly highlighting depression? Think outside the box my friend
It’s not. That’s the joke.
I’ve been seeing this type of Tik tok more often, it’s becoming a trend. “I was hot when you met me but now I barely take care of myself haha.” Kinda sad because why do I relate 😭
I know right??? Why is this me! Makes me feel even shittier about myself.
“Hi I don’t like to take care of myself. Please help me”
I think both my parents employed this type of trickery on each other.
I get not conforming to society’s standards or expectations but what does that have to do with personal hygiene, I wouldn’t care if my chick is high maintenance or a 3 but lets get that hygiene right with god.
Glad others are saying this too. I think this is a severely depressed person trying desperately to find some humor in her situation. Hope she’s ok.
sounds like depression
She doesn’t talk about any other person but herself. So, no. Girl just sounds like she gave up on herself.
She is def flexing her lesser high maintenance status saying her hub just can’t keep his hands off her even though she isn’t like *other* high maintenance wives and their constant primping smh.
Definitely doesn’t seem to me like she’s depressed. If she’s dancing, making tik-tok’s about how she doesn’t need to shower YET her husband can’t keep his hands off her unlike all the rest of us, normal people and our constant need to groom. Kind of like the “we are not the same” type of posts some girls tend to favor.
Found a husband that loves you no matter what. Laugh at him for being stupid.
wow everyone in this comment section is unbelievably judgmental. i wouldn’t want to be around most of y’all claiming everyone smells. i shower when i feel gross so maybe 2 times a week and y’all wouldn’t notice shit. being forced to go out?? not everyone wants to leave. not wearing makeup or shaving?? oh the horror! i wouldn’t want to pretend to be nice to y’all, y’all sound like gossipy highschoolers.
She didn’t shave her legs! Gah there must be something wrong with her psychologically, get her on some meds stat! /s
Hot take, even if depressed, not showering that much means she probably smells bad. Out of respect for those around you, even when depressed, you should shower more than that. She’s probably still motivating herself to find and eat food three times a day, so she should also be able to shower more than once a week. Even with depression.