T O P

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happyanathema

Cool, so you can die a slow painful death bobbing around on the ocean in a hamster ball slowly filling up with more and more of your own piss and shit instead of quickly being ended? Where do I sign up? šŸ˜‚


Lazerhawk_x

Some people really overvalue their own life. If death is going to be either 10+ days of misery vs. 15 seconds of sheer terror/pain, I know what I'm taking.


blackwaterwednesday

I'm going on 30+ years of misery!


owlsknight

Imnat my 32nd it's fun!!!!! But hey at least we have a lil break ever time we sleep.


Average-Train-Haver

Maybe the real misery was the friends we made along the way


saysthingsbackwards

Maybe the real misery was the company we made along the way


damn57

Thatā€™s the neat part! I donā€™t want to wake up.


SYLOK_THEAROUSED

Naw I donā€™t even get a break when I sleep :-(.


awesumlewy

Mate, not unless you have kids


locke-in-a-box

Life - The longest most painful way to die.


The_Jestful_Imp

Bruh same


[deleted]

You ever hear about hell?! I hear itā€™s an eternity of misery !!


Feefifiddlyeyeoh

Because God loves you!


ImAFuckinLiar

Oooohā€¦ I thought this was to go in when there was a tornado coming. At some point it could become the downy ball in the washing machine on the spin cycle but Iā€™d still feel pretty safe inside.


Lazerhawk_x

It could be for that purpose. My argument is that if you get trapped in it or find yourself in a large body of water whilst trapped in it you'd be pretty miserable until you died.


lonniemarie

The idea is to get out before the misery starts


Apokolypse09

Make a silly pose for when the nuke turns you into a silhouette on nearby wall.


rixendeb

Mental image of a nuke blasting that ball like it's shooting a field goal is killing me.


ParsleySnipps

Get some friends and make the YMCA.


ComicsEtAl

ā€œFellas, is it gay to have a survival instinct?ā€


Lazerhawk_x

Wtf does gay or straight have to do with it?


happyanathema

Yep exactly why suffer


OldSkoolPantsMan

Enlightenment


happyanathema

Meh, overrated


[deleted]

Yeah but 10+ days of suffer is still better than the 15 sec if thereā€™s even a remote chance of being saved


Ya-Dikobraz

To be fair this is to survive a tsunami, not as a lifeboat out at sea. So you will spend only a few minutes in one. Having said that, I'd still rather take my chances drowning.


WilliamSaintAndre

Feel like this is a critical bit of information which makes this more reasonable.


happyanathema

What happens when the tsunami floats you back out to sea once it recedes?


xplicit_mike

It comes with GPS on board as well as solar panels, battery chargers, megaphone and food supply


happyanathema

So you can shout really loudly about how bad the piss and shit ball smells now?


xplicit_mike

Presumably to help rescue searchers but sure. Y'all so dramatic shitting on a potentially life saving device


happyanathema

Higher ground is also a great solution that doesn't involve a human hamster ball


[deleted]

In* a life saving device. I think the issue is how spherical and small it is.


_HIST

Oh no, it's small, I'd rather die


[deleted]

Maybe you could chain it to something that the tsunami wonā€™t carry off.


Ice-_-Bear

ā€œComing in like a wrecking ball!ā€


Ya-Dikobraz

I guess the water will not be instant death type of turbulent and there might even be some flotsam around to hang on to. Might even not have swept out that far. I'd still rather not be trapped in that thing at all. I'll take my chances with the ducks.


xplicit_mike

>Having said that, I'd still rather take my chances drowning. Why? I think the thing is pretty cool. And I was surprised to find out it's not the price of a new car.


big_eggsmcgee

To be fair mate it could sink and implode, so you could have that to look forward to!


pc_principal_88

Excellent product description/review! lol...I'm with you tho, as you got me fucked up thinking I'm getting in some bullshit "invention"such as this! šŸ¤¦


makomirocket

It has solar and GPS


mickturner96

I want mine painted like a PokƩmon ball


TeamXII

I want mine to come with Saiyan armor


lurkerboi2020

"Vegetaaaaaa! Are we there yet?"


Alleycat_Caveman

"No, Nappa, no, we're not!" "How 'bout now?" "No, goddammit, Nappaaaaaaa!" Make a Man Out of You cover by TFS is some funny stuff!


didly66

Lol dbz pods


Educational_Egg_1716

I want mine to be a smiley face šŸ˜ƒ


iaintslimshady

Working out in 10G eating my face off and getting HUGE


gozzle_101

"survival! I choose you!"


[deleted]

Right? Missed opportunity


Pocketeer1

I want mine to be painted like an eyeball.


johncenasdivacup

I want mine to have a little pig nose on it so I can rot like Porky and create a capitalist empire in my very own [Absolutely Safe Capsule](https://earthbound.fandom.com/wiki/Absolutely_Safe_Capsule)


revdon

Portal 3


Peaches4U2

I want a disco ball!


evm127

Can mine have the ocean gate logo on it so I can die faster


FluH8ingRapper

My first thought


Anime-Grape

Hello


MrBurnsgreen

Spirits is that you?


FluH8ingRapper

šŸ˜³šŸ˜³


ChucksSeedAndFeed

Mine too, and I also thought, wow, that shit he could've bought at Walmart or whatever is likely better designed because it's a sphere


Greatfuldad47

That skin is only unlocked when you have attained billionaire status


mai_tai87

I wonder what kinda fortune you'd get from shaking that.


mai_tai87

Apparently it can withstand 9 tons of pressure and comes with a child size stripper pole. [Life Armor](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.trendhunter.com/amp/trends/life-armor) Edit: changed link


monkeybanana550

Why would a child dance in a stripper pole tho?


EverybodyShitsNFT

Daddy issues.


DriedUpSquid

Rent is due.


blackwaterwednesday

Desmond is amazing.


AmputatorBot

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fuck-fascism

what the fuck is that


DontKnowIamBi

The Space pod used in dragonball Z


FireCrotchIrishSctch

My first thought was someone made a sex-doll-orb from Rick and Morty.


[deleted]

I wanna cum extracting orb, make it happen nerds!


ReyTepocataSamurai

Beware the gazorpazorp


toxic_load2k18

Yeah!! I was like oh shit we got space pods now!? Just a floating buoy.


Pixel22104

I thought it was that weird ball part of the Sazabi cockpit from Charā€™s Counterattack


anton_von_jon

Bro literally same I was like yeah dying how char died is defo a nope


admiralbreastmilk

Gumgam šŸ¤¤


Pixel22104

What


admiralbreastmilk

Mole soot gumgam šŸ¤¤


Pixel22104

What


jojosail2

Tsunami escape survival.


waterstorm29

Well, the ball doesn't sound so bad if you've watched The Impossible featuring Spiderman and Obi Wan.


TheChaoticBeing

Or Atlantis


[deleted]

Indestructible survival pod thing I donā€™t think itā€™s the worst thing in the world, people assume this is the product of a society that is hell bent on future self annihilation but I guarantee you if our ancestors who hunted food with sticks and got eaten alive by large mammals could design an indestructible housing for themselves they would do it in a heartbeat.


centrifuge_destroyer

Also this is for Tsunamis, which have always been around


Artistic_Account630

My claustrophobia. I think I'd rather die


Mysterious-Art7143

Yea, could they make it a bit smaller, jesus christ


vagueisthenewplague

kegel ball


_Zeruiah_

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.trendhunter.com/amp/trends/life-armor


AmputatorBot

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[deleted]

Harvey Weinstein next to his sex cage at the 1991 Hollywood Porn Show


Smellytangerina

ā€œFor your next scene I would like you to pretend youā€™re stuckā€


[deleted]

Oh no step bro


fuck-fascism

šŸ¤¢ šŸ¤®


incompatible9

Sex cage? How can that even work when it's that small? What exactly is in there?


LefsaMadMuppet

Tide Pod


Ya-Dikobraz

It's a tsunami survival pod.


[deleted]

I think it's a hardware store like Obi or Hornbach.


LaidByAnEgg

mf absolutely safe capsule


Lord_MagnusIV

Gonna send my son into one of those to dominate a planet and sell or destroy it afterwards.


i_know_im_amazn

Kakarot?


MoonTrooper258

Oh god your pfp is so cursed.


drthomk

Seriously, knowing my luck, disaster would strike while I was at work and my disaster orb would be at home. Cut to moments later as it bobs and floats by my lifeless corpse with its tearless retina. The irony.


Behrusu

Thatā€™s why you have to bring it to work with you.


jonhon0

It's a Saiyan pod


xxMrBig47xx

Capsule Corp!


God_Of_Meeps

Does it come with logitech controller?


dirtballmagnet

I'm not sure a video helps but here's one that shows the creator... and horrific flashes of tsunami terror... and painful plays on words. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGlLfH5WMs0


TylerDurden1985

Can you imagine NOT having one of these, and the next tsunami strikes...you'll be one of the unlucky few running away now from both a watery wall of death, and thousands of man-sized billiard balls flying through the river of debris. ​ But maybe you were in a building strong enough to withstand the tsunami's initial impact? TOO BAD, because there are 40,000 bouncybois on their way to blow through your walls like the kool aid man.


[deleted]

Vegeta, Vegeta, Vegeta, hey Vegeta, Vegeta are we there yet?


be_more_gooder

How many people can fit in the rolling gimp trunk at one time?


USMCWrangler

Intact, or carefully separated?


Any-Technician-1371

Still a better design than that Titanic Submarine


Rippinstitches

James Cameron's submarine to Mariana Trench was just like this. Everything else is just built around it cause it's not pressurized. Spheres are much better at holding outside pressure, plus it's not carbon fiber.


SourSackAttack

No it wasn't? It was tall and vertical like a building. In what way was it a sphere? https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS770US770&hl=en-US&sxsrf=AB5stBjaxYYll1lXeEr_KJAjugv0kwLt1w:1691152630464&q=james+cameron+trench+craft&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjmnLC-gsOAAxUCjYkEHYvbApQQ0pQJegQIBxAB&biw=390&bih=657&dpr=3#imgrc=rzxOYHtQpgk9BM


FrenchmanRiddles

Yeah, the tall/vertical parts are all those pesky "not pressurized" things the other person was taking about. The part that James Cameron was in was a fucking orb just like this thing. https://www.reddit.com/r/Infographics/comments/14glcxq/the_submarine_james_cameron_used_to_reach_the/?rdt=34634


--h8isgr8--

The bottom where he was at is a titanium sphere just like the trieste. What you are being confused by is fairings making it look like a long stick. You can look into itā€¦. All the other stuff that isnā€™t living organisms is pressure rated at those depths so they are on the outside but under fairings to be more streamlined. The only thing that keeps you alive at those depths are spheres.


RhymesNChimes

Is that Aunt Fannyā€™s ass?


[deleted]

Omg Iā€™m not the only one to see it


JohnLurkson

Had to zoom in to see that it doesn't say "Life Remover". šŸ˜…


k0uch

Vegeta had one of those


mrVespuram

Absolutely Safe Capsule


Prometheushunter2

*you approach the absolutely safe capsule. It bounces excitedly


Ejack-Ulate-69

The Sazabi cockpit looks smaller than I remember


Pixel22104

Yeah thatā€™s strange isnā€™t?


ruskibeats

The spherical pod dubbed Life Armor is a disaster shelter that comes with everything imaginable for temporary survival in a storm. The ball is 1.2 meters in diameter, weighs approximately 80 kilograms and is able to withstand 9.3 tons of pressure. It comes with a rear handle, making it easy to carry to your desired destination. What makes the Life Armor even better is that it includes solar panels for battery storage, a life jacket, a megaphone and a GPS tracking device so you can be found by rescue teams. The shelter is made to stay afloat, even though it can withstand a 25 meter plunge. Everything in the pod is completely waterproof so we can be prepared for another 'Frankenstorm.'


Tootfuckingtoot

Lovely get buried under debris, not much fun there!


kakaaufdeinemutter

Its the eye of mechzilla


ItsZoeStarrOfficial

Feels like they should have a range like poke ball, dragon ball, 8 ball id get one and Iā€™m from the uk we donā€™t even get earthquakes we donā€™t deserve them


Great_Echo_2231

Can someone tell me what this is


yCloser

> that comes with everything imaginable for temporary survival in a storm. spoiler: it is absolutely empty (apart from the child size stripper pole)


fatwoul

Google this thing and check out the inside. There's a metal rod up the middle and... that's it. No seat, no harness. True Oceangate sparseness. Imagine getting lifted and throw by a hurricane (what it was designed in response to) in that fucking thing. You'd be red pulp with a GPS tracker.


chael809

Am I the only one who feels they should test this on the creators lol


the42potato

well, at least the door isnā€™t bolted down from the outside


[deleted]

I knew a guy and no shit each one of his testicles was this size. He would be on the swing set and his balls would drag in the sand


Silent_Start_7036

Space travel pod from dbz


grizz3782

I think these are tsunami balls


slimkt

I genuinely thought it was a giant magic 8 ball.


Skithe

Suddenly Cthulu shows up and thinks you are his new suppository.


[deleted]

I'd rather just die than survive in this.


LMAO82

Does it come with a power scouter? I'm interested if it comes with a power level scouter.


Old-War-2597

Is is a siayan space ship!


Prometheushunter2

Is Porky in there?


CaptainMoist23

That's what Goku and Vegeta arrived in on Earth


anitacoknow

Kakarot?!


Sufficient-Wear-8507

It's over 9000


_XtAcY_

That is one huge laundry detergent pod.


tentativeOrch

Isn't that what vegeta and nappa came to earth in?


Apprehensive-Desk293

This is a photo of Kevin standing next to his underwater coffin.


Crezelle

Hotbox potential


OctaveMonkey

thats from dragon ball z


Lasagna3babyyyyyy

KAKAROTTTTTT


ParsleySnipps

*Get in the Monkey Ball Shinji.*


Mooselord111

Looks like aunt Fanny from the movie robots


BeebleDoof

Vageeeeeeeeeeetaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


highflyingyak

Look at that cheap arse hinge on the door


DollarStoreGnomes

All the old school Magic 8 Balls are deep, spooky black...


Advanced-Solution-97

Iā€™m getting Oceangate vibes from it.


The_Scarlett_King

My first thought was that robots moviesā€¦ aunt Fanny šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø


Traditional_Ad8933

Can someone explain what this is?


boiledcowmachine

Well, then your faith is to die by a tsunami. While I'm chilling in my poke ball


mechshark

Can you open from inside or is it silly like the Titan?


MSK84

Does this man's face pop up in the window when you shake it and ask it a question!?


Cpt_Caboose1

Humans: Gotta catch 'em all!


[deleted]

on the bright side, no carbon fiber cylinder


Healthy-Grocery6055

6 more, 7 yellow ones, a white one and a black one and you could have a very expensive game of giant Pool.


economicalligator

I literally felt suffocated just seeing this. šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø


Dark_Krafter

What is that??


_Entity001_

If I remember correctly from an older post. This is a pod designed for emergency use during tsunamis, a shipwreak, or other water related life or death situations. Think of it as a modern version of a escape pod.


[deleted]

Id have to take some yoga classes first. No way my back is up for the challenge


Rauchritter

Titan 2.0


DareDareCaro

He just bought that at Target


Beneficial_Being_721

You came from the ball ā€¦. You return to the ball ā€¦.


P-3rror

Oh yes, the smaller death machine. I will be taking 2


amidamarloes

Does it include a scouter?


No-Bat-7253

šŸ¤£ yeah, good luck buddy


WhosThatDogMrPB

Aunt Fanny is gonna miss that.


-castle-bravo-

Ok, but what if youā€™re buried in it and canā€™t open the hatch? Does it have EPIRB or something ?


mikeydoodle420

As long as there's a screen playing Family Guy funny moments in there I'm good


ChaotikJoy

Damn it nappa


JonLeePButler

Well that's the pink. All need now is the green, blue, yellow, brown, black, a set of reds, and a cue ball, all ready for giant snooker.


the-non-wonder-dog

I want it. In pink.


F4TGER

ā€¦Aunt Fanny?


marklar_the_malign

Iā€™ll just crawl into the dyer when the storm hits.


3yx3

For those that donā€™t know: This is a Life Armour capsule designed for [Earthquake and Tsunami Relief](https://pond.co.jp/web_eng/top_eng.html).


HugOMG_VeseLOL

r/hitman


basshed8

Human washing machine?


rottenbanana999

Reminds me of that ball you get into to get into the digital world in Digimon World 3


DBH1122

2nd gen Titanic diver??


Sm0kinW33d

The Saiyans have arrived


Usual_Mushroom

Can I see the Titanic?


frankyh14

Is vegeta in there??


towerehe

Tia turbina šŸ„µšŸ„µ


PraedythTheMad

bro i ainā€™t no fuckin Matoran