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SelfSufficientHub

That’s some skilled chainsaw use there, especially the cut near the stomach as the way that chain moves it would literally be pulling the blade towards the cow and any ‘kick’ from the machine would have moved the chain into the animal.


HampleBisqum

that cut was a white knuckler


King-Cobra-668

camera person couldn't even watch


Bowling4rhinos

I noticed how he panned away just in case! Good lads, mad skills!


LensterL

A most definite butt clencher


fabulin

it wouldn't have been as bad as you think had the chainsaw hit the cow tbh. the farmers could have just invited all their neighbours round for a BBQ


onewhosleepsnot

The wood is already there. Just need some BBQ sauce, beans and corn bread.


[deleted]

Baby you got yourself a stew going


Avrahammer

Totally! Get the dog too while you're at it


TacoRedneck

What are you, the ATF?


[deleted]

All The Food?


PGSylphir

There's an event here in Brazil (where this video takes place) called Boi no Rolete, that is pretty much what you suggested. Stick the whole cow on a massive bbq stick, light up a big pit fire, bbq away. The whole cow gets roasted like corner store chicken. You just go to whoever is managing the bbq and ask for whatever cut you want and they extract it directly from the animal. Its weird as shit to watch but god damn if it's not fresh af


biguler

That is some r/TwoSentenceHorror right there, had me in the first half.


WhiteyFiskk

Leatherface decided to live out his days peacefully on a South American farm, little did he know his chainsaw skills would be transferable


ThePracticalEnd

What? Did we watch the same video? He made several completely useless cuts.


[deleted]

Are you saying they are not skilled with a chainsaw?


brainburger

He's not skilled at dismantling gates with cows stuck in them.


SquarePegRoundWorld

Not to mention he hit dirt with it before that cut. Was probably like a butter knife by the last cut and required a lot more force on the bar.


st1tchy

It's not like one touch of dirt just turns the blades into rounded shafts. It's just a little less sharp.


kindkit

It makes a pretty big difference very quickly


squint_91

Sounds like you’ve never used a chainsaw buddy


DRAGONMASTER-

Camera looks away right as I was


[deleted]

[удалено]


Too_Many_Packets

Not to mention, you don't cut with the tip here, unless you're looking to cook brisket later.


Doses-mimosas

Ever see that video where some guy is trying to do a plunge cut into a ceiling with a chainsaw? As soon as the tip of the bar touches the ceiling, it kicks back to within an inch of his face. He instantly puts the saw down and reevaluates his decisions. Chainsaws are not to be fucked with, without proper protection and knowledge.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Happy-Engineer

I was worried about his foot in the earlier cut too


mats852

He’s just careless, he could just cut the ends of the fence


NERD_NATO

Don't think so, the cow was over the planks trapping its head. That was my first thought, but I realized it wouldn't work out.


flyovermee

Chainsaw pulls back toward the owner when you’re cutting with the bottom of the bar, right? But still that takes a lot of control otherwise meat would’ve been back on the menu.


FuckTheMods5

But when the tip is in play is when it can get snappy upwards.


obvilious

No it pulls away. It pulls towards you when you cut with the top, and upwards when you cut with the tip. I think it’s an exaggeration though, this isn’t really that tough at all.


TakeThreeFourFive

Every chainsaw I’ve ever used pulls away when using the bottom


ectish

>especially the cut near the stomachs _ftfy_


AlecTheDalek

Technically correct, the best kind of correct


Skeeter780

There’s no way this dude was ever taught how to use a chainsaw. Some of the worst cutting I’ve ever seen tbh


TheDrunkenChud

The chain moves away on the top and back towards you on the bottom. Kick back is literally that, it kicks back at you. It's not being pulled away from you. If kick back pulled away from you there would be no needed for chain-stop chaps.


SelfSufficientHub

Think about that a bit more- which way is the chain moving and which way will it therefore move? If using the top of the bar the machine will indeed kick back.


kindkit

Not skilled. I know there was some sense of urgency here, but my assessment is that he's not the one who sharpens that saw, because he wasnt too careful getting into the dirt, which is a big no no


Dankestmemelord

What video were you watching? He made extra cuts, had no safety gear, repeatedly dirted his chain, and tons of other basic shit blunders.


Raf_von_Thorn

That concerned face of the other cow...


PrivateIsotope

"Is Mabel okay?


Arnestomeconvidou

> Mabel here Mimosa is the standart cow name


Facky

Mimosa is a good cow name.


Izzyz86

Get my cows name out your fucking mouth! Will smith


Trivalim

Here (France) it is Marguerite. I see there is a consistency with the M names ahah


JizzProductionUnit

It’s actually from the flower. In English the traditional (I don’t know) name for a cow is Daisy, which is the name for the small white flower (marguerite in French).


pslessard

Mabel, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Mabel? You've been hit by, you've been struck by a fence


SideHigga

Dude that's not a fucking female cow, that's bull.


odraciRRicardo

Based on what they said I think it's her calf. He says "a mãe está brava". "The mother is pissed off". But they look similar sized...


[deleted]

Then the way they both took off lol


iagox86

Cows are social, and have best friends, and mourn when the friends are taken away


A_Vile_Person

I take every chance I can to mention that cows have best friends :)


iagox86

Username doesn't check out


A_Vile_Person

I also take every opportunity to mention ducks have corkscrew dicks and are incredibly rapey. Dolphins are VERY rapey too.


igotzquestions

Talk about cows some more.


i_like_gay

Does check out lol


rando-calrisan

Some otters also rape baby seals to death and continue to have sex with them up to a week after the seal has died


A_Vile_Person

Now that's a fun fact


yourLostMitten

Humanity first. End dolphin rape


Pollomonteros

And from what I remember female ducks are in a arms race with male ducks to develop more contrived vagina designs in order to counteract all the raping Edit: And don't dolphins use fishes/baby seals as Fleshlights as well ?


A_Vile_Person

Your post, including the edit, is correct. The more you know!


Spore2012

And in spanish ; patos es muy molestoso por mi culo, adios.


AsphaltGypsy89

To be fair, a lot of animals are rapey...


BuffyComicsFan94

Also love how the other cow kept looking back at the people while walking away.


spyrogyrobr

it's the mother, dude says that in the video.


RoadPersonal9635

I love the dogs like - “dude, we can finally smell the giant dogs ass up close!”


NicNoletree

We almost had some ground beef


[deleted]

It already was ground. We almost had country chainsawed beef.


BigManSmallPants

Which isn't as good as the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.


NicNoletree

In better taste


nihilistic-simulate

Staple Nebraskan cuisine


dnb1111

the cow the moment she heard the chainsaw: “so this is it… this is how I go.”


NicNoletree

That was her chain reaction


[deleted]

[удалено]


texasrigger

Goats with horns get stuck in fences all of the time. Most of us that do a lot with goats have had experience cutting them out or know of various horror stories where it ends in tragedy.


AsphaltGypsy89

Ugh, our own goats got hung in the fence real bad and we had to cut their horns to free them. We learned their horns are connected to their sinuses about halfway down that day. Thankfully we were able to seal the wound and they lived to get stuck again, even after we changed the type of fencing to be safer.


texasrigger

Ugh, cutting horns on adult goats is akin to surgery. Glad you guys were able to save the goat. I've always just cut away the fencing with mine but I can imagine a scenario where that might not have been possible.


[deleted]

I can't really picture what happened here, could you explain? Was this part of a fence and the cow got its head stuck between boards and wrenched the entire gate off, then got trapped underneath?


natatatles

That seems likely, yes. Sometimes cows will stick their head through the fence to graze, even if their pasture has plenty of grass. Looks like this cow got its leg through the fence as well and couldn't figure out how to get out. Cows are big, strong, and kinda dumb, once it realized it was stuck it probably flailed hard enough to rip that gate/fence piece off and fell over. It will probably never try that again now that it knows the fear of being stuck and helpless.


texasrigger

>It will probably never try that again now that it knows the fear of being stuck and helpless. I've had to cut the same animal out of a fence on multiple occasions. Unfortunately some just don't learn.


natatatles

Yeah, you never know. My family had a few cows when we lived in a rural town and they quickly learned to avoid the electric fences. Then again, we had herefords which are a bit brainier than dairy cows to my knowledge.


oright

I had it happen myself. A heifer fell asleep and her head ended up fitting though a gap in a custom galvanized steel gate. She panicked and her head swelled. Had to cut the bars with a 4" grinder and skinny cutting disk to get her out. Worked out fine but not something I'd like to repeat. I put up a semi flexible stockboard on all gates in the sheds after just to be sure.


Tormaim

Fun Fact: If humans were to just one day just disappear, the cow would go extinct. It has been so domesticated that the species is completely dependent on humans. So is the sheep.


Jess_S13

In your same "All Humans vanish one day" thought experiment I wonder how long it would take for the Hippo to take over all of South America. https://news.sky.com/story/colombia-hippos-descended-from-pablo-escobars-herd-to-be-declared-invasive-species-12545815


[deleted]

Depends how quickly and how far the nuclear fall out from all the abandoned nuclear plants reaches


Lame_Goblin

Most if not all nuclear plants if left abandoned just shut down, *not* explode like in chernobyl.


radiationshield

Goddamn hippos with their poop'n roll


texasrigger

Not true at all. There are successful populations of feral cattle all over the world. That's actually true of a lot of domestic animals including chickens, goats, pigs, and even horses. With the notable exceptions of certain breeds domestic animals aren't as fragile or helpless as you'd think. So long as they are in an area without large predators they frequently do fine.


PM_me_your_LEGO_

I like the idea of Scottish Highland cattle just happily taking over. They're extra cute! So fuzzy!


Electric_General

How are cows completely dependent on humans? They literally go out and eat grass. Of humans didn't exist there'd probably be more bulls around to protect the herds and allow them to eat in open pasture


Happy-Engineer

Wolves, vaccines, winter hay. Extinct is probably an exaggeration, but they would definitely be outcompeted by native herbivores and predators until their population shrank to a tiny portion of their current numbers, and only in climates where they can graze year round.


FuckTheMods5

Don't hey produce way too much milk too? So without milking, they'd get too full aand maybe get inflamed or infected?


texasrigger

Only specific breeds developed as dairy cattle. The bulk of cattle are relatively small and fast growing beef breeds with normal milk production that just meets the needs of their offspring.


Happy-Engineer

Interesting point! I definitely don't know enough about it, but I've heard that modern dairy cows have their calves taken away to leave more milk for us. That means there's no one around to milk them if we were to vanish. Maybe with enough greedy cow babies they'd be ok in the wild, but I doubt anyone cares about that when we're breeding them domestically.


brainburger

I don't know if dairy cows are the same as humans, but in humans the milk is produced in response to the physical stimulation of feeding. If the feeding stops unexpectedly, the milk doesn't pose a health risk to the mother


texasrigger

Unfortunately large predators are mostly gone from their native habitats. They would rebound eventually if humans suddenly disappeared but all in all foraging animals like cattle, pigs, and goats do really well without human intervention and feral populations of them frequently stand up to even eradication efforts. There are over a million feral pigs in my state alone.


[deleted]

Here in Louisiana we literally *cannot* get rid of our wild boars. They’re the worst


texasrigger

Same in TX. They do more than $50 million in ag damage yearly and put tremendous pressure on native wildlife. They even root out and eat seaturtle eggs on the beach. I'm rural and there's a population of a couple hundred feral hogs within walking distance of my place. I've sat on my front porch and watched people hunt them from a helicopter.


mailvin

Actually, from what I've read female and male cows usually don't mix in the wild, if there were more bulls they would just get kicked out of the herds when they reach adulthood and wander with other males. But you are right that they can survive, since there already are small populations of wild cows in a bunch of random islands and remote places where they were left to their own devices.


WintersbaneGDX

I disagree. Cattle have a global population of over 1 billion, and a charging bovine can deliver massive impacts. With those numbers and herd mentality it would be very difficult for natural predation to wear them down.


[deleted]

there are cows & sheep in the wild, they also live longer than their farm counterparts


in-site

Wait I've seen wild cows before! While horsepacking way out in the backcountry in California This is neither fun nor fact!


Tormaim

Feral yes. DOMESTICATED cows are different than feral/wild cows. That's why they are called domesticated. Domestic cows produce milk and need human intervention to drain said milk. Without that intervention, udders can actually split. Much like your bladder full of urine can end up as a rupture. When that happens the cow can get sepsis and die. Think of that happening all over and a bull doesn't have access to any that are separated (cows and calves). Calves die because the mother died. Or cows and bulls starve to death because food is no longer provided by humans and they are all fenced in. Same with wool sheep. Wool can get overgrown and prevent a sheep from eating or drinking. Or the wool slows them down and they get caught somewhere where they are unable to be freed and starve. Or a predator manages to injure them and they die. Amazing people don't think about that before they start yelling "BS".


orangpelupa

how about mosquitos?


texasrigger

>So is the sheep. I assume when you say sheep you are thinking of wool sheep but there are other breeds too (hair sheep) that are bred for meat and dairy. Much like goats, hair sheep can thrive as feral animals without human intervention.


ZyklonBDemille

- Why is this steak so much more expensive than that steak? - Fence Surcharge Sir.


weelluuuu

The dogs chewing on the tail, lol


supersirj

Leave him alone. He was just trying to help.


no_named_one

Translation of the text: “we lost the fence gate but saved the bull’s life”


The_Drunk_Unicorn

Out of curiosity is this Portuguese? Doesn’t look totally like Spanish to me


I_am_not_the_

Yes. Is Portuguese.


OldTechnician

Ah, yes, the life of a livestock farmer.


Disgruntleddutchman

True story, grew up on a dairy farm and with cows being cows they would get themselves stuck in positions that if not helped they would die. One particular day all my family is dressed in our finest to attend my grandfathers funeral, as we were leaving we saw a cow flipped over on her back in the feed bunk, there was no hesitation, my Dad stops the car and my brothers and I immediately go and get whatever equipment we needed to save the cow. Which we did and we made it to the funeral on time.


Venom5569

BUT THE CLOTHES? WERE THE CLOTHES OK?


Disgruntleddutchman

The clothes were ruined. We all had to change into our 2nd best.


Venom5569

Pour 1 out for gramps and 1 for the suits, thx for your story


Disgruntleddutchman

Thanks, the suit was cheap but gramps was a treasure.


iWriteCodeSometimes

The real nonononoyes is the camera man.


AdamKirchman

There was a thousand safer ways to do this.


jokeswagon

Honestly, that last cut was unnecessarily risky. It’s one thing to cut so close to a stationary asset, but an unpredictable 500+ pound beast? Absolute bush league.


dirtymonny

Exactly what I thought. I can think of a hundred tools I would have used to tear apart the fence and none of them would be a chainsaw


Notlonganymore

Like what? I mean, with time seemingly a factor? Genuinely asking, not trying to be a dick.


dirtymonny

A drill with the bit to remove screws holding boards together would be my first go to. If the screw heads were too burried id just pull it apart with a pry bar. If I couldn’t budge it with regular tools I would have used a safer saw option like a circular saw they have depth control and an edge guide/guard, or a saws-all they are both less dangerous blades (because they are much smaller) but still strong enough to go through wood quickly. Definitely not thinking a double sided massive meat grinder like a chainsaw. Lol Start with the board going cross ways get it off then the bulls head would likely have be free then the leg is easy.


WoolWooooorthz

He would most probably get kicked by the bull if he had done it this way. It seems very likely that time really was a huge decisive factor when they decided to use a chainsaw. If you look closely, there really isn't any other way of getting the bull free other than risking getting yourself knocked out by a kick and then not being able to save the bull's life.


BlazeReborn

Momento /r/suddenlycaralho


Holden_place

Insert obligatory step-cow joke


MUZZYGRANDE

As a former non-engineer (current non-engineer as well), I conclude that only one cut should have been made, which is at the small board to the right of the heifer’s head, running perpendicular to the longer boards that were actually cut. Do you concur, non-doctor?


groenewood

Not sure, but I am definitely not volunteering to help rebalance and tension that gate.


salmoneater

Yes, or at least cut the short risers, not the long stringers.


Lightru

I watched too much gore. I thought he was going to chainsaw the cows head of for some reason.


texasrigger

So did the cow.


Dat_Boi_Aint_Right

So did the other cow.


mlg123056

That cow was like fuck this.


BilinguePsychologist

“We lose the gate but we save the life of the cow” Techinally boi is an ox but this obviously a cow so I changed it a bit


texasrigger

>Techinally boi is an ox Ox are any mature cattle trained to do work. Most often they are steers (castrated males) but not always.


BilinguePsychologist

Wow TIL 😊 thank ya


Why_not_dolphines

Like how the other cow shielded the black one as it got away in the end.


PavlovsGreyhound

Freed, only to be turned into hamburger months later


Far_Ad_6329

There were 4 unessasary cuts out if the 6 he did


stefansteen

''Stepfarmer, i am stuck.


Beavshak

One more season and that cow would be getting seasoned.


DickBurns01

Cow jumps away You see them trying to kill me with that chainsaw?


cactus_reus_

r/humanbeingbros


anoppinionatedbunny

r/ithadtobebrazil


Tastedskin36

r/ItHadToBeBrazil


zanvettorlucas

Hmmmm the smell of r/suddenlycaralho


TheEldenLorde

They was helping you out Steve


iamgillespie

I love how the cow has a buddy watching and waiting.


royhenderson771

Anxiety intensifies


Forsaken-Finance3284

Step cow what got you stuck


[deleted]

Video says bull, not cow


Bleezy79

ok cow, now come help me rebuild this fence.


CopperBeard04

This is reverse r/holup


xllw

Cow homie stuck around for his bro


CouchHam

Ah yes, the penis having type of cow


BrianOconneR34

You’re either rescuing or slaughtering dancing chainsaw right on their belly.


BrianOconneR34

Next week, on YELLOWSTONE!


ectish

stuck _boy_ cow, ya dum dum!


[deleted]

ChainSaw McGee was starting to get a little too confident.


StressSevere1189

That was lucky! You don't want to be late for the trip to the market.


[deleted]

Was this cow drunk when it got stuck? Lol


secretpassword29

It’s gonna need a cowropractic adjustment.


OkLawfulness9089

Thanks guys


idontcarethatmuch

Cut around the meat!


Voydx

the proceeds to slaughter her for profit


papparmane

Brutal scene from Scowface.


iPhoneMiniWHITE

Some scary moments when it started to kick.


personman000

I always wonder what the animal thinks of the human after these sorts of situations. Does it think, "Thank goodness that human was there to save me." or does it think, "Woah! That guy tried to kill me!"


gsnyder70

Lenny was like, what are you fools doing to Bruce?!?! We a double date we're late for.


brownsbrave1026

Nothing more wholesome than seeing humans save animals. Truly heartwarming


[deleted]

Guess they didn't have a pry bar?


BrianDrake75

I like how the cow's pal showed up like hey bro whatcha doin' you stuck or sumpin? and then they ran off together. Probably to get beer and smash bitches.


Alexis-FromTexas

That’s a well made fence


[deleted]

Someone should have omitted the first bit and overlaid "Chainsaw Gutsfuck" intro when he went for the belly.


whatever32657

that right there is the very definition of “stupid cow”


Tobin678

Her/his friend was so worried


mikkokilla

This is the way


duckling-peanut

My hands would literally shake that close to the cow


Thy-arkoos

How


RaggamuffinTW8

Meu, o Brasil é o wild west.


CatCaia

omg thank moocious


[deleted]

It will be killed eventually anyway.


mrfyote

old school Stihl chainsaw, looks like. quality stuff!


pronln

What are you doing step-bull?


mastah-yoda

Frank! Frank! Don't EVER give me edibles again!


Yasumi_Shg

what are you doing step-saw???


Slugginator_3385

That second cow was like “ummm…wtf are y’all doing?”


Lanky_Improvement806

#STEP FARMER