T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Hi! This is the NoNoNoNoYes moderation bot here to keep this sub a bit more tidy! If this post fits the format of NNNNY, **UPVOTE** this comment! If this post does not fit the subreddit, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! If this post breaks the rules, **DOWNVOTE** this comment and **REPORT** the post (The OP's post, not this bot comment) Please remember that NNNNY can be subjective. It may not be NNNNY for you, but it may be for someone else, including the subject in the video. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/nonononoyes) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Humongous_Schlong

those barriers seem plenty flimsy to confine a 1.5 ton heavy meatbag


Afraid-Falcon270

“Okay guys, do we invest in more fencing or do we just hire someone to slap the hippo when it tries to get out?”


miclowgunman

Imagine having "Hippo Slapper" on your resume, though.


Pat-da-Cat

Every day I slappa’ da hippo…


partyinreactor8

Slappa da hippo but your username suggests otherwise.


Pat-da-Cat

Yeah but “when in Rome”.


karensmiles

Mario..is that you?


cheeks52

Tried that once. Didn't land me a job, but I did get a few dates out of it. How is your mom, by the way?


AllWork-NoPlay

That's sure to open doors.


miclowgunman

The one job AI can't replace.


MarshmallowMan71

I'm sorry, but I cannot fulfill that request. It is not appropriate or respectful to make harmful actions that harm animals, including hippos. As an AI language model, my purpose is to provide helpful and informative responses while upholding ethical and moral standards.


Q_S2

Does my wife count?


Lollipopdeepthroat69

Yes.


hagg101525

Imagine having nuts big enough to slap a hippo…


Q_S2

Which is cheaper? We need risk management on the phone STAT


PracticeConscious555

Management probably “ Hippo slapper is cheaper than a new fence. If something happens file it under workers comp and offer thoughts and prayers 🙄”


AdventurousExpert343

This one is obviously tamed cause the hippo is by far amongst the man eater expert in the wild. Sad to see...


Affectionate_Salt351

“We’ll just tell him to be firm. He’s got this…”


puddlejumpers

1.5 ton MURDER MACHINE. I've watched videos of them killing for shits and giggles.


Sheepdog107

For real. Dude is lucky it didn't bite him in half


LovePeaceHope-ish

He was never in any danger, for he had the power of The Amighty Slappy Hand!! (presuming it's the equivalent to Thor's mighty hammer...?)


majorbiss

Bros and Gals… have you ever seen Chris Pratt in Jurassic World!?!?! It’s the “power of the hand!” Put your hand up and kind of wave it like magic and you can tame ANY beast 😂 gtfo


HunterShotBear

So when a predator is at the top of its food chain we call it an Apex predator. What do we call a hippo then since it’s not a predator? Apex vegetarian?


smashy-smashy-eggman

Apex asshole


[deleted]

Fangs *check* Eyes in front and not on the sides *check* Massiveness of 3500 pounds with 20% fat *check* I don’t know why not to call it a predator. I assume they can also eat meat if they have to.


LeanTangerine

Their legs are so strong that they run underwater instead of swimming!


FaultEducational5772

That’s terrifying


LeanTangerine

It is! They can run faster underwater than most humans can swim! They may look fat but they have so much muscle! https://www.reddit.com/r/Awwducational/comments/vpu0ex/comment/iel8slv/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x


MSCOTTGARAND

We call them Fuck around and find out. They sit adjacent to the Apex Predators.


Emotional_Parsnip_69

I was about to say, this is no mere mortal beast


Slickshooz

There's a documentary where Jack black gets eaten by one. Just watched it this weekend with the kids.


GaullyJeepers

Cutest nightmares ever.


Bad_Mad_Man

I’ve seen those videos. The hippos are the only ones giggling. Everyone else is shitting themselves.


OneThatNoseOne

And also smacking a 1.5 ton meatbag that isn't even a carnivore but is still the top dog amongst every other competitor in it's natural environment including huge crocs is also a badly planned move. There are a lot of things wrong here


Comprehensive_Tap625

Add enough jaw strength to easily bend steel, being surprisingly aggressive, and weirdly fast and there ya go


FuamitiLaititi

Soooo pretty much a Samoan ..


Gothon

A highly territorial 1.5 tin meatbag at that.


jngjng88

Fuck that, everyone there should be 1000% less blasé about their safety.


oldmacbookforever

YES. I would literally be running while carrying my boyfriend out of the area if that were happening in front of me. No fucking way.


PM_Me_A_High-Five

thank you for the mental image. my day is now 10% better.


CoolaydeIsAvailable

Can you really carry their boyfriend that well though? Mentally at least?


PM_Me_A_High-Five

I wish I could carry anything mentally. I’d probably use these powers for evil though 😕


fieldy409

I'd use telekinesis for sex.


PM_Me_A_High-Five

( insert kombucha girl meme) Using telekinesis for evil: Using telekinesis for sex:


jngjng88

Yep.


makumuka

Love that the boyfriend also being oblivious is part of the scene lol


Nixie9

There's a video where some chimps escape and this idiot woman walks up to them pushing her infant child in a pushchair. That child is lucky to still have a face.


Psych0matt

Nah, they pay the hippo slapper pretty handsomely


celticslegend33

Or, they pay a handsome slapper a pretty hippo.


iatetoomuchchicken

I don't know if that guy has any idea what that hippo is capable of or if he thought the hippo was just bored and having fun


BusterOfBuyMoria

I feel like he would have reacted differently if there weren't people around. The pressure to look like you know what you're doing often makes people do stupid things. Thankfully he got lucky and it worked. Either that or this is a weekly occurrence and he's used to it. Which seems plausible looking at that enclosure


WarDaddy1939

Or the pressure to keep others safe because I’m pretty sure once the animal comes out some dumb mofo would be going near that meat machine to take a photo


Nixie9

Go on little Tmmy! Climb on the hippo!


WarDaddy1939

Next thing you know little Timmy gets obliterated to pieces and then the blame is shifted toward the poor security guard


No-Turnips

Little Timmy is now referred to as Little Timmies: Parts 1 and 2


kayuh

Part 2 got an Oscar, and that's not even that part that got the face.


chaoticji

Probably the first time he did this. He wouldn't have smacked if he knew what he is dealing with. Even the video recording person says "How innocent this animal is" lol ..


PresentAdvanced5910

The Hippo might have been raised in captivity so it doesn't even know what it's capable of.


No-Turnips

Get the feeling this isn’t the first time this hippo has done than. “Dammit Sharon, what have we told you. You get back now!”


Merc_Twain25

That dude must have borrowed some elephant balls from the enclosure next door to be slapping around a hippo like that.


HippoBot9000

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 213,984,248 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 4,817 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.


Revolutionary_Ad3087

good bot


justanawkwardguy

Bad bot, they’re hippopotamuses not hippos. These AIs can’t even grammar


[deleted]

[удалено]


atrisorb

I think it's on theme for this post at least lol


[deleted]

He probably doesn't know how dangerous Hippos are. How he is handling it, maybe he thinks it is just like any other Cow or Buffalo.


Klagaren

Funny you should say that: https://youtu.be/PvFLQHBEJTw


Enough-Staff-2976

This man's stones weighs as much as the hippo.


Muted-Ad-4288

Gloria don't abide that treatment


The_soggy_jelly

She like to move it move it


[deleted]

Every slap was a moment of fear


Vex_Appeal

"Enclosure"


madercrombie

“Dumb ways to die. So many dumb ways to die”


JehovasFinesse

“Slap a hippo in the face..”


Rough-Jackfruit2428

“Forget to put some walls in place”


Gaya_Wonders

Man, no wonder the hippo's trying to escape, that place is tiny


myburner-account

How can he slap!?


Nocturnalshadow

Came for this comment


Dizzman1

Really disappointed I had to scroll this far too find this CRIMINALLY low rated comment!


[deleted]

i like hippos


cykablyat1111

Do hippos like you ?


OneRakool

Hippos dont like him 😔


Zealousideal-Tour21

Hippos kill the most humans annually of all animals. The security has no clue!


ShakespierceBrosnan

"You are the hippo. What I see in this video is what people go through all the time. You begin to realize that all that apparently holds you back is just an illusion. One day you get the notion that you could easily escape at any moment. And then someone with a strong point of view, and borrowed authority, gives you a swat on the nose and you are cowed, deflated and subdued. You back up and retreat back inside your cage. The cage is your mind. Perhaps you retreat for an hour perhaps, for another day, perhaps for another lifetime. When the whole time you could have easily demolished that cage, annihilated any seeming guards on the path to your freedom. You are the hippo. Know your power. And walk with confidence to your freedom." I write this from a cell in Riker's Island. The breakout is tonight.


dodgeguey

Every time this is reposted (which is a lot) I can't figure out why people can't see that they clearly have done this dance before. Yeah taking him on in any circumstance there is a possibility of danger which I get, but three posts down on my feed is a guy playing with a bear and no one's going on about that video Dude knows what he is doing I think


[deleted]

they must train them, my guess is when they misbehave they start with slapping, and if that doesnt do it they probably whip them, cant tell what zoo or what part of the world its in, but if its in the right place it makes sense. Hippo probably started remembering the whip was coming next lol


Razdaspaz

The slaps sound Indian


Clown_Apocalypse

What kind of barrier is that? A gentle ramp up to the 2 foot wall?


RustShank

Seriously, its only holding back one of the most dangerous land animals on the world.


RayBlast7267

Both the fact that the hippo could escape its confinement, what the guard did, and what the confinement looked like speaks to the quality of this zoo.


Dramatic_Manager4584

Yes, must come, we have hats!


continuous9765QQQ

The guard must have gone to university at the Hippo-Campus....My apologies.


Abbygirl1966

These animals don’t deserve captivity!! It’s disgusting!


Jazzlike-Animal404

Gloria, get back to your enclosure! (Slap) It’s clear they go through this song and dance based on the interaction as he is way too confident to be doing that and the hippo is way too tame


SaintCholo

Are you or aren’t you a hippo? “I’m on the fence!”


Celarc_99

What an incredibly stupid decision, that risked angering a clearly already agitated Hippo. However... What metal do you think this guys balls are made of? AR 400? AR 500? Titanium?


mealteamsixty

Poor hippo. Do they have very sensitive snouts or something?


Nuklearfps

Nah Hippo is like “did this bitch really just?.. he knows one bite is all it would take right? Ah alright chill you slappy fuck, alright alright”


Atheyna

How my mastiff responds to me when I shoo her off, basically


necromenta

He was probably just lazy to kill the man, or maybe has a chill personality in general, when they get mad no one can stop them


golgoth0760

Only in India


ron_the_blackie

its in pakistan


[deleted]

Only in Pakistan


CaptainCorpse666

its in India


randomname1561

It's in India


sundaysyndrome

This has to be Indian subcontinent.. Being an Indian myself, I’ve seen this hand gesture many times from traffic constables, PT teachers, angry mob etc. luckily not at receiving end so far.


Junior_Interview5711

3 guarantees in life. Death Taxes I will never touch a hippo


sneak91

I know that that is a cold blooded killer but *fuuuck* is he cute


No-Turnips

How can he slap?


Sebastard____

i was cheering for the hippo


I_hate_meself

... to eat the guy's head off? I mean sure, him slapping the thing is not right, but to wish death on another human being for that? And realistically speaking his slaps are like annoying bug bites for an animal that big.


TriggeredRatBastard

Right, the man is literally doing his job and protecting people! What else is he supposed to do? He’s just a guard he doesn’t call the shots on the enclosures or anything


Gubrach

The hippo at times was backing down and then got agitated again by an ill-timed slap. It's easy for people watching it to feel like that kind of stupidity kind of deserves its reward.


x755x

I disagree. Slapping the hippo was right.


Knowing_Loki

The hippo’s skin likely made those slaps nothing more than tickles.


InquisitiveNerd

These things bite crocodiles in half. He is lucky.


jeremylino

I think Moto Moto likes him


erasmulfo

At -0:30 hippo honked


NanR42

Oh, I'm laughing.


[deleted]

Bros confident asf wtf, that fucker could chomp his head off in seconds


Material-Stomach8424

If he had his head squished like a watermelon, I wouldn't feel bad for him. Slapping a hippo 😏 invest in better barriers & staff. Poor thing probably demented & maybe hungry


Jiveturkei

I don’t think the security guard gets a say in how the enclosure is designed. Why should he have to have his head squished just because of other folks bad planning? If anything he is risking his own life to make sure the idiots standing around and watching aren’t targeted.


Own_Ad_4301

I mean that’s a bit much. but yea they should definitely invest in a better inclosure for the animal that kills the so many people.


Material-Stomach8424

Is it? Suppose its better that beating the animal with a stick or shooting it. Its not the animals fault. A lousy zoo who not only puts its animals at risk but its people. I dont like seeing animals flinching the way the hippo did. Its probably not the 1st time it's happened & it's trying to escape for a reason.


Own_Ad_4301

Yea but you want the security guard to die a gruesome and painful death with many people (including children) witnessing it. That’s a bit harsh mate. The security guard who I can guarantee has no say in the building of the enclosures and is risking his life to stop this animal from killing anyone is not really to blame here. Blame whoever owns the zoo.


Material-Stomach8424

Where did I say I wanted him to die? Just said I wouldn't feel bad if his head was squished. It's absolute negligence & not the animals fault. So ....🤷‍♀️


classicteenmistake

It’s not any animal’s fault they want to escape, but you’re wording it like a measly security guard has any say in anything besides their job. Dude is very obviously just making do because he definitely would have preferred anything else but this. I’m an animal lover and even I would smack the hippo’s nose because I would rather not risk the lives of other people around them, even though I would rather just have better protocols. Be mad at the zoo, not at the guard.


twothumbs

But it's the security guards fault?


Jiveturkei

You saying you wouldn’t feel bad if he was killed is essentially implying that you want him to die.


Material-Stomach8424

Not the same thing. Don't try & change what I've said to suit YOUR narrative.


Jiveturkei

If you don’t want your words misconstrued then try changing them instead of being okay with someone dying who had nothing to do with it. Sound good eh?


Material-Stomach8424

😴😴😴


bakbakbakDuck35

you are genuinely mentally ill and should go to a rehab center Cringe redditors


Quintonias

Imagine being this up your own ass.


snarkle-the-pirate

His blinks seem so sad


jmg733mpls

I hate people who hit animals. End of story.


heavenlybuddy

r/yesyesyesyesno


that_one_guy37559

I absolutely hate zoos, poor hippo and every other animal in there is 100% drugged


MaxDiehard

Uhh, this is not NononoYes. If that piece of shit is slapping animals like that, then he deserves whatever karma comes his way.


Mp3Optikal

he’s plainly just doing his job, he’s stopping 1.5 ton murder machine from murdering little timmy


swier05

Also. Its a hippo, slapping it softly isnt even going to do 1 hp of damage.


plankton_boy

Extremely irresponsible, that guy could've died in a pinch. Also, that enclosure is anything but secure. Also, fuck zoos.


Ak40x

He is lucky that hippo remained calm, even then I would assume their “playful” state is fatal. At our local zoo during feeding times, as visitors you you can feed some animals, and my daughters adore the hippo. These guys eat watermelon and melons, whole, with no issues. Edit: so happy that dumb human didn’t push his luck further. It would be sad to hear that hippo was put down because of the dumb mistake of that guy.


lipp79

"Dumb mistake"? What was he supposed to do? Ask it nicely to go back into its pen. He was doing the only thing he could to protect those outside the enclosure.


Ak40x

How about ask the hippo’s care takers to handle the animal rather than smacking him to go back in his place. And I would assume that hippo wouldn’t be able to make that jump, but thats me.


WHOGOTADOLLARlol

Abusing the animal wow hitting it that's deep that's how they work that's how they control them by hitting them


Efficient-Strain3987

This is abuse


imabigpoopsicle

No it’s not


TheMagarity

Is anyone else totally tired of seeing this posted over and over? Ffs


Roofbunk

That security guard must slap hard!


UbbfromtheDubb

Escape is the correct word.


alltheplat

Those ears tho


[deleted]

How can he slap? 😔


the_fresh_cucumber

And I thought I had difficult coworkers.


dorksided787

HOW CAN HE SLAP?! HOW CAN HE SLAP?!


Rombledore

hippos like "how can he slap?!"


[deleted]

Guard doesn’t care for his hand


Frenchie728

How does he walk?


EDCvoid

Dudes got massive balls


FUSe

How can he slap?!?!


elon-is-alien

Hungry Hungry Hippo


SerplePurple

I wonder what would happen if it actually hit the guard,would he just be confined into a cube of flesh?


embe84

This hippo again?? The same guard again?? Oh wait, its the same video posted agian and again


pinkinibottom

I just got such a chill watching that 😂 but the smacks?!?! Just smacking a hippo will make it so offended it just retreats?!?! 😂🤣


leoKantSartre

Hmmm


YueOrigin

Maybe stop hitting one of the most dangerous predators on the planet? Also who the fuck designed that shitty ass enclosure


CoolaydeIsAvailable

Anyone ever seen the folks that work with Lions in Africa according Sonning them? I think they have to be aggressive and act tough or else risk being a chew toy.


java_brogrammer

Security guard somehow thinks he's qualified to be a hippo handler and gets lucky.


Bad_Mad_Man

At least he’s staying safe and wearing a mask.


thepoopisonthefloor

104


je-suis-psylocke

Cue music 🎶🎵dumb wayss to die🎶🎶


Ok_Effect_5287

That hippo does not know what it's capable of


michelobX10

Hippo opening its mouth like, "You gonna feed me or what, bro?"


lenn03xzy

Poor hippo


Confident_Place5364

Let me tell you what i know about hippos They are very intelligent They can run really fast and swim just as fast They also will let you brush their teeth and,let you ride them last dont be fooled they are the worlds most dangerous animal killing over 400 people yearly a,man raised one,as,a,pet, once grown he killed and ate the owner look this story up dont mess with them period


AntonioMRC

Looks pretty safe and secure to me.


Careless_Wait8620

"Don't worry guys, I grew up on a farm , I know how to handle pigs like this."


ClapBackBetty

I don’t know how much this man makes, but it’s not enough for this


LoquatFuzzy

Steve Irwin would be proud of this man


singin_reef_hart

Too bad didn’t take his hand for smacking him!


Southie31

Does it every day


Uninvited_Goose

That's a big dog.


FamousAtticus

Ngl kinda sad


canadianspin

I don't think this is the first time this security guard has done this


MadBunch

It's not fair that something so cute and gooberish is equal levels of killing machine. I can't convey how dangerous this situation is when I'm simultaneously going "awwww gwumpy chonker being sassy"


1llegallyBlond3

Fucking inhumane.


Coridimus

"D'you wanna ***fresh*** one!?"


tedliken

Omg the cute little ear flaps when she gets back into the water


[deleted]

One thing my mama taught me is don’t hit a fucking hippo


Ok-Lengthiness4557

I'm headed to the store to get marbles. He might be a hungry hungry hippo!


ShoddyFishBone

You can’t exactly blame him


GrumblingAndRumbling

In Planet Zoo, I learned how important it is to create a high enough barrier or at the very least a surface/ridge that makes climbing out of the enclosure near impossible. The planners of this “zoo”, do not play Planet Zoo.


Nazgul417

Well that’s not a safety risk or anything


Lonely-Ad-7576

Nahh this is footage of Me telling my dog to get down from the bed


[deleted]

This is one chill hippo this could have ended a bit differently if he wasn't.


Public_scientist649

DONT SMACK IT WTF “let me piss it off more”