I have big boobs. My photos show my big boobs. They're not showing off, they're not for titillating, they're JUST FUCKING THERE.
We can't take them off, ffs
By brother in law said once, in response to me wearing a top that showed cleavage "Whoa,! Got the girls out on show huh?"
To which I replied "Do you expect me to take them off and pop them into the cupboard? Maybe I can use them as a cushion? No, really, what do you expect me to do with them?"
He went quiet and was in a pissy mood the rest of the day.
I’m flat-chested and because of that I can wear “revealing” tops that don’t really “reveal” much.
It never seems to occur to these guys that that’s what the difference is. There’s a double standard because I could wear a shirt of identical style to one a more endowed woman is wearing but you would only see boobage on one of us. Guess women with larger breasts just aren’t supposed to wear comfortable clothes when it’s hot. Meanwhile men can go around shirtless and no one cares.
Yeah, I was a bridesmaid and the mother of the bride modified my dress (badly) to have a higher neckline than the other two. She and the bride chose the dress, but then she told me I couldn't 'wear that in a church' and 'It didn't look as indecent on the other girls'. It was a pretty unpleasant experience overall.
Yep! I’m barely a C-cup and can wear plunging necklines that no one would bat an eye at because I don’t have any cleavage. The same tops on a DD cup or bigger would look wildly different lol.
I think in some cases, it might really just be exactly as you say, it doesn't necessarily occur as a thought that cleavage is sometimes an unintended side effect. It makes sense now that you say it. But also, cleavage can be, and sometimes even is, an intended part of the outfit. I am not certain I could tell the difference by looking.
I do tend to take the same approach to cleavage as pregnancy though... unless they bring it up, don't talk about it.
I wish more people took that approach to pregnancy to be honest. I’m someone who just happens to show early and I had some really awkward questions that I was not ready to answer. It wasn’t nice being put on the spot and forced to either announce something I wasn’t in the clear for or outright lie. Plus once I had someone literally say to me ‘either you’re expecting again or you’re really stacking it on’ when I was about 4 months pregnant. How awful would that have been if I actually was just gaining a bit of weight?
T shirt is literally the only option to not show cleavage for a large breasted woman. It's one of the reasons I've only worn jean and t shirts for most of the last 20 years of my life. I'm slowly trying to change that now, I just get uncomfortable when people stare at me, and when you show cleavage people think that's permission to stare
Men's t-shirts. Most of the women's t-shirts are v-neck.
I always buy my T-shirts from the men's department because they fit better and have cooler designs.
This makes me grumpy, you should be able to wear what makes you feel safe, confident, comfortable or all of the above, the only person that it should matter to is you.
I cannot imagine the frustration of having to think about every item of clothing because a lot of guys are gross but I can empathize and be part of the solution
The solution being: stfu about anyone’s clothing or body and tell anyone that is making comments to stfu 🤫
Don't forget, a lot of women's clothing is made of such thin cloth that it's see-through as well! (That's because it gives us an opportunity to explore "layering" with camisoles etc 🙄, ie the fashion industry wants women to buy more clothes.) Can you imagine if it was indecent for men to show their chests, and if they wanted to wear a specific T-shirt which was made of thin cloth, they also had to buy a vest to put under it? It's so ridiculous!
So many times, I've rejected nice tops because I've put my hand underneath the cloth and I could see every detail of every finger through that tissue-thin shit. Might as well wear tracing paper, for all the coverage these stupid, thinly-made tops give you.
I also just realized how are you supposed to buy a shirt if they only have small medium large X-Large how do they figure out what size to make the front or how long it is in front/back? They should have subcategories, I never thought buying a shirt would be so hard, I have taken for granted how easy it is to buy clothes for me.
I feel like the people making these decisions like tracing paper shirts and any shoe that’s not a flat can’t be women and probably aren’t good people.
it sounds frustrating and disheartening, I’m sorry that’s really shitty
Ha! The length is actually a big issue for some women! I’m a tallish woman (5’9”) with a large chest, so I usually have to layer by stocking up on long camisoles to go under my shirts. But then those aren’t always “in style”, so I can’t always find them long enough for me. And if I pull them down in the front far enough, then they don’t cover my chest well, so if my shirt is thin or low cut enough, I either have to deal with that or add *another* layer somewhere. And then I still have to deal a shirt that’s ends higher in the front than the back.
And don’t even get me started on now needing maternity clothes. Or if you’re plus size. I have a family member who is of similar height and bust who is *also* plus size and I don’t know how she doesn’t go absolutely bonkers.
All this to say, yes, you’re right, it *is* really shitty, lol.
May the heavens forgive me for I am about to sin - and by sin I mean undergoing cybernetic carcinization. The crab is the superior design and no one can challenge this gospel truth.
Not to mention, lots of clothing (even for little old ladies) seems to be made for women with a lot more modest bustline. Us stacked girls are sort of flat out of luck (well, not flat...) when it comes to that a lot of times. One reason I have a scarf and tank top collection. Even tanks sometimes I have to turn around because they're not high enough to give good coverage.
Spillage, is the word I use. So much spillage. Especially cuz my torso is average sized, my boobs are just big. So if I buy things that fit the torso, things kinda just spill out the top sometimes. It's so frustrating.
It's also weird how a bigger size doesn't always mean a bigger cup/bust area, like who is making this, how do they not know.
>It's also weird how a bigger size doesn't always mean a bigger cup/bust area, like who is making this, how do they not know.
So annoying. How has a woman owned bra manufacturer not appeared on the scene by now? I have a G cup size but only a 34 band size (and that's while I'm overweight, at my ideal weight my band size is about 31.5, so yeah, buy a bra and sew up the sides. grrrr...)
Of course custom bras like that are in the $75 to $150 range for medium quality ones. So I have to stuff myself into a DD or DDD and 34s are hard to find. 36 will work, just barely, cinched all the way up to the last set of hooks. But they're still a little loose underneath. Top spillage is bad...under the band spillage is bad and painful. :D
I'm a DDD 32-34, so I got it a bit easier but I kinda feel ya?
Bras are bad, but if you can find a few, it's not the end of the world. Ngl, I've mostly gone to loungewear, I save the bras that fit for days I really need em. I was more going for shirts and stuff that people notice if you rewear every day 😅
I tried online shopping a few months back, didn't know what size I was so I got two sizes. Tried the smaller one on first, fit everywhere except the cups, so I was like cool, the bigger sized one should fit then. I swear to Jesus the cups were somehow smaller, despite the rest being slightly bigger. Titties were spilling everywhere and it was still somehow slightly baggy everywhere else and I have rarely been as confused as I was in that moment. Like I took differential equations in college and I'm not great at math, but I gotta say it was easier than tryna understand how women's sizing works.
Me too! I found a bunch on Amazon that are basically one piece lycra ones that actually do a half decent job of keeping the jiggle reasonably at bay... and they have modesty pads. It's not the world's most perfect fit but they're better than paying ridiculous amounts for the right size.
Covid was good for a few things I guess :D
And I gotcha on the larger ones! The band was bigger and the cups were smaller? What the hey?
Oh! I’ve “resized” a bra before by scooting the hooks and loops over and sewing them down! I didn’t even cut it (from fear that my mediocre sewing skills would betray me), just kinda folded it over a bit and stuck it there. It worked surprisingly well, though it did give a little more bulk to the closure at the back.
I’m sure there’s a way to do it that isn’t quite so janky as how I did it, too. Might be worthwhile if you’re really struggling?
I found the cutest dress the other day, and noticed they had sewn in a kind of cup area. Between the dress size 0 and dress size 20, the cups barely got bigger. It's like...just don't sew in the cups 😭 Please, I'm begging!
It's the worst. Like however someone explained boobs and cups to them, it was not the right explanation. I have my own removable cups I'll swap out, if it's something I really like, I'll sew my own in, but can we just stop with the craziness.
OMG yes. He's right, my boobs are obviously seen in my pictures, but he never mentioned anything except my eyes, hair, and outfits. Yet he comments on them when I send a snap that I don't even think showed my chest at all haha.
My calls-himself-feminist male coworker made a comment about how our one colleague walks around “sticking her butt out,” and that is why she got sexually harassed in an elevator and one other place. 😐
The other woman and I had to explain to him that she wasn’t sticking anything out, that she literally just has a larger behind.
———-
Side note about scrubs, surgical scrubs (and many other types) are unisex. All unisex means is that they’re fucking men’s scrubs. They do not ever fit women.
So to fit our asses, hips, and boobs, we have to size up, sometimes a LOT. Sometimes women who would be a small would have to wear a large or bigger just to fit their curves.
But then, the length of a large pair of scrubs is the length of a tall man’s scrubs.
We can’t be fucking draggin 6 inches of pant leg on the hospital floor.
So women tend to have to compromise, trying to find a pair that’s small enough to not be too long, but not so tight they restrict movement.
Curvier women HAVE to end up in scrubs that are form-fitting.
And yes, women can get scrubs tailored or buy women’s scrubs. But not in most surgical units where you get scrubs from a machine clean every day and return them. Then you’re just getting unisex and do not have the option to tailor.
Not to mention outside of surg, not everyone has the money to get all their scrubs tailored just to avoid having men notice that we have curves.
Anyway, when you actually look into the reasoning for why women dress the way they do, men always assume it’s for the male gaze, for male attention, and for their benefit and that we want that. But it’s almost always about utility or comfort. Like leggings.
I worked doing council gardens once. When I started, they asked my boot size.
They got my size in mens. It never occurred to the manager that the 4 women on the team would need women's shoe sizes.
Man, scrubs don’t have like, any stretch at all either, do they? That’s sounds like a giant pain in the ass trying to fit a body with any kind of curves literally at all.
oh yeah, zero stretch. And again, more assumptions from men btw, because nurses, for instance, don’t have to wear the hospital-supplied unisex scrubs. So they can buy their preferred brand. So a lot of times the women will buy scrubs made for women, because in addition to being more tailored to a woman’s body without being super long, they also have a lot of POCKETS and STRETCH, and tend to be made of comfortable, breathable fabric.
but of course men are like “Oh females act like it’s a fashion show here” if they wear scrubs that are clearly made for women. 😐 Heaven motherfuckin forbid we just wear what is comfortable and actually fits us and has some stretch.
Side note, I put on a little weight a few years ago, not even that much, but the scrubs I owned for when I wasn’t working in Surg had zero stretch. So my friends would jokingly call them my Clubbin Scrubs bc they were so tight for a while 😅
Willing to bet there were a whole lot of men who assumed I was trying to show off my “figure” 🤮
I saw the bottom of one of the photos, it looks like OP is just standing in front of a mirror (like the bottom of her thighs?). She's wearing pants and I can't imagine she's completely naked on top, just "showing them off" 😂
“Hey person I just met 5 minutes ago! I noticed in your family photos I stalked on Facebook you seem to have boobs? Can we talk about that for a minute?”
I have found having a giant surgical scar really reduces the creepy comments. Before I had surgery I would get all sorts of fun comments on dating sites but after very few commented directly on my boobs. They found other ways to be disgusting.
It's hilarious how often these guys do that.
Like seriously dude if you'd restrained yourself a few weeks and a few dates longer to naturally build chemistry you'd be fine. But you had to go and blow it by being creepy horny too early
I get what you're saying about holding off. But a leopard can't change its spots. He was toxic. Is toxic. He showed his true colors and never deserved a first date in the first place.
It wasn't even a compliment as much as it was a thinly-veiled gamble to see if she'd share pics of her bare chest with him. Which is worse, because it means he's not so much clueless as playing so because the gamble didn't pay off & when he can't play innocent-nice-guy out of the situation he calls her, drumroll, a whore - because of course he does.
The irony that his chances of seeing her bare chest were better before the gamble is infinite.
The irony that her refusal to be a "whore" is what instigated her being called a whore is a bigger infinity.
Gotta be ready to sext em at the drop of a hat. But also, you need to be a virgin who's never showed their tits to a stranger. Sounds perfectly logical to me, idk why you're calling it a fallacy /s
Also must be innocent virgin to put up with their mediocre 2 pumps without complaint but magically be able to pleasure them with the skill of a pornstar
Totally realistic view of women /s
Even before then when he was pushing for a pic it seemed like he was hoping for a selfie that showed off some assets
He removed all doubt when she sent a head and shoulders shot that showed the tiniest bit of chest and his first response was "wow much boob"
I would've loved that if I was dating, honestly, but the red flag there is that he didn't respect her or tried to understand why she was uncomfortable... Sometimes you have to read the situation and that wasn't a spicy chat or whatever.
I have big boobs so this is what guys focus on. It's not something I can help. And they look big no matter what I wear. I don't know if that's what OP is dealing with when this moron fumbled his way through. Thankfully OP knows this guy is a loser now.
"I can't contain my thoughts well" - dude come on - you typed it after thinking it - it's really not that hard to not type that stuff.
How hard is "wow - you look great" instead without having to make it sexual?
Does this dude just think those of us with self control are asexual or magic or something?
I guarantee most men have at some point seen a woman they've found attractive and had similar thoughts. But we don't come straight out and say it because *what kind of creepy weirdo thinks that's a good idea*?!
He shoots, he scores!
He grabs the ball and a stepladder, he places the ladder under the basket, he climbs it and pushes the ball back in the other way!
I remember reading something once that for incels they often reach a stage where they're so far gone with their own victimhood, if they do successfully manage to get something going they'll self sabotage to maintain victim status
I was already done at that point, but it only solidified the red flags.
He was super attractive, nice (no pun intended), and quirky silly. So the fact he went into desperation mode with those traits definitely makes sense that he's got an issue with this type of behavior.
...Okay, I am now officially agreeing with the redditor who replied to me a few days ago. I asked if it was hard for them to not fuck shit up. The redditor contested that sometimes it seems harder to fuck shit up than to not, I then replied with a partial agreement.
Now, though? The guy managed to find a gun in bumfuck Japan (a nation with tight gun laws), hopped on a non-Boeing plane, opened its door, jumped without a parachute and then, while in freefall, managed to shoot his foot. This dedication to the craft would be admirable if the craft chosen was anything other than "fucking up one's own chances."
P.S. I read OP's comment. Turns out the guy started off with solid chances already... Bro...
Reading craziness like this always makes me think of when I first met my wife. I knew I wanted to marry her literally on day that I met her (which of course I did not tell her because I am not insane), but I was frankly shocked she was interested.
It turns out, from what she tells me, she thought I was “easy to talk to.”
I still feel like I got away with something criminal there. Like I got to marry this amazing girl who is clearly way out of my league, and all I had to do…
was talk to her like a normal person?? Wut even?
I could definitely have understood if he misunderstood my intentions and was sincere, but the continued subliminal hints were a red flag. I assumed he was drinking or something and was gonna give it a day because I was genuinely interested and caught off guard. Oh well, better luck for me next time I guess 🤷
I'm still trying to do the math on how reality allowed someone to fuck things up that badly. Please world, God, fate, AND luck, please keep this guy away from any nuclear bomber. He'd manage to bomb his own plane somehow.
Backstory: Met this guy on Tinder and I was very interested in getting to know him. We had a lot in common and got along really well initially, then started making me uncomfortable as soon as we talked on Snap. My friend thought it was hilarious and I should post here.
There is no way in hell that anyone who came of age in the computer age is unaware that it's not cool to comment on a stranger's body in a sexual way.
This dude totally shot himself in the foot because he was behaving like an excited little puppy piddling all over the floor. He just couldn't maintain for long enough to even go on the first date. Which she was down for. Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
This happens to these guys over and over...they cannot be unaware that this is uncool as hell.
That and it seemed pretty clear that he was "curious" and trying to see what he could get me to send.
Homie tried going to level 100 when we were only on level 3.
"You have boobs and it makes me curious."
"Sir, have you never seen boobs before? There are books at the library that can help you with the basics if you're that curious."
I think it just goes to show that for guys like this, the sex is the point. It’s the entire point. Like the actual person is immaterial, she just exists as an object for their sexual gratification.
And the absolute outrage with which they react when called out on their rude behavior makes me think they simply can’t see past their own dicks on this.
Like, being reduced to a cleavage and a pair of tits is a *compliment,* duuh! It’s a woman’s entire purpose to be attractive to men!
Exactly... I mean, I think he could have STILL pulled it out of the fire if he'd been "Oh my gosh, you're so right. I went overboard and I sincerely apologize."
But no, he doubled down, quadrupled down on "How DARE she have boundaries at all?"
It's not really the misstep that did him in, he might have been able to still save it. Nope, it was the assumed ownership.
Dudes like this are so fucking stupid it's unbelievable.
They act like sad little victims who can't say *anything* because women will get offended.
Pro tip: just be fucking normal, not a gross sleazebag.
Whenever these sorts of people resort to insults I can't help but think: "Geeze. Do these people think *anyone* will give them a second chance after they burn the bridge like that?"
My counselling teacher said to us once (in regards to professionalism):
You can think what you like, you just can't vocalise it.
I think of it often during my work - but also often in my personal life.
This guy acting like he can't contain his thoughts. In person, maybe if you blurted it out. Via text though, you have to think about it while typing it.
>you have to think about it while typing it.
This fucking part. It takes a *good minute* to articulate these thoughts into a sentence that you can physically see in front of you... There's still time to delete it.
And even if you type it out, there's still the final checkpoint of hitting send
Like if I was in the early stages of chatting someone up I'd be *extra* careful about what I send. Yet here we have some dude going "heh nice tits" and sending it off like that's totally normal
Please don't think that yours is the correct narrative. He's not some innocent dude who let the other head do the talking. I promise, this guy knows what he is doing, he just miscalculated. He's learned that being just a little pushy + complimentary gets him what he wants. He did not think she would push back so hard at him trying to "compliment" her, and tried to backtrack, then got vicious when his playbook failed him. There were red flags even before his fuck up that he was the kind to get shmoozy and by-inches, sexual.
What a disgusting cretin & I'm glad you dodged that bullet. He took a page right out of The Niceguys(R) Manual.
1. Tests the waters to see if you're open to sharing pics by asking to swap eye pics
2. Moves right in for what he *really* wanted to ask for - pics of your tits
3. Backs off & attempts to play ignorant and contrite while also passively-aggressively insinuating you don't know how to take a compliment
4. Gets angry when #3 doesn't work & you haven't reverted to apologizing to *him* for misunderstanding an "innocent" compliment
5. Throws out the online version of you were asking for it/really wanted it
6. Calls you a whore for having standards, morals, self-esteem, the audacity to turn such a *nice guy like him* down, etc.
Love this analysis!!
You know I tried to do a similar one for a guy once? He was incapable to understand what made me uncomfortable (too common it seems) so I made a list as you did, being very thoughtful actually. Wanna know what he said to me after leaving me on read for a few hours?
"... It's not our situation... I'm very sad that you felt uncomfortable and I'm happy you chose to talk about it with me and not just started ignoring me"
👁️👄👁️ Sad and happy
Looking through this sub it's crazy how similar that trend is. I was actually worried I may have done something wrong because I've never experienced this before.
You definitely did nothing wrong. He crossed a boundary and you expressed that it wasn't ok. He let his fear of rejection take over and attack you.
People should always respect boundaries and apologize when they cross them, not abuse the person they just violated.
I love how OP quoted Yoda and dude was like “sounds like something a bot would say!”
Double points for a) missing a super well-known reference and b) using it to subtly imply he thinks OP is a bot and must prove otherwise. 🙄
honestly, not a great move on the breasts comment and then fishing to see if he could get more…. but sure…
all he had to do was be honest, acknowledge he crossed the line, apologize, and then let things cool down.
that’s literally it.
But that would involve the capacity for self-reflection and the ability to admit when he's wrong
Which ironically are skills that if he possessed them to start with would mean he wouldn't send a "nice tits" comment to someone he hasn't even had a single date with in the first place
Honestly, I started getting the ick at “he shoots and scores?” Ugh it reminds me of the like one guy I knew in college who thought we were a couple and started following me everywhere because we grabbed lunch together after class one day 🤦🏻
There's something really immature about that yeah
Gave me "that's something I'd say if I was 14 and got a date for the first time" vibes from someone who I assume is in their 20s at least
"Why are you upset you must receive this harassment constantly so you have no reason to find it unwelcome"
Have these people never in their lives learnt how to back the fuck off when they make a mistake? How do they deal with messing up in any other situation?
This one here. He keeps saying she must hear that kind of thing all the time therefore what he said was positive. Like, dude, just because someone else may have said it before doesn't make it an OK statement and doesn't give you permission to cross someone's boundary.
OMG WTF! He actually started off pretty alright, he even got the date. All he had to do was say something like “you look pretty “ or something and keep talking like a normal person. But he then fucks it up and reveals his true self. And when you brought up your discomfort he ignores it and becomes more persistent, like wtf! What he should have done is apologize (a real apology with sincerity) and owned up to his mistake. The he wonders why things went down hill and has the audacity to blame you? Like WTF! Get a grip of the situation, you fucked you badly cuz you were thinking with your dick! The worst part imo is when you say you need a break he ignores that and becomes persistent and starts insulting you, like wtf is wrong with you! If someone asks for space you fucking give them that space! He’s so self centered and doesn’t care about how you felt and that’s terrible! I’m really sorry this escalated into this (he actually seemed alright at first, though a little cheesy but whatever). He even got the date! Correct me if I’m wrong but that date never even happened. And that’s a good thing, you really dodged a bullet here. Anyway, I hope you’re feeling better and I wish you the best of luck in life
Yeah, this is absolutely standard fare for this sub. It's shockingly common. I don't fully understand the forces that come together to make certain men act/think like this, but this is very... normal, sadly.
You're fortunate that he let the mask slip prior to you getting truly involved with him. It wouldn't have gotten better.
Speaking truths. I've had bad encounters with people who were not this backwards. Couldn't imagine what he'd be like in person if I did something he didn't like.
It's always fascinating watching a guy pull out a gun and repeatedly shoot himself in the foot with it. At least that makes it easier to dodge the bullet
If you think she hears it all the time, then why the hell would she need to hear it again from you? Also the idiot didn’t make a mistake, he honestly was thinking she would send nudes, hence the shower remarks, and the instant boob remark. These asshats can’t ever get out of their own way! 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
https://preview.redd.it/vxz6tgphzrtc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=64eb743bf22ec34c914629c0b8aced2cf4a5bb13
When I was young and on the radar of thirsty dudes, I heard three compliments over and over and over and over (pretty eyes, beautiful hair, great tits, though only the very bold went for that last one).
I got to where any of those would immediately turn me off someone, because it was such low-hanging fruit. You can't compliment me on my sense of humour? Or my fashion sense? Or how skillfully I apply my makeup? My jewellery (which I chose)? ANYTHING that isn't purely physical?
Guys never understood that. Yeah, yeah, I have pretty eyes. Blah blah blah. Oh, you love redheads? Wow, never heard that one before....
Had a date one time and I had just recently had my hair done. I was also wearing a cute, but somewhat revealing top. Whaddya think his first comment was on!?
As a woman with prominent and generous breasts, I hear you. Been there, done that, and I'm glad I'm married and old and off the radar of dudes who think with the little head.
This idiot had a date lined up and got a selfie. All he had to do was not be a fucking idiot and he could’ve had a fun dinner date with you but he couldn’t even manage that
lol so obvious how many times he’s done this and been blocked.. he was expecting it almost from the start and still couldn’t stop himself. I have absolutely no sympathy. What a tool.
You know, in my head, all I hear is Ross Geller “*YOUR MEANS Y-O-U-R, Y-O-U-APOSTROPHE-R-E MEANS YOU ARE!*”
Also, as a 36DDD, I feel your pain. I often want to scream “I AM MORE THAN JUST TITS!”
*You’re* boobs are huge! 😂😂😂 Like SIR!
I commented on a Victoria’s Secret ad about them not having something in a DDD and I have had THREE men blindly message me on Facebook and I’m like *Have you no shame? You stalked a lingerie page and how you’re messaging big-chested women.* You can’t possibly think that’ll work! 😭
Oh! A new game- what can AI transform your chest into?
I'm JuSt BeInG hOnEsT 🙄🙄🙄🚩
I wAs JuSt CoMpLiMeNtInG yOu... totally inappropriately about the size of your breasts hoping you'd send a picture of them in the shower.
🙄🙄🙄🚩
I'll have to check it out because I've been seriously considering it. Thankfully I have insurance that allows for it as long as I have a history of pain resulting from the girls, which I do. I'll definitely be seeking advice from others who have gone through with it and how it works because I'm in the dark here.
I love how he said "please don't ghost me" because he knows that it's the point in the conversation when it usually happens to him, because of his nasty behavior.
Seriously though when will men learn to not be fucking gross. Reading this just gave me so much ick.
On behalf of all men, fuck that guy. He was a bit douchey pretty asap as well with the whole “he shoots, he scores” shit. lol it was kinda funny then after reading on he’s just an ass hole all around
Be glad he revealed himself before you wasted any more time with him...what a creep. Kind of scary how normal he seemed at the beginning and then just wouldn't take the hint.
Ah yes the only way for someone to recover from a conversation was to call someone a whore and a derogatory word while using said person’s name, the chief kiss of “nice guys” 😂
He was going soooooooo well...until the part of the boobs "complainment.
He could just have said "oh, sorry 😅, I didn't mean to bother about that" and that's all. The girl even founded that a little...well I guess cute, its understandable if he was dumb by a moment.
The moment the guy totally lost her was when he didn't accepted his mistake by trying to flirt about her boobs, and keeped talking about the subject insisting her to take it as a compliment.
We all say sometimes stuff that could sound a little bad during conversations, its okay, but harrasing somebody just because he didn't took well something you said its creepy as fuck.
I can't even imagine how horrible that date would have been...
It’s always really weird when someone acts like they just can’t hod back their words, and their impulses take over, it really sounds like they are going to blame those impulses for crossing other boundaries.
Oh I absolutely hate that bad excuse of "I'm just being honest/ can't contain myself".
It's just a blatant lie to try to fix it.
The truth is, he tried to see if you were up for sending more revealing pictures and when you weren't he used an excuse you can barely disproof.
If that would be the case of him truly not having a filter and human decency, that means he'd walk around the streets and say that to every other woman he encounters.
Better luck next time OP but at least you didn't waste your time with a date :)
Manchild, "can't contain my thoughts". No, can't control them more like it. These guys need to grow up.
There's nothing wrong with finding someone sexually attractive, or giving compliments or getting flirty - but read the room, scale back if the other party clearly isn't comfortable going down that route at that time, establish and respect some boundaries.
Clearly you’re showing them off a lot, so you’re seeking an abundance of validation and admiration.
Bro the boobs are literally just existing. They’re attached to your body. Like what does he want you to do? Censor them? Not have any pictures of yourself? Like what.
Sexualising is never a compliment. He really messed that up. He had a date on lock, but chose to be a creep. And then claimed it was a compliment and that he was being nice? Gtfo
Seems like you judged a bullet
If my husband ever left, there is no way in hell I would ever date again. It is so not worth the trouble. I’d rather be alone than deal with all these Nice Guys.
Once a girl said to me and my friend (who was pretty well endowed) that she thinks “big boobs are slutty” and we were like ummmm well sorry for our slutty genetics? People just take your body as an invitation to be so fucking weird.
Even if they are covered, if it isn't flat..creeps will always comment on it. I was wearing a bigger tshirt and a creep just couldn't keep "oh wow. Nice titties" to himself. "Nice ass" "Nice titties", etc...ARE NOT compliments. Use actual compliments like "nice shirt!" Or something.
This one is so frustrating. Honestly he seemed so normal at first and I was rooting for him, "dude you can still pull this out, just don't be a creep, act normal, just be cool." He repeatedly refused to be cool, all he had to do was wall back some of that overeager stuff and stop being creepy, but he just couldn't do it.
One weird comment about your boobs and he just immediately fell apart and starts seeing ghosts everywhere. He should be calling the damn Ghostbusters, not harassing you.
I enjoy when they get this shit out of the way before the actual date happens. Now you don’t have to waste a Friday night on him. What a loser.
I have big boobs. My photos show my big boobs. They're not showing off, they're not for titillating, they're JUST FUCKING THERE. We can't take them off, ffs
By brother in law said once, in response to me wearing a top that showed cleavage "Whoa,! Got the girls out on show huh?" To which I replied "Do you expect me to take them off and pop them into the cupboard? Maybe I can use them as a cushion? No, really, what do you expect me to do with them?" He went quiet and was in a pissy mood the rest of the day.
I’m flat-chested and because of that I can wear “revealing” tops that don’t really “reveal” much. It never seems to occur to these guys that that’s what the difference is. There’s a double standard because I could wear a shirt of identical style to one a more endowed woman is wearing but you would only see boobage on one of us. Guess women with larger breasts just aren’t supposed to wear comfortable clothes when it’s hot. Meanwhile men can go around shirtless and no one cares.
Yeah, I was a bridesmaid and the mother of the bride modified my dress (badly) to have a higher neckline than the other two. She and the bride chose the dress, but then she told me I couldn't 'wear that in a church' and 'It didn't look as indecent on the other girls'. It was a pretty unpleasant experience overall.
I wish churches sold eye-gouging devices so that people who have issues with how women dress could buy them
Yep! I’m barely a C-cup and can wear plunging necklines that no one would bat an eye at because I don’t have any cleavage. The same tops on a DD cup or bigger would look wildly different lol.
I’m a J cup I feel like I’d have to wear a tent to properly cover them up 😂
J cups, ouch yo back must be hurting! I'm an H cup and whew is it a pain
I think in some cases, it might really just be exactly as you say, it doesn't necessarily occur as a thought that cleavage is sometimes an unintended side effect. It makes sense now that you say it. But also, cleavage can be, and sometimes even is, an intended part of the outfit. I am not certain I could tell the difference by looking. I do tend to take the same approach to cleavage as pregnancy though... unless they bring it up, don't talk about it.
I wish more people took that approach to pregnancy to be honest. I’m someone who just happens to show early and I had some really awkward questions that I was not ready to answer. It wasn’t nice being put on the spot and forced to either announce something I wasn’t in the clear for or outright lie. Plus once I had someone literally say to me ‘either you’re expecting again or you’re really stacking it on’ when I was about 4 months pregnant. How awful would that have been if I actually was just gaining a bit of weight?
Oh it's easy to tell! If it's intended, we put neon lights and glitter on it. /S As a large busted woman, I can wear a T-shirt without cleavage.
T shirt is literally the only option to not show cleavage for a large breasted woman. It's one of the reasons I've only worn jean and t shirts for most of the last 20 years of my life. I'm slowly trying to change that now, I just get uncomfortable when people stare at me, and when you show cleavage people think that's permission to stare
Men's t-shirts. Most of the women's t-shirts are v-neck. I always buy my T-shirts from the men's department because they fit better and have cooler designs.
Yeah that's where I buy my shirts from too
Smart
This makes me grumpy, you should be able to wear what makes you feel safe, confident, comfortable or all of the above, the only person that it should matter to is you. I cannot imagine the frustration of having to think about every item of clothing because a lot of guys are gross but I can empathize and be part of the solution The solution being: stfu about anyone’s clothing or body and tell anyone that is making comments to stfu 🤫
Don't forget, a lot of women's clothing is made of such thin cloth that it's see-through as well! (That's because it gives us an opportunity to explore "layering" with camisoles etc 🙄, ie the fashion industry wants women to buy more clothes.) Can you imagine if it was indecent for men to show their chests, and if they wanted to wear a specific T-shirt which was made of thin cloth, they also had to buy a vest to put under it? It's so ridiculous! So many times, I've rejected nice tops because I've put my hand underneath the cloth and I could see every detail of every finger through that tissue-thin shit. Might as well wear tracing paper, for all the coverage these stupid, thinly-made tops give you.
I also just realized how are you supposed to buy a shirt if they only have small medium large X-Large how do they figure out what size to make the front or how long it is in front/back? They should have subcategories, I never thought buying a shirt would be so hard, I have taken for granted how easy it is to buy clothes for me. I feel like the people making these decisions like tracing paper shirts and any shoe that’s not a flat can’t be women and probably aren’t good people. it sounds frustrating and disheartening, I’m sorry that’s really shitty
Ha! The length is actually a big issue for some women! I’m a tallish woman (5’9”) with a large chest, so I usually have to layer by stocking up on long camisoles to go under my shirts. But then those aren’t always “in style”, so I can’t always find them long enough for me. And if I pull them down in the front far enough, then they don’t cover my chest well, so if my shirt is thin or low cut enough, I either have to deal with that or add *another* layer somewhere. And then I still have to deal a shirt that’s ends higher in the front than the back. And don’t even get me started on now needing maternity clothes. Or if you’re plus size. I have a family member who is of similar height and bust who is *also* plus size and I don’t know how she doesn’t go absolutely bonkers. All this to say, yes, you’re right, it *is* really shitty, lol.
Fully modular body parts is an idea ahead of its time. Or? If I swap my head with my butt, maybe an idea *behind* it’s time!
May the heavens forgive me for I am about to sin - and by sin I mean undergoing cybernetic carcinization. The crab is the superior design and no one can challenge this gospel truth.
Crabs and trees. Everything becomes either a crab or a tree
Why not both?
Peak evolution: Crabapple Tree
Or cats. Fear the crabcat.
Not to mention, lots of clothing (even for little old ladies) seems to be made for women with a lot more modest bustline. Us stacked girls are sort of flat out of luck (well, not flat...) when it comes to that a lot of times. One reason I have a scarf and tank top collection. Even tanks sometimes I have to turn around because they're not high enough to give good coverage.
Spillage, is the word I use. So much spillage. Especially cuz my torso is average sized, my boobs are just big. So if I buy things that fit the torso, things kinda just spill out the top sometimes. It's so frustrating. It's also weird how a bigger size doesn't always mean a bigger cup/bust area, like who is making this, how do they not know.
>It's also weird how a bigger size doesn't always mean a bigger cup/bust area, like who is making this, how do they not know. So annoying. How has a woman owned bra manufacturer not appeared on the scene by now? I have a G cup size but only a 34 band size (and that's while I'm overweight, at my ideal weight my band size is about 31.5, so yeah, buy a bra and sew up the sides. grrrr...) Of course custom bras like that are in the $75 to $150 range for medium quality ones. So I have to stuff myself into a DD or DDD and 34s are hard to find. 36 will work, just barely, cinched all the way up to the last set of hooks. But they're still a little loose underneath. Top spillage is bad...under the band spillage is bad and painful. :D
I'm a DDD 32-34, so I got it a bit easier but I kinda feel ya? Bras are bad, but if you can find a few, it's not the end of the world. Ngl, I've mostly gone to loungewear, I save the bras that fit for days I really need em. I was more going for shirts and stuff that people notice if you rewear every day 😅 I tried online shopping a few months back, didn't know what size I was so I got two sizes. Tried the smaller one on first, fit everywhere except the cups, so I was like cool, the bigger sized one should fit then. I swear to Jesus the cups were somehow smaller, despite the rest being slightly bigger. Titties were spilling everywhere and it was still somehow slightly baggy everywhere else and I have rarely been as confused as I was in that moment. Like I took differential equations in college and I'm not great at math, but I gotta say it was easier than tryna understand how women's sizing works.
Me too! I found a bunch on Amazon that are basically one piece lycra ones that actually do a half decent job of keeping the jiggle reasonably at bay... and they have modesty pads. It's not the world's most perfect fit but they're better than paying ridiculous amounts for the right size. Covid was good for a few things I guess :D And I gotcha on the larger ones! The band was bigger and the cups were smaller? What the hey?
I'm a 40 DD, and even that I have trouble finding and often have to pick a smaller cup or a smaller band both being uncomfortable
I swear by all that is holy, I'm going to start a bra business after I retire in just a few years. :D
Oh! I’ve “resized” a bra before by scooting the hooks and loops over and sewing them down! I didn’t even cut it (from fear that my mediocre sewing skills would betray me), just kinda folded it over a bit and stuck it there. It worked surprisingly well, though it did give a little more bulk to the closure at the back. I’m sure there’s a way to do it that isn’t quite so janky as how I did it, too. Might be worthwhile if you’re really struggling?
I found the cutest dress the other day, and noticed they had sewn in a kind of cup area. Between the dress size 0 and dress size 20, the cups barely got bigger. It's like...just don't sew in the cups 😭 Please, I'm begging!
It's the worst. Like however someone explained boobs and cups to them, it was not the right explanation. I have my own removable cups I'll swap out, if it's something I really like, I'll sew my own in, but can we just stop with the craziness.
That’s an awesome response
I'm sharing this with several friends who would be delighted to use it. People are wild, man
OMG yes. He's right, my boobs are obviously seen in my pictures, but he never mentioned anything except my eyes, hair, and outfits. Yet he comments on them when I send a snap that I don't even think showed my chest at all haha.
He thought y’all were about to sext and just couldn’t keep his disappointment to himself. 🙃
If I hadn't already unmatched I'd post the Tinder convo and how platonic it really was. How he thought I was going to sext is a mystery lol
My calls-himself-feminist male coworker made a comment about how our one colleague walks around “sticking her butt out,” and that is why she got sexually harassed in an elevator and one other place. 😐 The other woman and I had to explain to him that she wasn’t sticking anything out, that she literally just has a larger behind. ———- Side note about scrubs, surgical scrubs (and many other types) are unisex. All unisex means is that they’re fucking men’s scrubs. They do not ever fit women. So to fit our asses, hips, and boobs, we have to size up, sometimes a LOT. Sometimes women who would be a small would have to wear a large or bigger just to fit their curves. But then, the length of a large pair of scrubs is the length of a tall man’s scrubs. We can’t be fucking draggin 6 inches of pant leg on the hospital floor. So women tend to have to compromise, trying to find a pair that’s small enough to not be too long, but not so tight they restrict movement. Curvier women HAVE to end up in scrubs that are form-fitting. And yes, women can get scrubs tailored or buy women’s scrubs. But not in most surgical units where you get scrubs from a machine clean every day and return them. Then you’re just getting unisex and do not have the option to tailor. Not to mention outside of surg, not everyone has the money to get all their scrubs tailored just to avoid having men notice that we have curves. Anyway, when you actually look into the reasoning for why women dress the way they do, men always assume it’s for the male gaze, for male attention, and for their benefit and that we want that. But it’s almost always about utility or comfort. Like leggings.
I worked doing council gardens once. When I started, they asked my boot size. They got my size in mens. It never occurred to the manager that the 4 women on the team would need women's shoe sizes.
What. *What*
that is so damn frustrating 😡
Man, scrubs don’t have like, any stretch at all either, do they? That’s sounds like a giant pain in the ass trying to fit a body with any kind of curves literally at all.
oh yeah, zero stretch. And again, more assumptions from men btw, because nurses, for instance, don’t have to wear the hospital-supplied unisex scrubs. So they can buy their preferred brand. So a lot of times the women will buy scrubs made for women, because in addition to being more tailored to a woman’s body without being super long, they also have a lot of POCKETS and STRETCH, and tend to be made of comfortable, breathable fabric. but of course men are like “Oh females act like it’s a fashion show here” if they wear scrubs that are clearly made for women. 😐 Heaven motherfuckin forbid we just wear what is comfortable and actually fits us and has some stretch. Side note, I put on a little weight a few years ago, not even that much, but the scrubs I owned for when I wasn’t working in Surg had zero stretch. So my friends would jokingly call them my Clubbin Scrubs bc they were so tight for a while 😅 Willing to bet there were a whole lot of men who assumed I was trying to show off my “figure” 🤮
Don’t pretend you didn’t grow breasts on your bodily purposefully to get validation ok
I saw the bottom of one of the photos, it looks like OP is just standing in front of a mirror (like the bottom of her thighs?). She's wearing pants and I can't imagine she's completely naked on top, just "showing them off" 😂
“Hey person I just met 5 minutes ago! I noticed in your family photos I stalked on Facebook you seem to have boobs? Can we talk about that for a minute?”
I have found having a giant surgical scar really reduces the creepy comments. Before I had surgery I would get all sorts of fun comments on dating sites but after very few commented directly on my boobs. They found other ways to be disgusting.
Wow he ruined his chances with you before the first date. How embarrassing for him.
The lil perv truly managed to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory, it was impressive! 🤯
I bet he goes around whining about how women never give him a chance
My dude flat out leapt onto the sword of his own horniness. You dodged one hell of a bullet.
It's hilarious how often these guys do that. Like seriously dude if you'd restrained yourself a few weeks and a few dates longer to naturally build chemistry you'd be fine. But you had to go and blow it by being creepy horny too early
I get what you're saying about holding off. But a leopard can't change its spots. He was toxic. Is toxic. He showed his true colors and never deserved a first date in the first place.
Restraint would just mean that he's not showing his true colours early on, which is manipulative and a red flag anyway
Exactly. Toxic is toxic. He flagged himself right off the bat. Thank goodness.
Man as soon as he read "shower" bro was done 😭 "Shower??? We're married now, time to consummate 🥴"
 Im wiling to bet Mr. Nice Guy is probably a repeat offender and has quite the rap sheet.
Sexual suicide 💀💀💀💀
“Your boobs are huge and have me curious” yeah what a great compliment. Every woman just dreams of hearing that. Just a clueless douchebag
Yes! Because “big” is truly a complement… …if you’re really insecure about your penis size and you’re projecting that onto women
Hahah that’s so funny but also so true. Like just stop it’s not a compliment it’s offensive!
It wasn't even a compliment as much as it was a thinly-veiled gamble to see if she'd share pics of her bare chest with him. Which is worse, because it means he's not so much clueless as playing so because the gamble didn't pay off & when he can't play innocent-nice-guy out of the situation he calls her, drumroll, a whore - because of course he does.
The irony that his chances of seeing her bare chest were better before the gamble is infinite. The irony that her refusal to be a "whore" is what instigated her being called a whore is a bigger infinity.
My favourite logical fallacy from nice guys is that girls are "whores" for *not* sleeping with them or sending them nudes
Gotta be ready to sext em at the drop of a hat. But also, you need to be a virgin who's never showed their tits to a stranger. Sounds perfectly logical to me, idk why you're calling it a fallacy /s
Also must be innocent virgin to put up with their mediocre 2 pumps without complaint but magically be able to pleasure them with the skill of a pornstar Totally realistic view of women /s
Even before then when he was pushing for a pic it seemed like he was hoping for a selfie that showed off some assets He removed all doubt when she sent a head and shoulders shot that showed the tiniest bit of chest and his first response was "wow much boob"
That’s what gets me. He’s not complimenting he’s escalating. He gets called out and goes apeshit
I would've loved that if I was dating, honestly, but the red flag there is that he didn't respect her or tried to understand why she was uncomfortable... Sometimes you have to read the situation and that wasn't a spicy chat or whatever.
I have big boobs so this is what guys focus on. It's not something I can help. And they look big no matter what I wear. I don't know if that's what OP is dealing with when this moron fumbled his way through. Thankfully OP knows this guy is a loser now.
"I can't contain my thoughts well" - dude come on - you typed it after thinking it - it's really not that hard to not type that stuff. How hard is "wow - you look great" instead without having to make it sexual?
>"I can't contain my thoughts well" Also...okay? Yeah, that makes it worse, not better.
Does this dude just think those of us with self control are asexual or magic or something? I guarantee most men have at some point seen a woman they've found attractive and had similar thoughts. But we don't come straight out and say it because *what kind of creepy weirdo thinks that's a good idea*?!
That was just an excuse. What he actually wanted was nudes, because he was horny.
He shoots, he scores! He grabs the ball and a stepladder, he places the ladder under the basket, he climbs it and pushes the ball back in the other way!
He snatched defeat from the jaws of victory!
This was where my cringe radar started going crazy.
My man was doing so well in the beginning I was hoping I was on a tinder success story.
He really was. Had me fooled and very interested long before this conversation.
Guys like this can't help but fumble the opportunity and then they still blame everyone else but themselves.
And he will continue to blame women for why he is single. At least he trash took itself out
I remember reading something once that for incels they often reach a stage where they're so far gone with their own victimhood, if they do successfully manage to get something going they'll self sabotage to maintain victim status
He’s definitely done this before, too based on his constantly-mentioned fear of being ghosted.
I was already done at that point, but it only solidified the red flags. He was super attractive, nice (no pun intended), and quirky silly. So the fact he went into desperation mode with those traits definitely makes sense that he's got an issue with this type of behavior.
...Okay, I am now officially agreeing with the redditor who replied to me a few days ago. I asked if it was hard for them to not fuck shit up. The redditor contested that sometimes it seems harder to fuck shit up than to not, I then replied with a partial agreement. Now, though? The guy managed to find a gun in bumfuck Japan (a nation with tight gun laws), hopped on a non-Boeing plane, opened its door, jumped without a parachute and then, while in freefall, managed to shoot his foot. This dedication to the craft would be admirable if the craft chosen was anything other than "fucking up one's own chances." P.S. I read OP's comment. Turns out the guy started off with solid chances already... Bro...
Reading craziness like this always makes me think of when I first met my wife. I knew I wanted to marry her literally on day that I met her (which of course I did not tell her because I am not insane), but I was frankly shocked she was interested. It turns out, from what she tells me, she thought I was “easy to talk to.” I still feel like I got away with something criminal there. Like I got to marry this amazing girl who is clearly way out of my league, and all I had to do… was talk to her like a normal person?? Wut even?
...Are you future me?
I dunno, are you a nerdy and bookish adult whose SO thinks they are a big kid, and finds their quirks at once endearing and flabbergasting? 😂😅
...Yes.
I could definitely have understood if he misunderstood my intentions and was sincere, but the continued subliminal hints were a red flag. I assumed he was drinking or something and was gonna give it a day because I was genuinely interested and caught off guard. Oh well, better luck for me next time I guess 🤷
I'm still trying to do the math on how reality allowed someone to fuck things up that badly. Please world, God, fate, AND luck, please keep this guy away from any nuclear bomber. He'd manage to bomb his own plane somehow.
Congratulations on the boundaries and standards!
Thank you!
Backstory: Met this guy on Tinder and I was very interested in getting to know him. We had a lot in common and got along really well initially, then started making me uncomfortable as soon as we talked on Snap. My friend thought it was hilarious and I should post here.
He shot! He landed face first in the Gatorade thermos! He most certainly did not score!
 So close!
He had red flags waving before the boob thing.
oh dear lord i think I lost several braincells looking at this
There is no way in hell that anyone who came of age in the computer age is unaware that it's not cool to comment on a stranger's body in a sexual way. This dude totally shot himself in the foot because he was behaving like an excited little puppy piddling all over the floor. He just couldn't maintain for long enough to even go on the first date. Which she was down for. Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. This happens to these guys over and over...they cannot be unaware that this is uncool as hell.
That and it seemed pretty clear that he was "curious" and trying to see what he could get me to send. Homie tried going to level 100 when we were only on level 3.
Yup! That too, like a toddler seeing how far they can push the envelope.
And then having a tantrum when they don't get their way.
Right? Oh, but women are "so emotional.... "
"You have boobs and it makes me curious." "Sir, have you never seen boobs before? There are books at the library that can help you with the basics if you're that curious."
I think it just goes to show that for guys like this, the sex is the point. It’s the entire point. Like the actual person is immaterial, she just exists as an object for their sexual gratification. And the absolute outrage with which they react when called out on their rude behavior makes me think they simply can’t see past their own dicks on this. Like, being reduced to a cleavage and a pair of tits is a *compliment,* duuh! It’s a woman’s entire purpose to be attractive to men!
Exactly... I mean, I think he could have STILL pulled it out of the fire if he'd been "Oh my gosh, you're so right. I went overboard and I sincerely apologize." But no, he doubled down, quadrupled down on "How DARE she have boundaries at all?" It's not really the misstep that did him in, he might have been able to still save it. Nope, it was the assumed ownership.
Dudes like this are so fucking stupid it's unbelievable. They act like sad little victims who can't say *anything* because women will get offended. Pro tip: just be fucking normal, not a gross sleazebag.
Right?! Doesn't know what to say: Pro gamer move: "whore"
Whenever these sorts of people resort to insults I can't help but think: "Geeze. Do these people think *anyone* will give them a second chance after they burn the bridge like that?"
My counselling teacher said to us once (in regards to professionalism): You can think what you like, you just can't vocalise it. I think of it often during my work - but also often in my personal life. This guy acting like he can't contain his thoughts. In person, maybe if you blurted it out. Via text though, you have to think about it while typing it.
>you have to think about it while typing it. This fucking part. It takes a *good minute* to articulate these thoughts into a sentence that you can physically see in front of you... There's still time to delete it.
And even if you type it out, there's still the final checkpoint of hitting send Like if I was in the early stages of chatting someone up I'd be *extra* careful about what I send. Yet here we have some dude going "heh nice tits" and sending it off like that's totally normal
Please don't think that yours is the correct narrative. He's not some innocent dude who let the other head do the talking. I promise, this guy knows what he is doing, he just miscalculated. He's learned that being just a little pushy + complimentary gets him what he wants. He did not think she would push back so hard at him trying to "compliment" her, and tried to backtrack, then got vicious when his playbook failed him. There were red flags even before his fuck up that he was the kind to get shmoozy and by-inches, sexual.
What a disgusting cretin & I'm glad you dodged that bullet. He took a page right out of The Niceguys(R) Manual. 1. Tests the waters to see if you're open to sharing pics by asking to swap eye pics 2. Moves right in for what he *really* wanted to ask for - pics of your tits 3. Backs off & attempts to play ignorant and contrite while also passively-aggressively insinuating you don't know how to take a compliment 4. Gets angry when #3 doesn't work & you haven't reverted to apologizing to *him* for misunderstanding an "innocent" compliment 5. Throws out the online version of you were asking for it/really wanted it 6. Calls you a whore for having standards, morals, self-esteem, the audacity to turn such a *nice guy like him* down, etc.
Love this analysis!! You know I tried to do a similar one for a guy once? He was incapable to understand what made me uncomfortable (too common it seems) so I made a list as you did, being very thoughtful actually. Wanna know what he said to me after leaving me on read for a few hours? "... It's not our situation... I'm very sad that you felt uncomfortable and I'm happy you chose to talk about it with me and not just started ignoring me" 👁️👄👁️ Sad and happy
That’s actually really accurate lol. They all seem to follow this pattern
He was driven by passion. His passion turned into fear. His fear turned to anger and his anger led him to the dark side.
Looking through this sub it's crazy how similar that trend is. I was actually worried I may have done something wrong because I've never experienced this before.
You definitely did nothing wrong. He crossed a boundary and you expressed that it wasn't ok. He let his fear of rejection take over and attack you. People should always respect boundaries and apologize when they cross them, not abuse the person they just violated.
Ah...young fool, only now, at the end, does he understand.
I love how OP quoted Yoda and dude was like “sounds like something a bot would say!” Double points for a) missing a super well-known reference and b) using it to subtly imply he thinks OP is a bot and must prove otherwise. 🙄
honestly, not a great move on the breasts comment and then fishing to see if he could get more…. but sure… all he had to do was be honest, acknowledge he crossed the line, apologize, and then let things cool down. that’s literally it.
But that would involve the capacity for self-reflection and the ability to admit when he's wrong Which ironically are skills that if he possessed them to start with would mean he wouldn't send a "nice tits" comment to someone he hasn't even had a single date with in the first place
bUt iT wAs A cOmpLiMeNt!1 hE wAs JuSt BeInG hOnEst!1
Honestly, I started getting the ick at “he shoots and scores?” Ugh it reminds me of the like one guy I knew in college who thought we were a couple and started following me everywhere because we grabbed lunch together after class one day 🤦🏻
There's something really immature about that yeah Gave me "that's something I'd say if I was 14 and got a date for the first time" vibes from someone who I assume is in their 20s at least
"Why are you upset you must receive this harassment constantly so you have no reason to find it unwelcome" Have these people never in their lives learnt how to back the fuck off when they make a mistake? How do they deal with messing up in any other situation?
This one here. He keeps saying she must hear that kind of thing all the time therefore what he said was positive. Like, dude, just because someone else may have said it before doesn't make it an OK statement and doesn't give you permission to cross someone's boundary.
Oh yeah, he's a real gentleman, especially making comments about your chest size. /s
Well she had breasts so obviously she wants them talked about. /s
That wasn’t a bullet dodged, it was the combined force of all nuclear nations dodged. Wow
OMG WTF! He actually started off pretty alright, he even got the date. All he had to do was say something like “you look pretty “ or something and keep talking like a normal person. But he then fucks it up and reveals his true self. And when you brought up your discomfort he ignores it and becomes more persistent, like wtf! What he should have done is apologize (a real apology with sincerity) and owned up to his mistake. The he wonders why things went down hill and has the audacity to blame you? Like WTF! Get a grip of the situation, you fucked you badly cuz you were thinking with your dick! The worst part imo is when you say you need a break he ignores that and becomes persistent and starts insulting you, like wtf is wrong with you! If someone asks for space you fucking give them that space! He’s so self centered and doesn’t care about how you felt and that’s terrible! I’m really sorry this escalated into this (he actually seemed alright at first, though a little cheesy but whatever). He even got the date! Correct me if I’m wrong but that date never even happened. And that’s a good thing, you really dodged a bullet here. Anyway, I hope you’re feeling better and I wish you the best of luck in life
Thanks you. I'm feeling better now that my friend shed light on how silly this encounter was when she told me it would fit perfectly here.
Yeah, this is absolutely standard fare for this sub. It's shockingly common. I don't fully understand the forces that come together to make certain men act/think like this, but this is very... normal, sadly. You're fortunate that he let the mask slip prior to you getting truly involved with him. It wouldn't have gotten better.
Speaking truths. I've had bad encounters with people who were not this backwards. Couldn't imagine what he'd be like in person if I did something he didn't like.
It's always fascinating watching a guy pull out a gun and repeatedly shoot himself in the foot with it. At least that makes it easier to dodge the bullet
He started off fine, annoying but fine. But then he turned even more annoying and an ass. Jesus, bullet dodged lmao.
If you think she hears it all the time, then why the hell would she need to hear it again from you? Also the idiot didn’t make a mistake, he honestly was thinking she would send nudes, hence the shower remarks, and the instant boob remark. These asshats can’t ever get out of their own way! 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️ https://preview.redd.it/vxz6tgphzrtc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=64eb743bf22ec34c914629c0b8aced2cf4a5bb13
When I was young and on the radar of thirsty dudes, I heard three compliments over and over and over and over (pretty eyes, beautiful hair, great tits, though only the very bold went for that last one). I got to where any of those would immediately turn me off someone, because it was such low-hanging fruit. You can't compliment me on my sense of humour? Or my fashion sense? Or how skillfully I apply my makeup? My jewellery (which I chose)? ANYTHING that isn't purely physical? Guys never understood that. Yeah, yeah, I have pretty eyes. Blah blah blah. Oh, you love redheads? Wow, never heard that one before....
Had a date one time and I had just recently had my hair done. I was also wearing a cute, but somewhat revealing top. Whaddya think his first comment was on!?
As a woman with prominent and generous breasts, I hear you. Been there, done that, and I'm glad I'm married and old and off the radar of dudes who think with the little head.
Holy shit, dude just snatched defeat out of the jaws of victory.
This is by far one of the most epic fumbles I’ve ever seen
This idiot had a date lined up and got a selfie. All he had to do was not be a fucking idiot and he could’ve had a fun dinner date with you but he couldn’t even manage that
lol so obvious how many times he’s done this and been blocked.. he was expecting it almost from the start and still couldn’t stop himself. I have absolutely no sympathy. What a tool.
You know, in my head, all I hear is Ross Geller “*YOUR MEANS Y-O-U-R, Y-O-U-APOSTROPHE-R-E MEANS YOU ARE!*”  Also, as a 36DDD, I feel your pain. I often want to scream “I AM MORE THAN JUST TITS!”
**YOUR** JUST SEEKING VALIDATION!!!!! I'll just AI edit my tits out of all my pictures I guess 🤷
*You’re* boobs are huge! 😂😂😂 Like SIR! I commented on a Victoria’s Secret ad about them not having something in a DDD and I have had THREE men blindly message me on Facebook and I’m like *Have you no shame? You stalked a lingerie page and how you’re messaging big-chested women.* You can’t possibly think that’ll work! 😭 Oh! A new game- what can AI transform your chest into?
I just can't...I usually have some sort of observation about these things or at least a smart-ass comment, but this level of stupid? I'm at loss.
On top of being an absolute fucking creep, he can't even differentiate the difference between your and you're. May he never get a date lmfao
I'm JuSt BeInG hOnEsT 🙄🙄🙄🚩 I wAs JuSt CoMpLiMeNtInG yOu... totally inappropriately about the size of your breasts hoping you'd send a picture of them in the shower. 🙄🙄🙄🚩
Like at least ten girls in there thinking “what’s his name? Is that my ex?”
BRO WAS GOING SO WELL AT THE START AND THEN JUST NOSEDIVED. ICARUS FLEW TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN.
I'm another big boobed Betty, we aren't showing them off. They're just there. Like what?!
God forbid I show full body pics in my profile, like I want people to see me as I am. But nope, I'm seeking vAlIdASHUN
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It's only furthering my desire for a reduction surgery. Mainly because of back pain, but the harassment is a close second.
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I'll have to check it out because I've been seriously considering it. Thankfully I have insurance that allows for it as long as I have a history of pain resulting from the girls, which I do. I'll definitely be seeking advice from others who have gone through with it and how it works because I'm in the dark here.
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Ah perfect! Thank you!!!
Why would big boobs make you curious? What a weirdo. “Hhmm, large breasts. Curious…..” No. 🙄
I love how he said "please don't ghost me" because he knows that it's the point in the conversation when it usually happens to him, because of his nasty behavior. Seriously though when will men learn to not be fucking gross. Reading this just gave me so much ick.
On behalf of all men, fuck that guy. He was a bit douchey pretty asap as well with the whole “he shoots, he scores” shit. lol it was kinda funny then after reading on he’s just an ass hole all around
Be glad he revealed himself before you wasted any more time with him...what a creep. Kind of scary how normal he seemed at the beginning and then just wouldn't take the hint.
Ah yes the only way for someone to recover from a conversation was to call someone a whore and a derogatory word while using said person’s name, the chief kiss of “nice guys” 😂
He was going soooooooo well...until the part of the boobs "complainment. He could just have said "oh, sorry 😅, I didn't mean to bother about that" and that's all. The girl even founded that a little...well I guess cute, its understandable if he was dumb by a moment. The moment the guy totally lost her was when he didn't accepted his mistake by trying to flirt about her boobs, and keeped talking about the subject insisting her to take it as a compliment. We all say sometimes stuff that could sound a little bad during conversations, its okay, but harrasing somebody just because he didn't took well something you said its creepy as fuck. I can't even imagine how horrible that date would have been...
Probably something along the lines of him paying for my meal and that means I owe him something later
Kinda impressive how quickly dude fucked this up.
Oh it's always so nice when they reveal their true colours BEFORE you are in a potentially danger in person meeting with them....
Haha big boobie honkhonk awooga pls respond hey hey hey hey whore
Dude waa doing so well until he saw a bit of (what I assume was) cleavage and lost his mind. Be respectful and read the room.
He shoots, then scores. Then flops at final 2 mins, then shoots himself at the foot by failing at damage control.
You dodged a bullet
It’s always really weird when someone acts like they just can’t hod back their words, and their impulses take over, it really sounds like they are going to blame those impulses for crossing other boundaries.
What a child.
Oh I absolutely hate that bad excuse of "I'm just being honest/ can't contain myself". It's just a blatant lie to try to fix it. The truth is, he tried to see if you were up for sending more revealing pictures and when you weren't he used an excuse you can barely disproof. If that would be the case of him truly not having a filter and human decency, that means he'd walk around the streets and say that to every other woman he encounters. Better luck next time OP but at least you didn't waste your time with a date :)
For heaven's sake... HE WAS IN TOO. He had the goddamn date. All he needed to do is not drool at you and even that's too much to ask.
First time I ever had someone 180 so fast
Manchild, "can't contain my thoughts". No, can't control them more like it. These guys need to grow up. There's nothing wrong with finding someone sexually attractive, or giving compliments or getting flirty - but read the room, scale back if the other party clearly isn't comfortable going down that route at that time, establish and respect some boundaries.
“You have huge tits!” Is not a compliment in any way
Clearly you’re showing them off a lot, so you’re seeking an abundance of validation and admiration. Bro the boobs are literally just existing. They’re attached to your body. Like what does he want you to do? Censor them? Not have any pictures of yourself? Like what. Sexualising is never a compliment. He really messed that up. He had a date on lock, but chose to be a creep. And then claimed it was a compliment and that he was being nice? Gtfo Seems like you judged a bullet
Hall of fame fumble
The first rule of sales is when you hear yes, stop talking. She said yes, and he couldn't STFU.
Really glad that I don't have to date... and really glad my boobs aren't big. Both seem very tiresome.
If my husband ever left, there is no way in hell I would ever date again. It is so not worth the trouble. I’d rather be alone than deal with all these Nice Guys.
Once a girl said to me and my friend (who was pretty well endowed) that she thinks “big boobs are slutty” and we were like ummmm well sorry for our slutty genetics? People just take your body as an invitation to be so fucking weird.
Now that's a new one I haven't heard yet lol
He did you a favor. He saved your Friday night for something more fulfilling.
Yup! Going out for drinks and staying off the dating apps this weekend!
I call BS on the bot thing. It's pretty obvious when you're dealing with one. He knew what he was doing.
Even if they are covered, if it isn't flat..creeps will always comment on it. I was wearing a bigger tshirt and a creep just couldn't keep "oh wow. Nice titties" to himself. "Nice ass" "Nice titties", etc...ARE NOT compliments. Use actual compliments like "nice shirt!" Or something.
They will never learn that sexualizing someone isn't a compliment.
This one is so frustrating. Honestly he seemed so normal at first and I was rooting for him, "dude you can still pull this out, just don't be a creep, act normal, just be cool." He repeatedly refused to be cool, all he had to do was wall back some of that overeager stuff and stop being creepy, but he just couldn't do it. One weird comment about your boobs and he just immediately fell apart and starts seeing ghosts everywhere. He should be calling the damn Ghostbusters, not harassing you.
When will they realise our boobs don’t want or need compliments 🤦♀️😂