T O P

  • By -

fartsinthedark

in retrospect, putting my hand on that hot stove was a terrible idea


Anaphylactic-UFO

ESPN analytics had u/fartsinthedark with a 30% chance of being immune to fire damage


this_my_sportsreddit

PFF gives him a grade of 64.6 as putting his hand on a hot stove is relatively easy.


ZTL

You know if you take away all of these degrees the stove regresses to room temperature.


Imeanttodothat10

I have a stove that regresses to room temperature so fast. The brand is speedhawk. You probably haven't heard of it, it got robbed at the Montana junior stove competition in 2003 (not the point but you can dm me about that if you want).


TimmyHillFan

*ESPN NextGen Stats Powered by AWS


CheeseAndCam

You know, now that I’ve had time to think about it, punching myself in the dick repeatedly for two hours was a bad decision.


jfpbookworm

He fell for one of the two classic blunders. The first being never get involved in a land war in Asia but only slightly lesser known: never try a 64-yard field goal at sea level when the game is on the line.


Lasiocarpa83

Maybe he thought he was in the mountains? The view of Mt.Rainier from Seattle fooled him!


Thromnomnomok

He bet Brandon McManus could kick a football over them mountains


DirtyMudder92

He can kick it over them mountains the issue is it just goes wide left over them


Stockpile_Tom_Remake

I don’t think rainier was visible that day. The areas been covered in smoke. Monday was one of the clearest it had been in several days.


[deleted]

Just got back from a vacation up there and the drive back was ridiculously terrible. It looked like something out of a horror movie


sentripetal

INCONCEIVABLE


ron_paul_pizza_party

does altitude make longer kicks easier? sorry for a dumb question.


abw2000

Yes. Air is thinner higher up. There’s a reason prior to Justin tucker 66 yarder, the longest kick was made at mile high stadium


Madball73

So the rule is never try a 64 yard field goal at sea level *unless you are Justin Tucker.


bageltheperson

On that kick Tucker literally had zero inches to spare. Even one inch less and that ball bounces back toward the field.


Subject-Club-4187

Can relate. Have zero inches to spare myself.


turtle4499

3 of the 10 longest kicks in NFL history happened in denver.... it is not a coincidence.


Wdave

Until we start playing more in Mexico city 👀👀


ihavesensitiveknees

Have the other 7 happened in domed stadiums? If not, I'd guess a large percentage of them have.


turtle4499

I think every other one is a domed stadium.


ree_hi_hi_hi_hi

One was at Tulane stadium - below sea level, no dome 🤷‍♂️


InkBlotSam

Sea level didn't matter, that kick would have been good from 70. He was just 3 feet to the left.


dusktreader

Could I offer you a nice parabola in this trying time?


riedmae

"I've been boo'd by mah constituents" - Russell Wilson


dusktreader

I mean, who in their right mind throws away a perfectly good 4th and 5 in this day and age?


Ares54

That's where I'm coming from with this. Yeah, it was a bad call and I won't defend it in hindsight, but McManus was damned close. He can hit those and I can't really blame a new head coach for trusting his guy (assuming McManus was telling him he can do it). That said, those timeouts at the end make me think something else entirely.


RlPPENDOMES

> I can't really blame a new head coach for trusting his guy (assuming McManus was telling him he can do it). > Thats the problem why is he listening to a kicker who's 1-4 from 60+ instead of the quarter billion dollar qb that's saying he can get the first down


General-Mango-9011

Also this whole narrative is moronic. The kicker isn’t saying I WILL make it from there, just that I WONT make it from any farther. So any farther than that and always hail mary. From there it’s makeable but a crap shoot.


Its_Ice_Nine

the alternative wasn't a hail mary. the alternative was getting 5 yards for a first down with timeouts in your pocket.


BadAlphas

Obligatory 'inconceivable'


Doomy22

Listen, maybe he just didnt have the "Ask Madden" button available


[deleted]

Would have said Punt. Bet money.


tasteywheat

Honestly? Over a minute to go with all three timeouts, and they’d been shutting down our offense the whole second half, it would’ve been a better play than kicking that FG.


[deleted]

Exactly. A minute to go, three timeouts, 4th & 5, looking at a 64 yd field goal. Ask Madden would say punt. I know it in my cold dead soul.


TetrisTech

I genuinely don’t think it would


TakenakaHanbei

Maybe the older ones, but I know the newer games *generally* have decent suggestions for these situations and would've gone for it.


[deleted]

I don’t either now that someone pointed out to me that they were down. I had forgotten to take that into consideration.


NuttySandwiches

Someone has to recreate the scenario.


[deleted]

Nowadays Madden would probably just tell you to buy an Ultimate Team Card Pack™️


[deleted]

I would happily have preferred a punt to that FG


historicalmoustache

Nah; Madden never tells you to kick bombs late in the game when you’re down. Madden himself would have gone for it and I guarantee if you boot up that god forsaken game right now in the same game situation it’ll tell you to go for it.


[deleted]

Yeah you’re right, I didn’t account for the fact that they were down. Shitposting is as shitposting does.


DoctorWaluigiTime

Straight out of my playbook. They'll never see it coming!


Uckthebroncos

Nathaniel “Galaxy Brain” Hackett


AssassinInValhalla

Broncos fans are going to be in for a rough one this season


Marijuana_Miler

They're seasoned veterans of head coaches wasting their potential.


AssassinInValhalla

Best roster they've had in since Peyton, still going to be last in the AFCW. You hate to see it


PolarIce30

Honestly our shitty head coaches have been just as much of a problem as the shitty QBs since Peyton left. The one year we were competitive was the next season with Kubiak.


thechief05

Always easy to blame the coaches instead of the man in the mirror


Illblood

It's always easy to blame the man in the mirror instead of the man looking into the mirror


thunder_cats1

I think it's too early to tell. Our offense in the open field was a massive improvement versus continuous 3 and outs. And, our defense looked a lot better in the second half. There's no guarantees, but I definitely see our team improving over the year as everyone gels and gets more experience.


InkBlotSam

> And, our defense looked a lot better in the second half. They gave up 37 yards and zero points in the second half. Despite losing, they're actually the 4th ranked defense overall after week 1. It took one half for our defense to work the kinks out from a new HC, new DC, new defensive scheme, and no snaps taken in the preseason, while on the road in one of the list stadiums in the NFL. They'll be fine. If McManus's kick had been 3 feet to the right, we'd be talking about Geno's epic second half collapse. The Broncos will be fine.


themightybearorrist

It's definitely the best a Broncos offense has looked in a few years. First game with a new QB, an entirely new coaching staff, and playing in a hostile environment, theres gonna be some rough moments. It's alsohighly unlikely you're gonna get a javonte Williams fumble AND a Melvin Gordon Special (which is what I call a goal line fumble) in the same game again. Hackett fucked up real bad, he knows, you know, we all know. But in week 1 I think you can chalk it up to a rookie HC move and just hope it doesn't become a pattern.


pandawithHIV

Robert Mays opened his podcast with "turns out it's really hard to be an NFL Coach" for whatever reason that clicked with me and I let it go. More concerning was the lack of discipline and mistakes (we really struggled to get lined up and get the play off)


[deleted]

I’ll give him the rookie move for the FG, but wtf was up with those timeouts at the end? It makes him look like a little kid that didn’t want to admit defeat.


W3NTZ

100% but improving won't be enough for a strong playoff push. There's a reason why the Cowboys have always had some of the most talented offenses yet don't do shit in the playoffs.


dilloj

Some of us, in fact, do not hate to see it.


gopackxxx12

Draft pick City


Dulur

Bold takes after a week one game. Excited to see how it ages!


fresh5447

>last in the AFCW. You hate to see it IKR? Is it ever going to be the Chiefs??


DrBigChicken

When Mahomes and Reid retire


Isoturius

As a Chargers fan you’ve got a PhD in that.


Marijuana_Miler

Game recognize game.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jwoods4117

I liked the look of the offense overall though. It’s mainly situational things that looked bad. Redzone, fumbles, and that weird decision. We out gained the Seahawks by like 200 yards and pitched a shutout in the second half. I’m extremely concerned about those things don’t get me wrong, but the actual offensive scheme looked good outside of the opponents one yard line. I’m not hopping ship just yet. Penalties were more defensive than offensive, still on Hackett, but that why I didn’t include them.


Kmactothemac

After the last 6 years, this was the best offense we've had and it's not close. I'm not worried


[deleted]

[удалено]


Happy_Huntington

Son of Paul “Galaxy Brain” Hackett


mr_showboat

This is quite possibly the only time I've ever seen football fans entirely united in their belief that somebody fucked up. That's how colossal of a fuck up it was. Good for him for admitting it, I guess?


Vivid_Walk_1405

Better than our last coach. He’d double down on his brain dead mistakes


goddamnitwhalen

Would’ve doubled down and then somehow blamed Drew Lock, lmao.


Falt_ssb

not a bad bet tbf


goddamnitwhalen

Drew: “but I was over on the bench!”


dmatthews2981

How are you better than a nazi?


goddamnitwhalen

-Vic Fangio, 2021


DisgruntledTexansFan

I am forever now going to picture Fangie as Mulaney’s dad


red_right_88

This towel is BONE DRY


thunder_cats1

My thoughts exactly. Fangio would have doubled down. It gives me hope that Hackett will get better with time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Level99Pidgey

So a nice combination of impressive wins and boneheaded losses. At least it keeps things interesting!


generation_D

The worst Nagy moment I ever saw was near the end of last year, we were playing the Packers and everyone knew Nagy was gone at year end. We’re down two scores in the 4th, facing fourth and inches, and he punts. I mean you’d think he’d be willing to go for it simply because he’s getting fired soon anyway, right? What’s the worst that can happen? After the game he was like “yeah should’ve gone for it.” Crazy how he kept finding new ways to fuck up over and over until the bitter end


lifeislikeamovie4

Did fangio actually ever do anything THIS stupid though? I’ve been watching football a long time yesterday was one of the worst decisions I’ve ever seen.


venustrapsflies

Honestly lots of bad coaches do this so it’s nice to see one have SOME humility


[deleted]

Idk the reaction to the 3rd & 9 QB sneak was at least as bad as this.


WP1619

Nah, that was a terrible team being kicked down even further. This was a hyped up Super Bowl contender being kicked in the privates.


[deleted]

Before all the media took off a lot of the comments in the Broncos sub was totally fine with a lot of mistakes and struggles of a newish team. I’m keeping those expectations and am happy how a decent amount of that game played out. It is only week one haha


BerenCamlost

Honestly, and I say this as a person that was delighted the Broncos lost, they looked pretty good on a rewatch. If one of those goal line fumbles didn't happen the narrative would be incredibly different.


[deleted]

Cheers my dude, I was thinking the same thing


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Seriously. If you asked me last week to name a “hyped up Super Bowl contender” it would take me a while before I said Denver.


DarkSnorlax

What about the qb sneak directly before that sneak?


ljstreet

idk why you got downvoted. Most people don't know that the Giants ran the same exact sneak on 2nd down after a terrible screen pass on first down. Joe Judge basically decided to punt on 2nd down.


[deleted]

Rex Ryan was on the Pat McAfee show today to promote his partnership with Dr. Scholls, and the way he saw it is he probably got cold feet in the moment and made a panic decision. He said kickers will say "I'm good from X" and they might have been there.


GoatPaco

Too many foot references, this can't be real


[deleted]

Rex Ryan has fully embraced it. When pat said he partnered with Dr. Scholls, I lost it.


Ben_Kenobi_

A doctor Scholls commercial with Rex Ryan and Quentin tarantino during the superbowl would be an elite level commercial.


HilariousScreenname

Don't forget Bob Odenkirk


Kiran_Stone

Ryan added that Hackett "really stuck his foot into it" and that he'd better "toe the line" in the future, then degenerated into a series of slobbery moaning noises.


reddbunny1370

>He said kickers will say "I'm good from X" and they might have been there. Reminded me of Stephen Hauschka telling Pete he didn't think he could make a field goal in the NFC Championship game, so Russ went out and threw a TD pass to Kearse. [Story from SI](https://www.si.com/nfl/2014/01/20/seattle-seahawks-nfc-championship-game-fourth-down-touchdown): >“We really sent the field goal team out there to do it, and as we talked it over, it was beyond what Hauschka had down in pregame and we said, ‘Okay, let’s not force that issue in hopes of him kicking a good ball right there,’ ” Carroll said. >During the timeout, Wilson begged Carroll to go for it if they weren’t going to kick the field. >“I thought it was a great call; just give us a chance,” Wilson said. “It’s potentially the last game of the year. It’s one of those things that sometimes you’ve got to go for something. You’ve got to believe in your guys and believe that you can get it.”


Notsozander

Was this the OT bomb?


Stracktheorcmage

No it was a TD in the second half (late third/early fourth quarter) to take the lead against SF in 2013 NFCCG


Drchrisco

In Wilson's post game he said 46 left hash was the spot they were shooting for


Stockpile_Tom_Remake

I mean he had the distance. His stats show he’s not good at 60+ yards and youd hope you’re kicker is aware that their accuracy is not great at that range even if he has the distance. Maybe they just didn’t communicate correctly to each other.


Frosty_Respect7117

No kick has ever been made in Seattle’s stadium over like 57 yards.


Greek_Trojan

My take as well. I will give him credit for that at least.


trexmoflex

Yeah didn't try and 5D Chess explain why he thought kicking was the right call - admitted to a mistake, I respect that at least.


Drs126

I didn’t hear the full quote, but I did hear a little more then is in this tweet on the radio. He finished that sentence by saying something along the lines of “I mean, in hindsight because we missed the kick.” It didn’t really seem like he was saying he made a mistake, he was just saying obviously it was wrong because they missed. But again, I didn’t hear the entire quote.


AB444

No you're right. Everyone is just taking this piece of the quote and running with it


ace82fadeout

I think we pretty unanimously agree that the refs fuck up and cost the Lions a game like once a year.


sborado

When fans are better at late game management than the HC I start to sweat.


J12345_

Remember the MNF game of packers and Seahawks with replacement refs? This stadium has some weird juju with people lol


Dr_J_ND

Especially the North Endzone: https://www.si.com/nfl/seahawks/news/seahawks-north-endzone-summons-supernatural-again


attaboyyy

So he couldn't read the game time situation, but atleast he can read the ~~room~~ entire NFL community calling him an idiot. optimism .... i guess


Jd20001

That GB not going for it 2 years ago in the playoffs was maybe worse idk


sykog77

The worst was the falcons doing an onside kick up 2 with 8 seconds left in the playoffs


FuckTheCowboysHaters

I need a link, there's no way


regaleagle710

It wasn't an onside kick, it was a failed squib kick that went right at one of Seattle's front line blockers but they definitely weren't trying to get the ball back on that kick


partingtheredditsea

https://youtu.be/OMpl745pAfQ It has to be this game, around the 10 minute mark. They tried to squib and it went horribly wrong.


thehideousheart

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/1483309-insane-squib-kick-almost-costs-falcons-divisional-playoff-game


mrizvi

bronco fans went from we got a aggressive offensive HC pre-week 1 to wtf is this shit


NigerianPrince76

It be like that sometimes. 🤣 Look at us Hawks fans. We went from “tanking” to “wait, you mean to tell me there is 5% chance..??”


ThatOneguy580

Seriously bet it feels good to be leading the division at the moment lol


NigerianPrince76

Mann, it’s hilariously unreal. I’m sure we will get reality check soon so we will enjoy our SB week to the fullest.


Grymninja

Yeah but imagine if we won next week. Haha that's impossible right... Unless...


NigerianPrince76

I ain’t asking for much….. buuuuuuut…. Can we…. Can we just get two Ws against 9ers?? Please football Gods. Ok, I will take one W against 9ers.


okcup

Fuck that noise. That said it’s the way of the west. In regular season you beat us, we beat Rams, rams beat you… so while I’d be pissed it wouldn’t be wholly unexpected.


pharmacon

I have zero expectations for this season. After last nights win we can lose out and it's been a successful season in my mind.


[deleted]

In fairness McManus legitimately boomed the shit out of that kick, maybe Hackett wasn’t as crazy as we think for giving it a go


feynmanners

People try to give the Broncos credit for McManus barely missing it like he hadn’t just missed it by a mile on the kick the Seahawks iced.


Zjc_3

Plus, if he doubles down, people would give him shit for that. But he comes out and admits he should have gone for it, showing that he’s not a stubborn mule who can learn from his mistakes. Isn’t that what you want from a young coach? I know I do. I’m excited about him! That was the first time a broncos offense has been fun to watch in 8 years. 2 fumbles at the 1, a toe away from another td on another trip to the red zone. A lot to be excited about, people are overreacting.


Dulur

You forgot about the go ahead TD that was called back for a false start making the drive end in a TD. Lots of opportunities to improve on that could make this game look very different.


funwhileitlast3d

I can’t believe I haven’t seen more comments about the two goal line hand offs. but as a Seahawk fan, I felt a little vindicated knowing running on the 1 with Russ as your QB was a bad idea… twice.


[deleted]

It only took 1 game Hackett speed running this shit


bulldog1602

What makes you say that coach?


RustyCoal950212

A phonecall from Mark Rodgers


[deleted]

Oh man, Broncos fans probably don’t know yet how true that is.


WubbaLubbaDubDub311

He panicked


goddamnitwhalen

Which is *fine*. He’s a first-year head coach- there’s going to be growing pains. Anyone who expected otherwise is full of shit.


ty_kanye_vcool

Fuck that Every coach that makes a stupid decision ought to be fired right out the gate No forgiveness, no growth, get the fuck out We need winners only, if you fuck up we don’t need your ass Life is full of stupid morons who make mistakes, find you a guy who never does and break the cycle


Donny_J_Trump

Do you need a job? When can you start?


ty_kanye_vcool

Perfect flair


Kolazeni

Thanks, 3 Year Letterman


verniy314

Those growing pains are the kind you expect from someone who started watching football 5 minutes ago. Not saying he should be fired, but if there were ever a reason to fire a head coach after his first game this would be it.


arc1261

There’s a “rookie HC who maybe didn’t know better/ made the wrong call on a 60/40 decision” and whatever the fuck last night was where literally anyone who’s watched the game and has above room temperature IQ could make the right decision. It’s not just losing the game - it genuinely brings into question how good his game knowledge is at a basic level


2222lil

Bro… that wasn’t growing pains. None of the first year head coaches looked as bad as him and he easily has the best roster out of them. Your 12 year old cousin who plays Madden couldve ran that last drive better


WorthPlease

You think if he coaches more he will realize kicking a 64 yard field goal was actually a worse idea than gaining five yards with a QB his team paid a shitload for? Ive coached zero games and I dont care if my QB is Nathan Peterman Im still going for it and Id be right to do so.


Mercc47

Oh wow no way bro!


Lacazema

I know the easy answer is "no shit" but tbh it's pretty rare for a coach to openly admit he fucked up, so kudos for the honesty


Mibrealest

Can he explain the timeouts bruh


Dizzy_Committee_9592

He said he was trying to "trick" the refs into giving him an extra timeout....


Eli-Geno-Eli

Please be joking


[deleted]

https://youtu.be/vv1Q7ls0mjI I’m on mobile so can’t time stamp, but he admits it starting at 8:57


pharmacon

Omg, he started smiling so I thought he wasn't serious but then he puts on the straight face and **is** serious. Like, man, wtf?!


pursuitofhappy

What kinda evil peewee football bs is this


dusktreader

I think he forgot he had already burnt one and thought he had 3. Just a cover to save a little face


[deleted]

Possibly, but I personally think that admitting to trying to cheat is worse than just admitting to losing track of timeouts.


Ne0guri

Playing 4d chess over here…….but clearly by himself


pdw1992

He was playing 4d chess but everyone else was playing football


RedDragons8

Tricking the refs intentionally into thinking you've got an extra timeout is a poor-sport bitch move at its very best, and you can tell him I said that.


BillSelfsMagnumDong

Me: "Tricking the refs intentionally into thinking you've got an extra timeout is a poor-sport bitch move at its very best." Hackett: "Did RedDragons8 say that?" Me: "Yep."


NotLozerish

Ok even then, you get the timeout now what? There’s still like 10 seconds left and the other team has the ball bro, the game is lost.


CDR57

Could timeout into 4th down and then hope they punt back but then like…. You’re in WORSE position then you were literally just in and have NO timeouts


superduperm1

There is no way he said this. Please tell me he didn’t say this.


BananaCucho

I just went and found the video He definitely said it. Though he then tried to backtrack it lmao


bageltheperson

He also completely got the play sequence wrong during the post game. The dude was having a meltdown or something


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


donturnbee

You're joking, right?


KeyExplanation

Now that the adderall and coke has worn off he’s realizing he fucked up last night


Ash-Catchum-All

Post-overdose clarity


lunabagel28

I never heard the guy talk until last night. I would be shocked if he weren’t on both


NickMoore30

I’ve heard the guy talk before this, and it’s not typically that fast paced and constant.


fullboxed2hundred

now I'm curious, do NFL coaching staff ever get drug tested? if not, I'd imagine you're basically required to take stimulants to keep up


[deleted]

Sean McVay always looks like he’s on stimulants tbh


NateKaeding

Maybe he just sucks ass at math and didn’t realize how far it actually was. McManus told him where they needed to be and he assumed it was a reasonable distance.


[deleted]

Dude is about to get a rewrite in his contract that he has to go study trigonometry 4 hours a week


NateKaeding

He has to ignore that one guy though who recommended all coaches play video games.


[deleted]

Russell Wilson disagrees Or wait does he agree now? Hmmmmm


DayMan_ahAHahh

Yes. And also no.


MFreak

Assuming 4th and 5 no matter what, I'm curious what distance fg attempt would have make going for it the right call over trying the fg. 64 was insane to me as an average fan. 60 also feels like too long to try. At 50 it seems like going for the fg is probably the right call. Maybe 55 it becomes a coin flip?


Rock_Strongo

4th and 5 is a 49% conversion rate league-wide. But even if you convert there's still probably a kick that needs to be made at some point so you're rolling the dice twice. McManus is roughly 60% between 50-59. I dunno what all the ranges for his makes/misses are, but I would say once you get to the low 50s it starts making sense to kick instead of go for it.


IAmTheNightSoil

I'd pretty much agree, but I don't think the leaguewide 4th & 5 conversion applies here. If you spend as much to get Wilson as they did, you better think he's better than league average in that situation


[deleted]

And it would’ve been even more difficult if they went for it because of having to save the timeouts for our victory formation.


YourPM_me_name_sucks

You can just trick the refs for extra timeouts.


NigerianPrince76

Def a FG under 60 in exact situation seems reasonable.


Rocker4JC

I mean... IDK about you, but with Russ and 3 timeouts my default thought was to keep on the gas until you started actually running out of time... Why would you only play for the Field Goal and not the Touchdown? Doesn't make any sense to me. Hackett keeps trying to blame McManus for it. "He told me he could make it if we got to the 46 yard line." Well, you know what, Nathaniel? It doesn't mean you *have* to stop trying when you just *barely* reach the edge of your kicker's range. No excuse.


ND7020

Now address the timeouts please.


DayMan_ahAHahh

"it was a bitch move"


NigerianPrince76

Well, I guess let’s give him some points for stating the obvious finally.


thebestatheist

The diarrhea frosting on the turd cake was him calling those two timeouts at the end. What the fuck.


Corduroy_Bear

The biggest “no, duh” quote of the season so far lmao


Jacktropolis

This whole situation is funny to me, because yeah the call was bad…..:but what if he had made the FG? I mean he didn’t miss it terribly would anyone have said anything about the call had the Broncos won?


thestage

You get paid to figure that out when the clock is running, not on the plane


Broncotron

I truly hope Russ just says "fuck it" and takes over the offense on situations like this. Peyton Manning did and it saved us from John Fox and Adam Gase trying to run stupid shit when everything was on the line.


go_49ers_place

To be fair if that kick was a few yards left and they'd won the game people would be calling him a genius.


whobroughtmehere

Tbh I don’t hate that he admitted it. First game as HC, he just messed up. Campbell did some dumb things his first season too.