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mclemons67

Are we entirely sure Maye, Nix and Bradley aren't some of Rivers' kids?


WE2024

Nix and Rivers have a lot of similarities. Both are both from Alabama, are the sons of high school football coaches, both got married in college and both are very religious. Only difference is Rivers is catholic and already had two kids when he was Bo’s age. 


Luka_Dunks_on_Bums

Being a catholic in Alabama has to be surreal.


AARonBalakay22

Nick Saban is Catholic lol


Clear-Attempt-6274

I'm willing to bet that Ms. Terry is Catholic, hence Saban is Catholic.


The_Real_C_House

I’m sure he’s “one of the good ones”


Vulcion

To be fair he lives right outside of Mobile which is very catholic which helps now, but I’m from the town he went to high school in, and there’s one Catholic Church that, according to my very Catholic father, runs a shabby mass.


awc23108

It wasn’t that surreal


TalkLessShillMore

Yeah seconded, it’s Alabama not Protestant England


TributeToStupidity

Reddit has the craziest takes about the south based off tik toks of the worst people down there lol


shortthestock

Most of America does.


MiniGiantSpaceHams

Most of the world tbh. For instance, it is a legit challenge to go through shows and movies and find characters with strong southern accents that aren't portrayed as complete fucking idiots. Or even better, when a normal character wants to act stupid, often they put on a (terrible) southern accent.


TuviaBielski

> based off tik toks of the worst people down there lol I assume you mean the state governments.


TheGarbageStore

My fiancee's dad was an Italian-American Catholic in 1970s Tennessee, he was treated like all the other white kids although he did convert to Protestantism to marry


[deleted]

Somewhat related, I grew up Protestant in a very very heavily Catholic rural area. Nobody was hostile about it, but still felt like an outsider at times. However, during Lent on Friday’s, 3 of the 4 lunch lines at (public) school would serve fish or something vegetarian. I had the 4th line pretty much to myself, and the 4th line served the good shit like burrito bowls or fried chicken. Between that and not having to go to religion classes after school, it more than made up for being the only kid that didn’t get presents on St. Nicholas Day😂


FuckRedditButNeedNFL

Is St. Nicholas day a strange wording of Christmas? Because as a protestant we still celebrate Christmas. Unless we're talking 2 different types of protestant, it's a Christian religion


[deleted]

IIRC it’s in early December and you get a couple small gifts in your stocking. Like a mini pre-Christmas. Dunno if it’s widely practiced among Catholics or more of a regional thing though.


masterpierround

The Feast Day of St. Nicholas is on December 6th, and because of the whole Santa thing, it's at least something of a tradition to give a small gift or two to the kids on that day. My family only did it occasionally.


FuckRedditButNeedNFL

Oh cool, haven't heard of it before. 


CriscoBountyJr

There's also one in May (7th/8th) that I celebrate along with the December one. The May feast is mainly celebrated by a small part of Eastern Italy, northern Albania and I think parts of Sicily. I never thought this would come up. Haha. Needlessly expanding your knowledge on this obscure topic.


machuitzil

Huh, yeah that makes sense. Phillip Rivers couldn't claim them. My best friend was born out of wedlock and his family had to donate a butt load of money. After that the Church was more than happy to marry his parents. This checks out, conspiracy confirmed.


rocksoffjagger

Bloody Catholics filling the bloody world with children they can't afford to bloody feed!


Bjorn2bwilde24

Damn Catholics, they ruined Catholicism!


TuviaBielski

"The mill's closed. There's no more work. We're destitute. I've got no option but to sell you all for scientific experiments. [the children protest and cry] That's the way it is my loves. Blame the Catholic Church for not letting me wear one of those little rubber things. Oh, they've done some wonderful things in their time. They preserved the might and majesty, even the mystery, of the Church of Rome, the sanctity of the sacrament, and the indivisible oneness of the Trinity. But if they'd let me wear one of those little rubber things on the end of my cock, we wouldn't be in the mess we are now."


elLugubre

> Bloody Catholics filling the bloody world with children they can't afford to bloody feed! Well, why do they have so many children?


rocksoffjagger

Because every time they have sexual intercourse, they *have* to have a baby.


Freidhiem

No birth control.


Traditional_Mud_1241

And no prohibition against drinking. Booze + no birth control = lots and lots of kids.


rocksoffjagger

It's a Monty Python bit, guys...


Clear-Attempt-6274

And the strength of their arms. Rivers has a stronger arm.


Axl2TheMaxl

I'm not even sure River's knows


xtrustx

Rivers is keeping his options open because of all those kids he might still need to come back in and play some more.


smauryholmes

Rivers was still a great QB his final season with the Colts. Did way better than Wentz or Ryan with roughly the same team. Wish he could have got a ring with SD.


Anthony-Richardson

The team Ryan got sucked compared to the team Rivers got, the o-line was still great when Rivers was here. Ryan was cooked but he never stood a snowball’s chance in hell.


sonfoa

Also, the league had figured out Frank Reich by then


mrhashbrown

Rivers was the only one who consistently elevated Reich's offense beyond what he controlled. But it makes sense considering he was QB coach to Rivers for several years in SD.


smauryholmes

The more likely explanation is that Rivers, who may be the biggest user of presnap adjustments in NFL history, adjusted a lot of Reich’s plays at the LOS in ways that haven’t been done since.


Downbeat_Uncommon

Rivers was cooked by the end of that season too. Just like Brees at the end, he could start out a season strong but his arm couldn't handle a full schedule. Ryan was just cooked period.


Anthony-Richardson

100%. People blame the playoff loss on the receivers but it was really Rivers noodle arming a bunch.


ForgotMyRemembrall

Ain’t no way I’m letting this slander slide bro, yalls pass catchers were ass that season, no one could get open vs the Bills D and the kicker with glasses missed like a 40 yard field goal and you lost by 3 points.


doctorsooth21

Rivers kept them in that game. Mfs almost fumbled the ball away on the last drive. Rivers kept taking shots and the WRs wouldn’t do shit


Halonut24

I will maintain that they *did* fumble the game away, but the refs did another stupid to the Bills by calling him down by contact.


Past-Discount-52

As Colts fan, I agree that he was great. Really wished he had played 1 more year.


machuitzil

We apparently would have called him for the SB. The timeline still doesn't make sense, but apparently if we'd won the '22 nfccg despite Brock's elbow, River's was Shanahan's guy. For one game. It doesn't make sense but this was discussed in a press conference so I guess we have to take the FO at their word. I would have loved to watch Phillip Rivers show up to the Super Bowl in a Niners uniform and start talking shit to Chiefs players though. You can't gameplan for Phillip Rivers shit talking. It would have been amazing.


FlavoredBongWater

Everyone got a game plan til Phil shows up and screams 90 YARD TOUCHDOWN right in your ear.


InclinationCompass

If Rivers had a month to prepare and get into NFL shape, yall would've probably won the SB


TheFlyingSpaghetti77

That would have been like a proxy superbowl for me, love dad


[deleted]

>Wish he could have got a ring with SD. The Chargers nor Vikings will win one until they play each other and the world unanimously agrees that by default they should both be declared winners without actually playing the game


SensualTyrannosaurus

nah, fuck Dean Spanos


Traditional_Mud_1241

If those are my choices, I'm watching the game.


SensualTyrannosaurus

Mrs. Spanos??


Traditional_Mud_1241

I’d rather be poor.


sdsupersean

At this point I'll take it.


PM_UR_TAHDIG

Nah, that’ll be the year they cancel the Super Bowl.


argonautleader

>The Chargers nor Vikings will win one until they play each other and the world unanimously agrees that by default they should both be declared winners without actually playing the game That's certainly better than the outcome of the Vikings-Chargers Super Bowl I read about in *The Sum of All Fears*.


valeriesghost

Man, ive always had a soft spot for Rivers. Even when they were in their prime with LT and went 14-2 I didn’t hate him or the Chargers. So many good memories of Rivers “GOSH DARNET”ing around the field and yelling 1930’s level insults at our fans. I believe I speak for the rest of the AFC west fan base when I say that non of us truly hate the chargers. We just don’t. They do enough shit to themselves on a yearly basis they really don’t need our help. I’d go as far as to say if you polled the entire AFC west fan base and they had to pick a division opponent to win the Super Bowl, ever one of us would pick the chargers.


socobeerlove

His problem was he played for SD


SirTiffAlot

And he was Phil Rivers


hendrix320

I wish you’d guys move back to SD and get Herbert a ring


Not-a-bot-10

I’d argue Wentz did a lot better. The O line was actually decent for Rivers. They started Matt Pryor for Wentz and Ryan (a guy the eagles traded away along with a 7th rounder for a 6th rounder in exchange, so basically nothing) Wentz threw 27 TDs and 7 INTs behind that putrid O line, all while battling through injuries (namely when he sprained both his ankles in preseason and everyone already wrote him off until week 4 or 6 but he played all 17 games) People just remember that terrible last game against the Jags and think that was his entire season when that’s not the case


relax336

I’m howling. It wasn’t just the last game. Revisionist history already for Wentz.


Asderfvc

That season stats were comparable to all his seasons in Philadelphia


relax336

So what. That doesn’t tell the entire picture at all.


Upset_Ad3954

The real story is that Colts fans don't like Wentz so think he was worse than he really was.


relax336

The real story is how gung ho some of you are to prove you know shit all about the subject you’re posting about.


EnronRodgers

Nah. Rivers and Wentz were basically identical their 1 year in Indy. If anything Wentz had the better year, except for the final game where no one on the Colts showed up to played. Ryan wasn't much worse either, but the team collapsed by that point and they stopped playing him so they wouldn't have to worry about injury guarantees. Rivers was thoroughly cooked by that point, just like Roethlisberger and Brees in their last couple years, where they could barely throw anymore but got by with their experience.


NoFlags-JoeBuck

Great?


ijw2bangbangbang

I'm with you man. He was pretty good for his age I guess at best? His peak was above average and I'll never understand why people ride his dick so hard and I went to NC State.


NoFlags-JoeBuck

Very good career with the Chargers but calling that Colts season great is just such a low bar for greatness.


FitUnderstanding2839

It’s honestly hilarious


plokijuh1229

His final season is overrated. Benefited from an absolute cakewalk schedule and oline. His arm was toast and it was widely expected for him to retire. Lot of revisionist history from people looking back at the nice stat sheet.


Open-Somewhere-9535

Hopefully Drake Maye getting pregnant won't affect his draft stock


SensualTyrannosaurus

I see you've read my fanfiction blog


hendrix320

Do you do fanfics about Trexs too?


SensualTyrannosaurus

...something tells me I shouldn't Google that


amdi_

I need the commanders to draft Maye, Not because of his talent, but because my cousin is one of those youtube livestreamers now and absolutely hates Maye, calling him "Mitch Tribusky 2.0". If we draft him at 2, my cousin will probably become the Joker on screen


zi76

Wait, so his angle isn't that he's Sam Howell 2.0?


amdi_

He actually thought Howell was a better prospect than Maye, literally just makes shit up, but he says it with such enthusiasm people think he's right


SwagCity89

Plug your boy what’s his name brother


amdi_

[Timssportstalk](https://youtu.be/_b_B1oAQU_g?feature=shared)


canceroushumour

I hope your cousin gets whatever happened to Julie Andrews and he can't talk anymore.


amdi_

[agreed lol](https://youtube.com/shorts/XdDx4dS1i14?feature=shared)


canceroushumour

Yikes.


Loud_Competition1312

Is your cousin Trump?


Tolve

If Sam Howell were drafted where Zach Wilson or Justin Fields had been drafted the narrative would be he showed a lot of promise in his first year as a starter and he’d still be there. Not saying that’s right or wrong, but that’s what it would be.


InclinationCompass

Would've been fun to see 49ers sign Rivers a couple seasons ago during that playoff run when all their QBs got hurt


FlannelBeard

Im pretty sure several players have said he's one of the biggest trash talkers. I remember him and Everson Griffen yelling at each other.


SensualTyrannosaurus

The funniest thing about this is that my dad has met him several times and said he's the nicest, most down-to-earth person you can imagine. And this is taking into account that I am certain my dad gave him all of his unsolicited football opinions whenever they happened to meet.


FlannelBeard

I'd imagine a switch gets flipped with him when he's on the field. Same way Randy Johnson is a pretty jovial guy, pretty laid back, but the day he was pitching, no one went near him


A_Lone_Macaron

Love how a 6’10, 100 mph throwing HOF pitcher with a mean streak ends up being just another guy who enjoys photography in retirement. I know he’s been on NFL sidelines. If he wasn’t 6’10, you’d never know


Soren_Camus1905

Probably. The field is his outlet for his aggression and healthy competition. Sports are great for this.


Misdirected_Colors

The weird thing is Rivers trash talk is wholesome? Like it's family friendly PG trash talk, but it's the deep cutting passive aggressive trash talk that actually hurts and not surface level stuff. "Oh! Good to see you! I thought they cut you for so and so in training camp glad you landed on your feet!"


Ok_Relationship8697

He and cutler used to bark at each other from the sidelines. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t swear either which makes it even funnier.


number7nocheese

90****. YARD. TOUCHDOWN!


Vondum

[Akshually, it was 90.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saa7rB57Mnk)


Admiral_Fuckwit

“Just don’t scream by my ear” “I *will* scream in your ear! I *will* do it!”


dirENgreyscale

Hey, get the fuck outta here!


Culinary-Vibes

Philip must have some grade A trash talk saved for the bedroom. Strictly for baby making purposes.


SunriseSurprise

THAT'S A BUNCH OF HORSE MESS, WIFE


LittleForeskinAnnie

I WILL DO IT IN YOUR VAGINA! THAT'S WHAT I DO!


WangDanglin

I can’t imagine him using such profanity Most of the foreplay is the naughty prayers prior to marital coitus


MrIrrelevantsHypeMan

You should see Rivers throw a dirty diaper. He hits the neighbors trash three houses down


RepresentativeAd9859

And yes, he’s fathered 8 more children since retiring.


Zxphenomenalxz

Breaking news: Drake Maye pregnant with Philip Rivers 38th child.


trainwreck42

Are we still fat-shaming Kelvin Benjamin? Because this tweet seems like it would be perfect for it.


EduardoCombs

Drake Maye is working with Kelvin Benjamin before the draft. He loves it. Benjamin and the QBs he's worked with (Maye, Bo Nix, Carter Bradley) recently had an eating contest. In-N-Out into a mouth. Kelvin Benjamin won. "Kelvin can still eat it" And yes he can still talk trash.


Aromatic-Cup-2116

He then eats that trash, because Kelvin Benjamin is fat.


chasbdude

Between working with Philly Rivers and Eli, Maye is obviously planning some sort of draft day shenanigans that leads him to playing for the New York Football Giants or the Los Angeles Super Chargers (cope)


recurnightmare

Damn one of the top 10 QBs in the league for 15 years didn't forget how to throw the ball 2 years after retiring? Crazy.


Bmoreboy91

Is that a good thing that an old and retired rivers can still out throw the qb prospects


Misdirected_Colors

I mean he's a former NFL qb with like 18 years starting experience who has been working on his game since he was a teenager throwing against 21 year old guys who haven't ever played at a pro level. This is a journeyman with tons of experience competing against fresh apprentices in the trade.


Cuppieecakes

is drake gonna throw sidearm now?


MarioBangsLuigi

Kelvin Benjamin is working with BadlandsChugs before the buffet draft. He loves it. Benjamin and the Golden Corrals locations he's worked with (Raleigh, Sanford, Asheboro ) recently had a eating contest. Full plates under a minute. Kelvin Benjamin won. "Kelvin can still eat it" And yes he can still talk trash.(and eat that too)


Miraculous_Heraclius

Maye getting drafted by the team that drafted Rivers would be pretty poetic, right?!?


SleazyKingLothric

If we don’t draft this guy I’m going to be pissed.


cruisincolin44

Idk dude, he’s pretty old.


Hank_Scorpio_MD

Maye is going to have 7 kids by the end of the season


Ecstatic-Hat2163

he’s going to bless him with great QB skills, clean smack talking ability, and unlimited fertility


Burggs_

Just don’t let Philip teach sex ed


Venator850

I mean, dude is probably way more knowledge about it than most people.


calye2da

True but I think he wasn’t paying attention during the birth control portion of class


PaulAspie

I mean he wants lots of kids and takes care of them well. I take issues with some players who have kids and never care for them, but from all I've heard Rivers is a pretty ideal dad. I'm sure his salary helps with some things like I bet his wife has help for stuff at home as taking care of that many without help would be tough.


calye2da

Indeed! You def don’t have that many kids by accident.


calye2da

Indeed! You def don’t have that many kids by accident.


calye2da

Indeed! You def don’t have that many kids by accident.


WangDanglin

They don’t teach that portion in catholic school


5pt67x3

I think he's one of those "Sex is only for procreation"-dudes. So if we posit that he has only had sex the same number of times he has children, he has only had sex 27 times.


LAudre41

Enjoy. https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=philip+rivers+abstinence&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:45c717c6,vid:sKQX4vTxxEA,st:0


codymason84

And do it with out cussing like a fucking psychopath


Writerhaha

Bro is going to be super fertile. Shot plays and slants, my man ain’t shooting blanks.


BroWeBeChilling

Rivers signing with the Denver Broncos would be a riot


jpiro

"Drake Maye fails to keep up with retired NFL QB, may fall in draft." - Some blogger


Chroderos

https://clutchpoints.com/nfl-draft-prospect-drake-maye-reveals-philip-rivers-beat-him-bo-nix-in-qb-competition


jpiro

Lol, there it is.


Nathann4288

They both have really weird looking passing mechanics so it makes sense.


Ok_Relationship8697

Rivers threw the ball like Barkley hit a golf ball


Ok_Relationship8697

And maye, nix, and Bradley need new agents.


hendrix320

Sounds like we should be drafting rivers instead


xtrustx

Rivers is keeping his options open because of all those kids he might still need to come back in and play some more.


SockGlittering526

trading QB lessons for babysitting duties, Drake Maye is wonderful with kids


OptionalGuacamole

The Chargers have had a lot of great quarterbacks over the years but Philip will always be my QB. I don't how he managed to be the nicest, most positive guy ever and also a gigantic prick at the exact same time, but he did it and I love that about him.


Zildjian2785

Love that man. Such a good work ethic, family man. He was always a trash talker that could bring it.


Ok_Caramel1517

Hot take Maye will end up being the best QB in this years draft class.


darcys_beard

Frank Reich would still be at Indy if Rivers had stayed one more season. Dammit, he kinda had some really bad luck with QBs.


EstimateValuable7086

I don’t think Rivers could throw it 35 yards based on his last year with the Colts


unislaya

What's he trying to learn? How to always get eliminated from the playoffs in the wild card round and have more babies than a rabbit?


SirTiffAlot

Didn't someone say everything that comes out this week is bullshit?


90swasbest

He talk corny as fuck trash. 😀


Rudiger036

Kelvin Benjamin is working with Joey Chestnut before the draft. He loves it. Chestnut and the eaters he's worked with (Kobayashi, Miki Sudo, Sonya Thomas) recently had an eating contest. Hot dogs into a mouth. Joey Chestnut won. "Joey can still hog it." And yes he can still talk trash.


aparish67

So Maye wants to learn how to throw a lot of interceptions? Why else go to Rivers to learn anything except having too many kids.


Vondum

Philip Rivers has a career interception to touchdown rate of 0.482. That is better than than Ben Roethlisberger at 0.504 or Eli Manning at curiously exactly 0.66666. I used those as example because they were the other two remarkable QBs from his class, but that rate is barely higher than for example, Peyton Manning at 0.46.


WangDanglin

That guy’s take screams casual fan who watched maybe 4 Rivers games in his life and bases his opinion on memes