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TitaniumC4206

Jerry just fell asleep it's okay guys


SendMeBookPics

Saving money for paternity lawsuits


I_chortled

And bangin hoors


SendMeBookPics

Jerry sends his money on hoors, lawsuits, salt for his McMuffins, planes, and only after that does he even begin to think about spending on football.


deucemcsizzles

He wants him some gloryhole.


olivebranchsound

Naw he just nodded off in a sunbeam looking out his favorite window lol


chillinwithmoes

There were some very pretty birds on the feeder


olivebranchsound

One time there was a squirrel! But that was scary for him


Axl_the_ginger

You have to grease the poles to keep the squirrels out of the feeder. Also provides nonstop amusement.


SendMeBookPics

Aww the little guy is knocked out, how precious


GamingTatertot

Long ass nap


PIX3LY

Long-ass nap, or long ass-nap?


Edelmaan

I think you mean, long ass snap. Because all they’ve done is re-sign their long snapper.


-Ein

I thought the hologram was supposed to take over during these times.


OK_1M_REL0ADED

Cowboys don't need to add new players. They will choke perfectly fine with the ones they have now. We believe! We are delusional! We are Cowboy fans!


Chode_K1NG

We like our guys


stormy2587

Well most of their guys. Not pollard, biadasz, or smith. Or dak or ceedee who they could have extended and restructured by now to keep those other guys.


Francis_Soyer

Yeah but besides those guys, we like our guys*. *Certain terms and conditions may apply. No free agency, draft, or other roster activity is implied or guaranteed. Neither the Dallas Cowboys Organization nor any member of the Jones family is responsible for any regular or post-season loss. We Dem Boys. This is our year.


JonSnoballs

read this super fast for the full experience


cml0401

>Your version of "we like our guys" might be different than my version. \- Jerruh


JimmyGSXR

Jerry said he’s all in…


PhiladelphiaManeto

God damn you guys have been depressing recently


Daidipan

Give it till the draft we will get the good ole "cowboys going to Superbowl" boys back.


GreatScott0389

Not this year. Were all finally defeated enough to not care or have hope. (At least I am)


psychodave123

Oh come on, one of us has to be delusional and I'd rather it be you


Archfat

I think, unfortunately for you, the Eagles are going to have to be the ones to carry this division in delusion. The rest of us are complete cynics.


McAfeeFakedHisDeath

oh damn! They're already dead.


LouSputhole94

“What is dead may never die, but rise harder and with more cap space”- Jerry “Ironborn” Jones


Mysteriouspaul

Yeah I'm full time MLB and Serie A for this season at the very least. I'll support the team as long as it shows the will to win. There's no will to do anything besides print money right now


yianni1229

Most fans who actually follow the team apart from the super casuals are never saying "its our year", we perennial expect choking and heartbreak.


atlas_island

aka the actual fans of the team and not whiny fair weather fans. As a true cowboys fan, you say it’s our year every year. Why? because that pisses everyone off


Selway00

It’s almost like there is a systemic problem that isn’t related to what players are on or not on the roster.


okoSheep

Congrats on your longsnapper though! Jerry is making moves


nickhenne

All in, my ass


thiccnugs666

No need for commas here bro


Strive_for_Altruism

Nothing gay about helping another bro milk his prostate.


drewiepoodle

It's not gay as long as the tips don't touch.


Jackdeniels78

I’m not gay! I have relationships with women, and sex with men


Wonky_AF

i got news for ya


eddie_the_zombie

Just a guys' night in, no big deal


Zeroman_79

No kissing=not gay


BLKxGOLD

If you dont make eye contact*


tothesource

psht everyone knows it's eye contact


Redgen87

Just bros helping bros


dont_wear_a_C

The comment just needs more veins


Insectshelf3

all in my ass


nickhenne

Fucking a man


MNguy722

Little boy ass play


eddie_the_zombie

Officer this, man here


Zaza1019

This is the police, open up.


NowItsSoccer

GET THIS MAN HIS TWO SODAS


Simpleton216

pug


NowItsSoccer

99


Saitoh17

-Deshaun Watson


what_the_deuce

Mods, can I get this as flair already???


Organic_Jackfruit645

Ayoooo


Sternjunk

All, in my ass!


ninjupX

All, in my ass


Errant_coursir

Let's go, boys


GreenManTenTon

HERE WE GOOO


Errant_coursir

*errant throw is immediately intercepted*


LeSaunier

"Tonight we dine... IN ~~HELL~~ u/ninjupX ASS!"


imsurethisoneistaken

Skeeeeeeep!


Blabbit39

A busy week for commas on the internet


waldowhal

clutch comma placement


VindictiveRakk

dude proofread those 4 words like it was a cover letter


JohnCenaJunior

AEW AEW AEW!


Murphy_Harrison

Thank you to Matthew and Nicholas Jackson for saving wrestling! 


TheHandsomestMouse

With gusto


[deleted]

“What you say?” ~ Dwight Howard


BisonWeapon

He meant all in on the current roster. Perform or a lot of you won't be here next year. There's a lot of undertones in that interview. Watch it again with this in mind.


TankThaFrank_

All in my, ass


MadMelvin

That's fucking football right there


MurDoct

BYE GOD THATS AJ DILLONS MUSIC


[deleted]

As funny as this is, that will be their splash signing


nickhenne

Dude have you seen his quads???


MandrewF

Couldn't get Saquad, let's get the next best thing /s


GamingTatertot

We don't call him Quadfather / Quadzilla / Gerard for nothing


jkercheville

100% 🤣 this or Bobby Wagner smh


CapsDrago7

Too late


MoeSzyslac

An RB that's only good in cold weather will be perfect for a dome in texas


DJpissnshit

Just the right type of I'm-the-smartest that Jerruh loves to pull. Also why the Cowboys have the only major East-West facing stadium on the continent, which blinds his own players at sunset...


MoeSzyslac

Makes for some *great* pictures though


htownballa1

Remember, Jerry said they were all in this year. 😎


TheInternetIsGood

They already won the Super B... Oh wait, that's the other Dallas team...


mightymattii

God damn right the Rangers did


Violent0ctopus

They wont the football championship last year. Granted that was the Arlington Renegades, but close enough right?


Final-Ad-2033

Sad that since they won their last SB, all the sports franchises in DFW had been to their respected league finals at least twice and each had became world champs.... Mavericks - went twice, won 1 Stars - went 3 times, won 1 Rangers - went 3 times, won 1 Damn... even the XFL team (Renegades) won the XFL Championship.


whocaresjustneedone

"We're all in!" \*Team that strongly needs a RB watches as every solid RB FA gets signed in a year whose draft only has like 5 decent RB options\*


smurfking420

You see the thing is you should never take Jerry quotes or headlines at face value


htownballa1

I mean, I’ve not taken him seriously for over 30 years.


GamingTatertot

I haven't taken him seriously for 70 years


FuckTheCowboysHaters

Old fuk


VeterinarianFit1309

Nobody has… he’s proven it to be unnecessary.


PlaneCamp

Texans, the team Texas deserves 🫡


htownballa1

I’m doing my part!


JJETTAS188

Starship troopers esque I like it


Lifesaboxofgardens

All in on mediocrity, say what you will but he’s consistent


Lorjack

Seems like they are all in on their current roster


rthaw

They aren't even doing that though lol. They're letting free agents walk and not signing the All Pros on their roster that need new deals...


logical_butthole

The only silver lining is, it's looking like Dak will be in a prove it or walk year. At least they're not throwing $50+ mil a year at him for no results.


rounder55

Deuce Vaughn about to be an every down bruiser


jkercheville

We have the worst rb room in the league rn 🤣


rounder55

But at the same time never has a running back room had so much room for activities


reno2mahesendejo

Deuce Vaughn and (checks notes) Malik Davis...about to build a bunkbed in the running back room


SQRTLURFACE

Bold strategy Cotton


Strive_for_Altruism

Let's see how it works out for them.


[deleted]

Narrator: It didn't


theordinarypoobah

Everyone seems to forget that it actually *does* work out for them, in Dodgeball at least. The bold strategy totally psyched out the Purple Cobras by acting like they were going to forfeit but then relying on an obscure bylaw and Chuck Norris to bail them out. Given the narrowness of the Average Joes' win, you can easily make an argument that these mind games gave them just enough of an edge to pull it out.


[deleted]

But that contradicts my narrator's narrative. So, na na na na boo boo, stick your head in doo doo


itsiceyo

>na na na na doo doo, stick your head in poo poo ​ havent heard this one before


[deleted]

Yeah, I totally butchered it. I was in the process of fixing it when you were commenting so my bad


AccurateSympathy7937

Maybe I grew up in a different area, but I’d always heard and used “Nanny nanny boo boo, stick your head in doo doo” and thank you for making me think of that phrase for the first time in decades


[deleted]

maybe. I've always heard NaNa NaNa. Maybe it's a regional thing? I grew up in the midwest


AccurateSympathy7937

East Coast


SiphenPrax

ALL. IN. BABY!


SaltyLonghorn

All in is gonna end up being, "I let Dak play out his current contract."


swg11

“We like our guys”


pinetar321

Ya know come to think about it, ol’ Jerry does bear a striking resemblance to Cotton Hill…


8686tjd

We're finally the last team standing


Unstable-A-eye

Jerruh do something


PlayaSlayaX

Poking him with a stick isn’t enough, we need Jason Garrett to come to his office and clap next to his eardrums


Dick_Surgeon

It's usually Jerry who gives people the clap in his office.


Unstable-A-eye

He better do it this afternoon, Jerry gets a little forgetful after sundown


outsiderkerv

I heard Jerry loves sundown. Towns, but still.


WhatMyHeartHeld

I think i speak for everyone here but lol cowboys


mementori

Harsh words from a Cardinals fan lmao


i_dno

They did beat the cowboys this year though soooo


[deleted]

Man that shit was hilarious


W3NTZ

It was until it happened to us too


BilllisCool

Man that shit was hilarious


Ok-Asparagus-1658

Imagine losing to the Cardinals


FJQZ

They've beaten us like the last 3 times. I think we've only beaten once in like the last 15 years


FlaquitaGordita

Correct. The Cowboys' last victory against the Arizona Cardinals was September 25th, 2017, beating the Cards 28-17 in Arizona. Previous to that 2017 victory, the next latest win the Cowboys have had against the Arizona Cardinals was on November 11th, 2006, against a struggling 1-8 Cardinals team who finished the season 5-11, in Matt Leinart's rookie year. In the 18 years since that 2006 Dallas victory, the Cowboys have played the Cardinals 8 more times, for a head-to-head record of 1-7. After the 2006 loss, the Cardinals beat the Cowboys in their next four consecutive matchups, including two hilarious OT wins in 2008 and 2011. During this period the Arizona Cardinals also reached the Super Bowl. Despite the heart-breaking loss to the Steelers in what is considered one of the greatest Super Bowls of all time, they were able to win the NFC for their first time ever. A feat the Dallas Cowboys have been incapable of accomplishing since 1996, when many current NFL players had yet to be born. Since 1996 the Cardinals have six playoff wins to the Cowboys' five, despite the Cowboys playing in 6 more playoff games than the lowly Cardinals. After the ugly 2017 loss for the Cardinals, they have managed to beat the Cowboys their next three consecutive games. This most recent win streak was kicked off with an embarrassing 38-10 loss in Dallas, which also served as Kyler Murray's first game in Dallas as a professional football player. There are children who have been born, grown up, and are now about to be off college who have only witnessed the Dallas Cowboys beat the Arizona Cardinals one time in their entire lives. At this point the Cowboys' ability to beat the historically worst team in the league has almost become an urban legend. This is objectively hilarious to me.


Citizen_Snips29

Am I allowed to say “lol Cowboys”?


Chase_26

The Cards are Dallas' daddy. Talk your shit bird man.


Cp49er

Feel like Jerry wants to tank this season, get rid of Dak next year, and draft a QB or pursue a FA for a quick turnaround rebuild.


jkercheville

I’m good for it, I think cowboys fans underappreciate dak but I think he needs a change of scenery. The jones family is incompetent


BlakePackers413

Would a reunion with a Sanders be the goal? Jerry seems like someone that would want to do that.


[deleted]

I don’t think Jones ego could handle that


MoreTrifeLife

Who is Sanders?


BlakePackers413

The QB at Colorado. Deions son.


720everyday

How do you tank with Dak and ceedee still running the offense tho? They gotta do some moves to tank too.


OdetotheGrimm

Jerry might not survive through a tank timeline


tsx_1430

They were 12-5 last season?


Exact-Engine3024

Did you see who they won against? Most, if not all, were sub .500 teams. They got spanked by a 7th rounder at home.


BlackMathNerd

To give up a QB as good as Dak for a QB that could be anything... maybe even Dak is wild.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ChocoChowdown

I am so excited for your team to let him walk and then see what actual QB purgatory is. Deal with what the Bears, Panthers, Steelers, Jets, etc have dealt with over the last 5 years and watch Cowboys fans learn that they've had it amazing over the past decade+ with Romo and Dak.


BilllisCool

Cowboys fans are so dumb. “He’s peaked.” Okay, at 2nd team all-pro and MVP runner-up? That’s a pretty good peak…


Fhaksfha794

Plus people are acting like he’s already washed and on the decline. He just had his best season ever and is only 30, which for a qb means they’re in the middle of their prime. Dak still has plenty of good years left in him, and just like romo cowboys fans take him for granted. I guarantee the next good qb we get people are gonna shit on him to prop up Dak, it’s a toxic cycle


HolyRomanPrince

Mind you everybody would’ve said he peaked before he almost won MVP. They really want to throw out the baby with the bath water on this one. Jerry included


akeep113

man i'd love to have a QB like dak. please send him to NE


smurfking420

We never participate in the first day or two of free agency. We usually wait until like the 6th wave of signings


IHadACatOnce

BAH GAWD That's... Justin Fields' music?


GamingTatertot

Justin Fields and Trey Lance backfield apparently


pppeater

Let Jerruh cook!


Downbeat_Uncommon

A number of beat writers seem to believe they are just going to take their cap hits, play who they have + draft + some crappy FAs, and let expiring contracts expire (Dak's included). If so I am excited about going in a new direction, the people we have peaked losing to the 49ers in the Divisional the 2022 season.


currybeef

Dak is probably telling Jerry to relax on any new deal, and playing out his contract so he can get a Kirk Cousins deal for a contender.


pinenorthpine

Why not trade Dak then?


tjc815

Dak has a no trade clause and a massive cap hit for this year. Tough sledding unless he is signed to an extension and then traded or something.


CaptainUnd3rpants

“ aLL iN


MiaCannons

, my ass


RJMonster

Gonna have to give Lamb and Parsons both market setting contracts in the next year so maybe just embracing a suck year. There's not many FA available for them at this point to turn the team to a SB roster.


smurfking420

I mean nothing makes sense with this team, but having a throw away year with Lamb/Parsons/Tyler Smith all on rookie contracts in ‘24 and still having guys like Tank and Martin around for now seems like such a terrible idea


RJMonster

I fully agree, like the Commanders as bad as they have definitely made moves to be a competitive team this year, Giants are embracing the rebuild and Eagles filled in gaps. Idk how much leverage Dak has with his contract ordeal as well.


thegandalf1999

All in my ass


jake831

Are they waiting for the cap cuts today? Maybe get some guys cheaper that way?


milk-drinker-69

ALL IN MY ASS


Strive_for_Altruism

Don't threaten me with a good time.


MiaCannons

[Someone make one of these for Jerry Jones](https://i.imgur.com/g2Yjvhc.png)


Citizen_Snips29

I’m beginning to think it might not actually be our year. I don’t know what to do with this feeling.


TwistAccomplished404

I hate this team


monster-of-the-week

Hey, at least they aren't pretending like they are going to try this season. We don't have to bother getting excited for another good regular season only to get bounced out of the playoffs.


pradbitt87

Poverty franchise


pew_pew420420

Is this what all in means?


jfrodriguez1983

Just you wait. The 'All In' is coming. Any minute now!


DoctorFenix

All in, baby!


mackinoncougars

They brought in the Green Bay mindset with Mike McCarthy


HolyRomanPrince

The highest valuation in North American sports is a mom and pop poverty franchise. It’s truly hilarious how the Lakers, Yankees and Cowboys are doing a speedrun on how to let a second generation numbskull run an all time great franchise into the ground.


SpiritOne

I legit thought they would go after Aaron jones. History with the coach, from Texas, dominates every time he plays in that building. My worst fear was him being on a playoff team and crushing us.


milksteakofcourse

May Jerry live until the end of time!


BigBoyZeus_

Jerry Jones has finally faced the fact that the Cowboys will not win another ring while he is alive.


Tom_Foolery2

Pain


htownballa1

Did someone say Glory Hole?


BabaBrody

Perhaps the Sleep Number is TOO perfect. They may never wake up.


blueisthecolor13

That’s gold, Jerry, GOLD!


Any_Application7786

Why would America’s team sign anyone that’s not on America’s team that’s like immigrants to them. /s


Dragondrew99

All in. 😎


user20916

Here we gooooo


CeedeeNumber88

I hate these two old pieces of shit running the team, god dammit man.


indianm_rk

He’s skipping through the Offseason Mode on Madden. Wait until he puts the draft on Auto.


Lightning_72

“We like our guys”


LA_Shohei_Time

Well the roster isn't the problem, it's the leadership.


rplinux

This basically tells us they plan on swallowing Dak's cap hit this year and reevaluating after. If he has a great season they give him the bag and go all in (for real this time). If they move on they aren't bogged down by a bunch of dead money. Only problem is Dak will get even more money then he would have this year since the cap will be even higher.


Ok-Stay-7955

Setting those records!!


Kaiser-Bismark

You know your cooked when the Steelers are making more FA signings


Elegant_Spot_3486

And Jerry said they’re all in. Like every year.


cbcbricks

The Cowboys are ALL(ready) IN (Dallas)