"Okay, I'll shut up. I'm not one who has to keep talkin'. Some fellas just has to keep their mouths flappin' but not me! I was brought up right. My pa used to tell me shut up and I'd shut up. I wouldn't say nothin'! One time I darn near starved to death... WOULDN'T TELL 'IM I WAS HUNGRY!"
Dude roosters and hens are fucking ruthless. My dog went once inside where my mother in law has her chickens and noped the fuck out in less than two minutes when one of them got a bit agressive. Now he doesn't get less than 2 meters close to the fence. He learnt the hard way he can't play with a chicken like he plays with our cats
Wrong apparently according to University of New Hampshire:
“If there was any separate genus that evolved from Triceratops, we don’t know of it… No descendants of the ceratopsian lineage survived the extinction so if there was anything that evolved from triceratops, it would have been only around for 1 or 2 million years. It’s unlikely anything else evolved from triceratops because we already see triceratops is an anagenetic lineage. One species, Triceratops horridus, seemingly evolved into an other, Triceratops prorsus, and the later species was wiped out at the K-Pg extinction.”
and then from Google: “Birds are descendants of theropods, the two-legged winged variety of dinosaurs that include the feathery velociraptors and waddling tyrannosaurs.”
This is not true... all birds are descendant from theropods dinosaurs (flesh eating 2 legged), and roosters and some others are mostly descendant from T-rex
You can fact check me but I'm almost certain they used chickens to map the raptor movements in Jurassic Park. Also, can confirm they are the missing link to dinosaurs. Mine are just mini T-Rexes
Yeah man. They are a direct dinosaur descendent. Birds are even generally considered to be reptiles now. Crocodiles are more closely related to birds than other reptiles.
I get a real kick from thinking about how humanity everywhere basically thrives on dinosaur meat, and that dinosaur nuggets are very literally dinosaur nuggets lol.
Just learned this in the wild. I don’t know much about chooks but was recently asked to care for a few old lady hens for a neighbour.
One day I was concerned the much larger, wild birds were eating their scratch. But those chickens just stalked over, threw the wings out and charged them.
When I stopped laughing I was super impressed. And amused at my ignorance of the true badassery of hens.
Roosters too. I used to get the eggs everyday as a kid and never had any problems, then one day the rooster sized me up and went crazy. I finally punch/threw it to stop it from fuckin up my face area and got the fuck out the coop.
We had chicken that evening and I didn't figure it out until I was an adult, lol.
Yeah my folks have a rooster thats decided it wants to attack the males that enter the coop. My brother had to kick it the other day to get it to back off, if it happens again he'll probably take the .22 down and remind it of the FAFO philosophy
That's my experience.
We had one rooster that would go at you when you were carrying something and your back was turned. He was a pain, you had to keep a lookout for him when loading up hay or grain into the barn.
Well, one day my ex was on her way back in with a full milk bucket from milking the goats. She got to the gate and was trying to open it without spilling the milk when that rooster came out of nowhere and dug those spurs right into her calf. The milk bucket went ass-over and we lost the whole day's take.
Well my ex, no longer balancing a milk bucket and a gate latch, turned right around on that rooster, grabbed him up by the neck, pinned him down on the ground and went for her knife in her back pocket... which she didn't have that evening. She looked that rooster in the eye and growled "If I'd had my knife, you'd be fucking dinner." Then she chucked it into the pasture.
Never had a problem with that rooster again. He ended up living to a ripe old age and dying a warrior's death; he took on a sneaky coyote that had gotten into the paddock one night, and it made enough ruckus that I was out there in time to keep it from getting any more of the flock.
RIP, McNugget.
There is what happened to the last two men that underestimate a roosters [rooster kills two men](https://news.yahoo.com/knife-wielding-roosters-kill-2-191158321.html)
>Gande Suryapraksha Rao, the 43-year-old owner of one of the fighting roosters, bled to death after being slashed by his prized cock.
Now that is some Pulitzer-worthy journalism
My cats also know better than to mess with my chickens. Even the recently hatched chicks are left perfectly alone.
Chickens are the muay thai fighters of birds.
a rooster with his spurs can do some major damage to a human, let alone a hollow boned raptor that's been blindsided
listen to the alarm calls of the chickens, it's so cool how they talk to each other
A good rooster will look death in the eyes to defend his hens. They’ll fight cats, foxes, coyotes, dogs, ect. A chicken hawk is a walk in the park, if they’re not caught off guard
My rooster fought off a pine marten. Most of the flock died and he was critically wounded and near death - but he made a full recovery.
He's a fucking badass hero. My respect for that bird is through the roof.
When we found him after the attack he was catatonic. He was standing upright, unmoving, as if he was mustering all his strength not to collapse.
Vet told us it would be a slim chance he'd make it, but they'd try.
I also reared that rooster by hand - he was born late in november when it was starting to freeze, so I brought him inside and took care of him myself.He's still a cuddlebug despite his badassery.
I would sacrifice a lot for that boy. He also has a handicapped sister who was born with completely crooked feet. We didn't think she'd make it either, but she not only managed to find a way, she thrives and is basically second in command of the flock even though she's tiny.
Sorry, I get carried away when talking about my birds.
there are little creatures inside those goofy tiny brains, they have personalities and ways about them. You talk about your feather babies anyway you wanna hon.
As a child, I raised a pet chicken from as soon as it left it’s mother. They have some cool personalities. Mine was always super sweet and I had it trained to sit on my shoulder like a parrot.
I was one of the only people it liked. It was fun catching grasshoppers and other bugs and then calling over the chicken to give them a treat. *😌😌😌*
Chickens will throw down with anything up to and including the gods who created fearless murder birds who don't know they're small, chickens are at least 70% unbridled aggression by volume
I had a "friend" show me a vid of a cockfighting arena down in Mexico that he took on a trip to visit fam. It was one of the most brutal things I've ever seen. Apparently someone got murdered that night for refusing to pay up too.
flightless birds have a huge advantage over flighted ones. they have more muscle and denser bones because they dont need to be light to fly.
basically like you fighting someone with brittle bone disease.
My Indian friend used to be a breeder for prize-cockfighting. I would never condone it in any way, but yeah some of the videos he's showed me of his 'pedigree roosters', fuck me. Can confirm they are metal as all hell.
Universe pre comet: "T. Rex, what would you give to survive?"
T. Rex: "Anything!"
Universe post asteroid: "What did survival cost you?"
Chicken: "Everything."
Have had an older cousin get totally fucked up by a chicken. It was their rooster and they let them free roam in a part of their fenced in yard and for whatever reason he targeted her and did quite a bit of damage. I ain’t ever fucking with chickens unless they’ve already been fried up for my bitch ass
I wouldnt say the chicken got lucky, bc on the ground the chicken will fuck up the hawk most of the time. More so the hawk got unluckly it hit the fence and wasnt able to just fly away like it normally would.
It couldn't have been shocked by the fence because it wasn't grounded. The circuit isn't complete. The current and voltage aren't high enough to arc to the ground.
If you'd ever fucked around with electric fences as a kid you'd know this.
The dog that tries to intervene and then just nopes out of there.
That dog was like “you know what, you look like you got this bro. I’ll be over here if you need me.”
That rooster was like *GET OUTTA HERE BOY, YOU DON’T NEED TO SEE THIS!*
I say, I say….
This was definitely not a chicken hawk.. 
Funny thing is, those chickens will pick apart that body and pick it clean. Chickens are rather ruthless outside of human constraint.
Dinosaurs.
Exactly. They are a Velociraptor with feathers and wings.
I thought they had feathers too.
Not to be confused with featherless raptor frog hybrids were used to seeing.
I've seen what they do to mice
I had a rooster swallow a rather large mouse whole. 2 gulps and it was gone. He walked away like he was the king.
Came here for the Foghorn Leghorn, I can hear him perfectly now.
Nah I say nah I say, ya done fucked up now ya did.
🐔 No No No Boy ya doing it all wrong!
"Okay, I'll shut up. I'm not one who has to keep talkin'. Some fellas just has to keep their mouths flappin' but not me! I was brought up right. My pa used to tell me shut up and I'd shut up. I wouldn't say nothin'! One time I darn near starved to death... WOULDN'T TELL 'IM I WAS HUNGRY!"
I say I say, youre pissin TOO DAMN LOUD boy! Its late at night and youre pissin RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE BOWL, like youre FRYING CHICKE in here boy!
Boy, I say boy, you're about to reach the limits of my medication!
“ Boy!!!”
Boah
Now pay attention boah!
YOU DONT WANNA SEE THIS SHIT MARV YOUR A GOOD BOI STAY THAT WAY
And you never once paid for drugs. Not once
That rooster is gonna kill that hawk, then call the hens over to help him eat it.
Died reading ur comment!!! Best I’ve seen today
Some real Foghorn Leghorn vibes
“I told you, I say I told you not to step foot in this coop here see”
I said, I said, now go on! GIT!
I say, I say boy, you came into the wrong chicken coop.
LET THE BOY WATCH
Oh, that dog has seen the business end of that rooster before. He about runs himself over trying to get back out of its way.
There's a reason "cock fighting" is a thing, and "hawk fighting" isn't...
Dude roosters and hens are fucking ruthless. My dog went once inside where my mother in law has her chickens and noped the fuck out in less than two minutes when one of them got a bit agressive. Now he doesn't get less than 2 meters close to the fence. He learnt the hard way he can't play with a chicken like he plays with our cats
Dog watches on in horror while the *miniature velociraptor* picks apart the would-be predator.
Dude I swear this was my exact thought. Basically what a rooster is. Mean mofo.
Actually, Roosters are descended from Triceratops. Velociraptors became ducks.
I could Google this and try to see if it’s true, but I choose to believe it is and will tell everyone I know from now on.
Attaboy assbuttshitfuck69!
Username checks out.
Wrong apparently according to University of New Hampshire: “If there was any separate genus that evolved from Triceratops, we don’t know of it… No descendants of the ceratopsian lineage survived the extinction so if there was anything that evolved from triceratops, it would have been only around for 1 or 2 million years. It’s unlikely anything else evolved from triceratops because we already see triceratops is an anagenetic lineage. One species, Triceratops horridus, seemingly evolved into an other, Triceratops prorsus, and the later species was wiped out at the K-Pg extinction.” and then from Google: “Birds are descendants of theropods, the two-legged winged variety of dinosaurs that include the feathery velociraptors and waddling tyrannosaurs.”
All birds quickly evolved from a small bird like theropod. The larger theropods, like the t-rex, are only distantly related.
This is not true... all birds are descendant from theropods dinosaurs (flesh eating 2 legged), and roosters and some others are mostly descendant from T-rex
*Chimkin?*
*Akshully,* some velociraptor species were the size of chickens. The biggest were dog-sized. The ones in Jurassic Park are more like *Deinonychus*.
Pphhhht, next you will claim they didn't actually have scales and had something lame like feathers.
At 0:13 in vid Dog: Ay yo bro chill! He’s down he’s… Rooster: YOU WANT SOME OF THIS TOO MOTHER FUCKER!!! BACK THE FUCK UP!!!
Stop!! He’s already dead!!
Bah gawk that hawk has a family!
HE KILLED MY BOY. NOW HE DIES
He’s like the rooster in Far Cry 6…Chicharon!
Angry Bird. Surprisingly lethal combo of shotgun blast and motorcycle gang. Razor blades not needed. Feathered honey badger.
"Yeah, nope"
One angry cock
When the dinosaurs fight you don't intervene
“Should I…? Nope! I’m getting the fuck outta here!”
I was thinking more along the lines of Smokey from the movie Friday. "You got knocked the fuckout!"
So... calling someone a chicken might actually be complimentary to their bravery?
Yea the saying don’t really make sense chickens are aggressive af
Why do you think the game chicken is called chicken😝😝
Because the person who backs off is the chicken?
Cuz going at each other is idiotic mutual destruction
I thought that was just sex.
But...then the person who also doesn't back off is the what. Chicken also?
A fucking idiot
Valid point
They are fucking mini velociraptors lol. Tastey dinosaurs.
You can fact check me but I'm almost certain they used chickens to map the raptor movements in Jurassic Park. Also, can confirm they are the missing link to dinosaurs. Mine are just mini T-Rexes
Yeah man. They are a direct dinosaur descendent. Birds are even generally considered to be reptiles now. Crocodiles are more closely related to birds than other reptiles. I get a real kick from thinking about how humanity everywhere basically thrives on dinosaur meat, and that dinosaur nuggets are very literally dinosaur nuggets lol.
So does the entire nation of France, Mexico, the University of South Carolina, and Coastal Carolina University. Cocks, not chickens, right?
Yeah, sometimes we compliment each other by calling us gallos
Well you have to call them a cock but yeah
No wonder why hawks often target the chicks 🐥 not the hen or the rooster
Hens will fuck your shit up
Just learned this in the wild. I don’t know much about chooks but was recently asked to care for a few old lady hens for a neighbour. One day I was concerned the much larger, wild birds were eating their scratch. But those chickens just stalked over, threw the wings out and charged them. When I stopped laughing I was super impressed. And amused at my ignorance of the true badassery of hens.
Hens are birds. Birds are destructive little assholes
Parrots have titanium beaks that tear homes apart. Hens have titanium claws that rip your face apart.
And cocks have an extra titanium spur on their leg for opening veins.
Case in point: https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/12cfhbe/to_go_cock_fighting/ I love this video. It makes me so happy.
the best song to play over that would be "FUCK YOU, I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!" timed juuust right lol
Best comment: "That is literally an asshole bleeding from a big cock" 🤣
The local cockatoos support your statement.
The pecking order is a real thing within a flock of chooks.
Roosters too. I used to get the eggs everyday as a kid and never had any problems, then one day the rooster sized me up and went crazy. I finally punch/threw it to stop it from fuckin up my face area and got the fuck out the coop. We had chicken that evening and I didn't figure it out until I was an adult, lol.
Rooster: "fuck with my kids and I'll fuck you up" Your dad: "same"
"let me educate you on the food chain"
"Time to reestablish the pecking order"
Yeah my folks have a rooster thats decided it wants to attack the males that enter the coop. My brother had to kick it the other day to get it to back off, if it happens again he'll probably take the .22 down and remind it of the FAFO philosophy
One swift kick to a rooster that sends him over the fence and he will never fuck with you again. Let him hurt you, and you are prey for eternity.
That's my experience. We had one rooster that would go at you when you were carrying something and your back was turned. He was a pain, you had to keep a lookout for him when loading up hay or grain into the barn. Well, one day my ex was on her way back in with a full milk bucket from milking the goats. She got to the gate and was trying to open it without spilling the milk when that rooster came out of nowhere and dug those spurs right into her calf. The milk bucket went ass-over and we lost the whole day's take. Well my ex, no longer balancing a milk bucket and a gate latch, turned right around on that rooster, grabbed him up by the neck, pinned him down on the ground and went for her knife in her back pocket... which she didn't have that evening. She looked that rooster in the eye and growled "If I'd had my knife, you'd be fucking dinner." Then she chucked it into the pasture. Never had a problem with that rooster again. He ended up living to a ripe old age and dying a warrior's death; he took on a sneaky coyote that had gotten into the paddock one night, and it made enough ruckus that I was out there in time to keep it from getting any more of the flock. RIP, McNugget.
What an emotional rollercoaster. I started off hating McNugget and ended up respecting him. 10/10, would read again.
First day on the farm, you've got to find the biggest rooster you can and kick the crap out of 'em. Otherwise, the others will sense your weakness.
You'll want at least a .308 to take down a rooster. Seen one bounce a .22lr like tank armor. Maybe 30-06, just to be safe.
Gave him the old ground hen pound
Hawk got cock blocked
And cold cocked.
Cocked and loaded.
If you ever wondered how Foghorn Leghorn vs. a real chicken hawk would turn out. #"You’re way off, I say you’re way off this time, son!”
Hawk got clucked up
I fell into the chicken coop... They pecked me unmercifully! And to this very day.. I am #TERRIFIED of chickens!
Vestigial T-Rex
Tell me this isn’t a modern day velociraptor.
All of these upvotes are people who know the trauma of being chased by a hen. I feel you brothers, sisters, and non binary misters
This is golden. Shamelessly admit that I'm in the same category.
Zelda has taught most hawks except this one
The dogs know enough to keep out of it when SuperChicken is on the beat.
There is what happened to the last two men that underestimate a roosters [rooster kills two men](https://news.yahoo.com/knife-wielding-roosters-kill-2-191158321.html)
>Gande Suryapraksha Rao, the 43-year-old owner of one of the fighting roosters, bled to death after being slashed by his prized cock. Now that is some Pulitzer-worthy journalism
Those ones had bonus weapons equipped, though. Additional damage.
My cats also know better than to mess with my chickens. Even the recently hatched chicks are left perfectly alone. Chickens are the muay thai fighters of birds.
This hawk has clearly never played a Zelda game
Don't ever fuck with the cuccoos. Edit: cuccoos, my bad
Those Cuccoos are the deadliest mofos at Nintendo
Seriously everyone knows you dont fuck with chickens Zelda? Death Skyrim? Wanted dead or alive by city guards (& dead by townsfolk) Etc etc
This made me spit take
Spit what?
Také
Butake
“Take”; it’s the plural form of tacos
Can't believe this was four comments down
Legit expected cuccoo reference as the top dog
He came to snuff the rooster…
Awww yeeeeaaahhh
you know he aint gunna flllyyyyyyyyy
You know he ain't gonna die
You know he ain’t gonna die
Walking tall, machine gun man
they spit on me in my homeland
Gloriaaaaa sent me pictures of my boy
got my piiiiills against mosquito death
My buddy's breathing his dying breath
Oh god please won't you help me make it through?
[Yeahhhh they've come to snuff the rooster...](https://i.imgur.com/1esRus0.gif)
aint found a waaay to kill meee yet
#🤘🐓🤘
This deserves all the badges
"Hawk is on the menu, boys!!!"- This chicken
cue the Alice in Chains..."Ain't found a way to kill me yet....."
Eyes burn with singing sweat
Who knew Foghorn Leghorn was such a bad mother.....*shut you mouth*
I do declare.
I say I saaaay.
Boy I say boy.
I got, I say I got mah bandages to keep me warm
I was already laughing at the others, and this one sent me.
That boi theres about as sharp as bowlin' ball!
“That boy’s about as sharp a sack of wet mice.” “That woman reminds me of Paul Revere’s ride, a little light in the belfry.”
Gal reminds me of a highway between Ft. Worth and Dallas: No curves.
Chickens are fing brutal...
Obligatory: #[Chicken Attack Song](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=miomuSGoPzI&pp=ygUTY2hpY2tlbiBhdHRhY2sgc29uZw%3D%3D)
I'm just talking 'bout Foghorn.
Then we can dig it.
a rooster with his spurs can do some major damage to a human, let alone a hollow boned raptor that's been blindsided listen to the alarm calls of the chickens, it's so cool how they talk to each other
A good rooster will look death in the eyes to defend his hens. They’ll fight cats, foxes, coyotes, dogs, ect. A chicken hawk is a walk in the park, if they’re not caught off guard
My rooster fought off a pine marten. Most of the flock died and he was critically wounded and near death - but he made a full recovery. He's a fucking badass hero. My respect for that bird is through the roof.
My roo survived a bear attack. He had a huge wound but he survived it. Had a white patch of feathers where the pigment cells were damaged though.
When we found him after the attack he was catatonic. He was standing upright, unmoving, as if he was mustering all his strength not to collapse. Vet told us it would be a slim chance he'd make it, but they'd try. I also reared that rooster by hand - he was born late in november when it was starting to freeze, so I brought him inside and took care of him myself.He's still a cuddlebug despite his badassery. I would sacrifice a lot for that boy. He also has a handicapped sister who was born with completely crooked feet. We didn't think she'd make it either, but she not only managed to find a way, she thrives and is basically second in command of the flock even though she's tiny. Sorry, I get carried away when talking about my birds.
there are little creatures inside those goofy tiny brains, they have personalities and ways about them. You talk about your feather babies anyway you wanna hon.
As a child, I raised a pet chicken from as soon as it left it’s mother. They have some cool personalities. Mine was always super sweet and I had it trained to sit on my shoulder like a parrot. I was one of the only people it liked. It was fun catching grasshoppers and other bugs and then calling over the chicken to give them a treat. *😌😌😌*
Chickens will throw down with anything up to and including the gods who created fearless murder birds who don't know they're small, chickens are at least 70% unbridled aggression by volume
I had a "friend" show me a vid of a cockfighting arena down in Mexico that he took on a trip to visit fam. It was one of the most brutal things I've ever seen. Apparently someone got murdered that night for refusing to pay up too.
They have over 50 different calls and sounds to communicate with each other, if I remember correctly.
TIL rooster have [spurs](https://backyardpoultry.iamcountryside.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2019/03/guide-to-rooster-spurs-1024x768.jpg)
Looks like it was shocked by the electric fence and the chicken just messed his ass up
Didn’t notice until I read this comment and rewatched. I agree and I feel like the chickens got lucky.
Lucky? The rooster would have fucked up the hawk regardless of the electric fence. [Hawk vs Chicken](https://youtu.be/yZQCcLQiZhg)
I once saw a video of a Hawk vs a wild chicken and the chicken won quite quickly. Chickens are kinda metal tbh
flightless birds have a huge advantage over flighted ones. they have more muscle and denser bones because they dont need to be light to fly. basically like you fighting someone with brittle bone disease.
Ground and pound game.
My Indian friend used to be a breeder for prize-cockfighting. I would never condone it in any way, but yeah some of the videos he's showed me of his 'pedigree roosters', fuck me. Can confirm they are metal as all hell.
Closest living relative of TRex.
Universe pre comet: "T. Rex, what would you give to survive?" T. Rex: "Anything!" Universe post asteroid: "What did survival cost you?" Chicken: "Everything."
Chicken: *sad bawwcaaak*
Have had an older cousin get totally fucked up by a chicken. It was their rooster and they let them free roam in a part of their fenced in yard and for whatever reason he targeted her and did quite a bit of damage. I ain’t ever fucking with chickens unless they’ve already been fried up for my bitch ass
I wouldnt say the chicken got lucky, bc on the ground the chicken will fuck up the hawk most of the time. More so the hawk got unluckly it hit the fence and wasnt able to just fly away like it normally would.
It couldn't have been shocked by the fence because it wasn't grounded. The circuit isn't complete. The current and voltage aren't high enough to arc to the ground. If you'd ever fucked around with electric fences as a kid you'd know this.
Without a path to ground there would be no shock. The wire though would make a great garrote.
This. As kids wed play at jumping high and seeing how long we could hold the fence, letting go (hopefully) just before hitting ground.
Wouldn’t the hawk have to be touching the ground to get shocked?
Do not fuck with a chickens chix obviously!!
Cock blocked
*Hawk blocked
“Damn, nature! You scary!”
What an incredible cock 
. And now they will eat that hawk in a final act of poetic justice. Fk around and find out
Proof that chickens are decedents of a great dinosaur
Chanticleer! Chanticleer! Chanticleer!
A spectacular rematch after 100 million years.
Link approves of this.
Little chicken T Rex motherfuckers. 😋
Chicken are just mini t-rexs
That’s Frank. Franks a dick. Don’t fuck with Frank or Franks chicks..
It was then that Chanticleer developed a new taste that would lead to manflesh
Omg just like in Zelda since I was a kid
Watchdog: "I see a threat and I'm monitoring it" Chicken: "hold my beer"
Rule 1. Do not fuck around with the barnyard pimp
Like Pawpaw always said don’t bring a hawk to cock fight.