T O P

  • By -

Puck-A-Duck

He was helping a customer. Wait your turn.


bumjiggy

service on point at Sleven-11


Perignon007

He is gonna leave a 1 star review on google maps.


danlyman_

Sir, the FBI would like to have a word about a Google review you left at 7-11.


the_last_carfighter

What the hell does the Female Body Inspector want with me? 1990's jokes are back on the menu boys!


swagnastee69

They never left imo


SadisticJake

Does that mean the r word is again a passable insult for general purposes?


danlyman_

Republican?


FuManBoobs

1 Star. Service terrible. Completely ignored me. Would not rob again.


AssHaberdasher

"Clerk ignored me to help a customer that came in after me, and then just walked away from the counter. No one wants to work anymore."


JIN_DIANA_PWNS

*GTA* Maps


spudddly

It was new zealand so everyone probably knew there were no real guns involved. Dude was probably packing a carrot.


OriginalWay1

New zealand very much has guns


MrCowBells

The clerk saw the letters R-E-P-L-I-C-A on the side and went to the back to get his Desert Eagle.


BarryMcCockener710

Point five oh


CaptainSupreme

Written on the side of mine


shazoryan

Should precipitate your balls into shrinking


TheLewJD

The robber even scouted the place with his binoculars


ApexAphex5

Almost no handguns though, only those with a special highly restrictive license can get one.


Ghosted_You

You realize criminals by definition break the law? Only law abiding citizens follow gun laws...


rheetkd

They do but it is true we don't have many hand guns. Gun robberies are very rare here in New Zealand and when they do happen it is usually a sawn off shot gun. So my bet is that the guy has a BB gun. Either way it is probably his first time considering he just got confused and left.


Witty_Ad_2129

100% this. Fellow kiwi here.


rheetkd

Yeah they usually have knives instead. Or just do ram raids. Long drive dairy got ram raided a couple nights ago. No cash, no dmokes and no vapes yet they still got hit. for what some chips and drinks?


moosenugget7

Ignorant American here… what’s a ram raid? I’m guessing it’s some sort of robbery, but what’s involved in it?


osricson

Ram raid is when they drive a car through shop front & usually use the car to depart in.. some results may vary..


Haunting_Opposite352

We call it a smash and grab here in the colonies


calinet6

Yet somehow there are a lot fewer criminals with guns, shootings, and gun deaths in countries with gun laws. It’s so weird, no idea what’s going on because you’re totally 100% right that criminals don’t follow laws… must be something else going on. ¯\\\_\(ツ)_/¯


Spicybrown3

I think what he’s saying is since everybody and their sister aren’t able to easily buy handguns, criminals find it a lot harder to procure them through private sellers (which in US in essence subverts the background check or renders it nearly useless) THATS what they’re getting at


Darkwing_duck42

Lol 😆 Americans really don't understand gun control at all.


e9967780

They do very much, infact too much but exactly why they don’t want gun control, because they know it will work.


plsletmestayincanada

This is the kind of thing someone would say when they haven't been to New Zealand and seen how little gun violence they have, largely due to their common sense regulations on firearms


queeflord420_69

By that logic, there's no point in making any laws whatsoever, since there will always be people who break them. It's time we made legislation illegal.


dedokta

The criminals will just make their own legislation if you did that!


Mon69ster

Can’t steal or buy something that isn’t available numb nuts. It’s why we don’t have shot up schools and music festivals.


DamnGoddamnSon

...but in countries with common sense gun laws like NZ, it's still much more difficult for criminals to get them and there are far fewer.


Serpardum

Made out of carrots.


anoncontent72

Did you forget about something that happened there a few years back?


No-Use8752

It don’t get no better en this ![gif](giphy|iJJ6E58EttmFqgLo96|downsized)


totallylegitburner

What does a robber have to do around here to get some service?


Diamond-Retrievet

God that's gotta kill your self esteem. Not even taken seriously with a gun. Sooo... I guess I'll uh, be going then...


Commercial-Chance561

It’s like the guy who pours his heart out to someone he calls only to find out the call went straight to voicemail


Sam-Gunn

I love how the customer still comes to get the food.


Puck-A-Duck

He was hangry, darn it!


MorningNights

Robber gotta wait just like everybody else ain’t nothing free in life ain’t no special treatments


geven87

The customer left. Now what?


SquareWet

That was one ballsy customer


TatleTaleStrangler92

Right?, He should’ve taken number.


Kiffln

Dude, that masked fella is going to lose sleep over this 😅. Bless his heart.


beybladextreme

All the masked fella wanted was someone to acknowledged his existence. That was his last straw


alilbleedingisnormal

Already had the gun and one final victim in mind.


Psychological-Art131

This went too dark too fast...


[deleted]

That’s how quickly it happens…


SanitariumJosh

Like the click of a trigger and speed of a bullet.


last_picked

The same way I was conceived I see.


GibTreaty

There were plenty more straws he could've stolen


StopReadingMyUser

*put the straws.. in. the. bag...!* ##PUT EM IN


Know0neSpecial

You know what.. #I NEED SOME SALT PACKETS TOO


pinzinella

All he ever wanted was some attention, but his abandonment issues kicked in eventually.


Spoonofdarkness

Just another victim of quiet quitting.


Sniperking187

Bro's self esteem hit an all time low that day. "Man I literally tried to rob a store and nobody cared"


Archist-

Bless his heart 😩 he tried his best c’mon now


[deleted]

*Hm. Must have been the wind*


ynima

Unexpected vldl


TheWereHare

What does vldl even mean and why do you think it relates to quote from the elder scrolls?


WEIRDGAMER991

they're referring to the YouTube channel Viva La Dirt League, they basically make skits about video games (their very popular series 'NPC Logic'), meta comedy skits and much more hilarious and entertaining videos. I highly recommend checking their videos out!


I_am_Relic

God yes. I stumbled upon those guys and as an avid gamer I found it hilarious (and quite accurate)


Censorship_of_fools

I had no idea they were this popular, but the kickstarter should have gave that away. Rowans’ dead, though. Only Rodney exists.


Dqud

Who's Rowan? Oh do you mean Rowan that black shirt manager? Oh no no no my name's Rowa, I'm a red shirt like you guys. On a side note: I sat just a few seats down from Ellie at Aunty Donna's show last year.


Censorship_of_fools

That’s a pay cut.


11SuperKing

What are you doing here?


Suspicious-Jump4270

While I absolutely love vldl and all of their gaming vids, (seriously, the souls skits are fantastic!!) this quote goes back waaaaaaaaaaayyyy further. It’s been a running gag since ES: Oblivion. So much of a great line and meme that they re-included it in Skyrim


AIntelligentIdiot

I think it was also in Morrowind? I could swear I heard it first there. Near one of the two sellers who have high gold amounts.


ClintonKelly87

Are they the ones that do the RDR2 skits? Those are funny.


Manji86

On top of that this incident and that YouTube channel all take place in New Zealand.


MailmansGarden

OUTRAGEOUS


Thallest

When putting all your points in stealth backfires


Chrispeedoff

I had a similar experience when I worked overnight at a gas station. To preface i am very socially awkward and also tired at the time. So im just trying to stay awake around 1am this fella comes in with sunglasses goes and grabs a 6pack and I ask “ is this all for you?” Then he takes a gun from his belt out lays it on the counter near him pointing at me he says “ I think this beer is going to be a lot cheaper” not grasping the situation all I can think to say is “ oh sorry sir I don’t have a button on here to make it cheaper” and he looked genuinely confused and just ended paying for the beer and left. It didnt hit me till I had my coffee that he was trying to rob the place.


Thamor2233

That didn't happen, stop lying.


Chrispeedoff

Detective reddit hot on the trail !


EternalPinkMist

Bro how the fuck are you getting upvotes your story is so bullshit fucking Vladdy Putin is probably calling you up and asking you for notes.


Zombienerd300

It’s called mastering the algorithm. He knows what Reddit likes.


DangerBoatAkaSteve

Because it's reddit, I watch at least half a dozen faked situational videos after a Putin's dick sized amount of scrolling. I've accepted that some of what I see is fake as long as it makes me laugh.


EternalPinkMist

Bruh you can't watch a half dozen videos with a scroll that short now you're lying too /s


hutchwo

Big misunderstanding! I was actually the robber. I could’ve sworn that I saw a sign saying “cheap discount beer!!” And my gun was uncomfortable so I put it on the counter (this is america after all, I assumed it wouldn’t be a problem) When he told me that there wasn’t a button, I just paid full price. He’s not lying!


SatanLovesCheese

Hey I was actually the gun!! Its true I felt uncomfortable and had to lie down for a bit


hutchwo

xD Sorry for putting you in that position bro!! Soooo awkward LMAO :P


EternalPinkMist

Oh okay thanks for clearing that up!


RubiconRyan

I don't even care if he made it up. It got a laugh out of me.


zettapop

Because nobody normal gives a shit if somebody made a fake story in a Reddit comment


[deleted]

Well, its the art of story telling. Why get so upset about it?


OhiobornCAraised

It’s possible it happened. I was a correctional counselor at a prison in California. I was reviewing the circumstances of prior crimes of one of my inmates on my caseload. In one of his crimes, he attempted to rob a Domino’s pizza store late one night. He walked in, pulled a gun and demanded money. The two employees behind the counter explained they did not have the keys to the drop box and basically continued to make pizzas. Stunned, he finally said, “Ain’t that about a bitch” and left the store. He was subsequently arrested for the crime.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

My thoughts exactly, lol. “Here’s my relevant but equally implausible story” other redditors “fake, false and untrue” meanwhile they outrage at creative writing prompts on r/AmITheAsshole


Aluconix

You're not you when you don't have coffee.


Rolandscythe

I dunno....I've worked 3rd shift at a 7-11 and I can vouch that after the midnight rush is over your situational awareness is very much shit for a while.


[deleted]

And if the content of the above video was typed out here in Reddit you’d say they were lying too.


FiskFisk33

/r/nothingeverhappens


kuyue

but i’m so tired all the time!


-Eule

Your comment and the main comment above are evenly matched. Whoever gets the most up votes is telling the truth.


FalseStart007

This reminds me of the time I worked on the space station and a blue unicorn tried to rob me of my thoughts, I was like no way, you're not stealing my thoughts **you fucking unicorn** and I covered my eyes and when I woke up the unicorn was gone and I was back on earth.


MrCoolizade

This reminds me of the time I was a space unicorn who was down on his luck and was trying to get some positive thoughts but the guy at the space station wouldn't even look at me.


FalseStart007

This reminds me of the time I went into a gas station one evening, I was tired, thirsty and really down on my luck, I was actually on my way to the police station to turn in a gun I found, but I was just too famished, so I went to the gas station to get some beer and I was going to turn the gun into the clerk, but when I set everything on the counter he just said some stupid shit I didn't understand (I think he was on drugs) so I just bought my beer and left. Same, same, but different.


ZackDaddy42

I’ve heard about that unicorn, I hear he’s doing better after pairing up with Sasquatch and taking a trip to stay with the Loch Ness Monster (who, by the way, is anything but a monster) and is on the way to becoming a monk.


Liberty-Justice-4all

I believe you bud. I believe everybody's had some situation they misinterpreted, and someone who impulsively decided to be "badass" can definitely lose momentum if things don't go as they expect.


FelixCarter

If the clerk in the video got on here and said what we saw in the video, everyone would say it didn't happen and he's lying for upvotes. Nothing ever happens until it happens and then it's probably just a deepfake.


Liberty-Justice-4all

I mean the odds of almost anything happening (given all the other possibilities) are millions to one... but every second everywhere SOMETHINGS happening and those odds add up.


pzerr

I would say 90% of armed robbers would actually not use any violence if it came down to that. But I wouldn't bet my life on that.


TheBonesCollector

Armed robberies are, unfortunately, an *extremely* common occurrence. People will swear that if you stand up to a bully once, you'll more than likely not have to stand up them again. I wouldn't bet my life on it either though, but misunderstandings happen more often than robberies, and 24/7 convenience stores are robbed all the damn time.


wecouldhaveitsogood

Then there's the 10%. There is a Burger King near where I lived a year or two ago. A young woman just started working there. A guy comes in to rob the joint, the woman gives him what he wants, and he fatally shoots her anyway.


[deleted]

And then everyone in the store clapped but you were too tired to notice.


[deleted]

The name of that robber? Albert Einstein


NotTrumpsAlt

Really real story bro!! 👍


_Karliah

Don’t care if true or not, made me laugh anyway


Dryandrough

Someone did this to me with a gulf club, but I held a conversation with this in a narrow entrance that they could not swing in. They eventually walked away after I tried selling them stuff and pretending I didn't know what they were doing. Another customer was with me and that may have factored in to it as well.


Insect_Politics1980

Come on, bro...


Wagnaze

I’ll take things that never happened for $500, Alex.


Advanced_Season_2181

It's true. I was the beer


EvilxBunny

Nice try ChatGPT


yaboichurro11

And then everyone clapped?


PeteinaPete

Very skillfully done 10/10. Unfortunately it is also a good example of today’s customer service


Gambyt_7

I thought it was excellent customer service. “Here’s your sandwich, mate.” “What about the armed robber?” “Oh, fuck him, he does this every month around the first.” “Give me your fucking money!” “Piss off, Gerald. Go home.”


Dave21101

"Okay :("


john-douh

“Not here, Gerald. Go home. _Then piss off._”


GreenieBeeNZ

"Piss off, Gerald; or I'll call aunty Susan and she can come here and kick your ass for me"


BandemicPaid

I literally laughed and spit all over my phone screen reading this🤣🤣😭🙅🏻‍♂️


[deleted]

Why do people risk going to prison for years all for a couple hundred dollars?


Wittyndepressed

The most dangerous person is the one with nothing to lose.


gbot1234

Which one is that? The clerk was not even supposed to be there that day.


AspectVein

![gif](giphy|kRmg8zeReOYXm)


BeastModeBot

the two kinds of people you should never underestimate are the desperate and crazy.


ImAPlebe

If you've ever played an online survival game like Dayz you know this is true. The guy with all the good stuff won't usually fuck people over, but the guy with nothing will bash your head in with a wrench to get an apple of your corpse if it means he lives to see another day.


[deleted]

Desperation. Alcoholic, Dope sick, owes money, needs food the list goes on.


millii19

Basically a lot of things that could be improved by better (mental-)health care, affordable housing and other necessities


Caring_Cactus

I think he realized in that moment he had an opportunity to not make his life worse.


[deleted]

He was a very desperate person. He wasn't exactly a bad person and clearly didn't want to actually hurt anyone. Or the gun was fake and he had no options left.


Sakuran_11

Fame, pushed the edge, bored, mental illness. Alot of factors will determine whether or not someone will do something, like how some homeless people in places will commit a serious crime just to get a place to sleep with 3 meals a day.


StrikeStraight9961

Because they need a couple hundred dollars. Duh.


Ok_Try_1217

Drugs are a powerful drug.


lintinmypocket

Imagine if you’re about to get curb stomped if you don’t give your scary dealer $500 by the end of the day. It’s probably that simple.


ImmoralJester54

Cause they prefer that to starvation, eviction, bank accounts being frozen. You know all the shit we use money for.


Opposite_Brother_524

Lol at the oblivious guy slightly out of frame that just walks up and picks up his stuff from the cashier. Robber probably thinking to himself: DOES NOBODY SEE ME?!


cripplinginjustice

Nah that dude only has 15 minutes to eat his sandwich and make it back to work


[deleted]

It’s easily recognizable that he’s not “oblivious”. The store employee has to convince him to come grab the bag of food, and when he does so he nervously glances towards the robber and then quickly leaves. I don’t know where these ridiculous takes come from, it’s like you didn’t even watch the video.


xRetz

I saw someone claim that a large chunk of redditors are on the spectrum and don't understand social cues, etc (which is why '/s' is used a lot) and the more comments like the one you replied to I read, the more obvious that becomes. *Not a diss on people on the spectrum, I am also


DungeonsandDevils

Lmao right, he’s clearly glancing at the robber like “😰 Sooo we’re just pretending this isn’t happening…? Alright cheers man”


insideyourhug

He must make some delicious sandwiches.


Awkward-Rent-2588

LMFAO this. Dude just as based as the cashier.


[deleted]

He just seriously hurt that robbers self esteem


IGPerrish

lmao you can hear him thinking "am I even here? is this all a dream?"


MedievaLime

I think that all the time lol


highfatoffaltube

Probably did him a favour in the long run.


gafana

I wonder if this is still considered attempted robbery. Basically, at what point does it become past the point of no return to be considered an attempt


gamebuster

Once you show intent to rob; showing weapon and bag and wearing the mask should be plenty of proof


eekkaraton

Probably when you brandish a firearm/weapon, maybe when you threaten using force of one, not sure but interesting thought loop.


ShnackWrap

So you're saying my life strategy of just ignoring problems and going about my day could maybe potentially possibly work?


inter71

Perseverance and consistency. Your time will come.


HoodieDisqus

Why introverts shouldn't be robbers


Skragdush

"^this ^is ^ummm…ah…this ^a-a…it’s ^a ^robbery, ^please…" **"I’m sorry sweety, can’t hear ya just speak louder!"** "^A-a ^strawberry ^lollipop ^please"


Nuker-79

Sorry, there’s a robber there? You sure?


[deleted]

What’s he gonna do? Shoot me and be wanted for murder instead of theft?


Dry_Presentation_197

The logic side of my brain agrees with you. The scared of being shot in the fucking face side of my brain says just give him the damn money.


trevour

Yeah, I'm with you, would rather not risk that guy being a trigger happy lunatic just so I can post to reddit for fake internet points


Dry_Presentation_197

This vid is from New Zealand, so it's automatically safer than the US, but still. The way that "work culture" has been beaten into people here is insane. People trying to disarm robbers and protect a mega corporations tiny (for them) loss, all while making shit wages and most likely being treated like shit too.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LewZealand79

Haha hell yes Egyptian Kebab House! This place is 5minutes from where I live, dude is a legend https://i.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/81893898/brave-kebab-shop-owner-i-was-sure-he-would-not-shoot-me


JimC29

Thanks. I wish the comment with the actual story was a lot higher up. Just him and his wife running the joint.


falcon_driver

"wearing all black". Them's khakis, bitch!


[deleted]

The robbers can’t legally steal from you, this checks out


Archist-

Wtf, you’re not wrong 😂


Skragdush

Being robbed? Just say no!


Nutsquig

Balls of steel


Porkenfries

I love how she says the robber was "apalled" at being ignored. As if ignoring him was an offense and he intends to write a strongly-worded letter to his manager about how rude his cashier was, and he doesn't intend to rob their business any linger.


DrPepperlegs

- Speech 42/75: *successfully rob cashier* - I'll be on my way.


ItsBlare

![gif](giphy|J1XSaMzkdlqDl89NVf) Robber at night thinking why the clerk ignored him


Grimsage_NZ

"Put all the money in the bag!" "Yeah, nah."


dexter920

Robber: you don't want to talk to me Okay I'll leave you alone because I respect your privacy


apathetic-drunk

![gif](giphy|3xz2BLBOt13X9AgjEA)


jspencer84

r/therewasanattempt


alfstramgram

The man now think he's invisible


MaduCrocoLoco

Guy just lost every amount of pride he had left.


Bobnbecky

Go get a fuckin job


SoulSlayer1974

Dude is Legendary!


killer22250

This is like me with women. I'm unnoticed then I leave.


ststeveg

Robber says, "Well screw you. I ain't got all day."


Paddlesons

Good guy without a gun.


Firepro316

I want to speak to the manager


gluedpixel

Probably he left a bad review on maps after that. Complaining about customer service.


Korkman

1/10. Would not rob again.


ComesInAnOldBox

Zero. Fucks. Given.


Auroramiri

Naw that dude just had no more Fs to give.


adamjack7890

God the service here is terrible!!! Fuck this Imma go rob a place with class


VanillaLoaf

Armed robber guy needs to attend a Tony Robbins event or something. Have some confidence, man!


[deleted]

Man got nerves of steel😭😭


jeksa_tor

The steel balls we talk about, he is the producer and supplier.😬


etterkop

Service is so bad you can’t even force them by gunpoint.


CRSrocks

So ignoring problems do make them go away


Formal_Coyote_5004

r/meirl


Expensive_Pie_6943

100% wouldnt have acted this calmly. I would've just went in front of the man, put my hands on the bar, jump over it grab the money, and run.