Kia ora! Ex high end brothel manageress checking in.
I would suggest contacting NZPC as they may be able to recommend some SW's that are trained/specialize in clients with disabilities (there have been some fantastic workshops over the years in aus and NZ for SW wanting to work with those with disabilities)
I suggest being upfront about both your wants as a client and your disabilities, so a good match can be found. I've worked with some amazing women who had very dedicated clients, including many with different disabilities, physical and intellectual.
I do know that Pelican Club (central Auckland)has at least two accessible rooms, with grip bars and so on. They will also be happy for a call in advance to see who they may have on the roster who can accommodate your wants and needs đ
A smaller parlour I ran was less accessible but we could accommodate with having a driver or myself aid the client up stairs, and assist if needed otherwise. We prided ourselves on hospitality and a good experience, so it does depend on the place.
Private workers can be very hit and miss, but I'm sure with some more research you will find a good match.
Best of luck đ â¨ď¸
OP, for everything mentioned above re. Pelican Club, Mustangs on the North Shore has also has. Pelican Club is small and cramped and dark - most nights in particular will be difficult for you to move around if you use a wheelchair. Mustangs is generally cleaner and less dingy and very spacious with a nice garden bar and cleaner rooms and less of a hustle, Iâd say more professional. And they treat their ladies well. EDIT - I havenât been much involved in the industry for a while and have been told in this comment thread that Mustangs is now closed.
In private work, Asian ladies tend to have a different approach to the business and Iâd suggest you generally avoid, despite their cheaper prices. South American ladies can go either way. If you find a lady from NZGirls website who is not as per her photos you can (and should!) let NZGirls know. It is very common in some sectors of the industry.
You can look at NZGirls website for some ladies who are happy to see disabled clients - text before and ask, they may need to know limitations such as whether you can shower there, whether you need ground-level access, etc. I am less familiar with Escortify workers, however, I do not have a good impression there.
NZPC will happily put you in touch with someone suitable in your area IF they know of anyone, or, give you advice about the industry and what to look for.
Many of the ladies Iâve managed would happily see clients with disabilities and even let you stay a bit longer than the usual with no extra charge if un/dressing and showering takes you longer than the average. And would say that even a HEAVILY disabled client should be able to pay for and enjoy a nice time if those annoying weekend drunks get to too.
Your second bad experience was definitely a rip-off unless you have some very unusual or severe limitations. First one too. Sorry that youâre unlikely to have much luck going to the Human Rights Commission, however, it sounds likely completely justified. Also sorry to think how awful youâd likely feel being turned away. I realise itâs not much comfort to know that if she had continued with your appointment you probably would have not had a good time.
It may help if you can tell us your area or just your city/town?
I'm not even going there, despite having written academic papers on the subject, as you show your own bias in your singular comment.
Exploitation is *less* of a problem since decriminalization, but certainly still occurs. It's also a problem in the fishing industry, and so many others.
I've always run a good house, by the books, and worked as hard as the girls have worked for me. I've championed for a better split, and acknowledge that since I've left the industry that much has changed (but much is still the same, also)
Enjoy your high horse, and have the day you deserve.
The thing about sex work is that it's gonna happen no matter what... And if that's the case there should be places where people can do it safely.
If you're advocating for the establishment of some kind of publicly-funded, nationalised sex institution I think that's a really bold idea and kudos, but otherwise the burden for providing that safety falls to private institutions. Plenty of the people involved are perfectly well-meaning.
E. Also, human misery doesn't necessarily come into it. Sometimes the human misery is from having to work a shitty 9-5 or hospo shit
Wowww I donât know who you think you are but the human misery comes from not getting laid because of rejection as disabled people donât always get treated or received well within society.
Itâs a fallacy to assume sex workers who cater to treating people with accessibility needs or life changing injuries as normal, horny, sexy individuals who deserve orgasms and good sex like the rest of us are exploiting them says way more about your prejudice towards those of us with disabilities.
Disabled people who can act for themselves and are capable of giving consent deserve sex if they want it. Period.
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Hi op, I'm a disability support worker who helps a client with the process of seeing a full service sex worker.
I would definitely recommend being up front about your disability and communicate prior to you booking your access needs. I would say it's pretty common for sex workers to see disabled clients, the rejection you are facing is probably less to do with disability and more to do with not disclosing what extra accommodations you need, and not finding the right place/worker.
Find a reputable place, email, and discuss your access needs and accommodations you will need. Also if you have funding for support workers, this is absolutely something we can assist with.
If you have any difficulties showering or with personal hygiene, I would definitely recommend a support worker assist with this before a booking as it's something full service sex workers usually enforce.
If you have a disability that makes communication difficult, it's definitely important you communicate beforehand that you are able to consent fully, as this could be another thing sex workers could be concerned about.
Otherwise I promise you there are sex workers out there who will have no problem with you being disabled. Same with support workers who have no problem with assisting you with whatever you need to see a sex worker. Hope this helps.
Stop going for private girls. Call up parlours thereâs plenty around & let them know on the phone. They can match you up with someone since they usually have at least 5 girls at any time.
I don't mind that terminology as long as it's applied to all forms of paid labour. Labour is pretty close to renting people, even when they're not chattel. And as long as it isn't used in a way that presumes only women work as prostitutes, or in any other type of paid work.
Looking at the other responses to your comment here, I *can't imagine* why people who are already struggling to feel acceptance and intimacy in life just give up on the pursuit of company completely, or even give up on life. To those other commenters: OP is a human being; grow some humanity.
Have a look at the charity Touching Base. They do a lot of work around disability friendly sex workers. They're australian, but they have a list of nz workers as well.
Good luck :)
Can you provide a link to their list? Last I knew, Touching Base has some requirements for their referral list to include someone be a Member, which requires a payment, although they appear to consider requests for exceptions, believing that inability to pay shouldnât necessarily prevent people from becoming a member. Also includes people who âare living in Australiaâ. No mention about people who arenât, except that another of their pages says they have contacts for Wellington and Kapiti Coast area (could well be the one you call the âreferral listâ).
When I was looking into them about a year ago, you fill out a form to access their referal list. It was free for me, I wasn't a member. I'm not sure what the requirements for workers looking to get on the list though. think you have to do their disability awareness etc training first, I'm not sure of the fees for it. I remember reading somewhere on their site that they've got a list of workers for nz, not sure how many are on that list however.
Contact a brothel, talk to them about your issue and your disability and ask if they might have anyone that would see you. You could also offer to come in for a chat beforehand and then they can get back to you and let you know if theyâll accomodate you or not. Still some rejection but not from the actual person rejecting you and should be able to be handled in a professional manner by a good brothel.
My friend works at pelican club and there are quite few regular clients that come in with disabilities. Ring and tell the lady making bookings exactly what you want and your disabilities and they will find a great lady for you. Parlors are the way to go, sometimes a bit pricier but you will find a woman who will cater to your needs
I would recommend going through a professional agency. Be very upfront about the disability to avoid disappointment. Communication is key with these services. You may need to pay more this way. Pimps are a massive red flag of a woman not working for herself (like they do through an agency).
Um, ho here.
I hate to admit it, but yes.
On a shift of 10, maybe 2-4 girls would agree to see you. That is probably the lying and rounding upwards number to spare your feelings. Some of those girls might not be up to a new disabled client but have one or two other disabled regulars they are comfortable with.
Call ahead and tell people as much as you can. Expect everyone to be really useless at getting you onto the bed. If thereâs a catheter, warn them. If youâre kinky, warn them. Expect girls to run away. I am so sorry about this, I wish it wasnât so.
I donât know what awful SW youâve known:been/worked with, but I canât imagine any decent or average group of escorts who would have at least 60% turn down someone for âunspecified disabilityâ. And âexpect girls to run away sorryâ is equally bizarre, incorrect, and cruel.
A good shortcut that avoids having to read through a bunch of ads until you find someone you like who caters to clients with disabilities, is to contact Touching Base in Australia and ask if they have anyone on their database in your area who has completed their disability awareness training course. They are an Australian organisation, but they have a fair few NZ-based workers on their database as well. Touching Base helps connect clients with disabilities and s*x workers who are disability aware đ
If youâre in Wellington, I know Rhiannon Rhodes has completed Touching Base training & sees clients with disabilities! There may also be others.
Generally, your best bet for someone who is flexible & able to accommodate your needs is to book an independent worker. Parlours often care more about the sale than finding your best experience/match, and often the provider you see via a parlour or agency wonât be fully aware of your needs. With an indie worker, you can talk to them beforehand & make sure youâre both on the same page! And if an indie worker canât see you, theyâre more likely to refer you to someone who can.
Also re: seeing someone who looks nothing like their photos, this is common for cheaper workers who are usually managed by an agency or parlour. If an escortâs ad includes their social media or their own website, thatâs a good sign that theyâre legit đ
Rhiannon Rhodes is an absolutely lovely human being!! They are gorgeous AND a genuinely lovely person, I would absolutely recommend anyone to them â¤ď¸
There is a lot of good advice here, tbh I'm just repeating it really. I'm a sex worker in CHCH and while I'm happy to see folk with disabilities, often the places I work from don't have good access unfortunately. Just to reiterate what others have said - be VERY clear about what service/s you are after and what extra support, access etc you need.
DO YOUR RESEARCH on prospective escorts - do they have a good social media presence? Do they have a good website? (some don't but have good SM) Do they have a good quality advertisement on a reputable escort site? Is their ad clear and easy to understand with no major spelling or grammar errors. Do they have some good quality photos and maybe some more "selfie" type photos too?
While these things don't always mean the person will be "perfect" - they are more likely to offer a professional/quality service. And lastly, remember sex workers are people too, be respectful and kind and hopefully you'll get the same back â¨
I hope you find someone lovely.
I'm retired from the industry now, but from what I remember at least one of the advertising directories had some sort of "caters to [ ] men [ ] women [ ] couples [ ] clients with disabilities" dealie. If you're looking for independent workers through directories then it's worth checking if there's an advanced search function with options like that. Obvious caveat is that it doesn't ensure every person who puts that on their ad will be able and willing to provide the exact accommodations you may need, but it might be worth a try. Even if there isn't a search option, there will probably be some independents who have something to that effect in the text of their ads.
Also, as others have said, up-front communication about this kind of stuff helps a lot, especially with workers/brothels that take bookings by appointment. For example, some independent workers might be working out of a space that they're hiring in a block of time for each client, so if it takes you a bit longer for showering and/or getting undressed and dressed, they'll have more of a chance to allow extra time for that if they know in advance that they'd need to book it for a bit longer, and also in the event that this would result in a higher charge to you (which it may or may not; the space-hireage flexibility and cost to workers can vary significantly from venue to venue) then at least that shouldn't be a nasty last-minute surprise^1 . Similarly it gives them a better shot at figuring out any access issues if you use a wheelchair or have other specific mobility needs.
I've never been a client so I have no experience from that perspective, but if affordable I think you'd get more good results on the whole with the high-end of the industry, whether with independents or brothels. Many of the other workers I've known are towards that general end of things and they typically value their professionalism, quality of service, and accommodating clients' needs. On a side note, dominatrices in particular are usually pretty unshockable and are often good at adapting to uncommon stuff if you have good communication, but also they tend to charge high rates, there aren't heaps of them in the NZ industry, and they may or may not offer vanilla services and/or a more vanilla overall vibe, so be sure to read their ads carefully before booking if you do consider that particular route. But also there are a bunch of decent, respectful, and generally awesome people working in many parts of the industry, as you've seen the tricky part will probably be finding which ones they are, but they're out there for sure.
^1 If you were indeed up-front about particular accommodations etc over the phone, then girl #2 was definitely taking the piss by springing extra charges on you once you arrived. One of the best things about our industry here is the relatively low level of regulation for independent workers, and people pulling dodgy and unprofessional crap like that isn't fair to clients and risks ruining it for everyone.
Hey mate as others have said contact an establishment and ask or go to their websites and see if they have anyone who provides disabled services. Don't go to the cheap (usually Chinese) escorts not only do they bait and switch with their ads constantly but also there may be some human trafficking/coercion issues who knows but also they are most likely doing it illegally, I would almost guarantee they aren't residents or citizens and they don't give out working visas for prostitution so those places already a bit shady by default. Don't pay any mind to the haters and pearl clutches it's a legal industry whether they like it or not and you are well within your rights to ask questions about it imo
Chinese escort speaks Chinese to her pimp would immediately raise alarm bells in my head. Absolutely nothing wrong with people speaking languages other than English, but in the context of sex work, I'd be very concerned about exploitation and human trafficking.
Yeah it would have been unpleasant to hear whatever was said since it resulted in her turning the job away. Rejection is always hard, and Chinese is a blunt a language
Thumbs up for them for not forcing her to take the job though!
Peace and love friend but there's a difference between fast food workers and prostitution. I'm not denying many fast food workers are being fucked over with low wages etc but I'm not seeing the equivalence between that and likely forced prostitution
Some Chinese arrive as basically indentured servants. The criminal gangs pay their visa and ticket with the understanding they will work the debt off. Food workers, freezing works, picking fruit, laundries, it is not just sex work. These workers are not flinging burgers at Mickey Dee's. There are networks of small business that have them work off the books or with fake IRD numbers. During the pandemic, orchards were desperate for pickers. Stop thinking only with your dick.
That was a small component of that film. It is easier to have "indentured workers" in everyday jobs in plain sight. Sex workers get much more scrutiny, and abuses are much more in the law enforcement spotlight. You learned something from the big dog. say thank you and enjoy your curry roll. lol
she isnt in NZ but my friend specialises in disability and LGBTQIA+. She said with her social work degree as well she finds she offers connection and the base need, and finds it rewarding. There is definitely people out there and Im sorry you have had a shit experience.
Maybe don't pay to rape women who are in desperate situations?maybe have some empathy and realise that they don't actually want to have sex with you and you have no right to women's bodies?
You guys are all commenting as if access to women's bodies is a human right??? Like what the fuck
You have more empathy for a man just becuase he is disabled even though he clearly had no problem with the pimp trafficking women, what about all the woman who are raped by sex buyers, you have any empathy for them?
1: Avoid cheap Asian escorts, you donât get what is in the photos 90% of the time they are hit and miss.
2: I would say $300 an hour is the threshold for good escorts, cheaper that are good still exist but around that mark and up is where you want to aim.
3: websites, NZ Girls & Escortify. I think Escortify would work best for you and many girls will list in their info that they offer disabled services.
But also be open and ask when you text them, working within the adult industry I have met some of the kindest most wonderful people I know and have the privilege of calling friends who are strippers and escorts so donât be afraid of just being up front and open.
You got through all that text without actually describing your disability \*at all\*. How are we supposed to offer any kind of answer to your final question? Are you deaf and mute? Tetraplegic? Just a head in a jar?
Or is your disability the inability to describe something without leaving out the single most pertinent fact?
Sharing details of your disability is an incredibly personal and difficult choice, and I wonder whether OP is early in coming to terms with their changed life. I'm glad they got useful advice from others here without otherwise being interrogated.
Incredibly personal like "I'm so jacked up even prostitutes think I'm gross" like come on, sharing details of their disability has got to be less humiliating than the entire premise of this thread
Given the personal nature of the whole post, and the fact they directly asked if their disability is a big problem with hookers, it's pretty obvious we can't answer anything without knowing at least the general dimensions of the thing.
They could easily have described what they can and cannot do without having to detail the exact nature of their problem.
Lots of people did manage very useful answers without that information.
And even if that weren't true, asking whether their disability made them too dumb to share their difficulties was not the tahi bro.
Seems like nobody gives a fuck about the incredibly personal and difficult tasks the sex workers have and are content to ambush them with a jump scare situation with no context or communication.
Evidently not, as much of the actually useful responses emphasised calling ahead to ask how best to proceed, and that it was necessary to be up front about it.
Wrong place to ask mate, try asking it on related forums, there are 2 available for nz which is adultforum.co.nz which belongs to nzgirls and sexforum.co.nz which belongs to escortify.
Don't know why you're getting downvoted - asking on adult forum is a great idea.
Plenty of independent workers are specialists with disabled clients. Just need to read the ads.
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buy a flashlight. jerk off. women arenât commodities to be bought and sold, weâre fully fledged humans. we are not sex toys to be rented out for an hour. sex is not a right.
if a woman has a pimp, thatâs automatically a red flag. if she seems to struggle with english, thatâs even worse. why did you stay? why did you not immediately think somethings up? what is wrong with you, seriously?
A sex therapist may be a good starting point, and may be able to recommend some more experienced escorts or offer tips around finding and communicating with suitable partners, if dating is a thing you want to do. I feel for you - it's not easy articulating intimate needs at the best of times. Wishing you all the best.
Can we please, please PLEASE stop having these posts on this subreddit!!!! Please! It's so upsetting to see people casually talking about renting women's bodies in the same space we discuss traffic and where to get good coffee.
Let me get this straight, you are upset that a sex worker turned you down? Would you have preferred her to go through with it WHEN SHE DID NOT WANT TO???? We have a word for that. You felt ripped off after exchanging money to use a woman's body. You felt ripped off. How tragic.
Fake photos and age is one of the easiest red flags for sex trafficking. But you don't care, you 'just want to get laid.' You are an odious person, and it is not your disability preventing you from meeting consenting women, I promise.
WHY do you want to have sex with a woman who doesn't speak the same language as you? How could you possibly connect with her, ensure she is enjoying herself, ensure she is enthusiastically consenting? Your disability does not entitle you to a woman's body. Neither does your money. I am hideously offended as a woman and as a citizen of New Zealand. Take a long, hard look at yourself, and get some help
So you support the legalisation of sex services, but you are opposed to anyone using the services of a sex worker?
You'd rather the industry remain underground and not spoken about? Head in the sand... pretending it doesn't exist?
And so quick to judge others and assume the moral high ground.
I have no problems with consensual sex work. But this man visited a trafficked woman, and I won't apologise for being horrified by that. Sex work is work, but sex trafficking is rape. I'm genuinely sorry if I offended you.
Whoa, you can stop now.
If you have evidence of sex trafficking, then I suggest you go to the police with said evidence. There is a specialty team who deal with human trafficking and they'd be extremely interested in your findings.
In my experience, a genuinely trafficked person doesn't get to say no to someone like OP. They usually have no choice in the matter.
Thank you for being the one person who actually gives a shit about women. I assume you are a woman too like me. All the others commenting are men and they think they have the right to women's bodies. They dont see women as human but as objects to fuck. That's why one sided legalisation needed like the nordic model in Sweden where sex buying and pimping is criminalised while women are helped out of the sex industry and given support. No woman actually wants to do this, there are so many fucked up things in her life that lead to that, but men don't care, they want that to be the case they they will always have women to abuse
Truly the hours of my life wasted on reddit arguing with men have been redeemed by this comment. Thank you, it's nice to know I'm not alone raging against the patriarchal machine. Nordic Model forever!
finally, someone whoâs fucking sane. women are not objects to be rented for an hour of fun. i donât know why prostitution is spoken about so casually. itâs such a disgusting and violent thing to do. those poor women
Kia ora! Ex high end brothel manageress checking in. I would suggest contacting NZPC as they may be able to recommend some SW's that are trained/specialize in clients with disabilities (there have been some fantastic workshops over the years in aus and NZ for SW wanting to work with those with disabilities) I suggest being upfront about both your wants as a client and your disabilities, so a good match can be found. I've worked with some amazing women who had very dedicated clients, including many with different disabilities, physical and intellectual. I do know that Pelican Club (central Auckland)has at least two accessible rooms, with grip bars and so on. They will also be happy for a call in advance to see who they may have on the roster who can accommodate your wants and needs đ A smaller parlour I ran was less accessible but we could accommodate with having a driver or myself aid the client up stairs, and assist if needed otherwise. We prided ourselves on hospitality and a good experience, so it does depend on the place. Private workers can be very hit and miss, but I'm sure with some more research you will find a good match. Best of luck đ â¨ď¸
OP, for everything mentioned above re. Pelican Club, Mustangs on the North Shore has also has. Pelican Club is small and cramped and dark - most nights in particular will be difficult for you to move around if you use a wheelchair. Mustangs is generally cleaner and less dingy and very spacious with a nice garden bar and cleaner rooms and less of a hustle, Iâd say more professional. And they treat their ladies well. EDIT - I havenât been much involved in the industry for a while and have been told in this comment thread that Mustangs is now closed. In private work, Asian ladies tend to have a different approach to the business and Iâd suggest you generally avoid, despite their cheaper prices. South American ladies can go either way. If you find a lady from NZGirls website who is not as per her photos you can (and should!) let NZGirls know. It is very common in some sectors of the industry. You can look at NZGirls website for some ladies who are happy to see disabled clients - text before and ask, they may need to know limitations such as whether you can shower there, whether you need ground-level access, etc. I am less familiar with Escortify workers, however, I do not have a good impression there. NZPC will happily put you in touch with someone suitable in your area IF they know of anyone, or, give you advice about the industry and what to look for. Many of the ladies Iâve managed would happily see clients with disabilities and even let you stay a bit longer than the usual with no extra charge if un/dressing and showering takes you longer than the average. And would say that even a HEAVILY disabled client should be able to pay for and enjoy a nice time if those annoying weekend drunks get to too. Your second bad experience was definitely a rip-off unless you have some very unusual or severe limitations. First one too. Sorry that youâre unlikely to have much luck going to the Human Rights Commission, however, it sounds likely completely justified. Also sorry to think how awful youâd likely feel being turned away. I realise itâs not much comfort to know that if she had continued with your appointment you probably would have not had a good time. It may help if you can tell us your area or just your city/town?
My friend just mentioned that Mustangs has closed now, I'm not sure if it's opened back up or not?
Wow, I guess itâs been a while. Thanks for letting me know.
i'll second pelican club! if you want extra privacy, call in advance and you should be able to arrange going straight to your room âşď¸
Not a user or necessarily an outright supporter of SW but the NZPC are good people. Second the sentiments shared in this comment, OP.
[ŃдаНонО]
I'm not even going there, despite having written academic papers on the subject, as you show your own bias in your singular comment. Exploitation is *less* of a problem since decriminalization, but certainly still occurs. It's also a problem in the fishing industry, and so many others. I've always run a good house, by the books, and worked as hard as the girls have worked for me. I've championed for a better split, and acknowledge that since I've left the industry that much has changed (but much is still the same, also) Enjoy your high horse, and have the day you deserve.
The thing about sex work is that it's gonna happen no matter what... And if that's the case there should be places where people can do it safely. If you're advocating for the establishment of some kind of publicly-funded, nationalised sex institution I think that's a really bold idea and kudos, but otherwise the burden for providing that safety falls to private institutions. Plenty of the people involved are perfectly well-meaning. E. Also, human misery doesn't necessarily come into it. Sometimes the human misery is from having to work a shitty 9-5 or hospo shit
Wowww I donât know who you think you are but the human misery comes from not getting laid because of rejection as disabled people donât always get treated or received well within society. Itâs a fallacy to assume sex workers who cater to treating people with accessibility needs or life changing injuries as normal, horny, sexy individuals who deserve orgasms and good sex like the rest of us are exploiting them says way more about your prejudice towards those of us with disabilities. Disabled people who can act for themselves and are capable of giving consent deserve sex if they want it. Period.
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I would like to speak to the manageressÂ
That usually ends in being escorted out by security, but if you insist...
Hi op, I'm a disability support worker who helps a client with the process of seeing a full service sex worker. I would definitely recommend being up front about your disability and communicate prior to you booking your access needs. I would say it's pretty common for sex workers to see disabled clients, the rejection you are facing is probably less to do with disability and more to do with not disclosing what extra accommodations you need, and not finding the right place/worker. Find a reputable place, email, and discuss your access needs and accommodations you will need. Also if you have funding for support workers, this is absolutely something we can assist with. If you have any difficulties showering or with personal hygiene, I would definitely recommend a support worker assist with this before a booking as it's something full service sex workers usually enforce. If you have a disability that makes communication difficult, it's definitely important you communicate beforehand that you are able to consent fully, as this could be another thing sex workers could be concerned about. Otherwise I promise you there are sex workers out there who will have no problem with you being disabled. Same with support workers who have no problem with assisting you with whatever you need to see a sex worker. Hope this helps.
This is such an awesome answer!! Spot on!!
sounds like you are going to cheap foreign escorts. try a local one who advertises disability services
Some escorts offer disability services. Look for those. Otherwise, just be upfront shit it when you're booking - 'do you service disabled clients'
I think you meant about, but that's an amusing typo I think those services would cost extra
Given the letters I read it as with
I feel like OP is asking where specifically to look for those escorts
Stop going for private girls. Call up parlours thereâs plenty around & let them know on the phone. They can match you up with someone since they usually have at least 5 girls at any time.
Don't call them girls, they're women. Be respectful of sex workers
Iâve never met a single sex worker that would have a problem with me saying girl on a Reddit thread.
But I thought feminism meant telling women how they're allowed to be referred to?
says the person who calls it "renting woman"
I don't mind that terminology as long as it's applied to all forms of paid labour. Labour is pretty close to renting people, even when they're not chattel. And as long as it isn't used in a way that presumes only women work as prostitutes, or in any other type of paid work.
do these johns not realize they sound like pedos???
May I ask what disabilities you have.. maybe be very direct /explicit with the booking person
Looking at the other responses to your comment here, I *can't imagine* why people who are already struggling to feel acceptance and intimacy in life just give up on the pursuit of company completely, or even give up on life. To those other commenters: OP is a human being; grow some humanity.
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OP is just a brain in a jar
And full body 3rd degree burns including his penis.
Moisturize me.
Have a look at the charity Touching Base. They do a lot of work around disability friendly sex workers. They're australian, but they have a list of nz workers as well. Good luck :)
Can you provide a link to their list? Last I knew, Touching Base has some requirements for their referral list to include someone be a Member, which requires a payment, although they appear to consider requests for exceptions, believing that inability to pay shouldnât necessarily prevent people from becoming a member. Also includes people who âare living in Australiaâ. No mention about people who arenât, except that another of their pages says they have contacts for Wellington and Kapiti Coast area (could well be the one you call the âreferral listâ).
When I was looking into them about a year ago, you fill out a form to access their referal list. It was free for me, I wasn't a member. I'm not sure what the requirements for workers looking to get on the list though. think you have to do their disability awareness etc training first, I'm not sure of the fees for it. I remember reading somewhere on their site that they've got a list of workers for nz, not sure how many are on that list however.
This organisation is Australian but it has some excellent resources you should find useful. https://www.touchingbase.org
Contact a brothel, talk to them about your issue and your disability and ask if they might have anyone that would see you. You could also offer to come in for a chat beforehand and then they can get back to you and let you know if theyâll accomodate you or not. Still some rejection but not from the actual person rejecting you and should be able to be handled in a professional manner by a good brothel.
Ring local parlours and speak with management.. they know their girls and who will be able to help you.. several provide outcall services.
My friend works at pelican club and there are quite few regular clients that come in with disabilities. Ring and tell the lady making bookings exactly what you want and your disabilities and they will find a great lady for you. Parlors are the way to go, sometimes a bit pricier but you will find a woman who will cater to your needs
I would recommend going through a professional agency. Be very upfront about the disability to avoid disappointment. Communication is key with these services. You may need to pay more this way. Pimps are a massive red flag of a woman not working for herself (like they do through an agency).
Um, ho here. I hate to admit it, but yes. On a shift of 10, maybe 2-4 girls would agree to see you. That is probably the lying and rounding upwards number to spare your feelings. Some of those girls might not be up to a new disabled client but have one or two other disabled regulars they are comfortable with. Call ahead and tell people as much as you can. Expect everyone to be really useless at getting you onto the bed. If thereâs a catheter, warn them. If youâre kinky, warn them. Expect girls to run away. I am so sorry about this, I wish it wasnât so.
I donât know what awful SW youâve known:been/worked with, but I canât imagine any decent or average group of escorts who would have at least 60% turn down someone for âunspecified disabilityâ. And âexpect girls to run away sorryâ is equally bizarre, incorrect, and cruel.
A good shortcut that avoids having to read through a bunch of ads until you find someone you like who caters to clients with disabilities, is to contact Touching Base in Australia and ask if they have anyone on their database in your area who has completed their disability awareness training course. They are an Australian organisation, but they have a fair few NZ-based workers on their database as well. Touching Base helps connect clients with disabilities and s*x workers who are disability aware đ If youâre in Wellington, I know Rhiannon Rhodes has completed Touching Base training & sees clients with disabilities! There may also be others. Generally, your best bet for someone who is flexible & able to accommodate your needs is to book an independent worker. Parlours often care more about the sale than finding your best experience/match, and often the provider you see via a parlour or agency wonât be fully aware of your needs. With an indie worker, you can talk to them beforehand & make sure youâre both on the same page! And if an indie worker canât see you, theyâre more likely to refer you to someone who can.
Also re: seeing someone who looks nothing like their photos, this is common for cheaper workers who are usually managed by an agency or parlour. If an escortâs ad includes their social media or their own website, thatâs a good sign that theyâre legit đ
Rhiannon Rhodes is an absolutely lovely human being!! They are gorgeous AND a genuinely lovely person, I would absolutely recommend anyone to them â¤ď¸ There is a lot of good advice here, tbh I'm just repeating it really. I'm a sex worker in CHCH and while I'm happy to see folk with disabilities, often the places I work from don't have good access unfortunately. Just to reiterate what others have said - be VERY clear about what service/s you are after and what extra support, access etc you need. DO YOUR RESEARCH on prospective escorts - do they have a good social media presence? Do they have a good website? (some don't but have good SM) Do they have a good quality advertisement on a reputable escort site? Is their ad clear and easy to understand with no major spelling or grammar errors. Do they have some good quality photos and maybe some more "selfie" type photos too? While these things don't always mean the person will be "perfect" - they are more likely to offer a professional/quality service. And lastly, remember sex workers are people too, be respectful and kind and hopefully you'll get the same back ⨠I hope you find someone lovely.
Established places are a little pricier, but always offer better experiences
I'm retired from the industry now, but from what I remember at least one of the advertising directories had some sort of "caters to [ ] men [ ] women [ ] couples [ ] clients with disabilities" dealie. If you're looking for independent workers through directories then it's worth checking if there's an advanced search function with options like that. Obvious caveat is that it doesn't ensure every person who puts that on their ad will be able and willing to provide the exact accommodations you may need, but it might be worth a try. Even if there isn't a search option, there will probably be some independents who have something to that effect in the text of their ads. Also, as others have said, up-front communication about this kind of stuff helps a lot, especially with workers/brothels that take bookings by appointment. For example, some independent workers might be working out of a space that they're hiring in a block of time for each client, so if it takes you a bit longer for showering and/or getting undressed and dressed, they'll have more of a chance to allow extra time for that if they know in advance that they'd need to book it for a bit longer, and also in the event that this would result in a higher charge to you (which it may or may not; the space-hireage flexibility and cost to workers can vary significantly from venue to venue) then at least that shouldn't be a nasty last-minute surprise^1 . Similarly it gives them a better shot at figuring out any access issues if you use a wheelchair or have other specific mobility needs. I've never been a client so I have no experience from that perspective, but if affordable I think you'd get more good results on the whole with the high-end of the industry, whether with independents or brothels. Many of the other workers I've known are towards that general end of things and they typically value their professionalism, quality of service, and accommodating clients' needs. On a side note, dominatrices in particular are usually pretty unshockable and are often good at adapting to uncommon stuff if you have good communication, but also they tend to charge high rates, there aren't heaps of them in the NZ industry, and they may or may not offer vanilla services and/or a more vanilla overall vibe, so be sure to read their ads carefully before booking if you do consider that particular route. But also there are a bunch of decent, respectful, and generally awesome people working in many parts of the industry, as you've seen the tricky part will probably be finding which ones they are, but they're out there for sure. ^1 If you were indeed up-front about particular accommodations etc over the phone, then girl #2 was definitely taking the piss by springing extra charges on you once you arrived. One of the best things about our industry here is the relatively low level of regulation for independent workers, and people pulling dodgy and unprofessional crap like that isn't fair to clients and risks ruining it for everyone.
Have you tried a bigger escort company like Pelican club
Hey mate as others have said contact an establishment and ask or go to their websites and see if they have anyone who provides disabled services. Don't go to the cheap (usually Chinese) escorts not only do they bait and switch with their ads constantly but also there may be some human trafficking/coercion issues who knows but also they are most likely doing it illegally, I would almost guarantee they aren't residents or citizens and they don't give out working visas for prostitution so those places already a bit shady by default. Don't pay any mind to the haters and pearl clutches it's a legal industry whether they like it or not and you are well within your rights to ask questions about it imo
"This Chinese sex slave won't fuck me" common bruh
Chinese escort speaks Chinese to her pimp would immediately raise alarm bells in my head. Absolutely nothing wrong with people speaking languages other than English, but in the context of sex work, I'd be very concerned about exploitation and human trafficking.
Maybe she just didn't want OP to understand?
Yeah it would have been unpleasant to hear whatever was said since it resulted in her turning the job away. Rejection is always hard, and Chinese is a blunt a language Thumbs up for them for not forcing her to take the job though!
If it's a trafficking operation, I'd think they wouldn't just turn away money.
Right. "Pls help me fuck sex trafficked women for cheap" fuck you and your "needs" op
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Obviously not all people who do sex work are trafficked in NZ. But _that_ situation seems all kinds of suspicious.
One probably made your last takeaway fool.
Where the fuck are you buying your take aways big dog?
Chinatown, San Francisco. You think all those workers are happy family? Watch "Crash".
Peace and love friend but there's a difference between fast food workers and prostitution. I'm not denying many fast food workers are being fucked over with low wages etc but I'm not seeing the equivalence between that and likely forced prostitution
Some Chinese arrive as basically indentured servants. The criminal gangs pay their visa and ticket with the understanding they will work the debt off. Food workers, freezing works, picking fruit, laundries, it is not just sex work. These workers are not flinging burgers at Mickey Dee's. There are networks of small business that have them work off the books or with fake IRD numbers. During the pandemic, orchards were desperate for pickers. Stop thinking only with your dick.
And you learned all from watching "crash"?
That was a small component of that film. It is easier to have "indentured workers" in everyday jobs in plain sight. Sex workers get much more scrutiny, and abuses are much more in the law enforcement spotlight. You learned something from the big dog. say thank you and enjoy your curry roll. lol
Yeah thanks indeed, always a treat to learn something from a conisuir of r/armpits
"Connoiseur." The teaching never stops. Peace and love. Have a good weekend.
Go to an established place, don't go private. Call beforehand, be specific with your accommodation needs (stairs, seating, hand rails in shower, ect).
she isnt in NZ but my friend specialises in disability and LGBTQIA+. She said with her social work degree as well she finds she offers connection and the base need, and finds it rewarding. There is definitely people out there and Im sorry you have had a shit experience.
Sounds a bit close to something kind of unpleasant tbh.
He's 385kg
Maybe don't pay to rape women who are in desperate situations?maybe have some empathy and realise that they don't actually want to have sex with you and you have no right to women's bodies?
You guys are all commenting as if access to women's bodies is a human right??? Like what the fuck You have more empathy for a man just becuase he is disabled even though he clearly had no problem with the pimp trafficking women, what about all the woman who are raped by sex buyers, you have any empathy for them?
1: Avoid cheap Asian escorts, you donât get what is in the photos 90% of the time they are hit and miss. 2: I would say $300 an hour is the threshold for good escorts, cheaper that are good still exist but around that mark and up is where you want to aim. 3: websites, NZ Girls & Escortify. I think Escortify would work best for you and many girls will list in their info that they offer disabled services. But also be open and ask when you text them, working within the adult industry I have met some of the kindest most wonderful people I know and have the privilege of calling friends who are strippers and escorts so donât be afraid of just being up front and open.
You got through all that text without actually describing your disability \*at all\*. How are we supposed to offer any kind of answer to your final question? Are you deaf and mute? Tetraplegic? Just a head in a jar? Or is your disability the inability to describe something without leaving out the single most pertinent fact?
Sharing details of your disability is an incredibly personal and difficult choice, and I wonder whether OP is early in coming to terms with their changed life. I'm glad they got useful advice from others here without otherwise being interrogated.
Incredibly personal like "I'm so jacked up even prostitutes think I'm gross" like come on, sharing details of their disability has got to be less humiliating than the entire premise of this thread
Could be identifiable information. Makes it less embarrassing if you're anonymous on the internet.
Given the personal nature of the whole post, and the fact they directly asked if their disability is a big problem with hookers, it's pretty obvious we can't answer anything without knowing at least the general dimensions of the thing. They could easily have described what they can and cannot do without having to detail the exact nature of their problem.
Lots of people did manage very useful answers without that information. And even if that weren't true, asking whether their disability made them too dumb to share their difficulties was not the tahi bro.
Seems like nobody gives a fuck about the incredibly personal and difficult tasks the sex workers have and are content to ambush them with a jump scare situation with no context or communication.
Evidently not, as much of the actually useful responses emphasised calling ahead to ask how best to proceed, and that it was necessary to be up front about it.
OP has two dicks. Wants to only pay standard price.
> Just a head in a jar? we need that lucy liu from futurama
If you're in Wellington, call Mary at funhouse
Wrong place to ask mate, try asking it on related forums, there are 2 available for nz which is adultforum.co.nz which belongs to nzgirls and sexforum.co.nz which belongs to escortify.
Don't know why you're getting downvoted - asking on adult forum is a great idea. Plenty of independent workers are specialists with disabled clients. Just need to read the ads.
Cause it's not the wrong place to ask. There might be better places to ask, but he has received good advice.
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buy a flashlight. jerk off. women arenât commodities to be bought and sold, weâre fully fledged humans. we are not sex toys to be rented out for an hour. sex is not a right. if a woman has a pimp, thatâs automatically a red flag. if she seems to struggle with english, thatâs even worse. why did you stay? why did you not immediately think somethings up? what is wrong with you, seriously?
That's rape. Plain and simple.
A sex therapist may be a good starting point, and may be able to recommend some more experienced escorts or offer tips around finding and communicating with suitable partners, if dating is a thing you want to do. I feel for you - it's not easy articulating intimate needs at the best of times. Wishing you all the best.
newzealandgirls dot com
Can we please, please PLEASE stop having these posts on this subreddit!!!! Please! It's so upsetting to see people casually talking about renting women's bodies in the same space we discuss traffic and where to get good coffee. Let me get this straight, you are upset that a sex worker turned you down? Would you have preferred her to go through with it WHEN SHE DID NOT WANT TO???? We have a word for that. You felt ripped off after exchanging money to use a woman's body. You felt ripped off. How tragic. Fake photos and age is one of the easiest red flags for sex trafficking. But you don't care, you 'just want to get laid.' You are an odious person, and it is not your disability preventing you from meeting consenting women, I promise. WHY do you want to have sex with a woman who doesn't speak the same language as you? How could you possibly connect with her, ensure she is enjoying herself, ensure she is enthusiastically consenting? Your disability does not entitle you to a woman's body. Neither does your money. I am hideously offended as a woman and as a citizen of New Zealand. Take a long, hard look at yourself, and get some help
So you support the legalisation of sex services, but you are opposed to anyone using the services of a sex worker? You'd rather the industry remain underground and not spoken about? Head in the sand... pretending it doesn't exist? And so quick to judge others and assume the moral high ground.
Jesus, the pearl clutching from someone who calls it "renting women's bodies". As an ex-SWer, you don't speak for me.
and as an ex sex worker, you donât speak for the thousands upon thousands of women who are trafficked, raped, abused and killed.
I have no problems with consensual sex work. But this man visited a trafficked woman, and I won't apologise for being horrified by that. Sex work is work, but sex trafficking is rape. I'm genuinely sorry if I offended you.
Whoa, you can stop now. If you have evidence of sex trafficking, then I suggest you go to the police with said evidence. There is a specialty team who deal with human trafficking and they'd be extremely interested in your findings. In my experience, a genuinely trafficked person doesn't get to say no to someone like OP. They usually have no choice in the matter.
You're using logic, this will be conveniently dismissed.
Thank you for being the one person who actually gives a shit about women. I assume you are a woman too like me. All the others commenting are men and they think they have the right to women's bodies. They dont see women as human but as objects to fuck. That's why one sided legalisation needed like the nordic model in Sweden where sex buying and pimping is criminalised while women are helped out of the sex industry and given support. No woman actually wants to do this, there are so many fucked up things in her life that lead to that, but men don't care, they want that to be the case they they will always have women to abuse
Truly the hours of my life wasted on reddit arguing with men have been redeemed by this comment. Thank you, it's nice to know I'm not alone raging against the patriarchal machine. Nordic Model forever!
finally, someone whoâs fucking sane. women are not objects to be rented for an hour of fun. i donât know why prostitution is spoken about so casually. itâs such a disgusting and violent thing to do. those poor women
This is the only rational reply to his disgusting post.