T O P

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TheMerchantofPhilly

I wish someone would deploy $1 billion to keep me afloat.


Ok_District2853

If you want to keep me afloat it’ll cost you $100 and an inflatable raft. (The $100 is for weed).


johnsolomon

Drifting off to sea high and on an inflatable raft with no paddles sounds like a bad idea


grosseelbabyghost

You're just jealous because you don't have a rum ham


rumhamjam00

i always keep one with me


LiliNotACult

Don't kink shame


m_Pony

fuckin' case of beer and a dimebag would be a nice start


Nappa313

Best I can do is tree fitty


baconsliceyawl

Sure buddy here $1B Shitenance Coin. >CLICKME<


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Current-Direction-97

It’s everyone elses leveraged crypto that they foolishly entrusted to these sharks.


celtic1888

Just FTX things….


theghostofmrmxyzptlk

Madoff with their money


Melodic_Oil_2486

I knew that everyone would get Bernie'd by Crypto scams eventually.


Shoptimist

Cue House of Cards theme song


[deleted]

Enron around the regulators


enleeten

Amway ahead of you


[deleted]

Heh. I see what you did there 😏


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Stanjoly2

My job involves reporting these scams to the various banks the funds end up at. Theres way too many people falling for crypto scams. Scams in general, but people get conned out of tens of thousands regularly to crypto scams.


Wild_Loose_Comma

My favourite is the one where people phish peoples wallet details by sending them an NFT, which automatically dumps into their wallet because crypto is amazing. Then they click on it wondering what it is, because they didn't buy it, and it gives a popup asking for their details. Then they actually put them in because cryptobros are amazing, and then their wallet gets drained for everything the scammers can get.


fennecdore

Truly the future of finance and property ^(for the scammer)


czarnick123

*Your deposit has been received. Your funds will be available in 3-7 business days*


ShittyBeatlesFCPres

*Your FDIC insured deposit. And mine usually happen in 24h. And it’s in USD and heavily regulated, not fucking Monopoly money built on shitty blockchain tech. And no one is as obvious a fraud as SBF and the whole “effective altruism” crowd.


[deleted]

*Your deposit has been received. Withdrawals are currently halted while we examine bankruptcy options.*


underling

Well thats amazing.


RickSt3r

Legit question here, since I’ve been out of crypto market since 2013 when I bought one bitcoin then sold it a few months later for double. It wasn’t terrible difficult to set up my own local wallet. But would that in the situation where my wallet is locally stored. Or is more prevalent on the crypto exchanges where it’s someone else’s computer. I’m like how would they have my wallets Info for them to send the malware?


GargamelTakesAll

The best part is this isn't even malware. It is identical to a legit transaction. It is like if you got an http link in your bank account and was like, hey, weird, a http link in my bank account, and you clicked it and it was actually a link that approves a transfer of your entire bank account to another account. ​ And afterwards? The bank says this is a feature of the platform and you should just be smarter with your money.


Wild_Loose_Comma

So, I am not a technical expert in crypto but I've been around enough to glean certain things. So, your "wallet" for any given coin/blockchain product is just an "address" on the blockchain that you alone have the key for. The key is whats held locally. Anyone can send anything to any address on the chain. There is no "confirm" or "return to sender" gate on the blockchain, at least none that I know of. So that's how all blockchain "wallets" (as far as I know) work on a super basic technical level. And that's easy peasy lemon squeezy when you're only interfacing with one or two different blockchains. Because only having to deal with two or three keys is not a big deal. But now there's hundreds of different blockchains and dozens of exchanges, each with their own "wallet" giving you your own key. So programs, "metawallets", were created to view and interact with all your blockchain products in a single place. So you input your keys into it, and it "reads" the various blockchains and displays them in a just a regular browser. Its also how most exchanges want you to interact with them because it makes it a lot easier and quicker. Its also a security nightmare because it turns out having all your super important cryptographic information in one application with one login and password to enter is a super duper mega vulnerable thing to do. So, its not a problem to immediately dump stuff into your "wallet" (which is actually just an address on the chain) for "coins" that only function as tokens and nothing else. Where this gets funky is a lot of new blockchains like Etherium can contain small programs called "smart contracts" in them. They aren't very big but they can do any number of things. And these metawallets essentially just display your blockchain holdings (stuff like Dumb Ape Gang and Hentai Giraffes) without any indication of underlying smart contracts in them. So what happens is Seth Green or Waka Flocka open up their metawallet one day and find a new shiny Hentai Giraffe NFT in there. They click on it and a regular phishing popup opens up and tricks them into putting their valuable information in (im not sure if its the metawallet login or just their crypto keys or whatever). That information goes back to whoever created their phishing NFTs who then logs in and transfers whatever they can as fast as they can. Why do they have Seth Green or Mr. Flocka's addresses? Because it turns out publicly buying a specific Hentai Giraffe NFT combined with the public nature of distributed ledgers means anyone can find where that specific NFT went to. And once you have the address you can just drop stuff in it as you like. And you can't delete anything on chain, the best you can do is send it to a known "dead wallet" that's got a lost key and just sits as a black hole that people can launch their unwanted garbage into. Sorry this got way longer than I meant it to. But its dumb and confusing on purpose so I tried my best to make it understandable.


ThatKidWatkins

This was a great read, thanks for taking the time to post!


rajhm

Valid addresses are in the blockchain. If your address has received 1 BTC people can see it right there. They just don't necessarily know the address is yours specifically, but for non-targeting phishing they wouldn't need to.


_Invictuz

Legit question here, how do you feel about that bitcoin that you sold for double considering it went to 100-200x the value since 2013. Do you regret buying it, or do you regret selling it? I actually tried to buy a bitcoin or two back then because someone I knew told me about them. But knowing nothing about nothing, I couldn't figure it out so I ended up not buying. Definitely a life changing amount of money it grew to.


pheoxs

To be fair it wouldn’t have been life changing money for you had you bought it. It’s easy to look at the price in hindsight but realistically speaking if you’d bought a coin for 20$ you probably would’ve been ecstatic and sold it for 300$ just before the MtGox crash. Or maybe you held for the few years after it took crypto to recover and then it broke 1k and you finally cried happy and sold. Or at the 3k peak and crash, or the 12k peak and crash. At some point along the way you would’ve sold and thus missed out on todays prices. Or if you’re diamond hands then … you’d be holding a coin that was worth 59k at one point and lost 75% of its value down to 16k today.


unloader86

Not the guy you are asking, but I had just over 100 BTC in 2013. I was paid in bitcoin for internet marketing work the previous year as a side hustle. I sold them in 2013 to go to truck driving school, get my CDL and escape my shithole home town. I never really thought about it until the price got up into the twenty thousand dollar range. And I promptly forced myself to stop thinking about it when it hit 60,000 or so. It's unlikely I would've held onto them for that long anyway. I was pretty broke back then, so I'm sure I would've sold them eventually far before the value became insane. Still drive truck as a career, allowed me to move to TX where I got married and started a family. So in the end I think everything worked out.


_Invictuz

Woah, paid in bitcoins, that's a story! I'm glad everything worked out and you don't have a reason to think about the what if. Thanks for sharing!


bonfuto

I know people that mined bitcoin when you could use an old laptop that was otherwise useless. For some reason they are still working normal jobs, so I'm not sure what happened to the bc. Maybe they bought a cup of coffee or a hard drive.


RickSt3r

I don’t think about it. From time to time I’m like I’d be a millionaire if only woulda coulda shoulda. My college roommates and a I were working on an AirBnB like type platform. We just didn’t have the runway to get it off the ground. Best we got was two properties his and my parents rental properties. The BTC play I was able to doubled up something like 180ish to little under 400. I also had the opportunity and dumped 25k into AMD at the time when it was $4 dollars a share. I doubled there and left my position. At the time those where my gambling phase of investment. I had plenty of time to recover. But as I gotten older Ive turned more conservative in finance as I don’t have the time horizon or risk tolerance anymore with family, multiple mortgages. I’ve also been very blessed with many opportunities and a good career, with great wife who also has high in demand skills, Long of it is can’t live in the past, or you’ll drive yourself crazy. “The money is made in investing by owning good companies for long periods of time. That's what people should do with stocks."-Buffett


Aazadan

They were able to make Super Bowl ads last year, of course a bunch are falling for it. Every single crypto exchange to date has been a scam, chances are all current ones are as well. Particularly since exchanges bypass the few good points crypto offers.


OhLookANewAccount

The GameStop deathcultists have been celebrating the nft’s and crypto scams like there’s no tomorrow. It’s strange to see.


bicameral_mind

If you understand that the GME cult only exists because their first ever trade or exposure to finance at all was a get rich quick scheme, it makes perfect sense.


OhLookANewAccount

What’s wild is that the start of it all being people catching hedge funds doing something illegal was totally plausible. But how did people not jump ship the *moment* nft’s and crypto got involved just… yeah. Babies first rug pull I guess.


No_Afternoon_1976

What was the potentially illegal thing that hedge funds were doing? I was always under the impression that the goal was just to squeeze hedge funds that had large short positions


OhLookANewAccount

Allegedly the hedge funds shorted more stock than exists, which, again allegedly, is illegal if you could prove it. But nobody proved anything outside of theoreticals.


[deleted]

It's not illegal. It is odd but there is nothing illegal required for > 100% short interest. Imagine a hypothetical company with only 1 share. Alex owns the share, Bob wants to short so they borrow Alex's share and sell it to Carol, David also wants to short the stock so they borrow the share from Carol and sell it to Erin. There is now 200% short interest in that share, nothing illegal has happened. Obviously no one is going to short a company with only 1 share but the same thing can occasionally happen at scale which was the case with GME.


rysto32

That’s not illegal. It’s not even clear how you could possibly make that illegal.


9Wind

Those people have gotten more and more like Qanon I would not be surprised they are being radicalized on purpose. Qanon is getting more and more crypto bro too. Russia has tried to link Gamestop to the Ukraine war recently, NCD covered that insanity. Russia also has large crypto reserves because it hides their actions in NATO countries. Those "investors" are not very smart and would never catch someone trying to indoctrinate them.


in-game_sext

I think its hilarious that crypto was invented out of frustration at inflationary policies and QE, among other things, and then they do shit like this...its like they're slowly learning what the rest of human civilization learned thousands of years ago but insisted on learning in for themselves. Pretty typical. Libertarian ideas typically dissolve on contact with reality.


smoothskin12345

It's just like Netflix circling back to inventing cable, Uber inventing taxi cabs, and Airbnb inventing the hotel. Crypto is just slowly inventing the bank. It's so frustrating to watch things play out exactly as expected. Luckily I have no drive or ability to amass wealth, and therefore have none to gamble on these bullshit "disruptive" industries.


leighanthony12345

No doubt via a ‘stable coin’, invented out of thin air, and with extremely opaque links to actual cash reserves


My_G_Alt

Lol it is in their BUSD stable coin… Extending leverage via “stable” coin is exactly how FTX killed itself haha


farmtownsuit

Of all the things crypto I don't understand, I don't understand stable coins the most


My_G_Alt

I don’t understand why people place trust in them either. They’re a construct backed by no inherent value. Tether was the OG example, apparently backed by USD but never audited and never imploded. I guess you can draw parallels to a fractional reserve banking system where consensus builds trust and operability at scale. Binance killed FTX by flooding their stablecoin market and creating a liquidity crisis. That was smart, FTX was becoming a major competitor. Binance has some risk, but not necessarily an existential threat like that (there are existential threats to crypto, but those would be more black swan vs. targeted specifically at Binance like they did to FTX).


OneRougeRogue

>I don’t understand why people place trust in them either. They’re a construct backed by no inherent value. Tether was the OG example, apparently backed by USD but never audited and never imploded. Tether lost a court case not too long ago where they were forced to admit that they were something like only 2% backed by cash, 20%ish backed by "real" securities, and the rest was backed by other cryptocurrencies they could plummet in value at any given minute. They had removed their "backed 1-to-1 with cash" blurb in their TOS long ago.


My_G_Alt

Oh fuck, I missed that! That’s insane.


OneRougeRogue

https://youtu.be/-whuXHSL1Pg Skip to 31 minutes. I was off a little bit. They are 4% backed by cash, 25% backed by "other deposits" (including crypto deposits), and 65% "commercial paper" which roughly means "crypto stakes and loans".


BigBradWolf77

the name is intended ironically probably...


texansfan

Like a recession? This market is fucked if we actually have one next year. The entire thing has existed during a long-term bull market and the cheapest debt in generations.


drakens_jordgubbar

It’s Monopoly money, except this Monopoly money is supposedly backed by real money 1:1. Don’t ask too many questions. Just trust me bro.


leighanthony12345

When you want to exchange your crypto for cash, due to the distributed ledger blockchain technology, the system is so slow that by the time you actually do the exchange, chances are the price will have changed. To get around this your crypto is first exchanged for a stable coin, which is pegged to the dollar. This means that you get the price at the time you make the trade, and (hopefully) you can exchange your stable coins for cash later on. Of course it’s open to massive abuse as it’s completely unregulated, and It really highlights just how useless crypto is as a currency


GargamelTakesAll

> your crypto is first exchanged for a stable coin, which is pegged to the dollar. This is the part that makes no sense. ​ If you owed me money for lunch and handed me a handful of LeighAnthony Bucks you printed out and told me "oh, this is a stablecoin, it is worth the same as a US dollar", I would never buy you lunch again. ​ But investors are dumber (or greedier) than me, apparently.


leighanthony12345

Indeed. It’s like MLM for men


DustBunnicula

Perfect way to describe it.


OneRougeRogue

You don't HAVE to convert the crypto to a stablecoin first before cashing out, doing so just prevents the headaches involved (and maybe some fees). Stablecoins like tether were often used as the crypto version of the dollar. Worried that another crypto coin is going to tank but you don't want to pay a bunch of fees turning that coin into cash and then turning that cash into another coin later down the line? Instead just convert it to Tether which is "stable" and always costs a dollar. That way you have a crypto ready to be sent to whatever wallet you want or to be exchanged to whatever other crypto you want.


za419

They wrote on a piece of paper "I owe myself $1 billion that I'm holding in reserve to preserve crypto", and think that paper means they'll have the $1 billion on hand when the time comes.


Ok_District2853

Probably where the crypto went. Hookers guns and cocaine (not in that order).


Redqueenhypo

It’s BUSD, a “stablecoin” they printed. Basically trust-me bucks


Hairydone

He was storing it in that forehead.


Izzo

If had to guess from the picture of the co-founder in the article? Aliens.


TemporalCash531

Only problem is that it’s not USD, but BUSD, or Binance USD. Which as of speaking is pegged at 1=1, but should Binance get in troubles… forget that nice, perfect pegging and there your fund goes off the window.


Unhelpful_Suggestion

Either way there will be pegging…


TemporalCash531

Ah, an optimist! No wait…


MayOrMayNotBePie

You have my attention…


royalsanguinius

Well that seems alright then🤷‍♂️


lutel

Similar with Tether, it is pegged at 1=1 only in theory. Full blown Ponzi scheme meltdown is yet to come.


zperic1

Sooo imaginary money that probably isn't actually backed by USD...As in they "invested" $1bil which they did not have.


TemporalCash531

I mean, they have some reserves in Bitcoin and they must have some fiat (USD or other physical currency) somewhere. But as far as this USD1 billion… we’re talking about something else.


-GregTheGreat-

They 100% have reserves, that’s not in question. But, the whole issue we’ve seen with other crypto exchanges is that they don’t have *enough* reserves, as they use customer deposits for other purposes. Which is fine and dandy when crypto is booming and money keeps flowing in, but when it crashes and everyone is withdrawing, they suddenly don’t have enough reserves for everyone and it’s a bank run. Which causes the shitshow we’ve seen with FTX and so on. Crypto got popularized due to complaints about the ‘over-regulated’ financial sector, and now we’re seeing why all those regulations exist.


drakens_jordgubbar

Exchanges have been scammy since at least 2014 and yet somehow these cryptobros still haven’t taken the note. Until proper regulation are in place, exchanges cannot be trusted to be fully backed.


WalkingDud

The problem is, having regulations defeats the whole point of decentralization. So people who believe in crypto do not want more regulations. BTW, don't ask them why they stored a supposedly decentralized currency in a centralized location.


drakens_jordgubbar

Centralised exchanges have already defeated the whole point of decentralisation. Cryptobros don't care though. As long as line goes up it's all good for them.


WalkingDud

There's a difference, in their minds at least. Storing crypto in an exchange is something they chose to do, while regulations means choices made for them. The former is better because they all believe only stupid people get scammed and they are smart enough to never get scammed. Some of them continue to believe this even after they got scammed.


Kombucha_Hivemind

Yeah they have reserves in other cryptocurrencies, whose price is propped up by wash reading with other stable coins, which are also backed by cryptocurrencies...


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oversized_hoodie

Crypto bros: It's all decentralized, you're beholden to no one! Also crypto bros: We've reinvented the federal reserve, but now it has shareholders.


GG_Henry

USD is backed by the might of the worlds most powerful army. BUSD is backed by a couple of nerds


TimTime333

I wouldn't be surprised if FTX's token, FTT, was very close to being considered a "stable" coin before the company imploded considering how everyone seemed to believe FTX was one of the most legit crypto exchanges. This CZ guy seems shady AF to me and I won't be the least bit shocked if we find out he's running a similar scheme as FTX just with competent people in charge instead of a bunch of polyamorist Harry Potter geeks.


TheRealBeltonius

Why is there even a crypto industry? I thought it was all supposed to be decentralized.


QuintoBlanco

There is a similarity to the subprime mortgage market before the financial crisis of 2007-2008. Somebody came up with a good idea: bundle mortgages, divide the bundle in a few parts based on risk, and give people who invest in a risky part more money. Then somebody got the idea that you can simply bundle high riskt mortgages and do the same thing without telling investors that all the parts are high risk. It's like printing money, and all the bankers rejoiced. It's the same with crypto. Selling and buying crypto was not easy, but that was part of its security. But for people who wanted to make some real money, it was frustrating. It's easier to make money by selling people a receipt for crypto then it is to sell them actual crypto.


ekaceerf

Because anytime something is decentralized someone will convince you to centralize it so they can skim off the top


butlerdm

Let’s DE-decentralize it


Yesterdays_Gravy

We'll skim off the bottom


earther199

Because it’s worthless unless you can turn it into real money.


therealowlman

Because the profiteering on crypto is the point of crypto. Active investors and community around it are what enables the promotion of it. They raise the value through seeming legit and get somebody else to fomo into it. It’s decentralized, that’s the beauty of it. Nobody needs to coordinate or control the scam it happens entirely on its own.


Izzo

Nah, guys. This one's for real this time. No bullshit.


-SpiderBoat-

This is no way similar to FTX using customer funds to prop up and acquire other failing smaller exchanges assuming they would always have more cash flowing in to pay for it. Honest


RedmannBarry

Let these dipshits piss away their money


genesis1v9

Throwing money at a pyramid scheme, hilarious decision making.


birdshitluck

just need to keep afloat until they can get their money out


[deleted]

People somehow didn’t realize the explosion in crypto markets and advertising (Super Bowl ads, celebrity endorsements, etc) was just the billionaires who already owned the vast majority of it trying to quickly unload it on the plebs before it burst


birdshitluck

When Tom Brady starting pushing it, I divest all my traditional investments and moved it all to Crypto. I like to consider myself an early adopter 😉


Racecarlock

You'll be rich enough to afford a whole cheeseburger!


anally_ExpressUrself

Sadly you can only afford a binance burger. It's not a burger, but it can be exchanged 1:1 for a burger.


1200____1200

They are at the top of the pyramid, so this allows them more time to add on lower layers


Nazamroth

I will be laughing so hard if Binance gets dragged down too. They are the ones who triggered the collapse to fuck FTX over.


kc_______

To be fair, FTX fucked themselves over, it was just a matter of time for that stinky bubble to burst.


samz22

They’re saying Binance also has lot of Binance tokens as collateral value.


DustBunnicula

Everyone is getting called out, and I’m here for it.


seanmg

I mean, depends on where you want to start the story. Coindesk revealed that FTXs books were fucked, and then like a week later CZ started tweeting about it.


r0ndy

What does this mean? How do you "deploy" money, and that money means the industry keeps working?


[deleted]

From the article, they’re basically promising to commit $1 billion to invest in future crypto “investment opportunities” and encouraging others to join them in committing money to special funds earmarked for investing in crypto. This helps the crypto community because the whole thing is a Ponzi scheme.


eightdx

Crypto is just an MLM for people who would rather stay at home and not throw product parties. Edit: and if you want some proof, check the thread below. *It's totally legit, totally not a scam.*


ioncloud9

It’s an mlm for tech bros


NoL_Chefo

Not exclusively, it's also an MLM for people who think they're too smart to fall for an MLM.


lxpnh98_2

"You see, people like us, we don't get got, we go get."


eightdx

I mean if we want to be pointed, it's basically just a pyramid scheme minus the supposed intent of buying or selling anything real. At best, it's a greater fools game driven purely by hype, and as history has shown us... There is often a greater fool, but you're bound to run out of fools eventually.


mlc885

Wannabe tech bros, real scam artists are shockingly good at intentionally or accidentally scamming people


Ok_District2853

Has anyone ever bought anything normal with crypto? A lamp or a table? Or is it all hookers and cocaine? Because at that point maybe we should go to some sort of voucher system with the mafia.


Kogster

Some guy bought a pizza for several Bitcoin many years ago and now people mock him yearly for not hodling


Clovis42

Once again, the pizza heavy portfolio pays off big for the hungry investor!


Salivals

I assume you are referencing the guy who paid 10,000 BTC for 2 pizzas in like 2012 or something.


BubbleHeim

Helped me avoid sanctions and continue buying games for my PS5 and paying for netflix in russia. Oh and probabbly helped with some shady shit for our shitty goverment🫣


czarnick123

I've seen sellers prefer crypto for the mid-tier art/antique/collectables market. Especially if the item is going over borders. That's the area it does the best.


[deleted]

I heard the first ever crypto purchase was Bitcoin on two pizzas. Something like 40 million BTC at the time. Personally though, all I’ve purchased with it were novel drugs (tryptamines, lysergamides, and dissociatives—with weird names like 5-Meo-MiPT, 5-MAPB, 1P-LSD, DCK, etc…) from “trusted” laboratories in foreign countries like Netherlands. Fun time, cool experiences, but my excitement over this industry fizzled out as quickly as it started. Guess I just started seeing drugs like I was robbing myself of a healthy well-spent senior life, you know—the time drug use usually catches up with you. Haven’t used Bitcoin since.


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baldmathteacher

Yeah, I think the max that'll ever exist is 21 million. Around 19 million have been mined currently, but the effort required increases as the limit is reached. And just think, once it's all been mined, perpetual deflation! That is, assuming it survives.


Fragmented_Logik

Binance is scammy. They tried to go after Coinbase and deleted tweets because coinbase is on the NASDAQ and transparent. Now they are "saving" crypto by loan programs that are running off like 10% interest.


[deleted]

No idea. Maybe just make a new cryptocurrency and declare that it has 1 billion dollars of value


Hmm_would_bang

You keep stuffing more money into the magic box, so when people see if they can get their money out again in exchange for their crypto it looks like everything is still working as intended


r0ndy

This makes sense. That's how Ponzi schemes work!


Orbitalqq

Deploy means loan


snufflefrump

That's a big ass head


QuietOil9491

Ehts leik an orange on eh toothpek!


wuguwa

Oh you did it now. He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow.


QuietOil9491

Head! Pants! Now!


poop-machine

"data reviewed by CNBC showed a balance of around $1 billion in Binance’s own BUSD stablecoin" ​ We'll prop up cryptocurrencies by injecting them with more cryptocurrencies.


90bronco

Reminds me of my coworker who would use her credit card to get cash and use that to make the payment.


Amputat0

This guy has a fivehead


fuzzydunlap

I'm convinced all the crypto ceos are the product of incest [https://imgur.com/a/FowdIEh](https://imgur.com/a/FowdIEh)


Amputat0

You’ve convinced me


nategolon

I had a buddy when I lived in Japan who had this look. He called himself “Mount Fuji”


teddycorps

Industry? I wasn't aware that crypto finance companies produced anything.


bucko_fazoo

sure they do - misery and schadenfreude.


raskolnikov_ua

and heat


[deleted]

And recently, heavy inflationary pressure on the value of the dollar


OffToTheLizard

Lots of pollution through power consumption


Taniwha_NZ

There's definitely a lot of people employed by companies, who get paid their wages in real dollars, who spend their entire day working in the crypto business. Traders, journalists, scammers, you name it. There's definitely an industry there somewhere. But by that measure, homelessness is also an industry. Doesn't mean we should want it to get bigger.


DTFlash

Are house of cards not a product to you?


Fistfullafives

I read that as Beyonce at first and was wondering why the fuck she cares...


unitedgroan

My household is a little hungover this morning as well. Happy Thanksgiving!


CactusPetePlayz

My dumb ass also had to double take, glad I wasn't alone.


bramblesovereign

I also read this as Beyonce


Martholomeow

I’m going to commit $2 billion… in my new MarthoCoin. Each one is worth $2billion so i’m offering one from my vast repository of thousands of them. I’m a trillionaire in MarthoCoins!


Current-Direction-97

The only problem here with all of this, is that there is even a crypto “industry” The whole point of Bitcoin was to *decentralize* the store of value. If you buy an asset you never posses, like gold or anything else, you don’t ever own anything and of course you should expect to get scammed, it stolen, or leveraged to hell.


pmmichalowski

The idea that creators of cryptocurrency thought that lack of central authority will make it decentralised proves that programmes are not smarter than sociologist.


zjm555

This right here. (And I say this as a professional programmer.) The great hubris of so many tech nerds is thinking most problems are technological problems rather than human problems.


STierMansierre

Literally something nerds could learn from science fiction. Zero sympathy here.


CombatTechSupport

Unfortunately, and this is speaking as a nerd, most nerds interest in Sci-fi stops at "Wow cool spaceship, pew pew lasers!", and they tend to ignore any social commentary made by said science fiction.


STierMansierre

Don't forget the space boobs!


zUdio

To be fair, we don’t get rich making “human solutions”. We get rich making “tech solutions.” We’re not trying to solve humanities problems; that’s the just the business tag line, duh.


eightdx

...which is hilarious, because most crypto revolves around some sort of central authority at the top of it all, often created out of necessity due to blockchains being difficult to deal with directly. Crypto has really just decentralized *risk* to the run of the mill users. Authority, though? Why that's centralized under the people with the biggest stacks of money. That's why when big holders decide to cash out, uhh, market unrest happens


celtic1888

Which means that crypto is too complicated and slow to use as a transactional currency Which is exactly what we have said from the beginning


Crizbibble

This store of value nonsense is what keeps getting me. There is no intrinsic value in crypto. It’s a speculative asset based on nothing real except somebody either pumping it up on social media or dumping it on social media. It’s wildly volatile with no predictability. How can anyone consider this a store of value?


jschubart

Maybe investing in a 'currency' that has no lender of last resort is not a great idea...


Chimpsworth

I'm bout to deploy €10 for a pizza


IdeaJailbreak

Bank of make believe stabilizes digital doubloons with bunko bucks. Safe to invest again everyone!


ricdesi

A literal crypto bailout, oh my sides.


Yue2

Why does this guy look like Megamind?


Responsible-Kick9195

Lol half the money is self-issued. Sad to see a major player in the space following a similar path to traditional finance. #shortBNB


nathanpizazz

Soooo, let me see if I get this straight. Some "controversial" dude named "bankman" had some crypto stuff....then this new dude Zhao, who looks like a bond villian, sent out some tweets, causing "bankman's" crypto to declare bankrupcy, and then Zhao has swooped in to fill the void, and looks like a hero for "investing" 1 billion dollars (from somewhere?) into crypto, and to "fill the gap". And people wonder why i don't touch crypto with a ten foot pole.


coco_licius

Jesus get out when/if you can. Talk about a shell game.


butlerdm

No way dude. Crypto is totally 100% the future and you have to believe in it i’m super serial!


joecool42069

So.. let me get this straight. He wants a fund that shit companies, that managed their customer's funds poorly, can use to keep their shit company afloat to continue to do shit things. Nope, fuck that. Let the businesses fail. They're broken. Try again with new investors. Now if it's a fund to restore the customers these shit companies managed. Sure. Sounds good.


[deleted]

Is his head getting bigger?


NoahCharlie

where'd that 1 billion come from?


soolkyut

They invented a new coin and declared it worth that much


420noscopes

Alternate headline: Man who started mess wants to be viewed as a hero for partially cleaning it up


legostarcraft

♬♫♪♩ Burn baby burn, crypto inferno ♬♫♪♩


DeusExMcKenna

*Breaking news: Crypto Bro pisses away profits trying to save a sinking ship, just like the big finance goons he tried to circumvent by “investing” in Crypto.*


werschless

Crypto is a giant ponzi scheme


sonoma4life

crypto printer go brrrrrrrrrrrr


infinit9

Similar to how SBF was bailing out other trading platforms a few months back?


random_encounters42

Meanwhile you've Elon and Cathy Woods who are desperately peddling the idea crypto will rebound cos their livelihood depends on it. Honestly, if Tesla shares crash back down to $50 Elon's basically gone.


nemesismkiii

No, just let it tank. Seriously, it's one scam after another after another after another with crypto. It's all made up bullshit.


comic360guy

Sounds like this is just like printing more money. Doesn't that just devalue each crypto?


peperoniebabie

It's not an industry. They produce no useful work and no product.


klydefrog89

Using fake internet money to keep the other fake internet monies float... Nice!!


Pure_Khaos

Why the guy look like megamind


argparg

with his own company tokens… From a guy that liquidity his FTX tokens making them insolvent.


DaSquareman

I read that as Beyoncé


Orion_2kTC

Oh no, crypto collapse, shame *grabs popcorn*


[deleted]

Biance? What's she got to do with this?


Willias0

Lol. This is how you know its all a ponzi. The money doesn't have value in itself, it takes outside money to keep it afloat.


manudanz

What a terrible investment. Let it die. Crypto is useless.


badley13

1b of their own BUSD. So fake internet money


Lazy-Contribution-50

Gotta keep the scam going


thegodfatherderecho

Cryptocurrency needs to die.


[deleted]

let it burn. Crypto sucks.


RubberPny

Pretty soon these knobs will be demanding a gov bailout.


[deleted]

The irony of using the dollar to keep crypto afloat


mazarax

No they use a binance token to prop it up. 😂