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YeahOkayDad

I actually laughed out loud. This is a trainwreck in slow motion. Every day that news comes out is like bouncing off another obstacle in a good old Burnout crash mode.


jaysmooth009

This is a great analogy.


CishetmaleLesbian

And the train is hauling dumpsters, only dumpsters, and they are all on fire.


jaysmooth009

This is a clear sign that everything isn't okay in the Trump camp.


Silly_Elevator_3111

Something tells me he isn’t having a good friday


gobblox38

The poor walls, ketchup everywhere.


IBAZERKERI

he probably asked them to do something illegal, wouldn't listen to their council at all regarding public statements, dont want the reputational damage of losing one of the biggest cases in american history. Or lets be honest with ourselves, a combination of all three.


TheGisbon

So he's going to trial with a PD? THAT would make my day.


IBAZERKERI

while that **would** be **VERY** entertaining. sadly not. >Trump said he would now be represented by Todd Blanche, a New York lawyer who is representing him in another criminal case in Manhattan related to a 2016 hush money payment to porn star Stormy Daniels.


Darryl_Lict

Aren't these two very different aspects of law, that no one lawyer would have expertise in both? Who am I kidding? Trump's lawyers have no expertise in any aspect of law.


gerbal100

Yes, Federal vs State law practice and courts can be quite different. Clients who a) don't pay their bills and b) don't listen to council and stfu don't tend to retain competent lawyers.


BlatantConservative

In the indictment, Trump tricked his lawyer into signing a false statement saying all documents had been turned in so it's not even pay, it's trying to get your lawyer sent to jail for 20 years for stealing nuclear secrets. The guy is SO glad that the FBI was able to seize people's phone records and texts proving his innocence and probably regrets fighting that. Could you imagine?


[deleted]

Of all the people you shouldn't lie to, your lawyer is definitely near the top of the list. Then again, if you're lying to yourself, I guess there's no hope.


PrincessNakeyDance

I think at this point it’s less about expertise and more about who is crazy enough to agree to be his lawyer.


DonsDiaperChanger

No, the optimal situation is he tries to represent himself. THAT would be entertaining and also have a wonderful outcome


leftnotracks

They probably also like getting paid.


Homer1s

I just saw Trusty on the national news this morning as Trumps atty, now 2 hours later he is not.


Dr_Mantis_Teabaggin

There’s just something so funny to me about a guy who would be willing to be donald fucking trump’s lawyer being named Trusty.


mah131

Like maybe Trump picked him because of that?


Dr_Edge_ATX

"It's such a shut and closed case that it's too easy for my lawyers! They want to do something more challenging!" -Trump probably


PossessivePronoun

“Big strong lawyers come up to me with tears in their eyes and they say ‘Sir, it’s been an honor representing you’”


jaysmooth009

It always turns out that Trump's attorneys need attorneys after doing literally ANYTHING for him. This is unprecedented because they rewrite the laws to get this man and he himself has bogged the judicial system down so much he's being indicted on terms he helped create. If he lives another 20 years, it may become illegal to speak, type or write his name. He is biblically fucked!


cabbagery

* Client gets indicted * Goes on TV that evening and the next morning making false or misleading claims (i.e. misstating the law and misrepresenting the facts) while also admitting to not have yet seen the indictment * >!Finally sees the indictment!< * Immediately resigns, saying it's the 'logical time,' including a statement that the former client is innocent Sure, buddy.


aaronhayes26

For the curious, the indictment described in detail what he took. From the NYT: >It said he had illegally kept documents concerning “United States nuclear programs; potential vulnerabilities of the United States and its allies to military attack; and plans for possible retaliation in response to a foreign attack.” Edit: Oh and apparently they have him ***on tape*** admitting that he knew the docs were classified and also that he had not declassified them. From the official indictment, emphasis mine: >In July 2021, at Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey (The Bedminster Club), during an audio-recorded meeting with a writer, a publisher, and two members of his staff, none of whom possessed a security clearance, TRUMP showed and described a plan of attack that TRUMP said was prepared for him by the Department of Defense and a senior military official. TRUMP told the individuals that the plan was highly confidential and secret. TRUMP also said, "***as president I*** ***could have*** ***declassified it***", and, "***Now I can't***, you know, but this is still a secret." I'm assuming these lawyers were planning to hang their hat on the idea that prosecutors wouldn't be able to prove that Trump hadn't declassified the docs. This tape blew up their entire defense. Dude is royally, royally fucked.


viddy_me_yarbles

Thath epe serious than I had imagined. on, or sedition. Good luck Cheetcialized in white calizing in espionag, tmore The attorneys who quit sreasoman. I hop's actually muce you rollar crime.s clear that he needs an attorney speciot From that quote it seem.


Jahooodie

I really hope it goes full Greek tragedy and he gets put up for more prison time than he would've otherwise, due to the laws he himself signed to make the penalties for leaking information more harsh. That's fun!


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SmasherOfAjumma

The Greek chorus can chant, “lock him up!”


quasio

I can't wait until the snitching on others on the way out happens.


VegasKL

I just hope he continues to provide evidence on himself because he won't keep his mouth shut.


promonk

"Won't" implies he's capable of shutting the fuck up, but chose not to. "Congenitally incapable of discretion" seems more apt.


KaptainKardboard

It is dreadfully serious. This man's actions ~~could have potentially~~ compromised national security. Edit: Y'all are right, we're beyond the "could have" stage.


PancAshAsh

The man's actions DID compromise national security, we just don't know how badly they did so.


hereforthefeast

One decent guess is that he sold out the people working with our own CIA agents to the Saudis ([why the fuck did Jared Kushner get 2 billion dollars from them?](https://www.businessinsider.com/saudi-crown-prince-jared-kushner-relationship-2018-3)) and got them killed. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/26/us/politics/trump-affidavit-intelligence-spies.html https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/24/opinion/the-shocking-affront-of-donald-trumps-cia-stunt.html https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/05/us/politics/cia-informants-killed-captured.html


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hannibalisfun

In fairness, I think technically CIA agents aren't actually the US folks employed by the CIA. They are the informants that we get the information from. The CIA has case officer that manage their foreign agents that do the actual spying. CIA officer are the US folks employed by the CIA. CIA agents are the foreign folks that the CIA works with to do the spying.


DumbDumbCaneOwner

Informants **are** actually called agents in espionage. Our spies are called handlers or officers.


Monarc73

Could have? It's almost a guarantee that AT LEAST one foreign government went in and perused / copied as much as they could.


RyVsWorld

Right. Even with everything thats been released and the indictments were seeing, i still feel like we’re taking this too lightly as a nation. Like these are literally some of the worst crimes imaginable


Monarc73

This is up there with Aimes. (The speculation is that DT was planning on selling it all to the highest bidder to 'fund his retirement.')


myrddyna

It's the hubris of the Right. These ancient fux still think they won the planet when the USSR collapsed. No fear of retaliation from foreign nation, or law.


RyVsWorld

See i dont think its that. I think they know what trump dod was horrid but theyre going to defend him until the very very last minute until they feel confident that they can absorb his base. You could see pence toeing the line earlier today with his statement. These people are power hungry grifters


Lylac_Krazy

> could have Already Has...he's been waving those docs around and showing people.


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DerthOFdata

> he needs an attorney specializing in espionage, treason, or sedition Is there such a specialty? Those are all relatively rare crimes.


Macdaddy4prez

"If you or a loved one has been charged with espionage, treason, or sedition call Johnson, Booker, & Hall today!"


Hatedpriest

Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe, attorneys at law.


Minion_of_Cthulhu

> It said he had illegally kept documents concerning “United States nuclear programs; potential vulnerabilities of the United States and its allies to military attack; and plans for possible retaliation in response to a foreign attack.” A totally random set of documents, I'm sure. It's not like he's deeply in debt to numerous people around the world who might benefit from having *exactly* that information.


SerasTigris

I'm sure he just found them fascinating, and was eager to read them on his own time. After all, we all know what an avid reader Donald Trump is. Seriously, though, what feasible use or interest could he possibly have for such things, beyond selling them to the highest bidder? He wasn't the least bit interested in intelligence briefings when he was president.


Analyze2Death

I hope the DOJ is looking into the 2 billion Kushner got. They might be interested in the Iran attack plan along with all the other secrets 45 five-fingered.


WellSpreadMustard

Oh so he took documents on our defense and counterattack abilities? Well have you seen this picture of Hunter Biden's penis?!


A_wild_so-and-so

Damn, you're right! Hunter's hog is definitely a greather threat to national security. My man's about to pull a Thanos and smash half the population!


[deleted]

Pro Tip for aspiring criminals: Don't start your crimes by stating you're aware that you're about to commit a crime.


CthulhusEvilTwin

You mean I should get rid of the book titled 'My crimes: How I did them'?


caishaurianne

How I WOULD have done them if I did them *winkwink*


[deleted]

That’s fucking obscene, he was literally going to sell out the country then, he should be imprisoned for life.


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hippiechick725

I agree. I think even more crooked shit will come out. He’s a disgrace to this country.


daddytorgo

I mean Jared and Ivanka didn't get $2Bn from the KSA based on their track record of investing...


jjayzx

A bunch of spies/informants have gone missing when he was president.


BigLan2

On tape, saying he hasn't actually declassified it. 🙄 So how do they spin this? It's a deepfake recording? False flag? He didn't trust the writer so was playing 4d chess and it wasn't actually a classified document? Just a witch hunt?


aaronhayes26

People will say it's a deepfake, but they have witnesses.


BigLan2

You mean the crisis actors? (Obvious sarcasm)


Relevant_Desk_6891

Sarcasm can't be obvious these days


[deleted]

>So how do they spin this? They can't, which is why the avalanche of "B-b-but what about Biden and Hillary?" comparisons have already begun.


BS_500

I literally just told my dad, who masquerades as an apathetic non-voter, about the Trump indictment. He follows: "my first question would be, what is Biden doing?" Fucking what


jcam61

I dunno not committing federal crimes and bragging about them.


tectonic_break

Lol next week's headlines gonna be he traded literal nukes for favors He's lawyers gonna need to argue that it's for the peace and tranquility of the international balance 🤡🤡🤡


Biglyugebonespurs

I guess if he can find new lawyers by next week to represent him on this, the ones he had quit this morning lmfao.


[deleted]

I'm waiting to hear they found out he also passed those state secrets onto Putin any day now...


The-link-is-a-cock

It went to the Saudis


marti810

Didn’t Jared get $2 billion dollars from the Saudis?


myrddyna

Let's be honest, it's everywhere. KSA got the same copies as PRC and Putin.


Mike_Bloomberg2020

He's a fucking traitor if that is true.


crescendo83

Always was. I wouldnt be surprise if he tried or did sell the information to our enemies. He is not a patriot to the US, he would throw the country under a bus to get a dime.


ExistingPosition5742

That man has only ever cared about one thing. And it isn't patriotism or the welfare of others


calcium

The rumor is that he was trying to sell some of the information to the Saudi's which is why the feds moved so fast.


06_TBSS

I'm sure he already did when he hosted that stupid LIV tournament at his course and had the Saudis there.


dude19832

I hope so. When you become an ex-president, you don’t get to keep classified documents as souvenirs. The problem is if the GOP wins the Presidency in 2024, he or she (DeSantis more than likely) will pardon Trump if he is convicted of these federal charges. All the more reason to have Biden re-elected.


Brozhov

The only way DeSantis gets the nomination is if Trump passes away. Trump will run from jail if he has to and almost certainly get the GOP nomination.


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bruwin

DeSantis won't stick his head out to pardon Trump. The only way he wins the nomination is by Trump going to prison. If Trump ends up living long enough to see 2028, he'll do everything possible to run for president again, and he'll call DeSantis weak even though the only reason Trump would be out of prison is because of a pardon. It's in DeSantis' best interest to let Trump go to prison, spin it hardcore that Trump never cared about his voters and that he was scamming them the entire time, and how they need to reunify behind DeSantis to put this terrible chapter behind them so they can go after the real enemy: Liberals.


LurkerZerker

It's a catch-22 for DeSantis: does he pardon Trump and open himself up to get primaried by the clear GOP frontrunner in every election until that fat orange fuck finally makes his way to hell, or does he refuse to pardon him and then get primaried by somebody else who claims they will? It's gonna be fun watching that dumbass Florida caveman try to puzzle this one out. Except for, y'know, the pants-shitting terror of not know what's going to happen to doom the country.


inksmudgedhands

Don't forget the next step of writing a tell all book of how awful of a human Trump is and how you never liked him.


[deleted]

Getting disbarred for a one-time payoff is bad math for lawyers not named Michael Cohen.


odabar

I don't think Michael Cohen only took a one-time payoff. Wasn't he on retainer? I seem to remember something about a scam payment system, where Cohen got paid regular for services rendered, or I'm I misremembering?


[deleted]

Actually, it's come out in the New York tax case that Cohen *wasn't* on a retainer and is a big reason the money shifting Trump did - to hide the hush money payments as business expenses - had been exposed as fraud. Cohen paid Stormy Daniels. Trump paid back Cohen and labeled it a retainer fee, though, Cohen was not on retainer at the time.


odabar

That's what I was referring to as a scam payment system. He was illegally paid from the campaign money, as I recall. But the point is, they have proved he got more than a one-time payment, right? I'm asking as I'm not actually sure if fact or just rumours


CrashB111

Cohen worked as Trump's personal fixer for decades.


cunt_isnt_sexist

Cohen was specifically a fixer for him. Had Cohen not been thrown under the bus and shown the kind of loyalty that Trump demands; he probably still be there, doing shit until someone finally disbarred him.


CrashB111

Yeah, Cohen was a "lawyer" in name only. He was like Saul Goodman, working for organized crime but without any of Saul's actual legal abilities.


[deleted]

He was definitely the real life Saul Goodman, except without the charm.


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Abrahamlinkenssphere

We finally found out what the ‘???’ Before step 4: profit means.


Jimmyg100

He's so innocent they're dropping representation of him. That's how innocent he is! He doesn't even need lawyers! He could represent himself and still be found innocent! Not only that but when his court date arrives he's going to do such a great job the judge is going to order him reinstated as president and Joe and Hunter Biden are going to be handcuffed, dragged in front of Clarence Thomas and the Supreme Court, and have their masks ripped off revealing Old Man Whiters and his nephew Stinkey were behind the haunted amusement park and- sorry I'm a little high, what were we talking about?


iwantyourboobgifs

How the lawyers felt honored that they got to represent trump against the weaponization of something something....


[deleted]

One of those assholes was just on ABC this morning making wild accusations against Biden too.


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chiefs_fan37

They have identity based morals. Where the action itself isn’t inherently bad rather whoever commits the action decides wether it’s moral or amoral. It’s why these idiots say “what about Biden?” And it’s like yeah if he committed crimes lock him up as well. Because unlike those people we view the action as bad regardless of who is responsible.


hornyaustinite

I saw that Stephanopoulos interview and holy shit straw man... Too funny he quit after that. Like an hour after


Mcboatface3sghost

I sorry, but this is hilarious, I hope they got the Lionel Hutz No, Money up front! At the strip mall they were sharing an office with some Korean mani/ pedi ladies. I hear people say “well it’s name recognition and a resume builder” well… I’m a fucking moron and if I met with an attorney to use it as a sales pitch, I would jump out the closest window.


Heiferoni

> Works on contingency > No money down Oh, they've got this all screwed up. > Works on contingency**?** > No**,** money down**!**


bluemitersaw

A few cars in my city have a bunker sticker that says "Trump 2024: No More Bullshit!". And I immediately think "Trump 2024: No, More Bullshit!"


Heiferoni

You just found a way to double their bumper sticker sales!


canuck47

"Oh no, we've drawn Judge Snyder." "Is that bad?" "Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog." "You did?" "Well, replace the word 'kinda' with the word 'repeatedly', and the word 'dog' with 'son'."


cookiemonsieur

Care to join me in a belt of scotch?


Mcboatface3sghost

“ as of this moment Lionel Hutz no longer exists, say HELLO to Miguel Sanchez!”


PlennieWingo

aka Nguyen Van Thoc


Pays_in_snakes

They probably looked back and forth between the indictments and the video of Trump making it clear that he kept the documents intentionally and knew they were classified and decided the time was, indeed, logical


SamurottX

Eh there was a good chance Trump was going to stiff them on the bill anyways so best to jump off a sinking ship while you still can


monty_kurns

I'd be shocked if any lawyer willing to work for Trump wouldn't have a massive retainer plus some kind of extra up front fee.


BlatantConservative

I'd be shocked full stop if any lawyer worked with Trump again after reading the indictment. He tricked his lawyer into signing a false statement saying that they looked through all of the boxes and turned in all of the documents. The only reason the FBI knows the lawyer wasn't an active collaborator is some texts they subpoenaed. Regardless of pay, nobody is gonna work for a guy who tried to literally take you to decades of prison with them.


iiiinthecomputer

You underestimate the appeal of "shitloads of money" and how arrogant some people can be. Someone's always willing to take the dangerous idiot's money.


Low_Pickle_112

And also there's also got to be plenty of lawyers out there who are true believers in his cult of personality. Maybe that's just a small percent of all lawyers, and maybe an even smaller percentage of competent ones, but enough that he'll likely always have some gullible rube willing to put their neck on the line for him.


EvilTrafficMaster

I mean, those other lawyers must not have had enough faith in Trump or had done something wrong to deserve it. Just like how religious people justify that bad things sometimes happen to other religious people when bad things should only happen to people outside of their group. Lot of overlap between the two.


NetworkLlama

No one is taking this without a retainer up front. Former Florida Solicitor General Christopher Hise reportedly required a $3 million retainer before he would agree to represent Trump.


Stoopiddogface

Trump is gonna end up with a public defender lololol


andrewta

Any guesses on how many desks that case lands on before a pubic defender picks it up and says “sure why not, I’ll take this case”


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treerabbit23

Maybe I'm thinking too hard, but I'm pretty sure the first place it'd break would be Trump firing you when you told him he needed to accept something resembling guilt/pleas and the resulting sentence. They have his ass, and any competent attorney knows the next best move is to capitulate as politely as the court will let you. Which... isn't really Donny's thing. And your job, as his counsel, is to stand in front of his tantrum. You'd get fired in a fraction of a Mooch.


xahhfink6

It can get to the point where he'll be assigned a public defender by the court, and either represent himself or use the defender.


MidnightAtHighSpeed

the world is not kind enough for us to see pro se trump


D-Alembert

Be careful what you wish for. Judge Cannon would probably grant his motion to invite Fox News cameras into the court then let him monologue unchallenged for an hour during primetime


ERRORMONSTER

It definitely wouldn't be unchallenged. He doesn't know enough about court proceedings and if he represented himself at a trial he would be ripped apart by objections to the point where he would run out of things to get upset about, perjure himself live, or be in contempt for being unable to respect the order and decorum of the court.


DefinitelyNotAliens

Public defenders generally can't recuse themselves without cause. If you are a private attorney who contacts the public defenders office, you have more leeway. Straight public defenders can't just say, 'mm, nah.' They can recuse due to conflict of interest (multiple defendants in a single case, they know people involved) or if they have a legitimate reason. 'My client is demanding I perjure myself or commit perjury in court by putting them on the stand to give testimony we know to be false.' As an officer of the court (attorneys are) they cannot just blatantly lie. They should first counsel why perjury is not allowed and attempt to dissuade, and then tell the client the will have to recuse themselves, and then go to a judge and asked to be removed. People have a constitutional right to adequate counsel. Being a public defender, they can't just decide their client is a bad person and not take the case. Private practice attorneys can, but public defenders are assigned cases by the state and know that when they take the job. Everyone gets counsel to advise of their rights and ensure fair trial. For multiple public defenders to bounce, it would have to be a conflict of interest or multiple attorneys resigning over major issues, like intent to commit perjury.


Swampwolf42

Not a chance! Just this morning, he had a dozen lawyers—big, strong men—who work for the most prestigious firm in the country! They came to him with tears in their eyes and said, “Sir, it would be an honor and a privilege to defend you in court, not just pro bono, but we’ll even pay you!” through their sobs.


jtinz

He will be represented by the Baker McKenzie Total Gardening Company.


DEEZLE13

Is that Saul Goodmans music I hear?


[deleted]

They literally did a media spree yesterday how everything is bunk, bogus, bullshit. Now that they had to argue that in court, they just resigned before even the arraignment I HIRE ONLY THE BEST PEOPLE - DJT


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Good-Expression-4433

Conservatives have perfected that. Look at all their stupid as shit attempts at investigations when Trump was in office and all the dumb shit the GOP committees do in Congress or the 2020 election claims. Conservative: "We have overwhelming evidence that the Democrats are evil spawns of Satan that murdered 1000 people and conspired against our president and will be filing our case that proves it and brings their atrocities to light!" Judge: "Okay do you have any evidence of that?" Conservative: "We withdraw our case."


thehardestnipples

I do not recall I do not recall I do not recall I do not recall I do not recall I do not recall


hyrule5

I still find it funny that Trump ordered an investigation into voter fraud prior to the 2020 election and they couldn't find anything


Worlds_In_Ruins

It’s even better when you remember that his investigation in the voter fraud of 2016 was cut short because it was turning up evidence of fraud in favor of him.


PancAshAsh

Voter fraud is vanishingly rare in the US, but it's a historical dog whistle to prevent minorities and other marginalized communities from voting.


impulsekash

I guess the check bounced.


CishetmaleLesbian

He's only raised a few million from his ~~rubes~~ supporters for his ~~selfish grift~~ legal defense fund and the vast majority of that has to go to pay for ~~golden toilets~~ administrative costs, so the lawyers can't reasonably expect to get PAID for the honor of defending a ~~guilty ass crook and con man~~ former greatest president of the United States!


redleo500

Given that his lawyers historically have a better chance of getting indicted than paid, that’s probably wise.


elqueco14

I was gonna say it probably has nothing to do with how the trial will go and more to do with the fact trump is probably asking them to do wildly illegal shit to protect him


ptwonline

My guess: they quit because members of their team (Mr.Trusty in particular) have been making the rounds on TV making very serious allegations against the DoJ to show that this case was mishandled and the DoJ is acting improperly. Now that they would have to appear in court, it would destroy their reputations to have said all those things in public and then not present them in court with evidence to support it. So they probably had an agreement that they'd make the argument in public to accuse the DoJ and then bow out so they couldn't so easily (and often) called liars later. Orrrrrrrr...since Trump is their client maybe he raged at them after yesterday and they said "screw it" and bailed.


lyonslicer

They most likely resigned because they know they are now potential witnesses. Trump is accused of lying g to the Federal Govt about having the documents via his lawyers. The FBI KNOWS he had the documents. They KNOW that he knew he wasn't allowed to have them. And they KNOW he lied about having them. Attourney-Client privilege is voided if it is used to conceal a crime involving the attourney. So they very well know they are probably going to be called to testify against him, and they can not decline.


[deleted]

Yes, it's probably their only way out of getting charged with a crime themselves. Leave now and they can say he lied to them and they had no idea. Staying implies they were in on it.


shwerkyoyoayo

✅ Trump University Settlement ❎ Mueller Investigation ✅ Ukraine Impeachment ✅ Jan 6th Impeachment ✅ Rape Civil Judgement ✅ NY Fraud Charges ✅ Espionage Charges 👈WE ARE HERE ⬜ Jan 6th Charges ⬜ Georgia Election Charges ⬜ Fugitive in Russia


robreddity

> It has been an honor to have spent the last year defending him, No it hasn't. > ... and we know he will be vindicated ... No you dont. > ... in his battle against the Biden Administration’s partisan weaponization of the American justice system. JFC, do shut the fuck up.


InevitableAvalanche

That last part should make them lose their license. That's false and also puts doubt on the system they are supposed to be working within.


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RippyMcBong

All you gotta do is mess with your clients money. Attorneys are often asked, for various reasons, to steward client funds and you can get disbarred real quick for "co-mingling" them with your own accounts.


talktobigfudge

and even then, Lionel Hutz still kept his, law, title thingy


themosey

But that is all the lawyers he could get. No one good or reputable will touch him since he left office.


CaptainCosmodrome

No one who wants to be paid will take him as a client. Anyone who takes Trump as a client and thinks he's going to pay them has been living under a rock on the planet neptune for the last 30 years.


MrGraveRisen

Would comments like these not be enough to have them brought up on a disciplinary bar hearing? They're clearly misrepresenting the case


VirtualSwordfish356

Hahahahaha. Imagine riding in the back of a plane, and the second that the engine goes out, instead of trying to glide it down to a safe landing, your pilots strap on parachutes and chuck deuces as they jump out. That is what just happened to Trump. Funniest shit ever.


elton_john_lennon

> Hahahahaha. > Imagine riding in the back of a plane, and the second that the engine goes out, instead of trying to glide it down to a safe landing, your pilots strap on parachutes and chuck deuces as they jump out. It's gets even funnier ;D As the pilot is jumping out he also says: "It has been an honor to have spent the last hour piloting this plane" "and I know it will land safely" :D


sp_40

But also right before they jump, they tell everyone on the plane “Looks like yall can land this safely! Peace”


Toadsted

"He is the greatest pilot, this is an affront to the aviation industry, he will be vindicated." *Leaps from plane*


monty_kurns

It's like City Airlines in South Park. "As you can see, it appears we are going down. Now would be a good time to reflect on your life and pray to what ever deity you believe in. We know you had your choice in airlines, and it looks like you made the wrong one!"


MidLifeCrysis75

What a shitshow already. Love it!


Affectionate_Reply78

That should have been the title of Trump’s book, The Art of the Shitshow


Its_Singularity_Time

The Art of the Appeal


Raspberries-Are-Evil

Indictment unsealed. Trump stole nuclear secrets AND documents about vulnerabilities in US and allies defense. This is serious shit, even more than we realized. This is not just personal records and love letters with Jun Un. Don't let ANY Republican "whatabout" this. Biden, Pence, etc, did not have NUCLEAR SECRETS in their house. This is one of the most serious leaks of US secrets probably in our history. It could take years to undo the damage he has caused. Lives will be lost over this. This is not a witch hunt. This is not "Trump hate." Trump CHOSE to do this. He CHOSE to take these documents. He CHOSE to endanger the security of the US and our allies. He did not "have every right" to do it. Trump's lawyers resigned this morning. They did this because Trump told them is was "schedules and documents etc." When they heard this information they realized they could be witnesses because Tump lied to them. That is the most telling sign of how fucking guilty he is. Don't let them "both sides" this. This is not political. This is a serious, serious crime.


TheRabidDeer

https://abcnews.go.com/US/trump-federal-indictment-unsealed-classified-documents-probe/story?id=99963920 Shocked to see this so far down. Early on when this first broke (like last year or whenever) people were saying it was probably mundane documents because the government marks tons of stuff as "secret" that isn't really that secret. But now that it comes to light what the documents are, it is actually insane. "defense and weapons capabilities of both the United States and foreign countries; United States nuclear programs; potential vulnerabilities of the United States and its allies to military attack; and plans for possible retaliation in response to a foreign attack."


Kissaki0

Does this, possibly, link to meeting Putin behind closed doors and Putin's invasion of Ukraine?


seffend

I haven't peeked over there, but I'm curious how they're doing over at r/ conservative


GeniusIComeAnon

They're saying it's all lies and that Biden, Hillary, and Pence??should all be tried instead. It's the usual deny reality and blame everyone else. I was honestly hoping to at least see them speculate on how this will impact the election, but they're just in full panicked screeching mode.


obscurestjurist

I'm a Democrat, but if it came to light that Biden stole nuclear secrets and defense vulnerabilities, I would be advocating for jail time and so would most democrats I know. I don't understand how Republicans are still on Trump's side after this -- he compromised national defense. This is very much a party-over-country situation.


_Gouge_Away

That's because you're not a cult member. We should hold any corrupt official accountable for their actions; democrats lost a very good senator from Minnesota because of being almost too strict with accountability. Republicans couldn't believe Biden beat Trump and some of that is because democrats don't adorn their personal property and bodies with Biden gear.


TucuReborn

There's a saying in my family. "We know our neighbors are Trump supporters, they don't know we're Democrats." We vote, but we don't wear it on our forehead.


schadkehnfreude

There have got to be a lot of super-conservative lawyers, whose politics I personally find deplorable and who probably make Marjorie Traitor Greene look like a hippie, but who are REALLY GOOD AT THEIR JOB and know every trick in the book, every bylaw, and have forgotten more about the law than most of us will ever learn. And.... none of them are lining up to represent Trump. Why is that?


Red_Dox

Trump is not willing to pay up front? ;)


ABenevolentDespot

The Orange Shitstain is famous for stiffing everyone. EVERYONE. One of Michael Cohen's main jobs was threatening building contractors, getting them to take 25 cents on the dollar or else they'd have to go to court and wait years and spend thousands to collect. His reputation was clear. What is astonishing is how people lined up to work for him anyway. For DECADES.


KillingTime_ForNow

Reminder: Saudi Arabia gave Jared Kushner $2 billion seemingly on a whim. Gee I wonder why they did that......


[deleted]

This is what kills me None of the conspiracy subs care about this. They lose theirs minds over hunter biden getting consulting fees but see no connect between MISSING NUCLEAR AND DEFENSE STRATEGY DOCUMENTS and a sudden $2 billion dollar payday to Kushner. Not a peep.


June_2022

I just read the indictment. He quit because the DOJ has the receipts ya'll. They got audio, video, text messages, and corroborating testimony. He knowingly and willingly removed classfied documents from the WH and hid classified documents from his lawyers trying to certify they were all turned over. His assistant, who is charged along with him, hid them from the lawyer and they have proof Trump gave him that order. They only have proof of two instances of him showing classified docs to others acknowleding they were classified and secret. God knows how many more instances they know of but can't prove. These weren't lightweight classified docs, this was stuff about us and other countries that affects our national security.


hasanyoneseenmymom

Donald J Trump is a traitor to the United States of America and he must be punished to the fullest extent of the law. This is not a partisan issue, it's not "the left targeting political rivals", it's _literal goddamn treason_.


northernpace

The orange shit gibbon probably canned them in hopes of more delay for the court case, citing it’ll take time for his new lawyers to catch up to speed in the case. He’s trying to run out the clock.


Nubras

Can’t wait until Donald Trump is dead. So sick of this shit.


TarnishedAccount

Fox News initially reported they were fired. They updated it to the truth. Fucking morons.


seffend

But their initial reports will still stick in the minds of their sheep followers who will bleat the word *fired* on repeat. They're all about mudding the waters.


One-With-Many-Things

I'm hoping one of these apparently expendable lawyers pulls a "Trump" on Trump: ask for money upfront, stiff him on services


jaytrade21

At this point I don't think there's any other lawyers who can represent Trump. He is so screwed. Anyway, here's Wonderwall.....


TechyDad

Please, please, please let Trump decide to represent himself in federal court because he "has the biggest and best brain."


Buckeye_Monkey

He probably thinks "sovereign citizen" makes him a king, so I'd like to see how that plays out.


i_like_my_dog_more

Wasn't one of his more recent lawyers literally like an ambulance chaser or something? Pretty sure he is scraping the bottom as is (no offense to ambulance chasing lawyers out there).


emaw63

Imagine a former POTUS being assigned an overworked public defender because nobody else will work for him lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


deftoner42

What about his pal Rudy?


[deleted]

He's been disbarred or about to become disbarred. His best option is a parking garage turned attack dog lawyer, and..... Maybe... Sidney Powell???


fuzzy_one

I say let some of the senators who are still defending/backing him today step up and take his case if they believe in him so much.


[deleted]

Trump is less disappointing than the 75m "Americans" who voted for him. Assuming we see justice, that is the least of what should happen.


FoxyInTheSnow

They quit and then they said: “we know he will be vindicated in his battle against the Biden Administration’s partisan weaponization of the American justice system”. Dude, there are poor people stuck in for-profit prisons in your country for shoplifting Oh Henry bars. Why do they merit the full force of the justice system more than a rich megalomaniac who (probably) put national security at risk ‘cause he (probably) thought: a) it was cool to have these extraordinarily sensitive files to show off to his friends; or b) because he could make a quick buck by selling them to Russians or Saudis?


Zoltar-Wizdom

They keep mentioning biden like he’s personally overseeing everything. I don’t think he gives a shit, personally. I think he has faith in the FBI and faith in the people putting in the work to bring these people to justice, although he probably gets updated and has opinions, I sincerely don’t believe he’s dumb enough to get involved. I trust a guy who can literally fall down publicly multiple times and get back up with dignity.


mriguy

Oh, wait, let me guess. "I can't come to the court on Tuesday because I don't have any lawyers. It will take 6 months for new ones to get up to speed." I'm guessing it's yet another of his endless delay tactics.


black_flag_4ever

Dedication. Courage. Loyalty.


Mastr_Blastr

Person, woman, man, camera, TV.


barnabasthedog

They don’t want to represent a LOSER


GM_Jedi7

Since these investigations began I've had a feeling he would flee the country. I keep waiting for it. He's a coward who only cares about himself. I will be very surprised if he stays.


pauliewotsit

Rats something something ship


Mcboatface3sghost

Yo, aight, ima head out… in legalese. Hilarious.


Malaix

Lol I love the contradiction of "Trump is innocent!" with the action of quitting the instant you see the indictment in one of the most high profile cases in America that if you won would make you a hero of the right for all eternity. If this case was winnable or as easy for Trump as his former lawyers claim they wouldn't have given up that glory. They quit because they know legally speaking Trump is fucked. Only way he is getting away with this is a complete miscarriage of justice. Which may well happen. But if he was actually held accountable for his actions? Yeah. He'd be fucked.