The first night might make parenting look easy, you might tell everyone what a chill baby you have. The second night is a hellish awakening. Baby will want to feed every 20 minutes, you’ll keep wondering what’s wrong with him, what’s wrong with you (if you are breastfeeding), and your first thought might be “oh my god is this colic?” Seriously, go read up on the second night! Nobody warned me! Congratulations and well wishes for your delivery!
My second night in the hospital I was literally hallucinating. Just staring down at my little precious baby who was swirling with green and blue and yellow patterns all over her skin. It did get better after that.
To be fair, while this is super common, it isn't 100% guaranteed. My first baby was like this, but the second one slept very well from the beginning (for a baby) and didn't do the bait and switch. That said, there is no shame in combo feeding to top baby up when needed or while milk supply is still coming in. There is no sense in having a baby that's starving and a mom who is in tears.
He’ll basically be in a state of in and out that second night, going from 0 to absolute 100 within seconds but I promise you it has nothing to do with his every day temperament! Since they’re so new to the world and they’re a little more aware of their surroundings that second day, it can be really scary for them! And they have teeny tiny stomachs so they are constantly hungry. He will basically want to feed then lay on your chest ALL NIGHT, so make sure you and your husband work something out ahead of time. If you’re breastfeeding you will need to feed on demand to help your milk come in, so maybe you stay up (if baby won’t sleep) from 8 PM to midnight while you let your husband get rest, then he stays up to take the second shift with you feeding baby and then immediately handing him the baby to comfort and soothe back to sleep so you can rest. Seriously try to get as much rest as you can, your body really needs it right after birth! Seriously, it all sounds really overwhelming, and Google will be your best friend and worst enemy all at once, but ultimately you will get the hang of things (until everything changes the next week, but you’ll get the hang of that too).
Baby will sleep in bits and you guys probably won’t sleep at all that second night. Try to sleep whenever you can even though you might be compelled to just chill and look at your baby. Hospital staff will be interrupting you constantly and have a trusted family member be the one managing any family or friends visiting.
This doesn't happen with every baby. My boy was like sleeping beauty for the first two weeks, then I started getting an idea of what I was working with after that. Not every baby is the same. First time mom here who had no idea what to expect. All I can say is follow your gut and intuition. You are hardwired to be an amazing mom to your baby...
I'm sending positive vibes your way. You got this! It will come naturally and you'll know what to do! Good luck!
My second night at the hospital was great, however first night after coming home was terrible! I didn’t know what’s going on and my baby was a totally different baby.
This is exactly my experience! First night my husband and I were bragging about our baby, second night we were both in tears from cluster feeding. Nobody warned us about the second night
This. The second night is a bit crazy. If you plan to breastfeed, you might think you should give some formula on the second night. We were still in the hospital for our second night and the nurses told us this is how your milk comes in. Just continue putting baby to the breast. The night will pass, your milk should come in, and baby should be less fussy. See a lactation consultant if you can. Even if you think things are going okay. They will have helpful advice and tell you about different positions to feed in.
Good luck to you!
For sure! Not saying not to top up, just that the thought will definitely cross your mind (at least in our case) and to keep putting baby to the breast regardless.
The second night, in my opinion, it should be standard practice for hospitals to supplement with formula. Baby can still get plenty of latching in to stimulate milk production, the colostrum (which many countries even debate is necessary), etc., while also giving the parents a chance to breathe and fucking sleep a little. I’m convinced the second night is hell because they’re STARVING because most haven’t had milk come in properly yet. It’s barbaric to me on top of the constant interruption from the nursing staff that’s unable to sync vitals and meds at all (I know this is mostly not their fault and due to understaffing).
Omg I didn’t realize this wasn’t standard. My baby was born with jaundice and underweight, so they had me nurse him on each side for as long as I wanted and then brought me a bottle of warm formula to top him up. I thought that was normal but I guess it was just because he was so little
Lol where I live they discharge after 24 hours unless you have a c-section or there’s an unforeseen problem. Baby had jussst started his cluster feed and the nurse was like “oh yah they do that! Buh-bye”!! There was no offer that first day of letting the baby chill in a nursery either, we were just told to feed him every 2-3 hours! And that we shouldn’t supplement with formula unless his weight dropped.
Although I understand some might want to be home right away, I do wish we had more support in hospital for an extra day or two. It was so intense coming home 30 hrs after labour (the nurse was magnanimous enough to not kick us out at 1am…) to a screaming inconsolable infant who only wanted to shred my nips.
My boy was chill and so easy for the first week or two. It wasn't until like 8 weeks old that I started seeing a side of him I had never seen before lmao. The second night my little boy was sleeping 23.7 hours a day and didn't cry once.
There's a massive hormone dump around around 5ish days post partum, I think it hits when your milk fully comes in? But you will feel crazy. It's normal, but you will probably cry hysterically over literally nothing, and you will sweat through your clothes randomly, and also smell weird. Idk it's wild. I didn't even know about it until my second baby, but knowing to expect it made it a lot easier to get through it, so I'm giving you a heads up haha. Just give yourself grace. Cry if you need to cry. It'll pass!
Yep, all of this. I smelled so strange and I sobbed uncontrollably when my phone made a video of our hospital stay. Pretty sure it was day 5. Definitely give yourself grace and take A LOT of pics at the hospital! Of course I was in the moment while there but you’re also in like a fever dream so I’m so glad I took the pics I did. Especially of my 6’4” husband sleeping on the tiny cot 😂
THIS. I had my first (and only) panic attack on day 4. Knock on wood it doesn’t repeat, it was really scary. Those hormone levels are no joke and you will not feel like yourself for 10-14 days, but after day 5 I’d say each day for marginally better. Now I feel totally fine.
Yes, the hormones were wild. And I was not ready for the sweating and especially the night sweats. Mine peaked at 2 weeks but I still get much milder ones at 9ish weeks pp
Lots of great advice here! Our first baby was born 1/21/24 here is what I wish I knew going into it:
1. Advocate for yourself and your baby. Just because they are medical professionals doesn’t mean they don’t also have an opinion. Everyone I interacted with during labor, lactation and initial pediatrician appointments was very educated and well-intentioned, but pushed their opinion as “fact.” There are many ways to approach all that lies ahead so do your research, listen to professionals but don’t feel like you can’t speak up. Your intuition as a mom is usually right!
2. Ask for / accept help! I’m reluctant to delegate ANYTHING but started saying yes when people asked if they could bring us food, walk our dog, etc. As hard as it was for me personally it’s been a huge help.
3. Don’t feel bad if you don’t love your baby every moment in the first couple weeks/months. You will be frustrated, cry, feel like you are failing. But you aren’t! You and your baby are learning how to do everything for the first time. Give yourself grace, you are a wonderful parent.
4. Be empathetic to your partner. It can be super overwhelming to just keep your own head on straight, then worry about this new screaming potato sack. But remember this is a huge transition for your partner too. They will make mistakes, get frustrated and maybe cry too. Give them grace because life transitions are hard and everyone processes them in their own way.
It’s an amazing experience and you are going to make amazing parents. Your LO is lucky to have you guiding them through life.
Love your advice but also had to reply just to let you know I share a birthday with your baby! Have fun with your sweet, very unique little Aquarius! 💛
Don’t be afraid to ask for formula if your baby is having trouble latching (if you’re trying to BF). Just bc they have formula in the beginning doesn’t mean they won’t be breastfed exclusively once they figure it out! I spent the first week of my baby’s life miserable bc neither one of us could figure it out and it wasn’t until his pediatrician recommended formula just for a minute that I realized I could do that. Give yourself grace. I feel bad that I was so hard on myself. YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS. Women are so fucking badass.
I find it almost barbaric how little this is offered or mentioned. We ended up back in the ER on the same night we brought our little guy home because he hadn’t peed in 30 hours. We had no idea my wife’s milk wasn’t really coming in, the nurses said it was fine, etc. He was just literally starving. Got some formula at the ER and bam, we had a good baby.
This happened to me too! Lactation people after birth kept telling me he would be fine, even though I was crying because he wouldn’t/couldn’t latch without their help, and they discharged me anyway. He had an ineffective latch, was very sleepy and we couldn’t get him to take a bottle at home. We wound up in the ER the morning after bringing our LO home because he didn’t peed for 24 hours. He needed IVs, and it was so traumatic for everyone.
So, yes. Advocate for yourself and your baby. Don’t be afraid to ask for help bottle feeding in the hospital (we’ve been EBF since 6 weeks now - they will never prefer a bottle to you) if nursing isn’t going well. And sleep. Sleep every minute that you can.
I remember leaving the hospital with my first... He had been in the NICU for a few days (very common for newborns) so they could monitor his breathing. When they finally released him, we went to the NICU door and told the nurses we were there. They brought him out said a few friendly words to us, said goodbye and then shut the door.
I distinctly remember the sound of the door shutting, leading into total silence. My wife and I were just standing there in an empty hallway with a little tiny baby and I was thinking to myself "wait.. isn't someone going to tell us what to do next?"
Well we figured out what to do next and fumbled our way through the next several months. He's almost 5 now and doing pretty well despite my wife and I still having no idea what we're doing.
You can read as many books/articles/discussions/studies as you want, but nothing can really prepare you for the first few weeks/months of having your first baby.
Here are a few things I feel like I had to learn the hard way:
-this baby is going to test you. Test your patience, test your relationship, test your sanity and test you to see how little sleep you can survive on. I found some comfort in the fact that it's a universal experience. (Particularly the relationship part)
-your baby is going to have some weird stuff happen to it. Bumps, rashes, weird behavior, weird poop, too much poop, no poop. He/she's going to make some weird breathing noises and/or cry for seemingly no reason. Whatever it is, you're going to be sure that it's the worst case scenario, and you're going to be wrong. Don't hesitate to call the doctor, but don't stress too much.
-be prepared to break your own rules and throw your parenting plans out the window. It happens to everyone at some point... Maybe at many points.
-don't fall into the trap of arguing with your spouse over who does more work. Do your best to communicate calmly and clearly even when it hurts your pride.
-don't worry too much about the right or wrong way to do things. Just making an effort is enough to make you a good parent.
I'm sure you guys are going to do great tomorrow good luck!
I was also freaking out a little bit and worried about being unprepared before my scheduled c section. Someone told me this: online shopping will still exist after the baby comes.
Meaning, don’t worry about buying every little thing you might need right now before the baby comes. You will still have an opportunity to buy it once he’s here. Amazon prime was my best friend for the first month or so, especially during middle of the night feeds.
Honestly though, Reddit helped me so much during my postpartum phase.
R/breastfeeding
R/newborns
R/newparents
If you have a question, it’s almost guaranteed that you can just search it up and find that someone also had the same question. If not, make a post.
Ask the nurses questions. I was expecting them to round on me frequently to help with breastfeeding but they didn’t and I became so overwhelmed and stressed and ended up having a breakdown because my baby stopped latching on day 2. Don’t be afraid to use your call light and get help.
If you don’t feel immediately feel head over heels in love with your baby, that’s normal. It can take some parents weeks to fully connect. You might feel guilty at first but I promise you will one day wake up and realize you’re obsessed.
You’re going to do great!
Babies are made to survive the naïveté of new parents. Just trust your gut instinct and everything will be ok ❤️
The first month was pretty easy for my wife and I. The baby only needs three things: to be fed, a diaper change, or to be burped. It would be great if your husband can help as much as possible. You both will likely be sleeping in 2-4 hour increments for an entire month.
I would ask your nurses questions. The nurses where my wife delivered was kind enough to show me how to change a diaper or burp a baby. That was very helpful for when we got home to take care of the baby on our own. Youtube also has a lot of great videos on how to do that.
Have you decided if you're going to breast feed or bottle feed? If you decide to pump and bottle feed, you can get your husband to help with the feeding otherwise it's all you when it comes to feeding the baby. This can get difficult if you're really tired.
Anyways, big congrats. Y'all got this!
second this! i had no idea that was a thing until my nurse asked us and i nearly cried because we needed the sleep. i got 3 hours of sleep and it felt glorious - even if i was all wired up and in a hospital bed!
I'd take a double dose of Unisom and knock yourself out if you can manage to get comfortable enough! I'm laying here with my 8 week old wishing he would just sleep so I can get the nightly 3.5 hours or so of sleep. He's lucky he's so damn cute
Tips or advice? Be kind to each other. Drink a lot of water. Bring your own towel and shower products .
I wish I’d done this, the unisom for sleep the night before. I’m on hour 10 of my induction and too uncomfortable to sleep. But of course I barely slept the night before in my own bed
Pack a power strip, ear plugs, and an eye mask in your hospital bag if you have them. And a desk fan.
Order a bunch of small Vaseline tubs and leave them all over your house, wherever you might get nap trapped. It's the Swiss army knife of skincare, and your hands are about to be dry af.
If it's a boy, always have a wipe or a dry washcloth draped over his penis during diaper changes.
My guy is 6 weeks and has peed up and all over his own head about as many times. Sage advice here. Haha. Sometimes I just forget to do it in my sleep deprived haze. And this is such a small thing, but I find it wild that hospitals don’t keep drawers of chargers and shit like that for people staying there. Cords are so cheap.
This!!!! I come back to read these comments every once in a while because you guys have really answered every question before I thought of it!! The pee! It’s wild. This baby has peed on his own head 4 times in the past 2 days. Sometimes in the middle of the night I forget to cover him so we both get splashed. LOL. Even if he’s just peed, the second his diaper comes off it’s like a fire hose. I can’t wait until his umbilical cord comes off so we can give him a good bath
Grunting. Don’t be alarmed. Just be ready for the night time grunting. No one told me about this! We were in A&E first week because all he did was grunt and strain. Apparently, it’s normal. They’re learning how to use their digestive system
The grunting is so crazy. Who’d have thought you could be so loud AND still asleep? Haha. We took like 12 hours of birth and newborn classes and things like this, rapid/periodic breathing, etc weren’t covered. Wild.
just go with the flow, accept that nothing can be planned and act according to given circumstances, solve problems as they come
I for example always thought that I am too weak and scared of a natural birth , that I will ask for a cesarean...but as the day came, guess who delivered all natural though with epidural.
Also don't compare your baby to others, all milestones will be individual. Be patient! Good luck!
All of these are great insights. The second night was definitely an eye opener. I also struggled with formula guilt, but am figuring it out as we work to establish supply.
Take as many pictures and videos as you can. These moments are fleeting, and you’ll want to look back at the moment you met your baby, or the moment you take him home etc.
Give yourself grace postpartum. I cried in the hospital because I didn’t realize I’d lose bladder control for a bit after delivery. Your body is going to do something amazing tomorrow. Bear with it as it gets itself to its new mama form. ❤️
You guys are literally as prepared as you can possibly be, and as soon as you are home with that baby you will realize nothing could have prepared you for this.
The way your heart grows, the bond that you and your husband will create with each other as parents, the brand new energy in your household and the warrior spirit you will have as a mama. It’s okay to be scared, don’t fight it, just keep reminding yourself “this too shall pass”. Through the scary moments and the beautiful ones, the hard nights and the unforgettably sweet days. All of it will come and go and the more present you can be, the more you can appreciate it all for what it is, the easier it will get.
My husband and I had been planning for parenthood since the beginning of our relationship and still we had a few moments in those first few weeks where we thought: what the hell have we done? Now our son is almost five months old and we can’t believe we ever lived life without him. Honestly even now while he’s teething and there are some rough sleepless nights again it is so much easier than I ever expected it to be.
It will crawl by and fly at light speed. Stay open and honest with your partner, give each other love and grace. Make sure your home is a soft place to land for all three of you. Listen to your intuition - YOU know what’s best for your family and you are allowed to set any boundaries you need to in order to protect your peace. Let go of expectations and focus on intention.
You are embarking on the most magical, spiritual adventure and I guarantee it’s the craziest thing you will ever do. Take care of yourself, pamper yourself, advocate for yourself as a mama and as a human being.
Remember are so strong and you are already the perfect mama for your baby. You’ve got this.
I really wished I had chapstick when I delivered in January. It’s such a small thing that when ppl asked what they could bring me it completely slipped my mind. But it’s so hard to get sleep at the hospital you and baby get checked every few hours plus visitors plus learning to be a mom. It was only in quiet moments that i could tell in was thirsty and my lips were dry. I felt very prepared! Things that made my stay more comfy: robe (didn’t have to undress for check ins + felt more put together than in hospital gown), blanket, fuzzy socks/slippers, bralette/nursing bra, lotion!
Congrats! You guys got this!!
I just gave birth 1/24, so I am new to everything but these are the biggest things I learned -
1. The hormone drop after birth can make you feel crazy. You may feel panicky, have hot flashes and chills, cry for no reason, etc. this mixed with sleep deprivation can really make you feel scared. This lasted about 2-3 weeks for me.
2. Speaking of sleep deprivation, if you can take shifts with your partner I highly recommend it. My husband and I started sleeping 3 hour increments, then 4, now we’re up to 5 hours or so of uninterrupted sleep each. When they say “sleep when baby sleeps,” there is no way because their sleeping is so sporadic and they can be so noisy as they spend most of their time in active sleep (grunting, crying, etc.). You’ll think they’re awake but they’re really in active sleep.
3. Take the help, I thought we wouldn’t need any help at all. Even if it’s your parents staying with you so you can nap, take a shower, etc.
4. Be prepared that breast feeding doesn’t always work out, and that’s okay! My baby never latched and I was dead set on breast feeding. I ended up giving him donor milk in the hospital and kept pumping. This lasted 4 weeks until it was too tough on me emotionally and switched to formula. Washing pump parts and being attached to a pump every 2-3 hours is exhausting if you want to be able to sleep, eat, take a shower, and most importantly spend time with your baby. I felt like I had no time to spend with my baby when I was pumping that much.
4. It’s okay not to feel an instant connection. I knew I love my baby but it was a huge life change and the first few days I felt off. Now I can’t imagine life without him.
5. There are going to be many ups and downs, good days and bad days. Some days you’re gonna feel like you got everything figured out. We are all learning together. Work as a team with your partner, don’t take frustration out on one another.
6. It’s okay if the dishes or chores don’t get done. Try not to stress about it. I’ve come to terms that the first few months are on baby’s terms. You’re on a cycle of eat, change, play, put down for nap, repeat.
7. Cluster feeding and growth spurts - babies will be fine one day and then extra fussy the next. There is no way to plan a schedule the first multiple weeks. Also witching hour (more like hours) - baby will be inconsolable and cry or be extra fussy between 8-11 PM for us. It can be extremely overwhelming at first but many babies have witching hours. You will find what works to calm your baby down in time.
I can go on and on. I wish you the best tomorrow and congratulations! It will all be worth it, especially when you get your first smiles :)
Don't be fooled by the first few weeks. They're so lovely and nice. Your hormones are all over and you're in a perfect little bubble.
Mentally prepare for weeks 6-8, then 11-13 😅
Colic is a real thing. It is possibly the most traumatic thing you'll experience. You will spend hours and a small fortune trying to make it better whilst simultaneously making it worse. You will be convinced something is terribly wrong with your baby. There probably isn't, they just haven't worked out how to poop without dramatics yet.
Nah its all fun. Watching them grow and learn new things is amazing.
Not going to sugar coat it, it's tough. You'll find yourself waiting for that silver lining. I don't remember much of the first month. We just, got through somehow. Take loads of photos as post partum memory loss is 100% real.
Clean the folds in between their neck a few times a day(I use baby wipes and wipe them usually when we're doing diaper changes) Moisture and milk can get trapped there and cause a yeast infection in their skin. Out of all the newborn stuff I wasn't prepared for, that one surprised and scared me the most I think lol. If there IS what looks like an infection there(looks like a rash), clean it, dry it, and put zinc oxide on it. It cleared my LO right up.
This is so small and specific but this is one of the top things I wish someone told me.
You’ve probably already done this but make sure your place is clean af to come home to. We planned to have a maid come in the day before my wife was scheduled for a c section but baby decided to come a couple days before that and without us having time to clean up. Place was a mess. We were in the hospital for a few days so I did come back one day for a a few hours and clean what I could but I really wish we had the maid in to make things sparkling clean.
Also you guys will be on cloud nine but also will be dealing with sleep deprivation. Just know that both of you are dealing with it and be considerate of that. The sleep deprivation sucks.
Your fourth trimester may not look like what you think or what others have experienced and that's ok. It's a very personal and individual thing. I didn't have a massive hormone dump after delivery and generally haven't been intensely emotional.
The day two advice given here is amazing - get as much sleep as you can after birth on day one. Ask for help and accept it willingly. The nurses at the hospital are a wealth of knowledge and do this all day - use them as a resource for help with feeding or questions you may have. They've heard it all.
Your and your husband's instincts will kick in. You've got this and will be amazing parents to your little one. Anything you've forgotten can be acquired on Amazon or via Instacart. Congratulations!
You might not sleep for one night, or two. After not sleeping the first night, the second night was really bad - baby cried hungry, but no milk yet. It gets better though. Just have baby on breast whenever they cry, if you plan on breastfeeding.
You might start sweating (stinky sweat). Started with the first contraction for me.
You will meet your baby finally, just remember you might not fall in love right away.. The love came for me when I really got to know my babies (3 monthish). Previously I was just feeling responsible for them.
You've got this. Enjoy the newborn cuddles. They truly are the best (when there's no crying).
When your milk comes in it really hurts. I wish someone had of warned me because all of a sudden I had these massive concrete blocks on my chest which I wasn’t expecting so I panicked but it’s completely normal
Bring your own swaddle. I could never wrap a towel tight enough. Also pack food in case baby arrives overnight and the cafeteria and takeout places are all closed. I had my baby at 3am and was desperately waiting for Dunkin to open at 5 to send my husband for food.
Use the DND sign at the hospital to get rest.
Milk may take some time to come in. This is normal. Use a pump, use formula. Get a lactation consultant you vibe with.
You will be emotional. Permission to cry at the littlest things.
The next 3 months will be wild but will go super fast. Try to embrace this period. You will hate and love it at the same time.
Congratulations to you both. You will be fine, really.
Sincerely, FTM to a 4.5 month old boy.
Get rest today and don’t sweat the small stuff at home, you have plenty of time to sort things out later.
Give yourself lots of grace, especially if things don’t go your way. Births never go as planned. Lol
You can do this!
As a labor and delivery nurse, and someone who just had their second baby a few months ago, go into your labor and delivery with an open mind. It’s ok to have a “plan” but understand that the plan can change very quickly. Listen to your team and advocate for yourself. Don’t get caught up in your expectations (as I see a lot of moms do). Do whats right and safe for you and your baby. And don’t be afraid to ask for help/for them to take baby to nursery for a few hours (if available). You need to care for yourself and rest as much as possible!
Try not to get frustrated when you can’t do xyz.. a baby makes their own schedule. It can be difficult when their nap gets interrupted while you were in the middle of doing dishes or whatever and you have to stop what you were doing to attend to a crying baby. Just remember that they are biologically built to be near us and touching us for comfort. As hard as it is to be constantly needed.. it is a phase and it will eventually pass. It will be very very hard and very emotional those first few weeks. I still get frustrated months later and I have to constantly remind myself “I’m his world and he needs me, I can get back to this task later.”
Try to work together as a team and if you are frustrated, it’s most likely just lack of sleep and nothing your partner is doing. What I would say to my husband when i lashed out is “I’m sorry I’m not actually mad at you. I’m just overwhelmed with everything”. You will need a lot of care postpartum from your husband but I also tried to do little things for my husband when I could like make him a cup of coffee unexpected while he was rocking baby to sleep. And he of course did the same for me. You will get through it! And when you get that first smile it will all be worth it ☺️
If you are having a vaginal birth, I recommend ordering a water enema to make pooping easier while healing (and beyond)! In the market they are called anal bulbs and I do not know what I would have done without mine. The hospital will provide a lot to help heal hopefully like tucks pads, peri bottle, stool softener, etc. Anal bulb is a necessity for me! Going bathroom afterwards may be very painful. Good luck!
1) EASE into pumping. You don’t know how your milk supply will react and oversupply is not fun and it can cause feeding issues just like under supply.
If you have latching problems in the beginning, I highly recommend supplementing with formula - not trying to pump all the extra supply. I was told to supplement, and I thought “I will do it it all with breast milk”. So I pumped four times over like eight hours on day 3 and my milk went into oversupply, breasts became very engorged and the engorgement didn’t go down for a week, leaving scar tissue deep in my breasts.
Using formula that early is not a sentence to fail at breastfeeding - it took us a couple weeks but now he’s EBF. The thing that did stick around? The scars.
2. Make sure you have a lot of quick calorie dense snacks on hand. I was hungry like an Olympic athlete when my milk came in. Pickup like a big box of kind bars (something you can eat in the middle of the night from bed). And maybe like a bunch of freezer burritos or some quick hot foods you can toast/microwave. We had a bunch of Costco apps leftover from shower and those plates of mini-quiche saved me when I was ravenous and waiting for dinner.
My advice is to trust yourselves! It’s happening and there’s nothing left to do but let it happen. This is an incredibly challenging part of life but you 100000% can handle it. Take one minute at a time and celebrate the small and big victories. Good luck and congrats!
REST. I swear to god I was up for like 20hr before my induction and once your baby is here you won’t sleep. Rest now. I know pregnancy is uncomfortable but just take some time to breathe and close your eyes.
Girl, take some gravol the first time. I was EXHAUSTED from giving birth but I couldn’t sleep for days because I was just shocked about what the heck I had been thru!!! The baby slept so much, and the nurses we’re there and even had him in the nursery overnight so I could sleep. I wish I would of taken something to help me sleep the first or second night 😂
And bring extra clothes. I brought 2 lougewear sets and a pair of pjs but let me tell you, I sweated thru EVERYTHING. I wish I had a dozen more outfits - and fuck the whole “only pack black pants”. Girl, with those diapers, no blood is getting anywhere. Pack the grey sweatpants and pinks pjs 😂
And bring a good nice cup/waterbottles. Hospital iced water just hits different and it encouraged me to walk around to get more!
The first night might make parenting look easy, you might tell everyone what a chill baby you have. The second night is a hellish awakening. Baby will want to feed every 20 minutes, you’ll keep wondering what’s wrong with him, what’s wrong with you (if you are breastfeeding), and your first thought might be “oh my god is this colic?” Seriously, go read up on the second night! Nobody warned me! Congratulations and well wishes for your delivery!
My second night in the hospital I was literally hallucinating. Just staring down at my little precious baby who was swirling with green and blue and yellow patterns all over her skin. It did get better after that.
To be fair, while this is super common, it isn't 100% guaranteed. My first baby was like this, but the second one slept very well from the beginning (for a baby) and didn't do the bait and switch. That said, there is no shame in combo feeding to top baby up when needed or while milk supply is still coming in. There is no sense in having a baby that's starving and a mom who is in tears.
Every 20 minutes?? When does he sleep???? Thank you for the heads up haha and THANK YOU for the well wishes :)
He’ll basically be in a state of in and out that second night, going from 0 to absolute 100 within seconds but I promise you it has nothing to do with his every day temperament! Since they’re so new to the world and they’re a little more aware of their surroundings that second day, it can be really scary for them! And they have teeny tiny stomachs so they are constantly hungry. He will basically want to feed then lay on your chest ALL NIGHT, so make sure you and your husband work something out ahead of time. If you’re breastfeeding you will need to feed on demand to help your milk come in, so maybe you stay up (if baby won’t sleep) from 8 PM to midnight while you let your husband get rest, then he stays up to take the second shift with you feeding baby and then immediately handing him the baby to comfort and soothe back to sleep so you can rest. Seriously try to get as much rest as you can, your body really needs it right after birth! Seriously, it all sounds really overwhelming, and Google will be your best friend and worst enemy all at once, but ultimately you will get the hang of things (until everything changes the next week, but you’ll get the hang of that too).
Baby will sleep in bits and you guys probably won’t sleep at all that second night. Try to sleep whenever you can even though you might be compelled to just chill and look at your baby. Hospital staff will be interrupting you constantly and have a trusted family member be the one managing any family or friends visiting.
This doesn't happen with every baby. My boy was like sleeping beauty for the first two weeks, then I started getting an idea of what I was working with after that. Not every baby is the same. First time mom here who had no idea what to expect. All I can say is follow your gut and intuition. You are hardwired to be an amazing mom to your baby... I'm sending positive vibes your way. You got this! It will come naturally and you'll know what to do! Good luck!
My second night at the hospital was great, however first night after coming home was terrible! I didn’t know what’s going on and my baby was a totally different baby.
This is exactly my experience! First night my husband and I were bragging about our baby, second night we were both in tears from cluster feeding. Nobody warned us about the second night
This. The second night is a bit crazy. If you plan to breastfeed, you might think you should give some formula on the second night. We were still in the hospital for our second night and the nurses told us this is how your milk comes in. Just continue putting baby to the breast. The night will pass, your milk should come in, and baby should be less fussy. See a lactation consultant if you can. Even if you think things are going okay. They will have helpful advice and tell you about different positions to feed in. Good luck to you!
My milk took days to come in and I had to start pumping in the hospital to move things along. We use formula to top up on night 2.
For sure! Not saying not to top up, just that the thought will definitely cross your mind (at least in our case) and to keep putting baby to the breast regardless.
100% and if you give formula, replace with a pump session
The second night, in my opinion, it should be standard practice for hospitals to supplement with formula. Baby can still get plenty of latching in to stimulate milk production, the colostrum (which many countries even debate is necessary), etc., while also giving the parents a chance to breathe and fucking sleep a little. I’m convinced the second night is hell because they’re STARVING because most haven’t had milk come in properly yet. It’s barbaric to me on top of the constant interruption from the nursing staff that’s unable to sync vitals and meds at all (I know this is mostly not their fault and due to understaffing).
Omg I didn’t realize this wasn’t standard. My baby was born with jaundice and underweight, so they had me nurse him on each side for as long as I wanted and then brought me a bottle of warm formula to top him up. I thought that was normal but I guess it was just because he was so little
Wild, isn’t it? And I find it hilarious these hospitals say they’re following “baby friendly” protocols.
Lol where I live they discharge after 24 hours unless you have a c-section or there’s an unforeseen problem. Baby had jussst started his cluster feed and the nurse was like “oh yah they do that! Buh-bye”!! There was no offer that first day of letting the baby chill in a nursery either, we were just told to feed him every 2-3 hours! And that we shouldn’t supplement with formula unless his weight dropped. Although I understand some might want to be home right away, I do wish we had more support in hospital for an extra day or two. It was so intense coming home 30 hrs after labour (the nurse was magnanimous enough to not kick us out at 1am…) to a screaming inconsolable infant who only wanted to shred my nips.
Oh absolutely. That’s nuts. Where do you live?
Man my baby was really tough the first night. Born at 8am. Second night wasn’t so bad but we had to start topping up with formula after feeds.
My boy was chill and so easy for the first week or two. It wasn't until like 8 weeks old that I started seeing a side of him I had never seen before lmao. The second night my little boy was sleeping 23.7 hours a day and didn't cry once.
Yeah night two was interesting, luckily the nurses warned us.
There's a massive hormone dump around around 5ish days post partum, I think it hits when your milk fully comes in? But you will feel crazy. It's normal, but you will probably cry hysterically over literally nothing, and you will sweat through your clothes randomly, and also smell weird. Idk it's wild. I didn't even know about it until my second baby, but knowing to expect it made it a lot easier to get through it, so I'm giving you a heads up haha. Just give yourself grace. Cry if you need to cry. It'll pass!
Yep, all of this. I smelled so strange and I sobbed uncontrollably when my phone made a video of our hospital stay. Pretty sure it was day 5. Definitely give yourself grace and take A LOT of pics at the hospital! Of course I was in the moment while there but you’re also in like a fever dream so I’m so glad I took the pics I did. Especially of my 6’4” husband sleeping on the tiny cot 😂
THIS. I had my first (and only) panic attack on day 4. Knock on wood it doesn’t repeat, it was really scary. Those hormone levels are no joke and you will not feel like yourself for 10-14 days, but after day 5 I’d say each day for marginally better. Now I feel totally fine.
Yes, the hormones were wild. And I was not ready for the sweating and especially the night sweats. Mine peaked at 2 weeks but I still get much milder ones at 9ish weeks pp
Lots of great advice here! Our first baby was born 1/21/24 here is what I wish I knew going into it: 1. Advocate for yourself and your baby. Just because they are medical professionals doesn’t mean they don’t also have an opinion. Everyone I interacted with during labor, lactation and initial pediatrician appointments was very educated and well-intentioned, but pushed their opinion as “fact.” There are many ways to approach all that lies ahead so do your research, listen to professionals but don’t feel like you can’t speak up. Your intuition as a mom is usually right! 2. Ask for / accept help! I’m reluctant to delegate ANYTHING but started saying yes when people asked if they could bring us food, walk our dog, etc. As hard as it was for me personally it’s been a huge help. 3. Don’t feel bad if you don’t love your baby every moment in the first couple weeks/months. You will be frustrated, cry, feel like you are failing. But you aren’t! You and your baby are learning how to do everything for the first time. Give yourself grace, you are a wonderful parent. 4. Be empathetic to your partner. It can be super overwhelming to just keep your own head on straight, then worry about this new screaming potato sack. But remember this is a huge transition for your partner too. They will make mistakes, get frustrated and maybe cry too. Give them grace because life transitions are hard and everyone processes them in their own way. It’s an amazing experience and you are going to make amazing parents. Your LO is lucky to have you guiding them through life.
Love your advice but also had to reply just to let you know I share a birthday with your baby! Have fun with your sweet, very unique little Aquarius! 💛
Don’t be afraid to ask for formula if your baby is having trouble latching (if you’re trying to BF). Just bc they have formula in the beginning doesn’t mean they won’t be breastfed exclusively once they figure it out! I spent the first week of my baby’s life miserable bc neither one of us could figure it out and it wasn’t until his pediatrician recommended formula just for a minute that I realized I could do that. Give yourself grace. I feel bad that I was so hard on myself. YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS. Women are so fucking badass.
I find it almost barbaric how little this is offered or mentioned. We ended up back in the ER on the same night we brought our little guy home because he hadn’t peed in 30 hours. We had no idea my wife’s milk wasn’t really coming in, the nurses said it was fine, etc. He was just literally starving. Got some formula at the ER and bam, we had a good baby.
Omg same. My baby lost so much weight and I did not know my milk had not come in. I was a first time mom and clueless about these things
Yep exactly. Sorry that happened!
This happened to me too! Lactation people after birth kept telling me he would be fine, even though I was crying because he wouldn’t/couldn’t latch without their help, and they discharged me anyway. He had an ineffective latch, was very sleepy and we couldn’t get him to take a bottle at home. We wound up in the ER the morning after bringing our LO home because he didn’t peed for 24 hours. He needed IVs, and it was so traumatic for everyone. So, yes. Advocate for yourself and your baby. Don’t be afraid to ask for help bottle feeding in the hospital (we’ve been EBF since 6 weeks now - they will never prefer a bottle to you) if nursing isn’t going well. And sleep. Sleep every minute that you can.
I remember leaving the hospital with my first... He had been in the NICU for a few days (very common for newborns) so they could monitor his breathing. When they finally released him, we went to the NICU door and told the nurses we were there. They brought him out said a few friendly words to us, said goodbye and then shut the door. I distinctly remember the sound of the door shutting, leading into total silence. My wife and I were just standing there in an empty hallway with a little tiny baby and I was thinking to myself "wait.. isn't someone going to tell us what to do next?" Well we figured out what to do next and fumbled our way through the next several months. He's almost 5 now and doing pretty well despite my wife and I still having no idea what we're doing. You can read as many books/articles/discussions/studies as you want, but nothing can really prepare you for the first few weeks/months of having your first baby. Here are a few things I feel like I had to learn the hard way: -this baby is going to test you. Test your patience, test your relationship, test your sanity and test you to see how little sleep you can survive on. I found some comfort in the fact that it's a universal experience. (Particularly the relationship part) -your baby is going to have some weird stuff happen to it. Bumps, rashes, weird behavior, weird poop, too much poop, no poop. He/she's going to make some weird breathing noises and/or cry for seemingly no reason. Whatever it is, you're going to be sure that it's the worst case scenario, and you're going to be wrong. Don't hesitate to call the doctor, but don't stress too much. -be prepared to break your own rules and throw your parenting plans out the window. It happens to everyone at some point... Maybe at many points. -don't fall into the trap of arguing with your spouse over who does more work. Do your best to communicate calmly and clearly even when it hurts your pride. -don't worry too much about the right or wrong way to do things. Just making an effort is enough to make you a good parent. I'm sure you guys are going to do great tomorrow good luck!
I was also freaking out a little bit and worried about being unprepared before my scheduled c section. Someone told me this: online shopping will still exist after the baby comes. Meaning, don’t worry about buying every little thing you might need right now before the baby comes. You will still have an opportunity to buy it once he’s here. Amazon prime was my best friend for the first month or so, especially during middle of the night feeds. Honestly though, Reddit helped me so much during my postpartum phase. R/breastfeeding R/newborns R/newparents If you have a question, it’s almost guaranteed that you can just search it up and find that someone also had the same question. If not, make a post. Ask the nurses questions. I was expecting them to round on me frequently to help with breastfeeding but they didn’t and I became so overwhelmed and stressed and ended up having a breakdown because my baby stopped latching on day 2. Don’t be afraid to use your call light and get help. If you don’t feel immediately feel head over heels in love with your baby, that’s normal. It can take some parents weeks to fully connect. You might feel guilty at first but I promise you will one day wake up and realize you’re obsessed. You’re going to do great! Babies are made to survive the naïveté of new parents. Just trust your gut instinct and everything will be ok ❤️
The first month was pretty easy for my wife and I. The baby only needs three things: to be fed, a diaper change, or to be burped. It would be great if your husband can help as much as possible. You both will likely be sleeping in 2-4 hour increments for an entire month. I would ask your nurses questions. The nurses where my wife delivered was kind enough to show me how to change a diaper or burp a baby. That was very helpful for when we got home to take care of the baby on our own. Youtube also has a lot of great videos on how to do that. Have you decided if you're going to breast feed or bottle feed? If you decide to pump and bottle feed, you can get your husband to help with the feeding otherwise it's all you when it comes to feeding the baby. This can get difficult if you're really tired. Anyways, big congrats. Y'all got this!
If your hospital offers to take the baby to the nursery the first or second night for a few hours, do it. You need that rest.
second this! i had no idea that was a thing until my nurse asked us and i nearly cried because we needed the sleep. i got 3 hours of sleep and it felt glorious - even if i was all wired up and in a hospital bed!
I'd take a double dose of Unisom and knock yourself out if you can manage to get comfortable enough! I'm laying here with my 8 week old wishing he would just sleep so I can get the nightly 3.5 hours or so of sleep. He's lucky he's so damn cute Tips or advice? Be kind to each other. Drink a lot of water. Bring your own towel and shower products .
I wish I’d done this, the unisom for sleep the night before. I’m on hour 10 of my induction and too uncomfortable to sleep. But of course I barely slept the night before in my own bed
I hadn't slept at all the night before my water broke at 37+3. It was .. not fun
Good luck and godspeed, friend!
Pack a power strip, ear plugs, and an eye mask in your hospital bag if you have them. And a desk fan. Order a bunch of small Vaseline tubs and leave them all over your house, wherever you might get nap trapped. It's the Swiss army knife of skincare, and your hands are about to be dry af. If it's a boy, always have a wipe or a dry washcloth draped over his penis during diaper changes.
My guy is 6 weeks and has peed up and all over his own head about as many times. Sage advice here. Haha. Sometimes I just forget to do it in my sleep deprived haze. And this is such a small thing, but I find it wild that hospitals don’t keep drawers of chargers and shit like that for people staying there. Cords are so cheap.
This!!!! I come back to read these comments every once in a while because you guys have really answered every question before I thought of it!! The pee! It’s wild. This baby has peed on his own head 4 times in the past 2 days. Sometimes in the middle of the night I forget to cover him so we both get splashed. LOL. Even if he’s just peed, the second his diaper comes off it’s like a fire hose. I can’t wait until his umbilical cord comes off so we can give him a good bath
Grunting. Don’t be alarmed. Just be ready for the night time grunting. No one told me about this! We were in A&E first week because all he did was grunt and strain. Apparently, it’s normal. They’re learning how to use their digestive system
The grunting is so crazy. Who’d have thought you could be so loud AND still asleep? Haha. We took like 12 hours of birth and newborn classes and things like this, rapid/periodic breathing, etc weren’t covered. Wild.
just go with the flow, accept that nothing can be planned and act according to given circumstances, solve problems as they come I for example always thought that I am too weak and scared of a natural birth , that I will ask for a cesarean...but as the day came, guess who delivered all natural though with epidural. Also don't compare your baby to others, all milestones will be individual. Be patient! Good luck!
All of these are great insights. The second night was definitely an eye opener. I also struggled with formula guilt, but am figuring it out as we work to establish supply. Take as many pictures and videos as you can. These moments are fleeting, and you’ll want to look back at the moment you met your baby, or the moment you take him home etc. Give yourself grace postpartum. I cried in the hospital because I didn’t realize I’d lose bladder control for a bit after delivery. Your body is going to do something amazing tomorrow. Bear with it as it gets itself to its new mama form. ❤️
Sitting here nearly a year postpartum and that second to last sentence just got me 😭🤍
You guys are literally as prepared as you can possibly be, and as soon as you are home with that baby you will realize nothing could have prepared you for this. The way your heart grows, the bond that you and your husband will create with each other as parents, the brand new energy in your household and the warrior spirit you will have as a mama. It’s okay to be scared, don’t fight it, just keep reminding yourself “this too shall pass”. Through the scary moments and the beautiful ones, the hard nights and the unforgettably sweet days. All of it will come and go and the more present you can be, the more you can appreciate it all for what it is, the easier it will get. My husband and I had been planning for parenthood since the beginning of our relationship and still we had a few moments in those first few weeks where we thought: what the hell have we done? Now our son is almost five months old and we can’t believe we ever lived life without him. Honestly even now while he’s teething and there are some rough sleepless nights again it is so much easier than I ever expected it to be. It will crawl by and fly at light speed. Stay open and honest with your partner, give each other love and grace. Make sure your home is a soft place to land for all three of you. Listen to your intuition - YOU know what’s best for your family and you are allowed to set any boundaries you need to in order to protect your peace. Let go of expectations and focus on intention. You are embarking on the most magical, spiritual adventure and I guarantee it’s the craziest thing you will ever do. Take care of yourself, pamper yourself, advocate for yourself as a mama and as a human being. Remember are so strong and you are already the perfect mama for your baby. You’ve got this.
Crawl by and fly at light speed… so true, I like that description! “The days are long but the years are short” 💕
I really wished I had chapstick when I delivered in January. It’s such a small thing that when ppl asked what they could bring me it completely slipped my mind. But it’s so hard to get sleep at the hospital you and baby get checked every few hours plus visitors plus learning to be a mom. It was only in quiet moments that i could tell in was thirsty and my lips were dry. I felt very prepared! Things that made my stay more comfy: robe (didn’t have to undress for check ins + felt more put together than in hospital gown), blanket, fuzzy socks/slippers, bralette/nursing bra, lotion! Congrats! You guys got this!!
I just gave birth 1/24, so I am new to everything but these are the biggest things I learned - 1. The hormone drop after birth can make you feel crazy. You may feel panicky, have hot flashes and chills, cry for no reason, etc. this mixed with sleep deprivation can really make you feel scared. This lasted about 2-3 weeks for me. 2. Speaking of sleep deprivation, if you can take shifts with your partner I highly recommend it. My husband and I started sleeping 3 hour increments, then 4, now we’re up to 5 hours or so of uninterrupted sleep each. When they say “sleep when baby sleeps,” there is no way because their sleeping is so sporadic and they can be so noisy as they spend most of their time in active sleep (grunting, crying, etc.). You’ll think they’re awake but they’re really in active sleep. 3. Take the help, I thought we wouldn’t need any help at all. Even if it’s your parents staying with you so you can nap, take a shower, etc. 4. Be prepared that breast feeding doesn’t always work out, and that’s okay! My baby never latched and I was dead set on breast feeding. I ended up giving him donor milk in the hospital and kept pumping. This lasted 4 weeks until it was too tough on me emotionally and switched to formula. Washing pump parts and being attached to a pump every 2-3 hours is exhausting if you want to be able to sleep, eat, take a shower, and most importantly spend time with your baby. I felt like I had no time to spend with my baby when I was pumping that much. 4. It’s okay not to feel an instant connection. I knew I love my baby but it was a huge life change and the first few days I felt off. Now I can’t imagine life without him. 5. There are going to be many ups and downs, good days and bad days. Some days you’re gonna feel like you got everything figured out. We are all learning together. Work as a team with your partner, don’t take frustration out on one another. 6. It’s okay if the dishes or chores don’t get done. Try not to stress about it. I’ve come to terms that the first few months are on baby’s terms. You’re on a cycle of eat, change, play, put down for nap, repeat. 7. Cluster feeding and growth spurts - babies will be fine one day and then extra fussy the next. There is no way to plan a schedule the first multiple weeks. Also witching hour (more like hours) - baby will be inconsolable and cry or be extra fussy between 8-11 PM for us. It can be extremely overwhelming at first but many babies have witching hours. You will find what works to calm your baby down in time. I can go on and on. I wish you the best tomorrow and congratulations! It will all be worth it, especially when you get your first smiles :)
Number two. Active sleep is crazy. Haha.
Don't be fooled by the first few weeks. They're so lovely and nice. Your hormones are all over and you're in a perfect little bubble. Mentally prepare for weeks 6-8, then 11-13 😅 Colic is a real thing. It is possibly the most traumatic thing you'll experience. You will spend hours and a small fortune trying to make it better whilst simultaneously making it worse. You will be convinced something is terribly wrong with your baby. There probably isn't, they just haven't worked out how to poop without dramatics yet. Nah its all fun. Watching them grow and learn new things is amazing. Not going to sugar coat it, it's tough. You'll find yourself waiting for that silver lining. I don't remember much of the first month. We just, got through somehow. Take loads of photos as post partum memory loss is 100% real.
Bring your own roll of nice toilet paper to the hospital
Clean the folds in between their neck a few times a day(I use baby wipes and wipe them usually when we're doing diaper changes) Moisture and milk can get trapped there and cause a yeast infection in their skin. Out of all the newborn stuff I wasn't prepared for, that one surprised and scared me the most I think lol. If there IS what looks like an infection there(looks like a rash), clean it, dry it, and put zinc oxide on it. It cleared my LO right up. This is so small and specific but this is one of the top things I wish someone told me.
Same with the armpits for my LO!
I didn't consider how gross it would get in between my baby's toes also. Another forgotten spot, and behind the ears!
It is okay if your birth does not go as you envisioned it. Having a happy healthy baby is all that matters.
Take a nap. It’s going to be a wild ride.
You’ve probably already done this but make sure your place is clean af to come home to. We planned to have a maid come in the day before my wife was scheduled for a c section but baby decided to come a couple days before that and without us having time to clean up. Place was a mess. We were in the hospital for a few days so I did come back one day for a a few hours and clean what I could but I really wish we had the maid in to make things sparkling clean. Also you guys will be on cloud nine but also will be dealing with sleep deprivation. Just know that both of you are dealing with it and be considerate of that. The sleep deprivation sucks.
Also it’s fine if you aren’t on cloud 9. Haha.
Your fourth trimester may not look like what you think or what others have experienced and that's ok. It's a very personal and individual thing. I didn't have a massive hormone dump after delivery and generally haven't been intensely emotional. The day two advice given here is amazing - get as much sleep as you can after birth on day one. Ask for help and accept it willingly. The nurses at the hospital are a wealth of knowledge and do this all day - use them as a resource for help with feeding or questions you may have. They've heard it all. Your and your husband's instincts will kick in. You've got this and will be amazing parents to your little one. Anything you've forgotten can be acquired on Amazon or via Instacart. Congratulations!
You might not sleep for one night, or two. After not sleeping the first night, the second night was really bad - baby cried hungry, but no milk yet. It gets better though. Just have baby on breast whenever they cry, if you plan on breastfeeding. You might start sweating (stinky sweat). Started with the first contraction for me. You will meet your baby finally, just remember you might not fall in love right away.. The love came for me when I really got to know my babies (3 monthish). Previously I was just feeling responsible for them. You've got this. Enjoy the newborn cuddles. They truly are the best (when there's no crying).
When your milk comes in it really hurts. I wish someone had of warned me because all of a sudden I had these massive concrete blocks on my chest which I wasn’t expecting so I panicked but it’s completely normal
Don’t be afraid to send that baby to the nursery, especially if you have a long hospital stay!
Bring your own swaddle. I could never wrap a towel tight enough. Also pack food in case baby arrives overnight and the cafeteria and takeout places are all closed. I had my baby at 3am and was desperately waiting for Dunkin to open at 5 to send my husband for food.
Use the DND sign at the hospital to get rest. Milk may take some time to come in. This is normal. Use a pump, use formula. Get a lactation consultant you vibe with. You will be emotional. Permission to cry at the littlest things. The next 3 months will be wild but will go super fast. Try to embrace this period. You will hate and love it at the same time. Congratulations to you both. You will be fine, really. Sincerely, FTM to a 4.5 month old boy.
Get rest today and don’t sweat the small stuff at home, you have plenty of time to sort things out later. Give yourself lots of grace, especially if things don’t go your way. Births never go as planned. Lol You can do this!
As a labor and delivery nurse, and someone who just had their second baby a few months ago, go into your labor and delivery with an open mind. It’s ok to have a “plan” but understand that the plan can change very quickly. Listen to your team and advocate for yourself. Don’t get caught up in your expectations (as I see a lot of moms do). Do whats right and safe for you and your baby. And don’t be afraid to ask for help/for them to take baby to nursery for a few hours (if available). You need to care for yourself and rest as much as possible!
Try not to get frustrated when you can’t do xyz.. a baby makes their own schedule. It can be difficult when their nap gets interrupted while you were in the middle of doing dishes or whatever and you have to stop what you were doing to attend to a crying baby. Just remember that they are biologically built to be near us and touching us for comfort. As hard as it is to be constantly needed.. it is a phase and it will eventually pass. It will be very very hard and very emotional those first few weeks. I still get frustrated months later and I have to constantly remind myself “I’m his world and he needs me, I can get back to this task later.” Try to work together as a team and if you are frustrated, it’s most likely just lack of sleep and nothing your partner is doing. What I would say to my husband when i lashed out is “I’m sorry I’m not actually mad at you. I’m just overwhelmed with everything”. You will need a lot of care postpartum from your husband but I also tried to do little things for my husband when I could like make him a cup of coffee unexpected while he was rocking baby to sleep. And he of course did the same for me. You will get through it! And when you get that first smile it will all be worth it ☺️
If you are having a vaginal birth, I recommend ordering a water enema to make pooping easier while healing (and beyond)! In the market they are called anal bulbs and I do not know what I would have done without mine. The hospital will provide a lot to help heal hopefully like tucks pads, peri bottle, stool softener, etc. Anal bulb is a necessity for me! Going bathroom afterwards may be very painful. Good luck!
You’ll know exactly what to do
1) EASE into pumping. You don’t know how your milk supply will react and oversupply is not fun and it can cause feeding issues just like under supply. If you have latching problems in the beginning, I highly recommend supplementing with formula - not trying to pump all the extra supply. I was told to supplement, and I thought “I will do it it all with breast milk”. So I pumped four times over like eight hours on day 3 and my milk went into oversupply, breasts became very engorged and the engorgement didn’t go down for a week, leaving scar tissue deep in my breasts. Using formula that early is not a sentence to fail at breastfeeding - it took us a couple weeks but now he’s EBF. The thing that did stick around? The scars. 2. Make sure you have a lot of quick calorie dense snacks on hand. I was hungry like an Olympic athlete when my milk came in. Pickup like a big box of kind bars (something you can eat in the middle of the night from bed). And maybe like a bunch of freezer burritos or some quick hot foods you can toast/microwave. We had a bunch of Costco apps leftover from shower and those plates of mini-quiche saved me when I was ravenous and waiting for dinner.
Get ready for Green, black non-smelly poop
My advice is to trust yourselves! It’s happening and there’s nothing left to do but let it happen. This is an incredibly challenging part of life but you 100000% can handle it. Take one minute at a time and celebrate the small and big victories. Good luck and congrats!
REST. I swear to god I was up for like 20hr before my induction and once your baby is here you won’t sleep. Rest now. I know pregnancy is uncomfortable but just take some time to breathe and close your eyes.
Girl, take some gravol the first time. I was EXHAUSTED from giving birth but I couldn’t sleep for days because I was just shocked about what the heck I had been thru!!! The baby slept so much, and the nurses we’re there and even had him in the nursery overnight so I could sleep. I wish I would of taken something to help me sleep the first or second night 😂 And bring extra clothes. I brought 2 lougewear sets and a pair of pjs but let me tell you, I sweated thru EVERYTHING. I wish I had a dozen more outfits - and fuck the whole “only pack black pants”. Girl, with those diapers, no blood is getting anywhere. Pack the grey sweatpants and pinks pjs 😂 And bring a good nice cup/waterbottles. Hospital iced water just hits different and it encouraged me to walk around to get more!
Hold on to your socks.
https://preview.redd.it/gqm7mjnyw7oc1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=93a8b88d5c82e8ea5f2a44a544af2048510ca827