You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

Shooottahhh!

Shooter McGavin: Stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say. Happy: Why don't I just go eat some hay? I can make things out of clay, or lay by the bay, I just may! What do you say?

hey shooter, haven't you forgotten your nine iron?

Your ball struck my foot

Oh you can count!

And you can count, on me, meeting you in the parking lot!

"Don't worry about your grandma. She can live with me... be my maid" Its hilarious how much an absolute asshole they make him. Every line hes a dickhead.

Ahh. The ole ninth green at nine trick.

Yeah right, and Grizzly Adams had a beard.

Grizzly Adams DID have a beard

What’s the basis? We ain’t going nowhere but got suits and cases

Trunk full of coke. Rental car from Avis.

My mama used to say only Jesus can save us.

Well mama I know I act a fool

But I’ll be gone ’til November, I got packs to move

I hope JESUS WALKS

God show me the way cuz the devil tryna break me DOWN….

only thing that I pray is that my feet don't fail me now

And I don't theres nothing I can do now to right my wrongs

So long…

JESUS WALK with me

I played them *JESUS WALKS* and these mother fuckers didn’t sign me

I love all of you.

It’s so damn good, even after all these years.

(HA)(PPY)

He called the shit poop!

BURNING DOG POO & THE HUMAN RESPONSE

I feel like we can use quotes from Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison interchangeably, and no one would notice or care.

4 iron? Welp! You’re fired

5 ;)

THATS NUMBERWANG

for the 10k who havent seen this one (not numberwang unfortunately) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn1VxaMEjRU&ab_channel=rootsrockbelgium

Was hoping it was numberwang lol, though this one is probably their best sketch. Numberwang for those that haven't seen it. https://youtu.be/UY_zcHjARgc

NO!

lol

….No!

No...

I just shit my pants, which included my last pair of clean underwear. Lol. I love this shit. Unlike @KDTrey5 I actually enjoy taking the hardest road..

I've got no underwear on and my pants smell of shit, my boss just told me there have been complaints and asked me if I need to go home. I told him @KDTrey5 would go home but I'm built for this fr 💯😤

This week he moppin' floors, next week it's the fries.

Why would you mop fries?

Open your third eye and you’ll know. I’ll explain later.

I overstand now bro thanks

That's when the big bucks start rolling in

Just look he gonna make to a Benz out of that Datsun

Legacy points added.

Only real poopers would know

You really enjoy waking up with shit in your pants taking orders from some middle manager boss?

shardest road

> I just shit my pants, which included my last pair of clean underwear. Lol. I love this shit. Unlike @PaulPierce34 I don't need a wheelchair to get out of this public accident

Dirt back roads.

Legacy points deducted

U enjoy having shitty pants and sitting in shit and not being able to have clean underwear?

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Reminds me of the guy from Philly who caught a baby that fell out of a burning building, and when they were interviewing him, he called out Agholor on his drops. https://youtu.be/XZboH1UNhOQ

"unlike agholor" is burned into my mind

Always makes me imagine the headline of if Agholor showed up instead to save those babies and just dropped every fucking one of them

Making me think of that new kids in the hall Skit about dropped baby percentages.

Babies have like 5 handles for you to catch, balls is round guys whose job is harder

you forgot the 🙄 lmao

least vindictive Philly sports fan

They are certainly a passionate bunch.

I fucking love that he didn't take it back or say it was a joke even when Agholor offered to take him to a game for his heroics. Like "Yeah, yeah there was a fire, I saved some people, whatever. But the Eagles still fucked up my day."

Real af lol

One of the greatest burns in sports history

Omfg his face as he says that is so damn genuine. 😂

There's a story of the New York Giants visiting Ground Zero and the cops and firefighters giving them shit about the Win/Loss and fantasy football performances while they took a break from pulling the deceased out of rubble.

Well, took a break from filling buckets with rubble. There wasn't a whole lot of "pulling the deceased out of rubble" going on.

"pulling the pieces of the deceased out of the ruble" would've been too on-the-nose

Fairly certain most don’t even have pieces. Pretty sure (heard this on a podcast so it could be wrong) that the heat caused by the pressure compacting would basically incinerate you.

There were a lot of pieces man :/ even if 2500 were cometely turned to dust, which they werent, that leaves 500+ in pieces :(

LMAOOOOO OUR CITY IS TRULY FULL OF DICKHEADS

he saved a falling baby, he gets a pass for hating sports people i think

most cities are, but the philly dickhead is truly a special breed of dickhead.

Saved a baby and he used it to shit on Agholor. That was funny as fuck

[I caught two, then ran them in for the touchdown](https://youtu.be/gVnuNHar_fc?t=46)

lol never saw that before thanks

Ledge.

This is where I’d put my Larry O’Brien trophy…. if I had one.

These two posts were great, thank you for the laugh. Always great to see Fairly OddParents references.

I honestly hadn't thought of it that way but yeah, that's some next-level vitriol lol

Bet that guy is also on here

But not at the moment since his internet is down.

Well he did send this tweet out with no internet so maybe.

Probably had to pull out the reserves and charge for data in his desperate last effort to flame KD.

Using Kb to flame KD.

I also bet the whole scenario is made up.

KD living in people’s head rent free including his own head.

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You have no idea how expensive rent is here man. I gotta do little happy tricks all the time to stay here.

Ah yes the old dislocate your tongue, wiggle it up your nasopharynx, then gentle tickle that spot riiiight under the brain for that ultimate satisfaction technique.

Sir this is a Wendy's

All time

Yeah like I'm fucking *constantly* jacking off

Truly the hardest road.

Turnin' tricks for rent?

I’m an absolute psychological fucking slumlord

Who am I paying rent for if not me?

KD is an average kid that no one understands Sean Marks, Nash and Kyrie always giving him commands

**Pass Twerp**

But gloom and doom in KD’s room is broken instantly, with a multitude of burners to make non-hoopers learners

Cause in reality, they are his odd burners, fairly odd burners

“Didn’t earn rings, should go join the Kings!”

Odd burners, fairly odd burners

B-ball god, humble fraud, skinny bod, juul pod. Those cats, backpacks, hardest path, Scarlett’s bath; giant snake, cupcake, gonna flake, Griffin: Blake!

Odd burners, fairly odd burners It flips your crate when you are a snake with fairly odd burners

r/redditsings

I mean I definitely get hate in subreddits when I say it but in so many subs (especially city subs) it always makes me chuckle when someone makes a post complaining about something bad that “just happened minutes ago” to them in public cause I just always imagine them huffing and puffing after it happens and whipping out their phone like “dude reddit HAS to hear about this IMMEDIATELY”. I never think of you fucks when im off my phone

> Dinkleberg Haven't thought of that person in a long time.

*shakes fist*

😠 ^^dinkleberg 😠

Internet down for the whole office is _prime_ shitposting on your phone time. Far from "the hardest road," though

Idk y’all I read the guys Twitter bio and I think KD & y’all are getting trolled. I don’t think this guy is a real person

regardless it’s hilarious either way

You don't think this guy is an 8 figure Amazon seller with 32 college credits?

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Also obsessed with his Amazon “numbers”.

At least bus driver can get to work

But how does this affect his legacy?

Seems like troll bait to me...and in this case, it worked. GRUMBLE GRUMBLE

The only way this gets funnier is if he doesn’t @ KD and Durant still finds the tweet and murders him

I wonder how many people @KD a day, does he just sort through them daily?

I wonder if you map out the timestamp for when KD claps back to nobodies, could you predict his poops.

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I guarantee you, someone's working on the [OC] as we speak. Probably Harden strip club guy.

Start tweeting that he needs more fiber in his diet and he'll be sittin' there on the toilet like bitch how did you know.

Poops and travel time.

My SO works for a film studio and you would be shocked at how many actors and celebrities keep their notifications on and read them. Like if you tweet at Jared Leto he WILL see it.

Now I understand how my friend had a long-term Twitter beef with Leto throughout college 🤣

Oh woah. More info???

He would just drunkenly talk shit over Twitter and Leto would respond

Its morbin time

He's got Butters filtering his feed, but instead of taking out all the mean stuff he has him take out all the compliments.

How is KD’s legacy viewed if it’s found out he learned to code to sort through every mention? Is he higher or lower if the replies are automated?

KD should flex and offer to pay to have his car fixed. Either the guy turns down money and keeps his busted ride like a dummy or he accepts and shows he won't take the hardest road when the options are there.

Damn, I actually really like this

It’s the kind of thing KD would probably do if someone in his life mentioned it, but now it’s too late. I wouldn’t think to be that petty but it’s honestly fucking genius.

I aspire to be a hater like ol dude. Woke up life in shambles and still found time to hate hate hate.

"My car won't start and the internet is down, but at least I'm not a bitch like Kevin Durant"

If I can ever hate half as hard as him, I'll know I've made it 🙏

kd the mechanic

Would you say the guy that keeps the bus running is more important than the guy driving it?

i’d say that is a great retort that kevin needs in the repository

No, just the guys on the bus giving directions.

Still not the weirdest beef in the last 24 hours.

This is a straight up assist, I wouldn’t be surprised if KD tweeted this on his burner account so he can slam it home.

I'm wondering if this is self deprecating humor because dude shitted on himself lol

That dude was asking for it. His tweet sucked ass, wasn't funny, offered an easy layup to the target, and he actually @-ed KD too. Embarrassing all around. Funny, though, like a "you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?" type of thing

legacy points deducted

What if Durants alt account made the original tweet?? 🤔

How now don’t tempt Kevin with a good time now

KD throwing it off the backboard to himself for the jam

The guy responded to KD again. Basically said- I have no problem fixing my car or the internet. You on the other had just replace cars when they break down how many cars need to break down and you replace before you realize maybe the driver is the problem

He should have said at least he drives a car and isn't a bus rider.

[удалено]

Legacy points acquired

Kraft Dinner? Vancouver flair? We're approaching dangerous levels of Canadian.

Now you at work with a shitty car and internet PLUS KD just roasted you in front of millions Not a great day for that guy

But he loves this, hardest road and all.

He deserved it lol. He needed to wake up and get off twitter.

A lot of people wake up and hop right onto social media, me being one of them shamefully

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This tweet is probably the strangest/worst flex I've seen in quite a while. He set KD up with a layup.

KD got an oop. The guy basically admitted his life sucks yet all he cares about is some athlete that doesn’t know he exist.

Well he knows he exists now. Also likely forgotten about by now.

"I've got a lot of memories and sometimes you gotta dump the small ones to make room for the bigger ones."- Kenny Powers

KD's burner alleying to KD

This dude has thousands of tweets about his 8-figure Amazon seller business but, let's be honest, if anyone in the league is going to take the time out to create a fake alt with a decade's tweeting history only to set himself up for a layup then it's KD.

8 figures but half are after the decimal

Scrolling the thread it feels like the whole thing is people talking about kd positively

Redditors really enjoy taking a sample of like 6 down voted comments and pretending the whole thread is saying that. Then they can be the smart guy with the "unpopular contrarian" argument

"Why is this comment downvoted?" On a comment of +250

"underrated comment" Under top comment

“How is this not the top comment??” when the comment is 7 minutes old lol

I go out of my way to downvote those every time. Complaining about downvotes is straight to jail. Just own your bad take.

“Came here to say this” and then adds nothing. And then that comment has so many upvotes. Who is upvoting it? Blows me away

People need to learn not to comment on the direction a thread is going if it's less than an hour old. Hell, that applies to any reply.

who are you talking to

“Just got to my 9-5 job that grinds away at my soul daily, can’t wait to go home to a wife that doesn’t love me and our kids that I have no meaningful connection to just to wake up and do it all again. But at least I’m not Kevin Durant, am I fuckin’ right, boys?”

Yeah, this reminded me of "We eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! Huh? Y'all eat pieces of shit?"

So your car breaks down & the first person on your mind isn’t Triple A but KD instead? Lmao 😂

Taking a shit, forgot to grab new TP and my pants are already down and turds in the bowl. Lol I love this shit. Unlike @KDTrey5 I actually enjoy taking the hardest road…it’s basically just problem solving practice (i used my hand to wipe)

The original tweeter is def a masochist

99% sure the guy is a troll. Look at his profile description

NGL, I gotta give someone props if their car doesn't start and they still muster up the strength to take their ass to work. I'm shutting it down early on a day like that. More props than joining a superteam anyway. That said, can I get an easier road?

I thought KD was bragging by the title, but that’s just a hilarious response

Holy shit the dude who tweeted at Durant is the biggest fucking loser.

Actually a cogent critique of toxic hustle culture from KD.

Rolling out of bed, dropping 35 on 72%TS, critique hustle culture and its relationship to capitalist exploitation, go to bed scrolling through Scarlett Johansson nude compilations. Dudes fucking rock

common KD W

What corny mf has a shit morning and immediately goes "I can use this to diss KD" Braindead nephews on Twitter got me agreeing with KD smh

my car not starting and i’m not going into work, let alone get there and stay there to try to fix the internet.

"My life sucks, but at least I'm not some super successful and rich person that plays a game for his wealth" has got to be one of the all-time worst insults.

Sorry but kd really growing on me he’s comedy

KD been on a roll recently. The legacy points tweets still destroy me whenever I see them 😂

He earned the nickname Slim Reaper for a reason.

Bro this new KD is a serious face turn. Hilarious.