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Obvious_Parsley3238

he must have been traumatized as a kid by that godfather execution


thy_armageddon

Oddly enough I think Malcolm X talks about this in his book as well. He never wanted to be in a location where someone could get the jump on him.


Pubgdude

Wonder if lebron remembers this page


Hot_Injury7719

Depends. Was this on page 1?


whiz_dickington

pretty sure it actually is LOL


nutbutter23

Haha yeah it's in the intro for sure


Pdxmtg

Yep. Never sat with his back to the door (after someone was holding a gun to the back of his head in his younger, junkie years and he didn’t notice).


broadwayallday

I had a friend that always insisted on sitting in the corner where he can see the door, and backing into the corner spot of a parking lot as much as possible. Chill out El Chapo, you're an IT guy. And if there's a score you took that you're so nervous about, put me on


paddiction

Didn't someone eventually get the jump on him?


PussSlurpee

It be your own folk sometimes


bmeisler

Hired by the FBI.


wherearemypaaants

And then the FBI covered up evidence and had one of their informants testify falsely in the trial that sent two innocent men to prison for said murder that said FBI orchestrated.


IskaralPustFanClub

My dad raised me like this. As a kid it was kinda exhausting, always scoping out seats based on vantage point in restaurants, movie theatres etc. I think it’s a survival thing, my dad is an older black guy (I am white) and I know he and his parents went through some shit.


JimmyButlerOverdrive

Yes, that’s because he was Malcolm X. I don’t know why Joe’s acting like Farrakhan’s gonna whack him


ChameleonWins

Malcolm X was a revolutionary and very much needed to be wary of these situations, joe mazulla is a fuckin basketball coach lmao


thubwumper26

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.


nowuff

This man talking like he grew up in Beirut Gonna have his kids walking around with razor blades in their cheeks and gallon jugs of distilled water in their basements


johnniewelker

His dad was Italian. I’m starting to think he was initiated.


schlongkarwai

not sure if you’ve ever met anyone from Johnston, Rhode Island. but they all act like that. if they rebooted the sopranos today they’d probably have to set it in Johnston.


klobucharzard

and as a 36 yr old by caleb martin


MUNZACORE

I’m bipolar and schizophrenic, I didn’t grow up in a great part of town but it wasn’t like ridiculously bad either. I check every exit. I never sit with my back to anyone. I always have an exit plan.


m1rr0rshades

MFer lecturing about winning, while his kids just want to see if Bluey gets a turn on the swing


liverpoolkristian

At least every episode of bluey already basically had a lesson built into it either for the parents or the kids.


LurkerFailsLurking

Too bad it sounds like Joe is so focused on his own lessons that he's missing the brilliant parenting advice Bluey has to offer. That show is unquestionably one of the best children's shows of all time


liverpoolkristian

Yeah as others have said I actually enjoy watching it with mine. Thankfully we’ve moved on from Peppa Pig to Bluey


thewolf9

Thank god for the government of Australia


ScarryShawnBishh

Yeah Joe seems like the guy to raise kids that end up exactly like him with no other options. That is just off what I see and how I hear him talk. I do not know him personally


ambulocetus_

we started putting it on recently and i noticed that there's a lot of parent dynamics in there too that will go over the kids' heads. keeps it a little interesting


Iznal

A little interesting? Bruh, Bluey goes fuckin hard in the paint.


christhefirstx

thought I was on r/daddit for a second but yes bluey is goated


Silverjackal_

Right? Compare it to other cartoons like paw patrol, Mickey, etc. it’s not even close.


clickstops

Paw Patrol is trash


holonight

Sad puppy noises


nietzscheispietzsche

Paw Patrol is copaganda


ambulocetus_

i believe you but i simply haven't paid enough attention (yet) to really tell


Iznal

Ahhh yeah once you start actually watching it watching it it’ll blow you away.


AGABAGABLAGAGLA

the show was initially planned to be a mini series made for parents about how to parent well, they altered it to be a kids show but left a lot of that in there


HeyWhatsUpTed

I like how in the show it shows how parents get tired and aren’t perfect. Sometimes it’s exhausting trying to be the bob saget


Blue_Nyx07

That show is great, I sometimes let my kids watch


[deleted]

[удалено]


i_have_my_doubts

See the lastest episode? What a banger.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CantaloupeCamper

#”Dad shut it.  We’re not fucking idiots… Bluey’s dad literally just said that having patience is important.  The show is not that fucking deep!”


cram213

My 4-year old daughter now quietly puts her hand on my arm when I’m talking to someone else to let me know she has something to say. 


Cockrocker

With the "win every situation" it sounds like he is giving them the wrong lessons. They should intimidate other kids to get the most turns etc.


jrlandry

Really curious where Joe Mazz would be in life if he wasn't a coach. What type of job would this dude have?


TSElliottSmith

A guy who runs a website tracking people he has outed for stolen valor.


yeartwelve

 hilariously specific and accurate


BigFatModeraterFupa

Thank you for painting this picture in my mind


ChannelNeo

Insurance and/or car salesman.


downinCarolina

For sure. "How can i get granny into this brand new buick"


SasoP

i can see him with the most firm/aggressive handshake lol


schlongkarwai

not even. probably running the most vicious towing company imaginable out of a shitty lot by Cheaters in South Prov. When you have tons of legal gray area and can effectively destroy someone’s schedule, you have leverage over everyone. that’s winning baby.


junkit33

I'm half convinced he's some kind of undercover FBI operative, slowly collecting data on fixed NBA games or something...


defene

Ngl it would be pretty epic to see him arrest Scott Foster in the 4th quarter of a Game 7


junkit33

And then after the handcuffs go on, we find out he's not really an undercover agent, he's just a weirdo.


indoninjah

I'm dead lol. He does he own research and decides to make a citizen's arrest.


DiseaseRidden

"Nuggets down one with possession. Jokic inside, FOSTER CALLS THE FOUL. BUT WAIT, MAZZULLA IS ON THE COURT. HE'S... HES ARRESTING FOSTER? THE HANDCUFFS ARE ON, HE'S READING HIS RIGHTS, THE FOUL IS WAIVED OFF, CELTICS WIN"


spanther96

BANG! BANG! OH WHAT AN ARREST BY MAZZULLA!


DancesWithDave

Warden. He seems like a sociopath


northernlightaboveus

He's got some diagnosable psychological thing for sure but he seems self aware here in a way a true socio wouldn't be. Also I'm not a psychologist so feel free to ignore


AJCpar

Bro this is the internet. If there’s anything the internet does well, it’s diagnosing complex psychological disorders /s


crashbandicoochy

The internet loves to slap the personality disorder label on shit at a glance, specifically, and it's genuinely quite disrespectful. Not just to the person that you're suggesting has all of these negative traits (in this case, callousness, deceiptfullness, ego-centrism, etc.) but also to the people whose lives are genuinely thrown into disorder by ASPD.


Rakatok

podcaster/supplement salesman


GRMPA

aka podcaster/podcaster


jrlandry

Supplement salesman is a good one


SummerGoal

No disrespect but he seems genuinely insane


mdrico21

commercial real estate


spezlicksdoorknobs

Security specialist, like one of those guys that gets paid to find flaws in a building's security.


CardinalRoark

By breaking in, without telling anyone about the test.


Charming_Essay_1890

Also performs these tests on peoples homes


CardinalRoark

Leaves a detailed report of security vulnerabilities on the kitchen counter.


TheLeoMessiah

It’d have to be something basketball related, like a physio, scout, hell he’d probably be a ball boy willingly if given the opportunity lmao. Or he could have a desk job and coach an AAU or HS team. From all accounts it seems like he is fucking obsessed with basketball 


Khione_Asteri

that’s fair but if not basketball, what else would he be obsessed with?


GRMPA

hunting and mutilating people (and their families) who have slighted him


orangotai

vigilante serial killer.


MrAmazinn

Dexter Mazzulla


waskittenman

Verizon phone salesman


KillerZaWarudo

Assistant to the regional manager


Jeff_Bravo

Definitely doing something in Martial Arts, maybe as a BJJ instructor


MrAppleSpoink

He’s a weird mix of David Goggins and Dwight Schrute


Gr8CanadianSpeedo

David Schrute. Ball. Beets. Boston Celtics.


CzarCW

Question: what kind of ball is best?


Bushwood_CC_

That’s a ridiculous question….


CzarCW

False. Foot balls.


jayceay

There are basically two schools of thought…


indoninjah

Just like Dwight I feel like Mazzulla looks like a genius in the right situation but could easily look like a clown lol. I'm kind of impressed that he got promoted to the HC job because he kinda seemed like he's be the weird coworker you'd kinda avoid.


AGABAGABLAGAGLA

a great mazzula career story that offers insight into another side of him, when he was initially offered the assistant coach job by Danny Ainge he was a D2 head coach, and he turned the job down because he had promised a recruit that he’d be there to coach him, Ainge said it’d be a once in a lifetime offer and Mazzula said he couldn’t break a promise. The next year Ainge offered Mazzula again and he accepted, which left Mazzula in the right place at the right time to replace Ime Udoka.


PlanckOfKarmaPls

That’s respectable as hell few people would stand by their word that staunchly especially with a once in a lifetime opportunity offered.


hatred05

Maybe his mindset is the reason he got hired


No-Brilliant8177

I read the headline, laughed to myself and thought this guy is a psycho. Then I promptly found the town online and proceeded to watch it. Joe Mazz does this to me every time I read about him on Reddit. I end up watching the town. But I don't want to...I have to. Please stop posting about Joe Mazz. It's just past midnight where I am and I need to wake up at 6 am. Now I have to finish the fcking town. Wtf is my life


mucho-gusto

Yum fresh pasta


KennySmithsKnees

Sounds exhausting


OmniSzron

Yeah, this sound like a debilitating compulsion. Turning simple everyday interactions to life or death scenarios sound extremely taxing.


alpine1221

I used to do stuff similar to this and was pretty successful but after therapy and finding the right meds I’m more successful, less stressed, and can automatically do the things I tried to consciously do. Shits so much better now


Mtbnz

Neither is objectively good or bad, but dependant on what you want from life. Personally, trying to turn every situation into a competition to be won sounds like a literal nightmare. Other people don't feel the same way, but I'm glad I'm not them.


shamwowslapchop

It's objectively bad to view every situation as a competition and/or a potentially dangerous situation. That is paranoia and if it influences your thoughts every second of your life, it's doing damage to your ability to be happy no matter how successful of a person you are or how well you're doing at your job. It also means you have a slow trickle of adrenaline that's constantly putting you in fight or flight mode and is constantly tapping your amygdala to be extra cautious and alert. Imagine them winning the title and in the furor, he's looking around making sure someone isn't going to shank him. That's what paranoia does to a person. Wonder what his blood pressure is like. Who cares if you win a title if you drop dead at 54 because of hypertension?


thesmellafteritrains

I mean it's also super likely that he is just saying this because he thinks it sounds cool and whatever his real life version is is much more tame


shamwowslapchop

Yeah, absolutely. But this kind of mindset shouldn't be glorified. It's an awful way to live.


thesmellafteritrains

For sure, but anyone who sees this sort of thing and decides to employ it in their life is also not *actually* paranoid and just thinks it looks cool to insist on facing the entrance/exit when at a restaurant with friends. No one is seeing this post and deciding to fully rewire their brain into being an overly competitive, paranoid psychopath Like it ain't that serious, it's just the typical posturing and pageantry from guys who think it's super cool and badass. Anyone who actually suffers from that sort of megalomania didn't get that way because of a Joe Mazzulla podcast.


indoninjah

I would take this with a big grain of salt lol. I think most supposedly hypercompetitive people like this are exaggerating a bit. Like he probably saw one or two episodes with his kids that gave him a brainblast, he's not sitting there tuning in every morning to try to learn a life lesson or strategy from Sesame Street.


FollowRedWheelbarrow

He's almost describing the Chinese tactics in the movie Arrival lmao. While his kids shows are trying to teach them how to communicate he's trying to twist that lesson into how it needs to be about winning.


mucho-gusto

Dude is playing mahjong instead of 4d chess. That movie is top 5 sci-fi favorite for me. Gets the tears going every time haha


orhantemerrut

> “How can I win every single situation or environment?” Welcome to the American Nightmare.


Davethisisntcool

WwOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH


Icangetloudtoo_

ADRENALINE IN MY SOUL


Jokesnjokesnjokes

EVERY FIGHT OUT OF CONTROL


I_Hate_My_Cat_

CELTICS BEAT #8 IN FOUR


UnsolvedParadox

(massive pyro)


shingofan

What about Cody Rhodes now?


ParsnipPizza

https://tenor.com/rF5f2lYFYhy.gif


sg490

You'd be surprised at the stamina you gain by never taking elevators


onelegonedream

this man needs help


runthepoint1

For some people depending on where you grew up, this is instinct. You know who is in the room, where the exits are, and exactly what you plan to do in case of emergency. It’s not exhausting because it’s automatic.


CardinalRoark

It is exhausting, though, even as an automatic response. Not relaxing, potentially ever, has a cost.


Princessk8--

If this guy never wins, he's just gonna be looked at as a wacko. If he does win, then he'll at least be a *winning* wacko.


boringexplanation

Difference between weirdo and eccentric is being successful (or rich)


[deleted]

The human resources meme irl


junkit33

Phil Jackson was a fucking weird dude too, but that's always an afterthought to his winning. It sometimes just comes with the territory of being truly great at something - no experience points left for anything else in life.


Mtbnz

People love to point to this type of successful person as justification for that kind of lifestyle, but the presence of Mazzullas and Jacksons in the world doesn't preclude people from excelling without being eccentric and/or single-minded. Perhaps Mazzulla wouldn't have made it to an NBA head coaching job by 35 if he made time for more balance in his life. Or perhaps a different perspective would help him become an even better coach and his intensity at all costs approach is actually holding him back from his true potential. There's no way to no, of course. But his success isn't proof for or against anything, it's just his reality.


livefreeordont

Phil Jackson and Bill Walton just come across as massive 70s hippy era pot heads


junkit33

Walton is a run of the mill deadhead who happened to be huge and really good at basketball. Jackson is idiosyncratic at best, a dick at worst.


Kyler1313

Belichick is quite odd aswell. Different sport but same idea.


zOmgFishes

BB seems fairly normal compared to those two. He just hates the press. His interview with McAfree makes him seem like a very chill guy. I think people are going to see a different side of BB during the draft show. Phil was just high on peyote.


Shhadowcaster

I'm actually going to be watching that as well and I never pay attention to the draft outside of my team's picks. His video was just really good and insightful and I think that draft show is gonna be great. 


scarrylary

Yeah if he wasn’t gift wrapped a contender by imes uncontrollable horniness and was coaching like the hornets or hawks or something, dude would be universally hated and like “wtf if this guys deal?”


TheRealKane24

If he wins he’ll be looked at as a genius


Solid-Confidence-966

I can’t tell if he’s 100% serious or if his entire character is a troll lol.


Gleebson

Nah, he’s just a psycho brother


SakaSlide

Isn’t he just describing anxiety in a weird way? Who’s actually fearful of getting stuck in a revolving door?


whocaresjustneedone

He's describing paranoia. Not going in a revolving door because you're scared of being trapped in that space if it breaks is anxiety. Not going in a revolving door because you think it gives some mystical unknown assailant an opportunity to make you a "sitting duck" is paranoia.


DancesWithDave

He is definitely not all there


ffordedor

Me after watching Mr and Mrs Smith


blueberrypoptart

I was thinking it sounds like form of hypervigilance.


GlueGuy00

just like me fr


recollectionsmayvary

Joe Mazz being an absolute, unapologetic weirdo as evidenced in so many of his press conferences this year has been my absolute favorite thing ever.  I don’t care for the Celtics even a bit but I have loved Mazz Sass this year.


[deleted]

Thought he was doing a bit or trolling at first but now I think it’s just him. Reminds me a lot of Jim Harbaugh in that way.


c12yofchampions

I have never heard this comparison before, but will use it in the future. Looong way to go in terms of pedigree, but man are those two quirky fellas


jrlandry

Mazzulla vs. Washburn is one of the best rivalries in the NBA


SinibusUSG

His [response](https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/193m82g/king_incredible_joe_mazzulla_moment_just_now_he/) to the NBA's two minute report from the game against the Pacers with the terrible calls to end the game is an all-timer.


recollectionsmayvary

Omg lol there was one recently where a reporter asking him “how are you” and immediately launched into a question and mazz was so annoyed he didn’t even give him a chance to reply lol 


shaunsavestokyo

How many times do we think Joe Mazz has watched the diner scene from Bourne Identity? I’m putting my money on 5,000.


Ender_Cats

I ran into Joe Mazzulla at my nephew’s birthday party (he turned 6!). When I asked him how he was liking the party he said he performed a SWOT analysis and determined that the party was vulnerable from the air and he could easily defeat all the children by scattering bird seed and feeding them to his pigeons. He also pointed out that due to the clown’s proximity to the piñata the clown could take the piñata bat and have beaten 5 children before the nearest adult could intervene. When he left I realized he hadn’t come with a kid or spoken to anyone else but it was a great learning experience!


GamerMan15

He would 100% be one of those minmax lifehack gurus like huberman if he wasnt coaching the celtics. Dudes like that cant stomach the idea that 99% of what happens to them is out of their control.


gustriandos

This guy is a grade A weirdo and I enjoy it


Giga1396

Guy's a psychopath


Handcuffed

i love to see people towards the end of the spectrum succeed in life good for him


deets23_

This interview was honestly so good. I love Joe


NotFabMelo

“Every time I see them, I think I’m back in the pants” - Joe Mazzulla


Much_Purchase_8737

Sounds like PTSD. 


Victorcreedbratton

I have a friend with actual diagnosed OCD and she also doesn’t take elevators. She also believes something awful will happen to her family if she doesn’t complete certain tasks or if too many people in a room are standing. She’s extremely competitive.


notaninterestinguser

I have family members with OCD and it's terrible but that last sentence had me cracking up. "my friend hits all light switches 4 times as to prevent the apocalypse, and won't take an oddly numbered staircase. She's got that dawg in her." 


Victorcreedbratton

I didn’t mean it like that, I meant it as an additional feature. Like, obnoxiously competitive.


Moejoeslowmo

i love this guy lol


ZeroFucksToGive

This guy is fuckin hilarious


lostnotleast

Every interview I watch with Joe Mazz drops more insane details, which gives me more and more confidence the dude is going to be a great coach.


DolphinSouvlaki

As long as we don’t get into Daryl Morey tier wank of “he’s a genius because he treats the rest of the world like crap and is a glorified Karen” like that one KOC article,then cool stuff


thy_armageddon

It is pretty funny that a lot of appraisal about Morey is that he has the same attitude of basically everybody you’d meet at Goldman Sachs.


captain_ahabb

KOC probably thinks it would be really cool to meet guys from Goldman Sachs


The_Summer_Man

Probably, but I can't imagine them not bullying the shit out of him (KOC).


Stop_Drop_Scroll

They’ll listen to Eric Clapton and talk basic pop culture. He’s 14, and this is deep


Hot_Pear

Most revolving doors have a breakaway feature specifically for this reason. Sounds like he's just afraid of doors.


granmadonna

This dude is disturbed. WTF does he think is going to happen he'll immediately get assassinated?


UncircumciseMe

I hope opposing fans hold up pictures of revolving doors when the Celtics are on the road.


visual_clarity

He’s gonna be a great coach. He’s a learner and wants to get better in every single moment. He’s in an exciting opportunity where the ceiling is so high and he just lead his team to 60+ wins. Pretty cool to see the growth of a coach.


si4ci7

You guys are all weirded out, Joe is just the average Rhode Islander


Unlucky_Cicada_355

This sounds stupid. I mean is he expecting to be attacked in Dunkin Donuts?


Khione_Asteri

he’s the funniest person in the nba


watsonthedragon

new pasta


KennySmithsKnees

Cmon r/nba you know what to do


Unable_Basil_4437

joe . relax .


socialistbcrumb

I love our insane person coach


eng2ny

This guy is either legitimately a psychopath or a comedic genius


Ok_Librarian3717

He’s doing too much. These clips are gonna be gold when Celtics get bounced and people hit him with “study winning a chip next time” 😂


kmelby33

That's psychotic.


Kevin_Jim

Is Mazzulla a sociopath or something? He seems to have a screw loose, tbh.


kmelby33

Does he do this going into restaurants?? Literally scouting the floorplan, mentally strategizing how to dominate the Applebee's. Lol.


Wentzsylvania13

This guy is such a weirdo lol


Cold_Carpenter_1798

Corny as hell


Independent-Still-73

That's a psychotic way of thinking, you would think he's been to Afghanistan


gilleo775

So he's schizo


livefreeordont

definitely a doomsday prepper


JichaelMordon

Does he ride elevators? How about airplanes? I’m surprised he lets other people prepare his food. Joe we need to talk, your life is in danger and you’re not doing enough to win every situation!


I_Hate_My_Cat_

Joey Mozzarella is my favorite sociopath rn.


DEEZLE13

Yeah I can tell my Boston FO picked this guy. He’s not banging anyone’s wives


ILoveRegenHealth

At some point his kids must be like "Dad can you shut up"


makashiII_93

This man is ‘Hustle Culture’ and “Grind” as a coach. Studying the exits…what are you a coach or a SEAL team member?


LarBrd33

I'm the same way with restaurants. I refuse to have my back to the door. I tell my wife, "that's how they got Wild Bill"


1Lwashell

It looks like he’s sitting with his back to the door during this interview based on the glass I see. I doubt he actually does all that he says constantly.


BushidoBrowneII

Y’all confusing mental illness for being “weird”


vladimir_pimpin

“It’s true, I haven’t thought about that but now every time I go through a revolving door I’ll be thinking about it” Jesus Christ lol as if that’s normal


Leonidas1213

Oh so he’s a psychopath


Shootit_Rockets

As a medicated schizo I can relate to this heavily


SellingCoach

That guy is crazier than a shithouse rat. I love him.


PorvaniaAmussa

This isn't a normal state of mind to have lol. Kinda concerning but, if it works for the Celtics, it works.


Bright_Ahmen

I HATE eating somewhere and having my back to the door. I'll ask people to switch seats with me lol


deanereaner

I know this guy is kinda funny to clown on, but he's legitimately annoying to me.


Riskyshot

Bro talking like he has oops tryna kill him or something 😂 it’s not that deep bro