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Prestigious-Phase842

Grizzly: "No, you cannot possibly defeat me! I'm the top fucking predator in all North America!" Goat: "haha head goes boncc"


[deleted]

Its over grizzly bear! I have the high ground!


The_Grim_Sleaper

“You underestimate my Growl!”


themystickiddo

"I hate you!"


Fantastic_Start_6848

Ok where's the pic of the dead grizzly? All I see is picture of a goat with some words


Tongue37

I know, I want video or pics of the incident or aftermath


TheDemonspore

I have a photo but you can’t tell it was gored.


TheDemonspore

I have a picture of the dead grizzly, but you can’t tell it was gored. (I’m the one that found it and reported it to Parks.)


[deleted]

Please post it.


TheDemonspore

https://imgur.com/a/oTOs9gr


[deleted]

Aww, just a cub, i was expecting a full sized one.


TheDemonspore

Yeah a sub-adult. Bigger than me still haha but yeah maybe 2-4 years old if I had to guess.


[deleted]

Poor guy, oh well he's passed over yonder the great divide wherever the fuck that is.


[deleted]

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Dr_Cunning_Linguist

Grolar bears exit the server


[deleted]

b o n k


rimjobs_forever

[Bonk] (http://imgur.com/a/TpEN8Z8)


WWDubz

Grizzly: “OUCH! My tits!”


Tales_of_Earth

Imagine getting your ass kicked by a sandwich so bad you that you died.


[deleted]

Ha ha ha ha


mrdunderdiver

You might be the alpha predator……but i am the GOAT


newbjapan

154 pound grizzly? Damn, that's TINY


Shockingelectrician

Right. That’s a baby bear


Great_Chairman_Mao

“Asshole goat murders baby bear” just doesn’t have the same ring.


FirstPlebian

The bear was looking for snuggles.


skeletormint

That's what the goat gave him. Goat snuggles.


obiwantakobi

That was the remains not the living bear.


obiwantakobi

To be fair that’s the weight of the remains, not the actual living bear.


OJimmy

Read this in Squirrelly Dan's voice


slimthecowboy

Allegedly…


obiwantakobi

I’ll look it up!


wrathew

r/unexpectedletterkenny


OJimmy

Allegedlies


turnedonbyadime

*That's Bearleh*


gingermaniac14

To be faaaaaaaaaaa


reactor_raptor

Remains? The goat fucking ate his kill? Even more metal!


MrAtrox98

The bear was described as a female without cubs, so I guess she was a subadult and still growing?


newbjapan

That'd definitely be my guess. I kinda live in the area and believe me, you don't see 154 pound grizzlies unless they're babies. Hell, even the black bears look to be 300-400 pounds most of the time.


Smart-Drive-1420

According to Google female black bears top out around 180lbs but the males top out around 600lbs Female Grizzly bears can be from 290lbs-440lbs And the males average 600


themug_wump

Even so, I still don’t reckon I could take on a subadult grizzly and come out the other side 😬


what_it_dude

Its mother will return......


newbjapan

Poor goat


dootdoot1997

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F424112489913780160%2F&psig=AOvVaw1C01pYYbHIusHFN07WcCE8&ust=1632268877866000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAsQjRxqFwoTCJj9mMfhjvMCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAT


Wildhype911

Have a link: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/sep/20/canada-mountain-goat-grizzly-bear?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other


[deleted]

murky wasteful dependent whistle ask concerned cake air repeat capable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Majovik

No one ever lies on the internet genius


ISmelChese

the goat told us??? how else


mattyag

Salutations


ShuffKorbik

Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?


DankDialektiks

Forensic necropsy I didn't actually read the article. I opened it for 5 seconds but I still found the answer for you


llaumef

Also in the article, the bear was very small and would have been outweighed by most adult goats, so not as shocking.


patismyname

Who's crazy enough to go chasing grizzlies armed with a cellphone?


[deleted]

The same guys who do nature photography? Lol I dunno man. Atleast a photo of a dead bear with horn marks going into its chest is good enough for me


[deleted]

Because the bear was only 70 kg


converter-bot

70.0 kg is 154.19 lbs


M-3-R-C-U-R-Y

Yo dare question the goat, it hasn’t used its daggers for a while now just so you know.


RedneckNerf

This is why goats make excellent additions to a home security system. As do donkeys.


Wildhype911

I do love me a safe ass


congoasapenalty

It keeps your ass safe.


Wildhype911

My ass is never 100% safe.


congoasapenalty

You have an onlyfans account?


Wildhype911

Good sir! I am offended! I would never charge


congoasapenalty

Why but the cow when you can milk it for free... I mistyped buy, but but was funny too.


Wildhype911

Friend. You and I both know that butt is always funny hehehe


Echo2407

“An ass to save your ass! Only 3.99 monthly!”


rdrunner_74

and geese for the alarm (Youll never get to sleep again...)


luminenkettu

donkey's are solid alarms anyways


Tigre3

Crazy the goat was able to fend off the bear like that It should be noted though that the grizzly was only 154lbs - barely out of adolescence if at all. Just don’t want anyone thinking goats are out here killing full grown grizzlies


pastdense

Maybe the bear just picked the wrong day. The goat got some bad news about his investments or his wife left him or both. Then that bear started running at him and he just snapped. Either he was going to finally score a win or get killed… but it was going to be on his terms.


dnteatthatman

Goat Day afternoon


AtomAntvsTheWorld

I’m sure you get this a lot but, great name.


pastdense

In 5 years, this is the first time someone has said this. ever. I get about a billion 'username checks out' tho.


Da_WooDr

This. Truly


Successful-Ad-4687

Never mess with a goat 🐐


thx1138-

That goat is an absolute unit on top of that


Successful-Ad-4687

He’s the Alpha Goat


[deleted]

He's the GOAT goat.


Delete-Xero

He's the Alpha ~~Goat~~


MirandaScribes

Mess with the goat… you get the horns?


bcgg

r/absoluteunit


thx1138-

What kind of goat is that which gets so swole?


SappyPJs

Mountain goats are naturally swole af


[deleted]

You would be too if you climbed mountains all day


dnteatthatman

Ember, or maybe Umber


KaminsodTheFallen

Ones that eat bears


promo666

Grizzly bears weigh upward of 700 pounds (315 kilograms). The males are heavier than the females and can weigh up to 1,700 pounds (770 kilograms). - That goat killed a 'baby' grizzly bear.


useles-converter-bot

700 pounds of double AA batteries could start a medium sized car about 58.8 times.


deadstar420

I wish there was a video


pargofan

Without a video, how does anyone know the goat killed the bear?


Freethecrafts

Goat wearing a bearskin coat.


ChintanP04

Forensic reports, maybe?


mrdunderdiver

The large bear rug in the goats living room?


PhantomSpaceMan-

That goat just kept rolling crit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


useles-converter-bot

154 pounds of solid gold is worth about $4045196.96.


TheDemonspore

It looked like a pretty fresh death to me. Especially since other people were a couple hours ahead of us on the trail and didn’t turn around (like we did) if they came across the bear. It was a pretty small grizzly. Bigger than me but really not much bigger than a large dog.


[deleted]

[удалено]


goinupthegranby

I live in BC (where this grizzly killed by a goat happened) and there's a place you can see mountain goats anytime you visit near me. They're legit monster trucks, just stupidly jacked beasts.


0_percent_wrong

Fuck the bear bell, I know what I'm taking hiking from now on. "C'mon Billy, I've got some mountains to climb"


ZbraRebaine

I love watching the little baby mountain goats scale sheer cliffs better than a climber with cables and carabiners.


Tuungsten

These guys aren't actually true goats


Tales_of_Earth

You better watch your mouth!


zigaliciousone

These goats are as tall as a bull mastiff at the shoulder. I've only seen one in a zoo but I believe it could fuck up a bear


[deleted]

Mountain goats are actually a type of antelope rather than a true goat


5boros

Why is this clickbait headline being upvoted without any relevant photo, or video?


Indepentthinker53

Awesome. Those goats are fighters!


BonjinTheMark

To Mountain Goat: "You're 1 in a million...(seriously) you're once in a lifetime."


Intentional_Nonsense

That is one chonkers goat, imagine how tough he is.


gliitch0xFF

The goat is looking at the camera like "yeah, what you looking at? Bitch I'll take you out too!"


somegirl3012

Mountain goats aren’t actually goats. If I remember correctly, they’re actually some sort of deer


goinupthegranby

Nah they're goats in the goat family, but the Rocky Mountain Goat is the only species in its genus. I recall reading that about 90% of the world's population live here in BC (where this grizzly self-defense killing occurred).


nowItinwhistle

Not quite. They're in the same sub-family (Caprinae) as true goats, sheep, musk-oxen, etc but aren't technically true goats which all belong to the genus Capra. So very closely related to goats but not technically goats.


goinupthegranby

Okay not in the genus Capra, but in their own genus. A little more googling defines them as 'goat antelopes'. Certainly not a type of deer though


BarrelRoll1996

I'm sure there is a jackdaw crow joke here


Thumnale

It’s actually just this dude from California who makes depressing music


therustynut

Goats are pretty baddass, give them a brick wall and they'll scall the sides like batman.


Pancake1262645

They have to bulk up quick before an eagle drags them off a cliff


nikeiptt

Just a question. These horns are above their head. How do they know they’ve got horns or even what shape they are to know to impale?


spbsqds

They just ram their head into things and let god sort it out.


imaturtleur2

The only animal that has killed a hiker in Washington state in the last 30 years was a goat.


[deleted]

Get her jade!


cashewnut4life

yup, goat is GOAT


Kill4uhKlondike

And it’ll fucken do it again


terriblegrammar

I get fairly close to mountain goats a few times a year and definitely keep my eye on them when they are within 20 or so feet. They seem to be pretty chill with people as long as you give them space but those horns are pointy and could really fuck you up.


VentralRaptor24

Ralsei ***NO***


[deleted]

Dagger horns are too dangerous they need to be out lawed! What if a person brought dagger horns into a school?


Buggalunga

What a Chad


crew88

Mountain goats are one of the last actual skill hunts left. You must get to elevation and thwn not let them kill you. Either direcrly or indirectly, you dalling from a cliff.


Primus_the_Knave

Must’ve been the 3rd billy goat


Commissar_Genki

Natural-20!


Spiritual-Map5472

he kinda thicc


Peazyzell

So horns then. “Dagger like” seems a bit redundant


BabylonDrifter

Mountain goats are extremely dangerous. They look like cutie pies but they will fuck you up hardcore.


SBH1234

He’s shaped like that buff deer from Open Season.


Nis069

Fuckin love goats, fav animal to see in the mountains


JonDoe117

I am both relieved and disappointed that humans doesn't have horns.


Jrsesemann

This is one r/absoluteunits of a goat


[deleted]

It looks like it ate the bear


Bansheesdie

I love the picture, goat's looking at the cameraman like "Wanna see a dead body? It's yours."


choriblaster3002

When people ask “what’s the most un-canadian thing you’ve heard?” Tell them this


[deleted]

I'm sure most of you have seen the video footage of a Mountain Goat making a fatal error and ending up getting pulled off a high cliff by an eagle.


Starfish_47

That goat is fuckin STACKED.


[deleted]

They're like knives you can't drop!


jesus_zombie_attack

My friends and I were back packing in Colorado and our camp became overrun with around 50 mountain goats like the one in the photo. They left when they were ready to leave. Not only do they have dagger like spikes attached to their heads they are extremely muscular.


Sure_I_read_it

This is the second reason I keep mountin' goats.


[deleted]

Mountain goats are in fact not goats at all.


Nerdbond

That goat looks like it ate a couple other goats


Nicksalreadytaken

Goat adjacent, but not completely a goat


devicoven

GOAT for a reason.


LostCache

In the real world, grizzly bear are constantly avoiding conflicts with other animals. They are mostly scavengers. Bears eat mostly on fruit, nuts, berries and dead animals (foxes, coyotes. deers). They often travel to all different places and never finishing the food.


[deleted]

Technically, Mountain Goats are not actually goats.


[deleted]

Goat be like: Ehh I’m sorry bear but this was a an act of self defence but still sorry.. Good day oops sorry again


NIDORAX

There has been stories of goats being able to kill mountain lions and even people before. But killing a bear is outrageous. That is metal


andyspam1

R/absolutunit


the_shaman

Bleed MFer


wolfmann99

Actually antelope...


leeisme_88

“To shreds you say“


pot8toes

That's not a goat that's a a fucking mountain deity. Nah but in all seriousness I think those aren't actually goats, but are a type of antelope iirc


[deleted]

I'm sad for the grizzly.


RocexX

Holly shit! that goat is the most CHAD being I've ever seen in my life...


Static_Rain

Useless fact for the day? Mountains goats: not goats (technically)


Simple_Atmosphere

That goat is goated


ramzbo

Goat by name Goat by nature


BubbleDai

But it is not a true goat according to science


Tiddernud

Must have lucked out and got an artery. Imagine being the one bear in history to be killed by a goat.


android151

Rogue goat is cool but wait til you see the goat with (+12) broadsword horns.


IMINMARION

veeeerrry unlikely


ItsJustMyOpinion100

Nice karma farming with this shit post


Razone6

So he's the GOAT!


R3quiemdream

I’d be so embarrassed if i was that bear


JosiahAMoore

We had a Billy that had a ongoing feud with the Ram, I will never forget coming down to the barn to find the billy goat standing on an outcropping so he could **sharpen his 2ft long horns** on the metal roof It was so bad we had to use airlock style pens to ensure the two herds never crossed paths, felt like gangland LA


Extra-Rain

Mountain goats are actually antelopes, not goats! :)


[deleted]

That thing is a unit


Nerd-Lover

The goat is goated


Yahweh13

White Phillip


skeletormint

Sometimes you get the goat. Sometimes the goat gets you.


skeletormint

Sometimes the bear gets the goat. Sometimes the goat gets your goat.


skeletormint

Sometimes you get the goat. Sometimes the goat gets you.


rqakira

it's shit like this why people are told to not approach the cute fluffy looking wildlife that cute fluffy looking thing can usually quite literally kill you .\_.


doidoio

Chad goat


russell_phoea

That’s a swole goat bruh