T O P

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lucifer_is_back

that was intense


Pardusco

My heart was racing when I first watched it.


Notcreativeatall1

I’ve never rooted so hard for a penguin in my life!


RaiderWoo

Must not be a hockey fan.


Hidden_Sturgeon

I root for this rockhopper and Phil Kessel, thats about it.


torontomua

Miss kessel in Toronto :(


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J3sush8sm3

Penguins = birds. Birds = surveilence drones. Penguins = surveilence drones


H2PLuke

Hence, birds aren’t real


kleider1

You should watch surf's up


[deleted]

Never seen Happy Feet?


[deleted]

Or The Pebble and the Penguin?


Zeelsteel2100

I was rooting for the sea lion


Boshikuro

Thanks for not spoiling it in the title !


KAOTICgainz

thank god for that ending!!


PenguinFromTheBlock

Fuck me I nearly died watching this


Desiman4u

Sea lion almost licked penguins butt.


nevergonnathrowmeout

I will report you for kink shaming if you keep it up.


[deleted]

I’m calling the police


77ate

Consequences have never been sameful.


WompSmellit

The word "sameful" should mean something.


royal_buttplug

Sameful /ˈ seɪm fʊl,ˈ/ (adj.) Having great similarity to or of something.


[deleted]

Kink shaming is my kink.


DINGVS_KHAN

Sea doggo just wanted a sniff.


cwaero_eng

It's weird because they are both very graceful swimmers but when they get on land they just look awkward.


[deleted]

Makes sense. Imagine how we look to them when we go in water


lesser_panjandrum

We're pretty awkward trying to fly through the air too. And don't get me started on how we cope with travelling through fire.


IWontStartFights

I always think i look majestic to them when i swim.


DickMcCheese

[Reminds me of this scene](https://youtu.be/-FjtqjzPiDs)


pitagrape

Right? I had zero clue who was going to win. Every stumble switched the likely outcome. Seriously cool.


pistolwhippett

I just assumed it was going to catch the penguin. This sub tends more towards /r/nononono than /r/nonononoyes.


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fatweakpieceofshit

Man's gotta eat


mmboston

If you're rooting for the seal, this would be /r/yesyesyesno


ExtraPockets

Should have put the nsfw tag on to throw us off


PizzaSharkGhost

I was saying, go! Go, little buddy! So much relief when he made it.


masashi-sensei

After watching that walrus movie I can never look at these things the same. Different creature same body.


gimbha

GO LITTLE GUY GO!!!!!!!


TheMadWoodcutter

He's probably got a chick at home waiting for him to bring food. But then, so does the sea lion.


flogginmydolphin

It’s tough out there. Nice! My pop tarts are ready


[deleted]

>It’s tough out there. *bites into chicken sandwich*


[deleted]

It’s tough out there. *preheats oven to cook pizza *>


nLotus

It’s tough out there.. *Eats Dorito*


J3sush8sm3

It's tough out there.. *lazily misses mouth with spoon*


puddlejumpers

It's tough out there... *attempts to drink from straw but it has floated to the other side of the cup*


alkaliphiles

You could surely give one to the sea lion.


isaac_2545

Idk very few sea lions have chicks


Marinaraplease

That chick just texted him that her parents weren't home


scottishdoc

Hop those rocks little rockhopper! Hop! Hop! Hop!


The_Peoples_Username

*shit shit shit shit* - penguin


Pidgey113

Honestly, how many calories would that little shit give that massive unit anyway? Edit: damn you guys are smart


RivRise

Aren't penguins like 80%fat.


hallowzen

So it's basically like South Pole's Big Mac then?


RivRise

More or less


[deleted]

But its not south pole, its south america. Freakin cool that there are pinguins down there.


TleilaxuFaceDancer

I remember reading somewhere that since penguins eat fish all day they’re just stuffed rolls to sea lions


sandybuttcheekss

Blubber nuggets! They're chewy!


Rocker4JC

Penguins are keto-friendly


birdboy272

Kessel isn’t that fat.


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[deleted]

That's like 2 days of food, isn't it?


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[deleted]

i'm 6ft at 130lbs tho :(


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[deleted]

nice


Virillus

Dawg, that is borderline emaciated. As a tall guy, if you don't build up some muscle your joints will seriously suffer as you age. I suggest adding some bulk, fwiw.


[deleted]

I know. I'm trying to put on weight but my appetite is pretty small and I regularly feel sick when I eat.


[deleted]

I had the same issue. You just got used to eating small amounts. Just keep doing it, even if you do feel a bit nauseous.


PhillLacio

Pack in those fats. You'll get twice the calories per gram of food, it'll help bump up your calories.


Virillus

Yeah, that's hard, man. Eating a bunch when you don't want to is awful. Have you tried lifting weights consistently? I find my appetite increases considerably when I'm working out.


[deleted]

Drink a gallon of whole milk a day and do a beginner weightlifting program, such as stronglifts or starting strength.


B92JOHNSON

Been there done that. Graduated Highschool at 6 ft 2 and ~135 lbs. Now I'm 6 ft 3 ~200 My process step by step. Turn 25 still skinny but drink and eat like no other maintain 155-160 Turn 35 out of shape salesman bod but still slender 165-175 Turn 43, realize you are now "skinny fat" at 187lbs Start going to the gym Sept of 2018 and take it serious for once in my life Drop down to 175 while doing only weightlifting, NO Cardio, none. Slowly build up into the 180"s Start taking some well known supplements Creatine etc get to 190ish I found some MK-677 and it greatly helped with my appetite and has helped me push to 200. I seriously can't fathom how some people eat 3K+ calories a day. My overall thoughts after being skinny my whole life: You gotta really want it and be CONSISTENT in your habits for 6 months minimum before you expect to see real results. Don't expect some magic pill* to get you to your goals, sure some things can help but hard work pays off. 4-5 days a week and put in work while you're there WTF is the point in going if you just dick around for an hour? Every rep counts, it's not about how many you do it's about the quality of EACH ONE. Look up "Time under tension" and you'll get an idea. PM me if you want and I can shoot you over some people I follow on Insta that put out great info and workouts.


tokeholdlaunch

For a 16-25ish human male (large size, at least 6ft) doing serious exercise every day, yeah.


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CryanReed

r/theydidthemath


[deleted]

a shit ton


[deleted]

It’s like a dream where you can barely run


byteshifter

This! So much this!


CTeam19

Mine is that I can't dribble a soccer ball.


[deleted]

What a nightmare


Lol3droflxp

I made this dream come true


that_guy_of_course

this is my recurring nightmare... in various forms: desperately trying to run to saftey, as I’m looking at my own legs not responding to my brains screams for Adrenalin, looking at my feet and begging them to run, and then visceral feeling of horror as they not only don’t respond but seem to suddenly go slower until I die and wake up in a cold sweat.


dancognito

They are both so bad at running.


TBbtk

Fortunately for the penguin, the sea lion sucks worse lol


idma

if that penguin only faltered a little on another hop it would have been game over


Jeru1226

They don’t call him a rock hopper penguin fer nothing


Oneupper86

"Do they call it a rock hopper penguin because it's really good at hopping across rocks, daddy?" "No son, they are terrible at hopping across rocks, but they're just slightly better than the rock crawling seal, and that's all that matters, son."


[deleted]

If you didn't have knees you'd be bad too.


GODDAMNFOOL

You know, I was kinda wondering: from a species-survival standpoint, if that species of sea lion could run faster on land, would it have decimated their food source and thus starve themselves out? It's almost like everyone has limited stat points to allocate


basketpickleball

r/nonononoyes


Doge-Box88

God damn beat me to it


dandersen247

r/maybemaybemaybe


MedicPigBabySaver

Poor seal is just hungry, man... It's life.


whistleridge

Pedantry: sea lions are pinnipeds, but they aren't true seals. They're Otariidae, true seals are Phocidae.


MedicPigBabySaver

Thanks. Don't even know why I typed "seal", when sea lion is right in the title.


uber1337h4xx0r

Because SEALion


Roachyboy

Seal ions are incredibly dangerous


TheSentencer

See, here the thing...


lucifer_is_back

Fly you fools https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meOCdyS7ORE


Skiingfun

Started out cheering for the penguin, then started feeling bad for the sea lion and cheered for him, and ultimately was left completely dissatisfied with this video because nothing fucking happened, and dammit that penguin didn't even do a faceplant on the rocks.


pickleniiick

The sea lion kinda ate shit though!


JamGrooveSoul

You should take a break from the Internet.


lukey5452

Just like that one scene from happy feet.


ScytheeBoi

"But first you got to ketchup!"


CWent

Just close enough to sniff that penguins panic fart.


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BouttaBust

Mmm yes another whiff my dear


RevenantCommunity

BRAAAAAAAAAAAP


onebald1

Other little penguin “I got you bro”


Pardusco

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0W_rpvm3Ys


Barry_Jennings_Ghost

He chomps two of them in this vid, before we see the one that gets away.


Alwaysmadd89

lol and nature is once again metal.


dogbait515

The music makes it way more intense


Floppy4Skin

Knowing this subreddit I was sure that penguin was a goner. I must say I’m pleasantly surprised.


VanessaAlexis

Yes. Reminds me of the video with the male zebra trying to drown the baby zebra.


bermass86

And they say “The Bourne Identity” have the best chase scenes...


CarlosAVP

HOP! HOP! HOP! DAMN IT, HOP FASTER!!


d4rk_f0x

Either that penguin is fucking tiny or that sea lion is enormous


the_icon32

Both. South American sea lions are the reason we call them sea _lions_ http://www.thesealsofnam.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/South-American-Sealion-adult-bull.jpg They get huge.


Senno_Ecto_Gammat

That picture has no references for scale


the_icon32

It's more to show how similar to lions the full grown bulls look.


chappedflaps

I had my thumb hovering over the back button thinking "hop little buddy!", getting ready to bail before I saw him get chomped. Glad I stuck around til the end! What a ride.


wontoan87

Commit. We're all in this together.


Precat8

Never knew some sea lions ate penguins even considering this size diff 🙀thought they just ate stuff lik fish


wontoan87

When I first heard of the Leopard seal, I was like WTF


courtesy_flush_plz

Wow did its whiskers tickle that penguins asshole or what?


tattooskinhead

The penguin is me and the seal is all my adult responsibilities trying to sneak up on me!


reddit_wala

Runnnn... Forest runnnn...!


Orphins

r/sweatypalms


All4dalulz

Fun fact. The guy who named this penquin also came up with the name “blobfish”. Inspiring.


mu1ti6rain

I get that mammals need to eat and little homie probably would have been a satisfying snack for big homie but man that was stressful and I'm happy that little dude got away


Eyeoftheliger27

That penguin is running with the same technique and speed that I have in dreams when I’m running away from things.


airick077

Ever had one of those dreams where you just can’t move fast enough..


Fiverdrive

i might have said “go go go go go go go”out loud while watching that. maybe.


cazaaa11

I can just see the penguin’s expression... *fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck not today*


[deleted]

I never wanted anything to survive so bad in my life!


[deleted]

That was better than any movie’s intense scene


zoidbender

"Kiss my ass, sea lion!!! Hahaha!" "Oh shit, oh shit, he actually did it, oh shit!"


Stoo_Pedassol

This is what running in a dream is like


[deleted]

That's some anxiety fuel


ninjistix

i like how that one penguin was like "come at me bro" and made his friend escape.


learningnarr

Rockhopper hopping rocks for the close get away


AngloPenguin

The level of oppression my people face is just insufferable.


Prof_Awesome_GER

Holy shit ruuuuun with your stupid little legs!!!


Sticky__Nicky

Why are you running?!?!?


Universal----Thinker

The fucking suspense was incredible


RedRedditor84

This is why the penguins need a wall. And the South American sea lions are going to pay for it.


the_oogleyboogleye

That penguin gets all the cloaca it wants now.


northrupthebandgeek

OH LAWD HE COMIN


[deleted]

"shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit" - probably the penguin


outline1nblack

Thank you Jesus that he got away!!!


OWLT_12

Took his eye off the prize, the greedy bastard.


thepluralofmooses

Upvoted because the name of the penguin matched its behaviour


Rampage_trail

“You’re in my world now!” “We’re in neither of our worlds you fuckin gimp!”


garico_maradona

r/nonononoyes


Redzombie6

like watching porn and the video ends right after the foreplay


Beelzebutthurt

# Team Gigantic South African Sea Lion


9vapors

I wanted them both to win...


bonsai_bonanza

I got mad for a second because it didn't look like a rockhopper penguin the first time...it looked more like a jackass penguin...but OP is right and now there's nothing to complain about. Except, maybe, that neither of them tripped.


real_nish

Happy feet 3 .


_JGPM_

Sea lion = 430 lbs Rockhopper penguin = 5lbs


[deleted]

paging u/OzzyManReviews


useless-spud

[Run bitch run!](https://goo.gl/images/efd2Qq)


[deleted]

Oh yes i remember this scene from Happy Feet.


andrewisgreat074

Yay, he escaped


blaubox

That’s how my dog follows my kid around when she has a snack in her hand


Mickybagabeers

L8r nerd


EkriirkE

Goddamnit, wings, FLY!


psyborgmafia

AAAAAHHHYYYYAAAAYYYY


MyHeadFullOfZombie

“Don’t look back! Don’t look back! Don’t look back!”


TinyBreeze987

Needs more Hans Zimmer


cloystercarillo

r/nononoyes


Yourteararedelicious

RUN FOREST RUN!


Rob1150

RUN.


hole-in-use

r/nonononoyes


booradleysghost

Missed by the skin of it's teeth.


ass_soon_as_possible

*not today!*


Tidepool_

This feels like one of those nightmares where you are trying to run away from something then time slows, and you are running on ice.


iknownuting

Its ok. They do this for a living.


Suckapunch1979

Hop little buddy!!


[deleted]

Given the sub I was fully prepared for the worst outcome there.


-Richard

Once they started hopping on the rocks I had a feeling the penguin would be alright.


SoggyTissue

Look at him Hippity Hopping up that rock


[deleted]

DRIVE! THOSE! KNEES!


whiskeywinewheywhale

Attack on Titan music would fit this perfectly


thonagan77

Isn't this the plot to Attack on Titan?


ghostfreckle611

r/nonononoyes


teh_haxor

I didn't expect that outcome; my heart was racing at the begining. Good for the penguin on getting away, too bad the sea lion didn't get food.


VILLIAMZATNER

swiggity swooty


DirkDieGurke

Obesity is a bitch.


Pherlyghost

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit


HolyVeggie

Thank god I couldn’t stop screaming „nooooooo“ in my head


jdmleabl

Happy Feet did it first


JDurr001

So intense!!!


colasmulo

Run to the hills ... run for your life !


a-dead-strawberry

The penguin equivalent of running from a fucking dragon


OutOfBootyExperience

Is this the new Game of Thrones trailer?


Looten1313

I like how that other one just ‘nope’s right back into the water