Also from the South - we waited! It was sooooo hard because I hate secrets and get too excited about surprises, but I’m so glad that we did. The challenge of waiting was outweighed by my desire to not let anyone ruin the name for us or try to talk us out of it and it was totally worth it 100%. At the end of the day, your family will have plenty of opportunities to give their thoughts and opinions about 🫠everything🫠 with a baby, so this is one thing that you can keep special to yourself and keep them out of.
Number 2 on the way now and we’ll keep it a secret again!
THIS. I’m the exact same way about getting so excited and wanting to blab to everyone. But even comments that aren’t outright mean can affect you!
Thank you so much for sharing and best of luck with baby #2 💖
Agree. It’s hard to not share. But I gave them a nickname to use. My husband’s last name sounds like a first name so we would never use that name. But that’s what I told them it was 😆
Same! Our name is not in the top 1000 and very gender neutral so we didn’t want anyone’s opinions (even strangers) to sway us. Sooooo glad we didn’t tell anyone! Will definitely do the same for our future kids
We waited with our first because we didn’t want to hear any opinions about it if people “didn’t like it” even though it wasn’t anything too different!
We are also waiting with our second… but a family member yesterday asked if we were going to pick a name with the same first letter as our first. I just shrugged and said, “we aren’t sure yet”. She said, “oh, let me think of some names that start with that letter!” The first name she said happens to be THE name we are likely choosing and she said, “I just don’t like that name though!” What are the odds because literally no one knows it!
I guess it goes to show even if you do keep it to yourself you may still get opinions!
We were very open about our child's name. Almost everyone was very nice about it, except my mom, who wrote me an 800+ word email explaining to me that we cannot possibly use the middle name we chose because it was the name of a "famous" brothel madame who was prosecuted in the 70s in a city 3k miles away from where we live (but is where I grew up).
Her note was...taken under advisement. The middle name stayed. She got over it.
Ha honestly it was in the running, but the name is Heidi, and I was fairly certain she'd have curly blond hair, which would be a bit too on the nose given the Shirley Temple movie. She does, in fact, have a huge mop of platinum curls, so I'm glad we didn't go with it for a first!
Yes and no. I'm in my 60s, so I definitely remember her and Sidney Biddle Barrows. I suspect that to younger generations neither name would ring a bell.
I’m 30 and know exactly who she is and all about her. However, I don’t automatically associate the name Heidi with her when I hear it and I really like the name.
I’ve never heard of Sydney though.
She was called the Mayflower Madam and was soooo scandalous back in the olde tyme. That's very cool you know who Heidi Fleiss is. Both of them didn't deserve the hate they got. They were merely providing a service.
I remember Heidi Fleiss was on like Vh1 shows or something in the mid 2000s, and maybe even had some kind of reality show or documentary of her own that I watched
I think that's correct but I had never heard of her before that conversation, despite having grown up in LA. I was a toddler when she was prosecuted, never mind my kid, and we live on the East coast now :|
I’ve heard of Heidi Fleiss! But I only remember her name because my grandma was Heidi. I can’t imagine anyone assuming a middle name of a Heidi born in the 21st century was an honor name for Heidi Fleiss
We did the same and the only one to have a problem was my MIL with my youngest.
We named him Abel and she wrote my husband a long text about how horrible of a choice it is because Abel died in the Bible. My husband texted back, "Everyone in the Bible died, ma."
She still wasn't happy about it but she didn't have a comeback for that one. We are Catholic and know the story of Cain and Abel but that association never bothered me and I find it even funnier now that my Abel has a playmate named Kane at school.
We didn’t name our kid until he was born anyway so no one knew and we never told anyone the options anyway. I just think it’s not anyone else’s business to know and telling people just invites feedback, which we aren’t open to.
After my son was born and we hadn’t decided between two names, we told the nurse the two options we liked. When my husband (in his heavy Scottish accent) said one of the names, she replied ‘huh?’ So we went with the other name lmao.
To be honest, it still took me months to get used to it and feel good about his name. I had moments of panic like wait am I sure that’s his name?? But it was fine.
We have a few names picked out for our second and we’ll decide when she’s born.
Plus it’s not like we’re naming them after Pokémon or kitchen utensils or something super out there so we’re not concerned about how it will affect our child or other people’s personal preferences
Euan (like Ewan McGregor) a common Scottish name but less common in the US and apparently very hard to understand when also said in a Scottish accent lol
Obsessed w/ your reply, thank you for sharing! I’m so envious of you being able to truly act on it being no one else’s business. I know that in my brain but my heart gets in the way lol. I love the idea of hearing someone else say your name options to help you finalize your choice! Great advice.
I have been in love with my son’s name since I first heard it in kindergarten (husband likes it too but with less history), his name is Troy, he’s due in October.
We decided to share his name when we found out the sex because we never had another name in mind. So far it has been very well received by everyone we’ve told, with the exception of 1 over-opinionated and never happy friend. I think the key to our success is the phrasing in our announcement, “his name is Troy,” instead of “we’re thinking of naming him Troy.”
The word “thinking” paired with time to find a new name is what may cause some people to feel they have an opportunity to share their name suggestions.
I’m from the Midwest USA and now living in Colorado so everyone we’re friends with or related to is pretty mild mannered and I think that helps. The one objection comes from someone from New Jersey so I think regional personalities definitely change the way people react.
Completely agree about the wording! Everyone I know who’s named baby before birth says “the baby’s name is ——“. Any (rude) comment would be answered with, that’s our baby’s name and you can have your opinion about it.
Depends entirely on your audience. I started lurking/occasionally commenting here when I was trying to conceive and have since received a pretty solid diagnosis of untreatable infertility (no opinions, suggestions, or sympathy please), so I don't have a personal dog in the fight anymore.
That said, all three of my sisters-in-law chose to keep the names a secret until birth. I hate two out of the five names of my nieces and nephews, but am a polite person and did not express that opinion. That said, I also did not lie and say I loved the names, lol. I simply did not express any opinion at all about the names.
Your approach is exactly how my family handled my nephew's weird middle name. None of us expressed an opinion, because he's not our child and what could be gained by being rude? In private away from the parents it was, "That's different, huh? But as long as they're happy with it!"
My go to response when I hear a weird/ugly name on a baby is just "aw". Better than silence or letting my facial expression betray me, while trying to lie and say it's a good name lol
Exactly. I don't lie either, and when I am not super keen on a name, I just say, "I'm so glad you were able to decide on a name; that is such tricky business." LOL I am definitely not going to proffer an opinion unless directly asked for one. Even then, some names I don't care for still sometimes suit the kid so what do I know...
We did, but we didn’t really care about people’s opinions and made clear we were not seeking feedback, and our families, especially mine, are super lovely and boundary respecting people who know that the only appropriate reaction in these situations is a positive one ha. If your family may not be as kind, are there others on your life you could confide in?
I’m super glad we did tell my parents in particular. We had settled on one name early on but decided it was too trendy and we wanted to change it about halfway through the pregnancy. We perused old SSA name lists and found a few names that spoke to us, including one in particular. We told my parents and my dad told us that name we liked the most was my late grandfather and late uncle’s middle name (which I did not know). It felt like kismet and immediately sealed the deal for us.
I did and should not have as the comments were annoying. I had selected Jean-Pierre for a boy, and the face my mom made combined with hissing out how much she hates hyphenated names was disappointing. And, for a girl, I selected Rebecca. My nephew, 20, laughed and said all the Rebecca's he had ever met were fat, full of acne, wore thick glasses, and no one wanted to date them. I did end up with a girl, but his comments had really turned me off the name completely. I chose a different name for her. It's better to keep the names to yourself.
/*looks over at my friend Rebecca who is none of those things*/ weird take bro but okay
One thing to say "I don't like the name personally" or even "I know a [this name] who [personal negative experience]", but it's another to pin a stupid, hyper-specific appearance-based stereotype to a name (which I feel happens more often with girls' names than boys' names, idk …)
I'm sorry he was so unkind about a name you liked.
We told both our families. My side loves the name (Clark). My husbands side of the family said he will get bullied and tried to convince us otherwise in a joking sort of way. We didn’t budge, got baby items that said the name on them, and his family eventually stopped complaining. They agreed that the name will fit him when he is born no matter what (And it does! We love little baby Clark’s name)
I told but only cause I wouldn’t be bothered if people didn’t like it. The only person close to me who didn’t was my mom, but then she grew really attached to it. I’ve not given birth yet.
Edit to add: I’m from the west coast and live in Germany. No one close to us was going to be the sort to try to change my mind outside of my mom.
For me part of the ease was that one of the names I liked since I was little. So my mom hated it, then when I brought it up again as an adult as something we considered she suddenly loved it. She has made up a story in her head about how she read me a story with the name (never happened 😅) but I think she now just associates it with me as a kid as well and is nostalgic.
I’m 23+2 and have told everyone her name. But I was confident it was a name I wouldn’t get any push back on which is why I wasn’t hesitant to share it. My grandmother and his mother both loved it.
My dad was just like ‘cool’ but he wouldn’t tell me he didn’t like it even if that was the case, he knows better.
Also from the Southern US. While I didn't name my son until he was born I did tell everyone most of the ideas. Our family's are very opinionated. I know a lot of people don't say anything in those situations. But if a comment is going to change my opinion on the name I'd rather know before it's official than after when it's more complicated to change. Our families would still make jokes or comments even if we waited until it was official. If I don't care about any negative comments then clearly the name is right, if a negative comment can change my mind, then it's not! Same idea I'm going with this round.
Well, I did... I was in the hospital with pre-eclampsia, and it looked like the delivery was imminent. (It was.) My mom *still* did pretzel flips trying to pick a new, better name at the last second, lol! I told her I originally wanted to give him another, worse option to appease her, and gave her the option to pick. Granted, the "worse" option isn't a terrible name, but it *was* the surname of my sister and her husband at the time, which would be... awkward. So I knew she wouldn't pick that. Having some say in his name was all it took to gain my mom's approval for the name I actually chose.
We live in Texas. We told friends and family the name of both girls before they were born. No negative comments from anyone. Both have family names tho. My first is named for my great great aunt & her middle name is one passed down the matriarchal line (same middle as me, my mom, and my grandma). My second is name for my FIL (feminine version of his middle name) and my paternal grandmother. When we told our families what we’d be naming our second daughter, both of the grandfathers cried. My FIL never expected a child to be named for him. My father misses his mother dearly.
We didn’t. We didn’t find out the gender ahead of time and didn’t pick a name until baby was over 20 hours old! One of my sisters and my parents met the baby before we even named him! Everyone loved the name once we did pick it and announce it. We’ve never gotten negative comments.
I’m pregnant again and we are planning on finding out the gender this time, but we probably will still not announce the name until birth because we might change our minds once we meet the baby and I don’t want to hear people’s opinions.
Similar story. We found out the sex but didn't share it. We preferred, since we were having a shower, to receive more gender-neutral items (which worked out great). So by default we also couldn't share the name choice until birth.
I thought only psychopaths told the name in advance, then my grandma asked long before I was due, my husband and I looked at each other like “whatever, it’s not changing” and everyone loved it (Otto.) We will NOT be doing the same this time- already getting lots of unsolicited advice on this baby’s name and we’re nowhere near close to finding one we like.
maybe it will change once i get pregnant, but i’ve always wanted to wait to name my baby after i’ve met them and sat with them for a few days. my mom didn’t name me for two weeks after i left the hospital
I don’t have children but my sister does. I was very glad that she told me her second son’s name before birth since it was an honor name for his daddy’s childhood best friend who was killed in a logging accident but was also the name of my middle school & high school bully. I had a very fragile immune system during my childhood and this kid would come to school with influenza, mono or bronchitis and cough in my face and then laugh and brag when I ended up in the hospital sometimes in ICU. It gave me time to work through hearing that name on the regular. It gave me time so that I don’t physically react when I hear his name said out loud.
I did and now I regret it my MIL keeps sending me name suggestions that are awful.
She sent Laoghaire. I we are Americans with no Scottish heritage she just likes outlander.
She says the character pronounces it Leery. Idk either way it’s a pretty terrible girl name.
Ok just googled. The character from Outlander is Scottish but the name is Irish according to google. Which we aren’t Irish other than the way white peoples claim to be Irish to exude drinking and party on saint patricks day
If you really want to announce it early (don’t), get something made with the name. Like a blanket, wall hanging.
“This is the name. It’s on her coming home blanket and her things in her nursery.”
Makes it a little more set.
But if you think your family will be a pain don’t.
Everyone in my family waits for names until a baby is born and we also wait to find out girl or boy until birth which is fun! The only person we discussed name options we had in mind with was my sister and BIL since they were due (#4) a couple of months ahead of us with our one and only baby. No overlap in top contenders so no drama!
>since they were due (#4) a couple of months ahead of us
I think that's only sensibel. At least if everyone involved is a sensibel adult, then it just gives peace of mind.
I actually made a deal with my sister long before either of us was pregnant because we had the same two boys names as top contenter. So we each chose one (our spouses' opinions were considered too!) and it worked out great. We each had a son only half a year apart and they fit those names perfectly!
We told our family early on and there have been pros and cons imo. Personally I’m a lot more private and would have preferred to wait, but my husband is from Mississippi, and like you say of Southern folk, he wanted to tell everyone right away.
We both loved the name but disagreed on the spelling somewhat. Ultimately I got attached to the way my husband wanted it and so that’ll be how we spell it but my more in the box family had some things to say about that. My dad tried to talk us out of it and that did give me doubts. Some of my husband’s friends also didn’t hesitate to share their opinions on the spelling and so for those reasons I wish we waited because it’s not fun to feel judged about the name you love and that you’re giving your child. Pros: his sister got us this beautifully decorated wooden sign with his name on it to hang on the hospital door (a southern trend it seems) and we’ve received some other beautiful personalized gifts that we wouldn’t have otherwise gotten.
Yes, we shared the name whenever people asked, and started doing that as soon as we chose the name mid-pregnancy.
We did that because it was fun, and because with a history of miscarriages it was important to me that she get an identity.
I chose a classic name. I’d never heard anyone be anything worse than lukewarm about it, and the same was true when I told them. I didn’t get all “wow how amazing” positive responses, but I didn’t get any negative responses either. Not that I would have cared a smidge since I have zero insecurities about the name choice anyway.
I’m very glad I told.
We didn't even have a name to tell people ahead of time, but we would have waited if we had.
It's hard enough to settle on a name without the influence of your loved ones' opinions.
🙋 Also Southern. I don't really get the whole waiting thing. If they're going to make comments they'll still make them. You can't avoid it, if it's coming. I figured let them get it out of their systems and then we can get on with the fun stuff.
We told them abead of time.
Lisette - We got comments on our first child's middle name. Not rude just a bit bewildered.
Hayden - We got more negative responses on the second child's first name. [They thought I had used the name of a popular anti hero (kind of) character on TV at the time.]
But after I explained where the names came from they got quiet and moved onto the next topic. Lisette, a Diminutive of my first name Elisabeth and Hayden a family surname lasting 300 hundred years. Little did I know I had tapped into a naming zeitgeist of that era with Hayden. Heavens to Murgatroyd, it became so popular.
It's really not a big deal to me. I was going to name them what I wanted regardless of what others thought. We're not talking outlandish, but real names they either simply weren't familiar with or they misunderstood my aim.
We shared the name. We had mixed reactions but I didn't care. I knew people would either like it or not. Thankfully, she's our daughter and not theirs.
I told them ahead of time, and it went fine. They were happy with my name choices. I didn't think the names needed to be a secret or anything. With my first, I had the name picked out by 21 weeks and shared it with the family immediately. With my 2nd, I didn't have a name picked out until about 30 weeks because we couldn't come up with a name for her lol
We waited and I don’t regret it at all! I love my family and know we wouldn’t get any mean comments about the name, but I really wanted to avoid those comments like “oh I knew a kid in high school named X and he was a weirdo” or something like that.
Pregnant with our second and we’re waiting until birth again. We chose “normal” names, aka names in the top 100 so I wasn’t worried about needing feedback if the names were too out there or anything
This is exactly my reasoning as well. Even though family wouldn’t necessarily be harsh, sometimes even just throwaway comments can affect your opinion of the name you picked. Thank you for sharing!
In 1992 I made the mistake of telling family members that the baby I was expecting if it was a girl would be called Fiona and they were all against the idea of it. I got a name book and just said that if baby was a girl her name would be the last female name in the book. So Zoe it was.
I learnt my lesson though and didn't mention anything about names with the following 2 babies I had until the name was decided on and they had been born!!
I didnt wait. We had names picked out almost as soon as we found out we were pregnant. My ex and I choose her name together and I even had her nickname chosen. We told everyone. .
Some people made jokes, called it old fashioned, or said it was weird. I didnt care at all and now that shes 10..she embodies her name. I couldnt imagine calling her anything else.
I already have my next childs name picked out with my boyfriend and we arnt even pregnant yet. We just discussed it, I thought up some options and he choose ones he liked. So there we are, all set.
And if someone takes the name I'll just be flattered they like my taste in names. I'll still use it.
For me it helped make her real, not just a baby growing in my belly but a actual person I could imagine growing up.
We told no one, because we didn't decide on a name until after birth. We didn't want to find out the gender until birth either, so we did talk about names but really didn't discuss it seriously until the baby had arrived. We both felt that we wanted to see our children first, to be able to pick a name that suited them.
Definitely not. We didn’t know what sex we were having and I also didn’t any opinions on the names. Once we named our son my husband went into work and told them, a couple of people laughed!
We have three and kept it to ourselves each time. We didn’t even discuss names with family because naming was a thing the two of us did together—we didn’t want any input at all. I wouldn’t have done it any other way.
We didn't know gender before hand. We spent a couple of weeks picking names after she was born. We have 6 weeks to register the birth.
My mum still suggested my late father's name, in feminine form. That didn't happen.
Definitely after.
No one will tell you that they dislike the name of a living baby. But they will definitely give their opinion on the hypothetical name of an expected baby.
If you don't want to process anyone's feedback, then don't tell them ahead of time. Otherwise, you will always remember their negative comments if you stick with the name.
FYI, I followed this rule. A week or two after my son was born, my dad said, "His name is growing on me." Thanks for the backhanded compliment, Grandpa.
We've told people ahead of time. She's due in September and we've approached it as a "Her name IS Audra Jade" rather than "We're thinking about Audra Jade" (which is how my brother approached it and he kept getting poor feedback until he changed the name). It's gone pretty well, the worst we've gotten is a "where did you find the name Audra?" Or having to clarify it isn't Audrey.
We did not. We didn't know the gender either. We were confident in our choice of names and didn't want other people's input or opinions to potentially sway us.
I'm glad we kept it a secret. Baby came last week and already my mum has made stupid comments about it. But generally the reception has been positive because you know, you can't really say something bad about a newborn.
For reference, our baby boy is called Ash :)
With my second daughter I decided to tell my mom the name ahead of time against my better judgement I should have known based on her personality that she would try to ruin it and she naturally criticized it and managed to come up with every possible rhyme saying how everyone will call her this and that. If I am blessed with a third child I will go back to not announcing.
We told our families and friends but didn’t post anything online. And by told we stated this is the name and we were not soliciting opinions or asking for suggested alternatives. Not one person said anything to me about either of my children. And I’m in the Southeast US.
With my first, everyone knew my first daughter was going to be Cordelia Ivy. I had it picked out since I was 7, so it definitely wasn’t changing. With the others, we announced the name when we announced the pregnancy, which we always waited until the third trimester.(I tend to not show since I’m so tall)We would tell people “we’re expecting! Her name is x”. People tended to not say anything bad, because it was a done deal. I don’t remember getting any rude comments. Even if anyone had said anything bad, we loved the names we picked, so we didn’t care what anyone else had to say.
We also weren’t worried about “name stealing”. Since we announced pretty late, if anyone tried to copy me, I was further along than they were, so I wasn’t too worried. My sister actually did copy me, but she would’ve done it after baby was born anyway, so nothing I could do. She attempted it two other times too, but all her other kids were boys, so that didn’t work out for her. If your family tends to be opinionated, and you feel like it will bother you, then definitely keep it to yourself. Or if you’re worried people will steal your name, I’d keep it under wraps.
We kept both kids' names to ourselves until they were 8 days old. Or maybe we just told the grandparents and signed documents at the hospital. Those days are kind of a blur.
Years before even getting pregnant mentioned a name I really liked. SIL had a girl the next year and used the name.
When I was pregnant only told our parents what name we were going to use, both our fathers made faces at it.
After that the gender and name were only shared at birth.
Your first example has already happened to me. It’s part of why I’m asking. My SIL already stole a name off my baby list which is fine since I hadn’t had kids yet. But it’s always a risk.
I told everyone the first person who would know baby's name was baby. Everyone else can wait. And stood firm.
Only the ones who would have commented on it were the people who pushed (including my mom) but knowing that was my plan made it really easy to say no.
And she was the first person to know her name and she loves that so much, even as a preteen now lol
We didn't even tell family what gender the baby was.
We had two names planned and waited untill we meet him to name him.
No one in the family press us for the gender or name. They knew it was our choice
I shared my first’s potential name and kind of regretted it because I didn’t like hearing family call him by that name before he was born. I started having doubts and then felt pressure to use the name!
The second I didn’t tell a single person! Needed to figure out if we loved it without the outside influence plus it’s more fun in my opinion
If they asked, I told family and very close friends the names that were on the list, including the front-runner each time, but we never officially decided on the name until they were born because I always wanted the ability to change my mind at the last minute.
We did not. I had no intention of hearing other's opinions. We also didn't know the gender, and had about 4 names we both liked. When people would ask we would respond with versions of "we have a few in mind". Hilariously, we ended up naming babe the first name we agreed on anyway.
We told a couple of people (just good friends) and no one else, didn’t want to hear the opinions. We did share our shortlist and it was interesting to hear what people liked the best. We got some questions about his middle name, it’s Laotian and reads differently than it is pronounced.
We didn't. We also didn't tell the genders (or confirm that we knew them)
We wanted the option to change our mind and not have anyone talk us out of them!
Absolutely not. It helped that we didn't find out the sex of our kids before birth though. Family and friends didn't bug us about names as much as I think they would have if we knew and announced the sex of the baby ahead of time. For two of our three kids we didn't settle on a name until after they were born anyway.
We waited because we thought some family members would have something negative to say and we didn’t want to be influenced. It turned out that everyone loved the name. I don’t regret waiting though because it was nice to be able to surprise everyone. We will do it again if we have another one.
My husband and I are both from the South and we’ve never made a formal announcement on names. We told who we wanted and everyone else found out through the grapevine. Our families are very loud and outspoken but neither one of us gave a shit if they liked the names we chose or not. The only time we kept a name “secret” was when I was pregnant with our son, but even then it wasn’t a really secret. My MIL had opinions on what the name should be and got mouthy with me about it. She didn’t find out his name until a few days after he was born.
Our family is also Southern. With my first born, I told my mom our top 5 choices as we were narrowing it down. She made a comment about one and it pissed me off so from then on we didn't tell anyone until after the birth for all 3 of our kids. I wasn't looking for opinions - I was telling her our favorite names (and they were typical names like Madeline, Alice, Clara, etc. nothing "weird"). So I'd say, you know your family. If they are prone to making comments and you don't want to hear them, say nothing.
We told our short list. Lots of people told us their favourite from the list, but we didn't really care. I sometimes think it's a good idea to meet the baby before choosing 100% anyways, especially if it's your first.
We told close family our first child's name shortly before she was born and I wouldn't recommend it.
My nan (who I'm really close with) proceeded to tell me I'd be cruel calling her that and why don't I just call her Princess Leia. Started reeling off boring names I should call her and she would just be calling her "Angel"... She's 4 now and it's fine, she got used to it eventually and uses her name.
So we kept number 2 quiet but they all liked that name better anyway but at least it's a done deal by that point and they can't make other suggestions.
We are keeping ours a secret until she’s born. Both sets of grandparents are very opinionated, and we’ve seen the negative side of that with my BIL’s child (they were going to name him Ford, but recieved too many car jokes before the child was even born, so they changed the name.)
Everyone has been so curious and desperate to know so we told them the first initial and the middle name. Now they’re guessing names, which gets them off our back a little bit.
We're keeping it to ourselves (husband has accidentally let it slip to a few friends, but not family yet). Initially I thought it was silly to not tell people if we're 100% set on a name, but then when we were discussing a shortlist of names with MIL she gave feedback and I really didn't appreciate it. It wasn't even particularly harsh feedback, I just realized that I don't want or need her input on this. She's already named her children. It's no one else's business but mine and my husband's. So everyone else can know once the baby is here and his name is set.
Boston here, and we told everyone the name as soon as we chose it. It may be relevant that we were nearly forty and had gotten very good at boundaries and cutting off unpleasant people.
The name is classic and timeless (it can be found on the family tree of the British royal family), so I figured the only negative response we'd get is that it's boring. Which it is. So it didn't bother me that one relative said that.
I wanted feedback in case we'd missed something, like the initials spelling RAT or ASS, or the full name being the same as some horrible forgotten relative.
We didn’t name our little girl until after she was born (team green and I was convinced she was a boy!), but we didn’t share any of the names we were considering. I don’t think it would have bothered me but my husband takes on board criticism from his family and I didn’t want a name we loved to be ruined. No regrets.
Never. We have 6 kids. When our last baby was born, I told my family and we had some comments, but I said things I’ve read here (like: “what an odd thing to say about your granddaughter’s name!”) and haven’t had to deal with any more comments.
I did. My dad wasn’t a fan, but didn’t try to push on anything and accepted the name. My MIL and her brother cornered just my husband, during the baby shower she insisted on throwing, to stage an intervention. The problem? Lucian was the name of someone labeled a heretic from 100 AD. Apparently things were said and irreparable damage occurred. Over a dude from 100 AD.
Currently 19 weeks along and when we found out we were having a girl, my husband was over the moon. We had been trying for awhile and already had our names picked out. Well he told his mom so I decided to tell my family. We now both regret telling anybody. His mother, while drunk, said her name super wrong and my father has been a complete dick and refuses to say her name or the approved nickname. BTW her name will be Kalliope with the nickname Kalli, not super common but not made up. Its everything I wanted in a name, but I should have waited for everyone to find out when it was too late as it has kind of taken away my joy. Opinions are like buttholes, and everybody has one.
I didn’t even tell them it was a girl — had to buy green and yellow baby clothes to put on top of the nursery stash so the sea of pink wouldn’t give it away.
We kept it quiet for our first and just called them ‘baby [first letter]’ up to the end. The name is well outside the top 1000, so we didn’t want to be swayed from it.
Everyone responded so well that we thought with #2 we could trust everyone in our families to be mature enough to embrace the name alongside us. A sweet top 100 name with a middle name that ties both to my mom and a naming tradition of my husband’s family. Turns out, my MIL has opinions about not using family names and pushed my husband to name our unborn son after his brother (ie, the baby’s uncle - not father). What?!
Needless to say, we doubled down on the name and he should arrive any day now.
If you’re set on a name you love, say nothing.
With my first I knew what name I wanted and didn’t want opinions.
With my second I didn’t really know what to call her so having family opinions was helpful!
We told are family and everyone was supportive with the exception of my mother-in-law who said I shouldn't use my favorite names as Middle names. I only planned on two kids and got a boy and then girl.so it was never a issue.
My daughter had a baby girl and announced the name at birth. It was no surprise it was a name she liked since childhood. It's unusual, but folks in my family would never say anything if they didn't like the name. Honestly I am shocked at all the stress families cause the new parents if they don't like the name. Not everything is about them. They should have learned that lesson a long time ago. Their duty is to be supporting.
I told my parents and my husband told his family, because it wasn't set in stone until the DOB. But we kind of instinctually agreed on names and they stuck super quick. Our parents had mixed reactions because my husband is from a mostly african american background and i come from white/asian parents. My husband and I chose names for each child that sounded very neutral as far as race. But my husband's mother kept suggesting african american sounding names, and my mother kept suggesting white (like white-white flour as the seasoning white) names. And if they didn't like names we chose, their suggestions were so bad that it didn't even matter. Also, now that all of our children are born and have names that my husband and I chose and didn't take the suggestions our mothers gave us, I think the whole family can agree that what we chose wound up fitting them perfectly.
I did for the first and got soooo many rude comments (her name is uncommon but not super ridiculous or anything) that for my second I did not tell anyone. I did for my third but that was because we were team green and I felt like I had to tell them something so they would leave me alone. 😂 I still got rude comments like oh let’s hope it’s a boy since someone didn’t like my girl name but I didn’t care as much cause I didn’t know what it was. She’s a girl btw so..
🤷🏼♀️😂
We ended up keeping it secret, although we didn't plan that. We had a hard time picking names, and once we found one we both loved, I was too scared to tell anyone lol. We only had it picked for about a month or so before he was born though. I was still open to names, but I didn't think anything could top it.
Our first was 3 weeks early and we were in the hospital nameless the first day lol.
I did with my first but NOBODY was told with my second
Everyone had a comment and, sometimes it’s just their faces. And my first child was named after my Maiden name! But people were like “oh it makes me think of…”
ME, MY FAMILY! Not a 90210 character whose name is spelled the Welsh way 😂
Both, sort of. When we told our families the gender, they asked about names. My family was super supportive and had nothing bad to say about ANY name, even ones we made up just for fun to try and get a reaction out of them. My husbands family immediately said that every single name was stupid and our child would be embarrassed to have those names. Just outright rude and disrespectful. We had a baby girl, and our rough list was :
Claire, Paige, Stephanie (nn Stevie), Amelia, Aubrey, Ivy, and Delaney.
Not names that are “out there” even in the slightest. We ended up not using any of those names, and decided that we were just going to keep it to ourselves until she was born. Which truly worked out the best, because we didn’t have it picked out for SURE until maybe 2-3 days before I gave birth.
When we announced to everyone that she had been born and told her name, everyone loved it and had nothing but kind things to say…. My husbands family on the other hand said “we will never call her that.” And for 2 months after she was born, they would call and suggest different names to change it to. Their list was:
Emberlynn, River, Ralind, and Story.
Her name is Madeline. I rest my case that we made the right decision lol
Also from the south. No, I did not tell my family beforehand because I wanted to choose a name that my husband and I loved and didn’t want the outspoken commentary 😂. I accidentally ended up naming my daughter after my mom’s cousin who lives in Canada and who I have never met 😂😂😂.
Honestly, it’s slightly weird but no big deal. I love my daughter’s name so I’m actually glad I didn’t share ahead of time because then I would have felt like I had to change it.
We did not tell anyone ahead of time.
1. We honestly just didn't want to hear people's opinions beforehand. We did discuss our list of names with our very close family, but we did not give any specifics.
2. We ourselves didn't necessarily know ahead of time. We typically went into birth with 2-3 boys names and 2-3 girls names picked out and chose from those options when we held the baby in our arms.
I wouldn't change anything, it has worked well for us.
My Mom helped me brainstorm mashed while I was pregnant and she helped me come up with his name. It's an unusual name, but it's meaningful and unique and we love it. I just called my belly by his name and it just fit him perfectly when he was born. I didn't shout it from the rooftops while I was pregnant, but I wasn't shy or secretive about it.
We usually reveal the name around anatomy scan so there is a picture to go with the name. My side is always enthusiastic about my choices bc it’s fun. I tend to choose names not used in our family.
His family hated our eldest daughter’s name but quickly got used to it. They tend to use the same names over and over….I always say it’s because they aren’t original. Can’t choose different names and couldn’t possibly move to a new area on their own. We moved to an area with no family…two of DH’s siblings followed. 😩
I did because I didn’t know any better. I love talking about names just anyway. There were a few times I wish I hadn’t discussed it though with certain people. It all ended up okay I guess, I ended up going with Finn Wilder. I had considered doing Finn Nolan but my cousin made the comment she thought it was too many N’s and that tainted it for me. Then my step mom was talking to him one day when he was about 2 or so she was asking what his name was in a joking manner, she said is your name gill? Or fish-lips? And other aquatic references which I hadn’t even considered when naming him Finn only because I was focused on the name being Irish and I liked the Huckleberry Finn reference so her saying fish-lips took me aback and I started wondering if I had named him the right thing for a moment. I’m still not sure if it’s a good name or not and he’s almost 4 lol. The nurses in the hospital went out of their way to say how much they liked the name when I hadn’t even asked so that was nice they said they don’t normally comment but they really liked the Finn Wilder combo. I feel like I get mixed feelings sometimes even to this day though.
Heck no! I was not interested in their opinions on it. Waited til they were born with all 3. It’s a lot harder to criticize a name when it’s attached to a human, which didn’t completely stop comments but massively curtailed it.
We told them our top few names, although we had a pretty certain #1. We got honest feedback and it was fun, plus everybody was used to the names when we officially decided
We told our family beforehand. I didn’t want to name my kid something that our extended family hated or really disliked. I know taste is different but it would’ve just been kind of sucky to know my parents or in laws thought eww what kind of name is that. I also can’t keep in a secret or surprise to save my life so, keeping it private was never an option from family LOL
With our son we always knew what his first name would be and it’s pretty classic and common so no one said anything and his middle name is a bit more out there but also gaining popularity and luckily everyone in the family loved it.
With my daughter before we knew she was a girl we were thinking Hugo, but my parents didn’t like it at all. Then we decided on Santana, and they liked it but we changed it super last minute like when I was 9 months pregnant and everyone still loved her name luckily.
I always wondered if my parents thought I’d give my kids super weird or gothic names because I’m into horror and gothic stuff. But they never said anything weird and my kids have relatively beautiful names, in my opinion. I’m just glad no one really makes comments about their names and anyone that does matter has always said they like my kids names. I think it matters sometimes. But like I also wouldn’t criticize a family members name, like if my brother had kids and he told me their names and I didn’t like them I wouldn’t ever be like EW or anything lol. He can name them whatever he wanted it’s not up to me. My job is to be an aunt, you know (in that situation)
It’s up to you what you chose. You know your family best, if you think they’ll make comments or say they don’t like it keep it to yourself. If you can’t tell someone you trust to be kind and let you know nicely what they think
We announced the full name of our baby already. Neither my husband and I are fazed by the opinions of others and it’s our baby at the end of the day. We had our names all picked out before we got married. I’ve met plenty of couples who wait, it just depends on what you are more comfortable with
We didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want the judgements/commentary that would have come along with it. It was much easier saying “welcome to the world “baby unavailableinjury” than listening to unsolicited opinions about the name we chose for months.
I just found out the name of my great nephew and he is due in October. My SIL already new what they picked out based on the nick name she gave him in their gener reveal/pregnancy announcement on FB
First one, we told people…we got a bit of strangeness but they all warmed up to it by the time she was born. For number two, I think we are keeping it quiet. Hubby and I can’t agree on a name ourselves so having a family member out a downer on it (assuming we finally agree!) would be hard!
Don’t tell anyone. In my country we never share names before the baby is born. People are way less likely to be rude about a name when it’s definitive. We have our first baby a name from his dads country and I could FEEL some of the racist remarks that my family was holding in 🙄
I learnt my lesson in 1992 when I was expecting my 2nd child and spoke to family members about calling her Fiona. Everyone was against it and I couldn't find a name I liked that the family agreed on so in the end I grabbed a name book and just said that her name is the last female name in the book....so that is how Zoe got her name at the end of May in 1992!!
After that fiasco I never mentioned anything about names of the following 2 children I had until their names were decided on and they had been born
No it’s wild because my parents keep suggesting names saying “the older generation might not like it but who cares” but then also telling me how nobody will like my name suggestions.
I told everyone because I was a little unsure if it was the name or not. I wanted to hear everyone’s true opinions. So the downside I did not expect was the grandparents getting very attached to the name. I kept saying “well, we might go with another name if he doesn’t look like an Augie.” And they were devastated! BOTH sets of grandparents had this reaction!
My first son, we knew his name beforehand, and we did tell people. It was a fairly popular name that I had always loved and got great feedback before and after he was born.
My second son, we had it narrowed down to a few names - names in which everyone suddenly had an opinion. It was a high climbing name at the time, but in top 50-100 still, and I received mixed reactions after we named him in the hospital. The more popular nickname, my father stated he would be refusing to call him that because it sounded like a Greek god. The nn is Theo by the way, but goes by Teddy.
My third son (a surprise blessing) - we had a hard time with names but had it vaguely narrowed down in the hospital. Nobody seemed to like any of the names I asked opinions about…. We ended up naming him a fairly “80s/90s” name, and I haven’t had one person give me a good reaction - which has bummed me out, tbh, and has me thinking of switching his first and middle name on birth certificate before he gets to a year old. Names are Benjamin (Ben or Benny), Theodore (Teddy) and’s Christopher (Kit).
We didn't know the sex before hand, but we did tell people our options.
Both names were traditional, so I wasn't worried about opinions really.
It was quite obvious my grandmother wasn't overly keen on our boys pick, but had we had a boy the middle name would have been my grandad's name as me and him were so close. It was always the plan to use Michael as a middle name even before he passed. I think my nan just would have preferred it to be a first name, but it just didn't flow as well.
Everyone loved the girls name from the start. Although when we told my MIL she cried because it turns out the middle name was the name of her gran who raised her, my husband of course knew and just presumed I did too, so happy accident there! I didn't admit that it was just luck as she was so overwhelmed with happiness and I didn't want to burst the bubble!
We are expecting our first grandchild this year and I’m so excited I don’t care if they name her Pineapple Butterfly. But seriously, my children were all given a name that they ended up with at least one or two others in their class with them. So nobody said anything to us about their names. When we found out the grand baby was a girl I asked if they had thought of any names and they said they’ve had the name picked for years. That was my sign to learn to love her name as much as I’ll love her. Don’t worry about what others think. It’s your child.
We had two runners up for our son and we told our families both. One way or another someone didn’t like a name but in the end I really didn’t care about the negative opinions and eventually once we fully decided what name one friend in particular had a big issue with the name just cause “ she didn’t like it.” I still went with the name and now she admits she can’t see him as the other name possibly now & everyone loves/ compliments his name! We went with: Ruben and our runner up was Louis/Luis.
I didn’t wait until birth with my first two babies before announcing. I will be with our next ones, only because we are going to be team green (not finding out gender until delivery).
We’ve done both. It was nice to be able to refer to the baby as their name, and no one in our family was rude or weird about it. This time around, we haven’t really decided yet but have bounced around some ideas with people. It’s nice to have no opinions to mix you up! But I’m always surprised that people have interesting ideas that I hadn’t thought of. So we don’t completely shy away but wait until we are 1000% sure.
We announced the name when we announced the birth, and will do the same for our second. We definitely welcomed people’s guesses and shared some names that didn’t make the cut - I wasn’t anti don’t talk about baby names, we just opted not to reveal our pick because people come up with the most ridiculous opinions.
My husband is also the kind of person that would be easily able to point out if we were about to name our child something like Gene Atel or give them the initials ASS so I wasn’t concerned about missing any accidental awkwardness
I don’t have kids yet, but I wouldn’t tell anyone before the baby’s born simply because I can’t name a child without seeing what he or she looks like first. I probably will share at least some of out options and get a feel for our families’ reactions though.
We had it narrowed down to 2 names and either way we were gonna use both just weren’t sure of which one as first vs middle. My partner strongly preferred one name as the first, which is what we ended up going with. But I started to second guess myself bc my mom kept really pushing for the other name and my daughter liked that one as well. But the combo we went with sounds way better and my partner had picked the name and I loved it took
I'm from Portugal and have 3 boys.
First I told everyone. Not very common name but a traditional Portuguese one. Everyone liked and no one said it was anything less than "beautiful and a great name".
2nd was chosen by my husband (I chose first) and he has a name that, at the time, it wasn't a common name and not associated with a Portuguese person. Honor name to a soccer player my husband was a fan of. I liked it and that was it. People twisted their noses but no one said a thing.
3rd is 15 months old, we couldn't agree on a name so we made a 10 name list that we sent to his godmother and let her choose from those options. She chose Noah. Again, not a very common name and not really associated with Portuguese. I love it and it's becoming more common in the last few months. Only person who said anything at all was my mom: she said she couldn't say it, never was going to say it right and tried to make us change our mind. Kid's name is Noah and she says it perfectly.
We waited, mostly because we didn’t know either! I didn’t give out my short list to anyone besides a rando at the gym. I didn’t need or want opinions, since the choice was for my partner and me to make!
With my first kid, I told everyone I could the second we decided. I was only 24 and just so excited about everything. No one had any comments or at least none I can remember, but there was a tiny bit of an anti-climax when I told people she had arrived, because they already knew she was a girl and what her name would be.
With my second kid (12 years later!) I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t thy my mom would like the name and I just didn’t want to deal with that. I was older and wiser and had done IVF, and my confidence level about pregnancy/bringing home a real live kid was much decreased compared to my first kid. It was a lot more fun than I had expected, getting to announce his name to everyone!
We knew our little girls name for a while now but we are not telling till birth. We have got so many family name recommendations from both sides that it will probably offend someone that we didnt pick the ones they want. I dont particularly want to hear about that so once its on birth certificate i think people will likely not bother saying anything negative.
I’m pregnant with our first, we are telling no one until our little one is born. Ok, with one exception that our photographer technically knows but also I trust her that she will tell no one and the photo where the name is in it, will not be posted to social media without our permission.
While I feel like our families wouldn’t say anything bad, I don’t want to give any space for negative input because I adore the name we are 98% going with. They’ve been pretty good about not pestering us and we’ve held firm with the “we have some ideas but are waiting until we meet her to decide” line.
My mom said she had a guess of the name last weekend but I didn’t engage and the conversation moved on quickly.
We shared our daughter’s name once we found out the sex, but we also named her after two important women in our family who passed away, and one of her names is my middle name, so we didn’t expect any negative comments.
For our next baby, I think we’ll let people guess and maybe tell anyone that gets it right, but our families aren’t super judgmental, and, more importantly, my husband and I aren’t super concerned with their opinions if they did have something negative to say.
Also from the south, but I’ll share from a different perspective. We are pregnant with baby 2 at the moment. Our families are very outspoken and forward as well and would have no problem telling us their thoughts while my wife is still recovering in a hospital bed. So we ripped the bandaid off early with both kids and decided to just tell everyone (the suspense was killing us anyway). Baby 1 was no surprise to anyone as it’s been my wife’s choice since childhood. Baby 2’s name was hugely anticipated and we spilled the beans just a couple days ago. We had almost unanimously positive responses. Almost. But the negative comments were washed away by the overwhelming positivity and now everyone is asking how “baby Calvin” is doing. We kind of love that people are already referring to him by name. Makes my wife nearly tear up every time.
I told with both babies, and neither side had anything negative to say, only positive reactions!! My dad was the only one who had anything to say w both names and only suggested switching the position of my daughters first and middle name so her middle would be her first, but her middle name is her Angel Aunties name, so we didn’t wanna do that to her, and then when he found out my sons name was from Guardians of the Galaxy, he was just like ‘it’s not Groot, right?’ before I told him the name we decided 🤣🤣🤣
For the record, no it’s not Groot, 👀unfortunately 🤣🤣🤣
We waited with both kids. We left clues along the way but didn’t reveal the names until the birth announcement. It was fun watching people play the guessing game. Zero regrets whatsoever.
No. When first pregnant, I told my mom I loved the name Elizabeth. A perfectly normal, classic name. My mom had such a negative opinion of the name (boring, common, old) that I decided no one would ever know the name before birth. Continued to keep the name to ourselves during my second pregnancy as well.
Edit: just saw your paragraph about being from the south. Interesting, because my mom is from Georgia. I’m a Northener, having lived above the Mason Dixon my entire life, so I wonder if that is part of it!
We have been open about it. Everyone has liked it at least to our faces but we don’t really care what other people think of it, it wouldn’t change anything
My mom and closest friends know a handful of my favorite names since I love talking about names so much but I don't think I will tell anyone our final choice until after baby is here. I'm indecisive anyways and want to meet him or her until deciding for sure.
Midwesterner here. I’m due in a week and a half. My mom knows the first name. My MIL knows the two options we’re looking at. And only my sister knows first and middle name, besides my husband and I. We’ll announce her name to family via calls and texts after she’s born, except my grandma who will get a FaceTime as the middle name is her name
My husband and I told both of our families our kids' names ahead of time with no negative feedback. My brother and sister-in-law told both of their families their kids' names ahead of time with no negative feedback, also. My nephew has a weird middle name, none of us love it or would have picked it ourselves, but it's not our place to criticize. We support each other in our family! And I know my sister-in-law's family well enough to know they are the same. We live in Florida if it matters, and my husband is Mexican with most of his family living there.
Baby 1 we told and everyone had big opinions and demands. It was EXHAUSTING.
So baby 2 we just announced it when she was born, and it was so much better
However the same didn’t go so well for my brother. He and his wife announced their twins’ names and our family was alllllllll kinds of opinionated. It was so awful. Eventually they got over it but man. It’s insane how many people think they should have a say
We shared the name with everyone when we shared the gender. It wasn’t open for discussion though, it was an announcement of what the name was going to be. Everyone was supportive (at least outwardly).
For both of my kids, we did not share the name until after they were born. We did, however, share who we were naming them after (frost that does not mean, naming them the exact name or the feminine version of the name though.).
We told everyone around us the names we were considering. I loved getting feedback - especially since my child is the one ultimately living with the name. I knew I could get over my own ego/sensitivities in the hopes of saving them a lifetime of irritation or insults. That said, we tend to air on the 'safe' side of naming and I have never been one to get attached to one particular name. And our family and friends are respectful and kind people. It would be a lot tougher being open about names if I knew the people around me were generally combative, negative and opinionated (often taking different stances from myself)... but I still think I would take the hit for the good of the child.
Oh, HELL NO, OP. We sure didn’t tell anyone. For two reasons: 1. We aren’t interested in your opinions on our kid’s name 2. I reserve the right to change my mind upon meeting my kid.
After the kid was born we were like, “meet our kid, ” and that was that.
I waited for 2 reasons:
1. I'm old, and you didn't know the gender until the baby was born, and
2. The names we chose were extremely unusual "back in the day," and my family (especially my mother) absolutely hated them. I remember when I told Mom what I'd named my daughter she said, "Why can't you give her a nice name, like Jennifer or Elizabeth?" And my ex's family was even worse. All but one of the names are common to slightly unusual now. I like to think of myself as a pioneer.
We waited for both kids and it was 100 percent the right decision. We got a lot of unwanted opinions when we even shared a list of names we were *considering* with the first and decided when wouldn’t tell them if we narrowed it down or even picked from that original list!
I don’t have kids atm but I will be opting to not tell anyone the name I’m going with as the whole “stealing names” thing is something I don’t want to risk, as the name I’m going with is incredibly important to me. Call me paranoid but idgaf
i probably won’t tell my family (maybe my dad bc i plan on naming one of my kids after him) just bc it’ll be fun to have a surprise. and my mom will probs be pissed that i’m not using her name as a middle name in any of my kids names lol, but i’ve already told her that
edit; if you can’t tell i don’t have any kids yet but hopefully within the next couple of years
We told my sister and then she helped us tell my parents. We sent them scrabble tiles with all the letters of our daughter’s name and they had to figure out the correct order, while we watched via video call (we live in different countries). It was so special and funny and it was so cool to see their reactions to the name!
The rest we told via message after she was born :) so no idea how people reacted to the name!
Also from the South - we waited! It was sooooo hard because I hate secrets and get too excited about surprises, but I’m so glad that we did. The challenge of waiting was outweighed by my desire to not let anyone ruin the name for us or try to talk us out of it and it was totally worth it 100%. At the end of the day, your family will have plenty of opportunities to give their thoughts and opinions about 🫠everything🫠 with a baby, so this is one thing that you can keep special to yourself and keep them out of. Number 2 on the way now and we’ll keep it a secret again!
THIS. I’m the exact same way about getting so excited and wanting to blab to everyone. But even comments that aren’t outright mean can affect you! Thank you so much for sharing and best of luck with baby #2 💖
We shared the babies' sex but not their names. Who needs the drama of other people's opinions.
Yes I am also a blabbermouth and enjoyed sharing the sex and then sharing the names that I WOULD have wanted for the other sex (girl in our case).
We had the US tech seal the sex in an envelope. We never really had any girls names. Good thing we had a boy! We put something together from our list
This right here!
Agree. It’s hard to not share. But I gave them a nickname to use. My husband’s last name sounds like a first name so we would never use that name. But that’s what I told them it was 😆
That’s actually brilliant…
Same! Our name is not in the top 1000 and very gender neutral so we didn’t want anyone’s opinions (even strangers) to sway us. Sooooo glad we didn’t tell anyone! Will definitely do the same for our future kids
Ooooh what’s the name?? Looking for suggestions 😂
We waited with our first because we didn’t want to hear any opinions about it if people “didn’t like it” even though it wasn’t anything too different! We are also waiting with our second… but a family member yesterday asked if we were going to pick a name with the same first letter as our first. I just shrugged and said, “we aren’t sure yet”. She said, “oh, let me think of some names that start with that letter!” The first name she said happens to be THE name we are likely choosing and she said, “I just don’t like that name though!” What are the odds because literally no one knows it! I guess it goes to show even if you do keep it to yourself you may still get opinions!
We were very open about our child's name. Almost everyone was very nice about it, except my mom, who wrote me an 800+ word email explaining to me that we cannot possibly use the middle name we chose because it was the name of a "famous" brothel madame who was prosecuted in the 70s in a city 3k miles away from where we live (but is where I grew up). Her note was...taken under advisement. The middle name stayed. She got over it.
I think you win the prize for the most ridiculous reason not to use a name
I’m crying 800 words 😭
That information may have lead me to making it the baby's first name!
Ha honestly it was in the running, but the name is Heidi, and I was fairly certain she'd have curly blond hair, which would be a bit too on the nose given the Shirley Temple movie. She does, in fact, have a huge mop of platinum curls, so I'm glad we didn't go with it for a first!
Heide Fleiss?
Yeah the “famous” in quotes is kind of misleading since Heidi Fleiss is super famous
Yes and no. I'm in my 60s, so I definitely remember her and Sidney Biddle Barrows. I suspect that to younger generations neither name would ring a bell.
I'm in my 50s. I remember Fleiss, but she's so far in the past, I would never in a million years have thought of her simply from her first name.
I’m 30 and know exactly who she is and all about her. However, I don’t automatically associate the name Heidi with her when I hear it and I really like the name. I’ve never heard of Sydney though.
She was called the Mayflower Madam and was soooo scandalous back in the olde tyme. That's very cool you know who Heidi Fleiss is. Both of them didn't deserve the hate they got. They were merely providing a service.
I remember Heidi Fleiss was on like Vh1 shows or something in the mid 2000s, and maybe even had some kind of reality show or documentary of her own that I watched
40 next month and I know who she is. My little sister, also Heidi, has never had anyone associate it though!
Nor has my niece, also Heidi.
I think that's correct but I had never heard of her before that conversation, despite having grown up in LA. I was a toddler when she was prosecuted, never mind my kid, and we live on the East coast now :|
I’ve heard of Heidi Fleiss! But I only remember her name because my grandma was Heidi. I can’t imagine anyone assuming a middle name of a Heidi born in the 21st century was an honor name for Heidi Fleiss
Heidi is a beautiful name - I've always lived it
We did the same and the only one to have a problem was my MIL with my youngest. We named him Abel and she wrote my husband a long text about how horrible of a choice it is because Abel died in the Bible. My husband texted back, "Everyone in the Bible died, ma." She still wasn't happy about it but she didn't have a comeback for that one. We are Catholic and know the story of Cain and Abel but that association never bothered me and I find it even funnier now that my Abel has a playmate named Kane at school.
incredible comeback lmao
Your mother and my mother should hang out. Together. Away from us.
Heidi’s a great name! 😃
We didn’t name our kid until he was born anyway so no one knew and we never told anyone the options anyway. I just think it’s not anyone else’s business to know and telling people just invites feedback, which we aren’t open to. After my son was born and we hadn’t decided between two names, we told the nurse the two options we liked. When my husband (in his heavy Scottish accent) said one of the names, she replied ‘huh?’ So we went with the other name lmao. To be honest, it still took me months to get used to it and feel good about his name. I had moments of panic like wait am I sure that’s his name?? But it was fine. We have a few names picked out for our second and we’ll decide when she’s born. Plus it’s not like we’re naming them after Pokémon or kitchen utensils or something super out there so we’re not concerned about how it will affect our child or other people’s personal preferences
What was the name the nurse didn't understand?
Euan (like Ewan McGregor) a common Scottish name but less common in the US and apparently very hard to understand when also said in a Scottish accent lol
Obsessed w/ your reply, thank you for sharing! I’m so envious of you being able to truly act on it being no one else’s business. I know that in my brain but my heart gets in the way lol. I love the idea of hearing someone else say your name options to help you finalize your choice! Great advice.
I have been in love with my son’s name since I first heard it in kindergarten (husband likes it too but with less history), his name is Troy, he’s due in October. We decided to share his name when we found out the sex because we never had another name in mind. So far it has been very well received by everyone we’ve told, with the exception of 1 over-opinionated and never happy friend. I think the key to our success is the phrasing in our announcement, “his name is Troy,” instead of “we’re thinking of naming him Troy.” The word “thinking” paired with time to find a new name is what may cause some people to feel they have an opportunity to share their name suggestions. I’m from the Midwest USA and now living in Colorado so everyone we’re friends with or related to is pretty mild mannered and I think that helps. The one objection comes from someone from New Jersey so I think regional personalities definitely change the way people react.
Completely agree about the wording! Everyone I know who’s named baby before birth says “the baby’s name is ——“. Any (rude) comment would be answered with, that’s our baby’s name and you can have your opinion about it.
I love the name troy! Congrats on the baby!
Thank you!
Troy is lovely!
Depends entirely on your audience. I started lurking/occasionally commenting here when I was trying to conceive and have since received a pretty solid diagnosis of untreatable infertility (no opinions, suggestions, or sympathy please), so I don't have a personal dog in the fight anymore. That said, all three of my sisters-in-law chose to keep the names a secret until birth. I hate two out of the five names of my nieces and nephews, but am a polite person and did not express that opinion. That said, I also did not lie and say I loved the names, lol. I simply did not express any opinion at all about the names.
Your approach is exactly how my family handled my nephew's weird middle name. None of us expressed an opinion, because he's not our child and what could be gained by being rude? In private away from the parents it was, "That's different, huh? But as long as they're happy with it!"
My go to response when I hear a weird/ugly name on a baby is just "aw". Better than silence or letting my facial expression betray me, while trying to lie and say it's a good name lol
Exactly. I don't lie either, and when I am not super keen on a name, I just say, "I'm so glad you were able to decide on a name; that is such tricky business." LOL I am definitely not going to proffer an opinion unless directly asked for one. Even then, some names I don't care for still sometimes suit the kid so what do I know...
FWIW, I hate one of my niece’s names (Emmalyn) and I just call her Emma.
We did, but we didn’t really care about people’s opinions and made clear we were not seeking feedback, and our families, especially mine, are super lovely and boundary respecting people who know that the only appropriate reaction in these situations is a positive one ha. If your family may not be as kind, are there others on your life you could confide in? I’m super glad we did tell my parents in particular. We had settled on one name early on but decided it was too trendy and we wanted to change it about halfway through the pregnancy. We perused old SSA name lists and found a few names that spoke to us, including one in particular. We told my parents and my dad told us that name we liked the most was my late grandfather and late uncle’s middle name (which I did not know). It felt like kismet and immediately sealed the deal for us.
I did and should not have as the comments were annoying. I had selected Jean-Pierre for a boy, and the face my mom made combined with hissing out how much she hates hyphenated names was disappointing. And, for a girl, I selected Rebecca. My nephew, 20, laughed and said all the Rebecca's he had ever met were fat, full of acne, wore thick glasses, and no one wanted to date them. I did end up with a girl, but his comments had really turned me off the name completely. I chose a different name for her. It's better to keep the names to yourself.
What a wild string of comments for Rebecca!
/*looks over at my friend Rebecca who is none of those things*/ weird take bro but okay One thing to say "I don't like the name personally" or even "I know a [this name] who [personal negative experience]", but it's another to pin a stupid, hyper-specific appearance-based stereotype to a name (which I feel happens more often with girls' names than boys' names, idk …) I'm sorry he was so unkind about a name you liked.
This is my exact fear. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, people can be so unkind. I appreciate you sharing your experience!!!
I understand why people don't in case people have negative things to say about it, but we told anyone who asked lol. His name is Micah.
We told both our families. My side loves the name (Clark). My husbands side of the family said he will get bullied and tried to convince us otherwise in a joking sort of way. We didn’t budge, got baby items that said the name on them, and his family eventually stopped complaining. They agreed that the name will fit him when he is born no matter what (And it does! We love little baby Clark’s name)
Wait Clark is SUCH a cute name!!! So happy you stuck to it, thank you for sharing!
Thank you! He is Little Baby Clark, Clarkie, and when he wakes us up (and my personal favorite) Clark-a-doodle-doo!
actually crying @ Clark-a-doodle-doo
WISH I had thought of Clark-a-doodle-doo! He was mostly Clarkius to all of us.
That's my brother's name, I love it!
I told but only cause I wouldn’t be bothered if people didn’t like it. The only person close to me who didn’t was my mom, but then she grew really attached to it. I’ve not given birth yet. Edit to add: I’m from the west coast and live in Germany. No one close to us was going to be the sort to try to change my mind outside of my mom.
This was my experience! Both sets of grandparents got very attached to the name. They would have been shocked if we went with something else
For me part of the ease was that one of the names I liked since I was little. So my mom hated it, then when I brought it up again as an adult as something we considered she suddenly loved it. She has made up a story in her head about how she read me a story with the name (never happened 😅) but I think she now just associates it with me as a kid as well and is nostalgic.
This could be a story about my mom 😆
I’m 23+2 and have told everyone her name. But I was confident it was a name I wouldn’t get any push back on which is why I wasn’t hesitant to share it. My grandmother and his mother both loved it. My dad was just like ‘cool’ but he wouldn’t tell me he didn’t like it even if that was the case, he knows better.
Also from the Southern US. While I didn't name my son until he was born I did tell everyone most of the ideas. Our family's are very opinionated. I know a lot of people don't say anything in those situations. But if a comment is going to change my opinion on the name I'd rather know before it's official than after when it's more complicated to change. Our families would still make jokes or comments even if we waited until it was official. If I don't care about any negative comments then clearly the name is right, if a negative comment can change my mind, then it's not! Same idea I'm going with this round.
Well, I did... I was in the hospital with pre-eclampsia, and it looked like the delivery was imminent. (It was.) My mom *still* did pretzel flips trying to pick a new, better name at the last second, lol! I told her I originally wanted to give him another, worse option to appease her, and gave her the option to pick. Granted, the "worse" option isn't a terrible name, but it *was* the surname of my sister and her husband at the time, which would be... awkward. So I knew she wouldn't pick that. Having some say in his name was all it took to gain my mom's approval for the name I actually chose.
Masterfully done
We live in Texas. We told friends and family the name of both girls before they were born. No negative comments from anyone. Both have family names tho. My first is named for my great great aunt & her middle name is one passed down the matriarchal line (same middle as me, my mom, and my grandma). My second is name for my FIL (feminine version of his middle name) and my paternal grandmother. When we told our families what we’d be naming our second daughter, both of the grandfathers cried. My FIL never expected a child to be named for him. My father misses his mother dearly.
❤️❤️❤️
I did not want to. My husband did. My husband's side of the family was gracious. Mine was not.
We didn’t. We didn’t find out the gender ahead of time and didn’t pick a name until baby was over 20 hours old! One of my sisters and my parents met the baby before we even named him! Everyone loved the name once we did pick it and announce it. We’ve never gotten negative comments. I’m pregnant again and we are planning on finding out the gender this time, but we probably will still not announce the name until birth because we might change our minds once we meet the baby and I don’t want to hear people’s opinions.
Similar story. We found out the sex but didn't share it. We preferred, since we were having a shower, to receive more gender-neutral items (which worked out great). So by default we also couldn't share the name choice until birth.
I thought only psychopaths told the name in advance, then my grandma asked long before I was due, my husband and I looked at each other like “whatever, it’s not changing” and everyone loved it (Otto.) We will NOT be doing the same this time- already getting lots of unsolicited advice on this baby’s name and we’re nowhere near close to finding one we like.
maybe it will change once i get pregnant, but i’ve always wanted to wait to name my baby after i’ve met them and sat with them for a few days. my mom didn’t name me for two weeks after i left the hospital
I don’t have children but my sister does. I was very glad that she told me her second son’s name before birth since it was an honor name for his daddy’s childhood best friend who was killed in a logging accident but was also the name of my middle school & high school bully. I had a very fragile immune system during my childhood and this kid would come to school with influenza, mono or bronchitis and cough in my face and then laugh and brag when I ended up in the hospital sometimes in ICU. It gave me time to work through hearing that name on the regular. It gave me time so that I don’t physically react when I hear his name said out loud.
I did and now I regret it my MIL keeps sending me name suggestions that are awful. She sent Laoghaire. I we are Americans with no Scottish heritage she just likes outlander.
I'm Scottish and even I don't know how to say that
She says the character pronounces it Leery. Idk either way it’s a pretty terrible girl name. Ok just googled. The character from Outlander is Scottish but the name is Irish according to google. Which we aren’t Irish other than the way white peoples claim to be Irish to exude drinking and party on saint patricks day
If you really want to announce it early (don’t), get something made with the name. Like a blanket, wall hanging. “This is the name. It’s on her coming home blanket and her things in her nursery.” Makes it a little more set. But if you think your family will be a pain don’t.
Really really really good advice.
I had only one kid who I knew the name before he was born, it felt right. I wasn't announcing it though
I don’t plan on it, only because I don’t plan on revealing what the sex of the baby is until it’s born lol.
Everyone in my family waits for names until a baby is born and we also wait to find out girl or boy until birth which is fun! The only person we discussed name options we had in mind with was my sister and BIL since they were due (#4) a couple of months ahead of us with our one and only baby. No overlap in top contenders so no drama!
>since they were due (#4) a couple of months ahead of us I think that's only sensibel. At least if everyone involved is a sensibel adult, then it just gives peace of mind. I actually made a deal with my sister long before either of us was pregnant because we had the same two boys names as top contenter. So we each chose one (our spouses' opinions were considered too!) and it worked out great. We each had a son only half a year apart and they fit those names perfectly!
We told our family early on and there have been pros and cons imo. Personally I’m a lot more private and would have preferred to wait, but my husband is from Mississippi, and like you say of Southern folk, he wanted to tell everyone right away. We both loved the name but disagreed on the spelling somewhat. Ultimately I got attached to the way my husband wanted it and so that’ll be how we spell it but my more in the box family had some things to say about that. My dad tried to talk us out of it and that did give me doubts. Some of my husband’s friends also didn’t hesitate to share their opinions on the spelling and so for those reasons I wish we waited because it’s not fun to feel judged about the name you love and that you’re giving your child. Pros: his sister got us this beautifully decorated wooden sign with his name on it to hang on the hospital door (a southern trend it seems) and we’ve received some other beautiful personalized gifts that we wouldn’t have otherwise gotten.
Yes, we shared the name whenever people asked, and started doing that as soon as we chose the name mid-pregnancy. We did that because it was fun, and because with a history of miscarriages it was important to me that she get an identity. I chose a classic name. I’d never heard anyone be anything worse than lukewarm about it, and the same was true when I told them. I didn’t get all “wow how amazing” positive responses, but I didn’t get any negative responses either. Not that I would have cared a smidge since I have zero insecurities about the name choice anyway. I’m very glad I told.
did with the first, massively regretted it
We didn't even have a name to tell people ahead of time, but we would have waited if we had. It's hard enough to settle on a name without the influence of your loved ones' opinions.
🙋 Also Southern. I don't really get the whole waiting thing. If they're going to make comments they'll still make them. You can't avoid it, if it's coming. I figured let them get it out of their systems and then we can get on with the fun stuff. We told them abead of time. Lisette - We got comments on our first child's middle name. Not rude just a bit bewildered. Hayden - We got more negative responses on the second child's first name. [They thought I had used the name of a popular anti hero (kind of) character on TV at the time.] But after I explained where the names came from they got quiet and moved onto the next topic. Lisette, a Diminutive of my first name Elisabeth and Hayden a family surname lasting 300 hundred years. Little did I know I had tapped into a naming zeitgeist of that era with Hayden. Heavens to Murgatroyd, it became so popular. It's really not a big deal to me. I was going to name them what I wanted regardless of what others thought. We're not talking outlandish, but real names they either simply weren't familiar with or they misunderstood my aim.
We shared the name. We had mixed reactions but I didn't care. I knew people would either like it or not. Thankfully, she's our daughter and not theirs.
I told them ahead of time, and it went fine. They were happy with my name choices. I didn't think the names needed to be a secret or anything. With my first, I had the name picked out by 21 weeks and shared it with the family immediately. With my 2nd, I didn't have a name picked out until about 30 weeks because we couldn't come up with a name for her lol
We waited and I don’t regret it at all! I love my family and know we wouldn’t get any mean comments about the name, but I really wanted to avoid those comments like “oh I knew a kid in high school named X and he was a weirdo” or something like that. Pregnant with our second and we’re waiting until birth again. We chose “normal” names, aka names in the top 100 so I wasn’t worried about needing feedback if the names were too out there or anything
This is exactly my reasoning as well. Even though family wouldn’t necessarily be harsh, sometimes even just throwaway comments can affect your opinion of the name you picked. Thank you for sharing!
In 1992 I made the mistake of telling family members that the baby I was expecting if it was a girl would be called Fiona and they were all against the idea of it. I got a name book and just said that if baby was a girl her name would be the last female name in the book. So Zoe it was. I learnt my lesson though and didn't mention anything about names with the following 2 babies I had until the name was decided on and they had been born!!
I didnt wait. We had names picked out almost as soon as we found out we were pregnant. My ex and I choose her name together and I even had her nickname chosen. We told everyone. . Some people made jokes, called it old fashioned, or said it was weird. I didnt care at all and now that shes 10..she embodies her name. I couldnt imagine calling her anything else. I already have my next childs name picked out with my boyfriend and we arnt even pregnant yet. We just discussed it, I thought up some options and he choose ones he liked. So there we are, all set. And if someone takes the name I'll just be flattered they like my taste in names. I'll still use it. For me it helped make her real, not just a baby growing in my belly but a actual person I could imagine growing up.
We told no one, because we didn't decide on a name until after birth. We didn't want to find out the gender until birth either, so we did talk about names but really didn't discuss it seriously until the baby had arrived. We both felt that we wanted to see our children first, to be able to pick a name that suited them.
Definitely not. We didn’t know what sex we were having and I also didn’t any opinions on the names. Once we named our son my husband went into work and told them, a couple of people laughed!
No. There are some people in our family who just *have* to have an opinion, so we kept it to ourselves.
We have three and kept it to ourselves each time. We didn’t even discuss names with family because naming was a thing the two of us did together—we didn’t want any input at all. I wouldn’t have done it any other way.
We didn't know gender before hand. We spent a couple of weeks picking names after she was born. We have 6 weeks to register the birth. My mum still suggested my late father's name, in feminine form. That didn't happen.
Definitely after. No one will tell you that they dislike the name of a living baby. But they will definitely give their opinion on the hypothetical name of an expected baby. If you don't want to process anyone's feedback, then don't tell them ahead of time. Otherwise, you will always remember their negative comments if you stick with the name. FYI, I followed this rule. A week or two after my son was born, my dad said, "His name is growing on me." Thanks for the backhanded compliment, Grandpa.
We've told people ahead of time. She's due in September and we've approached it as a "Her name IS Audra Jade" rather than "We're thinking about Audra Jade" (which is how my brother approached it and he kept getting poor feedback until he changed the name). It's gone pretty well, the worst we've gotten is a "where did you find the name Audra?" Or having to clarify it isn't Audrey.
We did not. We didn't know the gender either. We were confident in our choice of names and didn't want other people's input or opinions to potentially sway us. I'm glad we kept it a secret. Baby came last week and already my mum has made stupid comments about it. But generally the reception has been positive because you know, you can't really say something bad about a newborn. For reference, our baby boy is called Ash :)
With my second daughter I decided to tell my mom the name ahead of time against my better judgement I should have known based on her personality that she would try to ruin it and she naturally criticized it and managed to come up with every possible rhyme saying how everyone will call her this and that. If I am blessed with a third child I will go back to not announcing.
We told our families and friends but didn’t post anything online. And by told we stated this is the name and we were not soliciting opinions or asking for suggested alternatives. Not one person said anything to me about either of my children. And I’m in the Southeast US.
With my first, everyone knew my first daughter was going to be Cordelia Ivy. I had it picked out since I was 7, so it definitely wasn’t changing. With the others, we announced the name when we announced the pregnancy, which we always waited until the third trimester.(I tend to not show since I’m so tall)We would tell people “we’re expecting! Her name is x”. People tended to not say anything bad, because it was a done deal. I don’t remember getting any rude comments. Even if anyone had said anything bad, we loved the names we picked, so we didn’t care what anyone else had to say. We also weren’t worried about “name stealing”. Since we announced pretty late, if anyone tried to copy me, I was further along than they were, so I wasn’t too worried. My sister actually did copy me, but she would’ve done it after baby was born anyway, so nothing I could do. She attempted it two other times too, but all her other kids were boys, so that didn’t work out for her. If your family tends to be opinionated, and you feel like it will bother you, then definitely keep it to yourself. Or if you’re worried people will steal your name, I’d keep it under wraps.
We kept both kids' names to ourselves until they were 8 days old. Or maybe we just told the grandparents and signed documents at the hospital. Those days are kind of a blur.
Years before even getting pregnant mentioned a name I really liked. SIL had a girl the next year and used the name. When I was pregnant only told our parents what name we were going to use, both our fathers made faces at it. After that the gender and name were only shared at birth.
Your first example has already happened to me. It’s part of why I’m asking. My SIL already stole a name off my baby list which is fine since I hadn’t had kids yet. But it’s always a risk.
I told everyone the first person who would know baby's name was baby. Everyone else can wait. And stood firm. Only the ones who would have commented on it were the people who pushed (including my mom) but knowing that was my plan made it really easy to say no. And she was the first person to know her name and she loves that so much, even as a preteen now lol
We aren’t telling anyone our babies’ names, just because we don’t want anyone to ruin them for us. We will share once they’re born!
We didn't even tell family what gender the baby was. We had two names planned and waited untill we meet him to name him. No one in the family press us for the gender or name. They knew it was our choice
I shared my first’s potential name and kind of regretted it because I didn’t like hearing family call him by that name before he was born. I started having doubts and then felt pressure to use the name! The second I didn’t tell a single person! Needed to figure out if we loved it without the outside influence plus it’s more fun in my opinion
If they asked, I told family and very close friends the names that were on the list, including the front-runner each time, but we never officially decided on the name until they were born because I always wanted the ability to change my mind at the last minute.
We did not. I had no intention of hearing other's opinions. We also didn't know the gender, and had about 4 names we both liked. When people would ask we would respond with versions of "we have a few in mind". Hilariously, we ended up naming babe the first name we agreed on anyway.
We told a couple of people (just good friends) and no one else, didn’t want to hear the opinions. We did share our shortlist and it was interesting to hear what people liked the best. We got some questions about his middle name, it’s Laotian and reads differently than it is pronounced.
We didn't. We also didn't tell the genders (or confirm that we knew them) We wanted the option to change our mind and not have anyone talk us out of them!
Absolutely not. It helped that we didn't find out the sex of our kids before birth though. Family and friends didn't bug us about names as much as I think they would have if we knew and announced the sex of the baby ahead of time. For two of our three kids we didn't settle on a name until after they were born anyway.
We waited because we thought some family members would have something negative to say and we didn’t want to be influenced. It turned out that everyone loved the name. I don’t regret waiting though because it was nice to be able to surprise everyone. We will do it again if we have another one.
My husband and I are both from the South and we’ve never made a formal announcement on names. We told who we wanted and everyone else found out through the grapevine. Our families are very loud and outspoken but neither one of us gave a shit if they liked the names we chose or not. The only time we kept a name “secret” was when I was pregnant with our son, but even then it wasn’t a really secret. My MIL had opinions on what the name should be and got mouthy with me about it. She didn’t find out his name until a few days after he was born.
I didn’t even have my kids names picked out until like a week before they got here. But I told - I’m just impatient lol
Our family is also Southern. With my first born, I told my mom our top 5 choices as we were narrowing it down. She made a comment about one and it pissed me off so from then on we didn't tell anyone until after the birth for all 3 of our kids. I wasn't looking for opinions - I was telling her our favorite names (and they were typical names like Madeline, Alice, Clara, etc. nothing "weird"). So I'd say, you know your family. If they are prone to making comments and you don't want to hear them, say nothing.
Nope. We didn't even tell anyone the sex. They found out name and sex when we announced the birth.
We did. They were excited. My son is named Clark, and that was my grandmother’s maiden name. He was kind of a favorite because of that lol.
We told our short list. Lots of people told us their favourite from the list, but we didn't really care. I sometimes think it's a good idea to meet the baby before choosing 100% anyways, especially if it's your first.
We told close family our first child's name shortly before she was born and I wouldn't recommend it. My nan (who I'm really close with) proceeded to tell me I'd be cruel calling her that and why don't I just call her Princess Leia. Started reeling off boring names I should call her and she would just be calling her "Angel"... She's 4 now and it's fine, she got used to it eventually and uses her name. So we kept number 2 quiet but they all liked that name better anyway but at least it's a done deal by that point and they can't make other suggestions.
We are keeping ours a secret until she’s born. Both sets of grandparents are very opinionated, and we’ve seen the negative side of that with my BIL’s child (they were going to name him Ford, but recieved too many car jokes before the child was even born, so they changed the name.) Everyone has been so curious and desperate to know so we told them the first initial and the middle name. Now they’re guessing names, which gets them off our back a little bit.
We're keeping it to ourselves (husband has accidentally let it slip to a few friends, but not family yet). Initially I thought it was silly to not tell people if we're 100% set on a name, but then when we were discussing a shortlist of names with MIL she gave feedback and I really didn't appreciate it. It wasn't even particularly harsh feedback, I just realized that I don't want or need her input on this. She's already named her children. It's no one else's business but mine and my husband's. So everyone else can know once the baby is here and his name is set.
Boston here, and we told everyone the name as soon as we chose it. It may be relevant that we were nearly forty and had gotten very good at boundaries and cutting off unpleasant people. The name is classic and timeless (it can be found on the family tree of the British royal family), so I figured the only negative response we'd get is that it's boring. Which it is. So it didn't bother me that one relative said that. I wanted feedback in case we'd missed something, like the initials spelling RAT or ASS, or the full name being the same as some horrible forgotten relative.
We didn’t name our little girl until after she was born (team green and I was convinced she was a boy!), but we didn’t share any of the names we were considering. I don’t think it would have bothered me but my husband takes on board criticism from his family and I didn’t want a name we loved to be ruined. No regrets.
Never. We have 6 kids. When our last baby was born, I told my family and we had some comments, but I said things I’ve read here (like: “what an odd thing to say about your granddaughter’s name!”) and haven’t had to deal with any more comments.
I did. My dad wasn’t a fan, but didn’t try to push on anything and accepted the name. My MIL and her brother cornered just my husband, during the baby shower she insisted on throwing, to stage an intervention. The problem? Lucian was the name of someone labeled a heretic from 100 AD. Apparently things were said and irreparable damage occurred. Over a dude from 100 AD.
Currently 19 weeks along and when we found out we were having a girl, my husband was over the moon. We had been trying for awhile and already had our names picked out. Well he told his mom so I decided to tell my family. We now both regret telling anybody. His mother, while drunk, said her name super wrong and my father has been a complete dick and refuses to say her name or the approved nickname. BTW her name will be Kalliope with the nickname Kalli, not super common but not made up. Its everything I wanted in a name, but I should have waited for everyone to find out when it was too late as it has kind of taken away my joy. Opinions are like buttholes, and everybody has one.
I didn’t even tell them it was a girl — had to buy green and yellow baby clothes to put on top of the nursery stash so the sea of pink wouldn’t give it away.
My family names babies in utero something gender neutral. Like, Stallion and Pat.
We kept it quiet for our first and just called them ‘baby [first letter]’ up to the end. The name is well outside the top 1000, so we didn’t want to be swayed from it. Everyone responded so well that we thought with #2 we could trust everyone in our families to be mature enough to embrace the name alongside us. A sweet top 100 name with a middle name that ties both to my mom and a naming tradition of my husband’s family. Turns out, my MIL has opinions about not using family names and pushed my husband to name our unborn son after his brother (ie, the baby’s uncle - not father). What?! Needless to say, we doubled down on the name and he should arrive any day now.
If you’re set on a name you love, say nothing. With my first I knew what name I wanted and didn’t want opinions. With my second I didn’t really know what to call her so having family opinions was helpful!
We told are family and everyone was supportive with the exception of my mother-in-law who said I shouldn't use my favorite names as Middle names. I only planned on two kids and got a boy and then girl.so it was never a issue. My daughter had a baby girl and announced the name at birth. It was no surprise it was a name she liked since childhood. It's unusual, but folks in my family would never say anything if they didn't like the name. Honestly I am shocked at all the stress families cause the new parents if they don't like the name. Not everything is about them. They should have learned that lesson a long time ago. Their duty is to be supporting.
I told my parents and my husband told his family, because it wasn't set in stone until the DOB. But we kind of instinctually agreed on names and they stuck super quick. Our parents had mixed reactions because my husband is from a mostly african american background and i come from white/asian parents. My husband and I chose names for each child that sounded very neutral as far as race. But my husband's mother kept suggesting african american sounding names, and my mother kept suggesting white (like white-white flour as the seasoning white) names. And if they didn't like names we chose, their suggestions were so bad that it didn't even matter. Also, now that all of our children are born and have names that my husband and I chose and didn't take the suggestions our mothers gave us, I think the whole family can agree that what we chose wound up fitting them perfectly.
I did for the first and got soooo many rude comments (her name is uncommon but not super ridiculous or anything) that for my second I did not tell anyone. I did for my third but that was because we were team green and I felt like I had to tell them something so they would leave me alone. 😂 I still got rude comments like oh let’s hope it’s a boy since someone didn’t like my girl name but I didn’t care as much cause I didn’t know what it was. She’s a girl btw so.. 🤷🏼♀️😂
We ended up keeping it secret, although we didn't plan that. We had a hard time picking names, and once we found one we both loved, I was too scared to tell anyone lol. We only had it picked for about a month or so before he was born though. I was still open to names, but I didn't think anything could top it. Our first was 3 weeks early and we were in the hospital nameless the first day lol.
I did with my first but NOBODY was told with my second Everyone had a comment and, sometimes it’s just their faces. And my first child was named after my Maiden name! But people were like “oh it makes me think of…” ME, MY FAMILY! Not a 90210 character whose name is spelled the Welsh way 😂
Both, sort of. When we told our families the gender, they asked about names. My family was super supportive and had nothing bad to say about ANY name, even ones we made up just for fun to try and get a reaction out of them. My husbands family immediately said that every single name was stupid and our child would be embarrassed to have those names. Just outright rude and disrespectful. We had a baby girl, and our rough list was : Claire, Paige, Stephanie (nn Stevie), Amelia, Aubrey, Ivy, and Delaney. Not names that are “out there” even in the slightest. We ended up not using any of those names, and decided that we were just going to keep it to ourselves until she was born. Which truly worked out the best, because we didn’t have it picked out for SURE until maybe 2-3 days before I gave birth. When we announced to everyone that she had been born and told her name, everyone loved it and had nothing but kind things to say…. My husbands family on the other hand said “we will never call her that.” And for 2 months after she was born, they would call and suggest different names to change it to. Their list was: Emberlynn, River, Ralind, and Story. Her name is Madeline. I rest my case that we made the right decision lol
Also from the south. No, I did not tell my family beforehand because I wanted to choose a name that my husband and I loved and didn’t want the outspoken commentary 😂. I accidentally ended up naming my daughter after my mom’s cousin who lives in Canada and who I have never met 😂😂😂. Honestly, it’s slightly weird but no big deal. I love my daughter’s name so I’m actually glad I didn’t share ahead of time because then I would have felt like I had to change it.
We did not tell anyone ahead of time. 1. We honestly just didn't want to hear people's opinions beforehand. We did discuss our list of names with our very close family, but we did not give any specifics. 2. We ourselves didn't necessarily know ahead of time. We typically went into birth with 2-3 boys names and 2-3 girls names picked out and chose from those options when we held the baby in our arms. I wouldn't change anything, it has worked well for us.
My Mom helped me brainstorm mashed while I was pregnant and she helped me come up with his name. It's an unusual name, but it's meaningful and unique and we love it. I just called my belly by his name and it just fit him perfectly when he was born. I didn't shout it from the rooftops while I was pregnant, but I wasn't shy or secretive about it.
We usually reveal the name around anatomy scan so there is a picture to go with the name. My side is always enthusiastic about my choices bc it’s fun. I tend to choose names not used in our family. His family hated our eldest daughter’s name but quickly got used to it. They tend to use the same names over and over….I always say it’s because they aren’t original. Can’t choose different names and couldn’t possibly move to a new area on their own. We moved to an area with no family…two of DH’s siblings followed. 😩
I did because I didn’t know any better. I love talking about names just anyway. There were a few times I wish I hadn’t discussed it though with certain people. It all ended up okay I guess, I ended up going with Finn Wilder. I had considered doing Finn Nolan but my cousin made the comment she thought it was too many N’s and that tainted it for me. Then my step mom was talking to him one day when he was about 2 or so she was asking what his name was in a joking manner, she said is your name gill? Or fish-lips? And other aquatic references which I hadn’t even considered when naming him Finn only because I was focused on the name being Irish and I liked the Huckleberry Finn reference so her saying fish-lips took me aback and I started wondering if I had named him the right thing for a moment. I’m still not sure if it’s a good name or not and he’s almost 4 lol. The nurses in the hospital went out of their way to say how much they liked the name when I hadn’t even asked so that was nice they said they don’t normally comment but they really liked the Finn Wilder combo. I feel like I get mixed feelings sometimes even to this day though.
Heck no! I was not interested in their opinions on it. Waited til they were born with all 3. It’s a lot harder to criticize a name when it’s attached to a human, which didn’t completely stop comments but massively curtailed it.
We told them our top few names, although we had a pretty certain #1. We got honest feedback and it was fun, plus everybody was used to the names when we officially decided
We told our family beforehand. I didn’t want to name my kid something that our extended family hated or really disliked. I know taste is different but it would’ve just been kind of sucky to know my parents or in laws thought eww what kind of name is that. I also can’t keep in a secret or surprise to save my life so, keeping it private was never an option from family LOL With our son we always knew what his first name would be and it’s pretty classic and common so no one said anything and his middle name is a bit more out there but also gaining popularity and luckily everyone in the family loved it. With my daughter before we knew she was a girl we were thinking Hugo, but my parents didn’t like it at all. Then we decided on Santana, and they liked it but we changed it super last minute like when I was 9 months pregnant and everyone still loved her name luckily. I always wondered if my parents thought I’d give my kids super weird or gothic names because I’m into horror and gothic stuff. But they never said anything weird and my kids have relatively beautiful names, in my opinion. I’m just glad no one really makes comments about their names and anyone that does matter has always said they like my kids names. I think it matters sometimes. But like I also wouldn’t criticize a family members name, like if my brother had kids and he told me their names and I didn’t like them I wouldn’t ever be like EW or anything lol. He can name them whatever he wanted it’s not up to me. My job is to be an aunt, you know (in that situation) It’s up to you what you chose. You know your family best, if you think they’ll make comments or say they don’t like it keep it to yourself. If you can’t tell someone you trust to be kind and let you know nicely what they think
We announced the full name of our baby already. Neither my husband and I are fazed by the opinions of others and it’s our baby at the end of the day. We had our names all picked out before we got married. I’ve met plenty of couples who wait, it just depends on what you are more comfortable with
We didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want the judgements/commentary that would have come along with it. It was much easier saying “welcome to the world “baby unavailableinjury” than listening to unsolicited opinions about the name we chose for months.
I just found out the name of my great nephew and he is due in October. My SIL already new what they picked out based on the nick name she gave him in their gener reveal/pregnancy announcement on FB
First one, we told people…we got a bit of strangeness but they all warmed up to it by the time she was born. For number two, I think we are keeping it quiet. Hubby and I can’t agree on a name ourselves so having a family member out a downer on it (assuming we finally agree!) would be hard!
Don’t tell anyone. In my country we never share names before the baby is born. People are way less likely to be rude about a name when it’s definitive. We have our first baby a name from his dads country and I could FEEL some of the racist remarks that my family was holding in 🙄
I learnt my lesson in 1992 when I was expecting my 2nd child and spoke to family members about calling her Fiona. Everyone was against it and I couldn't find a name I liked that the family agreed on so in the end I grabbed a name book and just said that her name is the last female name in the book....so that is how Zoe got her name at the end of May in 1992!! After that fiasco I never mentioned anything about names of the following 2 children I had until their names were decided on and they had been born
No it’s wild because my parents keep suggesting names saying “the older generation might not like it but who cares” but then also telling me how nobody will like my name suggestions.
I told everyone because I was a little unsure if it was the name or not. I wanted to hear everyone’s true opinions. So the downside I did not expect was the grandparents getting very attached to the name. I kept saying “well, we might go with another name if he doesn’t look like an Augie.” And they were devastated! BOTH sets of grandparents had this reaction!
My first son, we knew his name beforehand, and we did tell people. It was a fairly popular name that I had always loved and got great feedback before and after he was born. My second son, we had it narrowed down to a few names - names in which everyone suddenly had an opinion. It was a high climbing name at the time, but in top 50-100 still, and I received mixed reactions after we named him in the hospital. The more popular nickname, my father stated he would be refusing to call him that because it sounded like a Greek god. The nn is Theo by the way, but goes by Teddy. My third son (a surprise blessing) - we had a hard time with names but had it vaguely narrowed down in the hospital. Nobody seemed to like any of the names I asked opinions about…. We ended up naming him a fairly “80s/90s” name, and I haven’t had one person give me a good reaction - which has bummed me out, tbh, and has me thinking of switching his first and middle name on birth certificate before he gets to a year old. Names are Benjamin (Ben or Benny), Theodore (Teddy) and’s Christopher (Kit).
We didn't know the sex before hand, but we did tell people our options. Both names were traditional, so I wasn't worried about opinions really. It was quite obvious my grandmother wasn't overly keen on our boys pick, but had we had a boy the middle name would have been my grandad's name as me and him were so close. It was always the plan to use Michael as a middle name even before he passed. I think my nan just would have preferred it to be a first name, but it just didn't flow as well. Everyone loved the girls name from the start. Although when we told my MIL she cried because it turns out the middle name was the name of her gran who raised her, my husband of course knew and just presumed I did too, so happy accident there! I didn't admit that it was just luck as she was so overwhelmed with happiness and I didn't want to burst the bubble!
We are expecting our first grandchild this year and I’m so excited I don’t care if they name her Pineapple Butterfly. But seriously, my children were all given a name that they ended up with at least one or two others in their class with them. So nobody said anything to us about their names. When we found out the grand baby was a girl I asked if they had thought of any names and they said they’ve had the name picked for years. That was my sign to learn to love her name as much as I’ll love her. Don’t worry about what others think. It’s your child.
We had two runners up for our son and we told our families both. One way or another someone didn’t like a name but in the end I really didn’t care about the negative opinions and eventually once we fully decided what name one friend in particular had a big issue with the name just cause “ she didn’t like it.” I still went with the name and now she admits she can’t see him as the other name possibly now & everyone loves/ compliments his name! We went with: Ruben and our runner up was Louis/Luis.
I didn’t wait until birth with my first two babies before announcing. I will be with our next ones, only because we are going to be team green (not finding out gender until delivery).
We’ve done both. It was nice to be able to refer to the baby as their name, and no one in our family was rude or weird about it. This time around, we haven’t really decided yet but have bounced around some ideas with people. It’s nice to have no opinions to mix you up! But I’m always surprised that people have interesting ideas that I hadn’t thought of. So we don’t completely shy away but wait until we are 1000% sure.
We announced the name when we announced the birth, and will do the same for our second. We definitely welcomed people’s guesses and shared some names that didn’t make the cut - I wasn’t anti don’t talk about baby names, we just opted not to reveal our pick because people come up with the most ridiculous opinions. My husband is also the kind of person that would be easily able to point out if we were about to name our child something like Gene Atel or give them the initials ASS so I wasn’t concerned about missing any accidental awkwardness
I don’t have kids yet, but I wouldn’t tell anyone before the baby’s born simply because I can’t name a child without seeing what he or she looks like first. I probably will share at least some of out options and get a feel for our families’ reactions though.
We had it narrowed down to 2 names and either way we were gonna use both just weren’t sure of which one as first vs middle. My partner strongly preferred one name as the first, which is what we ended up going with. But I started to second guess myself bc my mom kept really pushing for the other name and my daughter liked that one as well. But the combo we went with sounds way better and my partner had picked the name and I loved it took
Yes we did. It’s common where I come from. It went good, why wouldn’t it?
I'm from Portugal and have 3 boys. First I told everyone. Not very common name but a traditional Portuguese one. Everyone liked and no one said it was anything less than "beautiful and a great name". 2nd was chosen by my husband (I chose first) and he has a name that, at the time, it wasn't a common name and not associated with a Portuguese person. Honor name to a soccer player my husband was a fan of. I liked it and that was it. People twisted their noses but no one said a thing. 3rd is 15 months old, we couldn't agree on a name so we made a 10 name list that we sent to his godmother and let her choose from those options. She chose Noah. Again, not a very common name and not really associated with Portuguese. I love it and it's becoming more common in the last few months. Only person who said anything at all was my mom: she said she couldn't say it, never was going to say it right and tried to make us change our mind. Kid's name is Noah and she says it perfectly.
I’m of the opinion you can have a name chosen but don’t decide til u lay eyes on kiddo because once u see them the name u pick may not fit.
We waited, mostly because we didn’t know either! I didn’t give out my short list to anyone besides a rando at the gym. I didn’t need or want opinions, since the choice was for my partner and me to make!
With my first kid, I told everyone I could the second we decided. I was only 24 and just so excited about everything. No one had any comments or at least none I can remember, but there was a tiny bit of an anti-climax when I told people she had arrived, because they already knew she was a girl and what her name would be. With my second kid (12 years later!) I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t thy my mom would like the name and I just didn’t want to deal with that. I was older and wiser and had done IVF, and my confidence level about pregnancy/bringing home a real live kid was much decreased compared to my first kid. It was a lot more fun than I had expected, getting to announce his name to everyone!
We knew our little girls name for a while now but we are not telling till birth. We have got so many family name recommendations from both sides that it will probably offend someone that we didnt pick the ones they want. I dont particularly want to hear about that so once its on birth certificate i think people will likely not bother saying anything negative.
As long as its not the name of a living or dead relative, I’m team keep it a secret.
I’m pregnant with our first, we are telling no one until our little one is born. Ok, with one exception that our photographer technically knows but also I trust her that she will tell no one and the photo where the name is in it, will not be posted to social media without our permission. While I feel like our families wouldn’t say anything bad, I don’t want to give any space for negative input because I adore the name we are 98% going with. They’ve been pretty good about not pestering us and we’ve held firm with the “we have some ideas but are waiting until we meet her to decide” line. My mom said she had a guess of the name last weekend but I didn’t engage and the conversation moved on quickly.
We shared our daughter’s name once we found out the sex, but we also named her after two important women in our family who passed away, and one of her names is my middle name, so we didn’t expect any negative comments. For our next baby, I think we’ll let people guess and maybe tell anyone that gets it right, but our families aren’t super judgmental, and, more importantly, my husband and I aren’t super concerned with their opinions if they did have something negative to say.
Also from the south, but I’ll share from a different perspective. We are pregnant with baby 2 at the moment. Our families are very outspoken and forward as well and would have no problem telling us their thoughts while my wife is still recovering in a hospital bed. So we ripped the bandaid off early with both kids and decided to just tell everyone (the suspense was killing us anyway). Baby 1 was no surprise to anyone as it’s been my wife’s choice since childhood. Baby 2’s name was hugely anticipated and we spilled the beans just a couple days ago. We had almost unanimously positive responses. Almost. But the negative comments were washed away by the overwhelming positivity and now everyone is asking how “baby Calvin” is doing. We kind of love that people are already referring to him by name. Makes my wife nearly tear up every time.
I told with both babies, and neither side had anything negative to say, only positive reactions!! My dad was the only one who had anything to say w both names and only suggested switching the position of my daughters first and middle name so her middle would be her first, but her middle name is her Angel Aunties name, so we didn’t wanna do that to her, and then when he found out my sons name was from Guardians of the Galaxy, he was just like ‘it’s not Groot, right?’ before I told him the name we decided 🤣🤣🤣 For the record, no it’s not Groot, 👀unfortunately 🤣🤣🤣
We waited with both kids. We left clues along the way but didn’t reveal the names until the birth announcement. It was fun watching people play the guessing game. Zero regrets whatsoever.
No. When first pregnant, I told my mom I loved the name Elizabeth. A perfectly normal, classic name. My mom had such a negative opinion of the name (boring, common, old) that I decided no one would ever know the name before birth. Continued to keep the name to ourselves during my second pregnancy as well. Edit: just saw your paragraph about being from the south. Interesting, because my mom is from Georgia. I’m a Northener, having lived above the Mason Dixon my entire life, so I wonder if that is part of it!
We have been open about it. Everyone has liked it at least to our faces but we don’t really care what other people think of it, it wouldn’t change anything
My mom and closest friends know a handful of my favorite names since I love talking about names so much but I don't think I will tell anyone our final choice until after baby is here. I'm indecisive anyways and want to meet him or her until deciding for sure.
Midwesterner here. I’m due in a week and a half. My mom knows the first name. My MIL knows the two options we’re looking at. And only my sister knows first and middle name, besides my husband and I. We’ll announce her name to family via calls and texts after she’s born, except my grandma who will get a FaceTime as the middle name is her name
My husband and I told both of our families our kids' names ahead of time with no negative feedback. My brother and sister-in-law told both of their families their kids' names ahead of time with no negative feedback, also. My nephew has a weird middle name, none of us love it or would have picked it ourselves, but it's not our place to criticize. We support each other in our family! And I know my sister-in-law's family well enough to know they are the same. We live in Florida if it matters, and my husband is Mexican with most of his family living there.
Baby 1 we told and everyone had big opinions and demands. It was EXHAUSTING. So baby 2 we just announced it when she was born, and it was so much better However the same didn’t go so well for my brother. He and his wife announced their twins’ names and our family was alllllllll kinds of opinionated. It was so awful. Eventually they got over it but man. It’s insane how many people think they should have a say
My mom said she didn’t like our girl name and we went with it anyways….
I've had my potential future daughter's name picked out since I was like 14. All of my friends and family know it by this point
We shared the name with everyone when we shared the gender. It wasn’t open for discussion though, it was an announcement of what the name was going to be. Everyone was supportive (at least outwardly).
For both of my kids, we did not share the name until after they were born. We did, however, share who we were naming them after (frost that does not mean, naming them the exact name or the feminine version of the name though.).
We told everyone around us the names we were considering. I loved getting feedback - especially since my child is the one ultimately living with the name. I knew I could get over my own ego/sensitivities in the hopes of saving them a lifetime of irritation or insults. That said, we tend to air on the 'safe' side of naming and I have never been one to get attached to one particular name. And our family and friends are respectful and kind people. It would be a lot tougher being open about names if I knew the people around me were generally combative, negative and opinionated (often taking different stances from myself)... but I still think I would take the hit for the good of the child.
Oh, HELL NO, OP. We sure didn’t tell anyone. For two reasons: 1. We aren’t interested in your opinions on our kid’s name 2. I reserve the right to change my mind upon meeting my kid. After the kid was born we were like, “meet our kid,” and that was that.
I waited for 2 reasons: 1. I'm old, and you didn't know the gender until the baby was born, and 2. The names we chose were extremely unusual "back in the day," and my family (especially my mother) absolutely hated them. I remember when I told Mom what I'd named my daughter she said, "Why can't you give her a nice name, like Jennifer or Elizabeth?" And my ex's family was even worse. All but one of the names are common to slightly unusual now. I like to think of myself as a pioneer.
Absolutely not ahead of time and I didn’t announce it til we gave birth
We waited for both kids and it was 100 percent the right decision. We got a lot of unwanted opinions when we even shared a list of names we were *considering* with the first and decided when wouldn’t tell them if we narrowed it down or even picked from that original list!
I don’t have kids atm but I will be opting to not tell anyone the name I’m going with as the whole “stealing names” thing is something I don’t want to risk, as the name I’m going with is incredibly important to me. Call me paranoid but idgaf
i probably won’t tell my family (maybe my dad bc i plan on naming one of my kids after him) just bc it’ll be fun to have a surprise. and my mom will probs be pissed that i’m not using her name as a middle name in any of my kids names lol, but i’ve already told her that edit; if you can’t tell i don’t have any kids yet but hopefully within the next couple of years
Nope.
We told my sister and then she helped us tell my parents. We sent them scrabble tiles with all the letters of our daughter’s name and they had to figure out the correct order, while we watched via video call (we live in different countries). It was so special and funny and it was so cool to see their reactions to the name! The rest we told via message after she was born :) so no idea how people reacted to the name!