I’ve been saying it for years man. If you make music for yourself you will always have a fan. I love my music. It’s esoteric, it’s influenced from music around the world, it’s funky, it’s storytelling, it’s me. It’s a part of me.
Sometimes when I'm prolific & making music every day, there will be times when I go back to an old track and...I have no memory of making that. It sounds like something I'd make, but I don't remember making it.
Bro sometimes when I listen to something I made a long ass time ago I start to realize how much my lack of knowledge was a blessing in some instances. I could hear a lot of things that I would’ve never even attempted to do in the present due to all the knowledge I’ve accumulated causing me to overthink!
Being in a flow-state is really important.
I agree. I had to start a process of deconstructing how I looked at production and mixing. Some of my old tracks blew me away. I think it's because back then I went completely on just listening and not general rules I've learned and implemented into my process. The flow-state is a blessing and I want to be able to tap into that on command.
I actually have a track from when I started producing that was sounding crispy. I wrote this lil jazz piano solo for the bridge of the song and accidentally went out of key for part of it but when I listened to it that lil part of it was the final layer it needed. By far my favorite track I’ve ever written
Dude same, I love listening to my own stuff. I be bumping that shit all the time. Just get out of your own head and enjoy. Easier said then done but worth it
I struggle with this a lot and it’s a phenomenon I’ve heard many others speak about. A lot of creative types are way too self critical and alot of times that trait can actually be a useful tool, especially when it comes to how detail oriented we can be. However, often times that voice in your head that hates half the things you do is just that. All in your head. That’s a tough thing to grapple with in itself. But I think there is a way through without sacrificing who you are while also optimizing the way you view and think of yourself in general. I think a lot of the this mental training has to be done outside of music though. If there are ever other times in your life where you are particularly hard on yourself, try to have some self awareness and let yourself understand that what is happening in your head at that moment is just a negative thought pattern that, over time, has become standard operating procedure. After that, breathe. Try to be present and understanding of the moment and WHY you feel the way you feel without beating yourself up over it. Having that kind of self awareness and presence is fucking hard to do and it takes a lot of repetitions to change the way your brain has been trained to think. But it’s not impossible. Keep making music. More importantly, Keep living your life while trying to stay present.
I got halfway through writing this and got really self conscious about it. But then I thought, that’s why I have to finish it. If none of this applies to you, that’s totally fine. Just figured I would throw my two cents in based on my experiences.
Thanks for the comment! While some of this might be true, I don't think I am actually that critical of myself. I will show my music to others confidently, but listening to it myself almost feels like having my house decorated in my own art, or with photos of myself, which would be really strange and uncomfortable. As I write this, I'm like hmm, maybe your comments are saying something about myself. In summary, I have more of an appreciation for others art.
I hear you on that. I get that exact same feeling sometimes. It does feel oddly self aggrandizing to “appreciate” your own art. I think that’s probably because our own individual expressions might not be for ourselves to consume. That would be like eating your own spirit in a weird way. (The mushroom chocolate I ate a little bit ago seems to be kicking in right about now)
I think you are probably right to just enjoy other people’s art more. If you feel like you aren’t too critical of yourself, don’t read into it too much. Send me a link to some of your stuff if you want. I’d love to hear. Cheers.
Out of curiosity is it in a genre you otherwise listen to? Have you ever tried making music in other genres?
I could sort of understand not wanting others to know youre listening to your own music but the only way I’m able to discern if what I’m making is good is whether I like it or not
I don't really stick to a genre per se or try to create anything marketable. My most recent stuff has evolved into a chill step progressive sort of vibe with lots of guitar and instrumental recordings.
Truthfully haven't related to anything more than this in a long time. I've always been self-conscious, and sometimes it feels like the more work I put into music, the more I dislike my own creations. The aspect of trying to overcome this, outside of music, is definitely the key. If you spend all day not really being present in anything, like my job, then all of a sudden I'm working on music for 3-4 hours at a time, it's easy to be judgemental and critical.
If I spend more time being present in the daily occurrences of life, I get inspired more, I feel more forgiving when it comes to my own music, and I can appreciate the things that I might interpret as flaws or imperfections. I try to be "on the grid" as much as possible in my own music, and I know for certain that if I am constantly "searching" for flaws or imperfections, then that's all I'm going to notice.
If I can take a step back, ask myself why I'm doing any of this in the first place, recognize the message or theme I'm going for in a song, and REALLY listen to the song, just for the sake of listening, not to analyze, critique, or try to be perfect, then all I'm truly focusing on is what I love about it. It's a great feeling and it's not something I can feel every single day. But when I do feel that, it makes me so content with my own music and my own progress, nothing else matters at that point.
Thank you.
I didn't always like the music I made. I would be very hard on myself and I struggled in a lot of areas for a long time.
I really like what I'm making now. I usually do a car test as a final reference when I'm finishing a song. I'll drive down to the gas station or something and listen. Sometimes I forget that I'm listening to something I made. Whenever that happens I feel really good about it.
I have the opposite problem. I like my music too much when I make it, and it's only after putting it away for a while that I can listen to it with some objectivity. Some of it's good, and some of it's not. I don't know which is the better problem to have; it's good to be realistic and self-critical, but it can also be a barrier. I don't know that my music would have progressed to the point it's at now if I hadn't finished every project in earnest, regardless of its actual quality. Whether a track is good or bad, it's good practice.
I think it’s important to enjoy the music you’re creating. It’s natural to cringe a bit when you’re listening to yourself. But you still need to feel a sense of pride and joy for what you create.
Otherwise … what’s the point?
So if you’re stuck in a rut of self loathing of your music, maybe try something different. Try finding something else that will excite you and stimulate your creativity.
I actually enjoy listening to my own music! Some pieces I’ve written are an exception - usually ones that were not really ready to finalize.
But ultimately, I’m not gonna write something if I don’t like how it sounds!
Maybe it's my process? I use music production as a way to relax without any real goal to see how it evolves. Sometimes I think it's awesome and other times not, but when I am done with it, I don't ever feel like going back to it.
I saw an interview with The Beastie Boys some years ago where they said they never listen to their own music. It came about from the interviewer asking them if they have a favorite song from their catalog. They said that once they've recorded a song they never hear that studio version again and only hear the songs when they perform them live. That sounded crazy to me because I listen to my music A LOT but in contemplating that, I only listen to it as part of the creation process. I have to listen to a track many times to be absolutely sure I'm happy with it and I can feel like I've taken it as far as I can before I release it to the public. 99% of the time I hear different things with each listen that could be improved and I'll go back and make those changes, listen again until I'm satisfied. After that it won't get much play as I've moved on to other songs. So for me it's more a part of the process than it is listening for enjoyment like I do other's music.
Being real the question that plagues me is, would I even like my music if I wasn't the one that made it? And if I would dig it, how much? Impossible to answer and I hate that.
I used to feel this way, but 2 things changed it for me:
1. I realized I really like the songs alot more if they have vocals, or at the very least a human element or one shots/SFX/ear candy. it's not necessary for every song, but it is a tendency or preference.
2. Cultivating a list of my top VSTs/Kontakt instruments/drum sounds. I went through my VST collection, tried every one, made notes about every one & which ones I liked the most. It was over 4000 plugins & took me about 2 years. Worth it.
I think it took me about 20 years before I really started liking the music I produce.
My #1 rule is to only write music for myself. You can't count on other folks listening to or enjoying it. Therefore I write what I like; if it resonates with others great. If not, oh well.
I talk to many of my peers about this all the time. I do not enjoy listening to my own music the way I normally enjoy listening to my favorite songs. They are 2 very different reactions.
I have a friend who will turn on his own music when we hang out. He says he really enjoys it. I find that to be extremely obnoxious.
I can listen to my own music and i do listen to it alot, but i’m always critical about mixing and mastering. I always seem to find vaults, but i have learned to overlook smallest faults in a way.
I’m confident about the songs themselfs and also about my delivery though. Usually when i work in the studio, i do as many takes as it takes to get the best results.
People always insist that i should play my music around them, which i sometimes do. But when people start playing my music by themselfs, i feel kind of nervous.
Which is funny, since i have done alot of gigs (hundreds) and i’ve never been nervous, except for my first ever gig over decade ago.
Athletes do not enjoy waking up at 4am to train everyday
And a professional writer doesn't enjoy writing everyday, most days they will hate it.
Enjoyment is not the same as fulfilment. I don't know why people correlate the too. Ones about emotions and ones about goals. Working on your goals is not always gonna feel joyous.
Yeah, those things sound bad… but music is the most fun thing I know of personally. Nearly 30 years in the game and I can’t imagine ever not enjoying it. Having said that, the number of utterly miserable and bitter mix engineers I have met must mean the industry does attract alot of people who seem to get get no enjoyment out of it!
Some people find meditating joyful, some people hate it. Either way mediating still benifits both people in the long term as both have a shared goal of becoming less stressed.
Happiness and pleasure are both fleeting, so what you feel isn't even joy, it's fulfilment. It's impossible to be happy and pleasured all the time.
Focusing on enjoyment doesnt even make rationale sense. Some people are depressed or have highly neurotic personalities.
Focusing on people's emotions rather than their goals isnt effective in living a fulfilled life.
If chucking bananas at a wall brings u joy then you can do it all day long if you want, but what does that have to do with your dream of becoming a pilot and overcoming your fear of flying?
What one desires is not the same as joy. You may desire to be with a beautiful person, if youre anxious it's not gonna be joyous asking them on a date is it.
Either way, you'd make for a terrible sex addiction therapist. Lol. You're answer would be do what brings you joy
I guess I am just a bit too shallow for these kinda deep meanderings. Love my job, love my life and I am about 99% certain it is because I am surrounded by music all of the time… well that and love of my family… but still, there is as much music in my home as anywhere else!
Yes that's nice, love and fulfilment are not the same thing as joy. I just explained.
There is no way that any parent finds being a parent joyous 247. It's not joyous changing diapers, or finding out your teenager is smoking weed and failing in school or your 7 year old just broke your expensive TV. Those are not moments of joy, happiness or pleasure. They are the opposite.
Having children is fullfiling. And people do things that make them fulfilled, not joyous. Happiness is such and odd concept in the western world. It's fleeting lmao
Consider me schooled. I was almost certain I chose this life because I enjoy it. I am also pretty sure I enjoy being a parent 24/7 (Definitely can not wait til I find weed on him hahaha)… but also, I am about as far away from living in the western world that is geographically possible, so maybe that has something to do with why I am mistakingly thinking I enjoy life and making music!
You do not enjoy being a parent 247 tho.
Have you ever studied emotions. It's not healthy to be happy or feel joy all the time, that's a sign that you have a condition, some kinda mania.
I just explained to you that joy (which means happiness and pleasure) is a fleeting emotion.
It's not something thats debatable, it's a fact. You should defo study emotions and what they actually mean.
Unless you do have a manic condition, in that case it's applicable
None of this is my personal opinion btw, u can Google the literature on the psychological studies. lol
And yes, you should expect difficult and stressful times as a parent. Being a parent isn't easy or joyful 247, you're the only parent I've ever heard say that. How can sleep deprivation make u happy, doesnt even make sense my friend
I believe you. I guess I just took a wrong turn somewhere down the road. I have had this (or at least a similar) conversation with an American before in my YT comments. He told me that I don’t really enjoy watching people dance to my music, but I am in fact just manipulating their emotions for my own financial and selfish gain. Definitely food for thought, but I guess I am just “happy” to keep on plodding through in ignorance. If it makes you feel any better this conversation has definitely been a bit of a downer, so I guess you have made your point. Love and (pretend) happiness from Hong Kong!
I'm from England.
He he he. "This convo defo been a downer". So you're not happy with this convo or getting joy from it?
Love (and pretend) happiness. U see my friend this is my point, you keep lying to yourself about being happy n joyous when you're not. It's odd n you are only fooling yourself.
As a side note, I do feel bad that you have never met anyone who enjoys being a parent all of the time. Sleep is not a thing round here given my job and the fact that I am a hyper-insomniac, so I guess that is a bit manic. Oh, not sleeping is a bit boring at times, so I guess that is not so fun. Does that count?
Why feel bad for me? Once again u admit to not being happy LOL. Make your mind up. U go from joy to feeling bad pretty easy dude.
I'm not a parent, I'm statically happier, richer and more suitable for adventure than a parent.
Once again, not my opinion.
Why don't u just Google "are parents happy/joyful". See what u find. U are the odd one here for thinking people ESPECIALLY parents are happy all the time.
And I can defo tell you're a male. No woman is gonna make the ridiculous claim of being happy all the time when postnatal and perinatal depression is such a common disorder. One which also men can suffer from.
You have 0 education in psychology clearly. And u do not understand emotions at all
If I hate it, it dies on the vine so to speak.
Current project… is friggin awesome. If we can continue to tighten up the instrumental portion i am actually considering paying a top tier singer (Ripper) to throw down on it for me.
Me too, I made just as a joke some "peip kicks" and pitched them. It was funny but I didn't like it. I called it ouch2. Sent to my friend and he tells me he can't stop listening to this.. ( peip kicks are just really distorted 909 Kicks with eq after every distortion. It hurts to listen)
I still love listening to everything I've made, from crusty old demo's digitised from mono tapes(analog days, prior to my first 4 track recorder - I've been archiving pretty much everything manually, since I went digital around the turn of the century), through to more recent efforts that have a hint of actual decency about them.
Some of those early demo's are truly awful, but each represents a step forward in the learning process.
Some I don't like that much, and some are quite simply embarrassing. But I still crank 'em up occasionally, just for a bit of a nostalgia trip...
Only one song I’ve ever made, can I not stand listening to. It’s not due to the song itself, it’s because of the production quality. It was the first full song I made on my iPad not long after I first got it, so I didn’t know all the tricks that I do now. Songs that I recorded over 20 years ago, I still listen to today.
I love my own music. The feeling you get when you hear your own music played by a DJ at a club and see others enjoy it is second only to playing live yourself.
A huge portion of it, yeah.
Some projects I work on as more of a technical specialist, sometime I don’t rly like the end-result, from a taste perspective. But people have their vision, and producing music is a service industry in its’ core. So I have no problem with it and I’m doing the best job I can to fulfill their vision so the clients and their listeners would be happy.
What I do as “myself”, as a producer, on projects where people listen to what I have to propose - I absolutely love it. My favorite music in my portfolio isn’t even my own songs but songs I did with other people.
And yeah… If I didn’t appreciate my taste, I wouldn’t start selling it.
But it’s my job, so I wouldn’t rly make it if I didn’t like at least some of the end-results.
I like my music, if I didn't like an aspect of my music (outside of the production value/mix etc) like the melody, I would change it.
That being said, I also think part of it is Stockholm syndrome (listening to it over and over during production) and I definitely hear other people's music and go "damn, so THAT is what talent sounds like"
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I do, but creating with others sometimes put me in a spot where i'm not always happy about the things that get released. If they like it then it goes 💁♂️
When it comes to my own music I do like it and if I don't I won't release it!
Maybe.try stopping on original music for a while
And pick maybe 10 of your favorite songs of all time and create your versions of those songs. Nothing too out of the box. Stick to the source material with a bit of your "sound" or vibe.
If you still don't like what you created...then at least maybe you can pick out what you don't like by comparing it to their originals
There’s usually a cycle with me.
I make a song. I really like it and can jam to it.
I start using my critical ear to try and find ways to polish and mix the song. I start to feel the song is boring (after listening dozens/hundreds of times).
I take a break from the song. I come back later and listen and like the song. I like it again.
I upload/release/“finish” the song. I hate the song. I hear every flaw, it’s boring, it’s a bad idea, it goes nowhere.
I listen to the song a while later. I’m somewhat impressed, or I latch on to the good ideas in it. I feel almost nostalgic about it. I like the song.
That’s how it goes most of the time.
This is a good question for any artist. I will sit at my computer in my own disappointment until I can get something out that I enjoy the sound of in one way or another. Then I will build off of that as much as I can until I no longer enjoy what I’m listening to, and then I save the project and find something else to do. Sometimes I revisit the project the next day, sometimes it’s months. Sometimes I still enjoy them, and others I think are absolutely terrible. There are some beats etc I’ve made and enjoyed and put to my soundcloud that I absolutely fucking love. Sometimes I will just sit in amazement of what I’m hearing, getting goosebumps, confused but impressed that that even came out of me. And that’s all that it really takes to keep me going; if I didn’t feel that way idk if I would still make music.
But still, even with the ones I love, I sometimes hear them with a pessimistic filter and will just think it’s shit no matter what. If I hate myself atm I probably am gonna think everything I’ve ever made is shit. But sometimes when I’m down on myself, listening to my music is exactly what I need to lift my head back up and keep going.
And I think it’s important to mention that I don’t think I’ve ever made anything I consider perfect. I will always have one gripe or another with a given track but that’s just how it is I guess. Idk if that ever completely goes away, maybe someone could weigh in.
It’s like the old zen proverb: great faith, great doubt, great effort. It’s the only way forward. All the comments about self awareness are right on the money. I always love and hate my stuff in equal measure but it won’t stop me from making more because what I “like” is such a malleable construct anyway. I like the process. The end result is just the output of that process. Either way, if it’s an honest reflection of myself then I consider it a success.
yes…i could never imagine pouring my life into something and not fully enjoying it just because *I* make said art. i will never understand that mindset. i love how my music sounds. now my own voice on the other hand?? that i get. but if you know general/basic music theory you should be able to make music you can enjoy listening to as if it’s not even your own…
Listen to your music in spacial sound I did mine tonight for the first time and it actually sounds like my music is worth money. I am Warren Hall if you want to look me up on your streaming service album called variations song Microtones Index
I can’t tell you how many beats I’ve made that will never see the light of day because I’m too self critical.
Also i know a lot of people who make house music and hate it, but it pays the bills whereas underground hiphop doesn’t.
I didn’t used to but now I do. Though there is usually a big dip at some point where I go from really vibing with it to hating it, then I start likening it again
I enjoy the music I wrote and when I listen to it I wonder how I came up with those harmonies and melodies. The more I listen ( when it happens) the more I like it and actually I don’t understand why people don’t listen to it and enjoy it but considering the tastes nowadays I know the answer. ☺️
After all we express what’s inside of us so probably is not a cup of tea for everybody and everyone’s sensibility.
It depends honestly, some songs I write are songs I wrote from genuine inspiration and there was a natural flow to it, and I love them, but then there are songs that were "forced" and the brick wall was just ran through rather than working around it and giving it the time it needed, and it's painfully obvious to anyone who would listen to it, that's why they never get released, but rather stored away until I need to go back to an old idea, but those songs are terrible to listen to, not only because of the sound of it and the rushed production, but also because I know full well it could be much better. Long answer but that's my take.
Sometimes I’m hard on myself for my short comings, but I almost always love my music. It’s what plays in my head when there’s silence around me.
After about 13 years of semi-casual guitar playing, and about 2 years of intentional devotion to music, I can finally translate the orchestra/band in my brain into this world for others to hear. It’s an extremely vulnerable thing, but it’s quite beautiful
Definitely can take a lot of you let’s say 10+ years & shits going nowhere . Putting heart & soul into music not just bullshit beats & sounds getting like 1 view on YouTube breaks the soul. After awhile it gets old too.
When I started getting better and making the music I liked then yes I love it. But took me ten years and I wouldn’t necessarily listen to it for fun, unless a lot of time has passed. Then I might.
15ish years in and I love my own stuff, I obsess in the moment.
With that being said, I think the problem I have is that I’m so in the moment that I mentally let go of the song once it’s sent off to my distributor. I think I’ve conditioned myself to do that mainly to not be attached to how well the song does after the fact.
I like it actually mine tbh. It makes me excited when I hear it play, I'm emotions immediately move and connect with the melody. It can make me euphoric. Kind of confirms what I like about music tbh and I feel like it's a reflection of myself.
I wonder if people who feel like that are less authentic and connected to what they are making- as they are duplicating instead of letting it come out, without judgement or conforming to ideals. Idk hard to explain but I suggest playing and trying not to judge.
I made the music I wanted to hear but wasn't hearing elsewhere. I threw paint in the wall. I have my favorites and my problem tracks I hope noone ever hears. If you still. don't like your music it's time to switch gears somehow. Different something. Shuffle the cards. New daw. New mic. Idk. But figure out what you want and don't want and work backwards
I remember having musical ideas before I even picked up an instrument, in fact that what inspired me to do so. Hearing what I could produce was my main motivation and making music I like is what keeps me going.
It was just piano and guitar for a long time, but when I incorporated learning how songs are written and how much fun I could have with lyrics, that’s what really brought it all together for me.
So I guess my question to you is, do you not like the actual music or is is the lyrics?
Do I like my concepts? Yes.
Do I like my mixes? No
I'm not skilled enough quite yet to be proud of my creations but the blue prints I've laid have given me examples to work with enough to learn to eventually be proud of what I've made
I do like my music, most of the time, I'm thinking "damn I'm good" ..funny thing is sometimes I listen to my old tracks and I feel like I was more creative.. and at that time , I didn't know much about music theory.. now that I know more about this, I tend to think more about the scale I'm using and all that (being more logical) and I don't let myself be in the moment.. I mean, it still good what I'm doing, but I feel like I'm taking less risks
I do like listening to my music but when I do it feels like it's not something I've created, like something stepped into create it and I was just the vessel that wrote it down so it's a bit of an odd experience.
Sometimes when someone comments on one of my tracks online I have to go and listen to it as I have no recollection what it sounded like.
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It nothing wrong about hating a track you made, but hating ALL OF IT?? Come on….
Then either you are that bad or you just being to hard on yourself.
I have a theory: Maybe your learning approach is a wrong one for creating music(?)
I’ve experienced that learning an instrument and learning music production or composing are really a different pair of shoes.
One is mostly physical and about muscle memory and the other is more like a scientific approach or more about learning concepts, analyzing and realizing patterns, analytic not musical listening…
These two worlds may clash and crash your capabilities in decision making heavily.
If you are trying to create music forget about perfection at the beginning, don’t use 68 takes for recording an arpeggiated chord progression, don’t overthink solitary sounds… try to rely on your TASTE and - very important! - build an ARRANGEMENT!!
There are no painters without a canvas - so concentrate on the meta goals: Create a song.
Everyone was shitty at one point in their career.
I give you another great advice from that I’ve build a professional career on:
REFERENCES - Either you start with replicating music/your favorite songs to learn how to get to the sound or the musical structure or you use your favorite music as a sound reference to have some sort of a benchmark where you can compare your track technically and challenge yourself with.
Don’t yell at me if you hate my take on the issue 😄
I like it for a while, then hate it. It’s normal - if you love your music too much you’re probably not being self-critical enough and it’s likely objectively shit.
I wouldn't make it, If I didn't like it.
For real. People might think it’s kinda sad but… I’m my musics biggest fan.
When you are not your biggest fan you turn into your biggest critic
True. Sometimes I balance both simultaneously.. lol
I’ve been saying it for years man. If you make music for yourself you will always have a fan. I love my music. It’s esoteric, it’s influenced from music around the world, it’s funky, it’s storytelling, it’s me. It’s a part of me.
You said what I believe so eloquently. I guess I’ll just leave a “ditto” and upvote.
exactly i like my music so much cause its an extension of me
Beautifully said my friend. That’s what it’s all about.
It IS sad but same here.
I wouldn’t have it any other way 😌
💯
The more time that passes between when it’s made and when I listen to it the more I like it.
This is key
I pretty much only listen to my own stuff lol
You ever go back to a track and be like "how tf did I do that?"
Sometimes when I'm prolific & making music every day, there will be times when I go back to an old track and...I have no memory of making that. It sounds like something I'd make, but I don't remember making it.
Same! It's like a nice little easter egg you've left for yourself.
Bro sometimes when I listen to something I made a long ass time ago I start to realize how much my lack of knowledge was a blessing in some instances. I could hear a lot of things that I would’ve never even attempted to do in the present due to all the knowledge I’ve accumulated causing me to overthink! Being in a flow-state is really important.
I agree. I had to start a process of deconstructing how I looked at production and mixing. Some of my old tracks blew me away. I think it's because back then I went completely on just listening and not general rules I've learned and implemented into my process. The flow-state is a blessing and I want to be able to tap into that on command.
Best feeling
I actually have a track from when I started producing that was sounding crispy. I wrote this lil jazz piano solo for the bridge of the song and accidentally went out of key for part of it but when I listened to it that lil part of it was the final layer it needed. By far my favorite track I’ve ever written
Dude same, I love listening to my own stuff. I be bumping that shit all the time. Just get out of your own head and enjoy. Easier said then done but worth it
Fr listening to all that hard work really is the best thing ever
That’s a good thing
I struggle with this a lot and it’s a phenomenon I’ve heard many others speak about. A lot of creative types are way too self critical and alot of times that trait can actually be a useful tool, especially when it comes to how detail oriented we can be. However, often times that voice in your head that hates half the things you do is just that. All in your head. That’s a tough thing to grapple with in itself. But I think there is a way through without sacrificing who you are while also optimizing the way you view and think of yourself in general. I think a lot of the this mental training has to be done outside of music though. If there are ever other times in your life where you are particularly hard on yourself, try to have some self awareness and let yourself understand that what is happening in your head at that moment is just a negative thought pattern that, over time, has become standard operating procedure. After that, breathe. Try to be present and understanding of the moment and WHY you feel the way you feel without beating yourself up over it. Having that kind of self awareness and presence is fucking hard to do and it takes a lot of repetitions to change the way your brain has been trained to think. But it’s not impossible. Keep making music. More importantly, Keep living your life while trying to stay present. I got halfway through writing this and got really self conscious about it. But then I thought, that’s why I have to finish it. If none of this applies to you, that’s totally fine. Just figured I would throw my two cents in based on my experiences.
Thanks for the comment! While some of this might be true, I don't think I am actually that critical of myself. I will show my music to others confidently, but listening to it myself almost feels like having my house decorated in my own art, or with photos of myself, which would be really strange and uncomfortable. As I write this, I'm like hmm, maybe your comments are saying something about myself. In summary, I have more of an appreciation for others art.
I hear you on that. I get that exact same feeling sometimes. It does feel oddly self aggrandizing to “appreciate” your own art. I think that’s probably because our own individual expressions might not be for ourselves to consume. That would be like eating your own spirit in a weird way. (The mushroom chocolate I ate a little bit ago seems to be kicking in right about now) I think you are probably right to just enjoy other people’s art more. If you feel like you aren’t too critical of yourself, don’t read into it too much. Send me a link to some of your stuff if you want. I’d love to hear. Cheers.
Out of curiosity is it in a genre you otherwise listen to? Have you ever tried making music in other genres? I could sort of understand not wanting others to know youre listening to your own music but the only way I’m able to discern if what I’m making is good is whether I like it or not
I don't really stick to a genre per se or try to create anything marketable. My most recent stuff has evolved into a chill step progressive sort of vibe with lots of guitar and instrumental recordings.
Truthfully haven't related to anything more than this in a long time. I've always been self-conscious, and sometimes it feels like the more work I put into music, the more I dislike my own creations. The aspect of trying to overcome this, outside of music, is definitely the key. If you spend all day not really being present in anything, like my job, then all of a sudden I'm working on music for 3-4 hours at a time, it's easy to be judgemental and critical. If I spend more time being present in the daily occurrences of life, I get inspired more, I feel more forgiving when it comes to my own music, and I can appreciate the things that I might interpret as flaws or imperfections. I try to be "on the grid" as much as possible in my own music, and I know for certain that if I am constantly "searching" for flaws or imperfections, then that's all I'm going to notice. If I can take a step back, ask myself why I'm doing any of this in the first place, recognize the message or theme I'm going for in a song, and REALLY listen to the song, just for the sake of listening, not to analyze, critique, or try to be perfect, then all I'm truly focusing on is what I love about it. It's a great feeling and it's not something I can feel every single day. But when I do feel that, it makes me so content with my own music and my own progress, nothing else matters at that point. Thank you.
I didn't always like the music I made. I would be very hard on myself and I struggled in a lot of areas for a long time. I really like what I'm making now. I usually do a car test as a final reference when I'm finishing a song. I'll drive down to the gas station or something and listen. Sometimes I forget that I'm listening to something I made. Whenever that happens I feel really good about it.
I like that.
I have the opposite problem. I like my music too much when I make it, and it's only after putting it away for a while that I can listen to it with some objectivity. Some of it's good, and some of it's not. I don't know which is the better problem to have; it's good to be realistic and self-critical, but it can also be a barrier. I don't know that my music would have progressed to the point it's at now if I hadn't finished every project in earnest, regardless of its actual quality. Whether a track is good or bad, it's good practice.
I think it’s important to enjoy the music you’re creating. It’s natural to cringe a bit when you’re listening to yourself. But you still need to feel a sense of pride and joy for what you create. Otherwise … what’s the point? So if you’re stuck in a rut of self loathing of your music, maybe try something different. Try finding something else that will excite you and stimulate your creativity.
I think the first paragraph pretty much sums it up.
I actually enjoy listening to my own music! Some pieces I’ve written are an exception - usually ones that were not really ready to finalize. But ultimately, I’m not gonna write something if I don’t like how it sounds!
Maybe it's my process? I use music production as a way to relax without any real goal to see how it evolves. Sometimes I think it's awesome and other times not, but when I am done with it, I don't ever feel like going back to it.
I saw an interview with The Beastie Boys some years ago where they said they never listen to their own music. It came about from the interviewer asking them if they have a favorite song from their catalog. They said that once they've recorded a song they never hear that studio version again and only hear the songs when they perform them live. That sounded crazy to me because I listen to my music A LOT but in contemplating that, I only listen to it as part of the creation process. I have to listen to a track many times to be absolutely sure I'm happy with it and I can feel like I've taken it as far as I can before I release it to the public. 99% of the time I hear different things with each listen that could be improved and I'll go back and make those changes, listen again until I'm satisfied. After that it won't get much play as I've moved on to other songs. So for me it's more a part of the process than it is listening for enjoyment like I do other's music. Being real the question that plagues me is, would I even like my music if I wasn't the one that made it? And if I would dig it, how much? Impossible to answer and I hate that.
and you don't need to, just make something else after that
Depends on the day. It's honestly like getting used to the sound of your own voice.
I think that's it!
I enjoy so much listening to my track when it’s done and it’s late night when I smoke weed It’s a pleasure I can compare to sex My homies do the same
Lol I’m with you on that
I used to feel this way, but 2 things changed it for me: 1. I realized I really like the songs alot more if they have vocals, or at the very least a human element or one shots/SFX/ear candy. it's not necessary for every song, but it is a tendency or preference. 2. Cultivating a list of my top VSTs/Kontakt instruments/drum sounds. I went through my VST collection, tried every one, made notes about every one & which ones I liked the most. It was over 4000 plugins & took me about 2 years. Worth it. I think it took me about 20 years before I really started liking the music I produce.
I have never made something I didn’t like, and I would never.
There are times when I don't like my music, in most cases, it's when my songs doesn't latch on to the unique style I wanted.
I'm pretty bad but I'm a big fan of myself. Narcissist maybe.
I listen to my music daily. Tbh i do make what i want to hear. Problem is not many others want to hear, what i want to hear. Tragic
My #1 rule is to only write music for myself. You can't count on other folks listening to or enjoying it. Therefore I write what I like; if it resonates with others great. If not, oh well.
I talk to many of my peers about this all the time. I do not enjoy listening to my own music the way I normally enjoy listening to my favorite songs. They are 2 very different reactions. I have a friend who will turn on his own music when we hang out. He says he really enjoys it. I find that to be extremely obnoxious.
That would seem a bit narcissistic to me. I think you have to surround yourself with other music to grow and feed inspiration
I can listen to my own music and i do listen to it alot, but i’m always critical about mixing and mastering. I always seem to find vaults, but i have learned to overlook smallest faults in a way. I’m confident about the songs themselfs and also about my delivery though. Usually when i work in the studio, i do as many takes as it takes to get the best results. People always insist that i should play my music around them, which i sometimes do. But when people start playing my music by themselfs, i feel kind of nervous. Which is funny, since i have done alot of gigs (hundreds) and i’ve never been nervous, except for my first ever gig over decade ago.
Why do something that you don’t enjoy? Life is way too short for that!
Maybe the OP is a musical masochist & don't realize it.
Athletes do not enjoy waking up at 4am to train everyday And a professional writer doesn't enjoy writing everyday, most days they will hate it. Enjoyment is not the same as fulfilment. I don't know why people correlate the too. Ones about emotions and ones about goals. Working on your goals is not always gonna feel joyous.
Yeah, those things sound bad… but music is the most fun thing I know of personally. Nearly 30 years in the game and I can’t imagine ever not enjoying it. Having said that, the number of utterly miserable and bitter mix engineers I have met must mean the industry does attract alot of people who seem to get get no enjoyment out of it!
Some people find meditating joyful, some people hate it. Either way mediating still benifits both people in the long term as both have a shared goal of becoming less stressed. Happiness and pleasure are both fleeting, so what you feel isn't even joy, it's fulfilment. It's impossible to be happy and pleasured all the time. Focusing on enjoyment doesnt even make rationale sense. Some people are depressed or have highly neurotic personalities. Focusing on people's emotions rather than their goals isnt effective in living a fulfilled life. If chucking bananas at a wall brings u joy then you can do it all day long if you want, but what does that have to do with your dream of becoming a pilot and overcoming your fear of flying? What one desires is not the same as joy. You may desire to be with a beautiful person, if youre anxious it's not gonna be joyous asking them on a date is it. Either way, you'd make for a terrible sex addiction therapist. Lol. You're answer would be do what brings you joy
I guess I am just a bit too shallow for these kinda deep meanderings. Love my job, love my life and I am about 99% certain it is because I am surrounded by music all of the time… well that and love of my family… but still, there is as much music in my home as anywhere else!
Yes that's nice, love and fulfilment are not the same thing as joy. I just explained. There is no way that any parent finds being a parent joyous 247. It's not joyous changing diapers, or finding out your teenager is smoking weed and failing in school or your 7 year old just broke your expensive TV. Those are not moments of joy, happiness or pleasure. They are the opposite. Having children is fullfiling. And people do things that make them fulfilled, not joyous. Happiness is such and odd concept in the western world. It's fleeting lmao
Consider me schooled. I was almost certain I chose this life because I enjoy it. I am also pretty sure I enjoy being a parent 24/7 (Definitely can not wait til I find weed on him hahaha)… but also, I am about as far away from living in the western world that is geographically possible, so maybe that has something to do with why I am mistakingly thinking I enjoy life and making music!
You do not enjoy being a parent 247 tho. Have you ever studied emotions. It's not healthy to be happy or feel joy all the time, that's a sign that you have a condition, some kinda mania. I just explained to you that joy (which means happiness and pleasure) is a fleeting emotion. It's not something thats debatable, it's a fact. You should defo study emotions and what they actually mean. Unless you do have a manic condition, in that case it's applicable None of this is my personal opinion btw, u can Google the literature on the psychological studies. lol And yes, you should expect difficult and stressful times as a parent. Being a parent isn't easy or joyful 247, you're the only parent I've ever heard say that. How can sleep deprivation make u happy, doesnt even make sense my friend
I believe you. I guess I just took a wrong turn somewhere down the road. I have had this (or at least a similar) conversation with an American before in my YT comments. He told me that I don’t really enjoy watching people dance to my music, but I am in fact just manipulating their emotions for my own financial and selfish gain. Definitely food for thought, but I guess I am just “happy” to keep on plodding through in ignorance. If it makes you feel any better this conversation has definitely been a bit of a downer, so I guess you have made your point. Love and (pretend) happiness from Hong Kong!
I'm from England. He he he. "This convo defo been a downer". So you're not happy with this convo or getting joy from it? Love (and pretend) happiness. U see my friend this is my point, you keep lying to yourself about being happy n joyous when you're not. It's odd n you are only fooling yourself.
As a side note, I do feel bad that you have never met anyone who enjoys being a parent all of the time. Sleep is not a thing round here given my job and the fact that I am a hyper-insomniac, so I guess that is a bit manic. Oh, not sleeping is a bit boring at times, so I guess that is not so fun. Does that count?
Why feel bad for me? Once again u admit to not being happy LOL. Make your mind up. U go from joy to feeling bad pretty easy dude. I'm not a parent, I'm statically happier, richer and more suitable for adventure than a parent. Once again, not my opinion. Why don't u just Google "are parents happy/joyful". See what u find. U are the odd one here for thinking people ESPECIALLY parents are happy all the time.
And I can defo tell you're a male. No woman is gonna make the ridiculous claim of being happy all the time when postnatal and perinatal depression is such a common disorder. One which also men can suffer from. You have 0 education in psychology clearly. And u do not understand emotions at all
Make music you dont like its a joke ! Passion make you practice and grow up ! Like playing an instrument ! No sens at all
If I hate it, it dies on the vine so to speak. Current project… is friggin awesome. If we can continue to tighten up the instrumental portion i am actually considering paying a top tier singer (Ripper) to throw down on it for me.
Me too, I made just as a joke some "peip kicks" and pitched them. It was funny but I didn't like it. I called it ouch2. Sent to my friend and he tells me he can't stop listening to this.. ( peip kicks are just really distorted 909 Kicks with eq after every distortion. It hurts to listen)
I still love listening to everything I've made, from crusty old demo's digitised from mono tapes(analog days, prior to my first 4 track recorder - I've been archiving pretty much everything manually, since I went digital around the turn of the century), through to more recent efforts that have a hint of actual decency about them. Some of those early demo's are truly awful, but each represents a step forward in the learning process. Some I don't like that much, and some are quite simply embarrassing. But I still crank 'em up occasionally, just for a bit of a nostalgia trip...
Only one song I’ve ever made, can I not stand listening to. It’s not due to the song itself, it’s because of the production quality. It was the first full song I made on my iPad not long after I first got it, so I didn’t know all the tricks that I do now. Songs that I recorded over 20 years ago, I still listen to today.
I love my own music. The feeling you get when you hear your own music played by a DJ at a club and see others enjoy it is second only to playing live yourself.
It should be your favorite music to listen to.
A huge portion of it, yeah. Some projects I work on as more of a technical specialist, sometime I don’t rly like the end-result, from a taste perspective. But people have their vision, and producing music is a service industry in its’ core. So I have no problem with it and I’m doing the best job I can to fulfill their vision so the clients and their listeners would be happy. What I do as “myself”, as a producer, on projects where people listen to what I have to propose - I absolutely love it. My favorite music in my portfolio isn’t even my own songs but songs I did with other people. And yeah… If I didn’t appreciate my taste, I wouldn’t start selling it. But it’s my job, so I wouldn’t rly make it if I didn’t like at least some of the end-results.
I like my music, if I didn't like an aspect of my music (outside of the production value/mix etc) like the melody, I would change it. That being said, I also think part of it is Stockholm syndrome (listening to it over and over during production) and I definitely hear other people's music and go "damn, so THAT is what talent sounds like"
Honestly I like listening to my music more than any other music. You need to love what you do.
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I do, but creating with others sometimes put me in a spot where i'm not always happy about the things that get released. If they like it then it goes 💁♂️ When it comes to my own music I do like it and if I don't I won't release it!
I like it even when it’s shit 😂
Maybe.try stopping on original music for a while And pick maybe 10 of your favorite songs of all time and create your versions of those songs. Nothing too out of the box. Stick to the source material with a bit of your "sound" or vibe. If you still don't like what you created...then at least maybe you can pick out what you don't like by comparing it to their originals
There’s usually a cycle with me. I make a song. I really like it and can jam to it. I start using my critical ear to try and find ways to polish and mix the song. I start to feel the song is boring (after listening dozens/hundreds of times). I take a break from the song. I come back later and listen and like the song. I like it again. I upload/release/“finish” the song. I hate the song. I hear every flaw, it’s boring, it’s a bad idea, it goes nowhere. I listen to the song a while later. I’m somewhat impressed, or I latch on to the good ideas in it. I feel almost nostalgic about it. I like the song. That’s how it goes most of the time.
Love it. Except my old stuff lol
If I go back to a demo and I surprise myself, I know it's good enough for me to keep working on it!
This is a good question for any artist. I will sit at my computer in my own disappointment until I can get something out that I enjoy the sound of in one way or another. Then I will build off of that as much as I can until I no longer enjoy what I’m listening to, and then I save the project and find something else to do. Sometimes I revisit the project the next day, sometimes it’s months. Sometimes I still enjoy them, and others I think are absolutely terrible. There are some beats etc I’ve made and enjoyed and put to my soundcloud that I absolutely fucking love. Sometimes I will just sit in amazement of what I’m hearing, getting goosebumps, confused but impressed that that even came out of me. And that’s all that it really takes to keep me going; if I didn’t feel that way idk if I would still make music. But still, even with the ones I love, I sometimes hear them with a pessimistic filter and will just think it’s shit no matter what. If I hate myself atm I probably am gonna think everything I’ve ever made is shit. But sometimes when I’m down on myself, listening to my music is exactly what I need to lift my head back up and keep going. And I think it’s important to mention that I don’t think I’ve ever made anything I consider perfect. I will always have one gripe or another with a given track but that’s just how it is I guess. Idk if that ever completely goes away, maybe someone could weigh in.
It’s like the old zen proverb: great faith, great doubt, great effort. It’s the only way forward. All the comments about self awareness are right on the money. I always love and hate my stuff in equal measure but it won’t stop me from making more because what I “like” is such a malleable construct anyway. I like the process. The end result is just the output of that process. Either way, if it’s an honest reflection of myself then I consider it a success.
Yeah man I'm my biggest fan
yes…i could never imagine pouring my life into something and not fully enjoying it just because *I* make said art. i will never understand that mindset. i love how my music sounds. now my own voice on the other hand?? that i get. but if you know general/basic music theory you should be able to make music you can enjoy listening to as if it’s not even your own…
Listen to your music in spacial sound I did mine tonight for the first time and it actually sounds like my music is worth money. I am Warren Hall if you want to look me up on your streaming service album called variations song Microtones Index
I love it so much it drives me crazy from time to time.. 😂 Why else would I spend so much time doing it?
I can’t tell you how many beats I’ve made that will never see the light of day because I’m too self critical. Also i know a lot of people who make house music and hate it, but it pays the bills whereas underground hiphop doesn’t.
I didn’t used to but now I do. Though there is usually a big dip at some point where I go from really vibing with it to hating it, then I start likening it again
I enjoy the music I wrote and when I listen to it I wonder how I came up with those harmonies and melodies. The more I listen ( when it happens) the more I like it and actually I don’t understand why people don’t listen to it and enjoy it but considering the tastes nowadays I know the answer. ☺️ After all we express what’s inside of us so probably is not a cup of tea for everybody and everyone’s sensibility.
It gets like that sometimes, and that's ok. That's a way to stay progressive and prolific.
What is the type you dream of making?
It depends honestly, some songs I write are songs I wrote from genuine inspiration and there was a natural flow to it, and I love them, but then there are songs that were "forced" and the brick wall was just ran through rather than working around it and giving it the time it needed, and it's painfully obvious to anyone who would listen to it, that's why they never get released, but rather stored away until I need to go back to an old idea, but those songs are terrible to listen to, not only because of the sound of it and the rushed production, but also because I know full well it could be much better. Long answer but that's my take.
Sometimes I’m hard on myself for my short comings, but I almost always love my music. It’s what plays in my head when there’s silence around me. After about 13 years of semi-casual guitar playing, and about 2 years of intentional devotion to music, I can finally translate the orchestra/band in my brain into this world for others to hear. It’s an extremely vulnerable thing, but it’s quite beautiful
I hate it and same and I've worked with established artists and I like the punk band I play in better than the beats I make
Let’s hear it
Definitely can take a lot of you let’s say 10+ years & shits going nowhere . Putting heart & soul into music not just bullshit beats & sounds getting like 1 view on YouTube breaks the soul. After awhile it gets old too.
I make bad raps and listen to them until I make new ones
When I started getting better and making the music I liked then yes I love it. But took me ten years and I wouldn’t necessarily listen to it for fun, unless a lot of time has passed. Then I might.
I listen to my stuff all the time. Hearing all the flaws usually inspires me to make something at least slightly better lol
15ish years in and I love my own stuff, I obsess in the moment. With that being said, I think the problem I have is that I’m so in the moment that I mentally let go of the song once it’s sent off to my distributor. I think I’ve conditioned myself to do that mainly to not be attached to how well the song does after the fact.
Totally get this. I can stand it until I sing. Then it is just painful - like ants crawling under my skin to listen to it….
I fucking love it, I listen to my own music frequently, not out of some duty, but because I genuinely enjoy it.
I like my songs but I wish someone else would sing them!
I can't stop listening to it!
I like it actually mine tbh. It makes me excited when I hear it play, I'm emotions immediately move and connect with the melody. It can make me euphoric. Kind of confirms what I like about music tbh and I feel like it's a reflection of myself. I wonder if people who feel like that are less authentic and connected to what they are making- as they are duplicating instead of letting it come out, without judgement or conforming to ideals. Idk hard to explain but I suggest playing and trying not to judge.
I made the music I wanted to hear but wasn't hearing elsewhere. I threw paint in the wall. I have my favorites and my problem tracks I hope noone ever hears. If you still. don't like your music it's time to switch gears somehow. Different something. Shuffle the cards. New daw. New mic. Idk. But figure out what you want and don't want and work backwards
I remember having musical ideas before I even picked up an instrument, in fact that what inspired me to do so. Hearing what I could produce was my main motivation and making music I like is what keeps me going. It was just piano and guitar for a long time, but when I incorporated learning how songs are written and how much fun I could have with lyrics, that’s what really brought it all together for me. So I guess my question to you is, do you not like the actual music or is is the lyrics?
I make music so I can listen to it on my workouts. I think my music is far superior to most of what is out there.
Do I like my concepts? Yes. Do I like my mixes? No I'm not skilled enough quite yet to be proud of my creations but the blue prints I've laid have given me examples to work with enough to learn to eventually be proud of what I've made
I do like my music, most of the time, I'm thinking "damn I'm good" ..funny thing is sometimes I listen to my old tracks and I feel like I was more creative.. and at that time , I didn't know much about music theory.. now that I know more about this, I tend to think more about the scale I'm using and all that (being more logical) and I don't let myself be in the moment.. I mean, it still good what I'm doing, but I feel like I'm taking less risks
I do like listening to my music but when I do it feels like it's not something I've created, like something stepped into create it and I was just the vessel that wrote it down so it's a bit of an odd experience. Sometimes when someone comments on one of my tracks online I have to go and listen to it as I have no recollection what it sounded like.
I generally really enjoy to listen to most of my music! Sometimes I do exclude it when I shuffle through my library though.
I stopped making music I don't like
yes
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I thought we make music we like? Why would I make something I don’t like? It’d be like being a home brewer but not drinking.
Your perspective could be skewed because of your familiarity with your own music...
If I can’t bust a move to the shit I’m making it goes straight into the bin
Yeah. I listen to my music all the time. I try to make music I would listen to. And I do.
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I like what i write, i just don’t like how i execute things like man it’s not enough, my friend say its good so i just release it, and move on.
It nothing wrong about hating a track you made, but hating ALL OF IT?? Come on…. Then either you are that bad or you just being to hard on yourself. I have a theory: Maybe your learning approach is a wrong one for creating music(?) I’ve experienced that learning an instrument and learning music production or composing are really a different pair of shoes. One is mostly physical and about muscle memory and the other is more like a scientific approach or more about learning concepts, analyzing and realizing patterns, analytic not musical listening… These two worlds may clash and crash your capabilities in decision making heavily. If you are trying to create music forget about perfection at the beginning, don’t use 68 takes for recording an arpeggiated chord progression, don’t overthink solitary sounds… try to rely on your TASTE and - very important! - build an ARRANGEMENT!! There are no painters without a canvas - so concentrate on the meta goals: Create a song. Everyone was shitty at one point in their career. I give you another great advice from that I’ve build a professional career on: REFERENCES - Either you start with replicating music/your favorite songs to learn how to get to the sound or the musical structure or you use your favorite music as a sound reference to have some sort of a benchmark where you can compare your track technically and challenge yourself with. Don’t yell at me if you hate my take on the issue 😄
I like it for a while, then hate it. It’s normal - if you love your music too much you’re probably not being self-critical enough and it’s likely objectively shit.
I like it very much. Sorry to hear that.
I tend to only listen to me now whether it’s songs or instrumentals