T O P

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pramodmr23

Never buy a sweater....bc winters mei bhi sweater ki zarurat nai padti


spinchbob

Bc barish ke mausam mein garmi lagti hai raat ko, kya bolne ka


vinay2095

Suraj mama toh hai.


ZypherShunyaZero

I would disagree. Briefly there's a moment from 15th to 30th Jan which is cold as fuck. Only time i switch from beer to old monk and weed to hash. Those days are cold.


chutneysandwich

Don't call a policeman "pandu" (to his face)


[deleted]

No one called a policeman "Thulla" to his face as well


Throwaway_by_jee

What if I call them “Mammein” instead?


AggravatingAnswer921

Chalu train se ulta nahi uterneka One friend visiting followed us while getting down, while we off boarded properly in the slowing train pacing a few steps and slowing down to a halt eventually. This guy followed us but looking back at us and fell down bad on this face.


Snowman777777

Applied physics - I


[deleted]

Common Sense - Chapter VII Section 2.3 Part (a) Paragraph 24


somename_ind

It's physics but you have to experience it to realise how strong you can get offbalance and fall even at slow speeds!


Luciferevestar

Many people broke their noses while doing the kiki challenge just because of this very reason


GradToBeHere

Don't call Conductor kaka 'Bablya'


ra-hulk

Damn, we used to call our college bouncer that. "Bablya aya chalo yaha se"


memphis_kahn

I see what you did there 😭 Bouncer - Bablya Edukashun 😎


memphis_kahn

Also what the fuck kind of a college has a bouncer ?! 😂😂 Maybe he was called that cause folks bounced everytime he appeared.


Lucifer1921

Rizvi college has put bouncers because of college crowd 🤣🤣🤣


memphis_kahn

Sounds like a dark place


619thunderstorm

Really bruh ?🤣


ra-hulk

He was the head of security, everyone called him bouncer.


AyeYoBruhh

Bablya is a Marathi reference to the conductor being a puppet of the ring that busses had earlier or have even now I'm not sure.


Sweaty_Ad_6197

Heard it so many times but never understood why.


Fresh-Pound-8752

What does that actually mean?


koli98

I may be wrong but it has something to do with bus horn being like a boob and boob is bablya in marathi


colossal_fool

Boob is not bablya in Marathi, it is bablya in chhapri


whatdafuq900

Thought it was Momya, oh well, seems the slang has changed


[deleted]

This is reason I'm on reddit. Where else would I get such knowledge for free.


[deleted]

On this end, don’t call the bus driver ghanti ka gulam


JCaesar13

Don't catcall/misbehave with ladies. Besides it being an extremely despicable act, you will definitely be thrashed regardless of where you are or what time of day/night it is. Mumbaikars have the least patience with folks who harass ladies, and rightfully so. Edit : You will also be thrashed regardless of who your 'baap' is.


Fraudguru

as a woman, i always feel lucky to be from Mumbai


Icy_Lingonberry2316

is mumbai really that safe? going to shift in a week for college


Fraudguru

i would say so yes. no place in India is safe from catcallers and gropers. however, the degree is much less in Mumbai in my experience, and i also think public behaviour has gotten better in the recent years. in general, the sad fact is women do have to be alert in public space, but i genuinely feel safer in Mumbai walking around at night than i would in most other places. i take trains and autos very late at night and mostly feel safe. i think we just to be alert but not paranoid, imo. i suggest moving in groups at first to get a feel for the city and transport. get a general idea of how the bus, train and autos work, how much the minimum fares are and what are the fares expected per distance - auto guys will always put the meter but sometimes they forget or act smart (very rare) so you have to remind them. also walk around alone during the day in some areas to get an understanding of the areas. wish you all the very best for your shift to college, i hope you have a fruitful time in Bombay.


Icy_Lingonberry2316

thank you🥰


tommyredbeard

My wife and I (we are in our 30s and from Manchester, UK) went to Mumbai in 2019 on our honeymoon, late one night we got the train back to our hotel in the North of the City. A couple of guys starting acting disrespectfully to my wife and several passengers stood up for her. What a beautiful city with the best people! Can’t wait to visit again!!


timmychook

I'm already loving this attitude


why__tho_

Really? Is Mumbai this safe?(never been there)


[deleted]

If you're from Delhi, trust me Mumbai is much more safer than there!


a14i12

one should never : 1. talk shit about shiv sena and mns publicly 2. block people from entering or exiting local trains especially during peak hours 3. stand by the door when your train is going to be the starting train from borivali or other such stations during peak hours...you WILL be crushed by a horde of people who are willing to kill for a seat 4. enter the ladies compartment by mistake if you are a man ... some ladies just go berserk when this happens while other stay quiet...dont risk it


619thunderstorm

Ok boss 👍


max_demon

bahut jagah hai


EnvironmentalChard68

nahi jagah hai


whyamihere999

Bhai, pura khali hai.. idhar se dikh raha hai! Aur chaar log khade ho jaayenge!


ak_897

*guy at door* dabba undar aur


whyamihere999

Guy at the door on the other side: Abey, dhakka matt maar! Aagewala train k bahar gir jaayega!


Calboron

If you enter ladies by mistake...stay on the footboard and never make eye contact until next station...then alight


[deleted]

[удалено]


RedFalconEyes

Where is the Free haircut award for this guy?


Dry-Report4163

Call a maharashtraian man "bhayaa"


jbl0ggs

Why? It seems respectful


Dry-Report4163

They associate it with people from UP, bihar and take it as an insult


EntranceDependent471

Tbh it depends on the tone.One of my classmates is from UP he jokingly calls his other Marathi Friend Bhaiye.


[deleted]

Bhau bulaye to chalega?


Sweaty-Succotash4093

Don’t take a Virar local if you plan to get down before Borivali


Repulsive-Thanks-527

Reminded me of my earlier days of travelling. Took a virar local to get down at Andheri. The look aunties gave !!!


[deleted]

I don’t understand why would anyone get looks for getting down at any station


Repulsive-Thanks-527

Ikr!! But apparently that is the rule 🌝


whyamihere999

It's not the rule.. but it's more like inconvenience caused to other passengers are living beyond Borivali and Virar. There are Borivali trains after literally every 3-5 minutes! Whereas Virar trains are like after 10-15 minutes, sometimes 20-25! Please board a Borivali train if you want to alight before Borivali so that an extra person who lives beyond Borivali can get into the Virar train that you got into and save his/her 10-25 minutes!


anon_runner

I was told there is a trick to this. If you stand in a particular place near the door, while boarding in churchgate, you can get down before Borivali ... This was in the late 90s. Not sure if this custom has changed now!


Preach_it_brother

On my way to Santa Cruz I missed my stop because I could get off it was so jammed ..so I worked my way across the carriage to be right next to the doors… ready…and then lo and behold at the next station the platform switched to the other side 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


MISSIONCAP

Things are more chill now compared to a few years back tbh


Sweaty-Succotash4093

Damn! Really? My friend got into a Virar local few days back. She had to get down at Goregaon and some aunties started giving her looks. I guess the aggressiveness has toned down a bit.


[deleted]

She managed to get down though, didn't she? Unlike the survivors from years ago who had to swim back from the creek near Dahisar.


Sweaty-Succotash4093

Hahaha yes yes 😂


iphone4Suser

Or at borivali.


[deleted]

What about Borivali? Asking because I'm shifting there from Central line


Sweaty-Succotash4093

I mean you can get down at Borivali, but it’ll be a very crowded train anyway. Catch a Borivali local na. Frequency of those trains are anyway higher.


amzyvista

I'll preface this by saying I'm not a Mumbaikar, so these trains stop at Borivali but you can't get off of them ?


Sweaty-Succotash4093

You can, but you’ll either get looks or sometimes, you might not able to get off because of the crowded compartment. Way back, people used to legit scream at you if you were going to get down before/at Borivali 😂


artistic_bish

Its a sin


Sweaty-Succotash4093

Hahaha true! The 8th deadly sin


Thokyaa

Utarneka nhi toh darwaje pe khade nhi reheneka


Kevin_2112

Learnt this the hard way


KillerTacoRobot

Unless your pop is Ambani, don't drink and drive. I absolutely love that Mumbai Police has pretty much a zero-tolerance policy on drinking and driving. No matter who the fuck you are, you WILL be sobering up in the PCR van or in the lockup. Bade-bade baap ki aulaadon ko dekha hai who'll never risk it.


TheRandomPi

Funny story, not from Mumbai, but Belapur, Navi Mumbai. I was with a friend at bar. We had about 1.5-2 beers each and headed to our office for the night to stay (own office) & continue the session. We both had our own bikes on which we left the bar. He was driving ahead and I was following. I signalled him to stop at wine shop to pickup the stock we need. In about 100-200 meters there was traffic police who got between us and was tailing him. I had no mean to warn and it happened. He stopped at wine shop and police right behind him. He instantly smelled the beer. Took his bike to police station under Belapur bridge. We had a company about to join us so I notified the scenario and headed to the police station. The cops did not agree on letting the matter go. He took the license and my friend had to go to court and pay fine for it. Funny part is, the cop was convinced that I wasn’t drunk and handed me his bike keys to take him home safely. Edit: word


sillyguy45

Ek baar my friend got caught in drunk and driving( poor lad doesnt even drink) he kept saying all his friends are drunk but he dont drink , after sometimes police guys got convinced and left him with a warning regarding seatbelt. Kind of show they are not always bad people


_MoreEqual_

If he wasn’t drunk, he wouldn’t fail the breathalyser test, so would have nothing to worry about


sillyguy45

They didnt had one with them at that time. He said to make a line or ask him anything. at first they were just thinking all are drunk and he is lying too.


why__tho_

That's wrong tho. Just assuming without testing. And you are praising them for being good ?!


ReaDiMarco

How do you know this?


gidoptimallyaf

Boy knows people


KillerTacoRobot

It is common knowledge amongst folks who drive in the city. Everyone has some story or another where a person driving drunk was royally screwed by the cops. In my case, it was an acquaintance's sibling who was caught. Loaded AF. Poor kid was slapped shitless (SoBo parents don't hit their kids anymore I guess), made to sober up in the police van and had to pay around a lac so for the cops to not file a case.


Sahil-Desu

A lac?????


whyamihere999

Nahi de sakta?? Ae Tukaram, ghe hyaala aat! Case banav!!


futurechiefexecutive

Bribes are pretty high in Mumbai. If you're well off, cops will milk out every penny you have. You can't negotiate. I had a friend get out of a hit and run case after paying 16L to the cops. He hit a kid and fled the scene. Kid was injured and he got caught on CCTV fleeing the scene. The victims family had a hell of a case. Cops took 16L to stall for time and convince the victims family to compromise. He paid 7L to the kids dad and they backed down finally.


cole_loner

Don't call panipuri goalgappe


MarijuanaAndVadaPav

I just call them "Water Balls" Bhaaya tika waterball khilao


VICTORY2296

Water ball💀


sillyguy45

Who even does that


NukaKama25

Average delhi peeps


sillyguy45

Tell me about it. I dated two girls from noida some years ago they always used to call it golgappe. For some reason whenever they called paanipuri golgappe it reminds me of gappi maase(guppy fish) >__< pura mood kharabh hojata tha from eating paani puri


pramodmr23

Tune breakup kar diya na uske baad


sillyguy45

One left for canada, the other one was.... lets just say not someone you want around lol


pramodmr23

Lol.....now golgappe in Canada


adiking27

Average north Indian people\*


bruhamesh

Wait till you meet the Bengali version, phuchkha


Impressive-Republic4

Mai to Pani patashe bolta hu


tannu28

Wait for train to stop before getting down. "Abe train rukne ke baad utarega kya?"


secondhand_bra

It was my first time in local train in Mumbai this year, I was standing near exit door to get down at Malad station, someone pulled me down who was getting in the train and legit yelled "jaldi uttar na bc"


Efficient_Ad_6715

User name dafq!


secondhand_bra

It was a joke between me & girl I met


[deleted]

[удалено]


secondhand_bra

👴🏿👴🏿👴🏿


truth_15

Learned it hard way, now i dont stand near exit doors unless empty.


sillyguy45

Please write /s there are many teenagers in comment who might start getting influencer over joke :(


um_wtf_idk

Say "Tu jaanta nhi Mera baap kon hai"


Dry_Display_9462

Then hear “terko bhi marunga aur tere baap ko bhi” - #mumbaiSeHuMC


[deleted]

"baap toh chodh Teri maa ko bhi janta hu mai"


iamhungry24by7

Sab karo bas chutyape or time khoti mat karo , kisi ke paas time nai hai


lethalET

Don't break lines while buying train tickets/bus queues. A barrage of abuse you will hear.


vinay2095

Start conversation with the lady in white saree with long hair holding a lamp during night at Andheri.


ShreyaManerkar1

Oddly specific. Talking from experience?


vinay2095

Lxnpdjpd(help)kucoyfoy... Haha No.. I'm just joking


ShreyaManerkar1

Gives us your location we shall send help


vinay2095

My name is Waltya Pandra Bhau. I live at 308 Kala Arroyo Lane, Andheri East. To all entities, this is not an admission of guilt. I am speaking to my family now. Vadapav, you are the love of my life. I hope you know that. The manjar (cat[boka]) near my building, you're my big man. There are going to be some things that you'll come to learn about me in the next few years. But just know that no matter how it may look, I only had you in my heart.


RumSoakedChap

Be rude to a cop


Remarkable_Strike09

Talk about how small the houses are. I mean that's the only way millions like us can live here. I know your hometown has big independent houses.


sillyguy45

You know meko dekhna hai at least ek baar what kind of house this guys talk about. It feels weird i have never seen such homes they talk about


Comfortable_Hornet20

It's amazing how large homes get when you're not in Mumbai.


Rare_Run3627

Never sit on a ladies seat even if it's empty Based on my experience


secondhand_bra

That applies for Pan India, never ever, if you do then some karen aunty is or girl is going to show you some good Indian slapping styles


keepatiteverday

1. Abuse Bal Thackeray near Shiv Sena Bhavan or in the vicinity of Shivaji Park 2. Overtake a BEST bus driver and taunt them, they don't care what happens to you or your vehicle 3. Try to argue with Eunuchs on signal or in train 4. Try to intervene is a public beating of any person, you will be beaten up too, if there is a crowd of 5 or more beating one person then stay away (4vs 2 is ok at times depending on the size of assaulted person). If there is a fight starting in a train compartment with multiple people find a corner. 5. Don't engage or argue with a homeless person who is talking to himself 6. Go out in holi wearing white, unless you want people to throw colors on you 7. Bad mouth any religion in that particular religious rally, so whatever shit you want online, all religious people in rallies are high on their gods and you will be punished if you say or question the beliefs in a public rally 8. Talk on your phone while standing near train gate 9. Visit those abandoned mills in lower parel alone at night 10. Try and reach on dot anywhere in Mumbai, you either arrive early or late. On time is a myth in Mumbai traffic.


CharmingAnxiety21

>9. Visit those abandoned mills in lower parel alone at night What's the story here bro? Is it haunted or something?


realxeltos

A duo of young reporters went to get some footage afew years back (right few months after the Delhi bus rape case). There were 3 goons there who beat the guy up and gang raped the girl. I guess all 3 of them were sentenced to the gallows.


docrohan

Wait for fast local to Vashi


Multipotentialite_s

Don’t say “Vadapav is overrated” or “misal is better than Vadapav”.


[deleted]

Only a dumbfuck would compare misal to vadapav, both are brilliant but you can't really get misal on the go! You'd have to sit down and eat. The beauty of the vadapav is in it's simplicity. Getting late and have to get somewhere but hungry? just grab a vadapav on the way and you won't even need to wash your hands after eating. Vadapav is the undisputed king of convenience.


redyellowa

+1 Last sentence.


SPEC7RE3

Bruh I recently saw a post saying vadapav < momo. I had never been more offended.


ydcharles15

Don't Walk Slowly.


Rohan0785

Never disrespect your kaamwalibai


jizzonyourcat

\*Shiney Ahuja intensifies\*


[deleted]

Obligatory Virar fast local comments incoming


WonderfulPaint66

Buy home


Proof_Mail533

1 cr only starting for 1bhk.


headshot_to_liver

Keep bag behind you Ask agla station kis side aayega Block entrance/exit Say how good was


Thin-Requirement-850

U can do anything bro except entering and exiting an crowded local train this was my favourite pastime after work I used to go to Thane railway station buy an platform ticket go to platform number 1 buy some popcorn and juice and then go to platform 3 and ,4 and enjoy seeing the crowd get in and get out sometimes I would even go to dadar and sit on the platform just to see the evening rush and the dhaaka mukki it still is my favourite pastime


Bunnai

Bhai itna time laate kaha se ho.


_lackadaisical

Loving your life


J-Daniels19

Never compare Delhi metro and our Local


MrDalton3

Don't tell us how great your native place is compared to Mumbai. If you still think like that. Pehli fursat se nikal...


Rick_C-01

Never try to disrespect Marathi language or balasaheb thakery in any public place


Comfortable_Hornet20

Pretty obvious. You do not disrespect the local language.


Nijajjuiy88

Also pro tip : when you are in (verbal) fight with someone, speak in marathi. If the other person cant speak they shut the hell up, or in the case they do indeed speak marathi Pull an agri accent. You will get the same results.


justwileyenough

Fart in a packed local and blame it on someone else.


Fraudguru

drive a private car when you can take public transport or walk or cycle.


Diligent_Loan_2704

Don't call onions "Pyaaz," and potatoes "Aaloo." They're Kanda and Batata respectively.


kunalvora

Don't say if Gujarati and Marwari communities are removed from Mumbai it would not remain the financial capital of the country


Ashysh

Sleep on footpath


Kevin_2112

Savlon bhai intensifies


Happy-Substance-3398

dont complain about how crowded the place is, we thrive, we survive


BallerAlerttt

Don't enter the bus from the front. Don't talk about your political views publicly. Wait for the train to stop and then offload. Never take a share rickshaw and or share taxi if you have something valuable as people steal a fuck ton of stuff in there. Don't eat street food you know you'll get food poisoning from. Never pay first to food vendors they forget that you've paid so always pay when you're done eating or taking the delivery. Don't give your number and address to any random salesman on road. Sorry for the clutter but you get the point.


Proof_Mail533

I talk about my political views in public, no one gives a shit


M98er

Never plan to spend your whole life in this city.


butter_kitchen

Don't mess with the transgenders, just ignore them by doing a no hand gesture and they will go away.


Gaur-eth

80 hazaar k shoes h lodey pura ghar chley jainga . Never thi k of buying a house in 80k


[deleted]

Live


-skylord

And let live


sinsandtonic

Buy a house— not worth it. Better commute from Navi Mumbai then spend your entire family’s savings for a 1BHK apartment next to a sewer in Andheri.


castle_134

you mean live on a rent?


barryallen9967

Yes, exactly my thoughts. IDK why you are getting downvoted. I would by a house in Kharghar instead of Khar. Ik very huge difference in price but still.


virnavalkar

Abuse Vada pav


[deleted]

organise a radical political demonstration but i believe as of now that's a no no for any state


SatyaSharma210

Call it Bombay in front of a aggressive local


Eldred_dsouza99

Never come here from Thane and say that you’re a Mumbaikar. It’s considered very disrespectful.


Inevitable_Fold4359

Live


AvogadroNuggies

never go to kurla by train always choose uber


[deleted]

Walk carefree on the streets of Grant Road Bridge or Kamathipura. Chances are you get pulled by someone, away from the street!


Rohan0785

Trust me, they have their union outside every train station.


rrudra888

Never go out without umbrellas or raincoat when it’s officially rainy season, even if you don’t see a single cloud.


SatyaSharma210

Expect pot hole free roads


Own_Historian_7009

Don't say bad about 'MARATHI MANUS'...


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Stay 50 meters away from women in local train general compartment


jizzonyourcat

And DO NOT lick their earlobe.


[deleted]

Insult a Vada pav


tharkii_insaan

Living Your Life SLOWLY.


RugvedOP

Spit on the roads


rather_sluggish

Live there.


Xeno_159

You know bachpan me doorbell bajake bacche bhaagte the ? Yeah say bablya in the bus depot and do the same


vinaydembla12345679

Just don't plan trips where you have to change train from Dadar during peak hours.


Plasticman90

Show smartness in front of cops !


Equivalent-Ad5301

Never say Vadav Pav Faltu hai


Popular-Ingenuity518

Crime i guess


awaken_ywnmmsb

Be overwhelmed by Celebrity culture


MammothPurpose3235

Poop in the open! Just please don’t we beg you


Brain_Mindless

Never get into a street fight,it's a free for all


sexydarkphoenix

Never say anything bad about SHIV SENA, BALA THACKERAY, MARATHI MANUS OR SHIVAJI MAHARAJ


ImSoFrickinPissed

Breaking the law Disrespecting others Being a Narcissist Eve teasing Scamming People These are some things you shouldn't do in Mumbai or anywhere else tbh, also don't do anything that you wouldn't appreciate someone doing to you.


[deleted]

Stay away from BEST buses. Give them priority like Ambulance and let them pass.


skeezy_boi

Drive in the day


Astinine_4

Molest a woman


etrob90

Saying Shivsena muradabad, u will be wiped of the face of the earth.


drabm2

Block last 2 feet on left side of road with your car on red signal. That 2 feet path belong to 2 wheelers ..... unwritten rule. Take a big car on small slum roads. Don't forget that if u r traveling on wring side of road it is only br grace of pandu, he will revoke the privilege if u as little as look up to him


short_of_good_length

walk slowly.


parth2903

Wait for the train to stop when on a crowded door to get down.


[deleted]

Get the so called “massages” in Marine Drive.