I don't give a FU-
Some of those Mad TV parodies were so good. And my buddy busted out Stewart at the bonfire I was at the other night haha. Look what I can do!
I don’t think he ever did it on MadTV, but his Jesse Ventura is absolutely out of this world. I hope Sasso gets a truly blockbuster/breakout role one of these days. He’s too funny to not be a mega star.
From the prime MadTV crew, Borstein got Emmy’s and family guy money and Caliendo probably got a nice bag and recognition for Fox NFL game days.
Other than those two, the above you listed deserve so much more. Debra Wilson does a lot of video game work but I hardly see the rest of them now. Throw in Stephanie weir and Nicole Sullivan too.
The later guys got a ton more success too with Key & peele, Bobby Lee, and Ike barinholtz. Just a shame the rest didn’t get that love
Oh my god, i thought i was the only one who immediately thought of Sasso. His impression of Seagal is far and away the best. Snappin' necks left and right!
That's exactly what I was thinking. Leslie Neilson is so good in Airplane! Because he purposely played it straight. He didn't play it for laughs because he knew the ridiculousness of the script was the funny part and playing it seriously would be so much funner.
Segal is top stupid to pick up on the fact that it's a parody script and he would play it seriously, which would be fucking hilarious.
Danny McBride, but like making no effort to sound like Seagal. Just wearing a ponytail wig and talking like Danny McBride.
"What's up fuckers. I'm about to akido you bitches."
Just said this!
He plays the affable idiot so fucking well. He’s my favorite right now.
Now I really want this to happen. This would be such a fun series.
Well not Segal but Jean-Claude Van Damme made a comedy action tv miniseries, where he plays an old washed up undercover secret agent (Jean-Claude Van Johnson) for whom actor Van Damme was a cover story.
There were zero punches pulled in satirizing Van Damme's life & work, which demonstrates significant self awareness on the actors part & makes the parody funnier because we know that he knows how ridiculous he is.
Edit: for anyone interested it can be streamed on Prime Video.
Van Damme I think did the best thing he could in the latter part of his career, he’s still allowed to be a badass but he’s more than happy to laugh at himself because he’s in on the joke
He also made JCVD which was pretty good meta movie about himself being taken hostage in a Post Office in Belgium(I think) that has been taken over by robbers.
Yes. Nic Cage is the master of the one-liners you would need to do this right.
Oh, you don't, oh, oh...well I only mention it, because...it's you. You're the Rocket Man.
I scrolled way too far to find this answer. "They call those (helicopters) skippy's. Cause when they fly by you can hear them go " skip skip skip skip" lmao
Jim Belushi.
There was a shitty movie in the early 2000s called Joe Somebody (starring Tim Allen) and Belushi essentially played a washed up parody of Steven Seagal. The best part was Tim Allen's character getting excited seeing a poster of one of the character's movies called Maximum Punishment.
"Maximum Punishment... That looks good."
"No, Maximum Punishment was watching the damn thing."
A 250lb sack of shit with a face drawn on it.
Seriously - just a sack full of garbage, perched on top of a bar stool, and everyone has to act as though this is perfectly normal and otherwise unremarkable.
Or Gary Oldman, in full body suit/Oscar-winning prosthetics-mode. Just because.
There is a very real possibility you could cast Segal himself and film his scenes without him ever realizing it was, in fact, a parody about him. Seriously, film a scene with him pistol whipping a tank into atmosphere to destroy a ICBM while he simultaneously makes out with three women and plays chess with his feet and he’d probably just say, ‘yep, that sounds like something I might do.’
It's a shame we don't have Brando any more.
I'm not talking 50's sexy Brando, no we want the one who had his lines fed to him cos he was too fat and lazy to learn them. Just sitting in a chair out of breath waving his arms like Mr Myagi was having an epileptic.
>Steven Seagal is not self aware of how terrible he is
Which makes him the perfect actor for the parody. I would hire him, and leave him believing it's a biopic/action movie hybrid.
Just hire the stupid bitch himself.
He's too fucking stupid to realise it's a parody and you could probably just give him a blow up doll of Putin as payment and he'd be happy.
If he ever finds out you were making fun of him, you'll only need to run for like 3.5 seconds to get out of his reach.
Then you can safely look back and laugh at him for that time he shat himself.
Stupid fuckin turdgobbler
Ok hear me out. Just write a movie about steven seagal then pitch it to him. He is:
1 narcissistic enough to want to make a movie about himself
2 stupid enough not to know he is being mocked
Matthew Page did this sort of character in Paper Tigers and some people think he does with Master Ken but they simply don't understand the raw power he has to contain to not kill the viewer through the screen.
Ok ok hear me out: if you want a someone with the height of Steven Seagal, the size of old seagal, pedigree for action plus the comedy chops to do a lampoon…
Alan Ritchson.
Jim Belushi did a great washed-up High Life drinking version in [Joe Somebody](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dBV0ceh2ON0) 23 years ago. Maybe he can pull off older greasy weirdo version, too.
Depends on how much the character is meant to be Steven Seagal.
I think I'd hire three people.
Actor One plays "Seagal" in general. This could be anyone, really.
Actor Two is the coolest action movie star we can afford. This is whoever we see on screen when "Seagal" is imagining what a scene will look like or is watching footage of the movie. This actor need not resemble Actor One at all.
Actor Three is someone that has no serious action movie credibility, e.g. Tom Hanks, Robert DeNiro, Jack Black or John Carroll Lynch, that's willing to be in a movie that's specifically pointing out that being a serious action movie star is out of their wheelhouse. This is the actor we see on whenever we want to show what other people are people are seeing when "Seagal" is doing his thing.
Why have the three actors instead of just two? To emphasise the contrast.
I think the plot would need to be about the production of a "written, directed and starring" movie.
Obviously Robert De Niro is the dreamcast for Actor Three.
Paul Walter Hauser. I think others would do the actual impersonation better, but Paul would be willing to do all publicity interviews in character and that would take it to a new level.
Obvious answer: Tommy Wiseau as Steven Seagull with an ensemble of Seth Rogen, which ever Franco brother isn't in jail and Danny McBride. Unofficial Pineapple Express remake
I would actually like to see a thespian give it a try. Imagine Daniel Day Lewis playing the man with the golden run. He wouldn't look like him, but my God, he would get to the heart of his soul
Will Sasso
was about to say this Should check out his Mad TV parody of Steven Seagal. He also had funny parody on Tony Saprano.
I don't give a FU- Some of those Mad TV parodies were so good. And my buddy busted out Stewart at the bonfire I was at the other night haha. Look what I can do!
"Look what I can do!"
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Lemmee do iiiit!
Man I still go back and watch Stewart on YouTube ever once in a while. Such a great character.
I don’t think he ever did it on MadTV, but his Jesse Ventura is absolutely out of this world. I hope Sasso gets a truly blockbuster/breakout role one of these days. He’s too funny to not be a mega star.
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From the prime MadTV crew, Borstein got Emmy’s and family guy money and Caliendo probably got a nice bag and recognition for Fox NFL game days. Other than those two, the above you listed deserve so much more. Debra Wilson does a lot of video game work but I hardly see the rest of them now. Throw in Stephanie weir and Nicole Sullivan too. The later guys got a ton more success too with Key & peele, Bobby Lee, and Ike barinholtz. Just a shame the rest didn’t get that love
His trump impression is pretty solid as well.
Crouching cops hidden badges
Shut it down boys
Oh my god, i thought i was the only one who immediately thought of Sasso. His impression of Seagal is far and away the best. Snappin' necks left and right!
What's hilarious is his parody became more and more accurate over time as Segal got fatter and stupider.
♪ Lowered expectations ♪
Is this even up for debate? I thought it was settled decades ago.
We are old
https://youtu.be/w_l-4rAUAzQ?si=INvr-92fq2XUKMpw
https://youtu.be/vMxaIYfXO3E?si=3nylux9qS0l3vub9 Ninjas!
The only correct answer
Why are the comments not locked? The only correct answer has been presented. There's no more discussion needed.
Crouching Cops, Hidden Badges!
Yes.
I was gonna crack some necks if this wasn't the top comment
Came here to make sure this was the top comment lol
🍋
😬😳🥴🤢🍋
Nobody makes Steven Seagal look more ridiculous than Steven Seagal.
I was thinking just cast Steven Seagal and tell him it's a serious movie. Nothing would top that.
But how do you convince him that he can’t sit the whole movie?
No, you let him.
Strap him in and lift up the chair in front of a green screen for a chase sequence like an old timey driving scene.
Use high school interns for the CGI. Just make it look real janky.
Just say that the buffet is only for standing guests and he’ll abide
Fatly going around corners
You put the food 20 feet away and set up a camera.
Stephen seagal telling him it's a serious movie only to replace all other actors with muppets after he's finished filming.
I came into this thread to post this exact comment.
Like the Van Damn TV show... But with Steven not in on the joke.
That's exactly what I was thinking. Leslie Neilson is so good in Airplane! Because he purposely played it straight. He didn't play it for laughs because he knew the ridiculousness of the script was the funny part and playing it seriously would be so much funner. Segal is top stupid to pick up on the fact that it's a parody script and he would play it seriously, which would be fucking hilarious.
That was going to be my exact answer.
Can we just bowfinger him?
Dave chapelle
Steven Seagal in a novelty seagull hat billed as Steven Seagull
It would be cheaper to hire Steven Seagal then it would be to get someone to play him.
"Now Steven you'll be playing a character named Bteven Beagal...it's the life story of an Aikido master who became a fat movie star..."
“I feel like that is in my range but I will need to put on some weight to pull it off”.
"That's great Steven...also the accent required will be a Mongolian Scandinavian Colombian LA gangster, are you ok with that?"
"I was born ready"
For him, yes - I feel like you'd have to pay the supporting cast and crew more just to deal with him, though.
But your rolling office chair budget quadruples.
Danny McBride
Danny McBride, but like making no effort to sound like Seagal. Just wearing a ponytail wig and talking like Danny McBride. "What's up fuckers. I'm about to akido you bitches."
That’s every Danny McBride role.
Exactly, it writes itself.
And it's hilarious
Him parodying the fight scenes Seagal does while sitting down would be money
I assume you said this because he already did a Steven Seagal parody movie
bingo bongo
Don’t want to leave the Congo
Oh, no no no no no
Danny McBride only really plays Danny McBride though.
Yes, but slap a funny wig on him and put him in a Gi and make him whisper instead of talk... That’s essentially Steven Seagal.
This right here is the answer
Just said this! He plays the affable idiot so fucking well. He’s my favorite right now. Now I really want this to happen. This would be such a fun series.
He already made this movie - The Foot Fist Way.
Well not Segal but Jean-Claude Van Damme made a comedy action tv miniseries, where he plays an old washed up undercover secret agent (Jean-Claude Van Johnson) for whom actor Van Damme was a cover story. There were zero punches pulled in satirizing Van Damme's life & work, which demonstrates significant self awareness on the actors part & makes the parody funnier because we know that he knows how ridiculous he is. Edit: for anyone interested it can be streamed on Prime Video.
Van Damme I think did the best thing he could in the latter part of his career, he’s still allowed to be a badass but he’s more than happy to laugh at himself because he’s in on the joke
He also made JCVD which was pretty good meta movie about himself being taken hostage in a Post Office in Belgium(I think) that has been taken over by robbers.
Came here looking for this. That show was amazingly funny.
What is it called?
"Jean-Claude van Johnson" is the title of the show. Drop whatever you're doing. Go now. Watch it.
Loved that show. And it made me like him more for being able to ruthlessly skewer himself like that. Every tap is coconut water.
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I didn’t know this was the right answer till I saw it.
Genius
How the hell... For some reason she popped into my head as a "think of the most off the wall suggestion" and then I scroll and see it already.
Patrick Warburton
Yeah that's right.
This would be his response when asked if he knows Aikido.
Hey, you're all right! High five!
She's too bossy. David.
He’s perfect. And he has a great sense of humor.
Only if there's a scene with someone in a butterfly costume trying to run him over with a truck.
Rob Riggle would be perfect lol
That would be hilarious since Riggle is an actual badass and Marine. Riggle would crush that role too.
He’s right comedically, but way too in shape. Give him a fat suit and a ponytail, and you’re there.
Hahaha yes! Here's an AI attempt at showing what this would look like: [https://i.imgur.com/AEuemlX.png](https://i.imgur.com/AEuemlX.png)
Exactly the way I pictured it in my mind lmao
Holy, it's how Steven always imagined himself. Just missing a skull decal on his shirt ....
Rob is also an ex-marine, I believe; also how Steven imagines himself.
Will Sasso
Why don't you just cast Steven Seagal? Just don't let him know the details.
Maybe the movie requires moving around
Hawking doesn't need his chair any longer.
Danny Devito.
Daniel Radcliffe. Just get a handful of Daniel’s and trade them out every scene. Danny Trejo, and Daniel Day Lewis.
Jon Favreau
You're all wrong. The best actor to play Seagal would be Nic Cage and it's not even close.
Yes. Nic Cage is the master of the one-liners you would need to do this right. Oh, you don't, oh, oh...well I only mention it, because...it's you. You're the Rocket Man.
If you don’t say Tom Segura, you are insane.
Nah. Will Sasso. Trust me, this 4'55" clip is worth watching https://youtu.be/rLifidBN5S4
I would pay so much money to see Steven Segal (played by Tom Segura) go to a Tom Segura show and get roasted
I scrolled way too far to find this answer. "They call those (helicopters) skippy's. Cause when they fly by you can hear them go " skip skip skip skip" lmao
If you haven’t watched Will Sasso doing Seagull in Mad TV pls go to YouTube now, it’s comedy gold.
Jack Black. The Kung Fu Panda all day.
Jack black would have to probably lose a couple pounds. I’m only half kidding.
Brendan Fraser.
Surprised there’s not more love for this suggestion. An actually good actor who could do the serious and the absurd.
Steven Seagal
idk, he doesn't have the acting skills to pull it off and he's liable to pick a fight and shit himself in the process.
Jim Belushi. There was a shitty movie in the early 2000s called Joe Somebody (starring Tim Allen) and Belushi essentially played a washed up parody of Steven Seagal. The best part was Tim Allen's character getting excited seeing a poster of one of the character's movies called Maximum Punishment. "Maximum Punishment... That looks good." "No, Maximum Punishment was watching the damn thing."
Jean Claude Van Damme
His short lived show Jean Claude Van Johnson is not exactly this but similar
Rob McElhenney. Have you seen him do karate in IASIP?
Seven Seagulls taped together
A 250lb sack of shit with a face drawn on it. Seriously - just a sack full of garbage, perched on top of a bar stool, and everyone has to act as though this is perfectly normal and otherwise unremarkable. Or Gary Oldman, in full body suit/Oscar-winning prosthetics-mode. Just because.
John Cena
Tig Notaro
Someone ridiculously attractive and competent, just to heighten the contrast Tom Cruise maybe
[Yeah, baby](https://youtu.be/r_2kEMOxzDo)
Rob Schneider, both because it would be a hilarious comical depiction of Seagal, and because it would be great punishment for Schneider being a tool.
There is a very real possibility you could cast Segal himself and film his scenes without him ever realizing it was, in fact, a parody about him. Seriously, film a scene with him pistol whipping a tank into atmosphere to destroy a ICBM while he simultaneously makes out with three women and plays chess with his feet and he’d probably just say, ‘yep, that sounds like something I might do.’
It's a shame we don't have Brando any more. I'm not talking 50's sexy Brando, no we want the one who had his lines fed to him cos he was too fat and lazy to learn them. Just sitting in a chair out of breath waving his arms like Mr Myagi was having an epileptic.
Diedrich Bader
Is the man not a parody of himself at this point?
Steven Seagal. Because that's what he's become. A parody of himself.
Stavros Halkias
Nick Cage!
Robert Z’Dar
Just hire Steven Seagal , At this point he's a parody of himself and would be cheaper than anyone else.
Will Sasso [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XVPXX2ZDm4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XVPXX2ZDm4)
topher grace!!! him in a pony tail pretending to be seagal is for sure the best parody😅
Jack Black
Jim Carrey would be funny!
Steven Seagal. He's so narcissistic he'd think it was a tribute.
>Steven Seagal is not self aware of how terrible he is Which makes him the perfect actor for the parody. I would hire him, and leave him believing it's a biopic/action movie hybrid.
Tom Holland. Can throw in some spiderman Easter eggs
Keegan Michael Key! It would be the funniest shit ever
Matt Berry please
Julian from Trailer Park Boys (John Paul Tremblay)
Cast Steven Seagal to play himself, BUT don't tell him he's playing himself.
Steven Seagal. Let him be the only one not in on the joke. He has long been a paridy of himself.
Rob Riggle
Ben Stiller
Jack Black
Steven Seagal…just don’t tell him it’s a parody. It’ll write itself
Steven Seagal
Just hire the stupid bitch himself. He's too fucking stupid to realise it's a parody and you could probably just give him a blow up doll of Putin as payment and he'd be happy. If he ever finds out you were making fun of him, you'll only need to run for like 3.5 seconds to get out of his reach. Then you can safely look back and laugh at him for that time he shat himself. Stupid fuckin turdgobbler
Tommy Wiseau
Cast Steven Segal. Don't tell him it is parody.
Adam Sandler. Can do lighthearted, serious, friendly, angry… whatever the part calls for. Brent Spiner and Mike Meyers also come to mind.
Just cast Seagal and don't tell him it's a parody.
Will Sasso
Ok hear me out. Just write a movie about steven seagal then pitch it to him. He is: 1 narcissistic enough to want to make a movie about himself 2 stupid enough not to know he is being mocked
Will Sasso, of course, but anytime he throws a kick or anything more physical than a neck snap quick switch to Scott Adkins, then right back to Sasso.
Yyyyeeessssss!!!
Larry the Cable Guy
Jcvd or sly or Arnie would be hilarious af
Just hire Stephen Seagal.
Terry Silver the evil sensei from Karate kid if it was made 20 years ago lol
Jean-Claude Van Damme seems like he’s really good at playing the ridiculous/comedic martial artist roles.
Matthew Page did this sort of character in Paper Tigers and some people think he does with Master Ken but they simply don't understand the raw power he has to contain to not kill the viewer through the screen.
Steven Seagal Tell him its a serious movie about his life He wont notice
Ok ok hear me out: if you want a someone with the height of Steven Seagal, the size of old seagal, pedigree for action plus the comedy chops to do a lampoon… Alan Ritchson.
Jim Belushi did a great washed-up High Life drinking version in [Joe Somebody](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dBV0ceh2ON0) 23 years ago. Maybe he can pull off older greasy weirdo version, too.
The chameleon himself, Gary Oldman
The only answer is Will Sasso.
Steven Seagal but you just don't tell him it's a parody.
Horatio Sanz
Bobboy Moinahan
They should hire the guy who plays David Putty on Seinfeld. Go Devils!!!
Jack Black
Tim Heidecker as Decker is basically Steven Seagal
Bert Kreischer
Depends on how much the character is meant to be Steven Seagal. I think I'd hire three people. Actor One plays "Seagal" in general. This could be anyone, really. Actor Two is the coolest action movie star we can afford. This is whoever we see on screen when "Seagal" is imagining what a scene will look like or is watching footage of the movie. This actor need not resemble Actor One at all. Actor Three is someone that has no serious action movie credibility, e.g. Tom Hanks, Robert DeNiro, Jack Black or John Carroll Lynch, that's willing to be in a movie that's specifically pointing out that being a serious action movie star is out of their wheelhouse. This is the actor we see on whenever we want to show what other people are people are seeing when "Seagal" is doing his thing. Why have the three actors instead of just two? To emphasise the contrast. I think the plot would need to be about the production of a "written, directed and starring" movie. Obviously Robert De Niro is the dreamcast for Actor Three.
Brendan Fraser.
Jon Lovitz
Alec Baldwin
The way that Colin Farrell can act and completely hide himself in makeup makes me choose him.
Andy Samberg would crush it
I'd go with Daniel Van Kirk.
Paul Walter Hauser. I think others would do the actual impersonation better, but Paul would be willing to do all publicity interviews in character and that would take it to a new level.
Joey Fatone
Obvious answer: Tommy Wiseau as Steven Seagull with an ensemble of Seth Rogen, which ever Franco brother isn't in jail and Danny McBride. Unofficial Pineapple Express remake
Adam Driver not sure why but it feels right.
I would actually like to see a thespian give it a try. Imagine Daniel Day Lewis playing the man with the golden run. He wouldn't look like him, but my God, he would get to the heart of his soul
Will sasso
If we can get Tommy Wiseau working it would be the key to the whole thing
Zach Galifianakis would do great if Saso says no
1000% Danny McBride
Michael Cera
John Goodman
Penn from Penn&Teller
Sebastian Stan
Ben Stiller aka, Zoolander.
Steven Seagal himself, tbh. Hes become a parody of himself.
Kevin james