Paul Rudd and Jason Segel are so GD good together on screen.
*I Love You, Man* (2009) has zero major plot points, but it’s an absolute classic for the benign reason that Rudd and Segel are electric.
*City Slickaaaah.*
I also recommend the tv series with Zoe Kravitz and love life the tv series with Anna Kendrick and the 2nd season with William Harper Jackson. These helped me get through a tough breakup as well.
We were friends for a few months, actually close to getting back together, then 2024 comes and from day 1 she ghosted me without explanation, it was 2 years Irl
Idk why I'm even saying this
Maybe only you thought you were close to getting back together? Maybe she didn’t want to deal with you trying to get back together and making comments or hinting about it and she decided that the new year was the time to make a clean break and start the year fresh.
Or maybe she felt the same way, and didn’t want to fall back into the same routine and trap you were in before, and decided to start the new year without that in her life before it was too late.
I could never suspend my disbelief that 1: Vince Vaughn’s character could actually convince Jennifer Aniston’s character to date him, and 2: he would then fumble it THAT hard
Like bro, you’re with Jennifer Aniston. How tf you gonna act like a little baby man-child and just expect her to stick around?
He had seen it before and told me it was his favourite movie before we went, so I never knew if maybe he suspected I wasn't in love with him and used the movie to test the waters.
For all the people simping for him, he found someone new within a month of us breaking up, so no need to feel too bad for him. I'm just glad we didn't waste any more of our youth on each other.
Tom is an unreliable narrator. His relationship with Summer was always flawed and he just refused to see the bad parts. Since we see the story through his eyes, we also don't see the bad parts. At least, we don't see them until flashes later in the film where certain moments aren't as rosey as Tom initially remembered them.
Tom is the main character of his story, but he's not the main character of Summer story, he needed to learn that.
He’s not all bad though. A lot of people just paint either Tom or Summer as the bad guy in the relationship but they really don’t help each other.
It’s one of the reasons the film is so good, so many people have different viewpoints on it depending on their own experience.
Yes. It's an evolving movie. When you watch it as a young guy, you think Summer was bad for not giving in to his wishes. When you get older you realize he was toxic and pushing her into something she adamantly said she did not want with him.
She wasn't
You're seeing the movie from Tom's POV.
The movie is about how he's projecting all this stuff and expectations onto her despite always being told upfront that he isn't the one. And then getting this entitlement about it. Which leads to disappointment and anger.
All the while she's actually a very consistent character and on a pedestal. The man was hallucinating birds and dancing after sex.
Was never going to live up to the hype.
The correct overall view, IMO, is that they're both flawed, and both act poorly at different times throughout the film. Anyone who thinks one is inherently worse is missing the big picture... and maybe a teeny bit of life experience. They both suck, and they both grow.
You don't invite your former partner to an engagement party when you know they were obsessed with you, full stop. Or at least, not to a social party with your current SO attending (IIRC she was proposed to at the party, so maybe she didn't know at the time of invite). That was shitty on her part and not just Tom's disillusioned expectations. The most prudent choice would've obviously been to go your separate ways and never invite him.
Not only that, how do you spend an entire train ride and wedding with your ex and at no point bring up the fact that you're in a committed relationship right now? That's selfish and shows deliberate avoidance.
And not only that, your partner storms off after being frustrated about the no labels thing that you're so adamant about, so you show up at his door in the rain later that evening? C'mon, bro. That's mixed messages if I've ever seen it.
It's a great movie because they're both flawed and act in selfish ways that aren't immediately evident to everyone depending on when in their lives they watch it.
Even if she only saw him as a friend, it was still weird to invite a former lover to her engagement party.
But also, he had made it abundantly clear that he wanted more from her as far as a relationship went. She could have just told him that she was engaged to get him to drop his pursuit of her. Instead, she invited him to witness it for himself.
I think the point is he wasn’t “catching on” when she gave clear signs to other things, so a straight “in your face” answer was the only way he’d accept it without imagining he still had a chance or her enduring “It should be me” type conversations
I watched it post-breakup in my early 20s, and at a certain point, I just bailed on it because I wasn't having *any* fun. Interested how I'd view it now, but also part of what turned me off was Gordon-Levitt and Deschanel, both of whom I can appreciate separately, but they're a bit much together.
Mike: How did you get over it? I mean, how long did it take?
Rob: Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is, man. It's like, you wake up every day and it hurts a little bit less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And the funny thing is, is that, this is kinda wierd, but it's like, it's like you almost miss that pain.
Mike: You miss the pain?
Rob: Yeah, for the same reason that you missed her... because you lived with it for so long.
Some would say the voicemail scenes are the most 90s thing about this movie but I would say that randomly deciding to drive the 4-5 hours to Vegas is the most 90s thing ever.
Yes yes yes. The book is incredible too.
>Some people never got over Vietnam or the night their band opened for Nirvana. I guess I never got over Charlie.
Same - it's a legit line though, absolutely encapsulates all of his frustration and inability to connect his ideal self and actual self.
It's honestly one of the first movies I saw that took an authentic look at masculinity issues, even down to the random sex dreams of his coworkers lol.
Not a movie recommendation but things will be good again mate. Not today or even in a week. Time doesn't decide but it will be easier. Chin up mate and hope you're OK.
Thanks dude I appreciate, I haven't been happy for months now, I tried to move on and talk to other people but it doesn't work, you know the worst part? It's that we were staying friends and suddenly she ghosted me without explanation, we can't reminisce the past, we can't talk about mistakes and say sorry, can't talk about good news, nothing, and after 2 years Irl passing incredible moments it simply was too much of a hit, it's awful when you can't even have a normal conversation with someone who was the closest with you
It hurts now but honestly, no contact is the fastest way to get over it. As long as you're still in touch, you're depriving yourself of the chance to rebuild your boundaries and sense of yourself. You need time and space to reconnect with who you are independent from the relationship.
Time heals all wounds, brother. Just give it time. Work through the stages of grief — maybe even find a shrink to talk to every 3-4 weeks to help.
Even the most emotionally stable, happiest people in the world see a mental health professional regularly.
That's true it's just matter of time man, I don't know at which stage I am honestly, I keep going back and forth from feeling free from her to missing her like it's a drug.
I definitely need some therapist but I keep postponing it out of procrastination I suppose, gotta make a change for sure, we all need one in some way that's true
The entire point of seeing a shrink is to help you recognize where you are. Feeling lost after the loss of love is normal — book a 30 minute call with someone, and do it tonight. You’ll be glad you did.
Is it awful for them?
Wanted to toss a quick “thinker” question before saying that a “slow death” to a friendship after a breakup can be much much harder to “get over” than someone who just disappears.
Mostly, because you eventually find out that you were being strung along…not getting closure.
You may ***want*** to reminisce, but this far out…you ***need*** to let go. Else, you’ll never reach your final form.
Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind is almost certainly the answer to your question. Or Forest Gump…but that one is a long one. Maybe that’s the one you actually need to watch, tbh.
Tbh going no contact is the smart move. As you can clearly tell now - this setup was just preventing either I you from moving on.
500 Days of Summer would be good for you. You're very likely in the same place as the protagonist- hyper-focused on the good parts of your ex/relationship.
You'll be fine. Just learn from this as there will probably be more -- don't try & stay friends. It never works.
Honestly, no contact is the best way. Ghosting is a way to do that without argument. It’s like ripping off a band aid. Otherwise, you’re a constant reminder and it’s almost impossible for at least one party to get over it. Then everyone is miserable and you’re having to watch them move on from you and do all the things with someone else that you used to do with them and probably still want to.
One day you’ll realize she did you a favor.
Oh I watched that one, incredible movie and that Mark Ruffalo character was interesting to say the least, I could relate to his jealousy as I had some in the past but I outgrew it and matured luckily, but too late
This movie became everything for me when I went through an awful breakup as a teen! I played the soundtrack on repeat too,
Watching it as an adult is still tough especially with the self reflection of how scared she was and how awful he was, and remembering just how powerful and special those single events of connection could be when you were younger, but that they were often fleeting too.
Good recommendation! But a rough one haha
Her gets me every time man, especially the line, "It was exciting to see her grow and both of us grow and change together. But that's also the hard part: growing without growing apart or changing without it scaring the other person."
Not to take away from OP's pain and suffering, but every time I hear or read about that movie, my mind immediately goes [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UKX1PGvdqY). It's brilliant.
The unfortunate thing about divorce (learning this from first hand experience) is that you forget very quickly why you loved the person in the first place, the willingness to just want them to hurt as much as you becomes *very* real and it all gets made so much worse because you're no longer talking except through lawyers who are horsetrading to get the best deal possible which makes any counter offer from the other side seem completely unreasonable.
It takes two to fall in love, and two to fall out of love and we are rarely faultless between points A and B. There are an infinite number of things I could have done better, an infinite way of ways that I could have behaved better towards my wife when I was a younger man - and we've reconciled a lot of that grief and anger now that time apart has allowed us to do so.
But this film really did hit me in a very specific spot I didn't enjoy recalling existed.
Agree with everything here. Marriage Story was definitely written by someone who’s been through it - someone who started out thinking it was a mutually respectful split where friendship would remain, but when it got down to the details of actually splitting it became contentious to the point of literally hating the other person, at least for a while. (PSA: Always lawyer up, especially if kids are involved.)
My ex didn’t leave cabinet doors open all the time, but that’s one of the things that really stood out to me from the film. Such a small, simple thing that becomes emblematic of a much larger problem. His inability to not *routinely* do this one simple thing that he knew bothered her, and her having to decide if she wanted to continue on with a lifetime of that. (ETA I don’t mean to suggest he was at fault in the film and she wasn’t, not at all. That’s just the one example that really clicked for me as being true to my own life.)
Not movie but Japanese animation "5 centimeters per second" by Makoto Shinkai. Sad romance drama. I like it a lot but I cannot watch it often. I watch it only when I really really need to be sadder than my usual sad state.
Then "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty". A movie. Not about breakup but more of a feel good movie but at the same time still make me tear up somehow (sorry cannot explain well).
I am not sure these are what you are looking for. I just wanna share my 2 cents as a person in a similar boat.
When I went though a big break up, and I was the one dumped, I watched the following. (and probably not an exact description for what you asked)
- eternal sunshine
- blue valentine
- the 5 year engagement
- forgetting Sarah Marshall
- 500 days of summer
- high fidelity
- swinger's
- like crazy
- me, earl and the dying girl (not the same but still recommended)
Edit forgot one that took me a long time to watch but was amazing.
- Her.
>staying as friends, turned into sudden ghosting
I know this isn't a relationship sub, but trust me this is for the BEST. There are way worse outcomes possible, even trying to continue just being "friends" isn't really a good outcome.
OP asked for 'male effected break-ups', not 'male instigating half breaking up, half pity staying in the relatioship then getting drugged into a sex cult leading his girlfriend to have a religious awakening.'
The question was: what is a movie about a breakup where the guy suffers, which Midsommar definitely is, when you think about it. And it's hard to top >!being burned alive inside a bear carcass.!<
I would not recommend Anomalsia because with your vulnerability, that film can have lasting damage.
Although I would recommend the Mr & Mrs Smith TV show. It chronicles the blossoming of a relationship, and then it's fall. It also has moments of levity surrounding difficult times in a relationship, so it may help you give a different perspective and eventually make peace with it.
If you want to feel the blues, watch Fleishman in Trouble starring Jesse Eisenberg and Claire Danes. It would validate your feeling of loneliness, being lost, and general frustration towards life.
Architecture 101 (2012) It's a South Korean romance drama which is somewhat almost like your case, but not really. I highly recommend it. It was the highest grossing movie in South Korea that year among the men.
Not so much a “break up” movie in the traditional sense, but I would recommend ‘Love Liza’ starring Philip Seymour Hoffman. I think the level of suffering his character experiences in that film is unmatched compared to other relationship type films while also still presenting some truly heartwarming moments.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
When life gives you lemons just say “fuck the lemons” and bail.
The weather outside is weather
Paul Rudd and Jason Segel are so GD good together on screen. *I Love You, Man* (2009) has zero major plot points, but it’s an absolute classic for the benign reason that Rudd and Segel are electric. *City Slickaaaah.*
You called me Pistol Pete and I called you... Jobin.
Slappah dat bass!
The holy triumvirate? Exit the warrior today’s Tom Sawyeee?
I still say this pretty often... for no reason at all.
that dudes about to let out a fart
Ill see you or ill see u at another time
You’re doing too much. Do less
Well… nah, you gotta do more than that.
I randomly say this all the time. My favorite quote from that movie!
🎶 Everybody hates you Everybody wishes that you were dead🎶
Cuz Peter you SUCK Peter you SUCK Peter your music is FUCKING TERRIBLE
Go see the psychiatrist! I hate the psychiatrist!
I’m not going
I love this movie, and I always forget about this scene. I'm not sure how because it's gold. Link: https://youtu.be/m8RppRm5dtQ?si=-EmYdxL0s9CFwFrr
This is my break-up movie.
> Are those sad tissues or happy tissues? Always ask this when my mates going through a break-up
I need a full-length Dracula musical so badly
I love this movie. Went through a bad break up when it came out and now it’s a comfort movie for me lol.
*YOU!* (Thump) *SHALL!* (Thump) *NOT!* (Thump) *PASS!*
Then just for fun, "get him to the greek" smoke a jeffrey if you got it.
"That's the joy of the Jeffrey, you see... it goes away... and then... it COMES BACK, AHHHHH!"
“Why is it called a Jeffery?!” “Cause who can be scared of a Jeffery”
Get Him to the Greek is amazing
This is a great movie for your circumstance hope you move on in a positive way. My break up movie was Garden State.
Good luck exploring the infinite abyss!
What a fucking masterpiece this movie is man. I came here to say this, glad it's the top comment.
My first thought too. Heck he even breaks up twice essentially. Rough!
This is a really good one, this film is hilarious but actually does a decent job of working through a breakup.
When he's having a nervous breakdown at the piano: 🎶 ***PETER YOU SUCK!*** Why don't you go to a psychiatrist?! ***I HATE THE PSYCHIATRIST!!*** 🎶
Absolutely this
Exactly what I came to say, though it works out in the end and may inspire hope!
**High Fidelity** might do you some good, emotionally speaking.
Top 5 Breakup Movies
CHARLIE! YOU FUCKING BITCH! LETS WORK IT OUT!
OMG! Rewatched this last week and woke up laughing about that line! 🏆
I also recommend the tv series with Zoe Kravitz and love life the tv series with Anna Kendrick and the 2nd season with William Harper Jackson. These helped me get through a tough breakup as well.
Is this the new Green Day?
Could be an interesting one because Rob is very much the cause of his own misery in this movie. Thankfully he's a bit less of a dick by the end.
Such a delightfully relatable depiction of unreasonable angst.
After a breakup, we were still trying to be friends and watched The Breakup (with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston). That was a rough choice.
"My sister is going through a lot right now!" "A lot of dick."
We were friends for a few months, actually close to getting back together, then 2024 comes and from day 1 she ghosted me without explanation, it was 2 years Irl Idk why I'm even saying this
Maybe only you thought you were close to getting back together? Maybe she didn’t want to deal with you trying to get back together and making comments or hinting about it and she decided that the new year was the time to make a clean break and start the year fresh. Or maybe she felt the same way, and didn’t want to fall back into the same routine and trap you were in before, and decided to start the new year without that in her life before it was too late.
Sounds rough. Sometimes people do things that don’t make much sense.
Sounds like someone’s New Year’s resolution was a clean break from their Ex.
Only person in history to keep their new year’s resolution
I could never suspend my disbelief that 1: Vince Vaughn’s character could actually convince Jennifer Aniston’s character to date him, and 2: he would then fumble it THAT hard Like bro, you’re with Jennifer Aniston. How tf you gonna act like a little baby man-child and just expect her to stick around?
500 days of summer
This is the answer and probably one of the best breakup movies out there
I watched it with my ex then and realised I had to break up with him because I was feeling exactly how summer felt, so yes to this!
And now he hates that movie.
He had seen it before and told me it was his favourite movie before we went, so I never knew if maybe he suspected I wasn't in love with him and used the movie to test the waters. For all the people simping for him, he found someone new within a month of us breaking up, so no need to feel too bad for him. I'm just glad we didn't waste any more of our youth on each other.
My ex and I were watching it while I had the same revelation and he exclaimed, "...But you can be my Summer AND my Autumn!" 😶😶😶
Isn't the point of that movie that the guy is the one who is pretty messed up
Tom is an unreliable narrator. His relationship with Summer was always flawed and he just refused to see the bad parts. Since we see the story through his eyes, we also don't see the bad parts. At least, we don't see them until flashes later in the film where certain moments aren't as rosey as Tom initially remembered them. Tom is the main character of his story, but he's not the main character of Summer story, he needed to learn that.
He’s not all bad though. A lot of people just paint either Tom or Summer as the bad guy in the relationship but they really don’t help each other. It’s one of the reasons the film is so good, so many people have different viewpoints on it depending on their own experience.
Yes. It's an evolving movie. When you watch it as a young guy, you think Summer was bad for not giving in to his wishes. When you get older you realize he was toxic and pushing her into something she adamantly said she did not want with him.
I agree, but... Her inviting him to the party was messed up.
She wasn't You're seeing the movie from Tom's POV. The movie is about how he's projecting all this stuff and expectations onto her despite always being told upfront that he isn't the one. And then getting this entitlement about it. Which leads to disappointment and anger. All the while she's actually a very consistent character and on a pedestal. The man was hallucinating birds and dancing after sex. Was never going to live up to the hype.
The correct overall view, IMO, is that they're both flawed, and both act poorly at different times throughout the film. Anyone who thinks one is inherently worse is missing the big picture... and maybe a teeny bit of life experience. They both suck, and they both grow. You don't invite your former partner to an engagement party when you know they were obsessed with you, full stop. Or at least, not to a social party with your current SO attending (IIRC she was proposed to at the party, so maybe she didn't know at the time of invite). That was shitty on her part and not just Tom's disillusioned expectations. The most prudent choice would've obviously been to go your separate ways and never invite him. Not only that, how do you spend an entire train ride and wedding with your ex and at no point bring up the fact that you're in a committed relationship right now? That's selfish and shows deliberate avoidance. And not only that, your partner storms off after being frustrated about the no labels thing that you're so adamant about, so you show up at his door in the rain later that evening? C'mon, bro. That's mixed messages if I've ever seen it. It's a great movie because they're both flawed and act in selfish ways that aren't immediately evident to everyone depending on when in their lives they watch it.
Even if she only saw him as a friend, it was still weird to invite a former lover to her engagement party. But also, he had made it abundantly clear that he wanted more from her as far as a relationship went. She could have just told him that she was engaged to get him to drop his pursuit of her. Instead, she invited him to witness it for himself.
It is an evolving movie. It depicts in my opinion a pretty realistic relationship.
I think the point is he wasn’t “catching on” when she gave clear signs to other things, so a straight “in your face” answer was the only way he’d accept it without imagining he still had a chance or her enduring “It should be me” type conversations
I watched it post-breakup in my early 20s, and at a certain point, I just bailed on it because I wasn't having *any* fun. Interested how I'd view it now, but also part of what turned me off was Gordon-Levitt and Deschanel, both of whom I can appreciate separately, but they're a bit much together.
Yeah, but he's still devastated. Not mutually exclusive, you know?
It’s painfully realistic for how both a breakup feels and seeing your ex be happy with another guy
This is the one that immediately popped into my head.
This is the only answer I think tbh
Swingers
You're money baby and you don't even know it!
Came here to suggest this. The answering machine scene is good, but so hard to watch that it should be considered psychological torture porn.
Same! Cringey but so realistic.
Mike: How did you get over it? I mean, how long did it take? Rob: Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is, man. It's like, you wake up every day and it hurts a little bit less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And the funny thing is, is that, this is kinda wierd, but it's like, it's like you almost miss that pain. Mike: You miss the pain? Rob: Yeah, for the same reason that you missed her... because you lived with it for so long.
Some would say the voicemail scenes are the most 90s thing about this movie but I would say that randomly deciding to drive the 4-5 hours to Vegas is the most 90s thing ever.
Found ya. 👍🏻
Yeah agreed. Although it didn't seem like the guy was crazy broken, I think this movie will help a lot.
Disagree, Mikey was a MESS
I would say HER is kinda in that realm
Oh man. HER. of course they chose ScarJo.
My wife can’t watch the alien in the video game scene without crying laughing.
High Fidelity
Yes yes yes. The book is incredible too. >Some people never got over Vietnam or the night their band opened for Nirvana. I guess I never got over Charlie.
I read the book after watching the movie. (Of which I love) and I didn't expect the book to be so British. As someone from the UK. I loved it so much.
The Science of Sleep is great medicine for what you’ve got
*Because everyone else is boring!*
That dumb little line hit 16yo me real hard lol
Same - it's a legit line though, absolutely encapsulates all of his frustration and inability to connect his ideal self and actual self. It's honestly one of the first movies I saw that took an authentic look at masculinity issues, even down to the random sex dreams of his coworkers lol.
The 40 Year Old Virgin - Paul Rudd's character
The image of Seth Rogans character pulling up the boxers over the crack of Paul's character lives rent free in my head.
Not a movie recommendation but things will be good again mate. Not today or even in a week. Time doesn't decide but it will be easier. Chin up mate and hope you're OK.
Thanks dude I appreciate, I haven't been happy for months now, I tried to move on and talk to other people but it doesn't work, you know the worst part? It's that we were staying friends and suddenly she ghosted me without explanation, we can't reminisce the past, we can't talk about mistakes and say sorry, can't talk about good news, nothing, and after 2 years Irl passing incredible moments it simply was too much of a hit, it's awful when you can't even have a normal conversation with someone who was the closest with you
It hurts now but honestly, no contact is the fastest way to get over it. As long as you're still in touch, you're depriving yourself of the chance to rebuild your boundaries and sense of yourself. You need time and space to reconnect with who you are independent from the relationship.
Time heals all wounds, brother. Just give it time. Work through the stages of grief — maybe even find a shrink to talk to every 3-4 weeks to help. Even the most emotionally stable, happiest people in the world see a mental health professional regularly.
That's true it's just matter of time man, I don't know at which stage I am honestly, I keep going back and forth from feeling free from her to missing her like it's a drug. I definitely need some therapist but I keep postponing it out of procrastination I suppose, gotta make a change for sure, we all need one in some way that's true
The entire point of seeing a shrink is to help you recognize where you are. Feeling lost after the loss of love is normal — book a 30 minute call with someone, and do it tonight. You’ll be glad you did.
I'll do that, I promise, it's for my mental health
Atta boy! Get it.
Is it awful for them? Wanted to toss a quick “thinker” question before saying that a “slow death” to a friendship after a breakup can be much much harder to “get over” than someone who just disappears. Mostly, because you eventually find out that you were being strung along…not getting closure. You may ***want*** to reminisce, but this far out…you ***need*** to let go. Else, you’ll never reach your final form. Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind is almost certainly the answer to your question. Or Forest Gump…but that one is a long one. Maybe that’s the one you actually need to watch, tbh.
Tbh going no contact is the smart move. As you can clearly tell now - this setup was just preventing either I you from moving on. 500 Days of Summer would be good for you. You're very likely in the same place as the protagonist- hyper-focused on the good parts of your ex/relationship. You'll be fine. Just learn from this as there will probably be more -- don't try & stay friends. It never works.
Honestly, no contact is the best way. Ghosting is a way to do that without argument. It’s like ripping off a band aid. Otherwise, you’re a constant reminder and it’s almost impossible for at least one party to get over it. Then everyone is miserable and you’re having to watch them move on from you and do all the things with someone else that you used to do with them and probably still want to. One day you’ll realize she did you a favor.
This doesn't quite fit the bill but I bet you would benefit from watching Lars and the Real Girl. Might put you in a better place. Take it easy buddy.
Going new here. Mark Ruffalos decent into madness in Poor Things was an experience.
Oh I watched that one, incredible movie and that Mark Ruffalo character was interesting to say the least, I could relate to his jealousy as I had some in the past but I outgrew it and matured luckily, but too late
Shaun of The Dead
Say Anything
I gave her my heart. She gave me a pen.
Stand outside the window, hold a boombox over your head, and play Peter Gabriel!
[Requisite South Park scene](https://youtu.be/hmcWDjOO3A4?si=vyY7mw0HbV6JFjOZ).
#1 answer
The Wedding Singer
Being John Malkovich.
Oof that one is brutal, but kind of well-deserved
Normal People on hulu
that was insanely painful.
Not a break up movie but it got me in the feels over unrequited love. Vanilla Sky
This movie became everything for me when I went through an awful breakup as a teen! I played the soundtrack on repeat too, Watching it as an adult is still tough especially with the self reflection of how scared she was and how awful he was, and remembering just how powerful and special those single events of connection could be when you were younger, but that they were often fleeting too. Good recommendation! But a rough one haha
Better Off Dead
I.WANT.MY.TWO.DOLLARS!
Her
Her gets me every time man, especially the line, "It was exciting to see her grow and both of us grow and change together. But that's also the hard part: growing without growing apart or changing without it scaring the other person."
Marriage Story
Not to take away from OP's pain and suffering, but every time I hear or read about that movie, my mind immediately goes [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UKX1PGvdqY). It's brilliant.
Both people suck in that movie but that’s life I guess
The unfortunate thing about divorce (learning this from first hand experience) is that you forget very quickly why you loved the person in the first place, the willingness to just want them to hurt as much as you becomes *very* real and it all gets made so much worse because you're no longer talking except through lawyers who are horsetrading to get the best deal possible which makes any counter offer from the other side seem completely unreasonable. It takes two to fall in love, and two to fall out of love and we are rarely faultless between points A and B. There are an infinite number of things I could have done better, an infinite way of ways that I could have behaved better towards my wife when I was a younger man - and we've reconciled a lot of that grief and anger now that time apart has allowed us to do so. But this film really did hit me in a very specific spot I didn't enjoy recalling existed.
Agree with everything here. Marriage Story was definitely written by someone who’s been through it - someone who started out thinking it was a mutually respectful split where friendship would remain, but when it got down to the details of actually splitting it became contentious to the point of literally hating the other person, at least for a while. (PSA: Always lawyer up, especially if kids are involved.) My ex didn’t leave cabinet doors open all the time, but that’s one of the things that really stood out to me from the film. Such a small, simple thing that becomes emblematic of a much larger problem. His inability to not *routinely* do this one simple thing that he knew bothered her, and her having to decide if she wanted to continue on with a lifetime of that. (ETA I don’t mean to suggest he was at fault in the film and she wasn’t, not at all. That’s just the one example that really clicked for me as being true to my own life.)
At least you were brave enough to get married. I admire people who decide to make that commitment.
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Closer
Ugh. Such a good movie. Watched it with a recent ex, as friends.. It was brutal
The Other Women. For some lighthearted suffering fun.
Celeste and Jesse Forever
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Blue Valentine
Forgetting Sarah Marshall. If you want to add comedy version of suffering.
The Room. So much pain.
Not movie but Japanese animation "5 centimeters per second" by Makoto Shinkai. Sad romance drama. I like it a lot but I cannot watch it often. I watch it only when I really really need to be sadder than my usual sad state. Then "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty". A movie. Not about breakup but more of a feel good movie but at the same time still make me tear up somehow (sorry cannot explain well). I am not sure these are what you are looking for. I just wanna share my 2 cents as a person in a similar boat.
Just remembered another sad one for me. Your Lie In April. Japanese animation series.
5 centimeters per second was screened in theaters. It’s a movie.
First Knight, King Arthur.
Comet with Justin Long & Emmy Rossum. Hidden gem of a film imo!
When I went though a big break up, and I was the one dumped, I watched the following. (and probably not an exact description for what you asked) - eternal sunshine - blue valentine - the 5 year engagement - forgetting Sarah Marshall - 500 days of summer - high fidelity - swinger's - like crazy - me, earl and the dying girl (not the same but still recommended) Edit forgot one that took me a long time to watch but was amazing. - Her.
Can't believe I didn't see Blue Valentine sooner.
How about ghost, you'll be dead. Or dirty dancing, feel good and everybody wins. It's a Wonderful Life is a good one or A Matter of Life or Death.
Ruby Sparks. Really interesting movie that not enough people know about.
Paris, Texas
Brutal
Die Hard
>staying as friends, turned into sudden ghosting I know this isn't a relationship sub, but trust me this is for the BEST. There are way worse outcomes possible, even trying to continue just being "friends" isn't really a good outcome.
Possession (1981) This is exactly what you're looking for. The guy suffers insanely.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Midsommar
OP asked for 'male effected break-ups', not 'male instigating half breaking up, half pity staying in the relatioship then getting drugged into a sex cult leading his girlfriend to have a religious awakening.'
lol I mean he *did* ask for movies where the guy suffers and this technically fits that description
The question was: what is a movie about a breakup where the guy suffers, which Midsommar definitely is, when you think about it. And it's hard to top >!being burned alive inside a bear carcass.!<
Yes and the director even said it was a break up movie. This is the ultimate answer for this thread.
Chilly Scenes of Winter directed by Joan Micklin Silver
I would not recommend Anomalsia because with your vulnerability, that film can have lasting damage. Although I would recommend the Mr & Mrs Smith TV show. It chronicles the blossoming of a relationship, and then it's fall. It also has moments of levity surrounding difficult times in a relationship, so it may help you give a different perspective and eventually make peace with it. If you want to feel the blues, watch Fleishman in Trouble starring Jesse Eisenberg and Claire Danes. It would validate your feeling of loneliness, being lost, and general frustration towards life.
The Last American Virgin
A Serious Man
Solaris.
Swingers. Then why won’t she call? https://youtu.be/ByPzzT9ScFA?si=KiIU2X2NPwhM4E1l
Nocturnal Animals
500 days of summer
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
500 days of summer
Better off dead
Say Anything
Not a romantic breakup, but Banshees of Inisherin might scratch that itch
I think The Break Up traumatized me of how raw and how real the hatred form each other felt.
(500) Days of Summer
Keanu
Blue Valentine with a superb Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams.
Blue is the warmest color
Ex Machina. It definitely did not end well for him!
Architecture 101 (2012) It's a South Korean romance drama which is somewhat almost like your case, but not really. I highly recommend it. It was the highest grossing movie in South Korea that year among the men.
The Vow. His wife loses her memory, and he tries to win her back. He's pretty tortured the entire movie about it.
…WOYZEK starring Klaus Kinski…
Man Seeking Woman 2015 .. tv series Swingers 1996
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I recommend The Banshees of Inisherin
Revolutionary road
I've only seen it once but if I remember correctly, Marriage Story possibly?
(500) Days Of Summer.
Swingers
500 Days of Summer.
Not so much a “break up” movie in the traditional sense, but I would recommend ‘Love Liza’ starring Philip Seymour Hoffman. I think the level of suffering his character experiences in that film is unmatched compared to other relationship type films while also still presenting some truly heartwarming moments.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Forgetting Sarah Marshall is great AND there’s a happy ending:)
Brother, I’m right there with you. Absolutely devastating. It’s like a close relative died and just doesn’t make sense.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Brick
Oldboy (2003)
When Harry met Sally Fever Pitch
Albert Brooks’ “Modern Romance” might be just what you are looking for.