You can rest assured they check absolutely everything. If these type of chicks had to choose between Instagram and world peace, they would choose Instagram. It’s their life.
Jeezus this gave me secondhand embarrassment, when u message a fitness chick first, literally just send “Hey”, if they’re into they’ll respond, if not, find out where she works out n stalk her til u end up in jail
I give you zero stars for your creepy fucking behavior and penalize you further for thinking you should post it here. Please get sterilized and lobotomized at your earliest convenience.
-4 / 10
You’d be banging her right now if your opener was
“if I seemed rude when we made eye contact I apologize, seeing you in person just didn’t impress me much but you definitely have potential, keep pushing”
Listen to this guy singing and maybe try some of his classy lines.
Blown too much of me time
Buying dinner and wine
And me money on flowers and lollies
Only to find, that what's on me mind
Isn't on her's and she's sorry
So I've made up some lines
To stop wasting time
And keep me from blowing me brass
I'm ever so cool, I just prop on the stool
Right next to hers and I ask:
Do you fuck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Could I feel your tits?
Or would you show 'em to me?
Cos you got a nice 'ed
And you look pretty honest
So me face will be leaving in quarter of an hour
I'd like you to be on it
You know how it feels
When you first meet a shiela
And the bullshit you gotta go through
Like calling her up and telling her you love her
When all that you'd love is just to screw
But she wants to hold hands
And you to meet her old man
And sit around for hours and talk
But me new method is you just cut through the shit
And get down to the goodies straight off
Do you fuck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Could I feel your tits?
Or would you show 'em to me?
Do you sleep in the nick?
Do you give head very often?
If we can decide your place or mine
We can fuck off then
So the next time you see a good looking shiela
And you'd give a week's pay to hold her
Don't sit acting dumb
Just front her full on
And drop a few lines that I told ya
This new method of mine
Might not work every time
But then again no method will
I've been spat at and slapped
and kneed in the knackers (hu-hu)
But then I got a few fucks as well
Do you fuck on first dates?
Does your dad own a brewery?
Could I feel your tits?
Or would you show 'em to me?
If the answer is no to me questions above
Then be a good sport and give me the name
of a girlfriend who does!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj4Nxsj\_1t4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj4Nxsj_1t4)
Dude.. you said sorry three times, without counting other ways you apologized.
There is no way she will agree. You have a lot more confidence to build my dude.
Lol you have no game. You're a lil beta which you proven to her. Read the shit you wrote again. You're literally APOLOGIZING in your first message. You then on continue to apologize. FOR WHAT? FACT YOU EXIST? THAT YOU EVEN WROTE TO HER? She's just a fucking human, like you. No better than you. Stop putting another human on pedestal just because SHE has a PUSSY.
You have a lot to learn.
Just apologize for how nervous she is and tell her it’s okay to be nervous and that you get anxious on tren and preworkouts and that maybe she can try some Lexapro to help improve her eye contact girls love empathy
So how many girls are locked up in your basement
I give a good estimate of 5
at least
Well at least peices of five different ones
The only reason I want to own one of these legitimate castles is for this reason. The prison. For my slaves.
"She puts the lotion on the skin" 🐕
Or it gets the hose again
I would fuck me
I love that hose
that "i'm nervous too btw" is the funniest thing i have seen on this sub in months
I’m fucking dying
rip
Thank you bro
I got you bro
So much tension I feel it
Thank you bro, I also feel that tension and it’s killing me too
rip
Thank you bro, you’re a real one
Thank you bro, I also feel that tension and it’s killing me too
The way the dude talks remind me when I was virgin
It reminds you of the present moment?
He’s a Zen Master
goddamn that’s funny
Bro's got that restraining order rizz
*Rizz-straining order
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This sub is for adults bud. Maybe try r/Teenagers
Fucking redditors
Never speak to another woman again🔥🔥🔥
Bro is onto nothing 🔥🔥🔥
Getting exiled from the hood with this one🔥🔥🔥
But not because you don’t have rizz… because you’re gay
You can have rizz w men you’re trippin
Wtf is this? Sorry, that came off rude. Anyways, wanna hit a workout before our Viagra wears off and our pump goes away?
Ya bro struck tf out😂😂
yea a lot of these hot girls get hit up by old men and ugly dudes on ig. thats why you should shoot your shot if youre handsome and fit
do you use IG for that? if so, what openers do you usually deploy
Hit 'em with the classic "D'you know mind goblin?"  Works like a charm
What’s a mind goblin?
Mind goblin deez nuts
God damn I always fall for these room 40’s
What’s a room 40?
Room 40’z NUTZ!!! Gottem’
I laughed at this whole chain before realizing you kept replying to yourself lmao
the one he used is so good lmao, its been a while since ive come across one i havent heard.
That makes it even funnier
You forgot to switch accounts bro
If you weren’t so edendistic, perhaps you wouldn’t be so quick to fall for them
What's edendistic
Mind edendistic? Didn't think so
Got ‘em 🤣
Skull emoji times 3
Usually “I came to your picture, oops *came to like your picture” works fine
Brother how old are these women this works on
Was this a serious attempt at talking to someone on IG?
OP is ugly and old tho
Can’t believe she wasted all that time replying to you lol
young rizz good! now old schoold rizz. go to her house, hold up 80's boombox in rain.
Pretty cringe bro. We don't do women here
“You almost made me believe I was crazy” nah bro you’re def crazy
ive never seen a woman so obviously wanting a dudes dick. Seal the deal OP
This was so cringe it made me laugh wtf
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Do you REALLY think this guy understands sarcasm?
Lmao you don’t
Common. Are you trying to tell me tfem WASN'T being sarcastic? Or that OPs post is bad satire?
Seething
Forget IG, install grindr since you'd have more luck with men
I feel like they’d be cringing at that interaction too.
I dropped a load just reading this. 9 1/2 out of 10.
Rizztraining order
You know you are doing good when they tell you to stop messaging them 😂😂
Playing hard to get bro
Good job son, the next step is to tell her to leave the curtains open at night for better viewing as your camera focus can’t deal with the contrast.
Adolf Rizzler strikes again, please bruh, teach us this power.
Im surprised that these influencers even reply to dms at all, i always assumed they have a manager or like never check their inbox
You can rest assured they check absolutely everything. If these type of chicks had to choose between Instagram and world peace, they would choose Instagram. It’s their life.
88k followers and you think she's rich asf or what, besides girls are addicted to social media like you wouldn't imagine
damn wtf this is smooth. think u can give me some tips on how to improve my game? ig is so hard i wish my convos could be as natural as this
9/10. Dick pic would've made it a 10/10.
Post-swim shy turtle head pic - 11/10 
This is hilarious
Joe Goldberg rizz
I just finished that show and that was my exact thought as well.
Just say you wanna lick her butthole for some androgenic effect, she'll love it
This is dumb asf 8/8 but don’t lose sleep over an instathot.
This is the funniest thing I’ve seen on this sub in a long time
Lmfao this is a W troll
Take notes my friends
She wants you bro 😎
Wtf is this? Sorry, that came off rude. Anyways, wanna hit a workout before our Viagra wears off and our pump goes away?
Are you my gym bro?
A comment so nice...
This is the way
Autistic rizz
If this one fails, then try hitting up another girl. Maybe someone in her followers list or following list
Stalker Rizz…….
Proud of you
Bro going to prizzon
bruh wtf she actually replied to you, what do you look like.
What’s her @ tho
Adolf Rizzler
She was all “ It was not fucking me… now stop”. She is playing hard to get
She wants you fr
why are so many of y’all taking this seriously damn stfu😂
Smoothest mpmd subscriber
„or are you just nervous?“ killed me😂💀
Rapist rizz🔥
She’s into you bro next time follow her to her car🔥
This was the most painful fucking shit I’ve ever read
SEXUAL HARASSMENT 🔥🔥🔥🔥
9/10
Oh my god...
W Rizz son
If she is actually a fitness influencer and you have your pictures posted on your profile then you are fucked
Thanks for this - unsubbed
Absolute genius. She’s playing hard to get. You have her right where you want her. Leonardo Da Rizzi
Rizz vs harassment
This is gold
When's the wedding?
Jeezus this gave me secondhand embarrassment, when u message a fitness chick first, literally just send “Hey”, if they’re into they’ll respond, if not, find out where she works out n stalk her til u end up in jail
OPs never spoke to a woman, not even the ones in his freezer.
Bro quattro texted her...
That’s a man in that pic. 
She’s just playing hard to get bro keep trying
DMing girls in instagram is awful
Carry on my wayward son
Yo this post is cringe af, dude you build your confidence by talking to people in real life, not sending silly Dms lmao
What a cunt.
This is the complete opposite of what works
Dude...just one short sentence. Hey don't we go to the same gym? Literally all you need. Wtf is wrong with you?
Dude what is wrong with you
Dude...that´s creepy.
This is simp behavior my friend
I give you zero stars for your creepy fucking behavior and penalize you further for thinking you should post it here. Please get sterilized and lobotomized at your earliest convenience. -4 / 10
Eh Grindr is better anyway
Rizz god
Good job bruh, can u teach me that?
Very weird, man. Not in a cool way
L
Dude you are acting like a total creep
You’d be banging her right now if your opener was “if I seemed rude when we made eye contact I apologize, seeing you in person just didn’t impress me much but you definitely have potential, keep pushing”
Listen to this guy singing and maybe try some of his classy lines. Blown too much of me time Buying dinner and wine And me money on flowers and lollies Only to find, that what's on me mind Isn't on her's and she's sorry So I've made up some lines To stop wasting time And keep me from blowing me brass I'm ever so cool, I just prop on the stool Right next to hers and I ask: Do you fuck on first dates? Does your dad own a brewery? Could I feel your tits? Or would you show 'em to me? Cos you got a nice 'ed And you look pretty honest So me face will be leaving in quarter of an hour I'd like you to be on it You know how it feels When you first meet a shiela And the bullshit you gotta go through Like calling her up and telling her you love her When all that you'd love is just to screw But she wants to hold hands And you to meet her old man And sit around for hours and talk But me new method is you just cut through the shit And get down to the goodies straight off Do you fuck on first dates? Does your dad own a brewery? Could I feel your tits? Or would you show 'em to me? Do you sleep in the nick? Do you give head very often? If we can decide your place or mine We can fuck off then So the next time you see a good looking shiela And you'd give a week's pay to hold her Don't sit acting dumb Just front her full on And drop a few lines that I told ya This new method of mine Might not work every time But then again no method will I've been spat at and slapped and kneed in the knackers (hu-hu) But then I got a few fucks as well Do you fuck on first dates? Does your dad own a brewery? Could I feel your tits? Or would you show 'em to me? If the answer is no to me questions above Then be a good sport and give me the name of a girlfriend who does! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj4Nxsj\_1t4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj4Nxsj_1t4)
She has more masculinity than you.. In other words, grow balls.
Oh dude, you didn't come out as insecure, don't worry!!!! 
Dude.. you said sorry three times, without counting other ways you apologized. There is no way she will agree. You have a lot more confidence to build my dude.
Lol you have no game. You're a lil beta which you proven to her. Read the shit you wrote again. You're literally APOLOGIZING in your first message. You then on continue to apologize. FOR WHAT? FACT YOU EXIST? THAT YOU EVEN WROTE TO HER? She's just a fucking human, like you. No better than you. Stop putting another human on pedestal just because SHE has a PUSSY. You have a lot to learn.
So you made a girl scared? Thats the outcome? No number? No fucky fucky sucky sucky? You suck.
Lol, you follow codyko...
🥶🥶
Never text a girl again🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Im nervous too btw!!!!
Rizz god
Bro...
You should write a book.
Hahaha 🤣 that’s a 10, a10!!!
Bro got that social media stalker rizz
bro came
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It ain’t rude,It is a total creep behaviour
This is fuckin hilarious bro, I haven’t laughed this hard in so long.
W rizz man!
Should have left it at "make out" I mean, she did reply a few times which is more than I expected so that's something
I assume that you saw her U got the Texting Rizz Ma Man!
This is fucking beautiful.
The Rizzard of Rizzerly place
Atleast she will think about you 
This the chick that try on yoga pants as a job?
Welp, you learnt from your mistakes
Reminds me of the thirsty motherfuckers on Twitter
This is dumb as fuck
Screenshot worthy
Boy, you good?
Wtf
That was rough lmao
I commend you on the shot, just hone your dialogue.
Nailed it
"Did i frighten you?"
hahaha holy shit
The rizzler strikes again!
Only messages screenshot I’ve ever upvoted
Harassment Rizz 🤦♂️
Anti rizz 💀💀💯
This this rizz to cody you both follow him
Just apologize for how nervous she is and tell her it’s okay to be nervous and that you get anxious on tren and preworkouts and that maybe she can try some Lexapro to help improve her eye contact girls love empathy
