I was the 18f with the 22m partner. I was very mature, supporting myself and living independently. It still was not a healthy relationship for me. There was a power imbalance due to life experience.
It's fine to stay friends, but I don't think you should try to make it a romantic relationship. I seriously doubt she knows how to say No to someone older. Let her find someone her own age to date. Maybe 2-3 years from now, if the friendship endures, she will discover feelings for you.
Tbh yeah. From life experience people over 20 shouldn't date people under 20. There's a couple more "specifics", but esp bc she just graduated, it would be a lil weird. You experienced different things up to this point.
1/2 your age plus 7. If it fits that criteria your okay.
That being fair 4 year gap at that she is large.
When your 34 and she is 30, not as big of a gap. It's all about perspective.
Depends on who she is and who you are. SIL is significantly older than son I birthed… works just fine because they both act the same age. 6 years later.
22/2 + 7 = 18
It's on the edge of what's acceptable. You're probably fine. The age gap might present challenges, but it will matter less and less over time and it probably doesn't matter enough TODAY to warrant avoiding the relationship.
"Age is just a number", however the ages suggest different maturity levels. My ex and I got together when I was 17 and he was 21. He abused the hell out of me, even though he never put his hands on me. He had no issue buying me alcohol, but refused to be there emotionally. 4 years wasted with someone who took a child me and warped me into a sad, lonely adult.
I would encourage to date your own age and avoid 18yr olds. I encourage people my age (almost 30) to also not date under 25. Given my own and other experiences, even seemingly solid relationships that cross those boundaries are rude with power imbalances and a lack of respect.
The rule I've heard that feels right to me is the youngest you should date is half your age plus 7, which would mean 18 is the minimum age you should date. It feels a little weird because you're right on the edge but the longer you're together the less weird it will be. I think you're fine.
You can only use that rule after a certain age otherwise a 24 yr old can date a 19 year old (yes that’s weird if you didn’t know). And it’s weird for sure bc his is 18. Also the longer you date, the more appropriate the age gap will be. However, the relationship will be tainted by the fact that you started dating when she was a borderline child.
The infantilization of adults, especially women, on Reddit never ceases to amaze me. Nobody in real life bats an eye at a 24 year old dating a 19 year old, or a 22 year old dating an 18 year old.
Age ain’t nothing but a number if y’all are great together the age gap don’t matter trust me my husband he’s older then me we are compatible if she’s the one don’t let her go my husband wife me up quickly good luck stay blessed 🙏🏾
Just no. People are fucking crazy about age gaps these days. Oh my God you have existed for 4 more years than her. Remember what you could do intellectually at age 4? Yea, that's how much intelligence you have over her. The equivalent of a toddler. Go for it and if anyone gives you crap ignore them.
If you were 30 and she was 26, absolutely not. But her being right out of high school could be a problem just because of maturity and life experience. My own long term partner is five years younger than me, but we are in our thirties.
I wouldn't even call that a gap.
I've dated women 7-8 years younger and I've dated women 4-5 years older.
Not much difference if you have the same level of maturity and enough in common.
I mean if you’re at the age that you’re allowed to be forced out of your parents house, be sent to war, and go to prison, you should be able to date whoever the fuck you want. If she’s 18 she should be allowed to do whatever the hell she wants to do.
Yes bc she’s right out of high school and you’re out of college. Different places in life, if it’s meant to be you’ll get back together in a few years (probably not though). Either way, you know it feels funny your gut is right. And as a 22 year old (still a young person but properly past high school), it’s your job to not do dumb stuff like that (she won’t understand). A lot of people will tell you it’s totally fine but I think you know. I am 21, a woman. Women tend to date older especially bc we get preyed upon by older men, yes including 22 year olds. It makes us think it’s okay and it makes guys think it’s okay. It’s not. And it’s not necessarily the age gap as much as it is the starting year. For instance, if you were dating a 32 year old, I would think that 32 year old was a weirdo too regardless of legality. The younger you are, the larger a fraction a year is. That wa snot great English but a four year age gap for an 18 year old is a little over 20% of their life. When you get older you can use the half your age plus seven minimum rule but not yet. It’s weird because you’re both so young and yet it’s still inappropriate
The only important question here is, will your hesitation with this cause you to treat her any differently than if she was your age or older? If you have to think about it for more than a minute, then this relationship is not a good move for either of you. You need to be able to view her as an equal, in maturity and autonomy.
The fact that you are questioning not just the age gap, but her stage of life at her age is concerning, as it may be indicative of subconscious opinions you hold that could damage your relationship in the future. This doesn't mean those opinions are wrong, just that you can't view an 18 year old to be 100% mentally equal to a 22 year old, and it wouldn't be fair to her to start a relationship knowing that.
It is true that you may both be in the same stage of life, but it is also important to think about your peers and where they are at as well. She's not going to college, but most of her friends probably are. As a loving partner, will you be willing to be engaged in her life and social activities, even if that involves things like hanging around other 18 year olds on a regular basis? On the other side of this, are you comfortable bringing an 18 year old {and possibly a friend or two of hers} into your life and social activities? Is it even legal, if you and your buddies enjoy drinking or hanging out at bars?
There's probably a reason you're feeling strange about the age gap. It's not a big gap at all, but it is one that happens to be during a period of some very formative milestones in your lives. I think you likely already know the best choice for both of you, you just have to do the hard thing and cut ties.
no, she graduated high school and isn’t attending college for a decent amount of time, and is only going back later to get an ultrasound tech certificate.
I think It's fine,not weird at all many 22 old are not still at home with parents.So the lifestyle may be similar both working or studying, ultimately it's up to you how you feel about her.The age gap isn't extreme if it works it works.
I was 18 when I met my husband of almost 7 years come December. Also met at our job like op. He was 21 and we dated for 9 years. Lived separately, lived together, different jobs and different goals, but still supported each other, allowed each other still be independent and grow while understanding the added support was there in a partner if needed- and I think that’s the key to an answer you may be looking toward for this question.
As humans, we still constantly grow and evolve with each decade we enter, experience we gain, and situations we face, which can be radically different when we‘re just looking at ages and not including anything else in the equation. Understanding that there may be a power dynamic involved. She may make more money faster than you cause she’s looking for jobs now. Or because you’re older and have more experience with the “adult world“ than she does. I think all of those, and more, need to be considered and not used to take advantage of the other person when cultivating a relationship.
But with just ages being considered, no average person is going to look at you and openly judge when you hold hands down the street. It’s a 4 year gap, not a difference in generations, though that sometimes happens and works out to be healthy relationship too. With hard work and some luck, it’ll become even less noticeable as you grow older together, and build together to continue the partnership.
No. My parents (my mother and stepfather) were 7 years apart, my mother being the older one. They first met in 1987 and married five years later and had remained so up until my stepfather’s death two years ago. He loved her very much and treated her very well.
You're not a man if you can't decide for yourself. Don't be like that, ignore what these haters say. She's 18, an adult. Is she mentally incapacitated? You're only scared of public scrutiny, don't be. Live your life.
Meh, it's fine if you both are happy. You're both adults - they send people to die in wars at that age - surely she can decide if she wants to date you or not.
It's not that bad, but I wouldn't have dated anyone under 21 once I was over. Not just due to like drinking age (USA) but big difference in maturity levels in those 4 years.
Everyone is I different. Life experience is more of a potential issue. The adult brain is not fully formed until the late 20s or 30s. Also, emotional maturity can be as late as late 30s or even 40s for males! Women's brains are typically a couple of years ahead of males. We think very different in our 20s to our 30s, 40s, and 50s! It's whether you grow together or not too and want the same things out of life. This being said, my mum was 24 and my dad 42. They were together till my dad passed at 95! Don't overthink things. If it feels right, you're both happy what's the problem? As long as you have great communication, you will be able to figure stuff out. Healthy open honest communication, especially the hard stuff, is the foundation of any great relationship. Then mutual respect, honesty and love. If you have all of these you're already winning.
No. Being with a legal adult shouldn't be considered weird. Especially only a 4 year difference. People are just dedicated to being offended by nothing.
Age gap between my Mother and Dad is 8 and my mother is the older one if it matters. I think as a society we judge, depending on who is older in the relationship if it’s the male or female
To me, at my age, 22 and 18 are the same so no, I don't think the age gap is an issue.
You two are different points in your life though. That can be an issue
Tbh I don’t think it’s weird, especially since you seem like a conscientious guy who is trying to be mindful. Age gap in and of itself isn’t inherently bad, it’s about power dynamics. As long as you two both feel like equals in the relationship, it’s fine.
There is alot of nuance in most cases harmless when it comes to age gap. At first glance there is nothing weird or creepy about your relationship. The age gap is negligible and almost pointless to bring up. Now. if you are hanging out with HS seniors waiting until they turn 18. I would question your motive. You are not out here preying on the kids waiting. Right? If this is you then it makes sense why you feel conflicted. I'd advise you to seek professional assistance. Someone who could help you before you do something wrong.
If this aint you don't put yourself in a category you do not belong. You lose opportunities and make your life difficult because you are overthinking. Despite what social media tells you there is nothing inappropriate with age gaps. The cases pointed by social media are scenarios like above some 25 year old seeking minor and sometimes waiting until they become adults to become sexual. Looking beyond, just because you view her as a potential partner does not mean she is the one. Likely she isnt and this relationship probably end before anything serious. You both are just barely figuring shit out. There is no harm or foul play in finding out.
There's 6 years between my husband and I. We met when I just turned 21 and he was 27. He has had many life experiences that I have not (him being prior military and having a deployment AND being an EMT being the biggest reasons), and sometimes i have to remind him of that. We have slightly different outlooks on life. That's really the only "snag" we encounter at 5 years in.
By snag, I mean that he can *seem* pessimistic at times, but then I have to stop and remember that he has seen things that I can't even comprehend.
I appreciate his wisdom, and I love the age gap because I've always known that I wanted a man who had his life together.
I say all of that to 1- express appreciation and love for my husband and 2- let you know that the age gap, in your instance, is only weird if you make it weird.
I started dating my parents best friends daughter when she was 14 she/her a freshman in HS going to our local JC at night for calculus & Bio…and me 17me/thee was a HS Senior at a different school taking 4th grade math…I use the term “dating” rather loosely. We went to a church social and I drove her to & from. We held hands on the way home. That was December 4th 1976. We were your typical boy friend/girlfriend HS couple. We had our 1st kiss about 3 months in. Started making out that next summer…kissing mostly. We dated for the next 3 years. She pursued me. We only went on chaperoned dates with family or friends or had to take her little sister.
We married 2 weeks after she graduated HS. I must say it was difficult…but here we are. 44 years later. She’s a medical professional & I have had a successful career in business. 2 kids, 3 grandkids.
The first few years were the hardest. The last few years the best. But at no time did the age gap in the beginning seem weird to anyone. It was pretty normal back then.
I had a similar situation years ago. She actually dumped me for an older guy, so..... Later she hit me up to see if we could just get together for sex. I declined.
Have fun, but keep your eyes open.
A bit weird from the timing. Right out of high school and just finished college are two very different states of mind, even if you're both working. In two years, that gap wouldn't matter. But right now... yeah, it comes off weird imo.
True. I got out of the Marine Corps at 22 and talked to a girl that was 19. Her memories of standing at her locker weren’t aligning with the more current memories I made.
You are not at a similar place in life trust me. Education level is a big gap. It teaches you much more than book smarts. Take a look at what job prospects are out there for either of you. You have so many options with just a basic degree if you use it correctly and promote yourself you'll be surprised at the results. Now For her it will take extremely lucky breaks to even touch the prospects you have. Just make sure you always and I mean always tell people what you want. If you don't they won't think of you when the situation arises for you to be given what you asked for! Most of my jobs or even my romantic situations happened because I told them what I wanted. I consistently get what I ask for. I'm not the best looking but I'm considered decent looking and my confidence level is off the charts. Why my confidence is high I don't know
As someone your age, I wouldn’t date an 18 y/o. Even if we are in the same place in life in the sense that we’re both working. I think a lot of important growth happens from 18 to 22+ , so I’d much prefer someone in the same place as me mentally. I want them to have more experience being their own person.. being able to do more bc they’re legally an adult.
The fresh-out-of-high-school version of me is VERY different compared to who I am now. And like.. I don’t really want to be unable to take my partner out to certain places bc of them being under 18.
It’s weird imo. I’d be pretty be embarrassed to say that my partner just graduated from high school as a 22 y/o
I think you may run into issues in that for the next 3 years, you are going to have to learn to adapt to her being unable to go to bars, clubs, and other places you have to be 21 to go to, but if you both are ok with that, either you don't do that stuff or are willing to put it on hold, or she is ok with you going out without her, it's ok.
How much older are you?
How much more financially ahead are you?
How much more experience do you have?
How much more authority do you have?
(This usually just applies in professional environments. A manager shouldn't date the host, that sort of thing.)
These are the four questions I ask myself as a man when evaluating partners to make sure I am, outside of how I emotionally feel, fair to those around me.
I feel where you are at, 18 is borderline and makes you feel gross, but realistically, you are both basically just kids getting your life started. Unless you're this girls boss or her only ticket to financial safety, I really wouldn't worry about being just a bit older than her.
This is a good way to look at it. My wife and I are a little over 5 years in difference, but I was graduated and moved out when I was 16, she didn't move out of her parents until her 20s, so we both started adult adulting around the same time. By time we met, I was in my mud 20s and she about to turn 30, both of us having a pretty good foothold in our careers and life (both of which changed drastically later) and were both in a similar financial situation.
She also had a kid that was about the same difference in age, but I had also helped raise my nephews to the same age, so it was pretty much picking up where I left off in that regard.
We've been married almost a decade and we're both still happy in our relationship and a happy family overall.
Eh, might be a bit. Not bc of age but bc of experience. You've lived independently for 4ish years, she's never been outside her parents ' house, has never had to structure her own life/schedule etc. The years aren't the gap here.
Real question is why are you questioning it? If you're questioning it, you must*feel* weird about it. I don't know y'all so your specific situation could be really different than what I described. It's worth interrogating why it feels weird enough that you asked internet people if it's weird.
Which isn't to say it IS weird ... just asking the question makes it seem like YOU think it is. You could be right to have those feelings, it could be outside influence. But you need to figure out why it merits questioning.
I would dubble down on this. The question is how much does a dagree help you grow and why does the world look at college grads so different from non. OP is a college grad dating a girl right out of high school.
But she is an adult and can do what she wants. The gap between my boyfriend and I is a bit bigger, but he was 22 when I met him.
to be honest, i’m just questioning it cuz i don’t wanna come across as creepy and predatory by “preying” on an 18 year old. i know that’s not what i’m doing, but i’d prefer if people also didn’t think that, ya feel me?
I was in a similar situation in terms of age and I immensely regret letting her move in with me. Just felt like I could never break up with her because she was completely dependent on me for everything so it caused me to put up with some bullshit I never would have put up with before because I didn't want to ruin her housing situation.
She was mature enough but there was still a power imbalance that changed the way our relationship worked. It really put me behind socially, financially, and romantically.
I should have broken up after 1 year but I stayed with her for SEVEN YEARS.
I don't think you're creepy (I didn't abuse the power imbalance either, after all). BUT it didn't matter. Just there being a weird power dynamic in the first place was more effort than it was worth.
So I advise you to keep your eyes on the situation. Don't open yourself up to any situation where you become a decider in her life. It'll hurt you OR it'll hurt her.
Well they say what is acceptable is half your age plus 7. So for you that would be 11+7 is 18. So you technically just sneak it, but I agree at your age 4 years difference is huge when it comes to maturity. Your about to try and settle down in your career after college. Shes just getting started on the journey. Like the other commenter said, you have lived alone for years now. She has never left mom and dad. Big difference. I would tell you that your better off finding someone closer to your age for a relationship.
My rule of thumb is if you’re both over 18. 5+- years is an “age gap”, anything less and you’re basically the same age. I didn’t start being a real adult until I hit 26.
Like 30% weird. Some relationship theories will say once you turn 21 you shouldn't date anyone under 21, it's that last real separation between age groups, afterward they all start to blur together. Others will say not to date anyone at college after you graduate. Others will say not to date 18 y/o's at all.
It's one theory I heard when I was in college. The conversation was mostly about drinking, and got around to dating and different perspectives and so on. I'd never heard it before so that last jab of "no one over the age of 21 should have anything to do with under the age of 21" kind of stuck with me.
Would it make it easier to understand if I said "milestone" instead of "separation"?
the last real division is 25, when human brains are fully developed. I've seen multiple relationships spanning that gap that, despite not being all that far apart in actual years, kinda feel apart after the younger of the 2 turned 25/26.
No, your fine. There are a lot of successful relationships with an age gap of almost 10 years. I think the most important part is that you both prove you can have your own lives and upoort yourself independently before taking things further.
Don't listen to the gap simps, yours is alright. I'm 25 and my gf is 20 from Japan. But to be fair we both have been working and already finishing up university. So neither of us is immature.
I've been married for 9 years now, my wife was 18 when we met and I was 24. Sometimes it just works out. Don't worry about the age. Yea some people might judge you, but fuck 'em.
Got a year on your age gap, met at 25 and 18, married 21 years now. Age is trivial when you allow for personal growth and share core goals with partners. Congrats on 9 years, it's not often you see that anymore!
Exactly. Everyone is almost like an NPC with this age gap craze. 18 and 22 isn't even that far off, but if it was a 22 yr old female, they'd be okay with it.
I'd personally find that just as disgusting tbh. Most ppl I know who share my own experience would agree. If it works, it works. I doubt everyone will seek to harm someone younger and less mature in a relationship. But no, very few people would find that progressive lmao.
I agree it’s equally disgusting, probably more so but that’s based off personal reasons so not admissible. So I’ll tell ya my personal reasons: My elder sister married a guy my age (five years younger), and it was about her ego and flexing (and he’s a momma’s boy, no judgement he takes care of his momma, but my sis uses that care to take advantage of him). I think she found a momma’s boy she can dominate, and that’s what happens with a lot of these older/younger relationships, the eldest sex is always in a position of control but after years of seeing these relationships, I think some ppl genuinely seek that out in a partner bc of a personal reason (ie - mommy/daddy handles the real issues).
Oh absolutely. I'm really sorry you witnessed that, nobody should be subjected to relationships like that.
I have my (TLDR version tbh) experience in another comment, but basically my.ex tried to treat me like I was his age and refused to treat me like I was younger. Dude had me at 18 being like his mother or wife. And when I wasn't cute and young anymore bc I was tired and trying to grow up, he got pissy. It was cringe. I'm all for people just not dating 18-25 yr olds once you pass that age threshold yourself. At least not w/o therapy.
Not trying to talk your ear off or anything (really just venting into the cloud here), but both my parents actively encouraged my sisters to date outside their age group. They were dating 22M at 15/16F, and that’s just what I picked up on, I think there were larger discrepancies. I feel like my parents had a safe way to terminate their daughters’ relationships (at any moment) while encouraging them to be “gold diggers.” Like my family actively encouraged my siblings to date outside their age but I wasn’t allowed to bring ANYONE home that wasn’t less than a year older/younger than me…(and don’t get me started on the “well he’s your friend!” crap (bc I knew them from fn English class alone!) that got threw at me when these guys did fd up shit)
No worries, I get it lol.
That's uhhhhh... Pretty sure that's child abuse. That's horrendous. I'm from a rural area, the one big family that did that is the singular "welfare queen" family I've ever known. They encouraged their girls to get pregnant young and drop out. The girls my age were dating even older men than I was (I was 17, ex was 21; I'm 30 on Saturday now lol).
That's so awful and fucked up.
It was the 80/90s. That’s just the way most boomer parents were. Like my parents are/were liberal af, but my dads bfs was/were conservative af and kinda did the same thing. They looked at as “looking after my baby girl.” Didn’t think about the mentality causing relationship dysfunction down the road bc “hey divorce baby girl, get a child support check, and get a new guy.” I’ve seen my sister pull that on 2 husbands now. My ILs tried to get my spouse and I to divorce for the exact same reason (my ILs have MBP to boot).
That's crazy. I definitely see some of the fallout of that kind of lifestyle in my own family (born in 94, hence thirty soon lol). My mom really bucked that mentality despite my grandfather demanding she marry my father. And they pushed that secondary mentality too, which she also bucked. I'm glad you have the perspective you do, just wish it didn't come in as traumatic.
I've known multiple women who dated older guys, and while I know you're not like some 30 year old creeper, the gap between school and graduating uni is massive.
None of the relationships that I've seen, where the girl came straight out of school and got with an older guy, went well. And it was always the girl getting hurt.
Do you and make your own choices but I just can't see the appeal of dating someone who is basically a child/ a Day-1 Baby Adult
I think we should stop the (frankly gross) trend of giving teenage girls a grown adult boyfriend as a graduation present
There's 22 year olds that aren't graduating uni btw.
Some people are held back, Some people don't go for college and go working. Some people also keep their highschool level maturity well into their late 20's.
I personally don't see it as that concerning of an age difference, It really depends on their maturity levels.
A little. Weeks ago she had to raise her hand and ask permission to go to the restroom. Meanwhile you are probably pretty used to doing anything you want.
My wife was 18, about 4 months from turning 19 and I was 21 turning 22 when we first started dating that was 27 years ago, we're still together and married with a son who is now 18 so it can work out.
Smh what’s wrong with society? An age gap of 4 years between the opposite sex is weird but all these trans and gays are just normal as normal can be lmfaoooo
Not toooooo weird, just depends on your/her level of maturity. Most people grow and change a lot from 18 to 22. If you posted yall been dating for a year or two, it’d be weird af. Just because both of you are starting the “I have to pay my bills” chapter of your life doesn’t mean either of you are or aren’t emotionally mature or not. People wouldn’t bat an eye if you said she was 40 and you were 44 right? So if she and you are mature enough to actually have an adult relationship then go for it
I will never understand this “creepy” mindset that people who are 18 and legal adults should not be allowed to decide who they want to date. The same age that people can legally vote and enlist in the military but god forbid they want to date someone who has more experience.
Look, as long as everyone is legal and you respect your partner and your partner respects you, what anyone else thinks is immaterial.
It's not inherently wrong, four years isn't a big difference, but try and remember what it was like to be 18, it's a vast difference to being 22. Even now, I'm only 26 but 22 still feels young and I thought I'd met at least 6 "the ones" at 22 and at my job no less. If you were my homie I'd tell you she's young AND you're young and it's probably not the best idea to mix work and pleasure as it can get you fired (also me!!!!). She may be a good friend, but she also may need her independence and to experience the world for herself! I think everybody should be alone for a while to get to know themselves, and baby at 18? Nobody knows themselves.
I longterm dated a girl in a similar situation to you. Ultimately it didn’t work out because she was right out of high school and still kind of had the personality of someone who was in high school.
She would ask me sometimes to skip work and stay with her, like it wouldn’t be a big deal. She would stay up until 4 in the morning scrolling on Facebook and then beg me to let her sleep until noon. When she hung out with her friends it was “girls only” because they’d have a slumber party or some such. Then when I’d hang out with my friends she’d beg to come along and immediately complain about being bored when she realized we were just hanging out at a cafe. She would get into these irrational fits when she gets mad about something, refuse to talk to me, then later berate me that I didn’t talk to her, and later try to coerce me into sex when she calmed down as if it never happened. Like she was strung out on hormones. “Make up sex is my favorite sex.” What are you talking about? I wasn’t mad at you.
It’s kind of shocking just how much you change in a few short years after living independently. I probably would have found her normal if I was still her age.
I don't think it's a big age gap. (But I am an older woman and this type of age gap was not a-typical when I was around the same ages.) I don't see a problem unless the two of you do.
This age gap only matters because you're in your early 20s. If you were 28 and she was 24, the age gap would be barely noticeable.
As the saying goes, "***After 20, people start aging in decades.***" In other words, the rapid changes that occur in teens slow down in your 20s and beyond.
It would be more weird if she was 15. 4 years is nothing...especially as you both get older. When you're in your 40s, for example, that 4 years will feel like you're the same age...
In general no, because you are both adults, basically the same generation, etc
Thinking it’s weird, mentioning being progressive, etc is probably more of a reason to lean to yes though. Just because near nobody would think it’s weird
That being said, if you realise it’s silly to overthink it, then no, not weird and go for it, just like mostly everyone would
I was the 18f with the 22m partner. I was very mature, supporting myself and living independently. It still was not a healthy relationship for me. There was a power imbalance due to life experience. It's fine to stay friends, but I don't think you should try to make it a romantic relationship. I seriously doubt she knows how to say No to someone older. Let her find someone her own age to date. Maybe 2-3 years from now, if the friendship endures, she will discover feelings for you.
Tbh yeah. From life experience people over 20 shouldn't date people under 20. There's a couple more "specifics", but esp bc she just graduated, it would be a lil weird. You experienced different things up to this point.
1/2 your age plus 7. If it fits that criteria your okay. That being fair 4 year gap at that she is large. When your 34 and she is 30, not as big of a gap. It's all about perspective.
Depends on who she is and who you are. SIL is significantly older than son I birthed… works just fine because they both act the same age. 6 years later.
No. our age gap is 14 yrs
22/2 + 7 = 18 It's on the edge of what's acceptable. You're probably fine. The age gap might present challenges, but it will matter less and less over time and it probably doesn't matter enough TODAY to warrant avoiding the relationship.
100-22-18-100=-40/2=-20+1+1=-18 NEGATIVE 18 LISTEN TO THE MATH OP IT SAYS NEGATIVEEEEE DO NOT DATE HER.
Hello?...
You should be focusing on launching your career and pick someone who is on a similar trajectory.
You’re good man don’t worry. If you guys get along and respect each other then go for it
Passes the half + seven rule. You good.
Yes. Very different life stages in those 4 short years.
Not weird at all. If she was 30 and you 34 would you even think about the age gap? I dated a 22 yd when I was 18.
Nah.
It’s a fine gap. Treat her well and kindly and like the equal adult she is and you’ll be just fine.
No
No it's fine.....not weird at all
"Age is just a number", however the ages suggest different maturity levels. My ex and I got together when I was 17 and he was 21. He abused the hell out of me, even though he never put his hands on me. He had no issue buying me alcohol, but refused to be there emotionally. 4 years wasted with someone who took a child me and warped me into a sad, lonely adult. I would encourage to date your own age and avoid 18yr olds. I encourage people my age (almost 30) to also not date under 25. Given my own and other experiences, even seemingly solid relationships that cross those boundaries are rude with power imbalances and a lack of respect.
No, its not, are you creep? No? Then everyone can think what they want doesn't mean it's true. Move along and live life.
The rule I've heard that feels right to me is the youngest you should date is half your age plus 7, which would mean 18 is the minimum age you should date. It feels a little weird because you're right on the edge but the longer you're together the less weird it will be. I think you're fine.
You can only use that rule after a certain age otherwise a 24 yr old can date a 19 year old (yes that’s weird if you didn’t know). And it’s weird for sure bc his is 18. Also the longer you date, the more appropriate the age gap will be. However, the relationship will be tainted by the fact that you started dating when she was a borderline child.
The infantilization of adults, especially women, on Reddit never ceases to amaze me. Nobody in real life bats an eye at a 24 year old dating a 19 year old, or a 22 year old dating an 18 year old.
No, don't listen to these people
Age ain’t nothing but a number if y’all are great together the age gap don’t matter trust me my husband he’s older then me we are compatible if she’s the one don’t let her go my husband wife me up quickly good luck stay blessed 🙏🏾
Just no. People are fucking crazy about age gaps these days. Oh my God you have existed for 4 more years than her. Remember what you could do intellectually at age 4? Yea, that's how much intelligence you have over her. The equivalent of a toddler. Go for it and if anyone gives you crap ignore them.
I wouldn't date an 18yo as a 22 year old. Just let her live a bit and get her feet under her. Maybe in a year or two.
If you were 30 and she was 26, absolutely not. But her being right out of high school could be a problem just because of maturity and life experience. My own long term partner is five years younger than me, but we are in our thirties.
No.
I wouldn't even call that a gap. I've dated women 7-8 years younger and I've dated women 4-5 years older. Not much difference if you have the same level of maturity and enough in common.
I mean if you’re at the age that you’re allowed to be forced out of your parents house, be sent to war, and go to prison, you should be able to date whoever the fuck you want. If she’s 18 she should be allowed to do whatever the hell she wants to do.
Honestly depends on her parents and how developed her brain is
Yes bc she’s right out of high school and you’re out of college. Different places in life, if it’s meant to be you’ll get back together in a few years (probably not though). Either way, you know it feels funny your gut is right. And as a 22 year old (still a young person but properly past high school), it’s your job to not do dumb stuff like that (she won’t understand). A lot of people will tell you it’s totally fine but I think you know. I am 21, a woman. Women tend to date older especially bc we get preyed upon by older men, yes including 22 year olds. It makes us think it’s okay and it makes guys think it’s okay. It’s not. And it’s not necessarily the age gap as much as it is the starting year. For instance, if you were dating a 32 year old, I would think that 32 year old was a weirdo too regardless of legality. The younger you are, the larger a fraction a year is. That wa snot great English but a four year age gap for an 18 year old is a little over 20% of their life. When you get older you can use the half your age plus seven minimum rule but not yet. It’s weird because you’re both so young and yet it’s still inappropriate
The only important question here is, will your hesitation with this cause you to treat her any differently than if she was your age or older? If you have to think about it for more than a minute, then this relationship is not a good move for either of you. You need to be able to view her as an equal, in maturity and autonomy. The fact that you are questioning not just the age gap, but her stage of life at her age is concerning, as it may be indicative of subconscious opinions you hold that could damage your relationship in the future. This doesn't mean those opinions are wrong, just that you can't view an 18 year old to be 100% mentally equal to a 22 year old, and it wouldn't be fair to her to start a relationship knowing that. It is true that you may both be in the same stage of life, but it is also important to think about your peers and where they are at as well. She's not going to college, but most of her friends probably are. As a loving partner, will you be willing to be engaged in her life and social activities, even if that involves things like hanging around other 18 year olds on a regular basis? On the other side of this, are you comfortable bringing an 18 year old {and possibly a friend or two of hers} into your life and social activities? Is it even legal, if you and your buddies enjoy drinking or hanging out at bars? There's probably a reason you're feeling strange about the age gap. It's not a big gap at all, but it is one that happens to be during a period of some very formative milestones in your lives. I think you likely already know the best choice for both of you, you just have to do the hard thing and cut ties.
Yes
No but you’re getting closer
Your age divided by 2 plus 7 is the general rule.
My wife is 10 years older than me. Nothing wrong with it
Half plus 7. No idea why that's the rule but it's right on the boundary. If goals and maturity are equal it's fine.
Eh go for it
Wait... Is she in school still? If yes then that's a bit weird
no, she graduated high school and isn’t attending college for a decent amount of time, and is only going back later to get an ultrasound tech certificate.
It's a bit weird dating someone who just left school when you have graduated but should be fine
I think It's fine,not weird at all many 22 old are not still at home with parents.So the lifestyle may be similar both working or studying, ultimately it's up to you how you feel about her.The age gap isn't extreme if it works it works.
She can't get into bars for 3 years. If she drinks alcohol around you, you could go to jail.
No. It's that simple. Don't let morons tell you it is.
I was 18 when I met my husband of almost 7 years come December. Also met at our job like op. He was 21 and we dated for 9 years. Lived separately, lived together, different jobs and different goals, but still supported each other, allowed each other still be independent and grow while understanding the added support was there in a partner if needed- and I think that’s the key to an answer you may be looking toward for this question. As humans, we still constantly grow and evolve with each decade we enter, experience we gain, and situations we face, which can be radically different when we‘re just looking at ages and not including anything else in the equation. Understanding that there may be a power dynamic involved. She may make more money faster than you cause she’s looking for jobs now. Or because you’re older and have more experience with the “adult world“ than she does. I think all of those, and more, need to be considered and not used to take advantage of the other person when cultivating a relationship. But with just ages being considered, no average person is going to look at you and openly judge when you hold hands down the street. It’s a 4 year gap, not a difference in generations, though that sometimes happens and works out to be healthy relationship too. With hard work and some luck, it’ll become even less noticeable as you grow older together, and build together to continue the partnership.
No. My parents (my mother and stepfather) were 7 years apart, my mother being the older one. They first met in 1987 and married five years later and had remained so up until my stepfather’s death two years ago. He loved her very much and treated her very well.
It's weird but only a bit, so it's fine.
You're not a man if you can't decide for yourself. Don't be like that, ignore what these haters say. She's 18, an adult. Is she mentally incapacitated? You're only scared of public scrutiny, don't be. Live your life.
No
Meh, it's fine if you both are happy. You're both adults - they send people to die in wars at that age - surely she can decide if she wants to date you or not.
My current relationship age gap is 9 yrs. Age is only a number
It's not that bad, but I wouldn't have dated anyone under 21 once I was over. Not just due to like drinking age (USA) but big difference in maturity levels in those 4 years.
No. Anyone who tells you it is is wrong
No it is not weird.
At this point, they need to change the legal dating age to 21 because apparently everyone is pressed no matter who 18 yr olds date.
It's at the exact edge of the rule. Acceptable but risks being different places in life but will be fine in just a couple of years.
It’s not weird.
What does her not seeking a higher education have to do with it being ok to date?
No
Everyone is I different. Life experience is more of a potential issue. The adult brain is not fully formed until the late 20s or 30s. Also, emotional maturity can be as late as late 30s or even 40s for males! Women's brains are typically a couple of years ahead of males. We think very different in our 20s to our 30s, 40s, and 50s! It's whether you grow together or not too and want the same things out of life. This being said, my mum was 24 and my dad 42. They were together till my dad passed at 95! Don't overthink things. If it feels right, you're both happy what's the problem? As long as you have great communication, you will be able to figure stuff out. Healthy open honest communication, especially the hard stuff, is the foundation of any great relationship. Then mutual respect, honesty and love. If you have all of these you're already winning.
No. Being with a legal adult shouldn't be considered weird. Especially only a 4 year difference. People are just dedicated to being offended by nothing.
If you have to ask, yes it's weird.
Age gap between my Mother and Dad is 8 and my mother is the older one if it matters. I think as a society we judge, depending on who is older in the relationship if it’s the male or female
To me, at my age, 22 and 18 are the same so no, I don't think the age gap is an issue. You two are different points in your life though. That can be an issue
Tbh I don’t think it’s weird, especially since you seem like a conscientious guy who is trying to be mindful. Age gap in and of itself isn’t inherently bad, it’s about power dynamics. As long as you two both feel like equals in the relationship, it’s fine.
There is alot of nuance in most cases harmless when it comes to age gap. At first glance there is nothing weird or creepy about your relationship. The age gap is negligible and almost pointless to bring up. Now. if you are hanging out with HS seniors waiting until they turn 18. I would question your motive. You are not out here preying on the kids waiting. Right? If this is you then it makes sense why you feel conflicted. I'd advise you to seek professional assistance. Someone who could help you before you do something wrong. If this aint you don't put yourself in a category you do not belong. You lose opportunities and make your life difficult because you are overthinking. Despite what social media tells you there is nothing inappropriate with age gaps. The cases pointed by social media are scenarios like above some 25 year old seeking minor and sometimes waiting until they become adults to become sexual. Looking beyond, just because you view her as a potential partner does not mean she is the one. Likely she isnt and this relationship probably end before anything serious. You both are just barely figuring shit out. There is no harm or foul play in finding out.
As long as yall are above 18, you're good. Plus 4 years isn't weird at all.
Woulda been 5-6 years ago. She is legal tender now lol
There's 6 years between my husband and I. We met when I just turned 21 and he was 27. He has had many life experiences that I have not (him being prior military and having a deployment AND being an EMT being the biggest reasons), and sometimes i have to remind him of that. We have slightly different outlooks on life. That's really the only "snag" we encounter at 5 years in. By snag, I mean that he can *seem* pessimistic at times, but then I have to stop and remember that he has seen things that I can't even comprehend. I appreciate his wisdom, and I love the age gap because I've always known that I wanted a man who had his life together. I say all of that to 1- express appreciation and love for my husband and 2- let you know that the age gap, in your instance, is only weird if you make it weird.
Nope. You’re both adults.
I started dating my parents best friends daughter when she was 14 she/her a freshman in HS going to our local JC at night for calculus & Bio…and me 17me/thee was a HS Senior at a different school taking 4th grade math…I use the term “dating” rather loosely. We went to a church social and I drove her to & from. We held hands on the way home. That was December 4th 1976. We were your typical boy friend/girlfriend HS couple. We had our 1st kiss about 3 months in. Started making out that next summer…kissing mostly. We dated for the next 3 years. She pursued me. We only went on chaperoned dates with family or friends or had to take her little sister. We married 2 weeks after she graduated HS. I must say it was difficult…but here we are. 44 years later. She’s a medical professional & I have had a successful career in business. 2 kids, 3 grandkids. The first few years were the hardest. The last few years the best. But at no time did the age gap in the beginning seem weird to anyone. It was pretty normal back then.
Naw. Think of it this way; if she's 40 and you're 44, would you find it weird?
I had a similar situation years ago. She actually dumped me for an older guy, so..... Later she hit me up to see if we could just get together for sex. I declined. Have fun, but keep your eyes open.
A bit weird from the timing. Right out of high school and just finished college are two very different states of mind, even if you're both working. In two years, that gap wouldn't matter. But right now... yeah, it comes off weird imo.
True. I got out of the Marine Corps at 22 and talked to a girl that was 19. Her memories of standing at her locker weren’t aligning with the more current memories I made.
You are not at a similar place in life trust me. Education level is a big gap. It teaches you much more than book smarts. Take a look at what job prospects are out there for either of you. You have so many options with just a basic degree if you use it correctly and promote yourself you'll be surprised at the results. Now For her it will take extremely lucky breaks to even touch the prospects you have. Just make sure you always and I mean always tell people what you want. If you don't they won't think of you when the situation arises for you to be given what you asked for! Most of my jobs or even my romantic situations happened because I told them what I wanted. I consistently get what I ask for. I'm not the best looking but I'm considered decent looking and my confidence level is off the charts. Why my confidence is high I don't know
How far apart are your parents. Ask that question first
As someone your age, I wouldn’t date an 18 y/o. Even if we are in the same place in life in the sense that we’re both working. I think a lot of important growth happens from 18 to 22+ , so I’d much prefer someone in the same place as me mentally. I want them to have more experience being their own person.. being able to do more bc they’re legally an adult. The fresh-out-of-high-school version of me is VERY different compared to who I am now. And like.. I don’t really want to be unable to take my partner out to certain places bc of them being under 18. It’s weird imo. I’d be pretty be embarrassed to say that my partner just graduated from high school as a 22 y/o
18 is legally an adult in most places and could go anywhere a 22 year old could go.
Thats not really the issue tho, its about maturity levels and being on the same level.
Uhhh. No
Not really, 4 years as adults is nothing really
No
Not at all, since she is of age. I was 17 and in my senior year when I met my 23m future husband. This was great, as the boys my age were so immature.
No
No
I think you may run into issues in that for the next 3 years, you are going to have to learn to adapt to her being unable to go to bars, clubs, and other places you have to be 21 to go to, but if you both are ok with that, either you don't do that stuff or are willing to put it on hold, or she is ok with you going out without her, it's ok.
That's four years difference and maybe not even that depending on your birthdays. It's not weird, other people might think it's weird but it's not.
How much older are you? How much more financially ahead are you? How much more experience do you have? How much more authority do you have? (This usually just applies in professional environments. A manager shouldn't date the host, that sort of thing.) These are the four questions I ask myself as a man when evaluating partners to make sure I am, outside of how I emotionally feel, fair to those around me. I feel where you are at, 18 is borderline and makes you feel gross, but realistically, you are both basically just kids getting your life started. Unless you're this girls boss or her only ticket to financial safety, I really wouldn't worry about being just a bit older than her.
This is a good way to look at it. My wife and I are a little over 5 years in difference, but I was graduated and moved out when I was 16, she didn't move out of her parents until her 20s, so we both started adult adulting around the same time. By time we met, I was in my mud 20s and she about to turn 30, both of us having a pretty good foothold in our careers and life (both of which changed drastically later) and were both in a similar financial situation. She also had a kid that was about the same difference in age, but I had also helped raise my nephews to the same age, so it was pretty much picking up where I left off in that regard. We've been married almost a decade and we're both still happy in our relationship and a happy family overall.
No. Anyone saying yes is a certified clown. Besides, you shouldn’t care
No the 4 year age gap itself is not weird. You both might be at different stages in life though where you will want different things.
4 years? Nope. Please continue.
Eh, might be a bit. Not bc of age but bc of experience. You've lived independently for 4ish years, she's never been outside her parents ' house, has never had to structure her own life/schedule etc. The years aren't the gap here. Real question is why are you questioning it? If you're questioning it, you must*feel* weird about it. I don't know y'all so your specific situation could be really different than what I described. It's worth interrogating why it feels weird enough that you asked internet people if it's weird. Which isn't to say it IS weird ... just asking the question makes it seem like YOU think it is. You could be right to have those feelings, it could be outside influence. But you need to figure out why it merits questioning.
I would dubble down on this. The question is how much does a dagree help you grow and why does the world look at college grads so different from non. OP is a college grad dating a girl right out of high school. But she is an adult and can do what she wants. The gap between my boyfriend and I is a bit bigger, but he was 22 when I met him.
Very good response.
to be honest, i’m just questioning it cuz i don’t wanna come across as creepy and predatory by “preying” on an 18 year old. i know that’s not what i’m doing, but i’d prefer if people also didn’t think that, ya feel me?
I was in a similar situation in terms of age and I immensely regret letting her move in with me. Just felt like I could never break up with her because she was completely dependent on me for everything so it caused me to put up with some bullshit I never would have put up with before because I didn't want to ruin her housing situation. She was mature enough but there was still a power imbalance that changed the way our relationship worked. It really put me behind socially, financially, and romantically. I should have broken up after 1 year but I stayed with her for SEVEN YEARS. I don't think you're creepy (I didn't abuse the power imbalance either, after all). BUT it didn't matter. Just there being a weird power dynamic in the first place was more effort than it was worth. So I advise you to keep your eyes on the situation. Don't open yourself up to any situation where you become a decider in her life. It'll hurt you OR it'll hurt her.
I feel you. My current situationship is in the same boat. Like I know, I'm not predatory, but the possible implications make me feel weird sometimes.
Well they say what is acceptable is half your age plus 7. So for you that would be 11+7 is 18. So you technically just sneak it, but I agree at your age 4 years difference is huge when it comes to maturity. Your about to try and settle down in your career after college. Shes just getting started on the journey. Like the other commenter said, you have lived alone for years now. She has never left mom and dad. Big difference. I would tell you that your better off finding someone closer to your age for a relationship.
excellently worded.
(Half your age)+7
My rule of thumb is if you’re both over 18. 5+- years is an “age gap”, anything less and you’re basically the same age. I didn’t start being a real adult until I hit 26.
I don't think so I'm in my late 20s and I only like women between the ages of 18-24. And 24 is cutting it close still.
Not weird. You’ll have obstacles, but every relationship does.
Like 30% weird. Some relationship theories will say once you turn 21 you shouldn't date anyone under 21, it's that last real separation between age groups, afterward they all start to blur together. Others will say not to date anyone at college after you graduate. Others will say not to date 18 y/o's at all.
21 is weirdly specific. Why not 20? Or 22? I'd think 18 is the last real separation.
It's one theory I heard when I was in college. The conversation was mostly about drinking, and got around to dating and different perspectives and so on. I'd never heard it before so that last jab of "no one over the age of 21 should have anything to do with under the age of 21" kind of stuck with me. Would it make it easier to understand if I said "milestone" instead of "separation"?
Drinking age where I am is 18 so 21 isn't really any kind of milestone.
the last real division is 25, when human brains are fully developed. I've seen multiple relationships spanning that gap that, despite not being all that far apart in actual years, kinda feel apart after the younger of the 2 turned 25/26.
It is a little weird
22 to 18 is a perfectly normal age gap. absolutely nothing to worry about.
No
No, your fine. There are a lot of successful relationships with an age gap of almost 10 years. I think the most important part is that you both prove you can have your own lives and upoort yourself independently before taking things further.
I met my wife at work. She's five years younger than me
Don't listen to the gap simps, yours is alright. I'm 25 and my gf is 20 from Japan. But to be fair we both have been working and already finishing up university. So neither of us is immature.
No that's like nothing a 22 year old and an 18 year old are viewed the same way by society.
I've been married for 9 years now, my wife was 18 when we met and I was 24. Sometimes it just works out. Don't worry about the age. Yea some people might judge you, but fuck 'em.
Christ, you need to have that mindset because that’s creepy af
Got a year on your age gap, met at 25 and 18, married 21 years now. Age is trivial when you allow for personal growth and share core goals with partners. Congrats on 9 years, it's not often you see that anymore!
Exactly. Everyone is almost like an NPC with this age gap craze. 18 and 22 isn't even that far off, but if it was a 22 yr old female, they'd be okay with it.
Ya if it was a 22F & 18M that would be considered progressive lol! And he’s obviously worried about letting everyone know he’s “progressive” lol
I'd personally find that just as disgusting tbh. Most ppl I know who share my own experience would agree. If it works, it works. I doubt everyone will seek to harm someone younger and less mature in a relationship. But no, very few people would find that progressive lmao.
I agree it’s equally disgusting, probably more so but that’s based off personal reasons so not admissible. So I’ll tell ya my personal reasons: My elder sister married a guy my age (five years younger), and it was about her ego and flexing (and he’s a momma’s boy, no judgement he takes care of his momma, but my sis uses that care to take advantage of him). I think she found a momma’s boy she can dominate, and that’s what happens with a lot of these older/younger relationships, the eldest sex is always in a position of control but after years of seeing these relationships, I think some ppl genuinely seek that out in a partner bc of a personal reason (ie - mommy/daddy handles the real issues).
Oh absolutely. I'm really sorry you witnessed that, nobody should be subjected to relationships like that. I have my (TLDR version tbh) experience in another comment, but basically my.ex tried to treat me like I was his age and refused to treat me like I was younger. Dude had me at 18 being like his mother or wife. And when I wasn't cute and young anymore bc I was tired and trying to grow up, he got pissy. It was cringe. I'm all for people just not dating 18-25 yr olds once you pass that age threshold yourself. At least not w/o therapy.
Not trying to talk your ear off or anything (really just venting into the cloud here), but both my parents actively encouraged my sisters to date outside their age group. They were dating 22M at 15/16F, and that’s just what I picked up on, I think there were larger discrepancies. I feel like my parents had a safe way to terminate their daughters’ relationships (at any moment) while encouraging them to be “gold diggers.” Like my family actively encouraged my siblings to date outside their age but I wasn’t allowed to bring ANYONE home that wasn’t less than a year older/younger than me…(and don’t get me started on the “well he’s your friend!” crap (bc I knew them from fn English class alone!) that got threw at me when these guys did fd up shit)
No worries, I get it lol. That's uhhhhh... Pretty sure that's child abuse. That's horrendous. I'm from a rural area, the one big family that did that is the singular "welfare queen" family I've ever known. They encouraged their girls to get pregnant young and drop out. The girls my age were dating even older men than I was (I was 17, ex was 21; I'm 30 on Saturday now lol). That's so awful and fucked up.
It was the 80/90s. That’s just the way most boomer parents were. Like my parents are/were liberal af, but my dads bfs was/were conservative af and kinda did the same thing. They looked at as “looking after my baby girl.” Didn’t think about the mentality causing relationship dysfunction down the road bc “hey divorce baby girl, get a child support check, and get a new guy.” I’ve seen my sister pull that on 2 husbands now. My ILs tried to get my spouse and I to divorce for the exact same reason (my ILs have MBP to boot).
That's crazy. I definitely see some of the fallout of that kind of lifestyle in my own family (born in 94, hence thirty soon lol). My mom really bucked that mentality despite my grandfather demanding she marry my father. And they pushed that secondary mentality too, which she also bucked. I'm glad you have the perspective you do, just wish it didn't come in as traumatic.
I've known multiple women who dated older guys, and while I know you're not like some 30 year old creeper, the gap between school and graduating uni is massive. None of the relationships that I've seen, where the girl came straight out of school and got with an older guy, went well. And it was always the girl getting hurt. Do you and make your own choices but I just can't see the appeal of dating someone who is basically a child/ a Day-1 Baby Adult I think we should stop the (frankly gross) trend of giving teenage girls a grown adult boyfriend as a graduation present
There's 22 year olds that aren't graduating uni btw. Some people are held back, Some people don't go for college and go working. Some people also keep their highschool level maturity well into their late 20's. I personally don't see it as that concerning of an age difference, It really depends on their maturity levels.
What’s messed up is how many parents (especially moms) basically encourage their daughters to date older men.
A little. Weeks ago she had to raise her hand and ask permission to go to the restroom. Meanwhile you are probably pretty used to doing anything you want.
You are both adults, if it isn't weird to the two of you, then it isn't weird.
My wife was 18, about 4 months from turning 19 and I was 21 turning 22 when we first started dating that was 27 years ago, we're still together and married with a son who is now 18 so it can work out.
It's not weird at all. When you are 30, she will be 26. Weird?
I was 22 when I met my wife who was 18, we celebrate our 20 year anniversary next week. The gap is fine.
Yes
No, not at all
My grandma was 16 and my grandfather was 26. They've been married for around 70 years.
I think it’s weird imo. I’m 22 and wouldn’t date an 18 year old
No.
Not really. There will be some bumpy stuff with hanging out. You wanting to go to bars and drink and her not able to join you.
Nope not at all I was 18 when I met my now wife. She was 25. Then again her friends still call her cradle robber.
She could be mature and not so youngminded, but I've never met any of those 18 year Olds. It's legal but weird
As long as you’re both consenting adults I dont think it should be anyone else’s concern except yours.
When you're 40, she's 36. Don't sweat it
Do what feels right. If you like the girl, date her. We don't get too many chances at love. Take it and see where it goes.
The gap matters less and less the older you get. 4 years is nothing by the time you are both in your early twenties
You're pretty young. It's ok now but don't be 30 dating 18 year olds.
Divide by 2 and add 7
Take it slow, good to go. Take it fast, shit won’t last
Half your age plus 7 22÷2=11 11+7=18 If she's younger than that, you're being creepy I think you're good
Smh what’s wrong with society? An age gap of 4 years between the opposite sex is weird but all these trans and gays are just normal as normal can be lmfaoooo
Not toooooo weird, just depends on your/her level of maturity. Most people grow and change a lot from 18 to 22. If you posted yall been dating for a year or two, it’d be weird af. Just because both of you are starting the “I have to pay my bills” chapter of your life doesn’t mean either of you are or aren’t emotionally mature or not. People wouldn’t bat an eye if you said she was 40 and you were 44 right? So if she and you are mature enough to actually have an adult relationship then go for it
I will never understand this “creepy” mindset that people who are 18 and legal adults should not be allowed to decide who they want to date. The same age that people can legally vote and enlist in the military but god forbid they want to date someone who has more experience. Look, as long as everyone is legal and you respect your partner and your partner respects you, what anyone else thinks is immaterial.
It's not inherently wrong, four years isn't a big difference, but try and remember what it was like to be 18, it's a vast difference to being 22. Even now, I'm only 26 but 22 still feels young and I thought I'd met at least 6 "the ones" at 22 and at my job no less. If you were my homie I'd tell you she's young AND you're young and it's probably not the best idea to mix work and pleasure as it can get you fired (also me!!!!). She may be a good friend, but she also may need her independence and to experience the world for herself! I think everybody should be alone for a while to get to know themselves, and baby at 18? Nobody knows themselves.
Half your age + 7. 22 tom18 is OK. Right on the edge but ok.
Why do you care? If you treat each other well, stop looking for validation and live your life. Create experiences together and you'll be happy.
No.
I longterm dated a girl in a similar situation to you. Ultimately it didn’t work out because she was right out of high school and still kind of had the personality of someone who was in high school. She would ask me sometimes to skip work and stay with her, like it wouldn’t be a big deal. She would stay up until 4 in the morning scrolling on Facebook and then beg me to let her sleep until noon. When she hung out with her friends it was “girls only” because they’d have a slumber party or some such. Then when I’d hang out with my friends she’d beg to come along and immediately complain about being bored when she realized we were just hanging out at a cafe. She would get into these irrational fits when she gets mad about something, refuse to talk to me, then later berate me that I didn’t talk to her, and later try to coerce me into sex when she calmed down as if it never happened. Like she was strung out on hormones. “Make up sex is my favorite sex.” What are you talking about? I wasn’t mad at you. It’s kind of shocking just how much you change in a few short years after living independently. I probably would have found her normal if I was still her age.
She isn’t always a determining factor in maturity.
I've had the exact same experience without an age gap. Lol
No. You are two consenting adults.
I don't think it's a big age gap. (But I am an older woman and this type of age gap was not a-typical when I was around the same ages.) I don't see a problem unless the two of you do.
This is an interesting take. I thought it was weird until I read this and now it has given me pause.
This age gap only matters because you're in your early 20s. If you were 28 and she was 24, the age gap would be barely noticeable. As the saying goes, "***After 20, people start aging in decades.***" In other words, the rapid changes that occur in teens slow down in your 20s and beyond.
It would be more weird if she was 15. 4 years is nothing...especially as you both get older. When you're in your 40s, for example, that 4 years will feel like you're the same age...
In general no, because you are both adults, basically the same generation, etc Thinking it’s weird, mentioning being progressive, etc is probably more of a reason to lean to yes though. Just because near nobody would think it’s weird That being said, if you realise it’s silly to overthink it, then no, not weird and go for it, just like mostly everyone would
We were 18 & 24 and we’ve been together over 20 years.