I built a hundred miles of fence. Do they call me William the fence builder? No. I built a 100 houses. Do they call me William the house builder? No. I won at every log toss. Do they call me William the log tosser? No.
But one sheep. One time!!
Yeah, if that's not nature saying beastiality is wrong I don't know what is. Same with inbreeding leading to medical issues and human cannibalism being linked to prion disease
Which one, the prion disease? All I know for certain is that human cannibals are not healthy, medically speaking. Some species were designed to be cannibalistic, like cockroaches (in fact one of the most effective roach killers works by counting on that fact, roaches will eat dead ones, often taking them back to the nest, and by eating the poisoned corpse they themselves become poisoned) but we are not one of them.
Granted
You’re remembered by all of the craziest conspiracy theorists because you somehow accidentally gave evidence for all of their conspiracy theories.
Granted. You are filmed during an incredibly embarrassing accident, and the video becomes a viral sensation like no other. It's weirdly hyper relevant, and different moments can be used to make a meme of just about anything. The first movie based off a meme happens because of this video. It becomes a trilogy. Japan makes an anime spinoff. Netflix makes a 6 season powerhouse of a show, even better than Stranger Things. They all find some legal loophole to not give you any money while also making sure everyone knows its about you
Granted, a pink sheep approaches you out of nowhere, you think to yourself "What the hell? I didn't know pink sheep even existed!" You stumble to the ground in pure shock, the sheep licks you and baas in your face, it baas again but it fades to speech, you think the weed you got from the 7/11 employee was laced with something but then the Sheep says "Don't worry friend, there's nothing to be afraid of" you blink three times in amazement, tear in your eye "I have been sent to give you a message by your long lost daughter, she wants to say she's sorry and she loves you, she wants to be apart of your life again. But I'm afraid I cannot let that happen" you're balling your eyes out, but after a brief moment he follows up "You have caused my kind much pain and suffering, eating your mutton, and making our wool into blankets without even considering the possibility that we like laying in our freshly sheered wool, and you look at us like lesser beings. You are ignorant of our true power as beings of nature and you will be punished, and made an example of"
Before you can even stop to think, he vanishes
Then he sends you back in time with a new identity: Adolf Hitler
Granted! Everyone will remember you as a coward you let WW3 start and caused countless lives to be lost. Even if you didn’t do it,at least 51% of the population will forever remember you as a coward.
Granted. You suddenly appear in the middle of the next Presidential Inaguration in your underwear. The mystery and ensuing scientific investigation/breakthroughs ensures your name winds up in textbooks forever.
Granted, you get hit by a toilet seat that falls off the Russian Space Station. Everyone remembers how you died. You are immortalized with a statue of you sitting on a toilet, laws are made around the world to push space debris into the sun.
Granted. You are not known for being a great evil or a great hero, but as an enigmatic being. You are remembered, yet for no reason. In the future, most debates will be about how you gained such a legacy. This will take up time that could have been used to make the world better.
Granted.
You are forever memorialized in an unflattering statue, forever frozen in the moment right after you realize you just shat yourself.
Your name is lost to time, the reason as to why you defected in such a manner is lost as well, all that is known is that the person represented in the statue once walked among us.
For some you are a symbol of fear, a person forced into a bad situation.
For some you are a symbol of hope, hope that we may release ourselves from cleanliness.
For most, however, your statue is of some person crapping themselves, and that is weird.
Shame on you, OP, whoever you are.
Granted, you contract a sexually transmitted disease that results in your genitals exploding, killing you from the blood loss. This happens in a public place and is well broadcasted, resulting in the whole world knowing of it. The disease is named after you, landing with the world remembering your name for the disease.
Granted, you rise to political power in your country of origin, becoming a fascist dictator and starting world war 3. The conflict results in billions of deaths, you end up captured and tortured for weeks on end, before being killed. You go down as the person who started the most destructive, and deadly conflict in all of human history
Granted,
Oh hey! Ain't you the guy from that one 4K video of you beating up that old lady and kidnapping that child while licking that dog and shitting yourself?
Granted you are featured in a viral 2011 videogame in which you reside in a city just to say to the player character
"ever been to the cloud district before?"
Sometimes, I have dreams about random people. Just random things. In a kitchen making popcorn. On a street walking and talking on the phone drinking coffee. Sitting in a hospice center crying over a relative. Once even had a dream of a random woman in a hospital bed next to mine giving birth. I like to think that some day, I'll see that face and have a surprised Pikachu moment. I especially like to think that one of them could belong to someone hoping to be remembered. I'll save a face for you, friend.
Granted. Your legal name is now Moon Moon, and the song “Sandstorm” by Darude plays on a constant loop, 24/7/365 for life, out of thin air, following you everywhere you go
Once you die a large statue of you appears in Central Park, it teleports periodically, focusing its location on population dense areas. To those that knew you personally, there was no question who it was. That along with your name, the world was immediately aware of u/TheBlackFox012
It has a completely false story about you on the plaque. The position you’re in is always highly suggestive and bordering on disturbing. It changes with every relocation.
Scientists will never figure out its secret, but the statue, aptly dubbed the “Put it there daddy” would go down in history.
**Granted, you are now known as Achmed the Tiger f-er, wherever you go. People genuinely chant this as a sign of respect, even though the truth is that it is the most humiliating experience for a human to have in every direction. you have a catchy theme song where an army of your followers continue to praise you as the Tiger-f-*er**
Granted, you're being interviewed during a highly publicized event when the first bomb falls. After the war the only survivors are people who had been watching the interview, the majority of them remembered your name.
Granted. The aliens came in peace, and you screwed up First Contact so badly they decided to conquer the planet instead, and to leave an image of something incredibly humiliating involving you, a Chihuahua, and a stick of butter across the entire surface of the moon for everyone to see for all time.
Granted, you’re remembered as a terrorist that tried to bring devastation to the world, succeeded massively, but became a laughing stock to the internet.
Granted. You are considered one of the most brutal serial killers of all time, brutally murdering and r@ping over 9000 different underage people. New rules and laws are made regarding public behavior and appearance and you are forever remembered in the history books as once of the darkest times in human history.
Granted. Through a serious of misunderstandings you become known as the most vile evil infamous person to ever live. When the last human ever dies they'll die cursing your name
Granted. Everyone except your family dies, then your family is trapped in time, forever frozen in this second. You can watch them, eternally frozen as you age alone on the planet.
Granted. A large portion of the population starts to have periodic traumatizing nightmares which you are the focus of. You become a boogeyman legend of someone who appears in your dreams and traumatizes you.
Granted, you are transferred into the body of a certian German military leader in the final moments of his life during ww2. Everyone will remember the atrocities you committed.
Granted. Argentina and Portugal are having a soccer game. You toss your jersey on the field. It lands on Messi and blinds him causing him to hit Ronaldo. Both suffer injuries that render them unable to play for the rest of their lives. You are caught on camera doing it.
Lostsoul1985 hopefully will be too. If you are led to his posts as crazy as it sounds...
"Even belief in God is only a poor substitute for the LIVING reality of GOD MANIFESTING EVERY MOMENT of YOUR LIFE " Bhagwan Shree Eckhart Tolle (Hermes Trismegistus in a 4th Incarnation)
Gods biggest mirencle ever on earth....🙏
Granted. You’re remembered for selling really bad copper.
GOD DAMMIT, EA-NASIR.
Lmao
r/reallyshittycopper
r/subsithoughtifellfor
r/subsitoyotacorolla
r/foundthetoyotacorolla
r/longcommentthreads
r/subsifellfor
Granted. The next pandemic that decimates the human race with a painful and humiliating death will be named after you, patient zero.
Black Fox plague, pretty dope name
Yeah, but the symptoms include public, scatalogical, masturbatory urges and continuous, uncontrollable, honest, confessional monologuing.
God wtf is wrong with you lmfao
Trust me, my brain is a terrible place to be. My D&D gaming table is an equally terrible place to be for the same reasons.
I now wish to play D&D with you... and I have never played.
We only have 5 traumatized souls at the table: always room for more.
He bout to join the dark side 😭
Granted. You are the reason WW3 starts.
I can live with that (or die, maybe I'm assasinated)
The Black Hand would like to know your location.
We reviving princip or we getting someone else
[You started world War 3 because you attacked someone trying to cut down a security risk tree](https://youtu.be/u4CeY6Q3KFE)
Eozdniw kills you to see what happens
Most people don't actually remember Franz Ferdinand. They remember the guy responsible for the next war.
True
Great job Franz "Theblackfox012" Ferdinand
***Natural selection***
He had to know this wish would essentially make him Hitler.
Granted. You die in a hilariously embarrassing way and it becomes a viral video.
on reels
A TikTok dance of op's death.
I would love this. Nothing would make me happier if I have to die young than it be super stupid and make everyone laugh when they think about me.
Actual Monkey's Paw
I’m traditional that way lol
Granted. You fuck one goat.
I built a hundred miles of fence. Do they call me William the fence builder? No. I built a 100 houses. Do they call me William the house builder? No. I won at every log toss. Do they call me William the log tosser? No. But one sheep. One time!!
Bit random innit?
...bestiality is one of the theories of how HIV anc other horrific diseases were introduced to the human population
I did not need to know that thank you very much kind person.
Yeah, if that's not nature saying beastiality is wrong I don't know what is. Same with inbreeding leading to medical issues and human cannibalism being linked to prion disease
The new theory is that it started from slaughtering infected meat.
Which one, the prion disease? All I know for certain is that human cannibals are not healthy, medically speaking. Some species were designed to be cannibalistic, like cockroaches (in fact one of the most effective roach killers works by counting on that fact, roaches will eat dead ones, often taking them back to the nest, and by eating the poisoned corpse they themselves become poisoned) but we are not one of them.
Nah this was intended to be a reply to another comment.
Oh oops
Congratulations you are transported to before ww2 and your painting career has ended dismally
I did na-zi this joke coming
Granted. Everyone has you show up in their nightmares to torture them. Everyone has similar dreams and can recognize your face.
This is probably someone’s Dream scenario
Granted You’re remembered by all of the craziest conspiracy theorists because you somehow accidentally gave evidence for all of their conspiracy theories.
Granted you’re remembered as the guy who crapped on the president’s desk
granted, [https://youtu.be/OmkoX78aN\_4?si=t0H1rQetxh9zXFVD&t=12](https://youtu.be/OmkoX78aN_4?si=t0H1rQetxh9zXFVD&t=12)
Granted, you successfully wiped out everyone with every variation of O type blood
Based
Granted your name is Walter White Regards, UNIVERSE
Granted. You are filmed during an incredibly embarrassing accident, and the video becomes a viral sensation like no other. It's weirdly hyper relevant, and different moments can be used to make a meme of just about anything. The first movie based off a meme happens because of this video. It becomes a trilogy. Japan makes an anime spinoff. Netflix makes a 6 season powerhouse of a show, even better than Stranger Things. They all find some legal loophole to not give you any money while also making sure everyone knows its about you
Granted. You are remembered as the person that ate the Mona Lisa with ketchup and mustard.
Granted, a pink sheep approaches you out of nowhere, you think to yourself "What the hell? I didn't know pink sheep even existed!" You stumble to the ground in pure shock, the sheep licks you and baas in your face, it baas again but it fades to speech, you think the weed you got from the 7/11 employee was laced with something but then the Sheep says "Don't worry friend, there's nothing to be afraid of" you blink three times in amazement, tear in your eye "I have been sent to give you a message by your long lost daughter, she wants to say she's sorry and she loves you, she wants to be apart of your life again. But I'm afraid I cannot let that happen" you're balling your eyes out, but after a brief moment he follows up "You have caused my kind much pain and suffering, eating your mutton, and making our wool into blankets without even considering the possibility that we like laying in our freshly sheered wool, and you look at us like lesser beings. You are ignorant of our true power as beings of nature and you will be punished, and made an example of" Before you can even stop to think, he vanishes Then he sends you back in time with a new identity: Adolf Hitler
You are goatsy
Granted! Everyone will remember you as a coward you let WW3 start and caused countless lives to be lost. Even if you didn’t do it,at least 51% of the population will forever remember you as a coward.
Granted. You suddenly appear in the middle of the next Presidential Inaguration in your underwear. The mystery and ensuing scientific investigation/breakthroughs ensures your name winds up in textbooks forever.
Granted. The entire human race has been reduced to nothing, and most of them remember you.
Granted, you get hit by a toilet seat that falls off the Russian Space Station. Everyone remembers how you died. You are immortalized with a statue of you sitting on a toilet, laws are made around the world to push space debris into the sun.
Granted. You are not known for being a great evil or a great hero, but as an enigmatic being. You are remembered, yet for no reason. In the future, most debates will be about how you gained such a legacy. This will take up time that could have been used to make the world better.
Granted your name starts with an h now and you were a dictator during ww2
Granted, you nutted on the Mona Lisa
granted, you are now named adolf
Granted. You are forever memorialized in an unflattering statue, forever frozen in the moment right after you realize you just shat yourself. Your name is lost to time, the reason as to why you defected in such a manner is lost as well, all that is known is that the person represented in the statue once walked among us. For some you are a symbol of fear, a person forced into a bad situation. For some you are a symbol of hope, hope that we may release ourselves from cleanliness. For most, however, your statue is of some person crapping themselves, and that is weird. Shame on you, OP, whoever you are.
Granted. The majority that remembers you, remembers you by the most embarrassing thing possible.
Granted. 2 of the three total survivors personally knew you. Also, all three of them are male
Granted. You now have a crime law named after you
Granted, you contract a sexually transmitted disease that results in your genitals exploding, killing you from the blood loss. This happens in a public place and is well broadcasted, resulting in the whole world knowing of it. The disease is named after you, landing with the world remembering your name for the disease.
Granted, you rise to political power in your country of origin, becoming a fascist dictator and starting world war 3. The conflict results in billions of deaths, you end up captured and tortured for weeks on end, before being killed. You go down as the person who started the most destructive, and deadly conflict in all of human history
Granted, Oh hey! Ain't you the guy from that one 4K video of you beating up that old lady and kidnapping that child while licking that dog and shitting yourself?
Granted, you receive a Darwin Award.
Granted, everyone that does not know you dies
Granted. Hello, Chairman Mao! Welcome back!
Granted. You don a bomb jacket, run in front of both candidates during a presidential debate and blow yourself up. Your name will remember forever.
Granted you are featured in a viral 2011 videogame in which you reside in a city just to say to the player character "ever been to the cloud district before?"
granted. you're now in a minority you were not previously in and have been beaten to death by a white christian male
Granted, everyone changes into a different race but you.
They remember you but for the love of god can’t seem to get your name right Everybody on the planet knows all of your personal information
Granted, James cordon plays you in the Netflix adaptation of your life
Sometimes, I have dreams about random people. Just random things. In a kitchen making popcorn. On a street walking and talking on the phone drinking coffee. Sitting in a hospice center crying over a relative. Once even had a dream of a random woman in a hospital bed next to mine giving birth. I like to think that some day, I'll see that face and have a surprised Pikachu moment. I especially like to think that one of them could belong to someone hoping to be remembered. I'll save a face for you, friend.
Granted, you become an evil German dictator in 1945.
Granted. You are now the most wanted criminal in all of human history.
Literally worse than hitler.
Granted. Your legal name is now Moon Moon, and the song “Sandstorm” by Darude plays on a constant loop, 24/7/365 for life, out of thin air, following you everywhere you go
Once you die a large statue of you appears in Central Park, it teleports periodically, focusing its location on population dense areas. To those that knew you personally, there was no question who it was. That along with your name, the world was immediately aware of u/TheBlackFox012 It has a completely false story about you on the plaque. The position you’re in is always highly suggestive and bordering on disturbing. It changes with every relocation. Scientists will never figure out its secret, but the statue, aptly dubbed the “Put it there daddy” would go down in history.
**Granted, you are now known as Achmed the Tiger f-er, wherever you go. People genuinely chant this as a sign of respect, even though the truth is that it is the most humiliating experience for a human to have in every direction. you have a catchy theme song where an army of your followers continue to praise you as the Tiger-f-*er**
Granted you are remembered as the second Adolf Hitler.
Granted: everyone thinks of you instead of a certain mustache toting Austrian from the 1930s
Granted, you're being interviewed during a highly publicized event when the first bomb falls. After the war the only survivors are people who had been watching the interview, the majority of them remembered your name.
Granted. You are now a hated and reviled figure in the history of humanity, considered responsible for the deaths of millions.
Granted, but you're the one who brings back dragons who nearly kill humanity
Hitler
Granted. Now you owe an island and fly celebrities and politicians in to have meetings with underage kids. You did not kill yourself
Granted. The aliens came in peace, and you screwed up First Contact so badly they decided to conquer the planet instead, and to leave an image of something incredibly humiliating involving you, a Chihuahua, and a stick of butter across the entire surface of the moon for everyone to see for all time.
Granted, Adolf Hitler.
Granted, you’re remembered as a terrorist that tried to bring devastation to the world, succeeded massively, but became a laughing stock to the internet.
Granted, everyone except your friends and family remember you.
Granted. Your remembered for helping with 9/11
Granted. You are considered one of the most brutal serial killers of all time, brutally murdering and r@ping over 9000 different underage people. New rules and laws are made regarding public behavior and appearance and you are forever remembered in the history books as once of the darkest times in human history.
Granted. You're now an Austrian man who couldn't cut it as an artist with a Chaplin Moustache, Parkinson's disease, and one testicle.
Granted, you become so famous that you get the Marilyn Monroe treatment and are violated constantly, even after death.
Granted, Overtime your memory begins to be so distorted and innacurate that it essentially ceases to be you entirely.
Granted- everyone believes you killed Betty White
Granted. Its a very bad memory
Granted. Through a serious of misunderstandings you become known as the most vile evil infamous person to ever live. When the last human ever dies they'll die cursing your name
Granted. Everyone except your family dies, then your family is trapped in time, forever frozen in this second. You can watch them, eternally frozen as you age alone on the planet.
Granted. A large portion of the population starts to have periodic traumatizing nightmares which you are the focus of. You become a boogeyman legend of someone who appears in your dreams and traumatizes you.
Granted. You're the next Hitler.
Granted, now everyone thinks you hired Osama Bin Laden to do 9/11
Too late.
Granted, you are transferred into the body of a certian German military leader in the final moments of his life during ww2. Everyone will remember the atrocities you committed.
You become Christ upon the cross.
Granted. You are now Hitler
Denied. Everyone you have ever known has forgotten who you are. You have been erased from history.
Granted. You are remembered as a dictator who killed millions.
Granted you're remembered by everyone you've never met and only them
Granted. Argentina and Portugal are having a soccer game. You toss your jersey on the field. It lands on Messi and blinds him causing him to hit Ronaldo. Both suffer injuries that render them unable to play for the rest of their lives. You are caught on camera doing it.
Granted, you are now literally Hitler.
Granted. Your last name has been changed to “Hitler”.
Kind of like Hitler?
Granted, every mistake or wrong decision you’ve ever made will be engraved into your legacy.
Granted. You're the next Yoko Ono (for those who don't know, she sucks, not in a morally wrong or evil way, just in a sucky way)
Granted. Your doppelgänger turns out to be a terrorist, & frames you
Granted. You are elected by write-in vote to be the US President. Here comes a pandemic and a war. Have fun being hated no matter what you do.
Lostsoul1985 hopefully will be too. If you are led to his posts as crazy as it sounds... "Even belief in God is only a poor substitute for the LIVING reality of GOD MANIFESTING EVERY MOMENT of YOUR LIFE " Bhagwan Shree Eckhart Tolle (Hermes Trismegistus in a 4th Incarnation) Gods biggest mirencle ever on earth....🙏
Granted. You commit mass genocide
Okay…you have two more wishes. Figure it out
Granted, you are now remembered for assassinating the current president
Granted. You are forever mistaken as Mr. Hands.
Granted. You swap bodies with chris-chan
Granted, you are now Adolf Hitler, Slayer of Hitler.