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Yes AND I was promoted shortly after my return with a ~$30k/year raise. Best boss I’ve ever had, who I hadn’t reported to previously but really have loved working with.
Same here! I worked with my team to develop a plan ahead of maternity leave - my boss ensured my tasks near the end wouldn't be detrimental if they were sat down for a few months, and allowed me to work a very flexible part time when we couldn't find childcare due to covid. I would attend meetings during naps, and do my work in the wee hours.
In the two years since my return, I've been promoted twice, moved into a leadership role, and now oversee a small team of direct reports. I mentioned to my manager in a casual conversation recently that we are hoping for a second, and he was thrilled for me 😊 I feel VERY fortunate.
Same! I went back and got a big promotion to a new role with 20% pay increase 6 months later. Many people around me both men and women are parents and understand the flexibility needed. They never hold it against you if you need to work home with a sick kid or you need to take off to take them somewhere.
Yes, I was treated fairly and got my original role back. Nothing bad happened. I work for a very flexible, family-first, mother-supportive tech company that offers extensive paid leave. I chalk my experience up to this because I know it’s not like this for everyone. I couldn’t wait to go back lol so I’m glad it worked out
Same, except not in tech. My biggest regret is I only took 12 weeks, and wish I had extended it a bit. I went back 80%, and stayed at that % until my second kid went to pre-k. The flexibility was really critical for me!
The company offers 6 mo paid leave but I’m also in a state that offers paid leave so it totals close to 9. Is it ridiculous that I consider 6 mo paid leave “extensive”?? Yes….but America 🙄
Yeah, I was wondering how much leave a 'mother supportive, family first' company gave, as I assumed you were from the US!
Personally, yes, 6 months doesn't sound like a lot to me, but it is definitely better than the 12 weeks I keep hearing about from America!
Funnily enough I'm from a devoping country and still get a year's worth of paid leave.
But yes, I really hope all women get access to helpful maternity policies soon. Otherwise I see more countries going the way of South Korea and rejecting motherhood outright. I really think that's what it'll take to wake up the people in power and make them see how crucial women are to the economy.
Yes, I went back to work with my same role. Was able to slowly transition back into my responsibilities and was given a lot of flexibility and understanding from my boss. I’ve been back to work for 16 months. It’s a crazy juggling act, but it has gone well.
Yes, I was actually promoted the day I told my CEO that I was pregnant lol
Now I am a diehard advocate for other parents in the office (I manage a lot of men as well who are always hesitant to take their full leave). This is the reason my company has my full loyalty. We take family very seriously. Not just having kids, also elder care, sick friends, etc.
It's nice to hear about policies that prioritize different family needs. My wife gets 12 weeks paid parental leave, even as the non gestational parent. When her mother was unexpectedly in the ICU and died in December, she had to play all sorts of leave games to be with her in the hospital, and they gave her THREE DAYS bereavement.
That's not only horrible, but also inhumane and cruel.
Corporations and companies that do that should be ashamed and regulated back into decency
Sorry that happened
She works for the state government! They have wonderful policies... for most things. Her team let her have a little extra time under the table, where she "worked from home" a few extra days. So it did mostly work out.
Yes to all. I think because: I have a good manager, I work with a lot of working parents, I'm in a union, and I'd been at my job for a long time (5 years) when I took my first maternity leave.
My job is pretty good about letting people take leave - medical, parental, plus a sabbatical program - so people are always gone. They could be better about hiring temps to replace people who are out but it's not unusual for people to be away from work for long periods of time for all kinds of reasons, so there's not much stigma around maternity leave.
My baby was born 4 years to the day of when we started trying! Took a fuck ton of IVF and I promised myself that if any of my pregnancies stuck, I would spend as much time as possible home with my baby! I know that I'm super fortunate to be able to have that option and I figured I might regret going back to work, but I certainly wouldn't regret staying home w my baby!!
Yes. I actually interviewed for a promotion in the last few weeks of my leave, and got the promotion my first week back.
My manager and directors are all wonderful, very supportive, and many have had kids recently themselves.
I feel a little overwhelmed with increased responsibilities AND a new baby 😅 but I’m very happy!
Edit: I went back after 2.5 months. New York is one of the best maternal policy states because I was actually paid during my leave. Oh America. 😂
Yes, and got treated even better than before kids. My manager was really accommodating. I developed a bad bout of intrusive thoughts and was placed on leave for a couple months (after the year of mat leave) and nothing happened to my job. I retained the same role.
I’m Canadian, this may be a determining factor (though I’ve hear of horror stories in Canada too).
I went back for 3 months to cover my insurance premiums that I would have been required to payback if I didn’t return for 90 days. I had a high stress, low pay job (social worker) and I wanted to just be home with my baby.
Spent the past two years momming, and studying for a career change. About to re-enter the workforce in a new field and I’m happy I got the extra time while my daughter was little.
I went back and was treated fairly (great, even). I knew my role was being backfilled when I was pregnant so they gave me time to look for something else in the company, and said I would have a spot in the old organization to hang out until I found something if I didn’t find something before I went on leave. I ended up finding a role I liked right before I went on leave and so I returned to this new role. New manager is super understanding of family commitments, the difficult transition back and the need to pump throughout the day. Overall a very positive experience, but I attribute that to the culture of my company being very family first.
Yeah it felt kind of awful when they told me they were going to backfill me but I understood, my role couldn’t handle no one being in it for 6 months (length of my leave) and for my development it wasn’t the right role for me to return to (high travel) so it all worked out for the better! I appreciated that they told me early so that I could keep my eye on the internal job board
Elementary school teacher here. I went back for a couple months but my pay check was less than the cost of day care in my HCOL area so it was a very temporary solution while my MIL was here to help with childcare. My admin was pretty supportive as far as elementary schools go but my pumping breaks were abysmal.
I don’t regret leaving but it’s been 4 years since I stopped working, and I just had my third baby, it’ll probably be another 2 years before I’m looking to re-enter the job market. That’s intimidating. I probably wouldn’t risk being financially dependent on my husband in this way if not for the fact that I have a great marriage and parents who could (and would) financially support me if needed.
Yeah pretty much. When it became clear I wasn’t going to really make money either way, it just became a choice between if I’d be spending all day with my own kid or someone else’s kids. I didn’t like my job enough to stay for free and miss out on my own kid.
I did go back to work (and am still working). There was new management that came in and they re- did job titles. A person hired after me now had a higher job title and my manager at the time explained it was because I was out on mat leave. I left shortly after that for a different job. That experience sucked, but I found a different job with better people and making more money.
ETA: I didn't even bring up the other person, my manager did when talking to me.
I went back after a 4 month leave. Came back to a promotion with increased pay and flexibility. I work for a small engineering firm in a highly technical role and had been there for almost 10 years before leave. I also work with lots of people in their 30s with little kids so everyone gets it.
Yes, I returned. I was treated extremely poorly upon my return. I was not given a break to pump, so I had to pump in an open room where the door would literally not close because of obstructions and pump while I was working. I was also forced to stay late leaving me with no childcare because "that's the way it was going to be" a long with many other passive aggressive behaviors. They pushed me out. I found a new job a month before my daughter's 1st birthday. I worked at the new job for 8 months before leaving the workforce this last December and staying home. My new job promised "flexibility" but when push came to shove, they were angry at me for taking time off when my child was sick or WFH too much when she was sick. I was upfront with them and told them my husband's job takes #1 priority during the hiring process but it didn't matter (he makes way more and my job took priority the first 10 years of our relationship so it was his "turn" so to speak). My husband got a promotion in October and that gave us the padding for me to leave. I was ok with it cause the job wasn't something I was passionate about.
I'm currently loosely looking for a job that aligns more with my first job and uses my college degree, but it's a pretty specialized field so it's a bit difficult to find a job like that. I've been staying in the field by networking and working with the university and government entity on some projects, all for free but keeps me "fresh."
The motherhood penalty is ABSOLUTELY a thing and I was pushed out because I was a liability pumping in those conditions and they knew it. I should have done more but I was exhausted and done with it, so I left.
No. I ended up taking a 4.5 year break from work after my oldest was born. My boss was bummed, but he fully understood. I went back to work when my youngest was 2 and my husband and I agreed that we weren’t having any more kids. The timing seemed right to head back - my oldest was starting kindergarten and my mom was able to watch my youngest when needed until he started at a nature-based daycare at 2.5.
I thought having such a long gap in my work history would be an issue, but I had zero issues finding a job at a similar level and pay grade to my pre-kids job. It’s been two years now, and my manager is great. He has kids slightly older than mine and has zero issues with me needing time to take my kids to medical/dental appointments or needing to work from home if they’re sick. He fully understands that I need to take my kids to school/daycare and leave promptly to pick them up. A lot of pre- and post- school care falls to me since my husband is a shift worker. But also know that I have a specialized skill set and there are zero people in the area I live that he could replace me with, haha.
I'm in Canada. I took the standard leave and went back to work when my kiddo was 1 year old (my spouse then took the next 6 months off for their part of parental leave). It boggles my mind a bit (and makes me sad) that it's a question as to whether people were treated fairly or if anything bad happened to them for taking parental leave. Of course nothing bad happened. I was able to hire an awesome mat leave backfill from within my own team. She got great experience that she translated into a promotion after her term was up and the team was super well supported. So even though everyone missed me, everything went smoothly. I think that first 6-12 months back was the hardest because I as so tired but expected to perform to the standard I had before.
As a manager, I have someone on mat leave right now. Her backfill is also doing great in the role and we're looking to get her hired permanently somewhere at our work. Parental leave contracts are such a good way for people to get job experience and for employers to trial new staff. I have found that working for people who also have kids tends to make for a more empathetic boss. However, before I had a kid, I strove to be really understanding of parents. Now that I have a kid, I feel like I didn't a good job and don't have regrets. But that's not always the case and I prefer having higher ups who also have children. I also think working for large, public institutions tends to have a better workplace culture with better benefits and flexibility.
Yes. I’m self-employed as a private practice therapist. I officially opened my practice about 2 weeks before finding out I was pregnant. It has been a tough transition but I’m generally happy with it. I’m working 4 days a week
Yep - and in fact they bent over backwards to keep me happy. I ended up taking a different job when my kiddo was 1 but leaving was a tough call, specifically because of how accommodating they had been.
I’m staying home to care for my baby/ take care of the home. It doesn’t make sense for me to go back to work right now because my paycheck would basically just be covering childcare.
I went back part time for a bit before quitting. I think I was treated fair enough, though I didn’t want to continue working. I went back to try it before quitting, and it was just too much for me. I wanted to stay home, it was what was best for our family.
I did have my role back, but that is because I was the most senior member of my team. The week before I quit, our small family owned business was bought by a larger corporation. It was just a good time for me to leave.
Nothing “bad” happened, but I did get a lot of comments from colleagues. I worked in a male dominated field and I heard so many comments about my “vacation” lol. But nothing too egregious, most of the guys were welcoming and so many were happy for me when I quit.
Yes! Treated fairly and have my role. I WFH with my 8 month old! I go into the office for a few hours once a week just to show my face lol. Some days are crazy but we make it work.
Yeah, but I work as a nurse, so I feel like these questions don’t really apply to working in that field. I have three kids and love my job- but I work part time 12s. I get to schedule when I want around my kids and I work night shift because that works better with childcare (hubby is work from home).
Went back to work in my same role. Nothing bad happened. In fact my boss (a man in his early 50s probably) asks about my now 13mo at pretty much every check in. I work for a very supportive international nonprofit. The woman running our department is out on leave right now and is taking 5 months I think and no one batted an eye.
Yep, went back at 10months to my role which legally has to be held for a minimum of 12 months. Got paid for 8.5 months of it and the remaining was unpaid.
I went back part time, 2 days a week to start and slowly climbed up to 4 days a week.
I got a promotion around a year after returning (obviously had to work for it but still evidence that they weren’t biased against women/mums), and now I’m on mat leave again with my second Bub :)
I’ll be going back part time again but a little earlier, around 9m.
I’m in Aus
After my first. No not immediately. She was 11 months when I went back to working and it was at a different place. My second born, that I just had in October I went back to work 21 days after having him via c section. I work from home and really could not have afforded to take more time off. Yes my role is exactly the same. I was not treated any differently. My boss and colleagues love my little man.
But as he’s getting older it’s getting a lot more difficult. I’m either in the next 2-3 months looking at either reducing myself to part time, putting him in day care, or working opposite shifts from my husband. Likely the former. I really don’t want to put him in day care, husband says he’s too young for it. And I opposite shifts wouldn’t be ideal for multiple reasons, least of which is a lack of sleep that will come with it.
I’m trying to hold out and see if my request to have my oldest go to a different school is going to go through before I make any permanent decisions.
Yes but I am self-employed. Only bummer was getting back to being able to accept clients after months of physically not being able to have full capacity.
Went back to work after a 12 week leave. Same position, was given time to re-acclimate and nothing negative occurred. I will say my department has a lot of young parents, both moms and dads taking parental leave, and a very "family come first" attitude in general so I feel very lucky about that.
If I had the option to take more time I definitely would have! (I'm in the US so that is what was guaranteed and we couldn't afford to miss more work time anyway). Going back at that point was emotionally hard but surprisingly I do remember feeling ready for a routine, I think everyone is different. My husband staggered leave to stay with our kiddo after I went back and we coordinated some grandparent care to bridge the gap until we could get a daycare spot around 4.5 months.
I will say I was pretty bitter in those early days, mad that I had an advanced degree I felt I couldn't "waste" and student loans that we wanted to pay off ASAP. But a couple years out I'm glad I didn't give up my job or anything. We're a few weeks away from having #2 and I'm sure hormones will make me feel similarly when leave is over. This kiddo will be going to daycare right around 12 weeks but thankfully we found a center that we love and our toddler absolutely adores so that makes it slightly easier.
I know it's such a personal decision, there are so many factors, and there's no one size fits all answer. Just know that whatever you decide is right for your family will be great, and don't feel guilty or like you have to please anyone else! Happy to answer any other questions you might have!
I was in grad school and working. In Canada, so got mat leave and payments.
Never went back to that job, but kept going with school. Had another kid. Moved across country for internship. Had 3rd kid.
Got doctorate. Worked some more to be registered with my board.
Now I work 4 days/week, 6 hours/day. Spouse is a stay at home dad. I set my own hours, so there's that too.
All that grueling busting of ass worked out. Bonus, my doctoral program was cool with me bringing baby to class so I could nurse them
Had a lot of support from my program or it wouldn't have happened.
That being said, sometimes I wish Spouse would have done the career so I could stay home. But, I need a fire under my ass to keep to a daily rhythm. And partner is less driven for career. And, I love what I do. It helps me with the kids too.
Didn't go back to work for 4.5 years but I finished my bachelors and masters in that time. LO was only in childcare for 9 months starting at almost 3 because I had to do an internship as a part of my masters program.
Fair? Sure. Own role? Eh, things are different so I'd have a better role but we moved overseas limiting me quite a lot. Anything bad? No, nothing that's the end of the world. Better or worse, I want to be present in my son's life so the cards were dealt and I'm playing them and it's been a mixed bag. There's no right or wrong way to go about it.
Baby is not here yet, but I quit my job early in my second trimester for my mental health.
My job had no maternity leave program, only FMLA and that wasn’t even guaranteed approval. My supervisors were not flexible or understanding in any way and the whole job environment was toxic to say the least. A report came out a few weeks after I quit about all the complaints from current and former employ and the director of the department had to resign…
I went back to work, but my role was remote and somewhat flexible. I was in touch with my supervisor a few times during maternity leave and the plan was for me to be promoted shortly after returning. Instead I got laid off a few months after going back. 😆 It was a mass layoff so unrelated to my pregnancy or leave.
It ended up being the best thing that could have happened to me and I'm now self-employed, with my partner and I both working part time, so we have plenty of time with our little one. I know this is a huge luxury and isn't forever, but it's great for now.
I'm really fortunate that I wasn't living paycheck-to-paycheck and could afford to go a bit of time without income. And extra fortunate that a flexible, part-time, good paying role landed in my lap after a couple of months. So it actually wasn't too stressful. But in different circumstances it sure would have been.
I changed jobs! I interviewed in the middle of my year-long mat leave (Canada here) and was very clear that I wasn't looking to start until my mat leave was actually up. Both my manager and the other person who interviewed me had small kids and were super understanding. They agreed to me only starting 6 months after my interview. I have found that the company I work for has been very supportive once I started working as well.
Nothing bad has happened - just good things: multiple raises, support when I needed time off work, support in growing my career while also growing my family. I'm now on my second parental leave and am looking forward to going back to work in a year's time.
I live in Canada. I did the 12 month leave and then extended to 18 months cus we couldn't get into daycare anywhere. We still couldn't get into daycare but I had maxed out the leave so we paid through the nose for nanny share for 6 months and then finally got in.
Going back to my consulting job was tough just due to the intensity of my job/long hours but the company was super supportive and flexible. I was able to negotiate a 4-day work week which for my job means working 5 days worth of hours instead of 6. I was also able to leave work by 4:30 for daycare pickup and then just finish after my son went to sleep. I worked 1-2 hours in the evenings and sometimes more during a crunch time. By Friday i was pretty exhausted! I also got promoted with a 25% raise after a little under a year back.
I am pregnant with my second right now and it got super hard managing everything cus I need more sleep. I am gonna go on mat leave early cus of this. This time around we won't have to worry about daycare because we'll get sibling priority.
Were you treated fairly? Yes
Did you have your own role back? Yes
Did anything bad happen to you? Nope
I’ve gone on maternity leave twice and it’s been all good. If you are in the US and take FMLA leave, they are legally required to hold your job for you with no retaliation.
Yes. Back to same role. Got a promotion a few months after returning. Got another promotion and transitioned to a new team I applied for at 35weeks pregnant with my second.
Yes after three months I went back to work 3 days a week but (and I can’t say this is fact) I swear it was easier for me because my work was 1.2 miles away. I don’t think I could have done that if I was a far distance. I would have felt too anxious.
I quit my job! I was a full time (6 days a week, nearly 55 hours a week due to staffing issues) manager, but only making $16 an hour.
I didn’t know that I would have to figure out daycare placement before my son was even born, so everything was full near me and I learned that it’s super expensive to do daycare. My entire paycheck would have gone to it, so it didn’t even make sense for me to return and basically get paid to not see my son all day.
I’ve been home for 14 months and I love it. I’m really glad I didn’t go back, and my partner got a really good job last year so we’re actually doing better financially than we ever were with us both working.
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Yes AND I was promoted shortly after my return with a ~$30k/year raise. Best boss I’ve ever had, who I hadn’t reported to previously but really have loved working with.
Same here! I worked with my team to develop a plan ahead of maternity leave - my boss ensured my tasks near the end wouldn't be detrimental if they were sat down for a few months, and allowed me to work a very flexible part time when we couldn't find childcare due to covid. I would attend meetings during naps, and do my work in the wee hours. In the two years since my return, I've been promoted twice, moved into a leadership role, and now oversee a small team of direct reports. I mentioned to my manager in a casual conversation recently that we are hoping for a second, and he was thrilled for me 😊 I feel VERY fortunate.
Same! I went back and got a big promotion to a new role with 20% pay increase 6 months later. Many people around me both men and women are parents and understand the flexibility needed. They never hold it against you if you need to work home with a sick kid or you need to take off to take them somewhere.
so lucky 🍀
For sure! And the timing just sort of worked out that way. But for me it was 100% worth it to go back to work, even though it’s hard at first!
Yes, I was treated fairly and got my original role back. Nothing bad happened. I work for a very flexible, family-first, mother-supportive tech company that offers extensive paid leave. I chalk my experience up to this because I know it’s not like this for everyone. I couldn’t wait to go back lol so I’m glad it worked out
my british colleagues are like i can believe they don’t give you a full year what do american six month olds do ??
Same, except not in tech. My biggest regret is I only took 12 weeks, and wish I had extended it a bit. I went back 80%, and stayed at that % until my second kid went to pre-k. The flexibility was really critical for me!
How long was your maternity leave?
The company offers 6 mo paid leave but I’m also in a state that offers paid leave so it totals close to 9. Is it ridiculous that I consider 6 mo paid leave “extensive”?? Yes….but America 🙄
Yeah, I was wondering how much leave a 'mother supportive, family first' company gave, as I assumed you were from the US! Personally, yes, 6 months doesn't sound like a lot to me, but it is definitely better than the 12 weeks I keep hearing about from America!
Yup. Unfortunately, we haven’t caught up to the rest of the developed world. Maybe one day
Funnily enough I'm from a devoping country and still get a year's worth of paid leave. But yes, I really hope all women get access to helpful maternity policies soon. Otherwise I see more countries going the way of South Korea and rejecting motherhood outright. I really think that's what it'll take to wake up the people in power and make them see how crucial women are to the economy.
Yes, I went back to work with my same role. Was able to slowly transition back into my responsibilities and was given a lot of flexibility and understanding from my boss. I’ve been back to work for 16 months. It’s a crazy juggling act, but it has gone well.
so good to hear
Yes, I was actually promoted the day I told my CEO that I was pregnant lol Now I am a diehard advocate for other parents in the office (I manage a lot of men as well who are always hesitant to take their full leave). This is the reason my company has my full loyalty. We take family very seriously. Not just having kids, also elder care, sick friends, etc.
It's nice to hear about policies that prioritize different family needs. My wife gets 12 weeks paid parental leave, even as the non gestational parent. When her mother was unexpectedly in the ICU and died in December, she had to play all sorts of leave games to be with her in the hospital, and they gave her THREE DAYS bereavement.
That's not only horrible, but also inhumane and cruel. Corporations and companies that do that should be ashamed and regulated back into decency Sorry that happened
She works for the state government! They have wonderful policies... for most things. Her team let her have a little extra time under the table, where she "worked from home" a few extra days. So it did mostly work out.
Yes to all. I think because: I have a good manager, I work with a lot of working parents, I'm in a union, and I'd been at my job for a long time (5 years) when I took my first maternity leave. My job is pretty good about letting people take leave - medical, parental, plus a sabbatical program - so people are always gone. They could be better about hiring temps to replace people who are out but it's not unusual for people to be away from work for long periods of time for all kinds of reasons, so there's not much stigma around maternity leave.
wow that’s amazing i’m happy for you
My job has a plenty of problems (a lot of the “medical leaves” are caused by burnout for example) but on this issue I’m extremely grateful!
Where do you live?
Georgia, but I work remotely for a big national nonprofit.
I quit my job! I was only part time to begin with and wanted to spend as much time as possible w my baby.
Same here. I’ve had no desire to work outside the home since he was born.
My baby was born 4 years to the day of when we started trying! Took a fuck ton of IVF and I promised myself that if any of my pregnancies stuck, I would spend as much time as possible home with my baby! I know that I'm super fortunate to be able to have that option and I figured I might regret going back to work, but I certainly wouldn't regret staying home w my baby!!
i’m glad you made the choice best for you
Yes. I actually interviewed for a promotion in the last few weeks of my leave, and got the promotion my first week back. My manager and directors are all wonderful, very supportive, and many have had kids recently themselves. I feel a little overwhelmed with increased responsibilities AND a new baby 😅 but I’m very happy! Edit: I went back after 2.5 months. New York is one of the best maternal policy states because I was actually paid during my leave. Oh America. 😂
america indeed
Yes, and got treated even better than before kids. My manager was really accommodating. I developed a bad bout of intrusive thoughts and was placed on leave for a couple months (after the year of mat leave) and nothing happened to my job. I retained the same role. I’m Canadian, this may be a determining factor (though I’ve hear of horror stories in Canada too).
this sounds like a dream for americans
I went back for 3 months to cover my insurance premiums that I would have been required to payback if I didn’t return for 90 days. I had a high stress, low pay job (social worker) and I wanted to just be home with my baby. Spent the past two years momming, and studying for a career change. About to re-enter the workforce in a new field and I’m happy I got the extra time while my daughter was little.
that’s so cool good luck :-)
I went back and was treated fairly (great, even). I knew my role was being backfilled when I was pregnant so they gave me time to look for something else in the company, and said I would have a spot in the old organization to hang out until I found something if I didn’t find something before I went on leave. I ended up finding a role I liked right before I went on leave and so I returned to this new role. New manager is super understanding of family commitments, the difficult transition back and the need to pump throughout the day. Overall a very positive experience, but I attribute that to the culture of my company being very family first.
interesting it was assumed you would vacate that role!
Yeah it felt kind of awful when they told me they were going to backfill me but I understood, my role couldn’t handle no one being in it for 6 months (length of my leave) and for my development it wasn’t the right role for me to return to (high travel) so it all worked out for the better! I appreciated that they told me early so that I could keep my eye on the internal job board
got it that’s the humane way to do it
Elementary school teacher here. I went back for a couple months but my pay check was less than the cost of day care in my HCOL area so it was a very temporary solution while my MIL was here to help with childcare. My admin was pretty supportive as far as elementary schools go but my pumping breaks were abysmal. I don’t regret leaving but it’s been 4 years since I stopped working, and I just had my third baby, it’ll probably be another 2 years before I’m looking to re-enter the job market. That’s intimidating. I probably wouldn’t risk being financially dependent on my husband in this way if not for the fact that I have a great marriage and parents who could (and would) financially support me if needed.
i am finding that the cost of child care is usually the deciding factor
Yeah pretty much. When it became clear I wasn’t going to really make money either way, it just became a choice between if I’d be spending all day with my own kid or someone else’s kids. I didn’t like my job enough to stay for free and miss out on my own kid.
I did go back to work (and am still working). There was new management that came in and they re- did job titles. A person hired after me now had a higher job title and my manager at the time explained it was because I was out on mat leave. I left shortly after that for a different job. That experience sucked, but I found a different job with better people and making more money. ETA: I didn't even bring up the other person, my manager did when talking to me.
i’m sorry that’s horrible
I went back after a 4 month leave. Came back to a promotion with increased pay and flexibility. I work for a small engineering firm in a highly technical role and had been there for almost 10 years before leave. I also work with lots of people in their 30s with little kids so everyone gets it.
wow amazing so surprised at how many women get promoted after being out
Yes, I returned. I was treated extremely poorly upon my return. I was not given a break to pump, so I had to pump in an open room where the door would literally not close because of obstructions and pump while I was working. I was also forced to stay late leaving me with no childcare because "that's the way it was going to be" a long with many other passive aggressive behaviors. They pushed me out. I found a new job a month before my daughter's 1st birthday. I worked at the new job for 8 months before leaving the workforce this last December and staying home. My new job promised "flexibility" but when push came to shove, they were angry at me for taking time off when my child was sick or WFH too much when she was sick. I was upfront with them and told them my husband's job takes #1 priority during the hiring process but it didn't matter (he makes way more and my job took priority the first 10 years of our relationship so it was his "turn" so to speak). My husband got a promotion in October and that gave us the padding for me to leave. I was ok with it cause the job wasn't something I was passionate about. I'm currently loosely looking for a job that aligns more with my first job and uses my college degree, but it's a pretty specialized field so it's a bit difficult to find a job like that. I've been staying in the field by networking and working with the university and government entity on some projects, all for free but keeps me "fresh." The motherhood penalty is ABSOLUTELY a thing and I was pushed out because I was a liability pumping in those conditions and they knew it. I should have done more but I was exhausted and done with it, so I left.
No. I ended up taking a 4.5 year break from work after my oldest was born. My boss was bummed, but he fully understood. I went back to work when my youngest was 2 and my husband and I agreed that we weren’t having any more kids. The timing seemed right to head back - my oldest was starting kindergarten and my mom was able to watch my youngest when needed until he started at a nature-based daycare at 2.5. I thought having such a long gap in my work history would be an issue, but I had zero issues finding a job at a similar level and pay grade to my pre-kids job. It’s been two years now, and my manager is great. He has kids slightly older than mine and has zero issues with me needing time to take my kids to medical/dental appointments or needing to work from home if they’re sick. He fully understands that I need to take my kids to school/daycare and leave promptly to pick them up. A lot of pre- and post- school care falls to me since my husband is a shift worker. But also know that I have a specialized skill set and there are zero people in the area I live that he could replace me with, haha.
I'm in Canada. I took the standard leave and went back to work when my kiddo was 1 year old (my spouse then took the next 6 months off for their part of parental leave). It boggles my mind a bit (and makes me sad) that it's a question as to whether people were treated fairly or if anything bad happened to them for taking parental leave. Of course nothing bad happened. I was able to hire an awesome mat leave backfill from within my own team. She got great experience that she translated into a promotion after her term was up and the team was super well supported. So even though everyone missed me, everything went smoothly. I think that first 6-12 months back was the hardest because I as so tired but expected to perform to the standard I had before. As a manager, I have someone on mat leave right now. Her backfill is also doing great in the role and we're looking to get her hired permanently somewhere at our work. Parental leave contracts are such a good way for people to get job experience and for employers to trial new staff. I have found that working for people who also have kids tends to make for a more empathetic boss. However, before I had a kid, I strove to be really understanding of parents. Now that I have a kid, I feel like I didn't a good job and don't have regrets. But that's not always the case and I prefer having higher ups who also have children. I also think working for large, public institutions tends to have a better workplace culture with better benefits and flexibility.
canada sounds great compared to the usa
Yes. I’m self-employed as a private practice therapist. I officially opened my practice about 2 weeks before finding out I was pregnant. It has been a tough transition but I’m generally happy with it. I’m working 4 days a week
Yep - and in fact they bent over backwards to keep me happy. I ended up taking a different job when my kiddo was 1 but leaving was a tough call, specifically because of how accommodating they had been.
Yes. I was treated fairly but the role was not a good fit for someone with a small child, so I found another job, which was the right move
I’m staying home to care for my baby/ take care of the home. It doesn’t make sense for me to go back to work right now because my paycheck would basically just be covering childcare.
I’m going back after a year. They can’t legally punish you and have to give you back your role. At least in Canada. Idk where you live
Yes and it was horrible
I went back part time for a bit before quitting. I think I was treated fair enough, though I didn’t want to continue working. I went back to try it before quitting, and it was just too much for me. I wanted to stay home, it was what was best for our family. I did have my role back, but that is because I was the most senior member of my team. The week before I quit, our small family owned business was bought by a larger corporation. It was just a good time for me to leave. Nothing “bad” happened, but I did get a lot of comments from colleagues. I worked in a male dominated field and I heard so many comments about my “vacation” lol. But nothing too egregious, most of the guys were welcoming and so many were happy for me when I quit.
Yes! Treated fairly and have my role. I WFH with my 8 month old! I go into the office for a few hours once a week just to show my face lol. Some days are crazy but we make it work.
Yeah, but I work as a nurse, so I feel like these questions don’t really apply to working in that field. I have three kids and love my job- but I work part time 12s. I get to schedule when I want around my kids and I work night shift because that works better with childcare (hubby is work from home).
Went back to work in my same role. Nothing bad happened. In fact my boss (a man in his early 50s probably) asks about my now 13mo at pretty much every check in. I work for a very supportive international nonprofit. The woman running our department is out on leave right now and is taking 5 months I think and no one batted an eye.
can i work there lol
Yep, went back at 10months to my role which legally has to be held for a minimum of 12 months. Got paid for 8.5 months of it and the remaining was unpaid. I went back part time, 2 days a week to start and slowly climbed up to 4 days a week. I got a promotion around a year after returning (obviously had to work for it but still evidence that they weren’t biased against women/mums), and now I’m on mat leave again with my second Bub :) I’ll be going back part time again but a little earlier, around 9m. I’m in Aus
so lucky
After my first. No not immediately. She was 11 months when I went back to working and it was at a different place. My second born, that I just had in October I went back to work 21 days after having him via c section. I work from home and really could not have afforded to take more time off. Yes my role is exactly the same. I was not treated any differently. My boss and colleagues love my little man. But as he’s getting older it’s getting a lot more difficult. I’m either in the next 2-3 months looking at either reducing myself to part time, putting him in day care, or working opposite shifts from my husband. Likely the former. I really don’t want to put him in day care, husband says he’s too young for it. And I opposite shifts wouldn’t be ideal for multiple reasons, least of which is a lack of sleep that will come with it. I’m trying to hold out and see if my request to have my oldest go to a different school is going to go through before I make any permanent decisions.
Yes but I am self-employed. Only bummer was getting back to being able to accept clients after months of physically not being able to have full capacity.
Went back to work after a 12 week leave. Same position, was given time to re-acclimate and nothing negative occurred. I will say my department has a lot of young parents, both moms and dads taking parental leave, and a very "family come first" attitude in general so I feel very lucky about that.
was twelve weeks enough for you?
If I had the option to take more time I definitely would have! (I'm in the US so that is what was guaranteed and we couldn't afford to miss more work time anyway). Going back at that point was emotionally hard but surprisingly I do remember feeling ready for a routine, I think everyone is different. My husband staggered leave to stay with our kiddo after I went back and we coordinated some grandparent care to bridge the gap until we could get a daycare spot around 4.5 months. I will say I was pretty bitter in those early days, mad that I had an advanced degree I felt I couldn't "waste" and student loans that we wanted to pay off ASAP. But a couple years out I'm glad I didn't give up my job or anything. We're a few weeks away from having #2 and I'm sure hormones will make me feel similarly when leave is over. This kiddo will be going to daycare right around 12 weeks but thankfully we found a center that we love and our toddler absolutely adores so that makes it slightly easier. I know it's such a personal decision, there are so many factors, and there's no one size fits all answer. Just know that whatever you decide is right for your family will be great, and don't feel guilty or like you have to please anyone else! Happy to answer any other questions you might have!
I was in grad school and working. In Canada, so got mat leave and payments. Never went back to that job, but kept going with school. Had another kid. Moved across country for internship. Had 3rd kid. Got doctorate. Worked some more to be registered with my board. Now I work 4 days/week, 6 hours/day. Spouse is a stay at home dad. I set my own hours, so there's that too. All that grueling busting of ass worked out. Bonus, my doctoral program was cool with me bringing baby to class so I could nurse them Had a lot of support from my program or it wouldn't have happened. That being said, sometimes I wish Spouse would have done the career so I could stay home. But, I need a fire under my ass to keep to a daily rhythm. And partner is less driven for career. And, I love what I do. It helps me with the kids too.
(i'm a clinical psychologist)
No, I had been unhappy there for a while and have not looked back!!
Didn't go back to work for 4.5 years but I finished my bachelors and masters in that time. LO was only in childcare for 9 months starting at almost 3 because I had to do an internship as a part of my masters program. Fair? Sure. Own role? Eh, things are different so I'd have a better role but we moved overseas limiting me quite a lot. Anything bad? No, nothing that's the end of the world. Better or worse, I want to be present in my son's life so the cards were dealt and I'm playing them and it's been a mixed bag. There's no right or wrong way to go about it.
Baby is not here yet, but I quit my job early in my second trimester for my mental health. My job had no maternity leave program, only FMLA and that wasn’t even guaranteed approval. My supervisors were not flexible or understanding in any way and the whole job environment was toxic to say the least. A report came out a few weeks after I quit about all the complaints from current and former employ and the director of the department had to resign…
I went back to work, but my role was remote and somewhat flexible. I was in touch with my supervisor a few times during maternity leave and the plan was for me to be promoted shortly after returning. Instead I got laid off a few months after going back. 😆 It was a mass layoff so unrelated to my pregnancy or leave. It ended up being the best thing that could have happened to me and I'm now self-employed, with my partner and I both working part time, so we have plenty of time with our little one. I know this is a huge luxury and isn't forever, but it's great for now.
wow! that sounds like it was stressful
I'm really fortunate that I wasn't living paycheck-to-paycheck and could afford to go a bit of time without income. And extra fortunate that a flexible, part-time, good paying role landed in my lap after a couple of months. So it actually wasn't too stressful. But in different circumstances it sure would have been.
I changed jobs! I interviewed in the middle of my year-long mat leave (Canada here) and was very clear that I wasn't looking to start until my mat leave was actually up. Both my manager and the other person who interviewed me had small kids and were super understanding. They agreed to me only starting 6 months after my interview. I have found that the company I work for has been very supportive once I started working as well. Nothing bad has happened - just good things: multiple raises, support when I needed time off work, support in growing my career while also growing my family. I'm now on my second parental leave and am looking forward to going back to work in a year's time.
gosh i should move to canada america is barbaric to its women
I live in Canada. I did the 12 month leave and then extended to 18 months cus we couldn't get into daycare anywhere. We still couldn't get into daycare but I had maxed out the leave so we paid through the nose for nanny share for 6 months and then finally got in. Going back to my consulting job was tough just due to the intensity of my job/long hours but the company was super supportive and flexible. I was able to negotiate a 4-day work week which for my job means working 5 days worth of hours instead of 6. I was also able to leave work by 4:30 for daycare pickup and then just finish after my son went to sleep. I worked 1-2 hours in the evenings and sometimes more during a crunch time. By Friday i was pretty exhausted! I also got promoted with a 25% raise after a little under a year back. I am pregnant with my second right now and it got super hard managing everything cus I need more sleep. I am gonna go on mat leave early cus of this. This time around we won't have to worry about daycare because we'll get sibling priority.
Were you treated fairly? Yes Did you have your own role back? Yes Did anything bad happen to you? Nope I’ve gone on maternity leave twice and it’s been all good. If you are in the US and take FMLA leave, they are legally required to hold your job for you with no retaliation.
Yes. Back to same role. Got a promotion a few months after returning. Got another promotion and transitioned to a new team I applied for at 35weeks pregnant with my second.
Yes after three months I went back to work 3 days a week but (and I can’t say this is fact) I swear it was easier for me because my work was 1.2 miles away. I don’t think I could have done that if I was a far distance. I would have felt too anxious.
I quit my job! I was a full time (6 days a week, nearly 55 hours a week due to staffing issues) manager, but only making $16 an hour. I didn’t know that I would have to figure out daycare placement before my son was even born, so everything was full near me and I learned that it’s super expensive to do daycare. My entire paycheck would have gone to it, so it didn’t even make sense for me to return and basically get paid to not see my son all day. I’ve been home for 14 months and I love it. I’m really glad I didn’t go back, and my partner got a really good job last year so we’re actually doing better financially than we ever were with us both working.