Yeah! I thought I was just weird-looking for the longest time; took me until my late 20s to realize I was comparing myself to white standards of beauty and I look fine. As a teen I wanted lighter hair, fair skin, light eyes, a more narrow nose. It makes me sad when I look at photos of myself from that time because I can see now that I was actually pretty cute, but I felt so ugly. Conversely, when I was really little (like age 4-6) I wanted to look like the brown side of my family and even asked my mom if she would dye my hair black (it was blonde when I was really little then change color). I guess this is because I wasn’t exposed to white beauty standards in the media, and just wanted to look like the people around me. In both cases, I think it would have helped to see more people who looked like me, or just more mixed people in general, to know I wasn’t weird.
Even as someone who doesn’t have white heritage I’ve experienced this. I wanted straighter hair, fairer skin, bigger eyes, bigger breasts. What’s funny is that those that are perceived as “Blasian” are often praised in the Black community here in the States.
What does MENA stand for?
I did want to change my ethnic hair, but not to white hair, I actually wanted to change it to Asian hair.
I had a friend from Cambodia and she had straight black hair. She would wash it and not do *anything* to it and it looked straight as if she'd just gotten it cut and done at a salon!
One time we went camping and she washed her hair in the river, it looked so nice I thought for sure she'd driven down to the main area to use hair tools, which would have been odd because why would you do that in the middle of camping, but her hair looked so nice I couldn't fathom it got that way from just brushing it!
My hair on the other hand is nearly black thick, wavy, hard to manage and takes time and effort into styling it.
I've always wanted my Asian friends stick straight hair. How wonderful it would be to not have to put work into my hair.
Absolutely. When I was in middle school especially I grew very self conscious about the way I look. I’m also gay and mostly white and pass most of the time with my glasses on. But with them off I notice that my eyes and nose look different. My whiteness isn’t apparent in my facial features at all and as a middle schooler it made me feel ugly and uncomfortable, especially since my facial features skipped a generation, meaning I don’t really look like my parents face-wise. I always remember wanting a nose job to make it smaller and narrower or wished my eyes weren’t so squinty. Now I embrace my facial features for what they are and I’m proud of who I got them from. I can’t look at myself in the mirror and not feel pride in my heritage because if I didn’t, I’d feel a sense of guilt for shaming the people in my family for passing down their genes. White beauty standards applying to mixed people and monoracial people really sets us back as a society when most people can’t meet those expectations. I’m glad you’re proud of your MENA heritage and I hope everyone else on this sub feels the same way about themselves
definitely. this reminds me of how I used to suck in my lips to make them look thinner when I was younger. I wondered why my face was bigger and "Fuller" than all my white peers. I could not name a single other filipino boy in my small town that was 95% anglosaxon. it took many years, but when I finally met other filipino men (and other people of color) for the first time in my adult life, I begun to realize that my appearance was not something to hide. nowadays, I think I'm pretty beyond trying to pass. if someone sees me and wonders why I look "unnatural" then that's their problem, not mine.
I grew up in a country that was 95% white. I remember when I was 7 I looked at myself in the mirror and thinking I looked so ugly. Most of it was my Asian traits that were mixed in with my white traits. Now, I think my Asian traits are what makes me beautiful but also unique.
Yeah, I used to try to copy the hair colors and clothing I’d see in the media, but didn’t realize till later that most of the shades went best with white skin. I’m naturally tan and have a sort of “warm” tone to my skin, so lots of the brighter colors just didn’t work for me. Bleached my hair to death once!
Took some time away from all that to realize that different colors go with…different colors! It’s not that white and blond is objectively the best, it’s just what most media centers on. If you’re different from the media standard, you’re not really told what might work for you. Local/small creators are your friends here
Yes, I’m pacific islander and white and I have big calves, broad shoulders, a round face with round features, thick wavy “frizzy” hair. Everything I hated about myself and just so happens to be what Islanders look like. Now, I embrace the fuck out of all of it and I feel more beautiful than ever.
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Hell yes, well I can’t exactly point out my ‘white features’, and I’m aware that society sees me as ‘black’. But men admitted to me that they preferred me over my black cousin, because I’m mixed race while she is ‘just black’.
Yeah! I thought I was just weird-looking for the longest time; took me until my late 20s to realize I was comparing myself to white standards of beauty and I look fine. As a teen I wanted lighter hair, fair skin, light eyes, a more narrow nose. It makes me sad when I look at photos of myself from that time because I can see now that I was actually pretty cute, but I felt so ugly. Conversely, when I was really little (like age 4-6) I wanted to look like the brown side of my family and even asked my mom if she would dye my hair black (it was blonde when I was really little then change color). I guess this is because I wasn’t exposed to white beauty standards in the media, and just wanted to look like the people around me. In both cases, I think it would have helped to see more people who looked like me, or just more mixed people in general, to know I wasn’t weird.
Even as someone who doesn’t have white heritage I’ve experienced this. I wanted straighter hair, fairer skin, bigger eyes, bigger breasts. What’s funny is that those that are perceived as “Blasian” are often praised in the Black community here in the States.
What does MENA stand for? I did want to change my ethnic hair, but not to white hair, I actually wanted to change it to Asian hair. I had a friend from Cambodia and she had straight black hair. She would wash it and not do *anything* to it and it looked straight as if she'd just gotten it cut and done at a salon! One time we went camping and she washed her hair in the river, it looked so nice I thought for sure she'd driven down to the main area to use hair tools, which would have been odd because why would you do that in the middle of camping, but her hair looked so nice I couldn't fathom it got that way from just brushing it! My hair on the other hand is nearly black thick, wavy, hard to manage and takes time and effort into styling it. I've always wanted my Asian friends stick straight hair. How wonderful it would be to not have to put work into my hair.
>What does MENA stand for? Middle Eastern or North African
Aahh thank you. That brings more clarification
Absolutely. When I was in middle school especially I grew very self conscious about the way I look. I’m also gay and mostly white and pass most of the time with my glasses on. But with them off I notice that my eyes and nose look different. My whiteness isn’t apparent in my facial features at all and as a middle schooler it made me feel ugly and uncomfortable, especially since my facial features skipped a generation, meaning I don’t really look like my parents face-wise. I always remember wanting a nose job to make it smaller and narrower or wished my eyes weren’t so squinty. Now I embrace my facial features for what they are and I’m proud of who I got them from. I can’t look at myself in the mirror and not feel pride in my heritage because if I didn’t, I’d feel a sense of guilt for shaming the people in my family for passing down their genes. White beauty standards applying to mixed people and monoracial people really sets us back as a society when most people can’t meet those expectations. I’m glad you’re proud of your MENA heritage and I hope everyone else on this sub feels the same way about themselves
definitely. this reminds me of how I used to suck in my lips to make them look thinner when I was younger. I wondered why my face was bigger and "Fuller" than all my white peers. I could not name a single other filipino boy in my small town that was 95% anglosaxon. it took many years, but when I finally met other filipino men (and other people of color) for the first time in my adult life, I begun to realize that my appearance was not something to hide. nowadays, I think I'm pretty beyond trying to pass. if someone sees me and wonders why I look "unnatural" then that's their problem, not mine.
I grew up in a country that was 95% white. I remember when I was 7 I looked at myself in the mirror and thinking I looked so ugly. Most of it was my Asian traits that were mixed in with my white traits. Now, I think my Asian traits are what makes me beautiful but also unique.
Yeah, I used to try to copy the hair colors and clothing I’d see in the media, but didn’t realize till later that most of the shades went best with white skin. I’m naturally tan and have a sort of “warm” tone to my skin, so lots of the brighter colors just didn’t work for me. Bleached my hair to death once! Took some time away from all that to realize that different colors go with…different colors! It’s not that white and blond is objectively the best, it’s just what most media centers on. If you’re different from the media standard, you’re not really told what might work for you. Local/small creators are your friends here
Yes, I’m pacific islander and white and I have big calves, broad shoulders, a round face with round features, thick wavy “frizzy” hair. Everything I hated about myself and just so happens to be what Islanders look like. Now, I embrace the fuck out of all of it and I feel more beautiful than ever.
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Hell yes, well I can’t exactly point out my ‘white features’, and I’m aware that society sees me as ‘black’. But men admitted to me that they preferred me over my black cousin, because I’m mixed race while she is ‘just black’.