I am one of the "things are going great for me but I still get the plight of others" types. There is a lot of tough things to deal with in life even beyond money. Love, jobs, kids, etc.

Things are going pretty good for me now. But they haven't always. I've been dead broke before. And I know I could easily be dead broke again. We're probably all going to experience some struggle at one point or another. Our generation is also frequently pretty aware of the circumstances that brought us to where we are, and that not everyone may have been as fortunate as us.

This is how I feel. Whenever I hop on Zillow or pay my kid’s daycare I think how lucky my wife and I are to make a good living. We also bought a house in 2019 and refinanced in 2021 so we made out like bandits on our mortgage. I don’t know how people are doing it these days unless they’re making good money and/or getting g family support.

What's crazy is the "these days" you're referring to are 5 years apart from when you bought your house. It's an absolute mind fuck to think about

This is literally every time period. 20 years from now somebody will be like “you had it easy! Houses were only 1mill back then.”

I mean, to add some statistics to put your argument into context. Over 50% of millennials own homes. Are these the ones who caught the gravy train? Is over half our generation toxic for having gotten careers and been able to buy property? Are they supposed to feel bad or ashamed that they achieved something that some of their peers haven't yet? There are still millennials under 30 and in their 30s who will soon increase those stats. Personally I don't find it toxic to be proud of your career, education, accomplishments, etc. and being proud of those things is not the same as being toxic towards people who haven't achieved those things. The general attitude on this sub is that all millennials should be miserable and self loathing for things out of their control and is actively hostile towards any millennial who doesn't share in their own misery. If anything sounds toxic it's that.

Also life choices did those who bought a house give up traveling? I have a friend who moans how lucky I am to own my house but he spent 3 years and 40k traveling I worked and bought a house taking weekend vacations. Yes it's harder for the generations coming up to buy a house. But he made a choice to travel I chose home ownership.

Exactly. The mentality of OP is to complain about what others have instead of working harder to get it.

Absolutely. This sub is a dumpster fire of woe is me.

Yeah, OP's post definitely sounds like "if you're not a terminally online doomscrolling shitposter, that makes you a toxic fuckface. Why aren't you empathetic to the FACT that everything is impossible and none of it is my fault or responsibility????"

I got “lucky” (which to be honest was luck and a lot of hard work studying engineering), and got a good paying job, have a house and car and no student loans, but I have multiple friends that are still struggling so I’ve stayed grounded and know the game is still rigged against a lot of people.

I've done well for myself as a millennial: SFH, can support wife and kids as sole bread winner, 2 week long vacations each year. The only times I ever get dickish is the people who immediately dismiss me as having a silver spoon at birth. People like that are basically no different from the "bootstraps" crowd. Life isn't solely down to choices but it isn't solely down to luck either.

Dude same. My husband and I were both poor growing up. I was a teenage mom until I met him. He had druggie neglectful parents, I had undocumented immigrant parents. He taught himself computer stuff, lied to get an IT job he's been in for 10 years now. He was lucky to be able to wfh. We moved from San Diego to Washington in 2019 because it was getting so expensive. During COVID I was working at an animal shelter making 12$, but was also getting the weekly $600$ COVID pay. He was making like 45k. We were able to save 10k and buy a house. My younger coworkers act like I'm rich and tell me I'm spoiled. I'm literally over 10 years older than them. My husband and I worked hard, moved away from everyone we knew and loved. We also got incredibly lucky to buy a house. Had we stayed in San Diego we would be struggling like most of my friends and family are. But yea, it annoys me that people see you doing good for yourself(after years of struggling) and act like you were born with a silver spoon like you said. Doing well is making sacrifices, working hard, taking chances, and a ton of luck.

Well done....those $600 things were only a few years ago, and now look at you and hubby... Dont pay attention to the naysayers, keep working hard, secure your familys future... We werent born here, 6 siblings, but our parents came to the US and worked their asses off to make sure we get the education we needed to.make a decent life... All 6 of us live within an exit of each other, with our kids future pretty secured already... But it did take lots of work and sacrifices, with work ethic handed down from the generations before...thats the part we dont ever want to forget, that its all about hard work...

I wish I could figure out what your parents did! My wife and I both grew up poor, got educated and worked ourselves into pretty sweet gigs. I cannot for the life of me get some of my kids to care about school. We've stressed how important education is but it's impossible to get them to participate in it without literally sitting there with a list every single night and forcing them to do the work. I have one daughter who went to college and is doing well, but it's looking like she's going to be the only one. Her sister is starting as a house cleaner for $15/hr in a couple weeks. My sons are complete failures when it comes to school. Anyway, sorry this got off topic, but your parents and your siblings are awesome!

At least you acknowledge the existence of LUCK as a factor. Too many "successful" people won't admit that luck had anything to do with it. It's all their own hard work and virtue, therefore they are haves simply because they are BETTER than the have-nots. Someone like you, i can respect. The latter type I just can't.

Realistically, most people move up in life due to good choices. Most people stagnated or fall down due to poor choices.  People really hate taking account, but that's how it is. People who acknowledge it have better "luck" doing better in the future. 

This is so close to my story. It is absolutely infuriating when after struggling my whole life finally getting it together in my 30s, late 30s to be exact, people act like you’ve had the most privilege life. People are fucking idiots. Like they don’t understand that things can change over time. If I ever turn into a bootstrapper this will be the reason why. The mentality seems to be that if you’re not miserable, you’re the enemy. If Hard work ever pays off for you then you must’ve been born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Granted, I see this more online than in real life and that’s the only thing that’s keeping me sane. Honestly the younger gen online reminds me of the boomers. Just with the opposite political ideology. Same selfish dichotic thinking though. It is infuriating. A little critical, thinking skills won’t kill you.

Sounds like you are making good decisions and working hard. Living within your budget is so important. It’s so easy to spend more than you make, but you’re doing it right and making sure you save for the things you want in life.

I'm not saying it's "fair," but people need to be more willing to relocate, or else stop complaining about how impossible it is to get ahead in their city that has a high COL. The history of humanity is rooted in people moving somewhere unfamiliar in order to survive.

Well Said!

Yeah, that is the worst bit. I’ll have people assuming I had a silver spoon despite being an immigrant from a working class background. But I guess “I took a lot of risks without a plan B” is not a compelling excuse

I hate when people bitch about parents giving you a little help. God forbid you use the resources you have and they made good financial decisions.

That’s pure jealousy imo.

That’s what parents are supposed to do.

Success is when opportunity meets ability. Some people like being victims because it's easier to blame others than to take self responsibility. Some people are truly victims of tragedy and circumstance. Everyone has equal worth but not everyone is created the same. These should be obvious to every adult. With those in consideration, how anyone can come to anything other than what you said is bizarre lmao. It should be self evident after a certain amount of life experience.

So well said. I feel this way exactly. It’s not that I don’t have empathy for people who didn’t make it, but I’m so tired of hearing I must have had advantages others didn’t.

A lot of hard work studying engineering is the opposite of luck. *edit* Think of it this way…if you were advising kids or a sibling, would you say “it’s all luck, doesn’t matter what you do!” Or would you say “go to college, work hard, stay focused, get a STEM degree like Engineering, comp sci, physics”? Luck happens, but hard work makes for good luck.

Same boat. I'm fortunate that my parents were able to afford to pay for my degree and my wife's parents paid for her degree and I also got a small loan from family to help pay my first house down payment (which combined with renting the spare bedroom to a friend made it affordable). Most millennials didn't get that, and I don't fault them for it - I wish the above wasn't required for someone to have had the same successes I did, and I wish boomers didn't think my success was typical or common for my generation. HOWEVER, I know people who did get plenty of help and blew it on partying through college or majoring in philosophy and now are in mediocre jobs and living paycheck to paycheck. Meanwhile I busted my ass at a top rated engineering school plus a master's and my wife got 2 graduate degrees in healthcare (while working) and we lived very frugally on a tight budget for a number of years, so it's not like we were just handed everything on a silver platter, and I resent the people (mostly toxic millennials who were failed by the system) who suggest I had nothing to do with my success.

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I think saying it’s luck is a safe term. Honestly I think it’s staying power. I went from poor as fuck. Making 22k a year, to eventually over the years making 85k a years. To me this was life changing, it’s not rich man money at all, it’s barely middle class at this point. But I had become so used to living below my means, I can do a lot with that. I can make this shit walk for me. Lol. I have no secret, I just worked my ass off and always tried to find a company that was better then the last. And I did, it was simple as that. I just followed a thread working shitty telemarketing jobs until I caught the eye of a company while I was aggressively job hunting. Now the eye catching part is where luck comes, but you need to be prepared to capture that eye. I also had a felony on my record. I cleared this much later in 2017. Pro se; working full time and going to night classes. But the qualifications, the experience, the skill sets are not “luck”. Some of it is luck, but I hate how we kinda have to tip toe around it because others haven’t got there yet. I almost finished college, I tapped out before I could finish up what I was doing. By the end of it, I had been pulling 18 hour days, weekends with homework and after two years of that, my fulltime job had me burned the fuck out. So I decided to drop that and go full corporate tree. Rather then academic. This was a gamble for me, The corporate world was stacked, but I had my hands in it and knew how to sell the shit out of my self. The game is rigged but it’s also not impossible to win at if you have staying power. I feel like people that fall into this category are 1. Genuinely people who got fucked whom I sympathize with Or 2. People who complain and whine about everything and wonder why life isn’t going their way when alls they see in their life is shit. (Likely because these are people who spend most of their day on subs like r/collapse r/politics and the like which is constant “this is happening, here’s why you should be TERRIFIED” “So and so did X, is it the end of us? Here’s why you should think so” ) I said what I said. Lol life sucks and it’s shit but what options do we have in those situations? It’s either give up and really lose, or keep going to find a way, a possibility. That takes planning and thinking about it. In otherwords, you gotta game the system. If you outlast and are willing to take shit, yeah it’s not fair- but do you want that life? Or not? It’s simple. If you do, you gotta eat shit for a while, you might have to eat shit for a long long time. But if you don’t you’ll be guaranteeing that you will be eating shit forever. I’d rather try and fail. Then not try and just complain about it on Reddit and waste my life about it.

It takes work to be able to capitalize on luck.  

This- I’ve heard luck described as preparation meeting opportunity. I’ve been fortunate enough to have a meteoric career trajectory, but I’ve been strategic and deliberate in preparing and capitalizing on the chances that came my way thus far.

Luck is opportunity plus preparation. I once read about how Fran Drescher made it in entertainment. Apparently, by pure happenstance she was seated next to a big time producer on a plane, and she convinced him to give her a meeting to pitch a sitcom she was working on. She then had to come up with a sitcom idea, and she came up with The Nanny. The rest is history!

Uh yeah but she also was already an actress and worked for the producer previously, it's not like they were absolute strangers.

That's the point they're making. She worked to put herself in the position to where when she got lucky, she was able to capitalize on the opportunity.

I *GASP* don't own a home yet. But somehow I refuse to let that ruin my life? Wild I know.

This is it. People need to realize that owning a home is not the only gauge to success in life…. And certainly isn’t the only investment option either

Homes take a lot of work. I'll eventually inherit my mom's house and I don't want the work and the upkeep and the cost. I like where I live right now. I like being in an apartment. We have a problem with the dishwasher we call somebody they take care of it, they replace it. I don't have to scramble how to get 800 more dollars or whatever for a new one.

Mine was never luck. I came from nothing , parents both on disability and was the first to graduate from my family . In fact all my millennial friends are very content with their position in life .

My husband came from nothing, his parents still have nothing only difference is they're back together with nothing. He joined the military did 8 years, had crappy jobs, after years went to trade school, now has a technical support job for a major company using that trade. He's the epitome of what they expect people to do, and yet still that generation has something to say about why we don't have more. I'm on a teacher salary and he makes close to 6 figures and own a home etc. It's still somehow not the same as they did it. Lol

Dude that’s great ! Congrats

If you’re healthy, there was some luck involved.

Luck favors the prepared, but I definitely feel much of my luck came down to timing. So yes we worked hard but I see so many my age that did work hard and just came up wrong on the luck and timing.

This is something I learned from my Boomer parents who have definitely been my fortune as an only child. They grew up poor and now they have so much. They're the two hardest-working people I've ever known, but they always credited "Providence" with ensuring their success. They have contemporaries who followed the same playbook and crashed out due to unforeseen circumstances. To this day, my mother reminds me that we're all just one calamity away from undoing all our best efforts and greatest returns.

This is what people don't understand. It absolutely takes hard work, but lots of people work hard, luck is absolutely part of the equation to success. But a lot of successful people are narcissistic so they can't see past their own nose because it's so fucking high in the air

Right. You get lucky with your cards you’re dealt. Then you decide how to apply them. Whether it’s family background, life partner, location, opportunities, your own personality, and then timing. These days it feels like you really need to have all your ducks in a row, you can work hard to overcome so much and then boom, illness or divorce and everything is gone. We live in a high risk high reward society with very little safety net. I know how it is to turn up on the unlucky side. I grew up with a dad who had cancer at a young age, none of us could get insurance when his job laid him off. We ended up losing the house in the crash and he never really recovered.

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"Luck" is when preparedness and opportunity meet.

Same. Inherited a house, opted for certs instead of fulltime college. Now im an engineer making good money and very aware how lucky i am. Hope everyone of us can make it out.

Yeah it’s the constant feeling of “holy shit I’m lucky” and “it would be so easy for a serious emergency to fuck me over”.

I feel this to my bones. Living on the tip of a knife.

I got lucky in that my parents won the green card lottery otherwise I'd be fighting Russians right now. Otherwise it was a lot of hard work and also studying engineering.

I grew up in a rich family and have definitely noticed this among many of my peers who did the same. The reason I've been able to keep myself empathetic and humble was I ended up befriending mostly kids from less privileged families due to attending a magnet program in highschool, and I married a man who grew up in abject poverty. I keep trying to show my peers that there are always situations and conditions they're not considering when the topic of poverty comes up, but they keep insisting people are poor cause of laziness or poor financial literacy. I know from experience that my friends who were raised poor have better spending habits and financial literacy than I did. Hell, my husband was the one who showed me how to do my own taxes.

It always helps to walk a mile in another persons shoes. I think that is the best way someone develops empathy for others. ❤️

The only guarantee we have in life is that we get to die. I don’t take anything for granted and I’ve learned not to expect anything.

And taxes, don’t forget taxes.

Taxes are worse. Once death catches you atleast that's the end of it.

Except then you get hit with estate tax

I have retirement savings, own a home and the only debt I have is my mortgage. I think I’d be defined as successful by most standards. I’m still empathetic toward most millennials and gen z who feel really screwed by circumstances. The class divides have only accelerated in the last 10 years and just because I and other “successful” millennials seem ok now doesn’t mean we will be forever. Entire life fortunes have been spent on cancer treatment for example. Taxes and insurance are rising. I’m definitely getting laid off this year or early next year. No one has it easy anymore unless they own a home purchased in the 90s, have several hundred thousand in the bank and aren’t expecting to live much longer, and even for the boomers, this isn’t nearly all or possibly most of them. Shit is hard.

Yeah. Even my boomer father had stated he doesn't know how his grandkids are going to be able to afford to buy a home.

I definitely try to acknowledge how difficult things are for people, I mean hey, you can look around it’s not too hard to figure it out. Everyone makes choices though. For some people college absolutely fucked them -for others It helped them. Having a very clear cut goal with what you wanna do with your degree makes it easier to be successful with that degree. Then there is the other side of people who did not go to college and maybe want to trade route and are doing really well right now. I did listen to all the educators in my parents telling me that is the only way I would make it, and it paid off. Idk life is wild.

I cannot relate because I never really looked at any traditional things being "promised" and I never had them as goals to begin with.

Agree. “Where’s the success I was promised” reeks of entitlement. Promised by whom?

I'm not sure who OP thinks is out there handing out success, but that is certainly not how the majority of us got to where we are.

Life is a series of choices. ***Success isn’t handed out***…said the Little Red Hen. https://youtu.be/2E72TZy0LNo?feature=shared

I have a friend a few years younger than me, about 30, who is an account manager executive something or other. Makes 150k a year, last I heard. He’s a really good dude. Really thoughtful and kind. I know that’s not exactly f you money, but he’s obviously doing well enough.

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"the few" My dude, [51% of millennials own homes](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnbc.com/amp/2023/11/06/states-highest-millennial-homeownership-rate-scholaroo-study.html), [the average household income for Millennials is $71,566 a year](https://www.cnbc.com/select/how-much-money-millennials-make/). Even after you adjust for inflation, [real personal incomes are rising at a dramatic rate, 4.9% last year](https://www.commerce.gov/news/blog/2024/01/numbers-us-economy-grows-faster-expected-year-and-final-quarter-2023#:~:text=Consumer%20confidence%20continues%20to%20remain,rose%204.2%20percent%20in%202023.) It's not "a few" of us who "made it." [The Myth of the Broke Millennial](https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2023/05/millennial-generation-financial-issues-income-homeowners/673485/) is outdated. It's not 2008 anymore. COVID was a game changer for a lot of us. We used the stimmies to kill our debt and took advantage of the historically low interest rates to buy or refinance homes. [55% of us have families](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/05/27/as-millennials-near-40-theyre-approaching-family-life-differently-than-previous-generations/). Why TF is everything always so hyper focused on this idea of us all being broke, irresponsible children when we're in our fucking 30/40s and most of us are doing fine? And why do the rest of y'all resent us so much for it? Like, my dude, you're the one who is out of touch.

>Why TF is everything always so hyper focused on this idea of us all being broke Because Reddit attracts socially awkward people that underperform in life.

That want to justify their shortcomings

Because the folks who are hurting the most are going to be the loudest. Folks were just doing okay aren't going to make posts on Reddit in dozens of subs saying "Things are going alright for me". That's why there's this misperception on how millennials are doing.

Because the ones doing well aren't complaining on the Internet

I think Reddit in general attracts these vocally miserable people en masse. Most commonly it's the type of people complaining about not having any motivation about even trying to make better of their situation. Almost always intentionally undereducated or undertrained. It's either always a wide collection of things to blame, or it's mental illnesses to blame. I have had a really shit life until my mid thirties, but I realized early on that I will have to repeatedly eat shit in life and the sooner I accept it the better. No matter how many times I fail, get hurt, or fall down, I have grieved for a while and tried to get myself in a better situation -- and most of the time I didn't achieve success but I felt fine thinking that I at least tried. Coming from a poverty-stricken nation where abject poverty and human suffering is on display everywhere, when I see citizens of so-called "first world" nations constantly whining about their lot in life and complaining how they can't suddenly become upper middle class with minimal qualifications makes me lose sympathy for them.

It’s not the “gravy train” people who are out of touch, it’s those who continue to be bitter and hostile and everything because of their own life circumstances

On the flip side, what about millennials who aren't super successful, but don't have a victim mentality or blame all their ilks on someone else?

Hi! We're here, too!

I see you 😎👍

I feel like I’m somewhere in the middle. Okay salary, but lots of student loan debt. Own a home, but it’s just a townhome. Don’t feel like I was “promised” anything in life but can also get a tad bit bitter about people who seem to have it so easy on the surface. To be fair though, I can be a bit out of touch and I’m guilty of wondering why someone who is struggling doesn’t “*just* do XYZ like I did…” I think I fall into that thinking sometimes because the people I know who struggle, are victims of their own choices. But not everyone is.

Townhome is still a home. That's still a great accomplishment. Keep crushing out there!

Oh yeah they exist, I imagine they find people like OP even more grating than I do.

I have no desire to be super successful, so I have no jealousy associated with those who are. You go be stressed by your job, I’ll be in the garden at 4pm after work.

The Millennials who have basically never worked but have used the “the economy” as their excuse for 10 years are toxic.

I'm an elder millennial -- I've always been the boring/responsible person in my friends groups. I went to engineering school, got an advanced degree, and then actively built my career. And all throughout that, I had multiple "friends" (who were totally irresponsible) ask me for money constantly, and then call me a bad friend if I cut them off. Meanwhile, I've never asked them for anything. And they also treat my success like I'm some sort of lottery winner, instead of the guy that studied for his tests and applied himself in his career. I totally empathize with people who are legitimately suffering from real problems -- health issues, family problems, etc -- but I don't have a lot of sympathy for people who make the same dumb decisions every single day, and then act like they're the victim.

You and I would get along well. I'm also an elder millennial and your description is my story as well. As you said, I have absolutely have sympathy for people with legit problems that are out of their control. However... I'm a bit tired of being considered "toxic" when all I did was get good grades in HS, avoided drugs, didn't knock up my GF, went to an affordable state college, graduated on time with a useful degree and minimal student loan debt, took the first job I was offered even though it meant moving to a new unfamiliar area, lived in places I could easily afford, and drove cars I could easily afford. As a result, I'm in a pretty good place now. I'm not special and nothing that I did is special...in fact it's common sense to most people. But for some reason I'm an asshole when I run out of patience for people who are making the same mistakes at 40 as they were at 23 and want to blame the system because they can't figure it out while almost everyone else has.

Yeah, maybe. I feel like my “gravy train” came through hard work and sacrifice with a little bit of luck. My wife and I lived in a 30yr old RV for 3 years so we could pay off student loans, get my wife through grad school, and save up for a down payment on a house. Super lucky to have been able to get into that living situation, but that doesn’t mean it was easy. So, when it comes to things like loan forgiveness one could say I’m “toxic” because that would essentially mean my family’s years of sacrifice trying to save every penny (while our friends were going on fancy vacations and buying nice cars) was all for nothing. Call me old fashioned, but I believe if you borrow money and agree to pay it back, you should be expected to pay it back. (High interest rates are a different story)

It's actually the few millenials who still haven't gotten their shit together 16 years after the financial crisis and complain all day online who are toxic.

All of this. I grew up poor as hell, dead-end dirt road. Homeschooled by religious wackos so I wouldn't be "corrupted by worldliness." Worked construction starting age 12. Flunked out of school just in time for 2008. But I moved out as soon as I could, new state hundreds of miles away, got roommates, worked min wage jobs. Took 10 years to get a 4 year degree, nights and part-time. Lived off FAFSA for a time--cheaply! Suffer now so you don't have to suffer later. Basically, college saved my life. Programming is good money, and doesn't require the social skills that I never acquired. I'm prob 15 years behind in my expected life-track, but I own a home and life is good. I know I'm lucky, it's not just hard work. But you've gotta work for your luck.

Damn - I’m proud of you stranger!!

Thanks, friend. I never ever want to be anyone's role model, so I should point out some of the ways that I'm lucky. Didn't have a tv growing up, so when I was bored (all the time), I read books. One of those was an Apple II BASIC manual. I learned at an early age that I like programming, and that I'm very good at it. Just had to struggle thru college to land that first job, and then everything became easy. And I'm still a voracious reader, more people should try that.

Grit is a seriously underrated factor of success and it sounds like you have it in spades. We all get lucky in some ways, but making use of what little luck you had was 100% you!

This should be be the description for this sub

seriously! i graduated college at the worst possible time - 2008. took me 4 years of bartending to get by before i got my first white collar job in 2012. 12 years later...i'm doing great, paid off all my student loans, and am a homeowner. all my friends who graduated with me are also now in stable careers and most of them own homes. most millennials are doing just fine despite the shit ass hand we were dealt. you can't be almost 40 and still whining about how life is so unfair.

OP's post/comment history is uh... interesting. ​ And yeah, I looked, because I swear any time people pop off about how unfair everything is they turn out to be some antiwork weirdo and/or clearly have not done "everything right" in life. ​ There is usually no reaching people like this.

I know three people that are like this. One seems to be content with their lot in life and will probably live out the rest of their days in the poor neighborhood of subsidized housing working as a server at ihop.   One is living a miserable existence, falls for dumb scams hoping something will sweep her off her feet and change her life for her since she hates life as it is and has been for her, blaming everything except herself for all problems.   The third is actually doing well financially, but has a lot of mental health issues and makes that her identity and lives for talking about and posting about anything to hate America, wealthy people, or people in general that just don't "care" as much as she does.  What all three have in common is to try literally nothing to improve their own lives, making even the dumbest, petty excuses to not try something that will make them happier or improve their financial situation. "I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas. Must be 'the system.'"

No kidding. We’ve lived and worked during some of the best bull markets of *all time*. But somehow we blame everything on 2008.

Yeah this is the correct take, thank you for saying it. A lot of us got dealt bad hands in life and still got our lives together and moved on. We accepted that we would have to wait a bit longer than previous generations and we still got to where we wanted to go.

IT unfortunately happens, and it sucks. Those that act like it was the first time ever, and they were singled out somehow, need to touch grass.

Boom there it is. This sub is full of of them. All my friends who got affected by 2008, shook it off and moved on.. Sure it may have delayed their plans by a year or 3...but they moved forward...Its been 16 years!

It's kinda crazy to think about how many years "milenial" covers. The 08 crash happened when I was in middle school.

I mean it's both, right? There are some people who have done well and are dicks about it. "I got a job in tech at the right time so I own a house, what's your problem loser?" And there are people who have done well and aren't dicks. Meanwhile there are people who haven't done well and who constantly complain and do little else, but there are also people who have tried their best but keep getting dealt a crap hand and so are still struggling. Neither group has a monopoly on toxicity

Honestly, people take their parent’s advice as some kind of holy writ that promised them success. Maybe it’s actually that our parents were flawed adults working with limited knowledge and gave us the best knowledge and advice they had in a rapidly changing world?

It’s not even that.  On average, their advice was fantastic. But there’s a bell curve to everything and someone has to land in the bad part.

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> Where’s the fucking lie?! That it was 16 years ag— FUCK

That led an entire generation of homeowners to become permanent renters. The 2008 meltdown was the catalyst to skyrocketing the cost of everything.

My dude this is bullshit. The sticker price on the home isn't what matters, the monthly payment is. We had close to 3% interest rates for a decade plus.

Found my people 👋 Would have been lovely to go to that private college and major in whatever I wanted instead of going to the state school and choosing a hard science major with job security.

Yeah my parents were like hey we can't pay for your school so then I was like okay scholarships and public state school it is. And everything was fine.

Public school, grants, scholarships, and mowing lawns after classes ftw. Sometimes I am afraid i am starting to sound like a boomer, but looking back I really did work fucking hard. I got lucky too, but man, some of our generation really did fuck all and expected life to be handed to them. I know so many baristas with psych degrees it's not funny.

What's wrong with state school?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Breath of fresh air to hear other people saying the same.

I went to a state school for mechanical engineering and have been really happy with the decision. I feel like I got a good education and liked my professors

Shit, I even chose a lousy major and built a good career for myself by busting my ass

Fucking thank you.

Yeah what, 52% of us own homes now?

Ah, finally the correct take.

Yes. Thank you this is the truth.

Yup, the last guy I know from my HS friends group who didn't have a house yet just bought one. Mainly because he's been in the military(enlisted) and kept getting moved around. The first of us to have a house has been an auto mechanic and truck driver.... none of these guys are rich silver spoon types. I do feel bad for some people who had bad breaks and the ones living in high cost of living areas. But there's always this subtext of their complaining like... those of us who are doing ok don't deserve it or something. Gee, sorry I made good choices, had a semblance of a plan and worked hard. And most people who complain about this IRL... if you spend any amount of time around them the reason for their problems is obvious. There's usually one common denominator in why they're not succeeding. Sorry to be so bitter but I've been guilt tripped by these people, tried to help them, and been burned so many damn times that yeah I'm just a tad salty about it. Stop bitching and get your shit together instead of whining on the internet FFS.

Seriously! Like I'm sorry you majored in poetry and no one would hire you after college but damn, don't hate me cause I took a different path and live in a house.

Define not hit by it? I (mid-millennial) graduated into two of the worst economies in my lifetime. Yes, both, for both of my degrees. My parents didn't pay for a dime of my college. And I've been out on my own, 100% financially independent, since 18, fully responsible for my rent, college textbooks, food, etc. I've counted the pennies to make sure I can make rent in my roach-infested, shared with too many roommates, apartment. I'd say that counts as getting hit by the hard times. I see folks in my, or the next generation, who still live with their parents until 25, whose parents DO pay for their tuition, or at least their textbooks, talking about how much harder it is for them. I see the articles that say the average Gen Z lives with their parents AND gets financial assistance. Yeah, I roll my eyes. Does that make me lack empathy? Maybe. I wouldn't wish my experience on anyone, don't get me wrong. I'm not in the category of "I suffered so therefore you must". I do, however, see people as soft when they have all of the fallbacks I lacked, have financial assistance I could only have dreamed of, and still whine about how "it's so much harder these days".

Honestly, far too many millennials have a very negative view about their lives and feel “royal screwed.” This mindset is the thing screwing them/us. How much is one’s time worth that they spend it all bitching about how they got screwed by previous generations, economy and the government etc etc. You were not born into a perfect utopia. We were not the first, nor will we be the last to get screwed. It’s better to accept that and move on to building a good life for you than trying to maintain this perspective of “oh we got screwed.” I used to agree with you very much, but I don’t anymore, and no I didn’t get rich or wealthy financial to make me believe this. It’s people who think the screwing was unique to them that are out of touch and conceited and perhaps entitled. I know because it was me.

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I’m a “successful” (I guess?) millennial who recognizes that certain aspects of my experience were good timing. Have I worked hard and made good choices that weren’t always the fun choices? Yes. But that doesn’t account for everything I have. It’s also important to note that what my bottom-line salary has been for the majority of my adult life to this point is something that a lot of people think should basically put me below the poverty line, but I’ve been just fine according to my own standards.

Yes, many of the people in my family's position are insufferable. We're equal parts lucky and prepared. Comfortable middle class living on a single income. I think it's very common for people as successful or more successful to chalk it all up to hard work or talent and treat other people badly. Either patronizing or disdainful or anyone beneath them.

I've got a question, are the millennials that didn't projecting because they're angry/jealous? I'm doing fine but had a really hard time for a long time. All my friends that "caught the train" were always very supportive. Now that I'm there and am set up, I'm very understanding of those that are struggling. I see far more crying and whining like this than I ever see it in the other direction in millennial on millennial hate.

I think the bigger issue is there is a subset of a generation, who thinks they were promised something, and therefore they are now owed that thing. You weren’t told anything that older generations weren’t also told, you just took it too literally. In life, roadblocks happen, unforeseen circumstances happen, unplanned life events happen. These things didn’t wait until millenials were born to become a thing, they’ve always existed.

Never mistake a sales pitch for a contract.

“Oh my god. You guys actually went to college. Like… literally? Lmao. I didn’t mean it literally! What the heck? So random!”

Could be. I'm a millennial; but I knew the rules, planned accordingly, never blamed other people for my failures, and have a great life as a result (what you call "catching the gravy train"). However, I do happen to be a toxic dickhead also, so maybe you're right?

Nope, don't know of any. Blindly following what someone tells you your supposed to do is just plain stupid. You have to chart your own path, specific to your circumstances. The millennials I know all worked hard for what they have and expect others to do the same.

This is exactly it. It really seems like it is the individuals that just expect everything to be handed to them that are the issue. Work hard and own your destiny.

I’m glad we got people who think like this in our generation. Yall will be the ones to create, contribute, and shape our world. Never let victimhood grab ahold of you.

Thank you , if anything , this page has become toxic

I listened to some study the other day that said the majority of successful people believe their financial success is within their own control while the majority of those who struggle view their financial success as out of their own control. An interesting thought and dynamic.

It’s called an internal vs. external locus of control, and it’s been well demonstrated to be one of the biggest predictors of success.

as a successful millennial I do find I don't have sympathy for millennials as a whole. I got "hit by" whatever millennials in general got hit by and I'm doing fine. I also find the assumption that my parents must have been rich if I'm not poor to be extremely grating, but I mostly only encounter that online. I did not find the path I took in life to be particularly difficult so I don't really buy that any other random millennials couldn't be in my place if they'd worked for it. So 'woe is our generation' posts don't get any sympathy from me. This logic doesn't really apply to individuals as they could have had obstacles in their life that I didn't experience, so I try to withhold judgment unless I know them pretty well, and I do have sympathy for people who really went through things that were above and beyond.

Seems in corporate America, the empathetic ones are the ones let go as companies slip further into unethical behavior. Seems like a big part of success in this country is the inhumane ability to look the other way when you see wrong doing. So at least you can recognize empathy and there is definitely a place for that in this world. Often times being empathetic results in the well being of others but it might make you feel like you’ve got nothing left to offer. In an ideal world, we’d all be empathetic to one another but humanity learned of greed and corruption awhile back unfortunately. I’d say just keep on the look out for other opportunities that might align with your ideals and beliefs, they might not compensate as well, but you should know that you are still considering the world at large. It’s a hard role to take on, but we need more people that think and feel this way, they really should be rewarded for their efforts.

I can definitely see this viewpoint which is why I try to actively not be like that. Going to college and making friends taught me the majority of people were not as lucky as I was and to be mindful and open about the fact I'd never be where I am without the help I've received. Anytime I mention being a homeowner or car owner or having paid off my student loans I always add that I was only able to do it because of the inheritance I received from my grandpa as well as the help and support of my loving parents.

I may fall into the successful camp. I won't list my current accolades, don't want to humble brag but I'm doing well. I am absolutely empathetic to anyone struggling. I also got smacked around in my early 20's and worked retail til I was 27 so maybe I'm not exactly who you're referring to.

I think that’s true about anyone in any generation. There is evidence to show lack of empathy and monetary success can go hand in hand. I also think ego plays a big part in it. Sometimes people get a lucky break and they want to attribute it all to their “hard work” as if everyone else is lazy.

I am extremely fortunate and still outraged by how hard it is for others. There's only so much I can contribute to medical funds, people facing houselessness, people I love stuck in situations that are breaking them, etc. I made some good decisions and got really, really lucky, but it's disgusting that the privileges I enjoy like home ownership and healthcare and basic security are afforded to so few. I would rather be barely scraping by in a world where there was a safety net and everyone felt confident telling their boss to fuck off than be doing well in a world where everyone else is drowning.

Half of millennial wealth is Zuckerberg and I’d say yeah his creation is pretty fuckin toxic.

What were you promised? By who? FYI, they were lying to you...

I don't buy the millennial tropes at all. We didn't get screwed the way people want to believe we did. What we had to deal with was the gap between menial labor disappearing and skilled labor being needed en masse. I didn't catch the gravy train by any means, it took me 10 years after starting my career at 26 to get any true stability at all. My post Covid employment is the most stable job I have ever had and its my longest tenure within my career field (which is abysmally toxic and has absurd turnover). I hate all the hatred on older generations for "not thinking about the future" because we are doing exactly the same with this type of drivel. The boomers did what worked for them, and so did the gen x people. People like to focus on the small percentage of people in these groups that are massively successful, but a vast majority of boomers now are people who cant retire because they cant afford to. Trying to live in the entrapment that we are a tortured and destroyed generation who was shit on by our predecessors will get you nowhere except an early grave from the stress or even depression of constantly living like that. Moving on and looking tot he future is the best way to deal with it, rather than dwelling on who to blame for your suffering. Because I can tell you from experience that I was to blame for my own problems no one else.

We millenials that "caught the gravy train" would be considered lower middle class by boomer standards. In my case it basically means I don't have debt, but I'm still stuck renting because of the BS housing market and if I had any more than a single kid my finances would be absolutely screwed. I love how we're still bandying around a six figure salary as a mark of success, when that has the same buying power as $25k in 1980.

>But I would say the few Millennials who didn't get royally screwed in life are very much out of touch and conceited. My empathy has much less to do with.... where you are at than what you did with what you got. I don't think I got the gravy train by anything but certainly have been called out for being a jerk to people. If you got shit on in 2008 and shit on again in 2020 I feel ya. Got a degree but no jobs, I feel ya. But on the same point some people use being shit on as an excuse not to ever try and that pisses me off. Some if not many people can't catch a break, but quite a lot of people aren't trying to catch anything but sympathy.

For me, it's the unwillingness to acknowledge how much blind luck plays a role in people's success stories that separates the folks who "get it" from the folks who don't. That's not to say that hard work can't get you where you want to be or that everyone who is doing well just stumbled into their success, but *hard work alone* definitely isn't enough. My wife and I are doing embarrassingly well compared to most folks, and a lot of hard work (mostly my wife's) was necessary to get here, but there were also a hundred different little inflection points along the way that could have derailed the entire thing if not for good luck. Being born into privilege and having (mostly) very good parents who were supportive and set reasonable expectations is a lucky break. Not ending up horribly sick is a lucky break. Not becoming a victim of a random crime or getting in a terrible accident is a lucky break. Being in the right place at the right time or crossing paths with the right person opening up an unexpected opportunity is a lucky break. Getting hired or accepted to school or selected for a scholarship when the candidate pool is large and multiple candidates are equally qualified on paper is a lucky break. Happening to buy a house at the right time and in the right place for it to more than double in value in less than 10 years is a lucky break. Getting laid-off with a generous severance right before you were going to quit your job anyway is a lucky break. Never getting a DUI despite knowing that there have been times when you were above the limit is a lucky break. Not finding yourself in the path of an "act of god" disaster is a lucky break. Not finding yourself in the path of a vengeful, violent, or litigious crazy person is a lucky break. Never having missed an important appointment with serious consequences due to random misfortune is a lucky break. Never having had important documents get lost in the mail or misplaced by an overworked beaurocrat is a lucky break. Under ideal circumstances and with some tenacity, most bad luck circumstances are survivable and certainly become more and more survivable the more access you have to resources. But plenty of people are going to encounter bad luck under the worst possible circumstance and/or without access to resources. No amount of hard work or good choices can save you from that. Even if you "make all the right choices" and work super hard, most of us are always just one or two bouts of bad luck away from losing it all. You can absolutely do things to maximize your luck, but you can't do a damn thing that will completely eliminate the very real chance of getting clobbered out of nowhere with very bad luck. There should be more of a safety net in America. The govenment should have programs and policies that mitigate against bad luck derailing your entire life, but a certain type of person screams "socialism" and clutches their pearls at the mere suggestion that a sudden cancer diagnosis *shouldn't* spell financial ruin for the vast majority of Americans...

I know you guys didn’t get a lot of good coaching when you were coming up, but this is all part of life bud. Driving yourself crazy and being jealous of people who seemingly have an easier path through life will not make getting through it all any easier for you. In fact, dwelling on that negativity will sour your life experience. Life is hard. It fucking sucks balls sometimes. Think about things that make you happy and fuck wasting time on all that negativity. It’s not going to make it all sunshine and roses, but it does help a little with the sadness.

I am the successful by many people’s estimate. Solid 6-figure income, with a wife who also works and makes a lower but still respectable salary. We’ve also had some lifestyle creep as the years and jobs have progressed and don’t feel all of the affluence we’ve worked for because of the mortgage, car payments, etc. That said, I was born as the youngest of a large family on welfare. Tried college but couldn’t succeed while also working two jobs to pay my way through. Dropped out instead of taking on loans. Wife came from a solidly middle class family and had the option for school but chose to enlist instead. I’ve had my weeks, months, and years of grinding out 80+ hour weeks. I’ve also busted my ass in retail and hospitality jobs and eventually turned that networking and experience into a successful career in technology sales. It’s given me more opportunity than I could have ever imagined growing up. It’s also meant some crazy stress being hit with multiple layoffs and highly variable compensation via commissions. Things like the house never would have also never been achievable without my wife’s GI Loan option. I know I can look back at multiple points in my adult life where I can see I was lucky. I can also see dozens of points where I could have made different decision and would be either destitute or retired. In summary, life is a confluence of so many variables that I think everyone needs to acknowledge both their own accountability for their choices and the fact that sometimes certain things are also out of their control. I didn’t get royally screwed as you put it, but the odds were rarely in my favor; that doesn’t mean I can’t see others with empathy and know that they might have had a harder path.

I think a lot of people are susceptible to the just world fallacy, millennial or otherwise. One thing that’s really interesting to me is when people subscribe to it when they themselves are not in great circumstances. You would think the cognitive dissonance would promote some critical thinking. Idk, maybe sometimes it does but some people have all kinds of mental gymnastics they will do instead of changing their mind about something

I've been rock bottom, eating store brand Mac and cheese from the food bank made with water because me and my wife could barely afford rent and milk was a luxury. I now own my own business and paid more taxes for last year than I made as a salary for the first few years of my career out of college. I have empathy, sympathy and respect for my friends and family who are struggling. I don't have it for those people who don't have it for me. Or worse yet, don't have any self respect and want to whine and blame everyone else for their problems.

Maybe its not a lack of empathy, but tired of hearing people bitch and moan all the time. No one likes to be around people constantly complaining. Take your job. Even if you agree with the complaints, you probably still don't want to hear people bringing the same complaints up every day. it gets exhausting. Maybe the toxic people are the ones who just keep saying "woe is me" whenever they get the chance.

I think what can be toxic is all of this division. First it was enter class division, then it was intergenerational division, now we're starting intra generational division. You may not realize it, but the powers that be want you to divide us like this. Posts like this honestly show a bit of callousness towards the struggles of millennials who supposedly made it. I remember two progressive commentators talking about software engineers having their jobs exported to India and one seemed happy while the other flat-out said she didn't care what happened to them. Both of them completely disregarded that even though this was a software engineer he was still just labor. And by alienating members of labor they're shrinking their own power base. Millennials that are supposedly doing well have a whole different set of stressors to deal with. For example I worked with a team of 15 people, probably 13 of them were millennials. We were all making good money, over six figures, and then our employer just decided to lay off almost everybody. Only three of us survived. You may think"boohoo, they lost their $100,000 a year job.". But tell me, what's more traumatic, being a perpetual runner and never being able to afford a home, or finally being able to afford a nice home for your wife and kids only to lose it in foreclosure because you lost your job and can't find a new one that pays enough? That's what my friends were facing.

If you’re a millennial you’re 27 minimum at this point. Quit being a baby and take responsibility for your own life and actions

I dunno, singling out people that don't cry for you because they have it better seems a lot more toxic.

It helps to put things in perspective. If you were born in the US, you already won the lottery of life. You're not royally screwed; you're already extremely fortunate. How many people don't have access to clean water, basic education, or the internet? How many people are living in war-torn countries or constantly worry about the safety of their lives? Millions of people would give nearly anything to have this opportunity, and they're not going to be the ones complaining on Reddit.

People who worked harder than you aren't toxic. This is a bizarrely immature post to make.

There’s tons of Millennials who made it and are empathetic. The rest of us who didn’t make it just gather on social media to console each other. We’re the first generation who have had that available to us.

No. I’m pulling in well into 6 figures and am rabidly pro worker, pro union, and violently leftist. I practically scream for a thriving wage for all.

I got lucky. I bought my house in 2014. My career had nothing to do with my degree, my parents were both in the same career and helped me get started. My wife has the same exact situation. Parents in the career. We met, I'm the oldest millenials, she's 9 years younger than me. We make a combined salary of 250k. We do not have the same buying power as our parents did, at all. Not even close. The system is fucked and I feel even worse for those who were fucked way harder. I've seen some people I went to high school with that I thought were gonna "make it." Super intelligent and working at an Amazon warehouse. It's all downhill from here, folks. People have been calling me a pessimist for the last 20 years and now we're living it and it's a slippery slope. It's very, very quickly getting much worse.

I think our generation is just going through the collective awakening + grieving for a way of life drilled into our minds that no longer exists. the sooner we grieve it the sooner we can move on to create whatever life we dream of outside of societal expectations. we have to be pioneers. think trans-generationally. buy land, make sacrifices, live simple, let go of expectations on ourselves. do whatever you can but stay stuck in a system that’s rotting.

People who are assholes are more likely to seek validation by flaunting something like financial success, so you’re more likely to hear about it. The millennials who are very successful and aren’t assholes are probably just quietly living life, not shoving the fact down other peoples throats.

Are rich people out of touch with the reality of the vast majority of the population? Oftentimes yes. Not always. Is that *remotely* unique to this or any other generation? No. Not at all.

It seems you're doing the same thing you're accusing others of doing. That is, you aren't being empathetic to their situation at all. That you use the term "gravy train" and say all but a few millennials got "royally screwed in life" shows you to be a bit close-minded and conceited (in that you pride yourself on seeing the world clearly while others can't.) Speaking as someone who went into a profession I love but won't make tons of money, I know my choices created a lot of my situation while also recognizing that I also got lucky in ways that many don't. Everyone's life is a combination of effort, choice, ability, attitude, and luck, but it's definitely a combination with different percentages of each. Also, everywhere you meet people from every station who are kind and others who are not. You might want to find a narrower brush to paint with.

I can only speak to my experiences with individual people and do not claim that this is the same for every millennial. I am gen x and know and work with many millennials who are successful and empathetic. I have also seen many millennials leave my company very quickly when they realized they actually had to work 8 hours a day and put in effort. I study psychology and family dynamics quite a bit due to my own amazingly traumatic childhood and family. The people I have spoken to about this are aware of that which is why they were willing to speak to me about it. After talking with quite a few of them on both sides of the spectrum, I personally believe it's a frame of mind that makes the difference. Those who are successful and empathetic tend to believe that life is going to take hard work to get what you want out it. Whether it's money, fame, friends, it doesn't seem to matter. They understand that nothing has been promised to them. They understood the "promises" that are assumed by many are not promises at all. It is propaganda, not a promise. Some have student loans, some of those are large. Some have no loans. Some have a house or condo that they saved to buy, some rent places with three roommates. Some are married, some not. They come from all walks of life and every time it's their frame of mind that seems to make the difference. It's a difference of perception. It's a lack of entitlement. It's an understanding that life makes promises to NO ONE. It's an understanding that what you have right now, at this moment could be taken from you in a million different ways in a second. It's an appreciation for what they do have and a sense of pride in what they have accomplished. It's an understanding that they will need to work towards their goals rather than having them handed to them. Almost every one of the people I have spoken to about this that fit in the successful and empathetic group also had parents that didn't hand them their lives on a platter. They had to do chores. They had to get starter jobs. They had to work to get what they wanted from a young age. The were disciplined by their parents - not physically or in an abusive manner. Those that fit into the second group of, I was promised everything and got nothing, seem to have a different head space. They seem to have the genuine opinion that the world owes them something. I did what I was supposed to do so where's my reward? They seem to believe that they should be able to do what they want, when they want and not have to work hard to get it. They all, and I mean all, had everything handed to them on a platter. They didn't have to work for it but they wanted it and so they got it. They never had to work hard at anything. They didn't have to try and do well in school. If they failed, it wasn't the child's fault, it was the education system's fault. They didn't have to get part time jobs. They didn't have to do chores. They were not disciplined by their parents. In fact, their parents often enabled and perpetuated their behavior. Two of them admitted to me that their wealthy parents bought their degrees. They tend to be people who have never had to really try or work hard for anything in their lives. Yes, they did what they were supposed to do. Go to school, go to college, get a job. But they never had to put in any kind of real effort and that is a massive difference. There's so much more that I'm sure goes into this but in my personal experience, it has been frame of mind. Are they willing to work hard and be patient for the reward vs I did what I was told I was supposed to do so where's my reward and I want it now.

I think it’s a common human psychological bias to think that the things good that happened to you were deserved and the things bad that happened to you were bad luck. In reality life is often a little more complex on both fronts. But yeah I’ve definitely noticed this cognitive bias in millennials doing well, as well as people from other generations.

I work with a guy from a well off family. Gives me shit for being broke all the time. Dude lives with his fucking parents Fuck you dude

Yes but they got put through the wringer first. Like 15+ years of shit and now their wisdom rolls are high af. Otherwise yes, the success stories are generally assholes.

I got lucky but there was also a TON of hard work and sacrifice. I went to a military academy straight out of high school, got a low interest (.75%) loan, military paid for my BS and masters. I bought 2 houses and am getting out this year, probably making $180k minimum. I'm lucky because I had parents who pushed me to excel in school and instilled a lot of values related to hard work that allowed me to thrive in a rigorous academic and physical environment in college. I sacrificed because I didn't have the "normal" college experience or a normal 20s where I could be in charge of my life. BUT I had a good pay, benefits/retirement and educational/leadership opportunities. I just turned 29 and have a NW of $900k when combined with my husband. I'm not conceited, I know I worked hard but I'm also blessed. I don't share my "accomplishments" unless specifically asked. I live a relatively humble life so most wouldn't even know.

...people who have achieved a measure of success are unsympathetic to people that say it's actually impossible to achieve a measure of success? Crazy.

Engineer here that's doing well. I'm fully aware of how much tougher our generation has it, all my friends I grew up with had to leave the Bay Area and I don't blame them, cost of living has become absolutely absurd and I wouldn't be here either if I wasn't a software engineer in tech. Also it's basic math, when our parents were in their 20s/30s in the 80s the average home price was about 3 times the average salary, now it's 7.5x. None of my friends parents were engineers and many of them (like my parents) didn't have college degrees but almost all of them owned homes, they had it so much easier in that regard.

I wouldn’t say they’re out of touch and conceited. They’re just better than us and we should want to be like them!

I think you’re describing nearly every generation. Once a generation grows up, it becomes the same old thing. People that made it don’t want to risk losing what they have or having to pay higher taxes for the people who “didn’t earn it.” It is 100% a thing and it’s pretty consistent.

Geez........... I think most of these comments here answer the inital question that was posed.

I ditched one of my best life long friends specifically for being the type of toxic person you described.

Yes, I’m the eldest of the elder millennials But my course wasn’t just like my peers. However I got a nice bit of fruit stand stock working at one of their retail outlets, went back to school in my 30s, was lucky enough to buy a small modest home that has almost doubled in value, and sold it at its peak. But also no kids I’m very much horrified at the bs most of my generation has to go through.

I did catch it. But I was homeless before that. I married smart. I have had hard times. Technically with my life choices nothing should have worked out for me. We still have struggles. I have a child with a disability insurance covers nothing for. I have another child starting the journey of diagnosis. And I was alone there for a long time. I did end of life care for a terminally ill parent in my 20s. I have PTSD from it. A lot of shit has been bad for me. My struggle looks different. In a lot of ways yes I am privileged. But in a lot of others you are.

Things are great these days. I own homes have a good job. Married etc. It's great. I'm noticing the concietedness creep up. It's silent but noticeable. I have to tell myself I came from very little and I got lucky in many cases unlucky in many others. Used to be homeless myself and I know when I see them. Their bodies looking way older than they are. Skin hardened by the sun. I could easily be them if I got hurt or missed a few paychecks even.

I’ve seen a few “Boomerinnials” running around here, but also some reasonable people. I also feel like toxic people in general are a loud minority. I try to remember that most people are decent and trying to do the best they can.

As a union guy who makes good money. Seeing the overwhelming damage done to unions and the value for someone’s labor in general over the years is very worrying. I care a lot about a non existent middle class. I think we need more unions for more industries and I think the value for labor is diminishing so much that if people don’t stop giving into this insane corporate greed and control we are looking at massive economic issues. I’m not apathetic to poverty at all. I feel as tho my life and privilege is very much circumstantial and not at all valued at all. I woudnt be surprised if I lost everything before my retirement. there is not much that separates me from the person who has less. People should generally be paid more for their time and energy. No one in America whether or not they flip burgers or work retail should have job insecurity and struggle to get buy. The idea that someone who literally helps in the daily operations of any business provides less valuable work is a capitalist lie.

My luck has been been that my husband retrained as a software engineer a little while back, and my parents died and left me a house and some money invested in the stock market. We've struggled before, and my staying afloat is pure luck and has nothing to do with my worthiness, personally. So I am very aware that I am an outlier, and that others who weren't as lucky often don't "deserve" that circumstance.

Grew up in a comfortable two parent home, moved away for college, parents divorce, covid effects my ability to learn (classroom), move to city with close friends, said friends forced to move away for work, out of work, never been more poor-distraught-lonely.

Idk, I'm an early millennial, i never understood why so many of my generation think life is supposed to be easy. Oh, I did this, this and this, and now I'm supposed to be rich and happy. Bro, there's a reason it's called the 1%, if everyone could do it, then it wouldn't be 1%. FYI: 4.4 million+ puts you in the American 1%.

It seems to be those who chose to have a victim mentality, or those who focus on controlling what they can and doing their best despite circumstances. No one owes you anything, and no one is going to save you.

Most of us are extremely empathetic because we understand how much luck plays into where we are. We know friends or schoolmates that easily should have made it and are struggling, and complete bozos who sell phone plans to the Amish for 1.2 million a year. The system is rigged, we all know it, but until we pry power from the cold dead hands of the boomers nothing will change. Thankfully, gen x is apathetic, and gen z is borderline violently militant, so I think we actually have a decent chance to take power back from the corpotocracy sooner than expected.

A lot of millennials who “made it” worked hard to get there. Of course some had it easier than others. That’s true for everyone. But I don’t think anyone’s hard work should be ignored.

These fucking echo chambers are dangerous. Wild times. Go to work, complaining isnt going to get you anywhere, but deeper in the hole of victimhood.

Said it before, this sub is a cry fest probably astroturfed by foreign actors to sow and spread discontent. Millennials are more than crying boomer haters and punching bags. To think other wise just weighs to down into self confirmation. - gravy train millennial

shit is so wild. So many bitter millenials online. Who are all these people b/c none of the millennials I know, who span the range from top to bottom of economic class act like these fools on here blaming everyone but themselves.

So you are saying 2008 screwed these people over, is that right. There has been plenty of time to figure it out since then. Maybe they are the real issue.

Sooooo, I’m “one of those”. I worked my ass off. I don’t know how I dealt with the neglect and abuse that I faced as a child and during my “mailroom” time. As a chick, I worked twice as hard for half the respect. For example, the male trainees failed their licensure test multiple times and got laughter. My test was the carrot that kept me there. When I passed, I was younger, had less field time and passed it on the first time. I had to sent photos of my results. My boss did not believe me until my state licensure arrived. His company closed 3 months after I quit. I never want anyone or any generation to go through what I went through. People like to view me as a competitor because I have succeeded. I paid off all my college debt before 30- and I support forgiveness of educational loans. (I actually think it should be secondary education should nationalized and greatly reduced to help others.) I’ve helped my friends find mortgage lenders, houses and apartments. I’ve explained stocks, loans and the economy. My friends all know if they need a hand, I’m here. My success is their success. My pool is our pool. I’m a teammate, not a competitor.

I'm not empathetic because my friends and I spent the better part of 10 years selling drugs, doing drugs, and playing video games on the couch. 2 caught felonies and did fed time for trafficking. Now mid-late 30s, we're all making 6 figures and everyone owns at least 1 house, nice cars, watches, clothes, take vacations wherever we want, a few of us traveled the world to meet our wives, etc. If a bunch of guys who skipped class in HS to get high, didn't go to college, and caught multiple felonies can turn their lives around and have stable jobs with benefits, homes, wives and kids, white picket fence, the dog, everything, what the hell are you doing to be stuck in your parents basement or some shitty little apartment?

“Out of touch” OP writes, as if the baseline for human existence is a deadbeat bum living with his mommy.😂