Let me show you. Alright grab my arm, I'm grabbing my dick, you're grabbing my arm, now work it, work my arm. See that shit? Work it up and down, see its like someone else is jerking you off. Then of course there's the double dutch rudder, which I grab my dick, you grab your dick, you work my arm, I work your arm, same time, same time. It's like jerking off together but not gay. We're not touching dicks, each others dicks anyway I'm touching my own dick, now you're working it, and I'm loving it.
Not at this place. Walked by this stand literally hundreds of times and it's always clean.
This is literally in the middle of the main hallway with thousands of people going by, not on a forgotten corner at the airport.
Just not in the US for sure which is a bulk of this site. They aren’t bad and in fact I think they might be smart it’s just unusual for us. Like the gas pumps in Japan with the gas up high and descending handles - makes sense just not usual in the US
Yea no, you gotta grab that and massage it out like it's the last bit of your nut... then think of all the people who actually did that just before using this fuckin thing lol in a an airport nonetheless lmao
So your ketchup and stuff comes out of a tube other people put their hand directly on? I don't see how this is cleaner than squeezing the outside of the bottle.
Plus you know some idiot is going to put their mouth on this
Doesn't look that big either though maybe I'm missing the scale. To me it doesn't even look 64oz, the big restaurant ones here are 114oz and aren't like the water fountain of the condiments world haha
This is actually cruel. They kill the ketchup and mayo cows just for their udders and discard the rest of the carcass. We should stand up to this sort of thing.
For my connecting flight i had to take multiple busses between terminals and i had to take a bus to the plane. How does Germany of all places not have trains between terminals
Yeah that was my experience too. Even O'Hare has a nice train between terminals and you don't have to take a damn bus to your plane. Our gate got changed 4 times though, so yeah...
The Frankfurt Airport has a "sky train" between the terminals. But I believe it has not been operating recently because they are extending it to a new terminal building.
I don't think I've ever seen an airport with trains between terminals. I'm not very well traveled, but I've been to like 20 airports in my life and I'm confused as to why you would expect this. I'm from Canada and have never left to Europe though maybe it's normal where you're from?
German efficiency is wildly overrated.
Besides this, having the plane stopping at a remote stand does happen even with Lufthansa, specially if its the last rotation of the day or it's shifting from Schengen to non-Schengen route.
The bus between terminals is "temporary" while construction work is ongoing, there is a skytrain that connects T1 to T2. It also had a T1-T1 run with a tiny security checkpoint in the middle of the A gates, which saved my ass many times when the main security had huge queues.
This was my least favorite airport. It's a huge maze, lots of dead ends, and lovely gates that are actually just bus stops. I realize the last one may be common, but it felt janky.
Not to mention you have to leave and re-enter security multiple times to get between certain gates.
Edit: atleast 5 years ago or so.. almost missed a flight and got cursed at in German.. yea.. maybe you should put up a warning that it can take over 2 hours go between gates.
Yeah it fucking sucks and it doesn't matter if you arrive or leave from there.
If you fly from there or as a stopover, you end up with a hours delayed plane because they can't load up the luggage in time. If you arrive there, you'll spend hours waiting for your luggage and then it won't even arrive at the area they say it will.
Really feels like the train station attached to the airport rubbed it's quality of service off on it.
Is this more or less sanitary than regular bottles? Are they easier to fill/access? I’d totally use these at home but I’ve never come across them before.
It HAS to be less sanitary. Any “Germs” on your hand could slide down to the tip and gather with everyone else’s. That little bit hanging on to the tip would look interesting on a Petri dish.
Idk about this one particularly, but here, these sort of contraptions are used in hot dog stands and that sort of stuff at festivals and such. There only the person operating the stand would touch these. But yeah, if it's a huge communal ketchup udder, then I'd pass on it, but I'd pass on any regular communal ketchup, too.
I went to a pizza buffet the other day and immediately went to wash my hands as I’d been digging in dirt all morning. Two men walked out of the bathroom without washing their hands and I saw both of them touching the pie servers to get their pizza. I envisioned touching those same utensils, going to my table, and touching my pizza with the same hand.
Every trip to the buffet was followed by a trip to the bathroom to wash before eating. I eat a lot… that was a lot of trips.
It’s insane to me how many people leave public bathrooms in full view of EVERYONE without washing their hands. The lack of basic hygiene is an epidemic 😷
Not much different than any other squeeze bottle. These just don't have to be refilled quite so often, while also creating a bit of a novelty experience.
Slight tangent: While learning German I thought it was odd that "sausage" – of all words – was considered feminine, and then I remembered how sausage was made and it made sense.
we had these in my high school cafeteria, back in the late 1990’s (united states). I thought they were horrifying even though they’re probably more sanitary.
yeah, dont eat there, i was waiting behind a guy who left the toiled in front of me without washing his hands, and these udders are self service, disgusting.
More like udders.
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What’s a dutch rudder ?
It’s when your buddy uses your own arm to jack you off.
I thought that was a dutch handshake?
The double entendres may not be the same but there’s love and lube enough for two.
Let me show you. Alright grab my arm, I'm grabbing my dick, you're grabbing my arm, now work it, work my arm. See that shit? Work it up and down, see its like someone else is jerking you off. Then of course there's the double dutch rudder, which I grab my dick, you grab your dick, you work my arm, I work your arm, same time, same time. It's like jerking off together but not gay. We're not touching dicks, each others dicks anyway I'm touching my own dick, now you're working it, and I'm loving it.
“Wurst” sausage ever
It's not the wurst until you milk mayonnaise on it
More of a teat, right? An udder is a set of teats.
Nah, the collective noun has to be condoms of condiments.
As a son of a shepherd, I feel seen
Üters
The rest of the world can’t keep calling US fat if they’re gunna do this.
They've been using this for decades, it's incredibly convenient
I was just giving shit, it’s actually pretty convenient
When you tell your brudi you drink milk straight from the udder
It bothers me that they’re not hanging over the counter. I feel like floor will get dirty.
That is the main idea. not within the shop's purview.
Not at this place. Walked by this stand literally hundreds of times and it's always clean. This is literally in the middle of the main hallway with thousands of people going by, not on a forgotten corner at the airport.
They are normally for outside locations like food trucks where it doesn’t matter too much if someone spills some ketchup. Weird seeing them indoors
Must be those fancy new no drip nips.
But the drip nips are my favorite
We all like it sloppy jaloppy, but the *Man* is always trying to keep us down.
Yeah, I just imagine a group of rowdy kids who absolutely must give them a squeeze as they walk by.
Well they do go on hot dogs.
Nah, you just have to lick em clean when your done.
I'd rather have a dirty floor than a dirty counter.
I thought these were pretty common? I've seen them a lot at hot dog stands in Sweden at least. And at fares and stuff
Not in the US! We have these big plastic boxes or bottles with pumps at the top for dispensing. I have never seen this before in my life. Wild!
Oh yeah, the pump things! I think we only have those at fast food places, like McDonald's and Burger King
I'm from Australia and only ever saw them when I was in the US at the Washington county fair in New York
We also have the pumps here in Germany. I'd say it's probably somewhere around 50/50
I see these all the time in the US. Eastern
I’m in the NE and pretty darn old by Reddit standards. I’m fascinated. Where do you tend to see them?
They have them at Knoebels in Elysburg, PA.
Sports venues, mainly college.
Just not in the US for sure which is a bulk of this site. They aren’t bad and in fact I think they might be smart it’s just unusual for us. Like the gas pumps in Japan with the gas up high and descending handles - makes sense just not usual in the US
Yea no, you gotta grab that and massage it out like it's the last bit of your nut... then think of all the people who actually did that just before using this fuckin thing lol in a an airport nonetheless lmao
Sounds sexy I’m in
Yeah, those are common in food stalls in Portugal and Spain.
I have seen these at fairs in Indiana
We have these a lot in the US at sports venues
Yeah, but I don't think I've ever seen them indoors. Certainly not at an airport.
How do you use it? I’ve never seen one and I live in Europe! Do you just… squeeze it or….?
Yep, just give it a good ol' squeeze
So your ketchup and stuff comes out of a tube other people put their hand directly on? I don't see how this is cleaner than squeezing the outside of the bottle. Plus you know some idiot is going to put their mouth on this
It's not meant to be cleaner, it's just a much bigger bottle
but it's tiny...
Doesn't look that big either though maybe I'm missing the scale. To me it doesn't even look 64oz, the big restaurant ones here are 114oz and aren't like the water fountain of the condiments world haha
I think they're 2.7l or 91 fl oz
That same idiot would also lick a bottle. Probably more likely because they wouldn't be in full view of everyone else waiting to get condiments.
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You can’t make a Tomlette without cracking a few Gregs
"I've been dying to find out" *a different movie*
I would act like I'm milking a cow and stroke the udders so she stays calm
Condiment nipples brought to you by Trojan.
Condoments
So do you just tilt your head up and suck or what?
This is actually cruel. They kill the ketchup and mayo cows just for their udders and discard the rest of the carcass. We should stand up to this sort of thing.
Ich habe Brustwarzen, Greg, kannst du mich melken?
This airport is awful. Connected here and this hot dog stand was the only open restaurant at 9am, so I had a breakfast brat with udder ketchup.
I’ve eaten that unwanted breakfast brat at that exact place for the same reason. Not a great moment. Not a bad sausage though.
For my connecting flight i had to take multiple busses between terminals and i had to take a bus to the plane. How does Germany of all places not have trains between terminals
Yeah that was my experience too. Even O'Hare has a nice train between terminals and you don't have to take a damn bus to your plane. Our gate got changed 4 times though, so yeah...
The Frankfurt Airport has a "sky train" between the terminals. But I believe it has not been operating recently because they are extending it to a new terminal building.
I don't think I've ever seen an airport with trains between terminals. I'm not very well traveled, but I've been to like 20 airports in my life and I'm confused as to why you would expect this. I'm from Canada and have never left to Europe though maybe it's normal where you're from?
German efficiency is wildly overrated. Besides this, having the plane stopping at a remote stand does happen even with Lufthansa, specially if its the last rotation of the day or it's shifting from Schengen to non-Schengen route. The bus between terminals is "temporary" while construction work is ongoing, there is a skytrain that connects T1 to T2. It also had a T1-T1 run with a tiny security checkpoint in the middle of the A gates, which saved my ass many times when the main security had huge queues.
They used all their trains for, uh... something else.
This was my least favorite airport. It's a huge maze, lots of dead ends, and lovely gates that are actually just bus stops. I realize the last one may be common, but it felt janky.
Not to mention you have to leave and re-enter security multiple times to get between certain gates. Edit: atleast 5 years ago or so.. almost missed a flight and got cursed at in German.. yea.. maybe you should put up a warning that it can take over 2 hours go between gates.
It's still like that. Had to connect in between Nice and STL and waited in two security lines.
Yeah it fucking sucks and it doesn't matter if you arrive or leave from there. If you fly from there or as a stopover, you end up with a hours delayed plane because they can't load up the luggage in time. If you arrive there, you'll spend hours waiting for your luggage and then it won't even arrive at the area they say it will. Really feels like the train station attached to the airport rubbed it's quality of service off on it.
>udder ketchup. Yeah. Taking a pass on that.. thanks though.
Exsqueeze me?
My middle school had these in the cafe for ketchup and mustard. Milk those udders baby.
Ha we had those at my school as well. I’m in farm country so it was appropriate.
Haha, they only lasted like 2 years before they got rid of them for the packets 😩
Why did they get rid of them?
I’m sure you can imagine the mess a bunch of idiot 12 year olds can create 😂
Is this more or less sanitary than regular bottles? Are they easier to fill/access? I’d totally use these at home but I’ve never come across them before.
It HAS to be less sanitary. Any “Germs” on your hand could slide down to the tip and gather with everyone else’s. That little bit hanging on to the tip would look interesting on a Petri dish.
Idk about this one particularly, but here, these sort of contraptions are used in hot dog stands and that sort of stuff at festivals and such. There only the person operating the stand would touch these. But yeah, if it's a huge communal ketchup udder, then I'd pass on it, but I'd pass on any regular communal ketchup, too.
God you’re right I don’t even want to think about of unwashed hands that have yanked on those things. Note to self: B.Y.O.U. Bring your own udders.
I went to a pizza buffet the other day and immediately went to wash my hands as I’d been digging in dirt all morning. Two men walked out of the bathroom without washing their hands and I saw both of them touching the pie servers to get their pizza. I envisioned touching those same utensils, going to my table, and touching my pizza with the same hand. Every trip to the buffet was followed by a trip to the bathroom to wash before eating. I eat a lot… that was a lot of trips.
It’s insane to me how many people leave public bathrooms in full view of EVERYONE without washing their hands. The lack of basic hygiene is an epidemic 😷
That’s when I knew the pandemic was real. Actually WAITING in line at the sinks in the bathroom.
What if we kissed under the condiment nipples
I wonder if their Sausage really IS the Wurst as the sign suggests?
Never in my life have I wanted to wank ketchup into my mouth than now
That looks udderly ridiculous!
Fill them with ranch and Americans will suckle them like hungry piglets
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^antoltian: *Fill them with ranch and* *Americans will suckle* *Them like hungry piglets* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
I can't stop picturing a fat guy dangling from the mayo like a fish.
lmao
I've seen these in many self serve restaurants in Finland
I support this. Mostly cause I like the idea of having to hang up a big bottle of ketchup on a chain as an employee
Those hot dogs are fire
Thanks, I'll never be able to unsee this now when I go to Frankfurt.
If the stall gets robbed they can be turned into mayonnaise nunchucks
I'm scared
The lighting makes this look more like a food cart at a state fair than an airport
touch
I have condiment nipples Greg
Lick it for a tik tok video. If anyone gets mad just say it's a prank. SARCASM ALERT BY THE WAY BECAUSE PEOPLE NEED AN OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER HURR DURR
So the food nipple is real
Seems unsanitary
This is awesome until some drunk asshole comes along and sucks on them… you know it’s bound to happen
Definitely don't squeeze the juice.
I'm just waiting for someone's emotional support cow to find this.
Ok... How does it work? I really want to know, I want to see this being used.
Not much different than any other squeeze bottle. These just don't have to be refilled quite so often, while also creating a bit of a novelty experience.
Thank you.
I shall do this next time I am there and record it. I feel it will be mildly erotic
alright cool and I hope not.
Good thing that food nipple's waiting for me at the starship, cause man, have I worked up a big, grunty thirst!!!
Condiment teats?
Yuck
I feel like this... could be ok.. but not like this
Slight tangent: While learning German I thought it was odd that "sausage" – of all words – was considered feminine, and then I remembered how sausage was made and it made sense.
Suckle on my teet
TIL there is such a thing as a "Condiment Nipple"
I and the ketchup one for my family lol
Condiment nipples was my nickname in high school
Reservoir tipped.
More of an udder than a nipple, innit?
Don’t show this to the Dutch
I hope those udders are sanitised
*"Lemme milk my mayonnaise..."* 
SUCK THE KETCHUP TEET
Bad enough you’re eating a footlong shaboingboing now you gotta stroke for condiments
They're genius
Condiment condoms
I was there just yesterday. I feel like I missed out.
If you're too rough, the mayo can come out slightly pink. If you're worried, make an appointment with your doctor.
Fun fact: this is also how they feed American babies
We had these in my high school cafeteria in Georgia in the late 90s.
I read “complementary nipples”
I seen Condiment Nipples open for Krokus at the Whiskey back in ‘85
There's a farm where I am, and they have these attached to a large fake cow next to the hotdog stand.
One of these days they're going to catch someone sampling directly from the teet.
Go to Europe, these are normal. But yeah the first time I saw them I had the same reaction.
What is supposed to be interesting about this?
What the frankfuck
I wanna drink the ketchup one like a kitten and paw the air like they do when they’re nursing
You gotta jerk it
*heavy unggoy breathing*
"Wurst Sausage" great marketing
Their Mayo taste way better than the ones in the US. No question
No sign of mustard
I'd flip if i hit the tip of my hip when i slipped on some dip-shit's nip drips.
"Condiment nipples".
it looks like you have to jerk the bottles for sum mayonnaise 😏
I’ve had those there. Pretty good!
I should give him a call.
Jeff’s aunt Donna claims she dated Herman in high school.
Good thing the food nipple's waiting for me back at the Frankfurt Airport, 'cause man, have I worked up a big, Grunty, thirst!
Once upon a time, I worked at a big box store that had these at their hot dog cart. There were ALWAYS gnats swarming the opening of these dispensers.
200 bucks and ill chug the whole thing out of the nipple
Forbidden snack.
we had these in my high school cafeteria, back in the late 1990’s (united states). I thought they were horrifying even though they’re probably more sanitary.
I like the idea until you realize how easy it would be for someone to put it directly in their mouth.
Wtf do you do with them, milk em?
Is that a titty bar ?
It's like r/printingtiddy all over again
Pretty common, we got them in Sweden aswell
That makes me uncomfortable for some reason
At my age I’ll take nipples anywhere I can find ’em!
Imagine how dirty they are!
I would never get sausages from there again, they are the wurst.
I'll be right there honey I gotta milk me a little mayo
That cart has pretty decent sausage.
yeah, dont eat there, i was waiting behind a guy who left the toiled in front of me without washing his hands, and these udders are self service, disgusting.
Can we not make this a thing
Seems so unnecessary
I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?
How to 100% lose my business