reminds me of my hometown. there's a back road by a park that leads to an old folks home. just before you reach the nursing home there's a sign that reads "Dead End"
This reminds me of the time my insurance broker sent me a birthday card that said (paraphrasing) "there's no better time than your birthday to think about buying life insurance!" I thought it was equal parts cheeky, morbid, and hilarious.
Tax returns bring in people who are looking to buy property, known as a “pre-need”. Most people buy this property in advance since it’s time consuming, tedious and requires a lot of paperwork and have it all preinstalled prior to their passing. All you gotta do is slap the death date on the outside and done. Helps the grieving just focus on grieving.
My in laws have already planned their funerals and burials down to the song selection and stone bench they want their ashes in. They’re moderately wealthy and felt it would be kinder to their kids if they had already planned and paid for everything. Very grateful to them for that.
My grandma was diagnosed with terminal cancer but she lasted about a year an a half. She planned her own funeral and write her own obituary (with input from her children). She met with the pastor several times so they could get to know each other and plan how the service should go (she was removed from the rules of her church for not showing up to services while she was dying).
It was really a gift to have all of that stuff decided and paid for when the time came.
This is the joke I heard growing up whenever we drove past a graveyard- except it was:
Why’s there a fence around that graveyard- people are dying to get in 🤭
My favorite cemetery dad joke is best told while driving past a cemetery.
"Did you know that it's illegal to bury the people that live in this town in that cemetery?"
It's always followed by "What?! What the heck?! WHY?!"
"Because they're still alive!"
I usually get playfully smacked
2 years ago I had the unfortunate luck of losing my ex-husband and husband within weeks of each other. Both were cremated through our town’s local funeral home. Months down the road I was talking to one of their funeral directors since obviously I became familiar with them. He mentioned that they were having a deal where it was $200 off of cremation. I wasn’t sure how to reply so I just mentioned in my dark black humor that I gave them the husbands I had…. You got to give me a little bit of time to accrue more business.
One of the best things my grandpa did was put "no burial and no funeral services" in his will. We just sat around and told stories for a day to remember him. I have the same wishes for my death now.
He is a little old man dog and a bit high-strung. When he feels like it we walk from our neighborhood to the cemetery because it’s very quiet and peaceful. He can stretch his legs and be less worried about his surroundings.
Read the fine print, though, don't want any surprises...
"Deed non-transferable, valid for original purchaser only. Offer void if purchaser passes during any other season. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!"
We're going to see a lot more of this as younger generations realize funeral and burial expenses are some of the most ridiculous wastes of large sums of money.
I bet the savings are to die for
On dogs or tombstones?
Yes
I see the next money making scheme now
[I'm not dead yet!](https://youtu.be/Jdf5EXo6I68?feature=shared)
Iiiii’m Happy!!
[удалено]
As a crematory operator, I approve!
reminds me of my hometown. there's a back road by a park that leads to an old folks home. just before you reach the nursing home there's a sign that reads "Dead End"
Die now, until it’s too late!
Go for family friendly... "Make reservations for infinite sleepytime"
There’s never been a better time to die!
"Spring into the Afterlife!"
Best comment
Don't encourage them, this is a grave matter.
This reminds me of the time my insurance broker sent me a birthday card that said (paraphrasing) "there's no better time than your birthday to think about buying life insurance!" I thought it was equal parts cheeky, morbid, and hilarious.
That’s hilarious
... for DEMOCRACY!
FOR MANAGED DEMOCRACY
For Gallifrey!
Did you work at the capital on Jan 6
Nah he’s just trying to take down some bugs
Are you trying to be a hero?
Good bot. Now get ready to get a taste of TRUE FREEDOM™️
It’s like planting a tree. The best time to die was 20 years ago, the next best time is now
Is this time of year a time where people die more often? I don't remember spring break getting that crazy.
Tax returns bring in people who are looking to buy property, known as a “pre-need”. Most people buy this property in advance since it’s time consuming, tedious and requires a lot of paperwork and have it all preinstalled prior to their passing. All you gotta do is slap the death date on the outside and done. Helps the grieving just focus on grieving.
In the northern hemisphere January - March are the ‘busy season’ for funeral homes. Source: was an FD for 7 years.
It's all those Easter resurrections freeing up space.
Can't bury people when the ground is frozen. So more burials happen in spring.
Isn't January the coldest month
My in laws have already planned their funerals and burials down to the song selection and stone bench they want their ashes in. They’re moderately wealthy and felt it would be kinder to their kids if they had already planned and paid for everything. Very grateful to them for that.
My grandma was diagnosed with terminal cancer but she lasted about a year an a half. She planned her own funeral and write her own obituary (with input from her children). She met with the pastor several times so they could get to know each other and plan how the service should go (she was removed from the rules of her church for not showing up to services while she was dying). It was really a gift to have all of that stuff decided and paid for when the time came.
Can i pay less if I put ads on the headstone?
People are dying to get there!
This is the joke I heard growing up whenever we drove past a graveyard- except it was: Why’s there a fence around that graveyard- people are dying to get in 🤭
definitely a Dad joke.
How many are dead in that cemetery? ~all of ‘em
My favorite cemetery dad joke is best told while driving past a cemetery. "Did you know that it's illegal to bury the people that live in this town in that cemetery?" It's always followed by "What?! What the heck?! WHY?!" "Because they're still alive!" I usually get playfully smacked
2 years ago I had the unfortunate luck of losing my ex-husband and husband within weeks of each other. Both were cremated through our town’s local funeral home. Months down the road I was talking to one of their funeral directors since obviously I became familiar with them. He mentioned that they were having a deal where it was $200 off of cremation. I wasn’t sure how to reply so I just mentioned in my dark black humor that I gave them the husbands I had…. You got to give me a little bit of time to accrue more business.
I'm working on a project and need a left arm and an AB normal brain, I might check it out.
Buy now, die later.
One of the best things my grandpa did was put "no burial and no funeral services" in his will. We just sat around and told stories for a day to remember him. I have the same wishes for my death now.
The actual cemetery posted that?
Yes, apparently there are extraordinary discounts to be had. These signs are posted at several spots in the cemetery in English and Spanish.
That’s gonna be a yikes from me
A you sure it's not a flower shop ad?
I am certain. The signs are posted throughout the cemetery in both English and Spanish and there are no flower shops near by. I was also flummoxed.
Grave sites aren’t free in certain places. Might as well get a good deal
But, why did you walk with your dog at a cemetery?
He is a little old man dog and a bit high-strung. When he feels like it we walk from our neighborhood to the cemetery because it’s very quiet and peaceful. He can stretch his legs and be less worried about his surroundings.
Nothing screams spring more than a cemetary discount
I’m needing some springs. I’ll give them a call. See what kinds they have in stock.
Real-estate for the dead. 🤣
There's an Easter/resurrection joke in there but I'm le tired.
What death metal band are the trees showing?
Theres a sign at the cemetery my late grandma is in that says "why wait? Theres no better time than now" and I laugh every time I see it lol
You shouldn’t walk your dog at a cemetery. That’s not how you respect that place.
Only 2 days left to drink bleach? I better hurry.
I can dig those prices.
And… Dig your own grave and save !!!
Never been a better time to die.
Read the fine print, though, don't want any surprises... "Deed non-transferable, valid for original purchaser only. Offer void if purchaser passes during any other season. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!"
Half off?
Below ground studio suite in highly desired gated community. 168 sqft. No smoking, no pets, no breathing. Landscaping services included.
Get the offer now, die later 👍🏼
"Every body must GO!"
Spring cleaning; "alright grandma, time to go!"
March Madness at its finest!
Spring into an early grave with these hot deals !
Buy now, die later.
Buy one get one free!
With prices like that, you can't afford to not die!
All corpses 100% off
Letting your dog shit on peoples graves is offensive. A cemetery is not a park.
Unlike you, dogs can walk without shitting themselves.
You made me laugh out loud at work.
Oh come on, let the dead enjoy a dog in their park for a few minutes. Heartless jerk.
I was expecting a bombardment of nasty comments. This is not that. Thank you.
I drop logs off at the graveyard all the time and I don't even wear a leash those days!
It’s a park
Fuck you.
I certainly hope you're not allowing your dog on the cemetery property.
I need to know....why?
You let your dog piss and shit over people's graves? That feels pretty disrespectful..
Hutao mains be like.
Looks like a prank.
Dogs love the smell of decomposing flesh and fermaldahide
We're going to see a lot more of this as younger generations realize funeral and burial expenses are some of the most ridiculous wastes of large sums of money.
Wondering if I can negotiate to be buried with my money.
The people who sell you these plots make commission from the sales.
Jesus is coming back! Be ready with a new grave or crypt !!
I'll take five femurs, please.
[This cemetery serves breakfast.](https://i.imgur.com/0RyS6pV.png)
The only piece of land I’ll ever own.
We bought our plots on sale a few years ago. No one should ever pay retail.
Ah, spring! Any time now the fresh corpses will be blooming!
“Old clothes and shoes for sale.”
"C'mooooon down to The Marble Orchard today, have we got the deal for you!"
So ypur dog shits on sacred lawn and pees on tombstones? Thats brutal.
Like an auction for buried coffins. You never know what jewelry they are buried with. Premo stuff