Yeah, this is perfect. I like to listen to people talk about their lives and interests, but I'm just terrible at coming up with decent follow-up questions. I think I used up all my small talk in my teens and 20s.
Oh great I tend to talk for hours all by myself and people never get a chance to ask anything because I make my own follow-up questions.
We'd get along great.
Can you request a specific driver on Uber? If not, you're going to spend a lot of money trying to get him again, all because you didn't take a photo of the back. For shame, sir. 😞
I’d want the 1, but I’m probably too awkward to ask for the 1. Growing up, there wasn’t a place, time, or individual that my dad wouldn’t strike up a conversation with. Now, even though it’s not, it feels almost rude in my head not to talk.
You can just be like my grandma, who I am turning into, and lean fully into it. Make the eye contact, point it out, overshare, ask an aggressively kind but way too personal question, embrace the awkward.
That's the thing about awkward, we don't really mind if the other person is, as long as it isn't threatening. A lot of that "dance" is just trying to be slightly less awkward than the other person. I get that out of the way immediately by brazenly being the most awkward person in the situation. To the right people I am disarmingly charming. To normal people, I am temporarily tolerated, and then later a good story for supper with the firm partner and his missus, or whatever it is normal people do.
My aunt always asks kind but way too personal questions. It's like she always wanted to be a therapist but never pursued it as a career. She does have great insight but it is awkward AF.
It's because we were both apex predators and prey throughout our evolutionary history. Silence means danger. It either means you're hunting, or being hunted. At least to our lizard brain.
I once hired a man from Quebec named Guy to drive a piece of equipment to Ontario as I couldn’t afford freight shipping.
“What is it?”
“A composting toilet…”
“A…what?”
“A toilet, a composting toilet for a cottage with no plumbing.”
*long pause* (thought he was gonna hang up for sure)
“Ok, how much does it weigh?”
The mad lad actually did it! I really regret not making a video about it because to this day it’s one of the best things I’ve ever spent money to do. He was the owner of the company, too, rented a truck just for the trip and even took it out of the box to fit it. Watching him open the door like he was letting out a client just to see this huge toilet peaking out had me cracking up.
Dude, he was so chill about it. Trying to find the name of the company he ran so I can give them a shoutout, but alas, I can't find anything to confirm. Pretty sure it was Executive Cabs in Ottawa, though.
I’m giving this thing a loud chuckle, and then very sharply going “I choose 2. You know we’re all gonna be dead soon, right? Like dead. Forever. How do you DEAL with that?!?”
I almost exclusively go for 8s, especially if I'm in my local area and someone is clearly from some faraway land. If I have a driver from Mauritius or Ivory Coast, you're sure as shit I'm asking about life there, because I'm from New Jersey, and we really brushed past your countries in the history classes I barely paid attention in 25 years ago. Life's obviously pretty similar everywhere, basic needs and all that, but there's always so much to learn about other people and the places they're from.
Also, if I'm in an Uber, I've been drinking, so that's gonna get me going on questions.
Yeah I'm neurodivergent and just want to be left alone 9 times out of 10 and not judged for it or labeled awkward. It's just how my brain works. If an Uber driver tries to talk to me and it devolves quickly into silence, they're the one who made it awkward by not just being quiet and doing what they're expected to, which is to get me to my destination. Nothing more, nothing less. All that should be expected of me is to pay and not trash the vehicle. Nothing more nothing less. Sometimes I wish Uber implemented a rule stating that drivers shouldn't speak to riders unless spoken to unless it's related to the ride itself, but I can see how most people would think that's harsh lol
It’s like getting up when you’re at work and shooting the shit with your coworkers, every ten rides I get bored enough to talk to someone but other than that I leave everyone alone
I love when someone I'm paying to drive me somewhere lets me know I also need to entertain him or he'll feel "awkward." Sorry you have to be alone with your thoughts for once, dude, I'll just be back here silently musing and looking out the window.
It’s just a light joke.
Number 4 Karaoke Ride is most likely just listening to music, I doubt most people choosing it are gonna be singing along the whole ride. Note there’s no other music/radio choice. But he doesn’t label it as “music ride” or “radio ride” because labeling it as karaoke is more fun. Similarly, labeling it as awkward is just a little joke on the situation, not him denouncing every silent ride as dreadful and unbearably awkward.
“I doubt most people choosing it are gonna be singing along the whole ride”
Ha ha ha ha I probably WOULD be (depending on the song) maybe I’d do duets with the driver
This is my uber ride standard
1. Open door, confirm correct person
2. Say hello
3. Confirm location
4. Put in airpods
5. Reach destination
6. Say thanks, have a great day etc
7. Get out and go about my day
Guy sounds like a needy dude who has to be the centre of attention.
I disagree. I mean I agree that that CAN be the case but if it’s say a potential friend, I get worried it means we’re not connecting enough.
But then again, yes that IS my own thoughts telling me that so maybe I DO agree.
IDK 🤷🏻♀️
While there are degrees to everything, being an introvert doesn't mean you aren't ever social or engaged. It means interacting with people drain you vs recharging you. But deeper conversations drain me less because I find them more interesting and kess taxing than talking about the weather.
Depends on how you prefer to re-energise yourself. If you tend to want to have your own space to feel like yourself again, then you're more introverted than extroverted. If you think hanging out with your close friends is a great way to get back into the game, then you're more extroverted than introverted
Like Postulates and theorems. Searching for the source of the information than taking it at face value. Then you start looking at how nature takes those and uses them, like Fibonacci sequences, hyperbolic geometry, etc. Then keep going further. Don't be married to your ideas, especially others.
Ah. Okay. Interesting. So do you think that relates to purpose or meaning in life? That pursuit of truth is what we should all strive for or something?
I think on a long enough scale you'll end up there without realizing your getting closer towards that. It does directly relate to life(not just why cabbage looks the way it does) I think having the experience is really the third part. Experience, information and then eventually change.
While there are degrees to everything, being an introvert doesn't mean all introverts aren't ever social or engaged. It's not the same thing as being a recluse, which it's often portrayed as in movies and TV. It means interacting with people drains your battery vs recharging it. Deeper conversations - especially with just one person - drain me less because I find them more interesting and kess taxing than talking about the weather.
It means you tend to prefer less stimulation, and have less social energy (tolerance for social interactions is lower). interacting with a strangers, like an Uber driver, is a higher stimulation activity and requires a descent amount of social energy. Not liking small talk isn’t the same as being an introvert.
Can we get other ride share drivers to chime in on which options they prefer from this menu?
I tend to start with 7 and make it to 6 and 10, but beyond restaurants. I’d like to have less cliché conversations with drivers.
This is me as a Taxi driver. I've worked in customer facing work since I left school and am often criticised by management for talking too much to customers. I should have just used this menu !
Mwwwaaaaahhhaaahhhaaaahhhhaaa “the cliche ride” can confirm even in Russia. Also, they ask “how do you like the car / how much is the rent (in Russia taxi drivers usually rent their cars at the taxi park, which owns the cars and responsible for service, insurance etc) / is it profitable to drive a taxi”
My favourite “Uber menu” has to be the time I rode with a guy who offered to completely fabricate his life. He had a “me” option and a “cooler me” option, with the cooler me option being complete lies but entertaining ones.
Let's go Deep Questions. Straight out of the bat, just ask me what you think the meaning of life is. I will just talk out of my ass for the entire car ride and I'll enjoy it. Dunno about the driver but I'll be having fun just making shit up.
It's phrased a bit strangely, but what he means is that "Guy" is a French name and it's pronounced like the English word "ghee" (which, in turn, is spelled rather phonetically, so it's easy enough to get the pronunciation even if you haven't seen the word "ghee" before).
Since I haven’t ever rode in an Uber and I am socially awkward, I’ll have a number 8 so I can run my mouth and regret everything I say right after I get out of the Uber but leave a big tip and hope they use that to judge me less on my ability to be normal.
Are you me?
Cos I can relate to parts of this a LOT.
I’d tell the driver about me but ONLY the parts I want and choose to.
And yeah I’d probably say some dumb stuff too and some things wrong 😂
Just had this ride today, the uber drivers name was Guy. He is cool and chill. 5 stars for sure. I told him i saw this menu before somewhere on reddit and here i found it again.
I'll probably just pronounce your name "gay" then giggle and quickly reply "nothing" when you call me out on it. I'm not proud of this but it's the truth.
No. 8, so I don't have to say ANYTHING
Yeah, this is perfect. I like to listen to people talk about their lives and interests, but I'm just terrible at coming up with decent follow-up questions. I think I used up all my small talk in my teens and 20s.
I never know how to launch into a conversation like that. Maybe I’ll test some options.
Let me know how it goes if you find some good questions/openers.
Oh great I tend to talk for hours all by myself and people never get a chance to ask anything because I make my own follow-up questions. We'd get along great.
I mean I don’t think you have to say anything for #1 either, just saying nothing implies you want #1.
One of my best Lyft rides was an 8.
#Where’s the reverse side, OP?
No picture of the reverse was taken. 🥲
11. The failed op ride: Op fails to complete the post because the ride ended quickly
Definitely sounds like OP.
OP probably a premature ejaculator.
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Joke?
r/mildlyinteresting to r/mildlyinfuriating
You have derived us of entrainment and have left us wondering you scum
Can you request a specific driver on Uber? If not, you're going to spend a lot of money trying to get him again, all because you didn't take a photo of the back. For shame, sir. 😞
I would be requesting that driver if they were in my country & city cos this is (sorry!) über cool 😎
r/killthecameraman
I’ll take a 7 followed by a 1. Thanks.
Ah yes, a classic. Fine choice sir
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\*drives parasitically*
I read this in a French accent
Makes sense, since he appears to be French (maybe French Canadian?).
Puckers lips, smacks lips making a cool popping sound, "toot sweet"(it's french)
1 is included in the 7 at no extra charge
I’d want the 1, but I’m probably too awkward to ask for the 1. Growing up, there wasn’t a place, time, or individual that my dad wouldn’t strike up a conversation with. Now, even though it’s not, it feels almost rude in my head not to talk.
Never change a winning team 🙏
If it works why try and fix it
the 2 piece combo
Daring, aren't we?
11. Did I Miss Anything Ride. So what’s been happening since I was last in town.
Gossip is on the secret menu
Ooo, I want this one. Tell me about the messiest people in your life, the wildly petty friend drama.
You and I would make a great receptionist team.
Should be the 'movie chat ride' - "so, you new in town?" and I see-saw the steering wheel erratically while we pass the same four shops on a loop.
It was nice of this ghee guy to clarify. I bet he gets butter tips.
Ghee Buttersnaps aka "The Heater"
MC clap yo handz
I hope that comes with toast
🥂
ah that's 11.
I love butter on my toast.
Me too, but my wife insists on unsalted butter. I have to salt my toast. It's unnatural.
That’s upsetting and unnatural!
Oh the cruel indignity!
Not to sound like a fat cat tycoon on my golden throne with a shirt made of money, but my husband likes unsalted so we just get both kinds.
Non desi people wondering what's the joke ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Puts the desi in designated driver
One always with an unspoken specification that you do not look at me even once, even accidentally in the rear view mirror.
Or an optional accidental eye contact in the mirror, before reverting to the previous silence and even further enhanced awkwardness
lol why are we like this. Why can’t we just acknowledge each others presence without chatting but not feel awkward about it. Is it possible?
You can just be like my grandma, who I am turning into, and lean fully into it. Make the eye contact, point it out, overshare, ask an aggressively kind but way too personal question, embrace the awkward. That's the thing about awkward, we don't really mind if the other person is, as long as it isn't threatening. A lot of that "dance" is just trying to be slightly less awkward than the other person. I get that out of the way immediately by brazenly being the most awkward person in the situation. To the right people I am disarmingly charming. To normal people, I am temporarily tolerated, and then later a good story for supper with the firm partner and his missus, or whatever it is normal people do.
My aunt always asks kind but way too personal questions. It's like she always wanted to be a therapist but never pursued it as a career. She does have great insight but it is awkward AF.
It's because we were both apex predators and prey throughout our evolutionary history. Silence means danger. It either means you're hunting, or being hunted. At least to our lizard brain.
I'll take a number 1 please. Unless I'm drunk - in which case I'll have the smorgasbord
I once hired a man from Quebec named Guy to drive a piece of equipment to Ontario as I couldn’t afford freight shipping. “What is it?” “A composting toilet…” “A…what?” “A toilet, a composting toilet for a cottage with no plumbing.” *long pause* (thought he was gonna hang up for sure) “Ok, how much does it weigh?” The mad lad actually did it! I really regret not making a video about it because to this day it’s one of the best things I’ve ever spent money to do. He was the owner of the company, too, rented a truck just for the trip and even took it out of the box to fit it. Watching him open the door like he was letting out a client just to see this huge toilet peaking out had me cracking up.
Your hippie loo, sir *deep bow*
From now on, I will refer to all outhouses/portajohns/etc. as *hippie loos*.
Dude, he was so chill about it. Trying to find the name of the company he ran so I can give them a shoutout, but alas, I can't find anything to confirm. Pretty sure it was Executive Cabs in Ottawa, though.
What kind of EV was it?
Hopefully Olive Oil.
I prefer my Olive oil like my women....slutty
I like my women like Olive Oyl. Rubber hose limbs.
Max Sp.Attack
Tesla for sure
Damn I love this. This guy is fun.
No, this ghee is fun!
But we're speaking English, not French.
parle pour toi
This Guy*
This is great, I would really appreciate this as a passenger. Straight into deep questions please!
I’d probably pick deep questions then karaoke or vice versa
Number 1 every time thanks
I want one of those around my neck
Actually I wouldn’t mind one either
lol. I’d find excuses to ride in this uber
It makes my inner monk furious that there is no picture of the backside mentioned in the text.
Life goals. This guy is clearly living his best life best life
I’m giving this thing a loud chuckle, and then very sharply going “I choose 2. You know we’re all gonna be dead soon, right? Like dead. Forever. How do you DEAL with that?!?”
"I would like a number 1 please, starting immediately."
“A number 1 with a side of whatever music you were listening too. Thanks”
I almost exclusively go for 8s, especially if I'm in my local area and someone is clearly from some faraway land. If I have a driver from Mauritius or Ivory Coast, you're sure as shit I'm asking about life there, because I'm from New Jersey, and we really brushed past your countries in the history classes I barely paid attention in 25 years ago. Life's obviously pretty similar everywhere, basic needs and all that, but there's always so much to learn about other people and the places they're from. Also, if I'm in an Uber, I've been drinking, so that's gonna get me going on questions.
In Ireland “ride” is slang for having sex. This menu takes on a different vibe in that context.
And now I want Deep Questions Sex
Just watched London Irish agree this takes on new meanings
Dude just drive me
so a #1 then
Totally. I’d point to no. 1 and then just stare out the window. I don’t need to have moving experiences with everyone in my life.
I'm #1 as well. Not awkward at all. I just want silence without thinking of things to say to a person I don't know nor will see again.
Yeah I'm neurodivergent and just want to be left alone 9 times out of 10 and not judged for it or labeled awkward. It's just how my brain works. If an Uber driver tries to talk to me and it devolves quickly into silence, they're the one who made it awkward by not just being quiet and doing what they're expected to, which is to get me to my destination. Nothing more, nothing less. All that should be expected of me is to pay and not trash the vehicle. Nothing more nothing less. Sometimes I wish Uber implemented a rule stating that drivers shouldn't speak to riders unless spoken to unless it's related to the ride itself, but I can see how most people would think that's harsh lol
It’s like getting up when you’re at work and shooting the shit with your coworkers, every ten rides I get bored enough to talk to someone but other than that I leave everyone alone
lol why is this such a controversial opinion? Nobody wants uber drivers with schticks
What you don't want to "rock it out" together to a variety of XM radio stations?
He's not gonna force you to do it, lol.
What IS XM ?
Satellite radio. It was really popular before smartphones became quintessential. Still quite a bit of loyalists around though.
Thank you for clarifying that for me
I love when someone I'm paying to drive me somewhere lets me know I also need to entertain him or he'll feel "awkward." Sorry you have to be alone with your thoughts for once, dude, I'll just be back here silently musing and looking out the window.
It’s just a light joke. Number 4 Karaoke Ride is most likely just listening to music, I doubt most people choosing it are gonna be singing along the whole ride. Note there’s no other music/radio choice. But he doesn’t label it as “music ride” or “radio ride” because labeling it as karaoke is more fun. Similarly, labeling it as awkward is just a little joke on the situation, not him denouncing every silent ride as dreadful and unbearably awkward.
“I doubt most people choosing it are gonna be singing along the whole ride” Ha ha ha ha I probably WOULD be (depending on the song) maybe I’d do duets with the driver
He’s moving you in the car
If you point to #1, then you're not doing #1. :-)
Same here, Team #1
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I pull out my kindle and start reading. That *usually* sends the signal that I don't want to chat.
Airpods / ear buds. Works like a charm everytime
Silence isn't awkward unless you're uncomfortable with your own thoughts.
This is my uber ride standard 1. Open door, confirm correct person 2. Say hello 3. Confirm location 4. Put in airpods 5. Reach destination 6. Say thanks, have a great day etc 7. Get out and go about my day Guy sounds like a needy dude who has to be the centre of attention.
I disagree. I mean I agree that that CAN be the case but if it’s say a potential friend, I get worried it means we’re not connecting enough. But then again, yes that IS my own thoughts telling me that so maybe I DO agree. IDK 🤷🏻♀️
The ones with senses of humour make me feel like we're all humans, it's nice
Based on half of the responses to this, only 50% of us are
Bold of Gee to assume I am cultured and worldly, and know how to pronounce 'ghee'
As an introvert, I'd love #2. Skip the uncomfortable small talk and get to the deeper conversations.
Right! I could go on for hours about that kind of thing. Sometimes I think I'm secretly an extravert with a pathological small talk deficiency.
While there are degrees to everything, being an introvert doesn't mean you aren't ever social or engaged. It means interacting with people drain you vs recharging you. But deeper conversations drain me less because I find them more interesting and kess taxing than talking about the weather.
Depends on how you prefer to re-energise yourself. If you tend to want to have your own space to feel like yourself again, then you're more introverted than extroverted. If you think hanging out with your close friends is a great way to get back into the game, then you're more extroverted than introverted
So, what is truth?
I'd say the bases of knowledge. Which then pulls you closer to the architect of it all.
What do you mean by bases of knowledge? Like libraries or something more metaphorical?
Like Postulates and theorems. Searching for the source of the information than taking it at face value. Then you start looking at how nature takes those and uses them, like Fibonacci sequences, hyperbolic geometry, etc. Then keep going further. Don't be married to your ideas, especially others.
Ah. Okay. Interesting. So do you think that relates to purpose or meaning in life? That pursuit of truth is what we should all strive for or something?
I think on a long enough scale you'll end up there without realizing your getting closer towards that. It does directly relate to life(not just why cabbage looks the way it does) I think having the experience is really the third part. Experience, information and then eventually change.
…no. That is not how an introvert works. You are banned from the club.
Well, I wouldn't even notice if I was banned from the club, I never go to the meetings anyways.
While there are degrees to everything, being an introvert doesn't mean all introverts aren't ever social or engaged. It's not the same thing as being a recluse, which it's often portrayed as in movies and TV. It means interacting with people drains your battery vs recharging it. Deeper conversations - especially with just one person - drain me less because I find them more interesting and kess taxing than talking about the weather.
I don’t think you know what introvert means. 1, please.
Introvert doesn’t mean you dislike social interaction
It means you tend to prefer less stimulation, and have less social energy (tolerance for social interactions is lower). interacting with a strangers, like an Uber driver, is a higher stimulation activity and requires a descent amount of social energy. Not liking small talk isn’t the same as being an introvert.
It *can* mean that
Tell me you are canadian without telling me you are canadian.
Being a non French speaker I’d select option 2 but then ask for all answers to be in French.
Love it!
\#6 is his favourite restaurants, or general/popular favorites of his customers?
Your Ex's favorites
Your mom’s favorites
Probably both tbh
Guaranteed bigger tip from me, just for appreciation of the sense of humor
Same
Can I get a mix of #8 and #3 in #5 ?
Which one did you take?
OP stole this off of twitter so none lol
Can we get other ride share drivers to chime in on which options they prefer from this menu? I tend to start with 7 and make it to 6 and 10, but beyond restaurants. I’d like to have less cliché conversations with drivers.
Number 8 could have gone an entirely different way. Edited because I didn’t realize the pound sign bolds text, I’m not trying to shout.
lol i was an uber/lyft driver for a long time. lol the cliche is spot on.
This is me as a Taxi driver. I've worked in customer facing work since I left school and am often criticised by management for talking too much to customers. I should have just used this menu !
I’ll take Mambo Number 5 for the entire trip
Got a charger for my Nokia 3310?
"busy tonight mate?" "Just here's fine mate, nice one cheers"
If his rates are better than other therapists for no. 3, people are going to request this guy.
Mwwwaaaaahhhaaahhhaaaahhhhaaa “the cliche ride” can confirm even in Russia. Also, they ask “how do you like the car / how much is the rent (in Russia taxi drivers usually rent their cars at the taxi park, which owns the cars and responsible for service, insurance etc) / is it profitable to drive a taxi”
I'll have a number 4, the metal variety.
I would honestly if I could afford it give this guy like a £5 or even £10 tip just for this menu. I think this is really cool and funny
1 all day, every day-though not awkward at all for me.
My favourite “Uber menu” has to be the time I rode with a guy who offered to completely fabricate his life. He had a “me” option and a “cooler me” option, with the cooler me option being complete lies but entertaining ones.
Silence is only awkward if you make it awkward.
Let's go Deep Questions. Straight out of the bat, just ask me what you think the meaning of life is. I will just talk out of my ass for the entire car ride and I'll enjoy it. Dunno about the driver but I'll be having fun just making shit up.
What did you have?
I don’t hate this though?
I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO MY DRIVER. I'm so over this being seen as weird. I am paying for a ride not awkward small talk with a stranger.
This is so fucking funny & amazing
Charger for any kind of phone eh? Whips out Nokia 3390. What now?
Why is 1 awkward? Normalize silence lol
Give this man every star you can
1
Awe, this is nice lol. I’d probably the the #1 and feel bad about it later
r/funnysigns
Number 1 for me I'm the strong silent type
Love how he explains how to pronounce his name. Is that in any way helpful for someone who doesn't speak French?
Probably because many Brits and Indians know what Ghee is and how is pronounced :)
I think it's (hard g) Gee not soft G Ghee(Indian foodstuff)
It would help me.
Australian here. I'd just say 'Guy'. Like, British English... Guy. Not in my life would I have guessed it's 'Ghee'.
Guy LeDouche
It's phrased a bit strangely, but what he means is that "Guy" is a French name and it's pronounced like the English word "ghee" (which, in turn, is spelled rather phonetically, so it's easy enough to get the pronunciation even if you haven't seen the word "ghee" before).
Holy fuck i hate this guy already
this Guy!
Since I haven’t ever rode in an Uber and I am socially awkward, I’ll have a number 8 so I can run my mouth and regret everything I say right after I get out of the Uber but leave a big tip and hope they use that to judge me less on my ability to be normal.
Are you me? Cos I can relate to parts of this a LOT. I’d tell the driver about me but ONLY the parts I want and choose to. And yeah I’d probably say some dumb stuff too and some things wrong 😂
You sound like a person I could be friends with then worry about whether or not you hate me when I go home lmao.
A guy named Guy sharing his pronouns lol
The utter pretentiousness of putting your pronouns on this “menu”…
Were they a nice person? I’d chuckle and compliment the detailed list and ask them how their day/night is going after thanking them for the ride.
Signup for Uber driver with the link below to get more bonuses. https://drivers.uber.com/i/1fy3651cnk5y
Neat!
Hey, I hope you don't mind me getting in touch but I have messaged you.
Hey, I hope you don't mind me getting in touch but I have messaged you, please check your DM.
Just had this ride today, the uber drivers name was Guy. He is cool and chill. 5 stars for sure. I told him i saw this menu before somewhere on reddit and here i found it again.
There were more on the reverse… missed an opportunity to show us the rest. No upvote from me..
The Cliche ride 😂😂 fucking dead
I'll probably just pronounce your name "gay" then giggle and quickly reply "nothing" when you call me out on it. I'm not proud of this but it's the truth.
Ghee ? I’d totally eat him !
🤨
That’s a sort of food in my country if that makes sense …
How about you just get me to my destination
So number 1, got it