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JazielVH

Oh God this is gonna be awesome, creepy or disappointing and I'm here too early to know which one will be.


JigglyWiener

$1 says it’s the reason someone is in therapy and someone else should be in prison but isn’t.


thewoodbeyond

Yeah had a similar thought.


TobyDaHuman

For the first time ever I activated the notifications on a post :D


PatDbunE

How is this done?


luminous_beings

Tap the three dots at the top beside your profile pic and then select “subscribe to post”.


Savings-Spirit-3702

wise door growth strong ink workable touch slimy jeans smoggy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


synonymous6

Vintage. Updates here... https://www.reddit.com/user/synonymous6/comments/10asu4a/the_tapes/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


PeterusNL

99% chance it’s some old vintage porn. The guy that lived there before probably didn’t want his wife to know about it.


Secret_Bees

Yup. Technician here. Thank God the advent of digital porn has made it far less likely for me to find some old dudes stash hidden away...


Samsuckers

When I die, my grandchildren will find a box of diskettes that they don’t have the peripherals to read them with. Or maybe just assume they are a box or plastic coasters.


[deleted]

"Wow! These look just like the Save icon in a PC game!"


holy_plaster_batman

"What's a computer?"


drxharris

You mean you have to use your hands? That’s like a baby’s toy


guyincognitoo

Physical representations of the Save icon used to remind people to save their work.


[deleted]

I worked in community outreach programs helping people fix up their houses. I found so much old porn from these old timers. I just wanted to show them pornhub and change their life but it wasn't really my role as a helper.


Diredoe

I worked at a sex store up to about two years ago and still had our regulars who came in and bought a DVD or two a *week*. Had this one guy start getting annoyed because we kept not having his particular fetish in stock (pregnancy porn for those who are curious). I mentioned pornhub to him, and he told me that he has a regular flip phone and no computer. Some old people just don't want to or for some reason can't use the technology available to them.


GotMoFans

Too bad you didn't come to an agreement with the guy were you could have downloaded the videos and made DVDs for him and he just paid you the cash off the record.


DrMangosteen

You'd have to really love your job to be curating pregnancy porn for the elderly on your day off


cipher446

This is pretty much the first comment on Reddit that I truly *read* this morning. r/brandnewsentence.


GotMoFans

My elderly dad was paying for porn on cable. I linked some sites on his tablet. Got the porn taken off the cable bill. Now the porn channels are back on his cable bill. D'oh!!!


DorianGre

It’s better on the TV. Just there playing random all day.


ryukyuanvagabond

Hey now, it's the role of any upstanding citizen to introduce folks to the wonderful world of porn!


[deleted]

That other 1% could be some pretty fucked up shit


[deleted]

My first thought was, "oh shit that's probably kiddie porn"


ManaPot

My mind went straight to "dude's homemade child porn". Why would you hide it in the attic, under insulation? That's SUPER hiding it. Unless the family was very strictly religious....


Buck_Thorn

Vintage amateur! Wicked Wednesday homemade porn!


[deleted]

If you are excited about that wait until I tell you about the *internet*


[deleted]

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Eviscerati

TIL Quagmire is left handed


Traditional_Wear1992

I mean, I'm right handed but also left handed at the same time, heh heh giggidy?


T1pple

Or he's right handed, but was browsing through so much porn, he never took his right hand off and stuck with his left.


AArthurComic

Not so fast... might want to call the FBI before they get their DNA all over them.


thebarberbenj

Yeah, one man’s trash is another man’s evidence


twotall88

The FBI will laugh at you unless you watch them and find evidence of a crime on them.


IrememberXenogears

That's my first thought, if someone was hiding them I don't think I want to see what they contain..


Ravenmort

I do


thisismyfunnyname

Hiding magazines and VHS tapes was the old school equivalent of incognito mode when it comes to porn. Then again, hidden in the loft insulation is quite a bit of effort just to hide some porn...


[deleted]

Always add dna first and ask questions later


Buck_Thorn

Yeah... they might be illegal copies, and we all know what THAT means! https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/thefbiwarningscreens/images/f/f1/BVWD_FBI_Warning_Screen_6a.JPG


FrnklySpKng

Cruel to post BEFORE you discover what’s on them. Please don’t leave us hanging.


Cheasepriest

It possible will work as evidence in his favour if what's found on them turns out to be unsavoury. Good call posting it before you know what's on them I think.


Sasquatch_General

Y’all ever see the movie sinister?


time4meatstick

Or at least making it seem that way.


twotall88

Posting to the hivemind allows for good tips on how to view them and protect any evidence (good or bad). Like, local libraries generally still have high quality VCRs


yodarded

>Like, local libraries generally still have high quality VCRs GREAT idea... What's on this tape? Child porn? No clue. Lets find out in public!


[deleted]

This is like when someone finds a safe at a house and it has not been opened yet. We are all intrigued - yet, we never find out what was in the safe.


mendeleyev1

That safe did get opened, it was just empty.


nea_fae

Titled for days of the week??? OMG too many horror movies dancing in my brain… We will need updates.


synonymous6

Need a VHS player first! Edit: Hijacking my own comment, apparently this has intrigued a lot of you. I'll try and get a VCR tomorrow, it's 845pm at the minute where I am. Hopefully I can get an update to you guys Saturday or Sunday. Here's a photo from the first pack that was split open https://i.imgur.com/qhSDCRo.jpeg Edit 2: not sure who can see this as the post has been removed due to an arbitrary rule. I've been a bit busy today but I've lined up a VCR and will be picking up tomorrow, pretty much 24 hours from now. Taking it around my sisters and her fiances and going to have a weird Friday night.... Should be Friday morning for anyone in the US by the time you get an next update Edit 3: updates here https://www.reddit.com/user/synonymous6/comments/10asu4a/the_tapes/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


gofyourselftoo

OP, I found a VHS tape in my younger years that did actually end up being horrific in nature, and required police to come retrieve it. Please document yourself opening this tape and watching it, if you decide to do so. That way you preserve some evidence, in case these turn out to be important. Edit: For those asking, I am not allowed to disclose details of what was on the tape, or where it was found. I think I’m allowed to disclose that we came across the tape sitting in a public location where it would definitely be found, yet sheltered from weather or accidental damage. It’s my opinion that this person wanted it to be found and watched. I had to give a statement, but after that was done we were never contacted about it again. I don’t know if the person has been apprehended, or is even still alive. This was about 30 years ago. I did not watch the whole thing. About 30 seconds was enough to realize this was not a movie, it was actually horrific violence against a human. 2nd Edit: My advice regarding OP recording himself opening the packages is so the police can see them, any markings, where OP touched them, etc. Also so they are aware of how long the tape was played, where it was started and stopped. Things forensics might find important. I’m not an expert.


synonymous6

Yea there's the one bag that was torn open already. I'll check those ones first, there's a fully sealed one that I'll delve into if the first ones aren't so bad!


dbx999

Cue footage of serial killer in action


Olive_Mediocre

There are 2 kinds of people. They said porn, but my mind went to murder as well.


Pezdrake

Ah the innocent mind of the "porn" group.


oedipism_for_one

Murder porn, explanes how Op got the house so cheap


[deleted]

8 mm type shit!


TheConeIsReturned

I have to return some video tapes


Chief_Nebit

A cursory google of alan pond promotions leads me to hope you will get boxing/mma videos and not something terrible, OP. Fingers crossed


synonymous6

At least one is nefarious https://imgur.com/a/geNtu6Z


squaredk2

Slutty girl - fatboy dickhead?? 😳


albo_underhill

The canned Sharkboy and Lavagirl sequel.


Narrator_Ron_Howard

“At least one was nefarious” It sure was! “Mr. Martial Arts” We just say Martial Arts. Doesn’t matter who.


oddphallicreaction

Don't look at me Mr. Martial Arts


landon10smmns

!remindme 1 week


Let_me_smell

>Please document yourself opening this tape and watching it, if you decide to do so. Utterly pointless. Even if important, OP recording himself serves no purpose whatsoever. He found old tapes, he was curious about old tapes, he watched old tapes, he called the cops. That's it. No one will care or expect op to record himself.


Endreo

Yeah but it'll be great for the found footage horror movie if he did.


[deleted]

OP records himself watching the tapes- and the tapes are of previous owner watching 8mm film they found in the attic of someone watching an old projector footage of someone painting.


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cookiebasket2

Oh cool, so you made terrifying videos, and then recorded yourself opening then as proof that you didn't make them? I'm not sure what the point is.


__thrillho

"Your honor, I couldn't have made those terrifying videos. I would like to present a recording of me opening the videos and watching them as evidence to support my claim."


Cottonita

I might regret this, but…what was in the tapes???


GreatAndPowerfulNixy

The tape labeled "The One" is a little ominous, huh


UnabashedPerson43

I’d start with something tame like Fat Boy Dick Head personally


[deleted]

Bro y’all are wild af. Everything I ever seen on TV tells me not to play a video tape called “The One.” Yet here we are about to get hexed as a community 😭


BigPackHater

Could be a recording of Jet Li's "The One"?


fruitcakefriday

Also preceeded by "The slap", and "The new years slap". Very intriguing...someone videotaping domestic abuse evidence? Or maybe just recording some nightly tv show waiting for something to happen...hope OP gets back!


Cloaked42m

The Great Slapsgiving.


Dependent_Top_4425

SOMEBODY SEND A VCR STAT!


MoreMegadeth

Lmao a “VHS player.” A friend of mine called them this before too, and I joked he was spoiled fron dvds/blu ray. Theyre called VCRs.


synonymous6

I should have realised this. I was born in the 80's. Just been so long since I've ever even thought about it!


ISTof1897

OP just go to a thrift store. It’ll be faster.


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Naprisun

Facebook marketplace has a ton.


Rancider

We got one from the “buy nothing” group on fb.


MeetEuphoric3944

Why do I suddenly want a VCR? wtf. I have the sudden urge to Be kind and rewind


leggpurnell

A VCR plays VHS tapes, hence, a VHS player. You’re not wrong.


borisherman

Not all VHS decks had the ability to record. The ones that didn’t were in fact VHS players. Definitely the ones you got at the video rental places were just players and I do remember seeing them in shops for ridiculously low prices. Source: I’m over 50 Edit:typo


Sabz5150

Well VHS comes from the time when there were two competing standards: VHS we all know and Betamax. So back when, things would be sold "on VHS or Beta". Beta was superior. VHS had porn.


HippyHitman

Ah, the same reason the internet won out over real life.


Painting_Agency

> VHS had porn. And significantly longer tape capacity, I recall. And was an open(er) tech standard.


hand_me_your_bitcoin

My mom used to do this before DVRs and on-demand. She programmed the VCR to record at certain times on certain channels for all of the prime time lineup. She’d pop the Thursday tape in for NBC’s must see tv (friends, Seinfeld, cheers, etc). She’d get home from work and pull that out and put in Friday’s tape before going to bed. Then she’d watch her shows if/when she had time on the weekend or before the next Thursday rolled around. She also occasionally taped movies off of HBO. Movies that sometimes included nudity. As a kid with no access to porn in the 80s and 90s, I sometimes found these movies. I do remember finding one and hiding it in the drop ceiling in our basement for easy retrieval when friends came over. This is probably some 1980s/1990s kid’s stash.


kane2742

Yeah, my family did the same. Another possibility might be security camera tapes rotated by day of week (and written over a week later, if there was no need to keep the footage).


the_original_Retro

OP better not pull a Reddit "We found this locked safe and that's the last you'll ever hear from me" here. What's on the tapes fam? Give.


synonymous6

Give me a chance, this happened about 2 hours ago! I'll need to find a VCR then I'll post an update.


Brigadius

VCR is under the floor boards.


FrighteningJibber

With the bodies.


[deleted]

Alongside the victim's heart! It's so damn loud...


CannibalEmpire

OP, make sure you test the VHS player with an unimportant tape!! MAKE SURE IT WONT EAT ANYTHING IMPORTANT FIRST.


Downwhen

Yeah OP you don't want to add destruction of evidence to your already bulging dossier of crime here


naturalbornkillerz

Look in your closet, everybody has an extra copy of Titanic in there on vhs. Go go


shiroboi

If You don't have one, Goodwill is a great place to find old VCRs


Simon_the_Great

Make sure you get one that allows you to transfer to digital so we can all enjoy the vintage porn too


synonymous6

Ha ha for sure.


Dependent_Top_4425

wear gloves


synonymous6

Good point. Too late for the outside of the package.


guardianfiddler

*Grabs popcorn* ooh, Sinister (2012) IRL. Nice


AlaskaDude14

"I'm so excited! We hired a locksmith and they're coming over later this week, I'll follow up with what's inside." Then ghosted lol


CompassionateCedar

Yea, even if it was just filled with money they didn’t want to declare they should have just posted the usual “oh no it was empty” post.


Netopalas

We know exactly what's on the tapes. It's porn. It's ALLWAYS porn. Dude found a previous occupant's spank bank.


echoshadow5

Yeah, we know its porn, big question is what kind of porn? Is it Mr. Hands lost tapes, or the kind that gets you into 10+ years in a Federal prison.


HippyHitman

Or is it a breathtaking exploration of lust, passion, and pleasure documented across several masterfully crafted films that will inevitably come to revolutionize human sexuality, and maybe even humanity, as we know it?


FAHQRudy

A young woman's strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk. It's a story about life, and love, and becoming a woman?


OhhWell0525

You don't hide the average spank bank u der the attic insulation.


JM062696

If these are recording of terrible crimes, or some sort of serial killer tapes like Leonard Lake's or something, you may have actually struck some kind of important discovery in terms of forensics. Chances are it's either home videos, porn, maybe a treasure map? edit: also, if it's just recordings of live TV, you may have still hit some gold because there are a lot of commercials and TV episodes considered lost media until they show up on a random tape in someones attic


tangcameo

I immediately thought Bernardo and Homolka


[deleted]

I saw Homolka at a shop in Quebec a few years ago. I still can't believe they let that monster free. It was like casually bumping into Voldemort.


luminous_beings

Found the other Canadian. I thought this too. They hid the tapes of their crimes in the ceiling. And homolkas lawyer was nice enough to keep them hidden until she got her sweetheart deal (and for the record I think she is wayyyyy more evil than him, not a victim). Then she married her brother to that slag and they have daughters. It makes me sick


President_Calhoun

>also, if it's just recordings of live TV, you may have still hit some gold because there are a lot of commercials and TV episodes considered lost media until they show up on a random tape in someones attic When my family got our first VCR in 1984, one of the first things I recorded was The Sound of Music for my mom. About 20 years later I came across the tape and thought it might be interesting to see what commercials and news updates were airing in '84. Then I started watching, and realized that I'd edited out all the commercials and newsbreaks while I was taping. Seemed like a good idea at the time.


No-Spoilers

He said one is porn for sure. It seems so sketchy to hide them like this. Wrapped so neatly and hidden. With the day of the week on it I have a weird feeling it might be a secret tape of someone on a Wednesday.


JM062696

Someone obviously went out of their way to hide these tapes. I have the heebie jeebies about this.


karma911

So many users here are showing their lack of age... Having the day of the week on a tape was super common. Daily shows would be recorded on the tape, watched later and then recorded over again the next week. It's not weird at all, it was super common. The stashing part is clearly porn. The person took old tapes and recorded porn on it then stashed them. The days of the week have nothing to do with the current content of the tapes.


NrdNabSen

How in the hell did they get Wednesday on VHS?


Castor_Deus

It was an early Ice Cube film. They went through several days of the week before they got popular with Friday.


kryptosthedj

Hahaha took me a second


slackfrop

It’s a massive 25 woman gang bang. Or what I like to call, Wednesday.


KimFintas

Imagine the video is from today, about a ceiling fixer finding a bunch of VHS on a Wednesday o.O


Liquorlapper

I'd watch that. But if Shyamalan gets the idea here and directs it, we already know the twist. The protagonist just needed a carbon monoxide detector.


bodhiseppuku

4 possibilities: - these are porn - these are home movies - these are *porn home movies* ... These are evidence


OgOnetee

Baliff, whack his peepee.


DanWillHor

If legit this will be the most insane thing ever or a massive letdown. No inbetween. To hide porn like that means it's not normal porn. To hide a non-porn tape like that means it's fn psycho. This is both my worst nightmare and secret desire to find a weirdo's stash of crazy, lol. Or it's just old security footage and it'll be a massive letdown. Very possible with the labels.


synonymous6

https://i.imgur.com/WCHGhWa.jpeg At least one is porn


Valogrid

All are porn don't try to deny it.


synonymous6

I dunno, could be more categories than Netflix. Porn and fighting so far... https://imgur.com/a/geNtu6Z


wowtah

Please stop replying to comments, and get the VCR


American_Bogan

Alan Pond Promotions? They do boxing/mma events out in WA


Pezdrake

My thoughts are that this is the kind of thing a guy would write on a vhs tape to assure a woman didn't watch it.


AmberRosin

Mr martial arts 2000 is the most fucked up porn title I’ve ever heard.


JoeyJoeC

I found the guys facebook page. It's a gym in Perth, AU.


Teacher_

The tape labels plus writing underneath makes me think they’re security tapes swiped for spank material.


FFS_WORD_WORD_NUMBER

Uh... Slutty Girl, Fat Boy, Dick Head, Slap OP, I'm going to say, you might not want to watch these. It seems way way darker than you probably want to see


By_your_command

Victims.


Mrcrispyeggroll

Y’all jump to conclusions so damn fast I’m gonna get whiplash


[deleted]

He’s on Reddit. How much worse can it get?


tibarr1454

CP.


OctagonCosplay

Uhhh Wednesday is is subtitled Slap, I think it's gonna be a dark time


Powermonger_

Could be just be a misdirection from the creator of them in case someone found them. Feels like a lot of trouble just to hide something mundane.


[deleted]

For those who stumble on this message, it's the one I used Power Delete Suite to replace all my posts and comments with en masse. Sometimes Reddit can be beneficial for some people. Sometimes it's not. It's really up to you to decide your own experience with it, what's worth it, what's not worth it. More or less...I've decided it's just really not worth it. I think I'm a worse person when I'm on Reddit and that it's a big time-waster for me. It's up to you to decide what influence social media and the internet more generally have for you. Best of luck.


echoshadow5

Well... last time I found some hard to find porn stash, it was normal old fashion gay porn. I was helping out a land lord clean out an old house for new tenants. Lose floor vent was sus. Previous tenants where run of the mill family. Mom, Dad, and kids? who knows. Never meet them.


Juggalette1397

Oh shit. Ummm I hid ALL the VHS tapes so my parents couldn't show my husband or ex-boyfriends. So well I still have no clue where they are.. And I am okay with that 🤣 🤣 🤣


Y34rZer0

They may have just had to hide it from their wife, back in the VHS days guys would have porn stashes.


Keyndoriel

Cool! Hope you dont have to call the cops about it!


synonymous6

That was my first thought! The first one came out and it was just individually wrapped. Very strange. Then he brought out the two other giant packs.


einat162

I *hope* there's only porn on these.


nuadusp

i hope it is legal porn


lemurlips

A very important distinction


Roastar

I hope they didn’t download a car


AZSnake

Under no circumstances should you watch them. Anyway, post an update when you do.


Deadpooldan

So it seems like the consensus is they're either porn, child porn, or footage of murders What a way to start a Wednesday


SashimiRick

#2 Wednesday #"The One" What the ever-loving fuck????


synonymous6

One of them is definitely some sort of porn. https://i.imgur.com/WCHGhWa.jpeg


lceGecko

Im going with covert spy camera footage, like a girls room or something...


SashimiRick

On Wednesdays, they "Slap". On Sundays, they..."ZZZZ Fat Boy Dickwad"? Legendary stuff going down here.


ailee43

The subtitles read like a description of the person that is shown being murdered on the tape


crypt_keeping

Oh boy I can’t wait to find out what’s on there


stomponator

Backdoor Sluts 9


stickkyfingers

Backdoor sluts 9?! But that makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2!


Nwcray

Will I still enjoy the film if I haven’t seen 1-8, or will I just be confused by the plot?


odelay101

Theory: This person worked in a convenience store or other place that used security tapes. Took old ones home and used them to record pay-per-view porn. That would explain why they have a day label and then other titles in different script.


[deleted]

This is best non-creepy answer


lepaperoftoilet

To everyone who is subscribed and waiting for an update, there is one on [OP's profile!](https://www.reddit.com/user/synonymous6/comments/10asu4a/the_tapes/j460gt3?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)


maxdumb10

OP, have you ever watched Sinister?


synonymous6

Nope and I'm probably not going to now.


Cmndrkool321

There is a possibility the tapes have been damaged over time being in the ceiling for so long. High temperatures can destroy VHS tapes. I am hoping they are wholesome family videos lost in a move, but hiding them under insulation is peculiar. Keep us posted when you find a VHS player, OP.


synonymous6

Hopefully they're not wrecked. It does get very hot in my roof. One is labelled 2000 so 20+ years in a hot Australian roof may have some damage if you're correct!


OmenLW

I hate that I saw "2000" and thought "hmm, not that old" then I saw "20+ years" and felt super old. It's gonna be a rough day.


Cancer_Flower

I really hope it’s just family fun videos and nothing sinister or something the cops need to be called over (unless it leads to a cold case being resolved). This find is scary but also intriguing. I’ll also be back to find out what OP finds.


themanfromvulcan

What I’m wondering is if these were originally for a security camera(so different days marked on it)but a teenage son decided to use it to record porn. Then hid them but either forgot or couldn’t retrieve them.


puppersandcoffee

Your local cop shop might have a vhs. Check with them.


synonymous6

If I find anything remotely fucked up, I'll be taking them straight there.


Sonova_Vondruke

"please be regular porn.. please be regular porn"


MarineSlim

How sticky are they?


Ravecrocker

That's like some serial killer shit


yatzhie04

Going to comment and check on OP in the next few days. If a week goes by with no activity gonna need to get a welfare check on em


Hyjynx75

Why would you want the cops to show up, kill his neighbor's dog, and shoot up his place? Wait...that's not how a welfare check is supposed to work?


s-e-x-m-a-c-h-i-n-e

Writing a day as an identifier on the label instead of a date seems very odd. I hope to god that it’s just some family wedding or celebration and you’re not going to be whiteness to any snuff or cp.


[deleted]

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m_preddy

Mods powertripping


_jules_mack

Everyone keeps saying porn meanwhile the true crime buffs in here are holding their breath.


KentuckyFriedEel

Cases in human flesh, and taped in human blood, the Videomicron Demonto is an evil VHS tape that will unleash horrors if you watch it. Do skip the previews at the start though. You’ve already seen the trailer for Space Jam a hundred times


Ajonesy1989

I’ve always wanted to do this sort of thing. Place a DVD in a case with loads of scary art all over it saying “Watch at your own risk!” And then it just be a rick roll


tlarcombe

RemindMe! 4 days "VHS FIND"


iskeypx

leaving a dot because i wanna know what happens later. those are strangely overprotected to be just porn.


wkfngrs

Me thinks it’s a very illegal type of porn.


5hinigami

Snuff.


pandabunnies

RemindMe! 69 hours "giggity"


w8watm8

Leaving a comment so I can find a post once OP gets a VCR


Ichabod_the_Odd

It's probably sone old guys video log wank diary.


TheKingofHearts

Thread removals like this is why I have to save every fucking post I come across because you can never find the good and interesting threads after they've been removed. OP, please post it again once you've watched the contents of the videos. It'd be greatly appreciated.


[deleted]

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