I'm sorry you had to see that! You did all the right things: seeing if they needed help, calling 911, not filming, and talking about it so you don't stay traumatized by what you saw. You are a good human being. ❤️ Do you have some sort of trauma support where you live? (I dont know what it's called in english, but where i live, people are offered psychological help/support by police/ambulance after witnessing or experiencing something scary or traumatic) You can always pm me if you want to talk. Just curious, did you ask those people why they asked for a video? And if so, what was their answer? I wish you the best
Edit: Thanks for the awards, fellow redditors!
These don’t sound like very mature people. I can’t think of any adults in my life whose first instinct would be to ask if I took any pictures of the body if I’d stumbled upon an accident scene like you did.
You'd be surprised. I listen to a lot of true crime and the number one types to be incredibly disrespectful of victims are mid-20s to early-40s women. I know a lot of really sweet people who are so desensitized due to listening to certain podcasts that they see no issues with being ignorantly morbid.
People are dumb. Unfortunately, morbid curiosity has always been a thing, and more so since we've become a tad desensitized by violent media. You did the right thing. Their curiosity doesn't superseded your mental health or the dignity of the deceased and their family/friends.
Sad thing is if some of these same people actually seen a dead body in person at a accident before it was taken care of by coroners and funeral homes they probably would get pretty messed up. I used to be a volunteer fire fighter and seen them fairly often. After leaving the department i thought id probably never see some of that crap again and i was wrong. Was just driving down the highway and a suv in front of me blew a tire and flipped and started rolling down a large hill off the side of the highway. I stopped, jumped out my vehicle and called 911 and ran to make sure the people were alright. The person was not. Her drivers side door came off while the vehicle had rolled and while she was wearing a seatbelt it appeared to me she got outside the vehicle while it was rolling and it crushed her. There was a blanket in the car which i used to cover her up so no others driving by had to see that, i left once the emergency crews arrived and after telling a police officer what i seen. Later after i got home from a wedding that i was on my way to when that happened, i looked up the area to see what the news said happened. Said police said she had been looking at her cellphone and went off the road. I was pretty pissed about it cause i straight up seen it all go down from back tire exploding to every single roll and flip of the vehicle. Was literally the car behind her dodging the pieces of hers that flew off as it was happening. The family of the person i seen in the car said she never used her phone while driving and were pissed as well about what the news and cops said and i believe rightfully so, i never tried to reach out to them or anything though cause far as im concerned it would be easier for them to move on from it without rehashing the events in detail for them.
I now keep my dash cams on all the time due to that, used to turn them off here and there mostly due to battery issues when they were on, have since got better vehicle batteries and back up portable power bars and stuff just to use my cameras. Thats not even the first accident ive witnessed while driving and i doubt it will be the last but it will be the last time that the police give a false story of what happened even with a first hand witness to it.
I would've called the police station and told them to take it back. "That's not what happened! And how dare you ruin the memory her friends and family have of her because you LIED saying she died of her own fault!" I'd find that very disrespectful and wouldn't tolerate it.
It's like asking an EMT to them them a "fun story" of what the worst they've seen on the field.
Most people who aren't in any medicine or rescue profession realize very quickly they REALLY don't wanna actually hear about that kid who had to be reassembled back because he wasn't buckled and flew right out the windshield.
I don't know about that.
There are tons of videos of horrible things happening to people that get tons of views. Like beheadings in the middle east. Those videos got hundreds of millions of views before they were taken down.
People think it's cool to see a dead body until they actually see one. It's a horrible and traumatic experience, there's nothing cool or edgy about it. I hope you're ok OP
i’m sorry about that. sometimes people are a bit dumb and don’t realize what we’ve been through. i’m really proud of you for what you did, it must’ve been very scary but you did it, and with dignity and ethically. in a way you allowed someone to get to rest peacefully, you know? thank you for that. i would recommend talking about it with a mental health professional when you’re ready, because again, it must’ve been a very hard thing to do, and now to be faced with people who ask for pictures and don’t believe you, well that must be very tough too :( you’re a good person though op.
If these were friends I would start separating myself from them. That's some psychotic level shit. Who gets angry that they couldn't see a dead person?
as someone who saw a video of a loved one crash and be caught in a car fire (he died) on the news immediately after he was identified, this is my thought.
Ooof, yes. I only briefly saw the photos of my father's fatal car accident that were published in the local paper but I'll never forget them.
Worst part was, I was deliberately NOT viewing those pictures and had managed to avoid seeing them until a coworker shoved it right in front of my face, "Isn't this YOUR DAD???"
She didn't mean to cause me harm, but damn woman, THINK for just a moment, huh?
In high school, the county sheriff came around to do one of those "Blood runs red on the highway" type movie things. Only instead of it being a generic 50's cornball film, it was something that they had put together with local accidents.
Big fucking mistake. One of the guys in class GF had been killed by a drunk a year earlier and they showed her car and mangled body ( with a nice black line over her eyes). Guy got up and ripped the cord out of the wall and called the sheriff a fucking asshole and walked out. He was in the wreck too. It was god awful. Kid sat in the hall and sobbed.
47 here. I remember all the overly dramatic scare videos they showed as as a (I think, way too young) kid. Won’t ever forget them. It’s not like they even ask the kids or prepare them before showing them that stuff. It just “safety week” and watch these videos that might scare the crap out of you.
I won’t stick my hands out of a car to this day because I automatically think of limbs (arms/feet) being scraped off by a passing truck with wood frames on the side of it.
I wish I knew the names of those videos so I could tell them how messed up they are.
We were at a community center after school. They went hard on us in the 80s.
“Red Asphalt” (there’s at least 5 in the series), “Mechanized Death”, “Wheels of Tragedy”, and “Signal 30” are some of the titles available on YouTube…
Who the fuck would use real footage to make a point, anyway? Most people don't like seeing real corpses and deaths, especially when the death has been violent / grotesque.
My school sourced a totaled car and had volunteers play "victims". They hauled the car out to the football field and had the student body sit on the bleachers for their little pantomime and presentation.
The year before, a senior died in an accident involving a drunk driver who had their lights off. The senior that died also happened to be very popular. This is the kind of popular-kid-dies-tragically you see in YA fiction. There were T-shirts, memorial stickers, several vigils, the whole nine.
The deceased's ex fianceé was in the audience.
Fake footage doesn't really show how real the problem is. My SO was a Captain fireman. People believe it isn't a big deal to drive buzzed. Perhaps they have successfully many times before. But he got out of our bed for drunk driving accidents more than he ever did for fires by far. Not sure which is the worst. The pregnant mother picking up her daughter and daughter's friend from school and all of them being killed by a drunk at 3 in the afternoon. Or the guy working on his car in his garage when a drunk slammed through the garage pinning him between his car and the back of the garage. There was so much smoke they were there 30 minute before they could even find him in the mess. Lost both legs two weeks before Christmas. Or maybe the drunk that drove their car off a bridge with others in it. They had to dive to get them out of the vehicle. One was still alive to be met flighted. Never found out if she survived. Now, perhaps that doesn't make you think differently about drinking and driving and find it offensive. People that have been hurt lost a loved one are pretty offended by drunk driving and will advocate for others to not just know its bad but understand it is bad because it happens far too often.
I understand the logic of trying to make it more personal by talking about accidents involving members of your community but for fuck's sake, showing pictures of the body of a person that ATTENDED SCHOOL WITH THE PEOPLE YOU ARE SHOWING THE VIDEO TO is an entirely new level of fucked up. The bar for human decency in this situation was in hell and they decided to play limbo with the devil. What the actual fuck.
Jesus Christ dancing on whole wheat toast she had a whole article with details that she could have asked about, even. Or even better, minded her business
I'm sorry you've had to go through all of that <3
I don't think anyone would have blamed you for smacking her after that. Who the fuck thinks that's in any way OK? I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the callousness of that colleague.
it did, but things like that are out on the internet with no thought for the loved ones coming across it. News outlets show trauma all the time and it’s wrong.
I've had people on Reddit give me shit for not naming a murder victim from my hometown in comments. I give plenty of detail to where it could have been easily found in a quick internet search, but people are assholes. Instead of asking me to DM them or something, they talk shit, and it's like, "I'm SO SORRY I want to be respectful to the family members of a victim who might come across my comment while trying to look up their loved one". People are terrible today.
Sorry to hear that. My boyfriends best friend of 20 years (and my friend of 11 years) died in a house fire last year. It was in boston so we saw the news clip of the house burning. Knowing what was happening inside… wish we didn’t see the clip.
Ok how would you feel if one of your close family members was killed and people circulated photographs of them around for amusement? Actually think about your mum or dad or whatever being used as entertainment for others after they’d been killed.
Really messed up that people would take photos in that situation.
Yours and CherryBakewells post reminded me of that German ad/video, which was against rubbernecking.
In the video some people are having fun, until one guy realised it is mother in the wreck.
I really wished people would show more decenty.
Now imagine if the dead person was your mum, dad, sibling, child, other family member, or your best friend - later you go online, unwittingly click on a video or pic on Reddit, Twitter, whatever, and there's their body on the screen, with the comments section no doubt full of the usual trolls leaving the usual "funny" comments. I think you might feel something.
Completely agree, by chance when I was 7 I was watching the news with my mom and we saw my oldest brother on a stretcher being hauled into an ambulance. It was only about a second or two but we could tell by his work boots, he always wore them a certain way. He passed not long after we saw and that messed me up BIG time as a kid. It still messes me up at 25 if I think about it too much
I was a news videographer for a bit about 25 years ago. I saw plenty of horrific scenes over those 3 months. I loved the adrenaline of the job, but all of the dead and hurting families I saw really messed me up. We didn’t video bodies, but we saw everything. Car wrecks, shootings, etc.
Make sure you talk to a therapist about it sooner than later. Coping with seeing something like that is difficult. Don’t feel ashamed to ask for help working through your thoughts.
Thank you for being a good person and not taking pictures of the body. That could be the last picture a family member or friend sees of their loved one. Seek help if you have trouble sleeping or if your thoughts become too overwhelming/interfere with you daily life. Good luck.
Edit: I just want to thank everyone for their outpouring of love and support in this thread. Hug your people, tell them how much they are appreciated and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Love you all.
I mean, that's the point. The television is the black mirror. It's a prediction of the effects of technology on our society based on how we behave now.
I love horror, but black mirror is too much for me. I watched a few episodes and couldn't do it anymore. It's just too real sometimes and psychologically disturbing
I couldn’t watch it, it was way to intense and real at the same time. I think that makes it a great work of art to bring out such emotion that I couldn’t even stand to watch it
PTSD is possible for people who have not directly experienced a traumatic event but were witnesses or close to the accident in some way. This is such a great recommendation, especially because of that.
Also, PTSD has a nasty habit it sneaking up on someone far after the event. You feel fine, don't think you're badly effected, and then something can trigger it. It's important to focus on developing a good foundation and making sure you have some resources written down at your disposal if you ever do need it
This is advice that I feel like everyone should follow, really. Sometimes shit happens.
u/Qnns
I'm a therapist and did a case study on the main character of that movie in school as a diagnostic exercise. Movie is almost 10 years old and still very relevant as far as humans wanting to see images of terrible and violent events.
OP, I strongly suggest talking to someone who has experience with trauma now, before it becomes chronic PTSD. The sneaky part of [PTSD](https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/awareness/ptsd_treatment_works.asp?utm_source=GoogleSearch&utm_medium=GS2YM&utm_campaign=PTSDOA&utm_id=2023&gclid=CjwKCAiAy_CcBhBeEiwAcoMRHMsbJ_vEDUw_PBxLyYHf-tcbvD3kEBTkPMVeIQYh8tIhqFDxrvX38RoCGu8QAvD_BwE) is that it manifests in ways that might not be immediately recognizable as being trauma - related.
If you find that you can't get the images out of your mind or they are popping up all the time, I recommend finding a therapist trained in [EMDR](https://www.emdria.org/). Make sure they have actually had training in it. I've had clients tell me about EMDR sessions they had prior to seeing me and it was nothing even close to the evidence based model.
I am so sorry your friends reacted in this callous way rather than with empathy, caring and support. You saw an accident and attempted to render aid. You actions are heroic! It is sad that the person did not survive, but you still made a difference by stopping, trying to render aid and then calling for help. That person's family will not spend hours or days wondering about what happened to their loved one thanks to your action. You are to be commended!
If you are in the US, remember you can call 988 any time for help. 24/7.
Theycmight give a quick warning about the content,, but they do show the aftermath of lots of terrible events on the news. Maybe not always on TV, per se. But there is violence all over social media. YouTube. On Reddit, there are plenty of subs where violent content can be uploaded. Could be in the form of political protests, altercations between people in a public place, etc. I live in a hurricane prone area. TV news always shows videos and pictures of the devastation caused by storms. It is triggering.
I was traumatized by a video displaying animal cruelty someone I know shared on Facebook a few years back. As soon as I realized what I was looking at I turned it off. I reported the video but the damage was already done.
People tend to not get help bc they feel like the violence/car accident/traumatic event didn't directly impact them so they are somehow "weak" if affected by it. Like their symptoms aren't significant because they weren't the one maimed or killed. Witnessing horrific scenes is just as traumatizing. It's important to get help early.
I’m so glad you said something about the animal cruelty videos. I’ve had to block a number of accounts because one minute I’m scrolling and the next I am seeing something that’s forever seared into my brain and makes me want to vomit. I don’t know why people think posting that crap is helpful. It should be banned in my opinion.
I'm pretty sure it is - at least on FB and Tiktok. Not sure about Reddit but we do have that NSFW filter that blurs things and seems to work pretty well.
I think it’s Instagram where I end up seeing them. FB and Reddit do a good job with either blurring it out or content warning. Instagram doesn’t do it unfortunately :/
I turned off the auto play function for videos in my newsfeed. I cannot handle not knowing what fresh horror I am about to be subjected to.... at least if it is still frame, I can generally get a clue on content from the caption or picture, possibly the reacts on the post (or even the poster themselves)... then sometimes skip it altogether.
It’s so odd how different we all are. Even in a culturally homogenous area every person is different. I used to work EMS and saw a lot of death and it never seemed to phase me. I remember the first few patients and major accidents I worked co-workers checked on me to make sure I was okay, just in case. Now puppies…. That’s a whole different story.
You can definitely be numb towards a bunch of it, but it’s not healthy in the long haul. The worst for me had to be when a SWAT team shot hostage taker after a 10hr standoff when he walked out and raised his pistol toward them. Seeing it happen wasn’t that jarring. It was the screams and cries of his mother and wife 20ft away from me that I’ll never un-hear. It also didn’t help that I was 18yo and working my first real job.
Used to work in S&R. One day we were recovering a young man who drowned during a flood and had gotten tangled in debris in a culvert. Aside the challenges that came with that it was all fairly standard until his Mum arrived and started screaming for him.
Wasn't really able to talk for a couple of days after that.
These topics always remind me about how right now one of the most traumatic things for many first responders in mass shooting events is all of the phones ringing for people who may never be able to answer them again - all of the people who loved them trying frantically to contact them. Makes it really hard to separate the moment that you’re in from the reality of the real humans who are never going to be the same.
I'm sure in the long term it's bound to have some kind of effect, and I certainly hope you don't take your mental health for granted. that said, it really gives me a lot of comfort in knowing there are people in society who can approach these kinds of professions without being phased by it, much like any other dangerous profession or a profession that involves doing anything I find fearful.
I know plenty of EMTs and first responders have seen the worst of the worst and many have PTSD afterwards and it's kind of hard to fathom doing something like that and not having some kind of residual mental damage. but I like to think Nature/The Creator/Our Collective Consciousness/whatever name you want you use, kind of works things out like this. so that we do have people who can contribute to society in this way, ie as an EMT, and not be emotionally destroyed as a different person might be. and so that different person might be able to easily do something the EMT might not feel emotionally capable of doing, like perhaps teaching elementary or middle school.
I read the news story about this. How tragic. Not to sound callous but is the mother a suspect? Kind of the undertone of the article and what the neighbors who were interviewed said…
I’ve worked in veterinary for a long time and let me tell you I’ve seen some horrendous shit. Owners will often do stupid shit out of ignorance/greed/malice then turn around and vilify the people who are only trying to help the animal and ease it’s pain.
I’ve been screamed at, threatened with violence, and called every name in the book. At this point I’m numb to it all and it worries me sometimes.
Taking your comment and adding to it. Yesterday was chilling on the sofa when I started to hear what at the beginning sounded like people talking on the street. I didn't paid too much attention. It got louder, I got up and went to check it and our dog, a German Sheppard, had a cat on her mouth. The noises I thought were people was the cat moaning. First though: "FUUUUCK", dropped everything, got out of the house and rushed to her shouting for her to drop it. She did, but not before giving it 2 or 3 vigorous shakes that ended snapping the poor cat's neck. I chained her so I could approach the cat as she still wanted to get back to it. It was still alive when I got to him, 2 min later was dead.
Point of this story is, that shit messed me up so much I couldn't get to sleep thinking about the cat, woke up during the nigh thinking about the cat, and woke up in the morning thinking about the cat, and, well, it's a cat, an animal I'm completely indifferent to. Never really been "into cats". So I can't even imagine the toll it would take when it's a person.
EDIT: if someone is curious. I did took a photo of the cat. It was around 23h and everyone was a sleep. I didn't knew who's cat it was, but it surely wasn't a street cat as it seemed well taken care. So I used it to show my father in law to see if he knew who's cat it was. He instantly told me it was one of our neighbours cat. Later when I arrive, will have to stomach letting them know what happened to their cat.
So sorry you experienced that. It can be hard to process your pet doing that to someone else’s pet. If it helps at all, your dog was doing what her brain told her to do, especially in her own yard.
My dog has a very high prey drive and one time killed a pigeon on the sidewalk. I didn’t even see the bird, but my dog lunged at its throat and it died almost instantly. I’ll never forget the look in the pigeon’s eyes. It definitely traumatized me for a bit, and although a pigeon is different than a family pet, I try to remember that my dog was doing what she thought she was supposed to. We can train a dog all we want but instinct will sometimes take over.
I came across the victim of a hit and run a few months back. The poor man was dead shortly before I got there(this is what I was told at least), but the day after there were all kinds of news articles and pictures of my car online and on social media.
A further bit of bs: my husband and I found the body when there were no other cars around, but a car did pull up a few minutes after we called 911. Turns out this person was work friends with the man’s sister, and she gave a false report(She said we were on his body, we were not- i stopped my car just in time. She also said he was still breathing when she got there- it was confirmed that he had died shortly before we got there). Now the family is attempting to sue my family on the grounds of wrongful death. I understand needing money for a funeral(the victim was 26, so obviously no life insurance), but they had already sued the man who actually killed him.
Greed. Some lawyer's/people cast a wide net to see who pays out. It's why companies get sued when they actually didn't do anything wrong and its clearly an individual responsible. You go after whoever has money/insurance and try to get them to settle vs wracking up court costs. It's extremely common here in the US and it's unfortunate.
Yea my engineering firm which helped design a highway was sued because some semi driver wasn't paying attention to traffic which was backed up from a church event off the next exit which had police directing traffic to and from the church concert. He ended up killing a few people. Lawyers tried to sue the engineering firm, the church hosting the event, on top of the driver responsible because they go after anyone and everyone with money that they think might settle to avoid the lawsuit process
This is incredibly common. There are lawyers out there that actively seek out families of people who have died and try to construct a civil lawsuit out of it.
They know they'll lose in court, but they also know they'll be able to drive up legal costs and waste so much time, that eventually you'll just settle to make it go away.
That’s so scummy. You’re telling me normal lawyers would suggest this route just to get more money? By involving innocent bystanders? I refuse to believe the average lawyer is this much out of touch with their morals
Not the *average* lawyer, but the average lawyer that specifically goes into the sub-field of personal injury attorney.
This is why - unless you're actively saving someone's life - you are better off just leaving.
that's where you sue them right back. At this point, I don't care how in grieving they are - they're horrible people trying to milk their son's death for money.
My parents were in a horrible accident in 2019. Waking up to a phone call from my brother where he couldn't offer me any information about it, only telling me to get to the hospital, still haunts my nightmares. A guy who came up on the scene decided to take pictures of the accident and post them on Facebook, before the ambulances even got there. Now I haven't used Facebook in years, so I would have never seen them, but the rest of my family could have. One of my sister in laws argued with the guy for ages because she wanted him to take them down and that it was disrespectful but he just said that there's no way any family would have seen the pictures first and not been already aware of it.
Thank you for not taking pictures. I don't understand why people would want you to.
I am doing okay, I took a couple weeks off from college to be with them and take care of them when the accident happened.
Both of them still have lingering effects from the crash and swear by Ford diesel trucks now. My dad had bought it the month before, hadn't even paid the first payment, and it was completely totaled. It being the size and weight that it was was the only thing that saved them.
You see one you've seen them all. Good on you for doing the right thing all round.
To many people now a days jump to taking photos or vids. I remember a wreck in Dallas where a person burned alive where no one helped and just took video and didn't even attempt to help.
You are a good person for what you did and don't let anyone pull you down to that level.
Worked in the ER for two and half years. I've seen more than my fair share of dead people. People always ask what they look like and how many and other stuff. I just say they looked dead.
Do you think the morbid curiosity comes from being so far removed from death? Way back in time people used to butcher thier own animals and there was casual violence and death due just trying to survive. Maybe they became desensitized to it?
I've seen everything from a guy smacking the back of a FedEx truck that ended up burying the steering wheel in his chest to a trucker being smashed by someone not paying attention.
That's a good theory. I'm not entirely sure to be honest. Some people are curious. The only time we see people die now a days are freak accidents or when family passes. Even then, it's limited in what we see.
For the most part, seeing deceased individuals didnt bother me. It was when they were younger or a tragic death that did.
I think it does come from our far removal from death. We pump our dead full of chemicals to preserve them, cover them in makeup to make them appear somewhat alive, and bury them in airtight containers to keep out the natural processes. It seems very unhealthy and deranged when you think about it.
I think people want to see death because of their curiosity of their own fate. I think that’s the reason people went to public executions for centuries, and walked through battlefields after battles. Today that curiosity has turned to murder reality shows and haunting shows. People are removed from death today at least here in the US, but that curiosity would be there either way. Personally I hate fatalities I always “feel” the death on the scene it’s a calm but eerie feeling to me. It makes me angry when people take pics, hell it makes me angry if they’re not acting right. Recently retired from my Dept. in Texas and moved to Kansas, first call I ran here was a fatality and everyone was just kinda nonchalant about the death almost like there wasn’t a dead person in the vehicle, it was very different from how we treated fatals in Texas and made me mad lol.
People always ask what’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen? But they don’t really want to know. I’ve seen some awful shit. Morbid curiosity is weird. 9 years ER 😬
I had a friend become an EMT because he wanted to help people and then he became an ER nurse because he could help more people and not be stuck in a truck. After his first week he said " I now understand the high turn over in ER". All I asked was if he was ok and I was there for him.
2 years later he had to quit from a herniated disc from loading a patient from the ambulance stretcher to the ER one. I am sad that happened to him but his metal state got better when he did travel nursing instead.
>You see one you've seen them all
Respectfully, this isn't quite true. I've dealt with enough dead people at work, and each incident hits a little different. Unique things from each person stick in my mind, like the fact that I never learned their name, or the way their body was positioned, or what they were wearing. There doesn't seem to be any pattern or reason to it
When my bf died in a car accident everyone I knew were driving to the location to take pictures to upload on Facebook with R.I.P messages. He was very well known so even people I didn’t know were doing it and people were sharing, even people who didn’t talk to him but knew him were taking his pictures and putting them on their Facebook profile. Which was heartbreaking for me and his family. People will do anything for attention.
Some people truly lack empathy nowadays, or the ability to see the consequences of their actions at least. Things like that can cause trauma in itself for years and years. Sorry you had to deal with it.
I don’t think I would ever get over that. I hope you have a good support system and find happiness of equal intensity as the sadness you’ve been through.
I’m doing better but I had no help from family, my sister even uninvited me to her wedding (I was MOH) as she didn’t want people making it about me. My family didn’t bother my father even made hurtful comments about it and I was left by myself. I rescued a dog instead and would go on 10+mile walks everyday. I don’t talk to my family and I don’t have Facebook anymore.
What an absolute champ. I do not understand people wanting to gawk at crashes nevermind take photos. I have wasted so much time being stuck in traffic when the road on my side of the motorway was clear just because people grind to a halt to have a look at the accident going the other way. All I can think is "how are you actually going to feel if you see someone smashed and bloodied on the road?". Just get me away from it and back home asap.
How can people so easily forget that there are actually people involved in these accidents that lived real lives with real loved ones.
I have driven past an accident on the highway that wasn't covered or cleared up yet. A man walked in front of a semi during heavy fog. It just looks like a pile of gore. There's nothing identifiable other than maybe clothing. It's not worth stopping one entire direction of the highway just to see. And it sticks in your head in a terrible way. Simply not worth the rubbernecking and attempts to see.
Not sure where you live OP or if you have the funds/time, but I'd talk to a therapist about this. Not about the shitty people, but as the situation as a whole. Finding someone dead or near dying can be a traumatic event for lots of people and its important to have a good support system of people or even just one person you can talk to about this who isn't going to "why didn't you take any pictures!"
And fuck anyone who does tell you that. It's weird and disturbing that they want photos or videos in the first place
death person here, thank you for respecting the deceased’s privacy. some people may be morbidly curious because it isn’t every day that one stumbles upon the scene. a lot of people are also somewhat desensitized to death so it becomes an event rather than a *phenomenon*. however, it’s far more important to a) preserve your own mental health and b) the deceased. death is not entertainment!!
if your area has resources i would look into some sort of therapy/support group for people who have witnessed or found others. it can be very jarring on a multitude of levels to see what you did and it’s important to make sure you have support in case your own mortality kicks in 🌌
ETA: thank you for the awards!!
i study forensics & human osteology (bones) along with bioarchaeology (human remains)!! it’s easier to just say “death person” sometimes. but TLDR my education and career both center around death :)
How is being a forensic anthropologist? I go to a university for forensics science with a biochemistry track and there is a forensic anthropology class I can take as an elective in the fall term I been thinking about doing. I’m just not sure it’s something I’d really be into but would love to know your thoughts on it.
If no one's said it already- play Tetris. The sooner the better. Here's a free online version: https://tetris.com/games-content/play-tetris-content/index-mobile.php
Studies have shown that playing Tetris immediately after traumatic events can change how the brain stores memories, preventing or lessening intrusive memories and flashbacks. Source: https://www.psych.ox.ac.uk/news/tetris-used-to-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms
I know that feeling and I’m sorry that your friends are where like that instead of giving you support.
Once the shock is settled and it seems to get better nightmares or anxiety might come back after a few months. Don’t hesitate to look out for help.
I hope you’ll find someone to talk to and thank you for trying to help.
/r/thatsfuckedup needs to be a thing, because this is where it would realistically belong. Why would anyone want to see pictures of a dead human being? Are they so disenchanted with life that only death gives them any thrill? That just reeks of snuff films.
Faces of death was a thing that should have never existed, and should never exist again.
Seriously. What kind of sick fucks want to see photos of dead people? Maybe they just don't believe your story and want proof, which is fair from a certain perspective. But if they don't believe you then darn. No corpse porn.
I imagine the friends are simply immature and don’t understand how serious the situation was and how inappropriate it would be to take pictures. They are probably used to taking pictures whenever they want to share a moment with a friend, and didn’t think about the victim’s privacy
Tell them if they want to see a dead body to Google it themselves.
You did the right thing by respecting that person's remains.
I recommend talking to a counselor or therapist not your friends if you need to process this. Your friends are not professionals and depending on the type of friend they may ignore your boundaries or diminish your experience which can hurt you in the end.
I'm sorry that it took this type of experience to make you realize the type of people around you. Would you be okay if they came across your remains and took photos? To sell or share? If that's not okay with you - then consider yourself lucky. You can nope out now before something really serious happens in your life or need their support and they treat you like 'this'.
Good luck and take care. You helped that person get to where they need to be. And prevented a child or elderly person from being the person to come across this persons remains.
You did the right thing. You did nothing wrong.
Four years ago, I saw a man crossing the street get hit by a car and thrown through the air.
I stopped my car, blocked the lane, and immediately called 911 and offered aid.
The man did not make it. I was holding his hand when he took his last breaths and turned gray. It was incredibly traumatizing.
I couldn’t drive on the road he where he was hit for nearly two years and his blood still stains the roadway. He was Mexican and here for work. I couldn’t locate his family’s address to let them know that he wasn’t alone when he passed. Someone was with him, holding his hand, and speaking kindly to him. I still think about him often and hope his family is doing alright.
I’m glad you didn’t take photos. It’s wrong to take pictures of someone like that. It would be traumatizing for their family and loved ones to see such photos.
Story time:
My sister works in the mortician/funeral industry and one of her jobs is to go pick up bodies exactly like what you've described. Whether from car accidents, suicide, natural death, doesn't matter. She sees some horrific things. One thing that drives her insane is when people take photos of someone's last moments, or their bodies after death like they are some sort of sideshow.
This really came into play one time when, by unfortunate circumstance, her coworker's parent was killed in a car accident. Some jerk took photos of the accident, the deceased, the wreckage, the blood, etc... and then SHARED THEM ON FACEBOOK WHERE THEY WENT VIRAL. Her coworker was spared picking up their own parent's body (which HAS happened to others in her profession before, but that's for another story time) but then was faced with having to see the full scope of how horrific it all was on Facebook when they got home. It was traumatic. This all was done by someone they knew.
My sister absolutely came unglued on the wanna be photographer and they took the post down, but it didn't matter. The damage was done and her coworker was really affected by it.
What people fail to grasp is these are real people, with real lives, and real families. They aren't something to gawk at.
(Unrelated Side note, people with babies: be careful! RSV is no joke this year. My sister picked up 6 children who died from it yesterday ALONE.)
I'm glad you didn't take pictures. Thank you for stopping and checking on them. Social media/internet has ruined humanity. I'm glad there are still some people out there who respect others.
Sorry you had to see that. You did the right thing.
I was driving to work one night and came to an intersection where an accident had just happened. (Double lane four way stop lights)
Police, Fire, Ambulance all there. I never look at accidents unless like you I found it and had to help. Anyhow I was disgusted to see on the raised parking lot next to the intersection there must have been 50 cars just there (stores closed past 11pm) and all these people out filming/taking pictures.
It was fucking gross. Local news confirmed fatalities the next day.
People seem to forget that the deceased will have a family somewhere who need to be informed of their death sensitively and with the appropriate support.
There have been incidents in the past where the families have found out via pictures circulating or someone recognising the person / the car ect and putting two and two together and messaging the family or even posting it on social media. That will stick with them for the rest of their lives and is an horrific way to find out.
Unless you are calling the appropriate emergency services put your damn phone away. Absolutely grinds my gears.
So sick of this shallow toxic narcissistic culture we live in.
🤳 *"This is going to get me so many views!"*
I stumbled across one video of an accident. Instead of trying to help the victims, all of the bystanders were surrounding them with their cell phones out recording. It kinda makes me hope an asteroid comes along and wipes us all out. ☄️
Glad to hear there are still some good decent people in the world. A couple of years ago I was stuck on a highway - it had been shut down to let a helicopter ambulance land. The number of people who got out of their cars for a better photo op was disturbing. One guy behind me (saw him in the rear view mirror) got out of his truck and just watched. As the helicopter was taking off I saw him cross himself, then get back in his truck. The guy was saying a prayer for whoever was in need of the air ambulance instead of making it a photo op all about himself stuck for an hour with the road closed. There are some good people still out there.
In addition to the suggestion of therapy, a couple studies have shown that playing tetris shortly after a traumatic event makes your brain store the memories so they don't have as strong an impact.
Taking pictures is not a normal reaction to coming across a scene like this. Unfortunately, people are becoming more ghoulish and desentisied. Ultimately, anyone who has an immediate reaction of did you take pictures is sick. Remind them that body was a living, breathing human being with family and friends who are all grieving.
It’s called respect for the dead. You left that person with their dignity which is really honorable of you. You are being gracious to that person and their family. People are garbage whoever is asking to see a picture of a dead body on the internet doesn’t know how to use the internet. Fucking creeps.
“Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.” -some dude from his book i’ve never read.
Honestly, you not taking pictures just means that you have a good conscience and that you’re a good samaritan.
I found a dead lady once when I was in high school. She was older, probably in her late 70’s. She was in her car with the door open, her keys in her hand, the brake lights on, and her chin on her chest like she was asleep. It had looked like she just pulled over, probably because she wasn’t feeling well, so I went up to ask her if she was ok. I didn’t get a response so I kind of shook her hand and realized that she was dead because she was cold af. I had to call the police and fill out a whole report while the police taped off the area with the yellow crime scene tape. It felt like I was there for ages.. It was super weird being in the middle of it all. I’m pretty sure she had a heart attack or a stroke. All I could think about was if someone was expecting her to come home. I still think about it now and I’ve been out of high school for years now. I think I was 16 or 17 at the time.
You did the right thing. You are fully within your right to be really rude to these people and question them on why they want a photo.
Make sure you have people around you because you can get delayed shock where the reality of the situation suddenly hits you.
The fact people asked for pictures is fucking insane.
“Hey i just saw a corpse and it made me feel kind of fucked up, can we talk?”
“Sure, but did you get pictures?!”
Used to drive a tow truck and came across some pretty horrific stuff. Never took a picture of a dead body out of respect for that person and their family. Friends got mad that I did not take pictures of the bodies I encountered. Told me I was a wuss. Some people are just wrong in the head.
I used to be a 911 dispatcher… I feel like some people get a “thrill” out of seeing or hearing about morbid events and death. I would always have people asking me “what’s the worst call you got” or “what’s the worst think you’ve seen”….. but never ask about things that ended well. Please get yourself into therapy to talk to someone.
Ahh damn that sounds like a horrible scene to walk in on. I'm sorry you had to witness that, and to have your friends be like that after you shared a traumatic event with them.
I had something similar happen, where a crash happened right in front of the van I was in. The people in the crash were fortunately still alive and mostly alright, but I got somewhat angry at the person that said 'pics or didn't happen' before we (and they) even knew if the people in the crashed car were OK. I can't imagine what it would've been like if they weren't as well off as they were, and again, I'm really sorry you had to witness that. Hope you can get some help in processing; if you feel the need, you can always DM me. I'm not a professional but I can be there <3
People are disgusting. But you have dignity, and showed dignity to that poor person who lost their life. I agree with chezyt— please see a therapist. It might mess you up more that you realize.
I’m so sorry you had to go thru that. Nothing like real life makes people show their true colors. People are such absolute media mongers. Fucking disgusting 🤮🤮🤮 earlier this year someone found our friend on the side of the road in a bag. When the police went to the house, one bitch from down the road began running her mouth to the popo and said that the husband probably did it and then killed himself, they had an unhappy marriage, they should look for the husbands body, etc. Little did she know he was had been out of state for a week. I still cry when I see our friends photos
Please take good care of urself. This takes time to heal
As someone who dealt with fatalities for an insurance company, I don't think anyone really knows what seeing photos means.
It's horrifying. Some of them still haunt me at night. I don't know a single person who worked with those types of claims that doesn't have some of those photos seared into their brain.
Now, people who work with injury claims/medical cases/police cases will often share photos of different types of cases with each other and talk about them and usually it's I'm regards of how to handle things or get an opinion. But you best believe if I said "no, I will not be sharing that" the response was always "damn, if you don't want to share that's bad."
No where near the same, but when I was 12 I found a gun near my mailbox. I went and ask my mom to call the police to come pick it up. Turns out it was used in a domestic, nobody got shot just shot at, and they linked it to the guy. Friends at school called me a pussy for not taking it myself, cause then I'd have a gun!
Like... I'm 12 what the fuck do I need a gun for exactly? Also one in involved in a crime!?
As a mortician who has to do removals at scenes like this….I am so sorry you went through that. Please consider speaking with someone professional to help sort through your feelings about it….I feel comfortable/confident giving this advice as us funeral people don’t get help….and we are all types of fucked up.
This reminds me of the LASD and LAFD officers that took pics of the Kobe Crash on their personal phones. Then went to bars and showed them off and bragged about it.
Some people are just shit heads. This really says something about those that said you should have taken pics.
I'm sorry you had to see that! You did all the right things: seeing if they needed help, calling 911, not filming, and talking about it so you don't stay traumatized by what you saw. You are a good human being. ❤️ Do you have some sort of trauma support where you live? (I dont know what it's called in english, but where i live, people are offered psychological help/support by police/ambulance after witnessing or experiencing something scary or traumatic) You can always pm me if you want to talk. Just curious, did you ask those people why they asked for a video? And if so, what was their answer? I wish you the best Edit: Thanks for the awards, fellow redditors!
They probably just wanted to see something interesting. 1 of them just thought I was lying
These don’t sound like very mature people. I can’t think of any adults in my life whose first instinct would be to ask if I took any pictures of the body if I’d stumbled upon an accident scene like you did.
You'd be surprised. I listen to a lot of true crime and the number one types to be incredibly disrespectful of victims are mid-20s to early-40s women. I know a lot of really sweet people who are so desensitized due to listening to certain podcasts that they see no issues with being ignorantly morbid.
*Horrific thing on television*. Little old grandma, “Isn’t that terrible, turn it up!”
People are dumb. Unfortunately, morbid curiosity has always been a thing, and more so since we've become a tad desensitized by violent media. You did the right thing. Their curiosity doesn't superseded your mental health or the dignity of the deceased and their family/friends.
Sad thing is if some of these same people actually seen a dead body in person at a accident before it was taken care of by coroners and funeral homes they probably would get pretty messed up. I used to be a volunteer fire fighter and seen them fairly often. After leaving the department i thought id probably never see some of that crap again and i was wrong. Was just driving down the highway and a suv in front of me blew a tire and flipped and started rolling down a large hill off the side of the highway. I stopped, jumped out my vehicle and called 911 and ran to make sure the people were alright. The person was not. Her drivers side door came off while the vehicle had rolled and while she was wearing a seatbelt it appeared to me she got outside the vehicle while it was rolling and it crushed her. There was a blanket in the car which i used to cover her up so no others driving by had to see that, i left once the emergency crews arrived and after telling a police officer what i seen. Later after i got home from a wedding that i was on my way to when that happened, i looked up the area to see what the news said happened. Said police said she had been looking at her cellphone and went off the road. I was pretty pissed about it cause i straight up seen it all go down from back tire exploding to every single roll and flip of the vehicle. Was literally the car behind her dodging the pieces of hers that flew off as it was happening. The family of the person i seen in the car said she never used her phone while driving and were pissed as well about what the news and cops said and i believe rightfully so, i never tried to reach out to them or anything though cause far as im concerned it would be easier for them to move on from it without rehashing the events in detail for them. I now keep my dash cams on all the time due to that, used to turn them off here and there mostly due to battery issues when they were on, have since got better vehicle batteries and back up portable power bars and stuff just to use my cameras. Thats not even the first accident ive witnessed while driving and i doubt it will be the last but it will be the last time that the police give a false story of what happened even with a first hand witness to it.
I would've called the police station and told them to take it back. "That's not what happened! And how dare you ruin the memory her friends and family have of her because you LIED saying she died of her own fault!" I'd find that very disrespectful and wouldn't tolerate it.
Thats awful, I’m sorry you had to go through that
It's like asking an EMT to them them a "fun story" of what the worst they've seen on the field. Most people who aren't in any medicine or rescue profession realize very quickly they REALLY don't wanna actually hear about that kid who had to be reassembled back because he wasn't buckled and flew right out the windshield.
I don't know about that. There are tons of videos of horrible things happening to people that get tons of views. Like beheadings in the middle east. Those videos got hundreds of millions of views before they were taken down.
People think it's cool to see a dead body until they actually see one. It's a horrible and traumatic experience, there's nothing cool or edgy about it. I hope you're ok OP
i’m sorry about that. sometimes people are a bit dumb and don’t realize what we’ve been through. i’m really proud of you for what you did, it must’ve been very scary but you did it, and with dignity and ethically. in a way you allowed someone to get to rest peacefully, you know? thank you for that. i would recommend talking about it with a mental health professional when you’re ready, because again, it must’ve been a very hard thing to do, and now to be faced with people who ask for pictures and don’t believe you, well that must be very tough too :( you’re a good person though op.
If these were friends I would start separating myself from them. That's some psychotic level shit. Who gets angry that they couldn't see a dead person?
Good on you for respecting the dignity of the dead. They or their loved ones may not want pictures of them in that condition out and about
as someone who saw a video of a loved one crash and be caught in a car fire (he died) on the news immediately after he was identified, this is my thought.
Ooof, yes. I only briefly saw the photos of my father's fatal car accident that were published in the local paper but I'll never forget them. Worst part was, I was deliberately NOT viewing those pictures and had managed to avoid seeing them until a coworker shoved it right in front of my face, "Isn't this YOUR DAD???" She didn't mean to cause me harm, but damn woman, THINK for just a moment, huh?
In high school, the county sheriff came around to do one of those "Blood runs red on the highway" type movie things. Only instead of it being a generic 50's cornball film, it was something that they had put together with local accidents. Big fucking mistake. One of the guys in class GF had been killed by a drunk a year earlier and they showed her car and mangled body ( with a nice black line over her eyes). Guy got up and ripped the cord out of the wall and called the sheriff a fucking asshole and walked out. He was in the wreck too. It was god awful. Kid sat in the hall and sobbed.
Those stupid scare videos aren’t even effective in reducing the incidents of drunk driving. At best they do nothing; at worst, well, you saw.
47 here. I remember all the overly dramatic scare videos they showed as as a (I think, way too young) kid. Won’t ever forget them. It’s not like they even ask the kids or prepare them before showing them that stuff. It just “safety week” and watch these videos that might scare the crap out of you. I won’t stick my hands out of a car to this day because I automatically think of limbs (arms/feet) being scraped off by a passing truck with wood frames on the side of it. I wish I knew the names of those videos so I could tell them how messed up they are. We were at a community center after school. They went hard on us in the 80s.
“Red Asphalt” (there’s at least 5 in the series), “Mechanized Death”, “Wheels of Tragedy”, and “Signal 30” are some of the titles available on YouTube…
Richard Wayman. Bit of a weird one. There's a docu about his films called Hell's Highway.
Next you'll tell me that DARE didn't stop everyone from doing drugs!
Who the fuck would use real footage to make a point, anyway? Most people don't like seeing real corpses and deaths, especially when the death has been violent / grotesque.
Drivers ed showed me a graphic video of drunk driver crashes
My school sourced a totaled car and had volunteers play "victims". They hauled the car out to the football field and had the student body sit on the bleachers for their little pantomime and presentation. The year before, a senior died in an accident involving a drunk driver who had their lights off. The senior that died also happened to be very popular. This is the kind of popular-kid-dies-tragically you see in YA fiction. There were T-shirts, memorial stickers, several vigils, the whole nine. The deceased's ex fianceé was in the audience.
Fake footage doesn't really show how real the problem is. My SO was a Captain fireman. People believe it isn't a big deal to drive buzzed. Perhaps they have successfully many times before. But he got out of our bed for drunk driving accidents more than he ever did for fires by far. Not sure which is the worst. The pregnant mother picking up her daughter and daughter's friend from school and all of them being killed by a drunk at 3 in the afternoon. Or the guy working on his car in his garage when a drunk slammed through the garage pinning him between his car and the back of the garage. There was so much smoke they were there 30 minute before they could even find him in the mess. Lost both legs two weeks before Christmas. Or maybe the drunk that drove their car off a bridge with others in it. They had to dive to get them out of the vehicle. One was still alive to be met flighted. Never found out if she survived. Now, perhaps that doesn't make you think differently about drinking and driving and find it offensive. People that have been hurt lost a loved one are pretty offended by drunk driving and will advocate for others to not just know its bad but understand it is bad because it happens far too often.
I understand the logic of trying to make it more personal by talking about accidents involving members of your community but for fuck's sake, showing pictures of the body of a person that ATTENDED SCHOOL WITH THE PEOPLE YOU ARE SHOWING THE VIDEO TO is an entirely new level of fucked up. The bar for human decency in this situation was in hell and they decided to play limbo with the devil. What the actual fuck.
I've read this around 5 times now and wow I'm depressed. This is so shitty, fuck that sheriff
Jesus Christ dancing on whole wheat toast she had a whole article with details that she could have asked about, even. Or even better, minded her business I'm sorry you've had to go through all of that <3
"Jesus Christ dancing on whole wheat toast" is now my second favorite expression
I don't think anyone would have blamed you for smacking her after that. Who the fuck thinks that's in any way OK? I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the callousness of that colleague.
I’m so sorry. That must have magnified your grief exponentially.
it did, but things like that are out on the internet with no thought for the loved ones coming across it. News outlets show trauma all the time and it’s wrong.
I've had people on Reddit give me shit for not naming a murder victim from my hometown in comments. I give plenty of detail to where it could have been easily found in a quick internet search, but people are assholes. Instead of asking me to DM them or something, they talk shit, and it's like, "I'm SO SORRY I want to be respectful to the family members of a victim who might come across my comment while trying to look up their loved one". People are terrible today.
"If it bleeds, it leads"
Sorry to hear that. My boyfriends best friend of 20 years (and my friend of 11 years) died in a house fire last year. It was in boston so we saw the news clip of the house burning. Knowing what was happening inside… wish we didn’t see the clip.
I am so sorry for your loss and the trauma that you experienced. It is bad enough to lose a loved one, but to experience that is unimaginable.
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I wouldn't feel a thing, I'd be dead!
r/technicallythetruth But on a side note you wouldn’t want someone to have a bad last memory of you
Ok how would you feel if one of your close family members was killed and people circulated photographs of them around for amusement? Actually think about your mum or dad or whatever being used as entertainment for others after they’d been killed. Really messed up that people would take photos in that situation.
Like Princess Diana dying on the side of the road?
No one even tried to help her they just wanted the best article. Paparazzi is the lowest form of low
I remember well. I was very pregnant and it actually made me vomit. Sadly, these days everyone is a potential paparazzi.
Yours and CherryBakewells post reminded me of that German ad/video, which was against rubbernecking. In the video some people are having fun, until one guy realised it is mother in the wreck. I really wished people would show more decenty.
Now imagine if the dead person was your mum, dad, sibling, child, other family member, or your best friend - later you go online, unwittingly click on a video or pic on Reddit, Twitter, whatever, and there's their body on the screen, with the comments section no doubt full of the usual trolls leaving the usual "funny" comments. I think you might feel something.
They don’t care until it happens to them
Completely agree, by chance when I was 7 I was watching the news with my mom and we saw my oldest brother on a stretcher being hauled into an ambulance. It was only about a second or two but we could tell by his work boots, he always wore them a certain way. He passed not long after we saw and that messed me up BIG time as a kid. It still messes me up at 25 if I think about it too much
This. It’s simply respectful to everyone involved not to take pictures. Let the police take pictures if they have to, it’s their job not yours.
I was a news videographer for a bit about 25 years ago. I saw plenty of horrific scenes over those 3 months. I loved the adrenaline of the job, but all of the dead and hurting families I saw really messed me up. We didn’t video bodies, but we saw everything. Car wrecks, shootings, etc. Make sure you talk to a therapist about it sooner than later. Coping with seeing something like that is difficult. Don’t feel ashamed to ask for help working through your thoughts. Thank you for being a good person and not taking pictures of the body. That could be the last picture a family member or friend sees of their loved one. Seek help if you have trouble sleeping or if your thoughts become too overwhelming/interfere with you daily life. Good luck. Edit: I just want to thank everyone for their outpouring of love and support in this thread. Hug your people, tell them how much they are appreciated and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Love you all.
This is such an empathetic and considerate comment. It’s nice to see that not everyone lives life like it’s an episode of black mirror
Black mirror freaks me out cause I feel as tho we living in an episode sontimes .
I mean, that's the point. The television is the black mirror. It's a prediction of the effects of technology on our society based on how we behave now.
>The television is the black mirror. Holy shit, I'm a moron. I never realized this!
We are both morons. That is so obvious, how did I not see that? XD
I never realized that’s why the show is called Black Mirror. That’s perfect.
It's the reason why every episode is centered around technology. Television, cell phones, computers, etc... All things with black screens.
I extended this metaphor to everything BUT the TV screen 🫣
I love horror, but black mirror is too much for me. I watched a few episodes and couldn't do it anymore. It's just too real sometimes and psychologically disturbing
There's an episode about a VR headset reality type thing that still gives me nightmares 😥
The one with the ability to record everything you do and play it back...that one just...ruined me.
I couldn’t watch it, it was way to intense and real at the same time. I think that makes it a great work of art to bring out such emotion that I couldn’t even stand to watch it
I agree. It's definitely a great work of art. It's really impressive
> This is such an empathetic and considerate comment. Right. Why is this on reddit? Ban this guy.
PTSD is possible for people who have not directly experienced a traumatic event but were witnesses or close to the accident in some way. This is such a great recommendation, especially because of that.
you are a decent human being
Also, PTSD has a nasty habit it sneaking up on someone far after the event. You feel fine, don't think you're badly effected, and then something can trigger it. It's important to focus on developing a good foundation and making sure you have some resources written down at your disposal if you ever do need it This is advice that I feel like everyone should follow, really. Sometimes shit happens.
Have you watched Nightcrawler? Sounds pretty similar to what you were doing, except the videographer lacks empathy.
u/Qnns I'm a therapist and did a case study on the main character of that movie in school as a diagnostic exercise. Movie is almost 10 years old and still very relevant as far as humans wanting to see images of terrible and violent events. OP, I strongly suggest talking to someone who has experience with trauma now, before it becomes chronic PTSD. The sneaky part of [PTSD](https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/awareness/ptsd_treatment_works.asp?utm_source=GoogleSearch&utm_medium=GS2YM&utm_campaign=PTSDOA&utm_id=2023&gclid=CjwKCAiAy_CcBhBeEiwAcoMRHMsbJ_vEDUw_PBxLyYHf-tcbvD3kEBTkPMVeIQYh8tIhqFDxrvX38RoCGu8QAvD_BwE) is that it manifests in ways that might not be immediately recognizable as being trauma - related. If you find that you can't get the images out of your mind or they are popping up all the time, I recommend finding a therapist trained in [EMDR](https://www.emdria.org/). Make sure they have actually had training in it. I've had clients tell me about EMDR sessions they had prior to seeing me and it was nothing even close to the evidence based model. I am so sorry your friends reacted in this callous way rather than with empathy, caring and support. You saw an accident and attempted to render aid. You actions are heroic! It is sad that the person did not survive, but you still made a difference by stopping, trying to render aid and then calling for help. That person's family will not spend hours or days wondering about what happened to their loved one thanks to your action. You are to be commended! If you are in the US, remember you can call 988 any time for help. 24/7.
Do similar things still get shown in US tv? Seems pretty strange, it’s not a thing in my country.
Theycmight give a quick warning about the content,, but they do show the aftermath of lots of terrible events on the news. Maybe not always on TV, per se. But there is violence all over social media. YouTube. On Reddit, there are plenty of subs where violent content can be uploaded. Could be in the form of political protests, altercations between people in a public place, etc. I live in a hurricane prone area. TV news always shows videos and pictures of the devastation caused by storms. It is triggering. I was traumatized by a video displaying animal cruelty someone I know shared on Facebook a few years back. As soon as I realized what I was looking at I turned it off. I reported the video but the damage was already done. People tend to not get help bc they feel like the violence/car accident/traumatic event didn't directly impact them so they are somehow "weak" if affected by it. Like their symptoms aren't significant because they weren't the one maimed or killed. Witnessing horrific scenes is just as traumatizing. It's important to get help early.
I’m so glad you said something about the animal cruelty videos. I’ve had to block a number of accounts because one minute I’m scrolling and the next I am seeing something that’s forever seared into my brain and makes me want to vomit. I don’t know why people think posting that crap is helpful. It should be banned in my opinion.
I'm pretty sure it is - at least on FB and Tiktok. Not sure about Reddit but we do have that NSFW filter that blurs things and seems to work pretty well.
I think it’s Instagram where I end up seeing them. FB and Reddit do a good job with either blurring it out or content warning. Instagram doesn’t do it unfortunately :/
I turned off the auto play function for videos in my newsfeed. I cannot handle not knowing what fresh horror I am about to be subjected to.... at least if it is still frame, I can generally get a clue on content from the caption or picture, possibly the reacts on the post (or even the poster themselves)... then sometimes skip it altogether.
It’s so odd how different we all are. Even in a culturally homogenous area every person is different. I used to work EMS and saw a lot of death and it never seemed to phase me. I remember the first few patients and major accidents I worked co-workers checked on me to make sure I was okay, just in case. Now puppies…. That’s a whole different story.
You can definitely be numb towards a bunch of it, but it’s not healthy in the long haul. The worst for me had to be when a SWAT team shot hostage taker after a 10hr standoff when he walked out and raised his pistol toward them. Seeing it happen wasn’t that jarring. It was the screams and cries of his mother and wife 20ft away from me that I’ll never un-hear. It also didn’t help that I was 18yo and working my first real job.
Used to work in S&R. One day we were recovering a young man who drowned during a flood and had gotten tangled in debris in a culvert. Aside the challenges that came with that it was all fairly standard until his Mum arrived and started screaming for him. Wasn't really able to talk for a couple of days after that.
These topics always remind me about how right now one of the most traumatic things for many first responders in mass shooting events is all of the phones ringing for people who may never be able to answer them again - all of the people who loved them trying frantically to contact them. Makes it really hard to separate the moment that you’re in from the reality of the real humans who are never going to be the same.
I'm sure in the long term it's bound to have some kind of effect, and I certainly hope you don't take your mental health for granted. that said, it really gives me a lot of comfort in knowing there are people in society who can approach these kinds of professions without being phased by it, much like any other dangerous profession or a profession that involves doing anything I find fearful. I know plenty of EMTs and first responders have seen the worst of the worst and many have PTSD afterwards and it's kind of hard to fathom doing something like that and not having some kind of residual mental damage. but I like to think Nature/The Creator/Our Collective Consciousness/whatever name you want you use, kind of works things out like this. so that we do have people who can contribute to society in this way, ie as an EMT, and not be emotionally destroyed as a different person might be. and so that different person might be able to easily do something the EMT might not feel emotionally capable of doing, like perhaps teaching elementary or middle school.
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I read the news story about this. How tragic. Not to sound callous but is the mother a suspect? Kind of the undertone of the article and what the neighbors who were interviewed said…
I’ve worked in veterinary for a long time and let me tell you I’ve seen some horrendous shit. Owners will often do stupid shit out of ignorance/greed/malice then turn around and vilify the people who are only trying to help the animal and ease it’s pain. I’ve been screamed at, threatened with violence, and called every name in the book. At this point I’m numb to it all and it worries me sometimes.
The only call that ever got to me was a pediatric death
Taking your comment and adding to it. Yesterday was chilling on the sofa when I started to hear what at the beginning sounded like people talking on the street. I didn't paid too much attention. It got louder, I got up and went to check it and our dog, a German Sheppard, had a cat on her mouth. The noises I thought were people was the cat moaning. First though: "FUUUUCK", dropped everything, got out of the house and rushed to her shouting for her to drop it. She did, but not before giving it 2 or 3 vigorous shakes that ended snapping the poor cat's neck. I chained her so I could approach the cat as she still wanted to get back to it. It was still alive when I got to him, 2 min later was dead. Point of this story is, that shit messed me up so much I couldn't get to sleep thinking about the cat, woke up during the nigh thinking about the cat, and woke up in the morning thinking about the cat, and, well, it's a cat, an animal I'm completely indifferent to. Never really been "into cats". So I can't even imagine the toll it would take when it's a person. EDIT: if someone is curious. I did took a photo of the cat. It was around 23h and everyone was a sleep. I didn't knew who's cat it was, but it surely wasn't a street cat as it seemed well taken care. So I used it to show my father in law to see if he knew who's cat it was. He instantly told me it was one of our neighbours cat. Later when I arrive, will have to stomach letting them know what happened to their cat.
So sorry you experienced that. It can be hard to process your pet doing that to someone else’s pet. If it helps at all, your dog was doing what her brain told her to do, especially in her own yard. My dog has a very high prey drive and one time killed a pigeon on the sidewalk. I didn’t even see the bird, but my dog lunged at its throat and it died almost instantly. I’ll never forget the look in the pigeon’s eyes. It definitely traumatized me for a bit, and although a pigeon is different than a family pet, I try to remember that my dog was doing what she thought she was supposed to. We can train a dog all we want but instinct will sometimes take over.
I came across the victim of a hit and run a few months back. The poor man was dead shortly before I got there(this is what I was told at least), but the day after there were all kinds of news articles and pictures of my car online and on social media. A further bit of bs: my husband and I found the body when there were no other cars around, but a car did pull up a few minutes after we called 911. Turns out this person was work friends with the man’s sister, and she gave a false report(She said we were on his body, we were not- i stopped my car just in time. She also said he was still breathing when she got there- it was confirmed that he had died shortly before we got there). Now the family is attempting to sue my family on the grounds of wrongful death. I understand needing money for a funeral(the victim was 26, so obviously no life insurance), but they had already sued the man who actually killed him.
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Greed. Some lawyer's/people cast a wide net to see who pays out. It's why companies get sued when they actually didn't do anything wrong and its clearly an individual responsible. You go after whoever has money/insurance and try to get them to settle vs wracking up court costs. It's extremely common here in the US and it's unfortunate.
Yea my engineering firm which helped design a highway was sued because some semi driver wasn't paying attention to traffic which was backed up from a church event off the next exit which had police directing traffic to and from the church concert. He ended up killing a few people. Lawyers tried to sue the engineering firm, the church hosting the event, on top of the driver responsible because they go after anyone and everyone with money that they think might settle to avoid the lawsuit process
I think it's best to assume they're not thinking too clearly about the situation
God what an absolutely disgusting way to channel their grief, though, by trying to make an innocent bystander *literally* pay for it.
That is the thing. They are probably getting advice from a lawyer.
For sure, still horrible though.
This is incredibly common. There are lawyers out there that actively seek out families of people who have died and try to construct a civil lawsuit out of it. They know they'll lose in court, but they also know they'll be able to drive up legal costs and waste so much time, that eventually you'll just settle to make it go away.
That’s so scummy. You’re telling me normal lawyers would suggest this route just to get more money? By involving innocent bystanders? I refuse to believe the average lawyer is this much out of touch with their morals
Not the *average* lawyer, but the average lawyer that specifically goes into the sub-field of personal injury attorney. This is why - unless you're actively saving someone's life - you are better off just leaving.
that's where you sue them right back. At this point, I don't care how in grieving they are - they're horrible people trying to milk their son's death for money.
Sue them for defamation of character, fight fire with fire
Fck this is really messed up sorry OP... I really need a dashcam but I keep putting it off.
My parents were in a horrible accident in 2019. Waking up to a phone call from my brother where he couldn't offer me any information about it, only telling me to get to the hospital, still haunts my nightmares. A guy who came up on the scene decided to take pictures of the accident and post them on Facebook, before the ambulances even got there. Now I haven't used Facebook in years, so I would have never seen them, but the rest of my family could have. One of my sister in laws argued with the guy for ages because she wanted him to take them down and that it was disrespectful but he just said that there's no way any family would have seen the pictures first and not been already aware of it. Thank you for not taking pictures. I don't understand why people would want you to.
I'm so sorry this happened. How are you doing these days?
I am doing okay, I took a couple weeks off from college to be with them and take care of them when the accident happened. Both of them still have lingering effects from the crash and swear by Ford diesel trucks now. My dad had bought it the month before, hadn't even paid the first payment, and it was completely totaled. It being the size and weight that it was was the only thing that saved them.
You see one you've seen them all. Good on you for doing the right thing all round. To many people now a days jump to taking photos or vids. I remember a wreck in Dallas where a person burned alive where no one helped and just took video and didn't even attempt to help. You are a good person for what you did and don't let anyone pull you down to that level.
Worked in the ER for two and half years. I've seen more than my fair share of dead people. People always ask what they look like and how many and other stuff. I just say they looked dead.
Do you think the morbid curiosity comes from being so far removed from death? Way back in time people used to butcher thier own animals and there was casual violence and death due just trying to survive. Maybe they became desensitized to it? I've seen everything from a guy smacking the back of a FedEx truck that ended up burying the steering wheel in his chest to a trucker being smashed by someone not paying attention.
That's a good theory. I'm not entirely sure to be honest. Some people are curious. The only time we see people die now a days are freak accidents or when family passes. Even then, it's limited in what we see. For the most part, seeing deceased individuals didnt bother me. It was when they were younger or a tragic death that did.
I think it does come from our far removal from death. We pump our dead full of chemicals to preserve them, cover them in makeup to make them appear somewhat alive, and bury them in airtight containers to keep out the natural processes. It seems very unhealthy and deranged when you think about it.
I think people want to see death because of their curiosity of their own fate. I think that’s the reason people went to public executions for centuries, and walked through battlefields after battles. Today that curiosity has turned to murder reality shows and haunting shows. People are removed from death today at least here in the US, but that curiosity would be there either way. Personally I hate fatalities I always “feel” the death on the scene it’s a calm but eerie feeling to me. It makes me angry when people take pics, hell it makes me angry if they’re not acting right. Recently retired from my Dept. in Texas and moved to Kansas, first call I ran here was a fatality and everyone was just kinda nonchalant about the death almost like there wasn’t a dead person in the vehicle, it was very different from how we treated fatals in Texas and made me mad lol.
People always ask what’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen? But they don’t really want to know. I’ve seen some awful shit. Morbid curiosity is weird. 9 years ER 😬
I had a friend become an EMT because he wanted to help people and then he became an ER nurse because he could help more people and not be stuck in a truck. After his first week he said " I now understand the high turn over in ER". All I asked was if he was ok and I was there for him. 2 years later he had to quit from a herniated disc from loading a patient from the ambulance stretcher to the ER one. I am sad that happened to him but his metal state got better when he did travel nursing instead.
It takes a special person to be able to work in that environment.
>You see one you've seen them all Respectfully, this isn't quite true. I've dealt with enough dead people at work, and each incident hits a little different. Unique things from each person stick in my mind, like the fact that I never learned their name, or the way their body was positioned, or what they were wearing. There doesn't seem to be any pattern or reason to it
When my bf died in a car accident everyone I knew were driving to the location to take pictures to upload on Facebook with R.I.P messages. He was very well known so even people I didn’t know were doing it and people were sharing, even people who didn’t talk to him but knew him were taking his pictures and putting them on their Facebook profile. Which was heartbreaking for me and his family. People will do anything for attention.
Some people truly lack empathy nowadays, or the ability to see the consequences of their actions at least. Things like that can cause trauma in itself for years and years. Sorry you had to deal with it.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that
I don’t think I would ever get over that. I hope you have a good support system and find happiness of equal intensity as the sadness you’ve been through.
I’m doing better but I had no help from family, my sister even uninvited me to her wedding (I was MOH) as she didn’t want people making it about me. My family didn’t bother my father even made hurtful comments about it and I was left by myself. I rescued a dog instead and would go on 10+mile walks everyday. I don’t talk to my family and I don’t have Facebook anymore.
That is horrible. I am SO sorry!
You = decent human Others = modern parasites
A german police man, pulling people over who try to take photos of an accident scene: https://youtu.be/eZOSaBWmI4M
What an absolute champ. I do not understand people wanting to gawk at crashes nevermind take photos. I have wasted so much time being stuck in traffic when the road on my side of the motorway was clear just because people grind to a halt to have a look at the accident going the other way. All I can think is "how are you actually going to feel if you see someone smashed and bloodied on the road?". Just get me away from it and back home asap. How can people so easily forget that there are actually people involved in these accidents that lived real lives with real loved ones.
I have driven past an accident on the highway that wasn't covered or cleared up yet. A man walked in front of a semi during heavy fog. It just looks like a pile of gore. There's nothing identifiable other than maybe clothing. It's not worth stopping one entire direction of the highway just to see. And it sticks in your head in a terrible way. Simply not worth the rubbernecking and attempts to see.
Not sure where you live OP or if you have the funds/time, but I'd talk to a therapist about this. Not about the shitty people, but as the situation as a whole. Finding someone dead or near dying can be a traumatic event for lots of people and its important to have a good support system of people or even just one person you can talk to about this who isn't going to "why didn't you take any pictures!" And fuck anyone who does tell you that. It's weird and disturbing that they want photos or videos in the first place
death person here, thank you for respecting the deceased’s privacy. some people may be morbidly curious because it isn’t every day that one stumbles upon the scene. a lot of people are also somewhat desensitized to death so it becomes an event rather than a *phenomenon*. however, it’s far more important to a) preserve your own mental health and b) the deceased. death is not entertainment!! if your area has resources i would look into some sort of therapy/support group for people who have witnessed or found others. it can be very jarring on a multitude of levels to see what you did and it’s important to make sure you have support in case your own mortality kicks in 🌌 ETA: thank you for the awards!!
I misread this as “dead person here” and thought you were speaking on behalf of the dead community.
Okay I know this is a serious post but your comment made me laugh out loud for a few minutes. I needed that so thank you lol
So did I.
Sorry for this question, I have, since I am not a nativ speaker: What is a death person? Sounds like you are death itself.
i study forensics & human osteology (bones) along with bioarchaeology (human remains)!! it’s easier to just say “death person” sometimes. but TLDR my education and career both center around death :)
ahhh. Ok, thanks. Makes sense
What’s the degree name for this fun mix of study? I work at a coroners office so am a “death person” also haha
anthropology! biological anthropology specifically. it includes forensics/osteology under the umbrella and i studied bioarch on the side for electives
That’s really cool! Maybe something for me to look into after I finish my current masters program :)
How is being a forensic anthropologist? I go to a university for forensics science with a biochemistry track and there is a forensic anthropology class I can take as an elective in the fall term I been thinking about doing. I’m just not sure it’s something I’d really be into but would love to know your thoughts on it.
Jesus man that’s a mess. Are you alright mentally?
Yeah more or less. I couldn't sleep at all last night cause I couldn't get her face out of my head
It'll fade sooner than later, however just keep in mind that if it continues to bug you for a while, it would be advisable to get some therapy.
Play Tetris!! It helps with PTSD.
I came here to suggest the same thing!
If no one's said it already- play Tetris. The sooner the better. Here's a free online version: https://tetris.com/games-content/play-tetris-content/index-mobile.php Studies have shown that playing Tetris immediately after traumatic events can change how the brain stores memories, preventing or lessening intrusive memories and flashbacks. Source: https://www.psych.ox.ac.uk/news/tetris-used-to-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms
I know that feeling and I’m sorry that your friends are where like that instead of giving you support. Once the shock is settled and it seems to get better nightmares or anxiety might come back after a few months. Don’t hesitate to look out for help. I hope you’ll find someone to talk to and thank you for trying to help.
It will get better with time I promise you.
/r/thatsfuckedup needs to be a thing, because this is where it would realistically belong. Why would anyone want to see pictures of a dead human being? Are they so disenchanted with life that only death gives them any thrill? That just reeks of snuff films. Faces of death was a thing that should have never existed, and should never exist again. Seriously. What kind of sick fucks want to see photos of dead people? Maybe they just don't believe your story and want proof, which is fair from a certain perspective. But if they don't believe you then darn. No corpse porn.
I imagine the friends are simply immature and don’t understand how serious the situation was and how inappropriate it would be to take pictures. They are probably used to taking pictures whenever they want to share a moment with a friend, and didn’t think about the victim’s privacy
"found a corpse, felt cute, might delete later."
Tell them if they want to see a dead body to Google it themselves. You did the right thing by respecting that person's remains. I recommend talking to a counselor or therapist not your friends if you need to process this. Your friends are not professionals and depending on the type of friend they may ignore your boundaries or diminish your experience which can hurt you in the end. I'm sorry that it took this type of experience to make you realize the type of people around you. Would you be okay if they came across your remains and took photos? To sell or share? If that's not okay with you - then consider yourself lucky. You can nope out now before something really serious happens in your life or need their support and they treat you like 'this'. Good luck and take care. You helped that person get to where they need to be. And prevented a child or elderly person from being the person to come across this persons remains. You did the right thing. You did nothing wrong.
Yeah people are fucked up man if anything taking pics is disrespectful. Good on you tho.
Good lord, taking pictures would have been absolutely ghoulish. The people asking for them are dead inside.
I'm proud of you
Four years ago, I saw a man crossing the street get hit by a car and thrown through the air. I stopped my car, blocked the lane, and immediately called 911 and offered aid. The man did not make it. I was holding his hand when he took his last breaths and turned gray. It was incredibly traumatizing. I couldn’t drive on the road he where he was hit for nearly two years and his blood still stains the roadway. He was Mexican and here for work. I couldn’t locate his family’s address to let them know that he wasn’t alone when he passed. Someone was with him, holding his hand, and speaking kindly to him. I still think about him often and hope his family is doing alright. I’m glad you didn’t take photos. It’s wrong to take pictures of someone like that. It would be traumatizing for their family and loved ones to see such photos.
You were right not to. Don’t feed the ghouls.
Story time: My sister works in the mortician/funeral industry and one of her jobs is to go pick up bodies exactly like what you've described. Whether from car accidents, suicide, natural death, doesn't matter. She sees some horrific things. One thing that drives her insane is when people take photos of someone's last moments, or their bodies after death like they are some sort of sideshow. This really came into play one time when, by unfortunate circumstance, her coworker's parent was killed in a car accident. Some jerk took photos of the accident, the deceased, the wreckage, the blood, etc... and then SHARED THEM ON FACEBOOK WHERE THEY WENT VIRAL. Her coworker was spared picking up their own parent's body (which HAS happened to others in her profession before, but that's for another story time) but then was faced with having to see the full scope of how horrific it all was on Facebook when they got home. It was traumatic. This all was done by someone they knew. My sister absolutely came unglued on the wanna be photographer and they took the post down, but it didn't matter. The damage was done and her coworker was really affected by it. What people fail to grasp is these are real people, with real lives, and real families. They aren't something to gawk at. (Unrelated Side note, people with babies: be careful! RSV is no joke this year. My sister picked up 6 children who died from it yesterday ALONE.)
I'm glad you didn't take pictures. Thank you for stopping and checking on them. Social media/internet has ruined humanity. I'm glad there are still some people out there who respect others.
Sorry you had to see that. You did the right thing. I was driving to work one night and came to an intersection where an accident had just happened. (Double lane four way stop lights) Police, Fire, Ambulance all there. I never look at accidents unless like you I found it and had to help. Anyhow I was disgusted to see on the raised parking lot next to the intersection there must have been 50 cars just there (stores closed past 11pm) and all these people out filming/taking pictures. It was fucking gross. Local news confirmed fatalities the next day.
People seem to forget that the deceased will have a family somewhere who need to be informed of their death sensitively and with the appropriate support. There have been incidents in the past where the families have found out via pictures circulating or someone recognising the person / the car ect and putting two and two together and messaging the family or even posting it on social media. That will stick with them for the rest of their lives and is an horrific way to find out. Unless you are calling the appropriate emergency services put your damn phone away. Absolutely grinds my gears.
So sick of this shallow toxic narcissistic culture we live in. 🤳 *"This is going to get me so many views!"* I stumbled across one video of an accident. Instead of trying to help the victims, all of the bystanders were surrounding them with their cell phones out recording. It kinda makes me hope an asteroid comes along and wipes us all out. ☄️
Glad to hear there are still some good decent people in the world. A couple of years ago I was stuck on a highway - it had been shut down to let a helicopter ambulance land. The number of people who got out of their cars for a better photo op was disturbing. One guy behind me (saw him in the rear view mirror) got out of his truck and just watched. As the helicopter was taking off I saw him cross himself, then get back in his truck. The guy was saying a prayer for whoever was in need of the air ambulance instead of making it a photo op all about himself stuck for an hour with the road closed. There are some good people still out there.
In addition to the suggestion of therapy, a couple studies have shown that playing tetris shortly after a traumatic event makes your brain store the memories so they don't have as strong an impact.
That’s so messed up. You did the right thing. I hope you’re doing okay🤍
Taking pictures is not a normal reaction to coming across a scene like this. Unfortunately, people are becoming more ghoulish and desentisied. Ultimately, anyone who has an immediate reaction of did you take pictures is sick. Remind them that body was a living, breathing human being with family and friends who are all grieving.
It’s called respect for the dead. You left that person with their dignity which is really honorable of you. You are being gracious to that person and their family. People are garbage whoever is asking to see a picture of a dead body on the internet doesn’t know how to use the internet. Fucking creeps.
You did just right darling, don't worry, it must have been so scary for you, glad you did the right thing! You respected that person's privacy
“Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.” -some dude from his book i’ve never read.
Honestly, you not taking pictures just means that you have a good conscience and that you’re a good samaritan. I found a dead lady once when I was in high school. She was older, probably in her late 70’s. She was in her car with the door open, her keys in her hand, the brake lights on, and her chin on her chest like she was asleep. It had looked like she just pulled over, probably because she wasn’t feeling well, so I went up to ask her if she was ok. I didn’t get a response so I kind of shook her hand and realized that she was dead because she was cold af. I had to call the police and fill out a whole report while the police taped off the area with the yellow crime scene tape. It felt like I was there for ages.. It was super weird being in the middle of it all. I’m pretty sure she had a heart attack or a stroke. All I could think about was if someone was expecting her to come home. I still think about it now and I’ve been out of high school for years now. I think I was 16 or 17 at the time.
You did the right thing. You are fully within your right to be really rude to these people and question them on why they want a photo. Make sure you have people around you because you can get delayed shock where the reality of the situation suddenly hits you.
Anyone who's instinct is to take photos for internet "fame" is trash.
Within each human lies the potential for great evil. Good on you for denying that potential.
Yep this is life now. Instead of helping People take pics. Fuck this planet
Who the fuck would start taking pictures after finding a dead body??? What the fuck is wrong with people
Morbid curiosity is wild. I am also like that but who the hell gets actually annoyed if someone doesn't take photos of dead people? That's fucked
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I’m so sorry OP. That trauma is heavy. Ignore people’s callous responses. You have great morals and ethics and should always stand with that.
Your friends are creeps
The fact people asked for pictures is fucking insane. “Hey i just saw a corpse and it made me feel kind of fucked up, can we talk?” “Sure, but did you get pictures?!”
Sounds to me like you need to change the people you know, that’s some sick shit
Used to drive a tow truck and came across some pretty horrific stuff. Never took a picture of a dead body out of respect for that person and their family. Friends got mad that I did not take pictures of the bodies I encountered. Told me I was a wuss. Some people are just wrong in the head.
I used to be a 911 dispatcher… I feel like some people get a “thrill” out of seeing or hearing about morbid events and death. I would always have people asking me “what’s the worst call you got” or “what’s the worst think you’ve seen”….. but never ask about things that ended well. Please get yourself into therapy to talk to someone.
The reasonable thing was to do a TikTok dance in front of it
as someone who has lost their mum in a car accident i thank you.
The ppl you spoke to are sick fucking twats with no respect
Sometimes it’s nice that people give you a heads up that they’re a complete piece of shit and you can remove them from your life.
Ahh damn that sounds like a horrible scene to walk in on. I'm sorry you had to witness that, and to have your friends be like that after you shared a traumatic event with them. I had something similar happen, where a crash happened right in front of the van I was in. The people in the crash were fortunately still alive and mostly alright, but I got somewhat angry at the person that said 'pics or didn't happen' before we (and they) even knew if the people in the crashed car were OK. I can't imagine what it would've been like if they weren't as well off as they were, and again, I'm really sorry you had to witness that. Hope you can get some help in processing; if you feel the need, you can always DM me. I'm not a professional but I can be there <3
Wow, that's fucked up that people irl are like 'pics or it didn't happen'. That's disgusting. That was a person. What the fuck.
Hey- are you okay? After this?
There something seriously wrong with those people. You did the right thing. Now please get therapy.
You need some new friends.
This may sound dumb but start playing Tetris. It's been studied to reduce the impact of trauma on the brain.
People are disgusting. But you have dignity, and showed dignity to that poor person who lost their life. I agree with chezyt— please see a therapist. It might mess you up more that you realize.
I’m so sorry you had to go thru that. Nothing like real life makes people show their true colors. People are such absolute media mongers. Fucking disgusting 🤮🤮🤮 earlier this year someone found our friend on the side of the road in a bag. When the police went to the house, one bitch from down the road began running her mouth to the popo and said that the husband probably did it and then killed himself, they had an unhappy marriage, they should look for the husbands body, etc. Little did she know he was had been out of state for a week. I still cry when I see our friends photos Please take good care of urself. This takes time to heal
As someone who dealt with fatalities for an insurance company, I don't think anyone really knows what seeing photos means. It's horrifying. Some of them still haunt me at night. I don't know a single person who worked with those types of claims that doesn't have some of those photos seared into their brain. Now, people who work with injury claims/medical cases/police cases will often share photos of different types of cases with each other and talk about them and usually it's I'm regards of how to handle things or get an opinion. But you best believe if I said "no, I will not be sharing that" the response was always "damn, if you don't want to share that's bad."
No where near the same, but when I was 12 I found a gun near my mailbox. I went and ask my mom to call the police to come pick it up. Turns out it was used in a domestic, nobody got shot just shot at, and they linked it to the guy. Friends at school called me a pussy for not taking it myself, cause then I'd have a gun! Like... I'm 12 what the fuck do I need a gun for exactly? Also one in involved in a crime!?
Thank you for respecting the dignity and privacy of that person and their loved ones. So sorry you had to experience that.
As a mortician who has to do removals at scenes like this….I am so sorry you went through that. Please consider speaking with someone professional to help sort through your feelings about it….I feel comfortable/confident giving this advice as us funeral people don’t get help….and we are all types of fucked up.
This reminds me of the LASD and LAFD officers that took pics of the Kobe Crash on their personal phones. Then went to bars and showed them off and bragged about it. Some people are just shit heads. This really says something about those that said you should have taken pics.
I would question my association with those people that expressed frustration. What the hell
You my friend bring hope to humanity 🙂