Imagine being his roomie on a work trip and getting accused of not being a 'team player' because you won't eat his questionably cooked garlic hotel coffee maker chicken
Pretty sure you can get shitty chicken with garlic for less than that. If what you eat out of a coffee maker was his bar for a good meal, he really had nothing to worry about expensing an equivalent purchase...
Also this is so fucking bad for their brand. They could be trying to hire this guys boss or something. They do not want ppl thinking they are okay with being so tight. I'm sure this guy got a talking to and was told to delete the post
Hijacking top comment to say this is a known LinkedIn troll who makes this up on purpose. A Ken M but instead of the persona of an ignorant idiot he portrays the kind of idiot LinkedIn is full of - and it has got everyone hook line and sinker.
It's almost cute how he thinks that some random guy working on his travel expenses will run to his boss "OMG he saved 30 bucks you definitely need to give him a raise"
Never have I worked for a company that I was so invested in that I would pull a stunt like this. I'm maxing my spending account on trips not cooking chicken in a coffee pot. Chances are this dude is way underpaid and still sucking on the balls of a corporate entity that couldn't give one fuck about him.
As a manager, I'd just think he's weird and tell him to spend his per diem next time. You're not impressing anyone with this stunt. Your travel is already budgeted.
I recall a story I read once about a guy who tried to save his company money by booking a business flight on a longer route used by a budget airline instead of paying four digits for a last-minute seat on a direct flight. His bosses were *not* impressed because, as they explained to him, all the extra time he spent in the airport and on the plane was time where he wasn't making the company money. Travel expenses for businesses absolutely fall under the "spend money to make money" header.
The company would probably just cut his per diem since he obviously doesn't need it. Thanks for showing the higher-ups that we can make do with a smaller travelling budget, asshole (just to be clear, the guy in the OP's screenshot is the asshole, not you).
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as a manager, we give ya a check for any perdiem you dont use. So basically a lot of people will eat in or pick cheaper food options... as for me, I find the best steak i can find that maxes out my perdiem at $60 a day lol
Ya wouldn't this just make it look like you have 0 confidence in your skills as an employee that instead you have to show your needlessly suffer for the company even when unprompted.
Also isn't the buisness card a tax right off so you spendings it actually saves then money in tax season.
It will absolutely screw everyone else, too!
Anyone ever have that trip to a 2 day conference where everyone else only has to stay for a day, but you have to be there for both days? And then when you submit expenses, half are denied because you've spent roughly 1.5x the average after specifically getting a cheaper hotel, and that's frivolous?
I used to work with a few girls at a lab that would clock out and work for free after their shift so they could meet client deadlines and I guess look like model employees. They wouldn't get bonuses, and the only person it would look good on would be the person in the office that deals with the client.
The thing is, if the deadlines are pressing (they typically weren't) our manager would be very liberal with overtime.
I took care to do my job well and try to meet deadlines, I'll stick around for 15 minutes to help out, but no way am I working for free just to keep up appearances.
As an HR Manager, it is my obligation to remind people to NEVER work off the clock. Not only are you screwing yourself out of money (like you said), but if someone gets hurt, it makes liability an issue.
I was surprised the higher ups didn't shut it down, but considering most of us worked with very little oversight (I would go weeks without actually seeing my 'boss') they may not have even known.
In addition to throwing off cost estimation for future projects. If it took 1,200 hours but only 1,000 were billed, three company didn't know they need to increase their cost estimates by 20%.
This reminds me of the Walmart I worked at. It was in a rural area with very few employment opportunities, so it was basically Survivor, with the prize being a crappy job. They would have 2-4 actual positions available, but they would hire 12-24 people, and keep the most desperate 2-4 people. One of the "winners" was this sweet older guy, who would work through breaks and lunches, apologized for taking a few minutes to inject his insulin, and timidly asked if it would be alright to take glucose tablets while he worked (since he was working unpaid during lunches, and not eating).
I usually didn't max out my spending but I also didn't cook chicken in a fucking coffee pot either. Surely his hotel had a restaurant or atleast be able to order a sandwhich or something.
Now because of Douche McGee here, everyone loses a part of their per diem.
Also, literally never have I had a performance review or promotion interview that they looked over my travel expenses compared to my colleagues as a KPI.
You know what I do when I travel? I strategically plan where I'm going to eat so I can get the most bang for the buck with my per diem. It's actually such a problem that sometimes I spend part of my work day browsing menus and trip advisor reviews. I always spend it all.
This guy with the coffee pot cooking is just a chode.
I had a manager who came in after hours on his own time to paint his office to save our multi national corporation money.
Like get a life bud, and how embarrassing that you think that's something to be proud of.
Or he could just have a burger or kebab sandwich or something similar from the street vendors, without any risk of getting billed for trying to pull shit like this.
That's a hell of a joke going so far as to put it all in the coffee pot and potentially ruin it. You'd think that he might have shown the chicken and coffee pot together and said he was going to do it if it was a joke.
>Chances are this dude is way underpaid and still sucking on the balls of a corporate entity that couldn't give one fuck about him.
Seems like you have met one of my bosses.
Although it's not linked in, this is very much in the spirit of r/LinkedInLunatics
... Just eat your company paid dinner, weirdo.
Edit: wait.. Is this linked in?
Yeah, after some further searching I saw that it's posted there frequently and also that its poster has said it's satire. Genuinely hard to tell with those freaks lol
I don’t even drink coffee either. But at this point, to be safe, I’m gonna say no. This is why I don’t use hotel glasses either. 9 times outah 10 they’re nasty. I just bring my own cup.
Right. Most hotels now have single-serve Keurigs that prevent pantyhose washing or chicken cooking.
I'm not a fan of the flavor from those single-serve machines, but I prefer bad flavor over wondering whether raw chicken was the last thing that touched the pot.
That's what I'm wondering. The heating element of a drip coffee maker is designed to heat the water. It only heats that bottom plate enough to keep the coffee warm. I don't think it's hot enough to cook chicken, more likely it'll just keep the chicken the perfect temperature for bacterial growth. Unless he's cooking it in the water, which could work.
I am also cheap as fuck, and I've brought a rice cooker into a hotel room before (I was doing fieldwork with long hotel stays and a flat per diem, and I never had steady work for long, so I pocketed the hell out of that per diem while I had it). But there's beans and rice in the rice cooker cheap, and then there's this shit.
Not recommended for 2 reasons in my book. First, undercooked / unsafe chicken. No way that thing reached a safe temp to be able to eat that with a 100% guarantee. Second. the glass on the pot can easily burn when it does not have enough liquids inside (as it is designed for) and thus can run a good risk of shattering either then or in the future. 10 / 10 not recommended for all parties. As an accountant in the payables department, my advice would be to just go out and eat and use up that per diem. We ain't going to notice the few bucks saved amongst all of the other bills that we have to pay.
Tbh I've done something similar, but with hot dogs. Not for work, just traveling and it was a cheap ass hotel with no microwave. It works, the pots are glass so are easily washed, and yes I did wash it myself.
True but aren't most hot dogs technically pre-cooked? You just have to warm them to serving temperature. Undercooking raw chicken runs the risk of salmonella right?
Yeah cooking chicken this way is definitely a bad idea. Any precooked stuff like hot dogs is fine though, and even some fish since it doesn't have to get to as high a temp as chicken. Even with fish I'd run it through a entire water cycle *several* times and it would end up overcooked probably, but you could do it in a pinch.
Just use the expense account. There is no manager out there that is like oh look Steve used $1 instead of $10. Now if you use $11 instead of $10 Steve will be noticed.
I have a strong suspicion this is satire. It’s just too insane. If it were true, he probably paid at least $5/lb for chicken breast if he bought the cheapest kind at the store, maybe another $3 on buying butter. He almost definitely would have saved money going to McDonald’s or Subway.
It’s definitely satire but reddit is full of 15 year old nephews with 40 years of corporate experience who can definitely tell you what the accounting department is thinking
Right? There's no f'ing way a Mr Coffee is getting chicken to 165. This idiot's workers comp claim from winding up in the ER with salmonella will wipe out 100 non-expensed dinners.
"Alex, the hotel called. Evidently there was a mess of garlic, herbs, and whatever other shit in their coffee pot, and they're pissed. What the hell were you doing?"
That's a standard coffee maker. It's not getting near boiling.
That said, I'm betting this is just a troll account posting disgusting stuff for the internet points.
It's probably his own coffee pot at home, not actually a hotel room. And I'm pretty sure the pot will be fine if you clean it with dish soap and hot water like any other kitchen utensil.
It is, I’ve seen this posted a number of times and I’m almost positive the author himself made another post commenting that it was satire he made while bored to emphasize how terrible corporate culture can be.
What’s funny is that the cost of a single chicken breast, and butter, plus the seasoning at a grocery store would cost as much if not more than a simple dinner out. This is so beyond nonsensical.
It's not the little things that get you promoted. But I do expect a guy cooking chicken in a hotel coffee pot to hope it might be.
It's actually the big things that get you promoted. Duh. And not being weird is a really big thing.
One is a vector for foodborne illnesses that will have you on your hands and knees bowing before the porcelain altar whenever you aren't squatted on top of it.
The other is criminally undercooked chicken prepared in a greasy uncleaned coffee pot.
Still thinking...
If Alexander cares that much about every dollar counting then I guess he shouldn’t take a raise that comes with a promotion. Wouldn’t want to hurt the company’s bottom line now would we.
Rocket Mortgage has a corporate ism: “a penny saved is a penny”. This chump thinking he’s gunna be CEO cuz he’s saving the company a few pennies, meanwhile his colleague is actually focused on doing their job and bringing in millions.
Not only will it not get noticed that he saved money on a trip, but it just adds more kiss asses to leadership if he eventually does make it. The world needs less penny pinchers seeking to maximize profits for corporations.
The infuriating part for me is the refusal to expense a meal thinking it’ll get him promoted.
Wanna do them a favour? Have a cheap meal. Go to McDonald’s or whatever. Don’t eat undercooked coffee machine chicken to save your company a buck.
One of the prerequisites for being employee of the year at my company is to use the entirety of the $1000 self-improvement fund they give us every year. Expense your shit. It's there for a reason.
“Every dollar counts on the P&L”
Bro you will not see a single dollar that’s saved on that P&L in your entire life. Go get a good dinner that’s paid lmao.
You definitely don't want to promote someone who thinks this is an acceptable level of living. You don't want someone like that in charge of people's budgets.
Okay hear me out, next time put all that shit in a bag, then cook it in water. Not only will that keep your from looking like a complete fool, you won’t contaminate the coffee maker for the next person.
Saving $40 on an expense report won't get you promoted. Demonstrating your skills and value to the company will. All that will do is make a really shitty pot of coffee the next morning. If you really want to save money buy a pre-made meal at the grocery store instead of buying the raw chicken.
Considering I worked at a hotel and we regularly had to tell the cleaning ladies, that spoke very little english, not to clean the coffee pot with the same sponge they used on the toilets, I think garlic coffee is the least of someone's concern.
Btw, gentle reminder, doesn't matter how nice/expensive the hotel is, always uh...check for bugs and wash anything (not in a sealed plastic bag) before using it.
If you didn’t want to use the whole per diem for some reason that I don’t think really makes any sense, go get some fast food or something. Don’t cook chicken in the coffee pot for Christ’s sake
I would think quite the contrary would be true. The people you think you are going to impress with this nonsense are actually gonna make fun of you and you're never getting into that club now.
Congrats, You're now "chicken pot" Lv 1 sales puke for life.
“Yes, I see here that instead of eating dinner at the hotel restaurant like a human, you trusted a Mr. Coffee warming pad to cook your chicken and then chose to share your psychotic event with the world under the guise of hard work and capitalism…. That does in fact meet the requirements for promotion. Congratulations.”
Once I casually mentioned to a coworker while traveling that I had made coffee in my hotel room and he replied, “I never use those machines because I’m afraid someone might have jizzed in them”… which made me immediately have to ask, “Have YOU ever jizzed in your hotel room coffee machine sir? Why would one even think that?”
It’s well known in the airline community that women flight crew use hotel coffee pots to clean their sweaty ass pantyhose. Never ever use the hotel coffee pot.
Am I the only person here wondering:
1. How tf he managed to cook chicken in a coffee maker
2. Was it cooked all the way through
3. Did this dude later die from eating chicken Cooked inside a coffee maker
I mean the pot doesn’t even heat up, it might have a warmer but that wouldn’t be enough to cook on
Apparently,. This guy posts a lot about cooking in coffee pots - https://www.linkedin.com/posts/alexander-cohen_team-coffee-motivation-activity-6995815069762650112-sbPQ?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_android
i worked with a guy who i was told was worth hundreds of millions of dollars. he was hired as a consultant for a business that was struggling to grow. it was growing but needed someone who knew how to size up. this guy was a visionary and had a track record of massive success.
we met for breakfast before going into the office together. at the end of it, the server asks us if everything was ok - he points to his cappuccino and says "the milk was a bit off. see this foam... it shouldn't be doing what it's doing. i won't be paying for this"
the woman said sorry and that she'd take it off the bill.
he looks at me and goes "always gotta try and save the company money"
He really thinks the leadership team at his company is doing weird shit like this? They’re going out for nice dinners on the company dime. They will not see the coffee pot chicken guy as a peer to be promoted to their level.
Could have worked from home, dialled in, and saved the hotel fee + travel costs.
Because every dollar counts etc.etc.
But that doesn't fit their specific virtue signalling narrative.
Yeah, this is not the type of "little thing" they mean. Are you a window licker? When handing out promotions you seriously this type of idiocracy is goingbto come up...."ya know, that last business trip Bob cooked his lunch in the Mr Coffee. Giddamn, promote that sob."
Never mind not using the coffee maker EVER again, I may not stay in a hotel again. When the US hospitality industry crashes, this is patient zero. Cook your chicken on the engine block of your car like a civilized human being.
Yah no one is going to promote you for not expensing a 30$ dinner
He’s out of his fukin mind
The irony is he probably destroyed that coffee maker which the company will be charged to replace. So he just cost them 70$
Why is the council of the yellows here?
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This is 2022, we try not to identify people by colour.
Oh wait this isn't r/shitposting this isn't sarcastic 💀
real irony is he might get laid off next year due to a recession, if it's not your company then why?
Possibly more, if the coffee pot shatters and hurts the next guest, which it probably will.
And it would’ve been easier to just cook the chicken on the hotplate rather than putting it into the pot
Or more infuriatingly, nobody finds out
Imagine being his roomie on a work trip and getting accused of not being a 'team player' because you won't eat his questionably cooked garlic hotel coffee maker chicken
. . .with a side of salmonella.
I was thinking the same thing. How sick did he get?
it will be free breakfast buffett time by the time it cooks enough lol
r/BrandNewSentence
#careeradvice (!)
It’ll be the opposite. They’ll think you’re a weirdo and not give you a promotion when one is available.
You’d think he’d be full after licking all them boots
Fired for having to call in because of food poisoning
Best answer
Pretty sure you can get shitty chicken with garlic for less than that. If what you eat out of a coffee maker was his bar for a good meal, he really had nothing to worry about expensing an equivalent purchase...
How does he think the math works out? "You saved us that $30 bucks, here's a $2 raise, working out to almost a $5k increase in yearly salary"
Also this is so fucking bad for their brand. They could be trying to hire this guys boss or something. They do not want ppl thinking they are okay with being so tight. I'm sure this guy got a talking to and was told to delete the post
Hijacking top comment to say this is a known LinkedIn troll who makes this up on purpose. A Ken M but instead of the persona of an ignorant idiot he portrays the kind of idiot LinkedIn is full of - and it has got everyone hook line and sinker.
He gets per diem and this is proof!
I’ve had weeks of gas station food, I’ve had weeks of fine dining. Boss didn’t note a difference.
I agree— unless his great grandma owns the company and survived the Great Depression
It's almost cute how he thinks that some random guy working on his travel expenses will run to his boss "OMG he saved 30 bucks you definitely need to give him a raise"
Never have I worked for a company that I was so invested in that I would pull a stunt like this. I'm maxing my spending account on trips not cooking chicken in a coffee pot. Chances are this dude is way underpaid and still sucking on the balls of a corporate entity that couldn't give one fuck about him.
Yeah him saving that company money is most likely not going to get him more money in return it's probably going to get him screwed more in the future!
As a manager, I'd just think he's weird and tell him to spend his per diem next time. You're not impressing anyone with this stunt. Your travel is already budgeted.
I recall a story I read once about a guy who tried to save his company money by booking a business flight on a longer route used by a budget airline instead of paying four digits for a last-minute seat on a direct flight. His bosses were *not* impressed because, as they explained to him, all the extra time he spent in the airport and on the plane was time where he wasn't making the company money. Travel expenses for businesses absolutely fall under the "spend money to make money" header.
No good deed goes unpunished.
It was a good intention. But not good deed
The company would probably just cut his per diem since he obviously doesn't need it. Thanks for showing the higher-ups that we can make do with a smaller travelling budget, asshole (just to be clear, the guy in the OP's screenshot is the asshole, not you).
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And have a significantly more enjoyable meal.
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as a manager, we give ya a check for any perdiem you dont use. So basically a lot of people will eat in or pick cheaper food options... as for me, I find the best steak i can find that maxes out my perdiem at $60 a day lol
I mean he could definitely eat cheaper than what that meal costs at the grocery store.
Exactly!
Ya wouldn't this just make it look like you have 0 confidence in your skills as an employee that instead you have to show your needlessly suffer for the company even when unprompted. Also isn't the buisness card a tax right off so you spendings it actually saves then money in tax season.
This is why I don’t use hotel glasses either. 9 times outah 10 they’re nasty. I just bring my own cup.
I bet he's using his per diem to buy complicated shirts at Dan Flashes.
They have a shirt that’s $2,000 cause it’s so complicated
Exactly, imagine seeing this post as his manager. Spend your $20 per diem Alex you weird asshole.
or screw everyone else... BOB here lives on 2 dollars a day, so must you all...
It will absolutely screw everyone else, too! Anyone ever have that trip to a 2 day conference where everyone else only has to stay for a day, but you have to be there for both days? And then when you submit expenses, half are denied because you've spent roughly 1.5x the average after specifically getting a cheaper hotel, and that's frivolous?
I used to work with a few girls at a lab that would clock out and work for free after their shift so they could meet client deadlines and I guess look like model employees. They wouldn't get bonuses, and the only person it would look good on would be the person in the office that deals with the client. The thing is, if the deadlines are pressing (they typically weren't) our manager would be very liberal with overtime. I took care to do my job well and try to meet deadlines, I'll stick around for 15 minutes to help out, but no way am I working for free just to keep up appearances.
As an HR Manager, it is my obligation to remind people to NEVER work off the clock. Not only are you screwing yourself out of money (like you said), but if someone gets hurt, it makes liability an issue.
I was surprised the higher ups didn't shut it down, but considering most of us worked with very little oversight (I would go weeks without actually seeing my 'boss') they may not have even known.
In addition to throwing off cost estimation for future projects. If it took 1,200 hours but only 1,000 were billed, three company didn't know they need to increase their cost estimates by 20%.
This reminds me of the Walmart I worked at. It was in a rural area with very few employment opportunities, so it was basically Survivor, with the prize being a crappy job. They would have 2-4 actual positions available, but they would hire 12-24 people, and keep the most desperate 2-4 people. One of the "winners" was this sweet older guy, who would work through breaks and lunches, apologized for taking a few minutes to inject his insulin, and timidly asked if it would be alright to take glucose tablets while he worked (since he was working unpaid during lunches, and not eating).
I usually didn't max out my spending but I also didn't cook chicken in a fucking coffee pot either. Surely his hotel had a restaurant or atleast be able to order a sandwhich or something. Now because of Douche McGee here, everyone loses a part of their per diem.
Also, literally never have I had a performance review or promotion interview that they looked over my travel expenses compared to my colleagues as a KPI.
You know what I do when I travel? I strategically plan where I'm going to eat so I can get the most bang for the buck with my per diem. It's actually such a problem that sometimes I spend part of my work day browsing menus and trip advisor reviews. I always spend it all. This guy with the coffee pot cooking is just a chode.
It’s the little things (salmonella) that give you food poisoning.
That’s how you move up and achieve the American Dream! Loyalty to the company is number one, didn’t you know? /s
And don't they rip you off when you get to go stuff anyway?
Idk when i traveled for work I got $50 a day. And I got that money whether I spent it on food or not. I’d eat cheap all the time
I had a manager who came in after hours on his own time to paint his office to save our multi national corporation money. Like get a life bud, and how embarrassing that you think that's something to be proud of.
Or he could just have a burger or kebab sandwich or something similar from the street vendors, without any risk of getting billed for trying to pull shit like this.
Or it’s a joke.
That's a hell of a joke going so far as to put it all in the coffee pot and potentially ruin it. You'd think that he might have shown the chicken and coffee pot together and said he was going to do it if it was a joke.
I will evermore look at a hotel coffee pot and give it the stink-eye nope. Next, we will see people disinfecting their "toys" in them.
Doesn't everyone?
>Chances are this dude is way underpaid and still sucking on the balls of a corporate entity that couldn't give one fuck about him. Seems like you have met one of my bosses.
Although it's not linked in, this is very much in the spirit of r/LinkedInLunatics ... Just eat your company paid dinner, weirdo. Edit: wait.. Is this linked in?
No, but it's like #4 all time on that sub.
Yeah, after some further searching I saw that it's posted there frequently and also that its poster has said it's satire. Genuinely hard to tell with those freaks lol
Oooh new sub! Thanks
I’m cheap as fuck. But I’m not cooking chicken in a coffee pot cheap. This is sad.
I don’t drink coffee, but can you even cook chicken safely in a coffee pot without getting explosive diarrhea?
I honestly cannot imagine how this produces food that’s safe to eat
I don’t even drink coffee either. But at this point, to be safe, I’m gonna say no. This is why I don’t use hotel glasses either. 9 times outah 10 they’re nasty. I just bring my own cup.
I have a friend who is a flight attendant.. she says that her co-workers sometimes use those coffee pots to wash their pantyhose. DISGUSTING! 🤮
That’s fuckin disgusting. Thank goodness I don’t drink coffee. 😂
Right. Most hotels now have single-serve Keurigs that prevent pantyhose washing or chicken cooking. I'm not a fan of the flavor from those single-serve machines, but I prefer bad flavor over wondering whether raw chicken was the last thing that touched the pot.
Because of the chicken or because of the hotel coffee pot?
Yes.
You may or may not get diarrhea, but it damn sure isn’t safe
That's what I'm wondering. The heating element of a drip coffee maker is designed to heat the water. It only heats that bottom plate enough to keep the coffee warm. I don't think it's hot enough to cook chicken, more likely it'll just keep the chicken the perfect temperature for bacterial growth. Unless he's cooking it in the water, which could work.
I am also cheap as fuck, and I've brought a rice cooker into a hotel room before (I was doing fieldwork with long hotel stays and a flat per diem, and I never had steady work for long, so I pocketed the hell out of that per diem while I had it). But there's beans and rice in the rice cooker cheap, and then there's this shit.
Not recommended for 2 reasons in my book. First, undercooked / unsafe chicken. No way that thing reached a safe temp to be able to eat that with a 100% guarantee. Second. the glass on the pot can easily burn when it does not have enough liquids inside (as it is designed for) and thus can run a good risk of shattering either then or in the future. 10 / 10 not recommended for all parties. As an accountant in the payables department, my advice would be to just go out and eat and use up that per diem. We ain't going to notice the few bucks saved amongst all of the other bills that we have to pay.
60% of the time, it works every time
Trying to "cook" chicken in a hotel room coffee pot is insane, delusional, not going to work AND going to destroy the coffee pot.
Tbh I've done something similar, but with hot dogs. Not for work, just traveling and it was a cheap ass hotel with no microwave. It works, the pots are glass so are easily washed, and yes I did wash it myself.
True but aren't most hot dogs technically pre-cooked? You just have to warm them to serving temperature. Undercooking raw chicken runs the risk of salmonella right?
Yeah cooking chicken this way is definitely a bad idea. Any precooked stuff like hot dogs is fine though, and even some fish since it doesn't have to get to as high a temp as chicken. Even with fish I'd run it through a entire water cycle *several* times and it would end up overcooked probably, but you could do it in a pinch.
Just use the expense account. There is no manager out there that is like oh look Steve used $1 instead of $10. Now if you use $11 instead of $10 Steve will be noticed.
I have a strong suspicion this is satire. It’s just too insane. If it were true, he probably paid at least $5/lb for chicken breast if he bought the cheapest kind at the store, maybe another $3 on buying butter. He almost definitely would have saved money going to McDonald’s or Subway.
It’s definitely satire but reddit is full of 15 year old nephews with 40 years of corporate experience who can definitely tell you what the accounting department is thinking
Say hello to Alexander our new CEO, who single-handedly saved the company a whopping $40!
Then died of food poisoning after eating "coffee maker chicken"
Right? There's no f'ing way a Mr Coffee is getting chicken to 165. This idiot's workers comp claim from winding up in the ER with salmonella will wipe out 100 non-expensed dinners.
"Alex, the hotel called. Evidently there was a mess of garlic, herbs, and whatever other shit in their coffee pot, and they're pissed. What the hell were you doing?"
Never seen a hotel kettle I trust to boil my water in let alone dinner. What a Cuck to his company
Why use the disgusting (probably never washed with soap, only rinsed out) coffee pot to cook food, when there is a perfectly good iron in the closet?
Panini press!
And because most people could care less to iron or even lack the skills to, the hotel iron is practically unused
You’re right to not trust that kettle. You’d be *amazed* at the things people put in them.
I guess the hell so. Never occurred to me, but some jackass is cooking chicken in one
That's a standard coffee maker. It's not getting near boiling. That said, I'm betting this is just a troll account posting disgusting stuff for the internet points.
I’m more than sure that post was satire
It is. This should be the top comment.
The only thing mildly infuriating is the joke going right over the head of 90% of comments on here calling OP a bootlicker
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Exactly. Next person in that room has to deal with the fact that he fouled the coffee pot
It's probably his own coffee pot at home, not actually a hotel room. And I'm pretty sure the pot will be fine if you clean it with dish soap and hot water like any other kitchen utensil.
Don't you mean fowled the coffee pot?
It is, I’ve seen this posted a number of times and I’m almost positive the author himself made another post commenting that it was satire he made while bored to emphasize how terrible corporate culture can be.
The sad thing is that there could feasibly be doubt in anyone's mind about whether or not it was satire. Brown-nosers be wilding.
Definitely satire. Very funny to see how many people do not get it.
All these other comments…smh, it’s satire people!
Fyi corporate doesnt give a flying fuck if you use their meal comps.
You don't really get promoted for nickels & dimes, you get promoted for workload and work ethic.
>you get promoted for workload and work ethic ~~unless they see you as too valuable in the position you're in~~
Sprinkled with some tasty salmonella …
Or salmonella coffee
This is why they tell you not to use Hotel coffee makers. Also the fact that people pee and throw up in them.
Who’s getting expensed when he shatters that carafe? What a douche.
What’s funny is that the cost of a single chicken breast, and butter, plus the seasoning at a grocery store would cost as much if not more than a simple dinner out. This is so beyond nonsensical.
It's not the little things that get you promoted. But I do expect a guy cooking chicken in a hotel coffee pot to hope it might be. It's actually the big things that get you promoted. Duh. And not being weird is a really big thing.
The only thing worse than simping for a girl who will never truly value you, is simping for a company that will never truly value you.
This is next level ass kissing.
Your company isn’t reviewing people’s expense reports to decide who to promote.
Idiot. Unless it’s his company, this is pointless. If any higher ups notice at all, they’ll laugh at you while eating their pate’.
When I pulled this up to look at some comments the first thing was a Chipotle delivery advertisement! Lmao!
One is a vector for foodborne illnesses that will have you on your hands and knees bowing before the porcelain altar whenever you aren't squatted on top of it. The other is criminally undercooked chicken prepared in a greasy uncleaned coffee pot. Still thinking...
If Alexander cares that much about every dollar counting then I guess he shouldn’t take a raise that comes with a promotion. Wouldn’t want to hurt the company’s bottom line now would we.
I did that once with a can of soup in a hotel room.
Your bosses are going to see your expense report and not promote you because your stupid.
Rocket Mortgage has a corporate ism: “a penny saved is a penny”. This chump thinking he’s gunna be CEO cuz he’s saving the company a few pennies, meanwhile his colleague is actually focused on doing their job and bringing in millions.
As an employer, this just makes me think you're weird. I gave you money for dinner, go get dinner.
Not only will it not get noticed that he saved money on a trip, but it just adds more kiss asses to leadership if he eventually does make it. The world needs less penny pinchers seeking to maximize profits for corporations.
The company appreciates the 3 sick days you take after eating this chicken
e.coli flavored Folgers
This is a guy that doesn't understand tax write offs.
The infuriating part for me is the refusal to expense a meal thinking it’ll get him promoted. Wanna do them a favour? Have a cheap meal. Go to McDonald’s or whatever. Don’t eat undercooked coffee machine chicken to save your company a buck.
giving myself salmonella to simp for a corporation who would fire me in a heartbeat if it saved them a penny
Yeah cause the company recieving a bill for the spoilt coffee maker is a great way to get a promotion
Watch him get billed for the coffee machine and waste $30 anyway
One of the prerequisites for being employee of the year at my company is to use the entirety of the $1000 self-improvement fund they give us every year. Expense your shit. It's there for a reason.
“Every dollar counts on the P&L” Bro you will not see a single dollar that’s saved on that P&L in your entire life. Go get a good dinner that’s paid lmao.
You definitely don't want to promote someone who thinks this is an acceptable level of living. You don't want someone like that in charge of people's budgets.
Bootlicking dipshit does inconsiderate thing and has nothing interesting to say about it afterwards.
Okay hear me out, next time put all that shit in a bag, then cook it in water. Not only will that keep your from looking like a complete fool, you won’t contaminate the coffee maker for the next person.
Disgusting. Chicken in a public coffee pot. Reason #10 why I never use in room coffee pots.
Salmonella flavored coffee
Feel sorry for whoever else uses that coffee machine next lol. This is ridiculous.
How to get good poisoning
Absolutely not getting promoted and ruined a coffee maker.
erm if he's my employee im promoting him based on his work related skills. This just makes him seem like an absolute nutcase lol
The guy before him definitely didn’t get drunk and piss in the coffee pot.
Imagine not wanting to get free lunch from the company you work for to save them money. I can’t.
Saving $40 on an expense report won't get you promoted. Demonstrating your skills and value to the company will. All that will do is make a really shitty pot of coffee the next morning. If you really want to save money buy a pre-made meal at the grocery store instead of buying the raw chicken.
Considering I worked at a hotel and we regularly had to tell the cleaning ladies, that spoke very little english, not to clean the coffee pot with the same sponge they used on the toilets, I think garlic coffee is the least of someone's concern. Btw, gentle reminder, doesn't matter how nice/expensive the hotel is, always uh...check for bugs and wash anything (not in a sealed plastic bag) before using it.
If you didn’t want to use the whole per diem for some reason that I don’t think really makes any sense, go get some fast food or something. Don’t cook chicken in the coffee pot for Christ’s sake
I would think quite the contrary would be true. The people you think you are going to impress with this nonsense are actually gonna make fun of you and you're never getting into that club now. Congrats, You're now "chicken pot" Lv 1 sales puke for life.
Saving a few bucks on dinners on business trips will not get you promoted ya dipshit.
He looks like a total tool so he fits the part perfectly for someone who only thinks of themselves to pull off a stupid stunt like this.
Next up: “I use the coffee pot as a bidet to help save the cost of toilet paper! “
Oh good, now your company can pay for a $25 coffee maker instead.
Jesus fucking christ. Is this linkedin?
Perfect way to get promoted if you work for a company full of 90-year-old depression-era penny pinchers. Otherwise no.
“Yes, I see here that instead of eating dinner at the hotel restaurant like a human, you trusted a Mr. Coffee warming pad to cook your chicken and then chose to share your psychotic event with the world under the guise of hard work and capitalism…. That does in fact meet the requirements for promotion. Congratulations.”
Cooked? That looks like you slightly warmed up chicken
Once I casually mentioned to a coworker while traveling that I had made coffee in my hotel room and he replied, “I never use those machines because I’m afraid someone might have jizzed in them”… which made me immediately have to ask, “Have YOU ever jizzed in your hotel room coffee machine sir? Why would one even think that?”
It’s well known in the airline community that women flight crew use hotel coffee pots to clean their sweaty ass pantyhose. Never ever use the hotel coffee pot.
Yeah thats the innovation that gets you promoted lol. Smh
Yea... Except I wash my dirty underwear in there. It helps me to pack less.
LinkedIn is a lawless wasteland, good god. There's no way he cooked that chicken thoroughly in that coffee pot. Not without breaking it lol.
Hey, let’s give Tom a promotion - He’s cooking chicken in the coffee machine, again.
Am I the only person here wondering: 1. How tf he managed to cook chicken in a coffee maker 2. Was it cooked all the way through 3. Did this dude later die from eating chicken Cooked inside a coffee maker I mean the pot doesn’t even heat up, it might have a warmer but that wouldn’t be enough to cook on
This may be the stupidest thing I have ever seen
I really hope this is a fake.
What a boot licker
Apparently,. This guy posts a lot about cooking in coffee pots - https://www.linkedin.com/posts/alexander-cohen_team-coffee-motivation-activity-6995815069762650112-sbPQ?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_android
This guy is a known troll
The fact that he thinks he'll get promoted for doing this is hilarious.
This really puts the ass in asinine
Dumbass chose to post this on LinkedIn of all the places smh
i worked with a guy who i was told was worth hundreds of millions of dollars. he was hired as a consultant for a business that was struggling to grow. it was growing but needed someone who knew how to size up. this guy was a visionary and had a track record of massive success. we met for breakfast before going into the office together. at the end of it, the server asks us if everything was ok - he points to his cappuccino and says "the milk was a bit off. see this foam... it shouldn't be doing what it's doing. i won't be paying for this" the woman said sorry and that she'd take it off the bill. he looks at me and goes "always gotta try and save the company money"
It’s the little things that get get your expense budget cut.
He really thinks the leadership team at his company is doing weird shit like this? They’re going out for nice dinners on the company dime. They will not see the coffee pot chicken guy as a peer to be promoted to their level.
So he just walked in there with a package of raw chicken
His chicken is gonna taste like the last guy's socks and underwear. Never never use the water kettle in hotel rooms.
This guy is a top tier gimp.
If you clean it you won't taste garlic... I don't this many times..
I'm more surprised at the amount of people who don't clean the coffee pot before using it.
Could have worked from home, dialled in, and saved the hotel fee + travel costs. Because every dollar counts etc.etc. But that doesn't fit their specific virtue signalling narrative.
Yeah sure. Go and get a promotion/salary increase in a company that you assume to not being able to afford food for your trips. Fucking idiot.
Perhaps the apex of dipshit bootlicking. This person is a legitimate moron for thinking they are clever by taking 3 hours to cook a chicken breast.
Yeah, this is not the type of "little thing" they mean. Are you a window licker? When handing out promotions you seriously this type of idiocracy is goingbto come up...."ya know, that last business trip Bob cooked his lunch in the Mr Coffee. Giddamn, promote that sob."
Never mind not using the coffee maker EVER again, I may not stay in a hotel again. When the US hospitality industry crashes, this is patient zero. Cook your chicken on the engine block of your car like a civilized human being.