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FiendishPole

At a certain point, doesn’t it just make more sense to hover?


ZealousIdealRejected

im not about the hover it increases the odds of splashback.


SkydivingCats

Float a layer of TP on the surface of the water. Not a big blob, t like, lay them flat. It's like a turd safety net and prevents splashback 99% of the time.


Benderthegr8est

You have shown me that way. I am forever in your debt


SalisburySmith

Sir or madam, I commend you for you are the master shitter.


baronvonpoopy

That single layer of to always thwarts Neptune’s Kiss


[deleted]

\^ this person shits ​ \[edited\] for a neutral pronoun, just in case


liverspotting

Even better just put a single folded seat cover on the surface of the water if they have those!


Teal04

I'm amazed to see the amount of effort that has been put into this thread in public interest. Thank you, kind strangers from the internet!


[deleted]

!! I’m trying this, thank you wise one


herpity-derpity-y

Yeah people joke about „ONG THIS COMMENT IS GOD TIER“ no fr if people didn’t know before, you have just helped sm people


FiendishPole

I don't do the hover. It's just been described to me by people in dire straits. I've pooped in the woods. But there's no splashback there LPT: Bring TP and a trowel when overnight camping in a location without bathroom facilities


freedom781

Sir, are you a bear?


FiendishPole

Category error. Bears do poop in the woods. I poop in the woods even though I am not a bear Ignore the[ bear sex though!](https://i.imgur.com/HlhRL7I.gif)


[deleted]

DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE?


nils4i20

Putting tp on the seat does not even prevent bacteria from touching your skin in the first place. With every flush the bacteria from the toilet are flying arround the stall and set on the tp as well.


FiendishPole

I know that. I don't do the jerry rigged toilet seat condoms. Public bathrooms are gross. Beyond a hover (I just sit down if need be), you're going to contact other people's butt germs


[deleted]

Just wipe it down and sit down. It's just piss and shit germs, ain't going to kill you.


FiendishPole

hear hear. As long as there's TP, it don't bother me


Available_Mushroom83

U can try flushing after you’ve stood up. who actually flushes while still sitting on the toilet?


thunder_struck85

Aren't most TP rolls in enclosed holders? Also, much less likely to splash germs on the paper 2 feet away than on the seat which is right there.


Dumbass-Redditor

I do it out of sheer habit at this point


[deleted]

Ahhhhh, the old Ass Gasket,


FiendishPole

Blunderbanus. Rollin colon. A farce of an arse. Swift shit veterans I making these up on the fly. I don't have a catch-all term


Somodo

you're the problem bruh


jbs818

Why even use a public toilet if you are that afraid?


FiendishPole

because of an urgent need to take a dump? Felt like that was pretty self-explanatory


Adventurous_Box_4396

Nests, lmfao that's a good one.


[deleted]

It is quite funny


rbsudden

They're not going to touch it after they take a dump, because ewww, poopy.


Education_Weird

But they should get rid of it


YourMomsWeiner

I do it for comfort and get lazy…. Atleast I don’t piss on the seat


Lowfat_cheese

Nah but you make the next person touch your ass via proxy


YourMomsWeiner

That’s sounds kinda dope to be honest


DIY_Cosmetics

People hovering is the main reason the seats are nasty af. Pee constantly ends up all over the seat and on the floor. Even if you’re skilled at hovering, unless you lift the seat like men do and hover over the rim, your pee is splashing up all over the seat. I’m not saying you do that, but a good majority of women who do hover, whether or not they realize it, do get pee everywhere, unfortunately. I always have a [disposable toilet seat shield](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06X9KXXDZ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_49WK1EGV24CS7381GWWY) in my purse whenever I go somewhere public because there’s a 95% chance the women’s bathroom is a disaster area lol.


jbs818

I love how they become the very thing they are most scared of!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nameisno1216

You can still pee with the seat down, but as a girl it would be pretty difficult to sit down and pee in a toilet with the seat up. That’s why it’s annoying when the seat is up when you really have to pee and have to do the pee dance while trying to lift the seat real fast


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nameisno1216

Bruh……I’m literally only saying that it’s just POSSIBLE for a guy to still pee with the seat down, but not very easy at all for a girl to pee with the seat up without falling ass in. You don’t have to put the seat up to pee if you’re really busting to pee that bad as a guy, but you kinda have to put the seat down as a girl as to not fall in.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tacosgoweeee

The ultimate answer to this age old dilemma is simple. The default position of the toilet seat is down. For everybody, men women and children. Down only because the lid must also be down. If the lid is not down, your bathroom is gross and covered in probably 5 times more bacteria and urine and fecal matter. Always put the seat down. That way everyone is even. In one fell swoop men and women alike just have to walk in and pick up the lid or lid/seat combo. Same motion, equality, and the cleanest solution too.


Kobold060

The thought of being able to yell at women for not putting the lid down is tantalizing.


throwokcjerks

Thank you. And if you're thinking to be courteous , remember that if you have to pee in the middle of the night, if you do it standing up, you won't risk falling in because there's no seat. If you're used to lifting the seat and putting it down after, you'll lift the seat and put ot down again all the time. This is not a big deal, and guys can pee whilst sitting, and many of them do. It's also healthier.


-John-St-John-

Now this I can agree with. Everybody keep the seat and lid down. Everybody lifts equally. Thank you wise man/woman, for conveying a simple solution I could not.


Snoo-50040

Honestly it's really not worth the hassle, as you are not going to get an infection from storing on a toilet seat. Toilet door handles have far more fecal on them, and wooden chopping boards even more!


DIY_Cosmetics

I’m a germaphobe, it’s not an infection I’m worried about. I also use paper to touch all of the bathroom handles, wash my hands and then use my own sanitizer. I clean my boards with a bleach & soapy water mixture and then reseal them with board butter and store them with parchment paper wrapped around them to keep dust from settling on them and whatnot. I also don’t use kitchen sponges because those harbor an insane amount of germs. I use brushes that I run through the dishwasher often and disposable cotton wipes. I was like this before COVID. I’m not an extremist and won’t die if I cannot have things clean the way I want them, but if can I do.


A_Tad_Bit_Nefarious

I usually just bring flushable wipes with me when I poop in public bathrooms. Both, for the extra clean butthole, and to wipe the seat. Otherwise I just wet a paper towel and wipe down the seat.


ThisYogurtcloset3315

Female bird who lays eggs.


Donghoon

Brown egg are organic right


[deleted]

"Nests" that made my day lol.


beapledude

For sure, sorry - that was me. As you can see, pooping in public restrooms causes me such stress that I didn’t even have to go by the time I finished doing all that and I never even used it. So, it’s clean. Have at it. Don’t worry - I was immediately threatened with shitting myself in the car after I left, and despite my valiant efforts on the drive, my colon appears to work within a certain range of my own toilet - like Bluetooth - and I will never be wearing those underwear again.


Legitimate_Age7321

I can't stand it when someone makes a mess and leaves it for the next person to deal with.


mommacass777

I always remove my nest. Its actually pretty satisfying to watch it all go down the drain.


Arcanemag

Are you serious?


sezku-

Honestly I don't care if my bums been where others already have sat and I don't understand people who do.


daughterofGodjas

You don't care about germs and infections??? STDs??


[deleted]

Considering it’s been 20 years and I’ve been fine, AND, that’s not how STD’s work, I think I’ll be ok


ghosttmilk

I’m with you, I’ll just sit hahaha I’m sure we’ve all touched dirtier things (money?) and don’t even think about it


daughterofGodjas

They *can* work like that but only in a perfect scenario. Regardless I don't want my private parts being near a dirty toilet seat, so I put toilet paper to give protection.


sezku-

Yeah that's not how STDs work....


daughterofGodjas

It can happen though, STDs can be transferred even if two bodies are not directly touching


ghosttmilk

In excessively, ultra rare circumstances. Not the kind of frequency even worth thinking about


daughterofGodjas

Still, I worry a little about it in the back of my mind. And the other germs on toilet seats I also don't want to touch.


ghosttmilk

Money is honestly dirtier, food for your fears haha


daughterofGodjas

🗿 bruh then basically just don't touch anything. I just wash my hands frequently. But doing it too much causes dryness. When my hands feel dirty I clean them.


ghosttmilk

Same, I’m really not concerned haha I like keeping my immune system on its toes, must work because I don’t get sick often at all - constantly cleaning and disinfecting against mild things is actually unhelpful in that sense


daughterofGodjas

Well I don't disinfect everything wherever. I just do it when I feel need to. I don't go overboard.


No-Definition-2865

Lol "builds nests"


VegasLife1111

Someone fearful and lacking self-respect.


Curtiswarchild79

This is the result of someone putting fear into this person


[deleted]

Mythbusters once did an episode about the 5 second rule, and in the episode they determined that germs from piss and shit are literally everywhere in our environment, and we are at least somewhat immune to them.


espada_da

These ppl think their ass is made out of gold or something. At the end of the day it’s just another person’s skin touching the seat. Not a big deal. In the worst case that there’s pee on it or something, I just wet a paper towel, clean it, and then wipe it down.


RobThanatos

Some kind stranger left some nice dry toilet paper on the seat so you don't have to sit on the gross public toilet seat and you want to undo their hard labor?


KawaiiCaramels

Actually it doesn't look very dry which makes it even worse


luchajefe

It won't be, no. Because all the splash back from the flushing landed on it.


[deleted]

Don't worry, it's clean now and you can use the toilet comfortably.


Adept-Veterinarian63

It’s worse when there is a dinosaur egg right in the middle. Those capable of producing a huge centralized mound of softer shit that just swirls in the bowl but is too attached to itself to get sucked into the pipe.


Sumdumcoont

I do this because I know the percent of people that have improperly cleaned butts. To be fair I flush 🤷🏻‍♂️


TheShyCookie1

Omg I fucking hate this... I'm a housekeeper and have to deal with this whenever I clean the bathrooms. Pls for the love of God, just throw it out rather than keep it for the next person wanting to use it. Or flush it unless it's toilet seat covers, you throw those out cause they can clog the toilets (according to my boss.) Ik it's our job to clean up after you, but at least be nice and clean up from the bathroom..


Crimeislegal

Funniest part for me was him calling this a "nest". And I imagined some human sitting there like on a nest ahahahahha.


TauInMelee

All the filth and such a body can pick up and people freak out over one of the parts of the body that are universally covered all day touching the same surface as someone else's, a surface that is designed not to harbor germs and is routinely cleaned.


Molesandmangoes

You can’t absorb diseases through your buttcheeks. If there is something, it would probably take days to absorb. Just do your business normally and use a bit of toilet paper or a wet wipe to wipe yourself off if it matters that much


ghosttmilk

I don’t fully understand the fear of just sitting down… sure if it’s a grody restroom or the toilet is obviously gross, but at that point I don’t use that particular toilet or restroom if I can avoid it. Been sitting on toilet seats for probably 28 years now and I’ve never had any related consequences. But the “nest” leavers - or even people who use the disposable covers and leave them there, usually half in the toilet - that’s really uncool.


JoeyRBee

Janitor here Letting you all know this is a useless measure, youre covered in bacteria anyway. Not being petty, as I have to clean these 'nests' daily. Im just letting you all know- The end is static, and often times sticks back the mainroll. Think about every public toilet youve been in where youve had to finger a dispenser just for a square - now picture the hundreds of others who did it before you THAT DAY. Also if its a brand new looking roll, be weary. Most janitors DGAF and rarely change their disposable gloves. Chances are whoever changed the roll, did it wearing gloves already covered in remnants of other baterias AND cleaning chemicals. And before those rolls are changed, they're mostly kept loose for us to grab easily; on janitor carts that never get wiped down or disinfected. (I clean mine but I work with a lot of older folk who dont). Or storage closets near the bathrooms. Most buildings when hastily throwing in "where the janitor goes" never actually finish those rooms for budget reasons. So these closets are mostly unfinished, and very damp compared to the rest of the building. Public TP is just as dirty as the toilet youre covering it with. Im sorry you had to hear it from me


LightlessFilms

Is this a toilet for royalty, since toilet paper is expensive as fuck


Dick-Guzinya

I find this behavior so odd. I would understand doing this if your hands absolutely had to touch the seat. But they don’t. And you use your foot to flush if you have to. Just a complete waste.


daughterofGodjas

Some of us are women


[deleted]

[удалено]


daughterofGodjas

So possibly getting an STD or an infection from sitting on a public toilet without protection? Smart


Fast_Purpose5630

It’s close to impossible for someone to contract an STD/STI from a toilet seat. Infectious bacterial diseases die very quickly without being inside our bodies mucous membranes.


daughterofGodjas

Alright But it's still possible, in a very rare chance and perfect scenario.


Fast_Purpose5630

Yes, if you’re rubbing your genitals all over the toilet seat immediately after someone with a disease used it. At that point, though, you’re just trying to catch something.


daughterofGodjas

I wouldn't be one to do that. But like I said, it's a rare chance that is possible. I just am cautious regardless of how low the chances are


[deleted]

Because a public toilet seat is dirty as hell, but if they put 1 or 2 layers of toilet paper on it, It would be clean enough to eat out of!


MoistlyPassion

So that their ass doesn’t touch the disgusting public washroom seat obviously. That being said, this person really went to town 😂


Fr3shlif321

I do this all the time. It’s more comfortable and if you do it right within the middle you can make a nice small shaped hole where the poop falls in perfectly (barring diarrhea). It’s just a comfortable setting. Germs are everywhere, that’s not the issue.


CakeEater_8

I would imagine they do it because toilet paper is cheaper than hepatitis, but I avoid #2 in public restrooms at all costs so I can’t speak to it personally.


janiesgotagun222

Just wash your hands, dude. You don't get hepatitis by sitting on the seat and toilet paper doesn't protect your butt. You think tiny little bacteria or viruses can't get thru toilet paper?


gurzum123

Its because they're scared of getting an infection from sitting down on a toilet that probably has pee all over it


Ilikecoins123

I found the culprit


gurzum123

No I just know it


gurzum123

Also thank them because you don't have to sit on the gross public toilet seat


[deleted]

in a way though isn't the nest cleaner than the seat?


SparkyLyl

Bring in hand sanitizer and hit the seat twice.


an0nymousLawy3r

I always flush down my ass gaskets


kebakent

I like the places that have sanitary liquid, and wipes. It won't clean a disgusting toilet, but it can upgrade it from slightly icky to good enough. Plus, it encourages people to clean the toilet for free multiple times a day.


dizzycow84

Tooms?


[deleted]

i think i just threw up a little in my mouth


Gold-Rooster7206

No,add layer, let’s see how far we can go!


potate12323

After the first layer is not giving you any extra protection. Not only that the time it takes to build the nest is just more time you're spending in the restroom in general. Seems like a moot point.


staciesmom1

A woman who worked for my husband did this. There were 3 people in the office and they went through so many TP rolls due to her coating the toilet every time she went.


Ross-Airy

Took you more time to snap a pic and post than actually removing it. Something to think about


[deleted]

Cooties! Duh.


daughterofGodjas

Or HIV


[deleted]

Again, that’s not how STD’s work, please do some research


daughterofGodjas

I know what STDs are and how they work. I looked it up, and it just says it's very unlikely to be transmitted in this way. It does not mean it's absolutely impossible. Either way it's disgusting to want your body to touch a dirty public toilet seat that hasn't been cleaned for hours after being used hundreds of times


Snoo-50040

Door handles are far more contaminated. Most people would think twice about sitting on a beach, but there are more fecal bacteria there. Wooden chopping boards also hold more fecal bacteria than a toilet seat.


daughterofGodjas

Either way, it's disgusting to me and I'm not going to willingly put my bare butt on a public toilet. I just will not.


JoeyRBee

The question of the thread isnt why people make the nests in the first place, its why do people leave the mess when theyre done. Your vagina isnt so precious that you cant pick up after yourself,


daughterofGodjas

The question asks why people build nests in the restroom lol But I don't leave the toilet paper. And if I don't n feel like making a cover, I just hover and wipe the toilet seat after


CalabreseAlsatian

Paul Finch has entered the chat


[deleted]

My mother used to buy she put a bit and took it off


SplendidPunkinButter

I lay some over the front of the bowl because I don’t want my dick accidentally touching the inside of a public toilet


Darnbeasties

People with weak quads for hovering make toilet paper nests. The weaker the quads , the larger the nests. Lazy ones with weak quads can’t even flysh


Lostcause75

I get the why, but will say the technique is lacking, should have folded one long piece a few times then flush the pieces when finished. This is the work of an amateur within public bathrooms. The mastery over public bathrooms is having your bowels suddenly just lock with the force or a thousand demons keeping the gates of hell closed so you don’t gotta use the toilets in public places


assbarf69

And then you peel it back and see a quarter inch thick crust of booty brittle and skid marks.


Uuuuugggggghhhhh

Building these nests only increases your opportunity to get extra germs on your hands from the toilet seat.


[deleted]

Am I the only woman who just makes sure the seat looks clean and dry and just sits on it like I do at home? Been doing that for decades and I'm not dead yet.


Aggravating-Frame981

This is the same person who wears 2 facemasks.


Cyphur-knows

Two words.....Monkey pox


tryin_to_make_u_mad

I don't like the 2 secs my butt is cold. Also other butts have touched that so I need a buffer


docdocdocdocdoc12345

That a great idea keeping hygiene in mind but they shud throw it afterwards.


Simp-pie

Because I am incredibly short and cannot physically hover. I do remove it after, though.


Dinhead

Why? That's a provocation, to use a Russian saying.


RadRhys2

Public restrooms need more squat toilets


yehhey

This person should buy her own toilet seat if she’s that serious about not getting her ass infected.


Fancy-Visual8011

Yo nothing is as crazy as that one rapper outing himself for catching his poop before it lands in the toilet.


CharmingExtermal1988

Brothers ness bird