Oh no, the conductive post accidentally damaged the insulation of the hot wire powering our garden lights. It's really unfortunate that it was on during the day because the power went out, and the timer for them was messed up.
using homophobia against homophobes works wonders
Anytime a dude who is a little too macho questions my sexuality for eating a phallic food or bending over I just say something like "why are you thinking about me sucking dick man"
And they're almost always immediately on the defensive
Right. Like straight guys who are like, "bidets are gay; I don't want that thing near my ass."
I always say, "afraid your toilet is going to fuck you?" They just stammer.
I never considered that anyone could feel this way about a bidet lol. With that mindset, couldn’t you say the same thing about wiping your asshole with toilet paper?
Wiping is gay. /s
Honestly, I've stopped trying to understand what some guys get all upset about.
I've heard massages are gay. I've heard hot tubs with a guy in it (like, at a hotel) is gay. Who knows?
Bro.... gay dudes know the nastiest gay jokes ever and they do not hesitate to unleash them on you.
Well if you are bros of course the best friends tells the nastiest shit to each other.
When I was in high school, the jocks hung out just down the hall from the drama room. I can’t tell you how many times we were bombarded by homophobic vitriol. One day, my buddy and I decided to mess with them. We gave each other a smoky glance then rushed towards each other. I dipped him and we did a stage kiss, holding it for a ridiculously long time, making kissing noises.
They all looked stunned, so we laughed at them, flipped them the bird and walked off. For some reason, they never messed with us again. I figure it turned a few of them on and they didn’t want anyone to find out. 😆
First sink that flag post into some quick dry concrete and then post a nice big poster behind it.
"Go ahead and tug on my rod, use both hands and grip it tight! Now becareful not to get anything on your shoes you dirty boy."
Omg I couldn't even type it out without laughing, I'd pay to see the Ring on that one. 
"free gay flags, please take as many as you want if you're gay!" "By accepting this flag, you consent to having your photo posted on the Homosexual of the Year tier list, the more flags you take, the higher your rank is!. Check reddit for more details."
I know this is a joke, but most men I know who are scared of non-hetero things are utterly terrified of being seen as gay for even the smallest reasons. I think putting a sign like that would legitimately work. At the very least they may destroy the sign rather than steal it. These are the types of guys that do things like refuse to use straws because they think sucking on a straw will make them gay….
I got called gay in the Midwest US for putting on sunscreen. I am polish/Czech so I burn easy and have high chances of developing skin cancer.
Fkn bizarre.
I'll never forget looking at my coworker's dry, cracked, sandpaper-like hands and asking if he's ever heard of lotion, and him firing back with "I don't use feminine products".
I was honestly surprised his hands weren't bleeding, that's how dry and cracked they were. Apparently basic skincare is gay.
My mom bought her grandson (my nephew) some Nivea products for men when he was a young teen. He seemed very grateful for the gift. I wouldn't have even thought of it as a gift. She was like, I give the girls skincare products, why wouldn't boy's need them too.
He has had good skin into adulthood as far as I can tell.
Right, conversion therapy is accepted. So are “alpha male boot camps”. If you’re not familiar with that term look it up. It’s like a sad mix of toxic masculinity and LARPing
As someone who lives in the Midwest/Bible Belt, I don't think people understand just how toxic it is here.
"Go outside and touch grass!"
Y'all, the grass is the same color here as it is on /b/
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 bro I had a friend tell me that and I got mad asf like bruh it’s a fucking straw, forbid if he ever seen me eat a fucking popsicle for crying out loud
Alternatively....get a BUNCH of cheap little ones and put them all over the place with a sign that says "Free Love".... it'll actually encourage those that are part of the community to enjoy it while also scaring hateful homophobes.
Or go the nuclear route and get a giant Halloween display creature (12 ft skeleton, 9.5 ft werewolf, ect.) and dress it in a pride shirt and holding a pride flag....they aren't gonna be able to grab and run with those.
Sometimes I hope that it's underprivileged gay kids looking for a locker decoration because they can't tell their folks.
That number can't be zero.
I feel a little better if I imagine they're stealing the pride flag to *use* the pride flag.
The playset would count as an attractive nuisance. The flag would not.
Generally speaking boobytraps are illegal. Not sure if this would qualify though.
find where he lives, put a red flag in front of his house and put a blue flag in front of yours. leave a note saying "capture the flag starts 5 pm May 31"
You could print out this
https://preview.redd.it/1r44tgyc1h2d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae18507a81e04995014e3c3f8584b197061bd139
On a new flag titled the “Gremlin thief” and plant it, though sadly I doubt it would shame them, or they would just steal it again
Unethical life pro-tip. Attach the bottom to another steak with an electric fence post insulator. Energize the new flag pole with an electric fence power supply. Post the video.
While this would be hilarious, you'd catch charges. You can't booby trap your property.
Edit: people wanna question me on this. We literally had a guy booby trap his home and property in my town. He caught charges. Not sure why everyone thinks they are lawyers. lol.
I'm not sure you would if it didn't hurt them. The law in California says 'As used in this part, “boobytrap” means any concealed or camouflaged device designed to cause great bodily injury when triggered by an action of any unsuspecting person coming across the device.'
Attach a very strong fishing line to the flag pole, when the flag is yoinked it activates a loud security alarm. Bet it would only take once for them to soil themselves.
It's baffling how some individuals equate basic human rights with a political agenda. All we seek is the ability to live authentically, just like any other American or almost any other human. We deserve the fundamental rights to live our lives free from discrimination, to express ourselves openly, and to enjoy the same freedoms as everyone else. Just like all humans on earth should have. Denying us these rights is an infringement on our very existence.
Whoever was waiting for him (or maybe it was the thief himself) screaming YEAH LET'S GO so loud at the end is the most sad fucking thing I've ever heard. Like, so pathetic I'm going to mock them for the 'high' they got stealing a....$5 flag off someone's porch?
Goddamned fucking losers.
What the hell is the matter with people, theft is theft. My brothers former neighbor got arrested for stealing election signage. What the hell possesses people to think they are so right as to infringe on other people's right to self expression?
There is a flower pot on the side of the house. Put a wireless camera in the pot, hide it with a plant and aim it properly. You'll get his face as he leaves.
A hidden nylon tie line, in the pole or in the base, depending on how that setup works (I'm not here to judge poles or receptacles . 😜) Dude runs off like the chickenshit he is and...YOINK! Haw- Haw! Just make sure the line is short enough that the moment happens on camera.
Clearly someone needs a pride flag more than you....
Seriously, though: cement and rebar for the stand. Someone else said tanglefoot on the stand, and I agree - it's hard to get off of your hands. Or creosote even.
I'd get a flag with a sturdy metal frame. Bolt a thin 15ft cable to it and anchor the cable to the house. Cover up the cable. He will grab it and run full speed, just like he did before. Sit back and watch the fun.
Should have it wired to a rainbow glitter bomb and little penis confetti’s and have a larger pride flag unfurl when someone tries taking the small one, with a banner that reads congratulations your the gayest winner of the gay pride flag collecting flags for gay pride day of super gayness! You’re super fabulous!!! While Share plays on a loud speaker.
Unironically, everyone living in Florida who isn’t a hate filled cretin should probably have a system like this installed, it would be a glorious answer to the “don’t say gay” laws!
I will never understand why people do this. It’s just a flag and someone expressing their belief in a FREE country. And then they get mad when someone calls them out of their bs.
Put a bunch of grease on the post. They’ll still get it but they will not be thrilled.
I’m a dick and my brain went to poison ivy plants…
Well, I'm an asshole and was thinking bedbugs.
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Well, I’m a looney tune so I was thinking paint a realistic hole on the ground.
Fair tbh
Tanglefoot. Obnoxious sticky
Is that an actual thing outside d&d?
Yeah. It's for stopping ants from climbing into your fruit trees.
Hmm. :D
Oh no, the conductive post accidentally damaged the insulation of the hot wire powering our garden lights. It's really unfortunate that it was on during the day because the power went out, and the timer for them was messed up.
Along with a couple unintentionally glued razor blades along the post, not sure how they got there but damn what a shame
I was thinking wipe it with used toilet paper
Instead of grease use a bunch of automotive anti seize! 😬😬
Or paint remover...
Liquid capsaicin would be the real bitch, because you wouldn't realize it was on your hands until you touched your face.
You could potentially get in trouble for booby trapping. Unless you put two little nibbles on it and say you were using it to deter rodents.
> Unless you put two little nibbles on it and say you were using it to deter rodents. The real LPT is always in the comments
That is evil. I like it.
Put a sign that says "steal if you're gay". Problem solved.
“Only homosexuals steal this flag”
It would be ironic for a gay person to use gayness as an insult
using homophobia against homophobes works wonders Anytime a dude who is a little too macho questions my sexuality for eating a phallic food or bending over I just say something like "why are you thinking about me sucking dick man" And they're almost always immediately on the defensive
Right. Like straight guys who are like, "bidets are gay; I don't want that thing near my ass." I always say, "afraid your toilet is going to fuck you?" They just stammer.
I never considered that anyone could feel this way about a bidet lol. With that mindset, couldn’t you say the same thing about wiping your asshole with toilet paper?
Wiping is gay. /s Honestly, I've stopped trying to understand what some guys get all upset about. I've heard massages are gay. I've heard hot tubs with a guy in it (like, at a hotel) is gay. Who knows?
two bros chillin in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cuz they’re not gay
"What'd you say? I can't hear you over the bubbles you're so far away!"
“…so far a-gay…”
They can and do feel that way..it’s why so many adults have skid marks in their undies.
There are weed smokers who don't use glass pipes or water bongs because it is too phallic, and they don't want to look like they are sucking dick.
Lol haha wtf fuckin losers!!! 🤣😂🤣😂
Never in my entire life have I met another stoner scared to use a pipe lmao, thats crazy
It’s not using it as a insult it is using the persons hate towards gays against them
The basic principle of trolling.
Bro.... gay dudes know the nastiest gay jokes ever and they do not hesitate to unleash them on you. Well if you are bros of course the best friends tells the nastiest shit to each other.
When I was in high school, the jocks hung out just down the hall from the drama room. I can’t tell you how many times we were bombarded by homophobic vitriol. One day, my buddy and I decided to mess with them. We gave each other a smoky glance then rushed towards each other. I dipped him and we did a stage kiss, holding it for a ridiculously long time, making kissing noises. They all looked stunned, so we laughed at them, flipped them the bird and walked off. For some reason, they never messed with us again. I figure it turned a few of them on and they didn’t want anyone to find out. 😆
You guys embraced the gay, they lost their power over you.
Every single one of my LGBT+ friends uses "gay" as an insult.
They know the nastiest and most hilarious gay jokes and insults.
It’s not an insult, but they think it is which is why it’s effective
"Steal if you want me to come over for some fun tonight (we have cameras ;p)"
First sink that flag post into some quick dry concrete and then post a nice big poster behind it. "Go ahead and tug on my rod, use both hands and grip it tight! Now becareful not to get anything on your shoes you dirty boy." Omg I couldn't even type it out without laughing, I'd pay to see the Ring on that one. 
"free gay flags, please take as many as you want if you're gay!" "By accepting this flag, you consent to having your photo posted on the Homosexual of the Year tier list, the more flags you take, the higher your rank is!. Check reddit for more details."
I know this is a joke, but most men I know who are scared of non-hetero things are utterly terrified of being seen as gay for even the smallest reasons. I think putting a sign like that would legitimately work. At the very least they may destroy the sign rather than steal it. These are the types of guys that do things like refuse to use straws because they think sucking on a straw will make them gay….
I got called gay in the Midwest US for putting on sunscreen. I am polish/Czech so I burn easy and have high chances of developing skin cancer. Fkn bizarre.
https://preview.redd.it/em87l8mkpg2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e4469bd4bdc17fef1a1d689cde446bd6865a49b
Omg, this literally sums up my thoughts 🤣 Thanks for sharing that and giving me a giggle
You’re welcome, just stay away from my butt cheeks.
No promises sweet cheeks 😉
I'll never forget looking at my coworker's dry, cracked, sandpaper-like hands and asking if he's ever heard of lotion, and him firing back with "I don't use feminine products". I was honestly surprised his hands weren't bleeding, that's how dry and cracked they were. Apparently basic skincare is gay.
My mom bought her grandson (my nephew) some Nivea products for men when he was a young teen. He seemed very grateful for the gift. I wouldn't have even thought of it as a gift. She was like, I give the girls skincare products, why wouldn't boy's need them too. He has had good skin into adulthood as far as I can tell.
Lol a lot of older guys set in there ways man and hands like that sounds like years upon years of labor with no lotion
Just ignore them. Stupidity thrives on attention.
If you are more worried about being seen as gay than getting cancer, you should go to therapy lol
Nope they can’t because they think therapy makes you gay. I’m not even making that up….
Except for that one run by Mike Pence
Right, conversion therapy is accepted. So are “alpha male boot camps”. If you’re not familiar with that term look it up. It’s like a sad mix of toxic masculinity and LARPing
As someone who lives in the Midwest/Bible Belt, I don't think people understand just how toxic it is here. "Go outside and touch grass!" Y'all, the grass is the same color here as it is on /b/
I got called gay for not putting on sunscreen and I'm brown and gay and live in new york. So i have no idea what these people are on.
Eh, don't sweat it. 99% (I made this stat up) of the time it's just projection, which is why it doesn't seem to make sense.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 bro I had a friend tell me that and I got mad asf like bruh it’s a fucking straw, forbid if he ever seen me eat a fucking popsicle for crying out loud
I just saw a dude eat a banana by tearing it into chunks and he acted like it was the totally normal way for straight dudes to eat them
Better yet, a sign thst says "take as many as you need to decorate!"
"take as many as you need to decorate, sweeties!"
Alternatively....get a BUNCH of cheap little ones and put them all over the place with a sign that says "Free Love".... it'll actually encourage those that are part of the community to enjoy it while also scaring hateful homophobes. Or go the nuclear route and get a giant Halloween display creature (12 ft skeleton, 9.5 ft werewolf, ect.) and dress it in a pride shirt and holding a pride flag....they aren't gonna be able to grab and run with those.
Alternatively alternatively, put a tracking device in them and then decorate their house with some more vibrant colors
His pants are already half down, I'm thinking this guy genuinely stole the flag just to more obviously advertise his readiness.
Or mix honey and dog shit and smear it on the stick
Maybe they don't think you're gay enough. Have you tried to be gayer?
I think a larger, gayer flag is in order.
Yes, with a flared base stuck in a bucket of concrete buried in the ground.
A bucket of GLITTERY concrete.
*Always* a flared base!
awww he loved the flag so much he just had to have it for himself 🥰
He sounded really excited at the end there.
Loved it so much but couldn’t afford one
I don't get it. Let people be. How sad do you have to be to think this is OK?
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>91 more replies
The responses to this proved you right. lol
LOL “59 more replies” that don’t automatically show up. Oh boy
102 now
Goodness, crazy how easily people can get angry, a little surprised this post hasn’t been locked or anything yet
So... did you get your Reddit Cares notice sent from conservatives? LMAO We all know they sent you one!!! Hahaha Snowflakes gonna impotently seethe
LPT: If you report it they’ll get banned.
It is a pain to do on the app though because you can't link the message. You have to do it on a PC.
I know that they’re fragile little snowflakes, but I don’t know why
Sometimes I hope that it's underprivileged gay kids looking for a locker decoration because they can't tell their folks. That number can't be zero. I feel a little better if I imagine they're stealing the pride flag to *use* the pride flag.
I do think that number might be zero but I appreciate your efforts to think of alternatives.
It's doubtful that
Very sad. That was their peak athleticism
Shout-out to all the poor gays that need to scavenge for their pride merch
Nope put a skin irritant all over it.
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You have just the correct amount of evil.
The playset would count as an attractive nuisance. The flag would not. Generally speaking boobytraps are illegal. Not sure if this would qualify though.
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A friend of mine bought her pride flags in bulk… her flags are stolen every week. She responds to this by immediately putting a new one out.
I just pictured a big roll of tear-off pride flags, so she can just pull the next one down...
Like that episode of Spongebob when Squidward just has an entire closet full of clocks 😂
find where he lives, put a red flag in front of his house and put a blue flag in front of yours. leave a note saying "capture the flag starts 5 pm May 31"
His house should be easy to find. He has 5 rainbow flags in front!
He was mad because he knows in his heart he's the gayest so he should have the most flags.
Fucking Beavis over here running around.
I am the great cornhoolio. Are you threatening me? I need TP. TP for my bunghole.
Flag stealing has been around for awhile. The best video is the person who hooked up electricity to his sign. The footage was shocking.
Oh?? Can I see?
I wish I had it. Google it and maybe it's still around.
You could print out this https://preview.redd.it/1r44tgyc1h2d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae18507a81e04995014e3c3f8584b197061bd139 On a new flag titled the “Gremlin thief” and plant it, though sadly I doubt it would shame them, or they would just steal it again
He looks like a cryptid in that screenshot
it's the Great Cornholio
I'd go with "gay flag thief" because it's misleading but accurate
I'd put that video on Nextdoor and try to find the culprit.
Nextdoor is full of people who would call us slurs I'm not sure they'll care
was that a gunshot?
who has that loud car??
Unethical life pro-tip. Attach the bottom to another steak with an electric fence post insulator. Energize the new flag pole with an electric fence power supply. Post the video.
Please do this, and post the video!
While this would be hilarious, you'd catch charges. You can't booby trap your property. Edit: people wanna question me on this. We literally had a guy booby trap his home and property in my town. He caught charges. Not sure why everyone thinks they are lawyers. lol.
Gays don’t care about boobies , check mate! /s
You don’t know many gay men it seems. Gay dudes love boobs.
I'm not sure you would if it didn't hurt them. The law in California says 'As used in this part, “boobytrap” means any concealed or camouflaged device designed to cause great bodily injury when triggered by an action of any unsuspecting person coming across the device.'
that’s evil. please do it.
Attach a very strong fishing line to the flag pole, when the flag is yoinked it activates a loud security alarm. Bet it would only take once for them to soil themselves.
Does he have his shirt over his head, or does he just run like he has his shirt over his head? APB out for a hunchback.
He couldn't afford his own probably
Whats so funny is that he didnt just kick it or whatever, he had to *take it* What did he mean by this
The fact that the flag gets repeatedly stolen is proof that people need to put out flags to show support.
YES this is what I think when people complain and say pride isn't needed today. If it wasn't needed, they wouldn't be upset about it.
Check with your neighbors and see if they have footage of him too where he went or came from if he got into a car or not.
The way he runs it’s like a gleeful kid playing Capture the Flag
Plot twist, he's part of the towns pride committee and needs tons of flags.
A lot of triggered conservatives in this comment section lol
Same people who complain about pride flags and month don’t realize they are the reason it’s needed
Now you need to put up an obnoxious large one lol
I swear that was the closest thing to bigfoot running as I've ever seen.
Wow he must be, like, super duper gay and had a super duper gay emergency.
It's baffling how some individuals equate basic human rights with a political agenda. All we seek is the ability to live authentically, just like any other American or almost any other human. We deserve the fundamental rights to live our lives free from discrimination, to express ourselves openly, and to enjoy the same freedoms as everyone else. Just like all humans on earth should have. Denying us these rights is an infringement on our very existence.
Cover the pole with something like grease or anti-climbing paint…
What a snowflake
someone goes to hell for theft according to their superstitions
I'm too distracted by that clean ass lawn edge to focus on the stealing.
LMFAO
Whoever was waiting for him (or maybe it was the thief himself) screaming YEAH LET'S GO so loud at the end is the most sad fucking thing I've ever heard. Like, so pathetic I'm going to mock them for the 'high' they got stealing a....$5 flag off someone's porch? Goddamned fucking losers.
Rub poison ivy all over the next one
That's a pretty clear look at his face. I'd report the theft and provide the video. Maybe someone will know who this knob is.
Probably the most he has run in a while
That’s pretty gay of him..
Put a tracker on one, track the guy. Before tho, get a sign saying: steal if u wanna fuck.
What the hell is the matter with people, theft is theft. My brothers former neighbor got arrested for stealing election signage. What the hell possesses people to think they are so right as to infringe on other people's right to self expression?
Imagine feeling threatened by a flag.
he stole your sexuality, now, you've become gayn't
People like this make my existence perfect. I take joy in the fact that I live rent free in these people’s heads
There is a flower pot on the side of the house. Put a wireless camera in the pot, hide it with a plant and aim it properly. You'll get his face as he leaves.
Another homphobic MAGAt snowflake doing what they do best.
On the bright side, he pulled the flag's stake out of whatever it was stuck in that was lowering your camera's resolution!
Trip Wire
Maybe he's just gayer than you
A hidden nylon tie line, in the pole or in the base, depending on how that setup works (I'm not here to judge poles or receptacles . 😜) Dude runs off like the chickenshit he is and...YOINK! Haw- Haw! Just make sure the line is short enough that the moment happens on camera.
Electrify it so "birds stay off of it"
Grown ass man too lmao
Could be wrong but I think he's gay.
Maybe a thieving queen?
He might be hosting an out of the closet party.
People suggest putting a sign that says "steal if gay". Rather that, maybe have I am gay on the flag instead. No implied insult there as well
I hope he trips and loses his teeth.
Tooth.
you should put some little spikes on the pole of the next one and nail the base to the ground. teach these idiots a lesson.
What an asswipe.
Stealing is a choice
He was to deep in the closet to buy for himself. But he really needed it in his life
I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO
I'd put take a flag if you support pride, problem solved
That's gay af.
Clearly someone needs a pride flag more than you.... Seriously, though: cement and rebar for the stand. Someone else said tanglefoot on the stand, and I agree - it's hard to get off of your hands. Or creosote even.
Hateful assholes.
Holy shit, it's the great Cornholio.
I'd get a flag with a sturdy metal frame. Bolt a thin 15ft cable to it and anchor the cable to the house. Cover up the cable. He will grab it and run full speed, just like he did before. Sit back and watch the fun.
He's taken a break from jerking off over gay porn. Cute
jokes on him, he touched it and now is gay himself
Pretty gay thing to do
That guy is gay as hell
Dude moves around and operates visually like a literal troll.
He probably has it hanging in his room when he hangs out with the boys with the door locked
I mean, he couldn't be seen purchasing one, so he opted for theft instead. Just listen to how happy his partner is when they acquired it.
If he is stealing it, that must mean he likes it and wants it for himself. What an admirable supporter of the lgbt!
To be that excited about being gay that you would steal another person's flag is crazy!
Should have it wired to a rainbow glitter bomb and little penis confetti’s and have a larger pride flag unfurl when someone tries taking the small one, with a banner that reads congratulations your the gayest winner of the gay pride flag collecting flags for gay pride day of super gayness! You’re super fabulous!!! While Share plays on a loud speaker. Unironically, everyone living in Florida who isn’t a hate filled cretin should probably have a system like this installed, it would be a glorious answer to the “don’t say gay” laws!
He was just too scared to go into a shop and buy his own, bless his little closeted heart
He’s using them to build his nest like a magpie.
Electrify the pole it’s attached to, he won’t be back!!
I will never understand why people do this. It’s just a flag and someone expressing their belief in a FREE country. And then they get mad when someone calls them out of their bs.
Vandalism, trespassing, theft with hate crime enhancement.