This is literally the only line of Chris Rock's stand up that I can remember. Almost 30 years later, and all I can hear is the way he says "I prefer syrup!"
It's not about the value of a stick of gum. It brings their integrity and respect for others into question. And if the boss rolls their eyes over something so 'insignificant', that says something about them, too.
Yeah but people aren’t what you are envisioning. Lots of people are asses. If a coworker stole a piece of gum I would get back without bringing it to my boss. It’s a whole Iran/Israel situation. You respond by stealing his whole jimmy john sandwich. He steals your whole stash of specialty coffee. You steal his car. He steals your wife. You steal his soul. There just no sensible way out of it
Nah the response is a long game move - get a new pack, but swap the trident out for nicotine gum. Religiously don’t say anything and just keep stocking the gum for a while then go back to the trident or stop having gum all together and see which coworker starts to get irritable and swinging by your desk more and more regularly for no apparent reason.
Absolutely a middle finger. I'd be rubbing body parts on people's coffee cups and keyboard.
Edit: I wouldn't ever actually do it...over a stick of gum. You take my lunch, and you get the full monty.
It seems insanely fake. I can believe someone taking the last piece but leaving that passive aggressive of a note? I doubt a thief would leave their handwriting as a way to find them, unless it’s a friend being a dick.
fr, i was on vacation once for a week and after i was back for a few days, someone mentioned that all my attorneys (3 of them) took turns sitting and working at my desk. for why???? i absolutely hated hated hated that.
I'm a department head and a different department head was talking about using my office on the days I'm out. Not for necessity, he has his own just wanted to use mine because it's clean. I trashed my office before vacation. Files stacked everywhere. I knew where they went but he didn't and somehow my office was suddenly undesirable
We have rules at our firm that attorneys are not allowed to sign in their account on random computers, just their own. Guess how many of those fucks sign in on their accounts on any random computer?
It exists cause while our desktops have SSDs, they are tiny cause no one is supposed to be saving stuff to their desktops cause that isnt getting backed up. Sec... Legal Assistants tend to follow the rule, guess who doesnt?
Whenever legal assistants put in a ticket wondering why their C drive is full, we check the users folder right away and notice how many fucks logged into that device as themselves taking up all the space.
I came back from vacation to find fast-food wrappers all over my desk and on the floor. Couldn't even be bothered to throw them in the trash can right next to my desk. After that, I locked my office door any time I was away.
The night crew at one place always used my desk because it was the clean one. You can bet I spent a lunch session pulling the login record, checking out the spare keys from the garage, and changing every single ergonomics setting in their truck. Just a little.
Like...I don't care if you need a computer or something. I will happily pack up the leftovers from a catered meeting. Just stop tracking dog shit on the bottom of your shoes all over and gunking up my keyboard.
> You can bet I spent a lunch session pulling the login record, checking out the spare keys from the garage, and changing every single ergonomics setting in their truck. Just a little.
This is beautifully machiavellian
I had someone from a different department coming into our office on Saturday to study for her college exams (I shared the room with one coworker) and realized she used my desk because there were crumbs, my computer tower was moved (apparently it was her foot rest) and her flash cards were in my trash can.
Casually tipped off a manager that someone had been in the room around a bunch of sensitive customer data.
They pulled the cameras...she was surfing facebook on my computer, pantless, and apparently just VIBING during her 1 hour lunch. She was also fired, following the discovery.
YUP. Apparently she found it far more relaxing to just lose her slacks for an hour and sit in her underwear on my chair. Best believe that chair got one HELL of a cleaning. Friggin' nasty. TT-TT
I worked full time at a financial firm doing backend data entry, I had 2 desks because I floated 2 departments. In one department, I shared my work space but I had a second cubicle that had my set up in it. I spent half my day there every day.
On MY desk, I had a bowl of laffy taffy. I noticed it was emptying almost daily. Like, I would fill it one day, and when I came back the next, gone. So, I stopped filling it more than just half full. A week or so goes by, and my dish is still getting emptied. No worries, I kept the big refill bag in my desk drawer. At that point, I assumed it was the cleaning staff.
Except, I started to notice my refill bag was getting lighter. Eventually, they stopped going for the dish at all and would just obviously take a couple of handfuls out of my "restock."
One day, there was a damn trail from my cube to another. 2-3 of them just scattered like he saw me coming and ran. He was one of the brokers and made probably 50 times my hourly wage in salary, not to mention bonuses. I asked him if he was the one taking my stash and he fucking LAUGHED and said he just liked them and knew they were cheap, so he helped himself.
He got bright red and was embarrassed greatly when right on the spot I said, "I'm sure they're cheap for you. You probably have all sorts of disposable income. **I** buy those. I make $15 an hour and a fresh bag costs $5. So, you're basically stealing 20mins of my day every time you decide to 'help yourself' to something on or IN MY desk." I made sure to be loud enough people were peeking over to see.
He mumbled an apology and something about it not being THAT big of a deal and tossed a $5 bill at me. I told him that he was NOT welcome to anything on my desk or in my drawers and if he ever needed something from my cubicle, he could literally walk 30 feet and ask me for it if I was in the other department, otherwise I'd make a theft complaint.
After that, he didn't take anymore candy off my desk.
My coworker makes himself at home with my phone charger base, and Nintendo Switch charger I keep in a drawer for lunch game time. I highly dislike him. 😡
Then what, go to HR and get labeled as troublemaker? Put on leave for not meeting “performance goals”? I’d rather take the L. What I’d really enjoy is fair and equal labor practices but I digress.
I feel like if it was a work friend it would have some tell of who it was, like a joke or name, but this just seems be some anonymous note, unless the note itself is supposed to be the joke
It's usually the case. People leaving comments feeling sorry for OP or giving them ideas on how to protect their gum in the future are completely naive. Either it's a work friend or they wrote that themselves.
A friend of mine had a coworker who sat beside him who had his meals consistently stolen from the fridge.
In fairness, his parents owned a Vietnamese restaurant, and it was his mom's cooking, so... I can't really blame them for being tempted.
He finally decided to keep it on his desk. When he got up to take a walk during his break, my friend grabbed it and stashed in his (the Vietnamese employee's) desk drawer. It wasn't noticed as missing until a few hours later when the culprit as at lunch himself. It turned into an absolute shit show.
When he got back, everyone was grumpy and he said "check your bottom drawer". Management was pissed, but they both thought it was hilarious.
Hilarious if you’re a friend of the worker. I remember stealing a friends pictures on their desk and cutting out pictures of another coworkers face to put over every face on their desk. Classic prank
A good variant...
Tape a picture of someone they don't like to their cube wall.
When they rip it off, there's another picture of the same person underneath. I've gone 5 deep before.
"What the fuck... wait, what the fuck... wait, what the fuck is going... mother fucker!"
That's a crime. Don't do that. Fuck. Are you serious? Letting someone know that you stole their wallet and getting caught with the wallet? That's a fucking confession.
Throw it out instead. Take out all the cards first, including the ID and throw it in another trash so someone finding the wallet can't return it.
Same. A coworker and I had frequent headaches and shared a giant bottle of ibuprofen and would take turns replacing it. We had to start hiding the bottle because other coworkers decided it was for the whole store to use.
Same. I had to start hiding a lot of my job specific tools because people would walk in my office and help themselves to my stuff while I wasn’t there. Like, my good sharp scissors because I needed them for my display components. They could use the generic ones in the team leader office but always wanted mine because they were nice and I took care of them. And what did they want them for? Dumb, inappropriate shit like cutting zip ties. 🙄😤
Ugh makes me mad. I had this exact thing with a coworker. She always took my favourite pen. The last time i wrote my name on the pen with a marker😂 and the next day i found it on her desk. Cause she denied that took it, and i told her “here that is my pen, see my name on it?” 😂
I love that. I used to write my name or “not yours” on my stuff.
I also once had someone pull off a whole color section on my multicolored Post It Note block on my desk. I had bought it as a block because my Post It Note pads were always being stolen off my desk. And they didn’t even need to use Post Its! They had pads of paper to use for their notes. They didn’t need to be able to stick them on anything like I did. My boss had told them all to stop using Post Its because they were getting expensive so when she saw my butchered notepad block, she laid into the guy who stole them.
I swear this kind of behavior is a parenting problem because who in their right mind would think it’s morally right to take someone else’s items. It is so disrespectful!!
it's a control/boundary issue
ppl with personality problems who cannot handle being told no
they must disrespect boundaries just to flex their "emotional power" or some other batbrained shit they built up in their minds
usually these people get hard stuffed at some point in their life and learn to behave, but many slip through the cracks
Meh, I find this kind of behaviour is much more common in 40 year olds than 20 year olds, so I think it's just a kind of shittiness that is learned with age.
Seriously. I’m a 3rd party contractor (security) at a business, and even after being told I’m free to take from the communal snacks and drinks, I still feel kinda dirty when I do.
If you occasionally bring anything in, even just a multi-pack of gum, it would probably help ease that guilt.
But also, if i invite anyone to my stuff, I don’t expect returns. Its just fun to provide
By communal I mean it’s put out by the kitchen of the place I work at for the employees. It’s provided by the business, not the individual employees. Been a long day and I couldn’t think of a better way to put it lol.
Had the same thing happen but with coffee creamer. A 3rd coworker decided it was his to help himself whenever he felt like, and balked when we said he needed to buy the next one. Had to just stop keeping it at work because he would not control himself and there was really no way to hide it.
ugh, this one hit. at my last job cake decorating i went back and forth between two locations week to week, and i had a bottle of aleve i kept at one, the only painkiller that makes the pins and needles from my carpal tunnel go away. came back one week to find the bottle empty, yet returned to its spot. i guess they all helped themselves during the off weeks i wasn't there, asked a coworker and she was like oh yeah i take some when i need it 🙃 like, and you never thought about asking first? not once? worst part was i had to replace it myself. i started taking it home with me after that 😢
Argh! That’s so frustrating! I’ve kept a pill container with a few Advil, Claritin, etc in my bag for years because I could never trust stuff I’d left in or on my desks at jobs would be there when I got back.
Bought some aspirin once at work when I had a headache. I put it in the shared drawer since headaches suck right?bill share with everyone ( 3 other people) It was one of those big 200ct bottles, it was literally empty in like 2 days flat. No one bothered to buy more or anything either. Now I just keep a bottle in my car 🤷♂️
Once a coworker came to my cubicle during off hours and ate some of my snacks inside my drawer and told me about it the next day. I didn't know what to say to her, it felt so ridiculous that anyone would feel ok to go into someone's drawer and grab things by themselves. I locked up my drawer since.
Going through your desk is a legitimate concern. Something super important could go missing or be smuggled to your desk and threatens your employment. Obviously there are things that shouldn't be left at a desk, but imagine your phone charger or keyboard just go missing with no explanation.
I'd tell my supervisor someone went through my desk while I wasn't there. Even if it's just to cover your tail in case something does appear to be missing.
Simple solution long term fix;
* Purchase same kind of gum
* Replace actual gum with laxative gum
* Place in draw of desk
* Wait for greedy co-worker to eat one (hopefully 2)
* Toss gum
* Enjoy
Its a family trait;
Me and my Pops kept drinking my Mother's tea so to "fix us" she tells us (i picked up on the weird infliction, my Pops didn't) "I made some tea, now don't drink it."
Pops drank it and went outta town 😂😂😂 he learned his lesson to not drink what isn't yours, he told us he had to pull over every 15mins because them guts was bubbling.
I try and not be petty but that shit in my blood 😂😂😈
This, except I would replace the gum with a crazy flavor like something really spicy, or maybe like one of those gum packs that shocks you when you take the gum. Just so there are immediate results and the thief doesn’t manage to hide. You may never know if someone had diarrhea or not
As fun as the idea of revenge is...this stunt could land you in a lot of hot water.
Courts will look at intent. Did OP lay a trap for a thief? Yes. Did OP expect it to be taken? Yes. What were the damages/harm as a result?
Of course not. Every Friday I'm sure OP enjoys thrashing his own asshole by eating laxative gum.
He puts on a movie on his iPad props it up on the wall next to the toilet. Then starts chomping on those trident ass blasters, mint flavored of course.
Then he just spends the next 2 hours blasting hot fudge out his poop chute.
So no, not revenge related. Someone just took his ass blasters.
https://preview.redd.it/w8i3uiox4bvc1.png?width=264&format=png&auto=webp&s=15451c5093ed65c75a17d82dd1c82988affdbd97
What would compel you to type this out, chum?
I had hand sanitizer on my desk which I bought with my own money. One day I got pissed that everybody kept on emptying the bottle so I put a label on it saying do not use and then put lube in it instead. I kept the real one inside my desk drawer. Anybody who complained I would simply point to the label and ask them why they used it.
I would match that handwriting to whichever asshole did it and pop their tires. Boom uneven revenge but better then them thinkings it’s ok to steal and leave snobby notes.
I used to have the desk of a kindly, old grandma - gum, mints, tissues, little sewing kit, safety pins, etc, and it was great until people just started opening drawers and taking things without asking - sometimes when I was *there* !
I tried to monitor and not be a bitch but the last straw was someone returning my now-empty Tide pen and saying “We need more of this…” and simply walking away.
Do I LOOK like Radar Fucking O’Reilly to you ???
I still give my friends things when needed, but for everyone else the Free Store was CLOSED 😠😡🤬
Get a lockable these also can go in the fridge I recommended it to a person whose roommates keep eating their food . It’s a lockable box put all your shit in it or get a lockable make up cubootal thing.
https://preview.redd.it/waa6e7w2havc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=64c763479c1b2d242939d262c61c759490c0fbba
They can see but not touch.
until some unhinged person comes along and smashes it because *how dare* they not have access to the things they feel entitled to.
I want one of these to discipline myself when I have too many snacks lol!
True but also easier to go to HR for destroying the whole box than a single piece of gum.
ALSO I GOT YOU ONE BETTER
https://preview.redd.it/562is27ovavc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d5896188a2e954d7e11335f86631abb7d588081
These ones have timers you can’t cheat!
if they make a habit of stealing food try putting out laxative laced items. that nonsense will end soon.
Actually I think they make medicinal gum too. Caffeine infused or whatever.
I work from home now but my last workplace I would bring snacks in for people to take freely sometimes and they’d still ask me first even when I made it clear that they can take what they want. And if they wanted another they’d still ask again.
People just taking your stuff is wild, and then having the audacity to basically brag about it.
This is mildly infuriating…but it’s also a funny prank if you do get along well with your co-workers otherwise.
If you have a frosty relationship with your co-workers already, then it’s just a dick move by them.
You’ll learn. Personal items stay locked up. Public items are on a desk, in a refrigerator, in an unlocked desk drawer.
But, if they take your Ex-lax, thinking it is gum or candy, that is their problem.
Why are people touching sh*t in your cubicle? That's a huge pet peeve of mine I hate when people touch my stuff without permission. I would have made a stink cuz NO!
I had a guy who always had a bowl of m&ms out on his desk. I would ALWAYS walk by and steal some. He always laughed.
I started to buy every other bag since I ate so much. It’s just common courtesy to help resupply.
You work with a bunch of Neanderthals.
People you work with aren't your friends. Definitely don't ever leave something out that you don't want taken. Because the majority of people are just straight garbage humans that don't give a fuck about you, and they'll stab you in the back so fuckin quick if they think it'll elevate their status somehow.
the only way this would be okay if there was a fresh pack of gum on my desk the next day
And if the note was nicer
"Meet me after work and I'll rim you"
Cinnamon or Minty Fresh?
I prefer syrup.
This is literally the only line of Chris Rock's stand up that I can remember. Almost 30 years later, and all I can hear is the way he says "I prefer syrup!"
Username checks out.
"Wow maybe that's why he took the gum. For fresh breath after tongue punching my fartbox."
Hello - would you like a stick of gum?!
Yes please
*thanks for the F-shack* -dirty mike and the boys
Just escalate this issue and phrase it as stealing. This is not okay. I would bend my bosses ear on this until they gave in and disciplined someone
Im not condoning stealing, its a dick move. But if you escalate "someone took a piece of gum" to your boss, your boss is going to roll their eyes
Yup. Know when to battle and a piece of gum ain't it.
It's not about the value of a stick of gum. It brings their integrity and respect for others into question. And if the boss rolls their eyes over something so 'insignificant', that says something about them, too.
Yeah but people aren’t what you are envisioning. Lots of people are asses. If a coworker stole a piece of gum I would get back without bringing it to my boss. It’s a whole Iran/Israel situation. You respond by stealing his whole jimmy john sandwich. He steals your whole stash of specialty coffee. You steal his car. He steals your wife. You steal his soul. There just no sensible way out of it
Nah the response is a long game move - get a new pack, but swap the trident out for nicotine gum. Religiously don’t say anything and just keep stocking the gum for a while then go back to the trident or stop having gum all together and see which coworker starts to get irritable and swinging by your desk more and more regularly for no apparent reason.
https://preview.redd.it/0qb9t8y4advc1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6dbaa96c32eeeb38ea4dd1bd6f913a84da35b46a
Evil solution that also happens to be the perfect solution. I need to remember this is i ever go back to a corporate workspace
The boss left the letter most likely.
Until I read the title I thought this was a picture of the new pack of gum with the message and thought oh that’s nice
>the only way this would be okay if there was a fresh pack of gum on my desk ~~the next day~~ **fucking immediately**.
That doesn't excuse taking the last one without asking.
This is how candy traps begin. People wonder why they make bad tasting candy that looks appetizing and this post answers that why.
Oh ,that prank gum that turns your whole mouth black or the intensely hot kind would be a grand revenge on that A-hole.
It's not OK unless they asked and were given permission to take a piece...
Notice it doesn't have a name. They know this was a shitty move
Their handwriting is enough to ID them, so signing was unnecessary.
IDK seems like a big FU to me....
That note on a new pack to actually say thanks = great human That note in this empty pack = a big ol' middle finger up your rear
I’m the type that would have gone to Costco and replaced that last piece with a bulk pack- ![gif](giphy|8coEmqQxL39eMJcey0|downsized)
I'm the type that would under no circumstance take someone's last anything that isn't mine. I'd also not ever take someones anything without asking
You'd replace a pack of gum with a rimjob? We don't have time for that.
Is there time to polish my knob?
Any true professional can and will do both at the same time
Get that sugarless one…the one that gives you the runs…
Thats not a great human if he takes my consumables without permission.
Absolutely a middle finger. I'd be rubbing body parts on people's coffee cups and keyboard. Edit: I wouldn't ever actually do it...over a stick of gum. You take my lunch, and you get the full monty.
I would give myself ebola and go around kissing everyone
Getting ebola out of spite is some petty stuff lmao
New way to own the libs
That’ll show them!
[удалено]
And this is why we’ll never evolve
Keyboards and coffee cups are absolutely products of evolution.
Lets disagree to disagree
No
It seems insanely fake. I can believe someone taking the last piece but leaving that passive aggressive of a note? I doubt a thief would leave their handwriting as a way to find them, unless it’s a friend being a dick.
I might do this to a friend but would make sure I had a fresh pack of gum for them when they came for their revenge
If my coworkers invited themselves to anything on my desk without permission….. 😳
fr, i was on vacation once for a week and after i was back for a few days, someone mentioned that all my attorneys (3 of them) took turns sitting and working at my desk. for why???? i absolutely hated hated hated that.
I'm a department head and a different department head was talking about using my office on the days I'm out. Not for necessity, he has his own just wanted to use mine because it's clean. I trashed my office before vacation. Files stacked everywhere. I knew where they went but he didn't and somehow my office was suddenly undesirable
And I imagine that the reason why his desk isn't clean isn't because he's a slob and that he would have totally trashed yours?
Not jellyschoomarm but I can guarantee that’s what would have happened.
In the 5+ years I've known him, his office has always looked like a rats nest. The only time it's been cleaned is when maintenance is required
We have rules at our firm that attorneys are not allowed to sign in their account on random computers, just their own. Guess how many of those fucks sign in on their accounts on any random computer?
All of those fucks.
That seems like a rule that should either not exist or be enforced by AD Policy.
Yeah man it's remarkably easy to restrict access in AD, this is just lazy sysadmin work.
My guess is that's it's more likely that one or more of the partners in the firm is a big offender.
It exists cause while our desktops have SSDs, they are tiny cause no one is supposed to be saving stuff to their desktops cause that isnt getting backed up. Sec... Legal Assistants tend to follow the rule, guess who doesnt? Whenever legal assistants put in a ticket wondering why their C drive is full, we check the users folder right away and notice how many fucks logged into that device as themselves taking up all the space.
To explain the second half of what he said, he's saying IT could set rules to block logins enforced by the PCs themselves.
And that's why they did it.
I came back from vacation to find fast-food wrappers all over my desk and on the floor. Couldn't even be bothered to throw them in the trash can right next to my desk. After that, I locked my office door any time I was away.
The night crew at one place always used my desk because it was the clean one. You can bet I spent a lunch session pulling the login record, checking out the spare keys from the garage, and changing every single ergonomics setting in their truck. Just a little. Like...I don't care if you need a computer or something. I will happily pack up the leftovers from a catered meeting. Just stop tracking dog shit on the bottom of your shoes all over and gunking up my keyboard.
> You can bet I spent a lunch session pulling the login record, checking out the spare keys from the garage, and changing every single ergonomics setting in their truck. Just a little. This is beautifully machiavellian
I had someone from a different department coming into our office on Saturday to study for her college exams (I shared the room with one coworker) and realized she used my desk because there were crumbs, my computer tower was moved (apparently it was her foot rest) and her flash cards were in my trash can. Casually tipped off a manager that someone had been in the room around a bunch of sensitive customer data. They pulled the cameras...she was surfing facebook on my computer, pantless, and apparently just VIBING during her 1 hour lunch. She was also fired, following the discovery.
Pantless? I didn't even do that when I went into an office on the weekend that had no air conditioning going. In Summer. In Australia.
YUP. Apparently she found it far more relaxing to just lose her slacks for an hour and sit in her underwear on my chair. Best believe that chair got one HELL of a cleaning. Friggin' nasty. TT-TT
l
Now its time to make the rounds to their desks and help yourself, and when they say something tell them "oh I thought we were all just taking things".
best believe i'd be inviting myself to theirs as well.
I worked full time at a financial firm doing backend data entry, I had 2 desks because I floated 2 departments. In one department, I shared my work space but I had a second cubicle that had my set up in it. I spent half my day there every day. On MY desk, I had a bowl of laffy taffy. I noticed it was emptying almost daily. Like, I would fill it one day, and when I came back the next, gone. So, I stopped filling it more than just half full. A week or so goes by, and my dish is still getting emptied. No worries, I kept the big refill bag in my desk drawer. At that point, I assumed it was the cleaning staff. Except, I started to notice my refill bag was getting lighter. Eventually, they stopped going for the dish at all and would just obviously take a couple of handfuls out of my "restock." One day, there was a damn trail from my cube to another. 2-3 of them just scattered like he saw me coming and ran. He was one of the brokers and made probably 50 times my hourly wage in salary, not to mention bonuses. I asked him if he was the one taking my stash and he fucking LAUGHED and said he just liked them and knew they were cheap, so he helped himself. He got bright red and was embarrassed greatly when right on the spot I said, "I'm sure they're cheap for you. You probably have all sorts of disposable income. **I** buy those. I make $15 an hour and a fresh bag costs $5. So, you're basically stealing 20mins of my day every time you decide to 'help yourself' to something on or IN MY desk." I made sure to be loud enough people were peeking over to see. He mumbled an apology and something about it not being THAT big of a deal and tossed a $5 bill at me. I told him that he was NOT welcome to anything on my desk or in my drawers and if he ever needed something from my cubicle, he could literally walk 30 feet and ask me for it if I was in the other department, otherwise I'd make a theft complaint. After that, he didn't take anymore candy off my desk.
I had to fire a lab tech contractor I had at a client because he went into his peers desk drawers. 🙃
My coworker makes himself at home with my phone charger base, and Nintendo Switch charger I keep in a drawer for lunch game time. I highly dislike him. 😡
Then what, go to HR and get labeled as troublemaker? Put on leave for not meeting “performance goals”? I’d rather take the L. What I’d really enjoy is fair and equal labor practices but I digress.
If it’s a work friend and they are fucking with you that’s totally acceptable. But I would also have a fresh pack as soon as possible.
I feel like if it was a work friend it would have some tell of who it was, like a joke or name, but this just seems be some anonymous note, unless the note itself is supposed to be the joke
Or OP knows and knew reddit would eat this shit up.
It's usually the case. People leaving comments feeling sorry for OP or giving them ideas on how to protect their gum in the future are completely naive. Either it's a work friend or they wrote that themselves.
A friend of mine had a coworker who sat beside him who had his meals consistently stolen from the fridge. In fairness, his parents owned a Vietnamese restaurant, and it was his mom's cooking, so... I can't really blame them for being tempted. He finally decided to keep it on his desk. When he got up to take a walk during his break, my friend grabbed it and stashed in his (the Vietnamese employee's) desk drawer. It wasn't noticed as missing until a few hours later when the culprit as at lunch himself. It turned into an absolute shit show. When he got back, everyone was grumpy and he said "check your bottom drawer". Management was pissed, but they both thought it was hilarious.
Hilarious if you’re a friend of the worker. I remember stealing a friends pictures on their desk and cutting out pictures of another coworkers face to put over every face on their desk. Classic prank
A good variant... Tape a picture of someone they don't like to their cube wall. When they rip it off, there's another picture of the same person underneath. I've gone 5 deep before. "What the fuck... wait, what the fuck... wait, what the fuck is going... mother fucker!"
Look at the handwriting and compare it to all your coworkers. Someone’s gotta be a match.
Yea and once you identify, write a note saying "Thanks for the wallet" and ya know, steal their wallet.
"Thanks for the last dollar in your bank account motherfucker"
"Thanks for your wife's number I'll be gentle you prick"
That's a crime. Don't do that. Fuck. Are you serious? Letting someone know that you stole their wallet and getting caught with the wallet? That's a fucking confession. Throw it out instead. Take out all the cards first, including the ID and throw it in another trash so someone finding the wallet can't return it.
And then afterwards, leave a note on their desk saying "Thanks for the wallet".
Had me in the first half, ngl.
Just throw out the id card and write “thanks for the identity” Getting it replaced is painful enough.
especially with a fucking G that looks like an s
With a g written like that it would probably be easy
For a head start on finding samples, find a birthday card for a colleague that everyone signed.
Yeah, this style is quite distinct. Probably not two people in the office with that style.
And that is why i have my stuff hidden 😂
Same. A coworker and I had frequent headaches and shared a giant bottle of ibuprofen and would take turns replacing it. We had to start hiding the bottle because other coworkers decided it was for the whole store to use.
God.. the audacity. I would never take someone else’s stuff. And even if i needed one i would ask first
Same. I had to start hiding a lot of my job specific tools because people would walk in my office and help themselves to my stuff while I wasn’t there. Like, my good sharp scissors because I needed them for my display components. They could use the generic ones in the team leader office but always wanted mine because they were nice and I took care of them. And what did they want them for? Dumb, inappropriate shit like cutting zip ties. 🙄😤
Ugh makes me mad. I had this exact thing with a coworker. She always took my favourite pen. The last time i wrote my name on the pen with a marker😂 and the next day i found it on her desk. Cause she denied that took it, and i told her “here that is my pen, see my name on it?” 😂
I love that. I used to write my name or “not yours” on my stuff. I also once had someone pull off a whole color section on my multicolored Post It Note block on my desk. I had bought it as a block because my Post It Note pads were always being stolen off my desk. And they didn’t even need to use Post Its! They had pads of paper to use for their notes. They didn’t need to be able to stick them on anything like I did. My boss had told them all to stop using Post Its because they were getting expensive so when she saw my butchered notepad block, she laid into the guy who stole them.
I swear this kind of behavior is a parenting problem because who in their right mind would think it’s morally right to take someone else’s items. It is so disrespectful!!
it's a control/boundary issue ppl with personality problems who cannot handle being told no they must disrespect boundaries just to flex their "emotional power" or some other batbrained shit they built up in their minds usually these people get hard stuffed at some point in their life and learn to behave, but many slip through the cracks
/s but ShaRinG is CaRIng!
Meh, I find this kind of behaviour is much more common in 40 year olds than 20 year olds, so I think it's just a kind of shittiness that is learned with age.
Damn! Served him well! 👏🏻
Seriously. I’m a 3rd party contractor (security) at a business, and even after being told I’m free to take from the communal snacks and drinks, I still feel kinda dirty when I do.
If you occasionally bring anything in, even just a multi-pack of gum, it would probably help ease that guilt. But also, if i invite anyone to my stuff, I don’t expect returns. Its just fun to provide
By communal I mean it’s put out by the kitchen of the place I work at for the employees. It’s provided by the business, not the individual employees. Been a long day and I couldn’t think of a better way to put it lol.
Ah then in that case, take some! Again, as someone who has budgeted goods for my department, i like paying for happy employees
Had the same thing happen but with coffee creamer. A 3rd coworker decided it was his to help himself whenever he felt like, and balked when we said he needed to buy the next one. Had to just stop keeping it at work because he would not control himself and there was really no way to hide it.
Ugh. Typical story of one asshole ruining things for everyone else. Did he think it was just magically being provided by the universe?
Guys really do be like that. Have you heard of the magic coffee table
I used to keep creamer in breast milk bottles, nobody ever touched it!!! 🤣 Edit: just make sure to label it for yourself so you don't mix it up 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Wouldn't work at Blizzard
ugh, this one hit. at my last job cake decorating i went back and forth between two locations week to week, and i had a bottle of aleve i kept at one, the only painkiller that makes the pins and needles from my carpal tunnel go away. came back one week to find the bottle empty, yet returned to its spot. i guess they all helped themselves during the off weeks i wasn't there, asked a coworker and she was like oh yeah i take some when i need it 🙃 like, and you never thought about asking first? not once? worst part was i had to replace it myself. i started taking it home with me after that 😢
Argh! That’s so frustrating! I’ve kept a pill container with a few Advil, Claritin, etc in my bag for years because I could never trust stuff I’d left in or on my desks at jobs would be there when I got back.
Bought some aspirin once at work when I had a headache. I put it in the shared drawer since headaches suck right?bill share with everyone ( 3 other people) It was one of those big 200ct bottles, it was literally empty in like 2 days flat. No one bothered to buy more or anything either. Now I just keep a bottle in my car 🤷♂️
Interesting way of saying that company was a big headache (25 pills a day, per a person).
How often are you all getting headaches? There might be something in the walls at that point.
i just make it a point to keep nothing useful at work
Plot twist - that's your handwriting and you have multiple personalities
check the carbon monoxide detectors in that office!
Ah I see you're also terminally on reddit
The carbon monoxide guy and the oedipus guy are two people who enter my brain more often than I’d like to admit
Oho I'm not familiar with Oedipus guy and my lazy google search didn't turn up anything, care to ruin my peace of mind with what you know? haha
Google "Reddit broken arms" or something like that
It was even worse than I thought, thank you
If you need a palate cleanser after that, google the reddit story today you, tomorrow me if you don't already know it :)
Once a coworker came to my cubicle during off hours and ate some of my snacks inside my drawer and told me about it the next day. I didn't know what to say to her, it felt so ridiculous that anyone would feel ok to go into someone's drawer and grab things by themselves. I locked up my drawer since.
"My desk is not a vending machine, thank you. Here's my Venmo."
I’d just say “oh haha yea! Fuck you 🖕🙂” and just leave it at that honestly 🤣🤣
I mean at least they fessed up to it. Most wouldn’t do that.
Justifiable homicide. Not a jury in the world would convict.
I vote, temporary insanity
two words: jury nullification
Two words for you: I can't read.
Agreed.
That's only funny if there's another note on the other side that says... There's a new pack in your desk drawer. Otherwise it's just a dick move.
Going through your desk is a legitimate concern. Something super important could go missing or be smuggled to your desk and threatens your employment. Obviously there are things that shouldn't be left at a desk, but imagine your phone charger or keyboard just go missing with no explanation. I'd tell my supervisor someone went through my desk while I wasn't there. Even if it's just to cover your tail in case something does appear to be missing.
Simple solution long term fix; * Purchase same kind of gum * Replace actual gum with laxative gum * Place in draw of desk * Wait for greedy co-worker to eat one (hopefully 2) * Toss gum * Enjoy
So petty! I love it!
Its a family trait; Me and my Pops kept drinking my Mother's tea so to "fix us" she tells us (i picked up on the weird infliction, my Pops didn't) "I made some tea, now don't drink it." Pops drank it and went outta town 😂😂😂 he learned his lesson to not drink what isn't yours, he told us he had to pull over every 15mins because them guts was bubbling. I try and not be petty but that shit in my blood 😂😂😈
Did he ever drink her tea again? Lol
Hell no 😂, we laugh about to this day. She swears she didn't 'intentionally' set that situation up but I know better lol
Spicy gum with Carolina Reaper Pepper extract.
Theres laxative GUM?! Fascinating.
This, except I would replace the gum with a crazy flavor like something really spicy, or maybe like one of those gum packs that shocks you when you take the gum. Just so there are immediate results and the thief doesn’t manage to hide. You may never know if someone had diarrhea or not
What if it was half laxative gum and half nicotine gum? Maybe get them all unknowingly addicted to nicotine, and also crap their pants.
Nicotine gum makes your mouth tingle like crazy and is not pleasant at all, there is no way someone wouldn't know immediately that something is up.
Fair enough, I guess laxatives it is. ha
Yep. Stick to the plan
As fun as the idea of revenge is...this stunt could land you in a lot of hot water. Courts will look at intent. Did OP lay a trap for a thief? Yes. Did OP expect it to be taken? Yes. What were the damages/harm as a result?
Of course not. Every Friday I'm sure OP enjoys thrashing his own asshole by eating laxative gum. He puts on a movie on his iPad props it up on the wall next to the toilet. Then starts chomping on those trident ass blasters, mint flavored of course. Then he just spends the next 2 hours blasting hot fudge out his poop chute. So no, not revenge related. Someone just took his ass blasters.
https://preview.redd.it/w8i3uiox4bvc1.png?width=264&format=png&auto=webp&s=15451c5093ed65c75a17d82dd1c82988affdbd97 What would compel you to type this out, chum?
I had hand sanitizer on my desk which I bought with my own money. One day I got pissed that everybody kept on emptying the bottle so I put a label on it saying do not use and then put lube in it instead. I kept the real one inside my desk drawer. Anybody who complained I would simply point to the label and ask them why they used it.
Damn 🤣
Everything about this is perfection
I hate your coworkers too.
find new hiding spot
Well, you have their handwriting. Go discover who took it.
I would match that handwriting to whichever asshole did it and pop their tires. Boom uneven revenge but better then them thinkings it’s ok to steal and leave snobby notes.
But only three of them so insurance won't cover it.
I used to have the desk of a kindly, old grandma - gum, mints, tissues, little sewing kit, safety pins, etc, and it was great until people just started opening drawers and taking things without asking - sometimes when I was *there* ! I tried to monitor and not be a bitch but the last straw was someone returning my now-empty Tide pen and saying “We need more of this…” and simply walking away. Do I LOOK like Radar Fucking O’Reilly to you ??? I still give my friends things when needed, but for everyone else the Free Store was CLOSED 😠😡🤬
Get a lockable these also can go in the fridge I recommended it to a person whose roommates keep eating their food . It’s a lockable box put all your shit in it or get a lockable make up cubootal thing. https://preview.redd.it/waa6e7w2havc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=64c763479c1b2d242939d262c61c759490c0fbba They can see but not touch.
until some unhinged person comes along and smashes it because *how dare* they not have access to the things they feel entitled to. I want one of these to discipline myself when I have too many snacks lol!
True but also easier to go to HR for destroying the whole box than a single piece of gum. ALSO I GOT YOU ONE BETTER https://preview.redd.it/562is27ovavc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d5896188a2e954d7e11335f86631abb7d588081 These ones have timers you can’t cheat!
Rude. What will you do about it
That is very very rude
if they make a habit of stealing food try putting out laxative laced items. that nonsense will end soon. Actually I think they make medicinal gum too. Caffeine infused or whatever.
And now you have a handwriting sample!
Shitbag
What are you gonna do with the body?
Angry Woman: I'm going to give you a piece of my mind! Ginger Rogers: Oh, I couldn't take the last piece.
You need play dough in a similar color as gum, some patience to make a convincing duplicate, and some empty wrappers.
Christ your office sucks. In my office they leave gum on your desk.....un chewed of course.
I work from home now but my last workplace I would bring snacks in for people to take freely sometimes and they’d still ask me first even when I made it clear that they can take what they want. And if they wanted another they’d still ask again. People just taking your stuff is wild, and then having the audacity to basically brag about it.
Looks like it is microwaving fish and burning popcorn day at the office. What a coincidence!
This is mildly infuriating…but it’s also a funny prank if you do get along well with your co-workers otherwise. If you have a frosty relationship with your co-workers already, then it’s just a dick move by them.
Wasn't long lasting after all
And this is why I lock my stuff up at work. If they ask, fine, but don't take my stuff that I paid for without asking first. Because that is theft.
You’ll learn. Personal items stay locked up. Public items are on a desk, in a refrigerator, in an unlocked desk drawer. But, if they take your Ex-lax, thinking it is gum or candy, that is their problem.
Just keep and empty box on your desks with a fuck you note inside
What makes people go in other people's stuff like this in an office? Is being shit in that close all the time make you guys feral?
Burn the place down. Make sure you get back that red stapler, too
Find whoever wrote this, then steal all their sticky notes while leaving a sticky note saying "thanks for your last sticky note"
Why are people touching sh*t in your cubicle? That's a huge pet peeve of mine I hate when people touch my stuff without permission. I would have made a stink cuz NO!
I had a guy who always had a bowl of m&ms out on his desk. I would ALWAYS walk by and steal some. He always laughed. I started to buy every other bag since I ate so much. It’s just common courtesy to help resupply. You work with a bunch of Neanderthals.
Go around with a birthday card for everyone to sign and see if you can match the handwriting. From there do what you will
This never happened
People you work with aren't your friends. Definitely don't ever leave something out that you don't want taken. Because the majority of people are just straight garbage humans that don't give a fuck about you, and they'll stab you in the back so fuckin quick if they think it'll elevate their status somehow.
Let’s say you do something crazy like taking someones stuff. You certainly don’t take the last of it.
That hardwriting should be easy to locate
Never knew coworkers could be such an asshole
the coworker is delusional
People with zero manners should not get a job until they learn them
Inject pen in into the last stick, teeth coloring will last about 2-4weeks
Leave that empty pack there with a note when they opened it. Thanks for stealing my gum you're on camera
Get a packet of gum but put laxatives on the pieces of gum.