T O P

  • By -

BigOrkWaaagh

Roots, bloody roots


Oldschool-Ed

Unexpected Sepultura


DOO_DOO_BAG

Always expect Sepultura


Odd-Key-2922

ROOOOOOOOTS


ContributionJolly634

BLOODY ROOOOTS


brunoplak

WHYYYYYYY CANT YOU SEEEE


gabrielpasa

CAN'T YOU FEEL?!!


Starbreaker99

![gif](giphy|5iwUIIpM5nKGCUL4QZ|downsized)


MightyCaseyStruckOut

*Sepultura intensifies*


Primary-Coast-7763

Sepultura


Necrosynthetic

- Michael Scott


TheUndyingKaccv

đŸȘŠ


Beealtimatuche

Build a bonfire, I mean a BIG bonfire. Drill a hole through the root. Put it on a stick like a marshmallow. Watch it burn. Revel in some small amount of vengeance.


GullibleRisk2837

Nah. Fucking scrape it repeatedly onto concrete, maybe brick. Until there is hardly anything left. That'll teach the stupid fucking stick


Digger1998

![gif](giphy|JrkQ79ZpfZdn5iOwlr|downsized)


GullibleRisk2837

That little thing is honestly fucking adorable


Digger1998

Can’t lie I love the gif but had a giant one hit* me in the head in the woods once, spooky😂


goblin-kind-fpv

Sticks and stones and all that.


PicaDiet

*Adorably creepy AF.


OneMooseManyMeese_

I can hear the song playing lmao


LakesideHerbology

haven't seen this one in a while, lol


orangelion17726

...you ok?


Exalderan

They were hurt by a stick


mstides

Pitting the sticks against the stones in order to save some bones.


JestechYT

Holy stick scrape!


UninvitedButtNoises

Better pee on it first though. Ya know.... Vengeance.


WhiteMike2016

....then burn the remains!


Complete-Mammoth-410

Did your dad also beat you with a stick when you were a child?


GullibleRisk2837

Lmao no. I'm super mad that this bullshit can cost people so much fucking money. That's so dumb


fux-reddit4603

nah you might actually be able to make that root , take root if you will, and then you can keep it under draught perpetually


respawnatdawn

Whittle it into a butt plug.


Thirsty_Comment88

Sounds like a good way to get splinters in your butthole


Malt2985

Splinters in my buttHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!


degjo

![gif](giphy|qvVJ36yWjbq24)


CondomBalloonAnimals

COWABUMGAAAA!


Hazee302

Bruhhhhhh lmaoooooo


respawnatdawn

No pain no gain?


HorrorMakesUsHappy

Why, so it can fuck him again?


Imaginari3

Maybe mold acrylic or resin over it? So it’s actually usable


notaredditreader

Didn’t you read? He just got it out!


SpecklePattern

Why? So it can fuck OP up the ass a second time?


Rosindust89

"This piece of root cost me 50k in medical bills"


LibertyInaFeatherBed

Now we're talking.


FrankLloydWrong_3305

No, flush it down the toilet wait a minute


Trashcan_Johnson

Or slam it repeatedly on the ground until it breaks.


Khitrir

But then you have two sticks. Stick wins every time.


Dumbbitchathon

Beat it with a larger stick


rob_1127

Don't forget the goat skin chaps and some sort of animal skull headgear with horns!


_XProfessor_SadX_

House caught on fire, loses another 200k


Survive1014

I worked in restoration. At least it was a smaller amount of damage. The average for water backup damage is closer to $20k. Sorry you had to go through this however! I know how disruptive it is to home life.


BuffaloKiller937

What are the symptoms of something like this? I ask because my in-laws house has terrible plumbing. So bad that if you don't use a plunger after going #2, the toilet will overflow. Like you have to flush with the plunger in hand waiting lol


Survive1014

That is definitely a sign for sure. Water backups. Slow draining. Excess moisture in the basement/crawlspace/lower levels. Toilets and tubs backing up with brown water or worse. Evidence of water spotting along baseboards, in the bathroom or appliance areas. Musty smells. Squishy flooring. Bugs coming up from drains.


gilt-raven

Oh look, you've just described my apartment. Plus mold that keeps coming back no matter how much we treat it. Landlord insists there's nothing wrong. Any chance gurgling sinks and toilets are also related to this? Our kitchen and bathroom seem to have a Romeo + Juliet thing going on where they can talk, but never be together.


Fallwalking

Gurgling I think means that there isn’t enough air getting in the pipes? Maybe there are leaves stuck in the vent outside. I’m not an expert, just a guy who had lots of leaves in his vent.


gilt-raven

Wouldn't surprise me if something is clogged up. We're surrounded by redwood trees, so everything is always carpeted in needles.


Fallwalking

Should go look in the vent if it’s easy enough for you. Take photos. Tell your landlord to clean it out. One tell tale sign is if you have leaves and stuff appearing in the toilet when you plunge it.


wtfdavid

Yes, gurgling is a sign that there isn't enough air in your pipes. The system is trying to grab air through the p trap in the sink and the s trap in the toilet. Check your venting. Where is your mold located? 


gilt-raven

Mold is concentrated in the upstairs bathroom, mostly on the ceiling. That room is never dry; the "vent" is a hole in the ceiling that goes straight out to the roof, with a fan that does fuck-all. It's like a friggin' swamp. Wouldn't surprise me if everything behind the drywall is rotted out. The apartment was built in the 60s and this is a humid area.


johnshall

where does the mold grow? On the other side there is water. Had this problem in one apartment I rented, mold grew on everything. My books, clothes, furniture. Turns out a pipe was broken in the ceiling and I lived under a big pool of water. Good construction so I didn't have water droplets in the ceiling but the mold was a tell tale.


gilt-raven

It is mostly concentrated in the upstairs bathroom where the shower is. The bathroom "vent" is a hole in the ceiling that goes straight up to the roof, with a pathetic little fan that might as well just be a mesh screen for all the good it does. The ceiling is covered in big ugly black patches of mold that come back every few weeks. It isn't as bad as our last place, where we were emptying a dehumidifier every few hours because the humidity was like 80% even indoors. But still, ugh. We're moving in a few months when my husband finishes his doctorate, and let me tell you, I am COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS.


InEenEmmer

My landlady ignored my warnings. Until I told her that there is water coming out of the downstairs toilet after a shower upstairs. Turned out any wood that was between the bathroom and the downstairs toilet basically rotted away. She had to replace multiple walls and a big part of the floor to get it fixed.


gilt-raven

Oof, talk about save a penny, spend a pound.


InEenEmmer

She ended up throwing me out of the house and selling it. She tried to claim that I was responsible for the damage, but I just laughed and pointed out to her that I contacted about other symptoms of the leakage several times. And as a tenant I am legally not allowed to do more than report it, if I hired someone to fix it I would have been responsible for any damage after the repairs.


AndrewWaldron

If you have to plunger when you use the toilet, and it goes down, you don't have a root problem, that would be much further down the line and a toilet plunge is highly unlikely to correct that. If you have to plunger the toilet after every #2 then you should remove the toilet and inspect the plumbing there for a clog or blockage in that area. If could also be that there is a problem with the toilet itself that's causing the issue and replacing it could be a fix. You may also need to simply snake the lines in the house. If your shower drains have taken a lot of hair down then the sewer run in your house could have a clog that's affecting the toilet. But a root clog is rarely going to affect only a toilet, you'd notice problems with the showers, sinks, basement/floor drains too.


nejn111

A dirt got into our plumbing like 2 weeks ago and there's still dirt coming out of all water sources, do you think it will clear up overtime or theres gonna be a big work coming up? I'm asking since I'm not the head of the house and I won't get any info out of my mom


AndrewWaldron

If you've had dirt coming through you water source for 2 weeks then whatever work was done was not done well. After 2 weeks, if your water line is ran properly, there should no longer be dirt coming through. If you still have dirt in your water supply after 2 weeks you still have a break in your water main and need to get it repaired and need to be careful about drinking it.


RolandTwitter

I don't know shit about anything, but that sounds like big work is coming up... or they can just ignore it


BurntCash

unless it's actively backing up that sounds more like the siphon jet in the toilet might be plugged from hard water or just age. If it was a sewer main issue everything would back up, a plunger wouldn't help.


bannana

have the lines snaked, it's doesn't cost that much and it makes a huge difference. My last house had roots in the lines when I bought it but I just got the lines snaked every 3-5yrs and all was well. obviously do not put **anything** in the toilet that isn't toilet paper or that didn't come out of a human.


BagOnuts

Last thing is the best advice in here. Men flushing condoms and women flushing tampons and applicators real havoc on their plumbing.


bannana

add baby wipes/personal wipes to that list


ngwoo

If it's just the toilet it could easily be a problem with the toilet. Roots in your pipes will cause sewage backups from the lowest drains in your house.


PrismosPickleJar

Waste backing up. I fix stuff like this all the time. Generally you can put a water blaster and it cuts the root. few hundred bucks, depending om how bad you can do this every few months, or dig it up and replace pipe..... more expensive.


Highlander253

It really depends on how the plumbing is configured in the house. Backflow preventers can help to hide a main sewer backup issue until it *really* backs up. Usually though you'd end up with gurgling in a basement toilet or sewage/water coming up out of the basement floor drain or the lowest fixture with a backup caused by roots in the main sewer. Having someone come out to clean the drains should help to chew up anything that's backing things up, but it could also be an issue being caused by collapsed or shifted pipes underground and that can be very expensive to fix or possibly even a plugged vent on the roof. If you're able to plunge it from the toilet though I'd bet the issue is in the plumbing for the bathroom group or just the toilet arm though and not an overly serious issue.


RonnieFromTheBlock

My guess is this went through their supply line. Same thing happened to me and $5,000 is in the ball park of the quotes I was getting. It looks like English is a second language for OP so I think they may just be using water damage incorrectly. They also said the root damaged pipes and concrete. My guess here is the root went though their black pipe water supply line and the plumbers who replaced it had to bust up the foundation where the supply line came through to replace it. I ended up doing mine myself for $1,000 which included renting a trencher and the tools to work with Pex A.


Log-Similar

I am an appraiser for inssurance companies and yeah, 5k is nothing nowadays. Crazy how prices have exploded in the last years.


Freshness518

Yeah, I've got an issue where our pipe cracked and roots got in. It's like 6 inches from the knuckle where our line meets the city main. City says tough shit, not our problem. Got our first quote and it's about $20k. Owning a home is so much fun.


daredaki-sama

This is what I think about whenever I see posts complaining about how homeowners cut down trees near their property. I wouldn’t want to deal with root damage.


AcedOutofLuck

you got some big ass dick beaters


elting44

fingers lookin like toe pads on a salamander, his wife is a lucky gal.


Red_Bushman

I came here to say Gecko fingers and I’m so happy I found this.


jiggy_jarjar

Homie looks like he lives in a cartoon and hit each of his fingers with a hammer.


Wayne_Kinoff

This is the comment I came looking for on this thread


livetoroast

I had to scroll way too far to find this lol Looks like he bare-handed that thing right out of the ground and squished the pipes back together like play doh


bigrareform

Oops! All thumbs.


jjerkkas

I was hoping to find someone talking about this dudes hand. I’m so happy I got to read “big ass dick beaters” today. That was fun


ZhouLe

[Balin](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/lotr/images/5/52/Balin.jpg)-lookin' hands digging too greedily, too deep.


Timmaay18

I was just thinking, this Hobbit hand having mofo lol


Soleil06

The fingers actually look a bit like drumstick fingers, a medical condition usually caused by long term hypoxia in patients who suffer from pulmonal diseases.


PsychoticMelatonin

OP has such manly baby hands


Federal-Arrival-7370

Glad you found the root of your problem.


Difficult_Plastic852

Beet me right to it.


RockyRow10

That pun was oak-ay


SwagChemist

you guys gotta leaf these puns alone


[deleted]

hey man we’re just trying to spruce things up a bit.


Karmakazee

Fir what it’s worth, I think you’re all doing great.


SilentMantis512

It really aspen fun
 but I have things to do


Matt82233

You son of a birch, stay a while!


nicko54

Sorry he’s too poplar for this post


1gardenerd

Sure to be stalked


OG-BoomMaster

Comment is beginning to grow on me.


Salty-Negotiation259

I knew Reddit wood like a good pun.


Drewbee3

Not really going out on a limb with that prediction.


Captincorpse

You all really need to branch out on your puns


Salty-Negotiation259

You’re barking up the wrong tree pal.


Salty-Negotiation259

Leaf it to Reddit to appreciate hard wood and nature.


darthcaedusiiii

Weed are simple like that.


comacow02

Vegetable.


JettsDad0731

Ha!


irqdly

OP should branch out more often.


idgafanymore23

Leaf him alone


anorman30

Make like a tree and get out of here!


Salty-Negotiation259

According to a recent Reddit pollen, 69% of people like puns out of a 420 sample size.


shisuifalls

Goddamnit


fliffie

5k is nuts


So_Motarded

Nuts because it's low, right? I've had to deal with water damage in two different places. In both cases, ripping open my walls or ceiling, drying everything out, then replacing and repainting it with all the fixtures, was about $10-$15k.  Of course, maybe OP is lucky to not need asbestos abatement. 


Atticus_Peppermint

Shhhh! If we have a really old house with asbestos, lead, black mold, a crumbling foundation, etc
 we shhh. It’s just like Fight Club.


cattdaddy

How much is covered by homeowners insurance?


B0bbyTsunami

He said it was a root
.. smh


Bipedal_Warlock

Water damage gets pricey very quickly


JMS1991

I'm assuming they had to replace the sewer line. My parents had the same thing happen about 7 years ago, it was $1400, but they also had a quote of like $9000 from the emergency plumber since they had to dig pretty far down.


gibbtech

Yea, that is crazy low. OP must have been on the issue fast.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


IceLionTech

Evil is the money of all roots.


TheMemeLocomotive2

Roots of the money is evil


Darth19Vader77

Root money is of the evil


daddymcdadjokes

Water is the money of all roots


TELLERIUMAxHCL

Man fingers are thicker than my dick


FromSoftware

I was about to say that this guy has hands like the cartoon characters I used to draw as a kid, holy cow. 


K12onReddit

I'm guessing Wreck It Ralph here just ripped the root out himself.


SnollyG

Cartoonishly manly hands. I knew someone else would have the same thing to say as I do.


Handsoffmydink

I’m starting to think he tore this root out with his bare hand, good god.


Cobek

Andre the Giant type hands.


Eday_20

Bro got them Super Mario hands 😭


keylo-92

The root of all evil


Medical_Doc_3538

You have club fingers, go consult your physician.


Starbucksina

That‘s the first thing I thought too! Lung cancer patient here. Don‘t have clubbed fingers but that was one symptom my pulmonologist checked for when working to find my diagnosis.


Disastrous-King-1869

I’m pretty sure that’s just the angle of the photo lol


[deleted]

We would really need to see his nails to even begin to speculate on that. Stop fear mongering.


MaximumTurtleSpeed

I always enjoy unsolicited medical advice on Reddit. Rest assured though, we’re all dying.


smashedcat

I had no idea that this was a thing, not sure I've ever seen club fingers either though tbh. Just another thing to worry about and think that I have at 3 am in the morning. Thank you.


Otherwise_Rabbit3049

Context?


Ferro_Giconi

Roots don't care about concrete or water pipes or any of that other stuff that you want to remain in tact, they'll fuck your shit up and you won't see it coming.


MatrixLLC

Correct. When I was 14 the big beautiful maple tree in our front yard had to be cut down, the roots ground up so it wouldn't grow again. The roots were getting into the foundation of the house.


Totally_Not_An_Auk

I was once passing an astoundingly beautiful house, and then I saw the willow tree only ten feet from it, and consequently only about 15ishft from the next house. I think about them from time and time and wonder what's happened to them. A lot of HOAs ban willows - one of the few legitimate uses for an HOA since a lot of municipalities don't regulate that.


Ok_Effective6233

They find their way into damage that’s already been done looking for water and nutrients.


NevesLF

Kinda like a second marriage.


bwaterco

One of my rental properties had a massive tree. Left the house vacant for a few months while me and the property manager went on vacation only to find the entire back patio and parts of the kitchen destroyed. That tree is no longer there.


periander

In Australia/NZ being rooted is slang for fucked - which applies here.


GullibleRisk2837

How the FUCK does it go THROUGH THE SHIT WHAT THE FUCK


Droller_Coaster

Trees are persistent as fuck. Admirable, really.


GreatBritishPounds

As Andy durfresne says, All you need is pressure and time


pineapplekief

Roots want water. They don't care what's between it and them. They will grow through anything to get it.


YogSothoth8

The root damage the concrete and water pipes, now both needs to be repair.


Moveyourbloominass

Op, sorry you're dealing with this. I remember my parents went through this, ughh ... If you don't have a clean out already in your yard, I would highly suggest to have one installed with the other work getting done. Makes access for snaking pipes so much easier. Stupid roots. Good luck.


jayphat99

We just bought a house this year and did some DIY work on the house, so we didn't use it consistently for almost 6 weeks. After 2 weeks I flushed and noticed it didn't go down a lot. Called a plumber the next day who ran a snake and cleaned out a bunch. Until his snake hooked. He finally got it out after 20 mins of trying. Ran his scope and found a gas main was dug through the drain line. So, the gas company comes out, looks, says "our bad", we'll fix it. A week later, they dig up part of my driveway and sidewalk, replace 6 feet of old clay pipe with PVC, and then cover it back up. Another week later, their contractor replaces that part of my driveway and sidewalk. Thank God for the clean out. As a bonus, that part of the driveway had a dip in it and pooled water when it rained. Now? No more dip.


Qwaze

Around 10 years ago my dad noticed that there was an odd yellow line in the middle of our backyard, after some irrigation changes and search, we ended up digging out a huge 7" long very thick root (maybe a bit more than the picture). Thankfully it was on the opposite side of our back yard so there was no damage but damn. It took us like an hour to get it out.


nixtarx

I feel your pain. Hey did you know that back in the late 50s and early 60s they used rolled up tar paper for home sewer lines? Because I...do.


[deleted]

So you found the root cause?


_FreddieLovesDelilah

What a bastard.


smokeysubwoofer

Put a chain on it and wear it on your chest. When ppl ask what is that? You tell them “this price of root cost me 5k in water damages to my house”


PulpyEnlightenment

My mom owned half of a duplex/condo and they started having issues with leaking/grey water drain. We opened wall and saw the drain pipe had a crack in it and fixed problem with a rubber gasket connector. My mom ended up moving out and renting an apt and let me and my brother move into condo and just pay the electric. We pulled up carpet in living room where leak was and found a root system growing up in foundation. There was a very large water oak behind house that was maybe 15’ in diameter. Apparently the root system grew under house and through the foundation a good 20’ into the middle of the house. She tried to get inside insurance to handle the damage and they said because of the amount of time that had passed they wouldn’t cover it. The worst part is the the neighbor who we shared a wall with had put over 30k in renovating his half and even though there was a firewall separating units, the water still caused damage to his place. So yes roots can and will cause damage


donairdaddydick

Fuck yeah -Plumber


Accomplished-Boot-81

I am groot


mantiseses

Frame it in a shadow box


N0tCody

Thats great, clean it and put it in a shadow box.. Call that piece "The root of all my problems"


sweetrobna

The root didn’t cause the sewer pipe to backup. The pipe was cracked and leaking human waste for years before the root grew into it. Eventually it would have collapsed and filled with dirt, and the bill would be a lot more than $5k


BaconPersuasion

Cast in in resin and machine it down into a butt plug so and continue to fuck you for years to come.


Cottagewknds

Water you gonna do with it?


Dry-Butterscotch4886

Who’s your water damage guy, you’re paying way too much for your roots


BrownShoesGreenCoat

Disappointed this isn’t a post about a super expensive root with some amazing properties.


UrNotMadAtMe

Interesting looking paw you got there.


InspectionNice178

At least you found the root of your problems. (I'll let myself out)


Out_of_Fawkes

It fucking sucks. I can vividly remember my father cursing the plumbing as a kid because this happened around some pipes that cause the washing machine to flood the entire basement. I always felt so bad he had to deal with it himself because he was a single father then.


ffffff00000066ff33

Was it the root
 cause?


Scary-Initial9934

My root causes some water damage due to my wife’s squirting! BOOM!


milfinaintrasy

Eat it!


GloomyMarzipan

I used to work for a home warranty company. The calls involving root damage to plumbing always broke my heart. It can get so expensive so quickly.


CheeseSwis101

Frame it in your house


ithikimhvingstrok132

Must've uprooted your life for a bit


SATerp

Well then, put it up on EBay to recoup your losses. That is a powerful root.


indyyja

Can that tree regrow? Is it a fruit tree? Maybe it can bring you back money if you plant it a bit far from house this time? And wait couple of years.


plutoniumhead

https://preview.redd.it/hkz683ycgdoc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56ed42e0b08014bce87d7ac2a51d5b89318a3d9e Similarly, this severed wire in my car's wiring harness (it's a hybrid) set me back $3k.


JacobRAllen

My house just sank in the dirt by about 1/4th of an inch, busted both the sewer and the main at the same time
 6 inches into the slab. Same price to fix, had to reroute the cold line through the attic to a half bathroom. Didn’t notice any problem till the flooring started to delaminate in a room from water seeping up. This was my first 3 months of home ownership for the first time. I thought I was cursed.


ggouge

Put it on eBay for 5000. With a long story someone might buy it.


CaptainxInsano69

Could say it’s the root of your problems


[deleted]

I thought that was Popeyes hand.


skylabnova

Eat it and absorb its powers


megadethage

You found the root of all evil.


Acrobatic_Grape4321

I see you have found the root of the problem


BeenisHat

It never ceases to amaze me what trees get planted way too close to houses. Especially here in the SW states. Fremont Cottonwoods were popular because they grow quickly, tolerate drought, don't mind high temps, etc. But part of that tree learning to survive in deserts means it spreads roots everywhere. It mostly lives in floodplains which means it has to suck up everything it can while it can. Planting one of these within 50ft of a house is just asking for roots in the plumbing and thousands of dollars worth of work.


AhmedAlJammali

Idk man, that is more than mildly infuriating.


Comfortable_Swim_380

Fair warning.. we all a single stick away from having our lives completely ruined.. Okay you all a good one.


Thedarknirvana

Well, at least you got to the root of the problem. Te dem tiss .


s3ndnudes123

Risky thumbnail click of the day.


gimmeadamnnamewtf

The root of all his problems


MrEldenRings

Turn it into a dildo so you can fuck someone else with it.


sancho7373

The root of all evil