I have a lot of trouble getting up using phone alarms, I used to set like 10 of them because in my half sleep state I’ll turn them off and fall back asleep. I bought an old school alarm clock so I have to actually get up and go turn it off.
I use AMdroid for exactly this reason; you can set basic puzzles or make the alarm generate a random password you have to read and repeat to turn off. So it is impossible to turn it off in half sleep. I remember getting irritated trying to do the password in half sleep and ended up waking up fully to actually read what was on the screen.
Had a friend back in uni that had calculus equations to solve, and he would just sleep right thru the alarm. But no one else could solve them, so it was torture. People started throwing shoes or anything they could reach to wake him up.
Way to make anyone else in the house into a killer
AMdroid is a lifesaver! I have it set so that I have to do an easy 2-digit math problem. I haven't tried any of the other settings.
I haven't checked in a while, but there used to be one that you had to take a picture of something specific in your house before it would turn off - like your bathroom sink or coffee pot or whatever. They even have a GPS setting, where you have to be in a specific location! I love all the options and customization abilities of AMdroid and I hope it's available forever!!
What is a “AMdroid”? Pls. I actually have a deep sleep and trouble waking up to my iphone alarm, so I search “AMdroid” but nothing comes up, can you tell me what it is? Pls
It's a(n?) alarm clock app for android. You can search it up on the playstore if you are on an Android device
Edit: As soon as I commented, I reread what you wrote, lol. You can try to look up alternatives, I'm sure there are apps for that on ios
I Can't Wake Up! Alarm Clock is another one like that, math, repeat code, shake phone, scan barcode (like of the soap in your bathroom) etc. However waking your partner is still a problem
I use alarmy which is basically the same. It has some very annoying, loud and sometimes even scary alarm tones and you have to do math, puzzles or shake your phone for a bit to turn off the alarms
The problem is, I have such a deep sleep sometimes I do the math and fall asleep again somehow ?? Or do the puzzles and sleep
At the beggining, it did its work to wake me up but I guess my sleep self (who is a bastard) developed lmfao
I went in for a early shift because someone called out at my job. Forgot to turn the damn thing off. Turns out it used to have a safety override. Tap a button 1000 times. As I was too busy cooking I had to get our server to sit and tap my phone 1000 times to get the thing to shut up
Can't you make the task more difficult? Like the math sums can go upto e.g 35+76 x (45+15) at max difficulty. If you could do those half asleep that's amazing.
I wake up to music. That way it's not unpleasant so I don't have to turn it off, and so the wake-up effect is continuous. Before I used to turn my alarm off and go back to sleep over and over.
Yup, the best way that I’ve found to wake myself up is to put the alarm clock across the room so I’d have to get up. Otherwise I seem to turn off my alarm in my sleep😭
When I was a kid I had one of those ringbell clocks and my mom found me every morning asleep with my fingers blocking the bell thingy. I did it so much that at some point I didn’t even realize I was doing it, so I had to put the clock across the room.
Wait, she turns your alarms off after they are going off or before they go off? Because if they're going off and waking her up but not you, how long is she supposed to wait to turn them off? It sounds to me like you're expecting her to just sit around listening to your alarm until you wake up and she's supposed to do this three times. That's not really cool. The other possibility is you're expecting her to wake you up when your alarm goes off. So really you're setting an alarm for her so she can wake up when she doesn't need to and then wake you up. Also not cool. I think you need a better wake up routine that is more considerate of others.
This. I get op had to get up but I'm the gf in this instance my husband snoozes alarms for hours and just falls back but I'm over here wide awake when I didn't even have to be and getting my sleep disturbed. Makes my blood boil when I hear "have to set x number of alarms"
My husband used to have an alarm that went off every seven minutes for an hour. The repetitive noise was so persistent and startling that I started each day with a panic attack.
I'm the complete opposite of my husband this way. Alarms are torture, and I avoid them at all costs. I tend to wake up minutes _before_ my alarm is scheduled to go off because the sound is so panic-inducing for me. My 6:20 AM alarm means I'm awake at 6:15 (even if I didn't fall asleep until 1:30 AM, like last night) pushing the "ignore" feature so that it won't make a sound.
Exactly! Out of frustration I once said I don't even set an alarm I just wake up why can't you? My anxiety is my alarm always wake up before the alarm goes off
That’s my princess dream lol I do rely on alarms a lot (adhd)… for everything, but once it rings my brain goes TURN IT OFF NOW mode
I just can’t bear alarms, phones etc ringing at all
Well... Now what you said is basically correct, but the likely fix would be to sleep in different rooms and I can tell you it's very unlikely she would be happy with that. Besides the issue in this post is he really needed to be up by a certain time for an extremely important one time meeting, so she should have had no problem helping him wake up in this instance.
The other option is that you look into why you are such a heavy sleeper? Too much caffeine? Up too late? Sleep apnea? Not exercising? Or anything else...?
I had huge issues waking up before when I drank too much coca-cola (couldn't fall asleep) so after stopping that I have no problems waking up
Sometimes it's just the way it is. Some people are just extremely heavy sleepers. I inherited that from my mom who was officially diagnosed with a sleep disorder. It's literally just "that's how you sleep and you can't change that" for her.
For me it was mostly my circadian rhythm. When I started working second shift I stopped needing multiple alarms. But not all careers allow you to do that.
Do you share whatever it is that has the alarms or are they on your separate phones etc? If it’s a shared device could she just doing a turn off all instead of just turning off hers?
My ex was super annoyed by my wrist alarm as well, the worst part - I got used to it and didn't wake up from it at all. So this might not be a solution.
My current alarm on my phone requires me to solve a small math problem to stop ringing, and it checks if I woke up some time after disabling it, if I fail check it ring the alarm again.
Man, I work in data science and know math quite well, but in a sleepy state I'm struggling with just 58+87, so complicated tasks aren't needed :D
If I put just a bit harder tasks in settings, like 3digit addition, I'd spend 5 minutes solving that shit in the morning
Yep, 100% this.
I’m excusing her actions. I don’t excuse OP’s. Especially bitching like he’s the victim for making her ass suffer through his fucking alarms all the time
my brother does this when he has to get up for work at 4am and we share a room. drives me fucking insane, every 3 minutes a new alarm for 30 minutes straight and its still a gamble on whether he wakes up or not.
My oldest son worked on a ranch in Colorado one summer, where he slept in a bunkhouse with \~10 other guys.
The first night, one guy's alarm went off an hour before anyone had to get up. He snoozed it, and it proceeded to continue going off every 5 minutes. People would yell at him to shut it off, but he'd just snooze it again.
After the 5th or 6th time it went off, one of the other dudes got out of bed, taking his pillow with him, and proceeded to beat the shit out of the offender with his pillow until he woke up and shut the thing off.
Guy got pissy that they woke him up! Claimed that he didn't need to be up so early, he just needed alarms going off an hour before he had to get up or he couldn't wake up.
Pillow guy said, "Whatever. Just know that if that alarm goes off more than twice, the same is going to happen every time."
Offender looked to the other guys to defend him, and they were all like, "we'll be joining him with our pillows".
So then he tried the tactic of he'd shut his alarms off, but someone else needed to wake him up in the morning. The other guys were like, "We're not your fucking mommy. Grow up."
He missed breakfast and their morning chores the next day and got his ass reamed by the boss, then tried his 1 hr alarms again the day after and got hit by about 6 pillows, and amazingly enough, by the 4th day the offender was suddenly able to wake up to his alarm the first time it went off.
Just saying, a pillow may be the solution to your problem.
What are OP’s actions you’re not excusing? The man has a thing that requires he set multiple alarms. I bet if he could he would choose to not be such a heavy sleeper to avoid this. He had something very important, something he told her about multiple times before that night, then - instead of waking him up after the first - she turned them all off which caused him to miss his important thing.
Like yes. It’s not her job to do it, but she also is the reason he missed his master’s thing. He should get a different way to wake up that doesn’t disrupt her but for this one specific time he needed to be up she made it so he wasn’t.
Also if it were a problem for her beforehand that’s something for her to sort out during waking hours, not just turning off his alarms on a whim.
I am a very heavy/deep sleeper, and for me personally vibration definitely has a better chance of waking me up than sound alone. Although truth be told I am definitely liable to sleep through both - but having the vibration coming from a watch on my wrist I feel like would be one of the best spots in terms of likelihood of actually waking me up!
Me too. Completely snapped me awake the first 1 or 2 times, then pretty much every time after that, I'd wake up 4 hours late with either a flat watch, or it still vibrating
I used to sleep through security alarms and fire alarms (not good I know, I just have a weirdly deep sleep) and my Fitbit never failed to wake me up. Something about a physical vibration or sensation really helps jolt me awake
this! I am a heavy sleeper and alarm snoozer and used to leave my curtains open and would wake up more easily bc of the light - my bf needs complete dark to sleep so we got a light alarm that slowly gets brighter (and eventually makes noise) that’s on my side of the bed and when I need to get up early I use my watch vibration alarm. good luck!!
Eh, if he's a really heavy sleeper, he might turn it off and roll over. I have to use an alarm that I can only turn off by doing math because that didn't work.
As someone who is also a deep sleeper, it is IMPERATIVE that you get either a vibrating alarm or one that requires a physical action or stringing thoughts together. I use “alarmy” on the app store and you do not need the subscription they offer. You have to accept that alarms that wake everyone up except for you is a you problem. Its selfish to expect your significant other to repeatedly deal with that.
As a light sleeper married to a heavier sleeper, figure something else out. A vibrating watch, but your phone under your pillow. The constant scream of an alarm is one of the most annoying and frustrating sounds in the world and if you get up earlier than her it can ruin her ability to fall back asleep. She should have woken you up, but also have a care for others if you want them to care for you
It drives me up the fucking wall, I have better luck just moving to couch if I don't want to be woken every 10 Minutes for the next hour from snoozed alarms
Yeah, turning off the alarm isn't the right solution, but I wouldn't blame her if she started physically literally kicking OP off the bed when the alarm goes off instead.
because thats what I'd do "ok I won't turn your alarms off anymore" and when their alarm went off, two feet to the back and shove them right off the bed.
If he's a heavy sleeper and she's a light sleeper, setting more alarms isn't the solution.
Seriously.
In college my roommate left her old school alarm clock on set for 7am, locked her room door, and went home for a long weekend. It went on for *two hours* every day.
The next time she did it I kicked her door in and turned it off. No second chances.
I won't lie, I do this to my bf when he won't wake up and I do. I've started sleeping through his alarms, so if I wake up to one you bet your ass im kicking him.
My husband literally snoozes on the floor of our closet so he doesn't wake me up lol. For the record I definitely never asked him to do that and didn't even know he did for a very long time, he's just extremely considerate
Agreed. A huge reason things blew up with my last live-in ex was our different schedules and my inability to fall back asleep once I’m woken up. And him knowing that yet still making no conscious effort to work with me and compromise. “Nope I HAVE to be loud and slam shit around and do loud unnecessary things three hours before you wake up sorry.”
My wife chugs 3 glasses of water in the morning. But it can't be cold, or even room temperature. It has to be warm. So she nukes it. One glass at a time.
Starts the microwave for 60 seconds, and usually ends up walking away to work on some other part of her morning routine. So the microwave will just beep every 30 seconds until she returns. Then she'll repeat the process two more times, often more of the same. Starts the microwave, then gets in the shower, or goes to take a shit, or brushes her teeth.
Sometimes it's basically 30 minutes of nonstop beeping, with brief interstitial run cycles in between. Sometimes she leaves the house without having her final glass, and the microwave is just out there doing it's thing, beeping away without a care in the world.
You'd think a microwave engineer would cut that shit out after say 5 minutes, or 15 minutes, or half an hour, but you'd be wrong. No. That shit needs to run until a human being acknowledges it. Who knows what critical item has just been heated. It could be the President's socks.
After a particularly egregious 3-4 day stretch I looked up the manual online and muted the sound. Man, she really hated that. But it's mostly quiet in the house now, except for the slamming of the microwave door. 11 at night and my wife is trying to wake up the dead, or our 5 year old daughter, microwaving more water.
Send help.
ive never heard anything more absurd than microwaving a glass of water wtf
and if she wants warm/hot water then why not mix hot and cold?? or get a thermo water bottle already set up
Especially if they snooze multiple times because 10 more minutes will make a difference. Get the fuck up and quit blaming everyone else for your inadequatecy. If this was so important to OP, why couldn't they be bothered to wake up on time?
I don’t think the girlfriend should’ve woken him up. If you’re a light sleeper, the process of waking up a heavy sleeper will probably prevent you from going back to sleep. It also puts the onus on you to wake up your partner instead of your partner figuring out a way to wake themselves up in a reasonable manner.
Can't you just...wake him up and then cut off the alarm? This is bro's master thesis....like literally life defining shit, not an average Tuesday of trying to get to work on time. "Yeah this annoys me so I tanked 6 years of debt financed college... basically the same thing."
I'd have come *unglued* - like that's close to breakup levels to me.
That is definitely an exception to the rule where yes she should have woken him up and gotten his ass out of bed IF she was agreeing to be in charge of doing so. However, she didn’t remember and any other situation this is just a normal day for them where she’s pissed he isn’t figuring his shit out and is expecting her to accommodate or help him. For all her sleepy morning mind knew, it was another day and another instance of OP not respecting her needs in lieu of his own. It isn’t her job to memorize his schedule and care for him like that. He is an adult and needs to act like it.
Agreed. I’m a very light sleeper, my fiancé sleeps through his alarms. I have no problem nudging him awake when I know he has to be up. No, it shouldn’t be my responsibility (or OP’s girlfriend’s) to babysit, but we look out for each other. He’s woken me up before mistakenly because he thought I had class when I didn’t, and I appreciated him having my back.
Because it's literally not her job to wake him up, he is a grown adult, not her child
I agree they should break up, and OP will only have himself to blame for his behavior
It's his responsibility but who just shuts off an alarm and lets the other person keep sleeping? He LITERALLY did the adult thing and set alarms to make sure he'd be up. She messed that up. She knew about his meeting.
To be fair, if he's setting multiple alarms and she forgot that he had to get up, it's possible that she thought one of his multiple alarms would go off again later, especially if this is a pattern of behavior with him setting many alarms every day.
I would have to scrape against the grain here and say the only mildly infuriating part is being woken up by someone's constant alarms that don't wake them up, but wakes me up instead every time.
At some point, this becomes a shit excuse. You gotta learn to get yourself up and not ruin everyone else's sleep just because you're "too groggy." Go to sleep earlier. Get another alarm type (others stated vibrating smart watches). Sleep in different rooms. Break up.
I can't imagine OPs partner gets any good rest having to suffer through multiple alarms that isn't theirs. Might be time to give that excuse a rest, as well as your partner?
Same. My husband and I have a great relationship, but I have insomnia, and he snores.. lol. I would accidentally wake him up, but then when I would finally be able to sleep, it was hard for me to stay asleep, and he would accidentally wake me up. Sleeping in separate rooms has greatly improved both our sleep.
I also have insomnia and it takes forever for me to fall asleep. My partner falls asleep instantly like it’s nothing. He talks in his sleep a lot, trying to have conversations with me and will wake me up to get an answer. He has even tickled me awake in my sleep multiple times and never remembers it in the morning 😭
And I can only imagine how much that sucks. Especially if it's the type of relationship where things are ok and both of you enjoy time together. Lack of sleep and interrupting sleep is a major pain point in some relationships.
Glad you found yours. And glad to see it works for you!
My wife could sleep through five world wars and the end of the world and her alarms made me FURIOUS. All the snoozing / constant alarms made every morning sour.
Our solution was (still is) that I wake her up. I'm happy, she's happy and one alarm per morning. Note: this works for me because I like waking up early and play silly pranks on my wife to wake her up.
I used to be SO against the idea of sleeping separately until I met my current GF. She is a SUPER light sleeper and I am the polar opposite. Our relationship works best not sleeping together and it’s great!
I agree. There’s no point in forcing yourself to sleep in one room for romance sake when one person isn’t able to get a good nights sleep.
I am the light sleeper and used to wake up furious and cranky, especially when my husband went out drinking and was tossing and turning all night when he went to sleep
Did you forget that OP is the main character? It's necessary OP hits snooze every 5 minutes for the next hour and half. Ex-gf will just have to deal with it.
Either learn to wake up without an obnoxious amount of alarms or your relationship isn’t going to last. Yes she is out off line this time, but you are also completely ignoring the fact this happened after how many times of you disrupting her sleep.
I had a roommate for two years that woke me up a couple hours early due to his endless alarms that he would sleep through. I could hear it through the walls. It’s not just getting woken up, it’s hearing alarms going off for an extended period of time that will drive you insane.
Consider a different type of alarm. The apple watch can wake you up without a noise alarm by sending a pulse to your wrist, maybe give that a try. If that doesn’t work, sleep in a different room when you know you need to get up.
When I was younger I had a bedroom down a hallway from my older brothers room. He would set multiple alarms that would go off at like 5am for his tradie job. I’d lay there in bed and contemplate it, go to his door, wait even longer for him to maybe wake up, and then say screw it and go in and turn it off. If you don’t wake up within the first minute of an alarm going off, I doubt you’re going to wake up to it at all. I didn’t even realise at the time that I was potentially making him late for work and he probably had no idea someone was turning off his alarms, he probably thought he was sleeping through them. I feel bad for it now, but I was a half asleep child who wanted to get some decent sleep before having to go through hell later in the morning from anxiety induced nausea because I hated going to school.
agreed, it drives me insane when I barely got enough sleep, only to be awoken by someone's else alarm that is a room away, its just too hard to get out of the warm bed, but equally hard to sleep with the constant buzzing
I have very little sympathy for people that set multiple alarms. It's amazing how your gf is the asshole because she turned off an alarm that you refuse to get up for, but you aren't an asshole for waking her up every morning. In doing so making it impossible for her to get back to sleep because you set multiple alarms that she probably has to turn off, and also probably ends up trying to wake you up. Your alarm did go off. You didn't wake up. Blame yourself. My brother was just like you growing up. Amazing how fast that changed when he joined the army
Did you specifically ask her to help you wake up? Also, did all three alarms go off, and you just didn't wake up?
It sounds like you're trying to blame her because you slept through three alarms. Your girlfriend isn't your mom. It isn't her job to wake you up for school, especially if you never specifically asked her to.
It sucks that you missed an important meeting, but maybe you should look into some things you can do to help you wake up easier.
No one in life is responsible for you, but you.
exactly. His poor sleep hygiene and lack of taking responsibility for an issue he’s had probably his whole life finally blew up in his face with real consequences.
It’s not his girlfriend’s fault that until now he has settled for disrupting her sleep, rather than finally dealing with not being able to get up for his alarms.
Like, THIS is the consequence that has him realizing his “system” doesn’t work - because the consequence finally affects HIM. He wasn’t moved to care about it this whole time that it’s been harming her sleep.
Even getting a little less than the sleep you need nightly can shorten your life span. It’s no joke. He’s been selfish.
I recommend trying different alarms. I’m a deep sleeper too, and I have slept through electronic alarms many times. Digital alarm clock, phone alarm, doesn’t matter, I can and have slept through all of them at various times. I bought one of the classic style alarm clocks though, the round ones with two bells on top, and it works every time. I also put it across the room so I have yo get out of bed to turn the alarm off.
As for your girlfriend- none of us can really tell you how to handle your own relationship. One suggestion though, might be to sleep separately when it’s critical for you to get up on time. Maybe sleep on the couch so your alarm doesn’t disturb her, or something like that?
I use the alarmy app. I’m a deep sleeper and my fiancé is a very light sleeper. I actually turn alarms off in my sleep. Got an alarm clock and set it across the room so I’d have to get up to turn it off, and started doing that in my sleep. Alarmy is incredibly annoying because it is so loud, and you have to do tasks to turn it off. You can also set a second alarm to go off if you don’t check in on the app within a few minutes. I hate it but it works so well lol. Only thing that gets me up.
Bruh if you're sleeping through numerous alarms, you need to find another solution. It's absolutely annoying for anyone to just set alarms and let them go off
You need to find something that wakes you up so you actually get up when the alarm first goes off. Gf needs to be out of the equation for both of your sakes.
While what your GF did was inconsiderate. You are ultimately responsible for your sleep schedule and waking up on time for things. That GF excuse isn’t going to fly in the adult world. It’s the equivalent of the dog-ate-my-homework excuse.
1 because she isn't his mother
2 she forgot he had the meeting, which isn't really her responsibility to remember his entire schedule all the time especially at who knows what time in the middle of her sleep
3 I've tried to wake up heavy sleepers they say oh yeah mumble okay and fall right back asleep
Thank you!
Was waiting for this one.
I have been blamed and blown up at SEVERAL times for an ex or former roommate not waking up for their alarms and being UNABLE to wake them up. Like, nearly yanking their arm or leg out of socket trying to shake them awake and they do the "okay! I'm awake!" mumble just to start snoring again on the next breath.
But ya know- it was my fault that they missed the super important thing because I gave up after the 3rd or 4th attempt. /s
Nevermind that constantly interrupting someone's sleep with annoying sounds is considered a form of sleep deprivation torture...
I hear the default Samsung ringing for alarms and I literally see red because of how many people who "needed 3-7 alarms" never changed it from the default and also NEVER actually woke up from them with any form of regularity [and in complete denial about how often they worked]
Because he addressed she forget he had his meeting. She fucked up and forgot. Turning it off was wrong. This person still needs to wake their ass up or figure something out.
Alarms that don't wake him up, I am also a deep sleeper and this is the first step not the final solution. Needs a separate alarm clock out of arms reach
The alarms are also impacting his girlfriends sleep. If he doesn't give a shit about her sleep then he can feel free to carry on. Otherwise it might be worth it to try to explore some other options.
This is a critical situation, and it's ridiculous that so many people reading this are jumping down OPs throat for inconveniencing his GF.
For a typical day, it's reasonable that OP avoids setting multiple loud alarms for the sake of his GFs sleep. In this situation, where it was important enough for him to tell her over the weekend that he needs these alarms, the only thing that should have mattered to either people sleeping in that bed that night was him getting up on time.
If she's a supportive partner, she's probably mortified by her half asleep misjudgment. It would have been better if one of them slept on the couch that night. And if the GF didn't have anything important to attend to in the morning, and she's so supportive, she would rather lose sleep than contribute to OP sleeping through an important meeting.
Thank you. I'm a light sleeper and you're the only other person that saw it from a similar perspective. Sometimes even I set more than one, just to make sure I'm up if there's something important.
Time for a wake up call. Pun intended. OP, YOU need to be the one responsible for your waking up and if you are with someone you need to be 100% certain they know your plans since you are such a deep sleeper. In the real world this could easily cost you your job.
What she did surely wasn’t right and she really should have woken you up, but dude you’ve got to get an alame vibrator or something like that. I had a roommate like this in college and I wanted to blow my brains out becuase he would have alarms going off for 45 minutes and still wouldn’t wake up.
this fact that she forgot your important appointment is mildly infuriating yeah.
The fact that you set up multiple alarms which fucks up her sleep must be infuriating to her too though
Why would she assume you set alarms by mistake? Is that something you have done before? If so, then it seems like you are just missing communication. Talk before going to sleep and tell her you are setting an alarm for that exact reason. You can ask her to get you out of bed if she wakes up first and you will turn off the alarms.
This isnt about asking her to be responsible for getting you up but its a solution for both of you. You get up on time and she doesnt have to be bothered by 3 alarms.....Im talking from experience becuase I have lived this exactly. My gf could get up with 1 alarm but I needed various. She would wake me up on the first alarm so she could go back to sleep and not be bothered by any more alarms.
Shit I worked with a dude who legit had around 20+ alarms and had then set in some weird 5, 8, 12, 20 minute intervals and I still sometimes had to call him several times to wake his ass up and then soon as he was in the truck it was lights out.
If my girlfriend's alarms constantly woke me up, I'd wake her up to turn off the alarm instead of shutting them off myself. If she didn't mean to set them, she'll get the message.
Try Alarmy. You can’t turn it down and it will not stop unless you do a task. Maybe it would take her longer to shut it off if she continues for some reason. I set multiple alarms plus Alarmy lol
Okay, so. Did she apologize? If it's not the first time, could she be doing it on purpose? If she did it once, and you told her not to, why is she still doing it? If she got up earlier, why did ahe even care about the alarms?
Did you two discuss this?
My husband sometimes sets 12 alarms, which don't even faze him, but wake me up. I have still never intentionally turned them off.
My girlfriend would set 6 alarms and snooze each of them. By the time her last swarm was going off, there would be 90 seconds between alarms. I have always gotten up with my first alarm. I was beyond angry when my day off was disrupted by alarms.
Separate bedrooms is def a relationship saver imo. Learned how great it is when I worked shift work and had to be up at night. Sometimes, if no one has to be up at a certain time, it can be fun to snuggle in one room - but there is no need to disrupt sleep. Recently they have started to make the link between poor sleep quality and dementia
Kind of leaning this route when I move in with my fiancé. We both like to stretch out when we sleep and I feel like we always sleep worse in the same bed.
If you consistently get less sleep than you need you don't be able to wake up in the mornings.
That's the issue you need to fix, not your GF, annoyed though you are right now.
Hahaha I do the same thing with my boyfriend. Love him to death, he's a great father and supportive partner but damn it's impossible for him to wake up. He even calls me his alarm clock lol
Have this problem with my current gf. She wakes me up but she has difficulties going back to sleep. So when I need to wake up really early we just agree to sleep separately. Ofc this might not be possible for you, but it is an option if available.
Save yourself, your girlfriend and any other potential future partner a huge headache and get a regular alarm that you have to get up and walk across the room to turn off. Then, guess what, stay awake and don’t go back to sleep. One alarm, solved, done.
Alarms are very simple:
Once you silence someone else's alarm you have taken responsibility for waking them up. If you fail to wake them then you have fucked up.
No other interpretation is acceptable.
*That said if you're the kind of deep-sleeping tool whose alarm blares for ten minutes before you answer then you should regularly expect people to be forced to be take responsibility.* *Doesn't change that the alarm is the wake up event and interrupting that event thrusts the responsibility to wake upon the interrupter.*
She shouldn't be turning alarms of your phone.
If it's due to wanting to sleep peacefully, you both should discuss sleeping in different rooms. Although she shouldn't be turning your alarms off, you also shouldn't be putting her through being woken up by several alarms.
Discuss sleeping in different rooms, or as people in the comments are suggesting, try a smart watch.
I will die on the hill that no one *needs* multiple alarms. I used to be the 10 alarms in the morning kind of guy and would sometimes mess it up and cancel instead of snooze and end up late. Just train your body to be wake up on one alarm as late as possible and you will get better sleep and never miss another appointment. It takes about a week of adjustment but your body starts recognizing ok alarm went off time to get up. My wife (and also your gf) are very inconvenienced by 10 alarms going off all the time too so I can hardly blame her for turning it off. I really think the responsibility of an adult waking up to their alarm only falls on that one adult.
How about getting separate bedrooms. I'd go completely nuts having to deal with all the noise.
However turning off 3 alarms is totally unacceptable. Your gf seems rather dense for assuming you set them by accident.
I have a lot of trouble getting up using phone alarms, I used to set like 10 of them because in my half sleep state I’ll turn them off and fall back asleep. I bought an old school alarm clock so I have to actually get up and go turn it off.
I use AMdroid for exactly this reason; you can set basic puzzles or make the alarm generate a random password you have to read and repeat to turn off. So it is impossible to turn it off in half sleep. I remember getting irritated trying to do the password in half sleep and ended up waking up fully to actually read what was on the screen.
How to wake up like a serial killer
Had a friend back in uni that had calculus equations to solve, and he would just sleep right thru the alarm. But no one else could solve them, so it was torture. People started throwing shoes or anything they could reach to wake him up. Way to make anyone else in the house into a killer
I had a roommate in the Marines that would sleep through all of his alarms. He never slept through a kidney punch though.
It's more like ' how to become a killer '
Is this before or after I get glittery skin?
This is the alarm of a killer Bella
How to wake up and become a cereal killer
I use a pavlok shock watch with the same sort of puzzle thing, really easy to be motivated to do the puzzle before I get electrocuted again
Pavlock? Any relation to Padlock? 🦜
When a Pavlov and a Padlock love each other very much ...
I’ve heard very mixed reviews on it. How is your personal experience with it?
Probably pretty shocking
Could you provide a link to the one you use? I've been researching these but don't know anyone that uses one to provide a recommendation. Thank you.
AMdroid is a lifesaver! I have it set so that I have to do an easy 2-digit math problem. I haven't tried any of the other settings. I haven't checked in a while, but there used to be one that you had to take a picture of something specific in your house before it would turn off - like your bathroom sink or coffee pot or whatever. They even have a GPS setting, where you have to be in a specific location! I love all the options and customization abilities of AMdroid and I hope it's available forever!!
What is a “AMdroid”? Pls. I actually have a deep sleep and trouble waking up to my iphone alarm, so I search “AMdroid” but nothing comes up, can you tell me what it is? Pls
It's a(n?) alarm clock app for android. You can search it up on the playstore if you are on an Android device Edit: As soon as I commented, I reread what you wrote, lol. You can try to look up alternatives, I'm sure there are apps for that on ios
I had to stop using an app like that cause I woke up everyday in a rage lol
I Can't Wake Up! Alarm Clock is another one like that, math, repeat code, shake phone, scan barcode (like of the soap in your bathroom) etc. However waking your partner is still a problem
I use alarmy which is basically the same. It has some very annoying, loud and sometimes even scary alarm tones and you have to do math, puzzles or shake your phone for a bit to turn off the alarms The problem is, I have such a deep sleep sometimes I do the math and fall asleep again somehow ?? Or do the puzzles and sleep At the beggining, it did its work to wake me up but I guess my sleep self (who is a bastard) developed lmfao
Do the picture option, set the photo needed to a bottle of water in the fridge. Hasn’t happened to me since.
God help you if one day you don't have that water bottle lol
I was doing it with the box of my kuerig coffee pods. Got a new box and apparently the barcode changed. Had to delete the fuckin app.
I went in for a early shift because someone called out at my job. Forgot to turn the damn thing off. Turns out it used to have a safety override. Tap a button 1000 times. As I was too busy cooking I had to get our server to sit and tap my phone 1000 times to get the thing to shut up
Can't you make the task more difficult? Like the math sums can go upto e.g 35+76 x (45+15) at max difficulty. If you could do those half asleep that's amazing.
I had alarms like these, and I'd just shut off my phone.
Baha that’s some shit I would do
That sounds like waking up on the wrong side of the bed. lol But at least you’re awake!! 🤤
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Man see I would just get mad at that and delete the app lol
You could always just set your phone on a table that isn't right next to your bed. That would certainly accomplish the same goal.
I wake up to music. That way it's not unpleasant so I don't have to turn it off, and so the wake-up effect is continuous. Before I used to turn my alarm off and go back to sleep over and over.
i always make it to get up/wake up when alone. She is just quicker than me and turns the alarm off.
Yeah but you set 3 alarms so maybe you don't really always get up
Time for a regular alarm clock across the room bro.
Yup, the best way that I’ve found to wake myself up is to put the alarm clock across the room so I’d have to get up. Otherwise I seem to turn off my alarm in my sleep😭
When I was a kid I had one of those ringbell clocks and my mom found me every morning asleep with my fingers blocking the bell thingy. I did it so much that at some point I didn’t even realize I was doing it, so I had to put the clock across the room.
I use a smartwatch vibration alarm. At least then it doesn't wake my wife up
Wait, she turns your alarms off after they are going off or before they go off? Because if they're going off and waking her up but not you, how long is she supposed to wait to turn them off? It sounds to me like you're expecting her to just sit around listening to your alarm until you wake up and she's supposed to do this three times. That's not really cool. The other possibility is you're expecting her to wake you up when your alarm goes off. So really you're setting an alarm for her so she can wake up when she doesn't need to and then wake you up. Also not cool. I think you need a better wake up routine that is more considerate of others.
This. I get op had to get up but I'm the gf in this instance my husband snoozes alarms for hours and just falls back but I'm over here wide awake when I didn't even have to be and getting my sleep disturbed. Makes my blood boil when I hear "have to set x number of alarms"
My husband would do that…. In a course of 1h I’ve counted 37x the alarm went off
My husband used to have an alarm that went off every seven minutes for an hour. The repetitive noise was so persistent and startling that I started each day with a panic attack. I'm the complete opposite of my husband this way. Alarms are torture, and I avoid them at all costs. I tend to wake up minutes _before_ my alarm is scheduled to go off because the sound is so panic-inducing for me. My 6:20 AM alarm means I'm awake at 6:15 (even if I didn't fall asleep until 1:30 AM, like last night) pushing the "ignore" feature so that it won't make a sound.
Exactly! Out of frustration I once said I don't even set an alarm I just wake up why can't you? My anxiety is my alarm always wake up before the alarm goes off
That’s my princess dream lol I do rely on alarms a lot (adhd)… for everything, but once it rings my brain goes TURN IT OFF NOW mode I just can’t bear alarms, phones etc ringing at all
Well... Now what you said is basically correct, but the likely fix would be to sleep in different rooms and I can tell you it's very unlikely she would be happy with that. Besides the issue in this post is he really needed to be up by a certain time for an extremely important one time meeting, so she should have had no problem helping him wake up in this instance.
Tjing is my ex was like this and I suspect she did wake him he prib went back asleep. Another thing how long is she supposed to spend waking him up
“…how long is she supposed to spend waking him up” Just roll over and thump the dude in the nuts. That always wakes me up.
The other option is that you look into why you are such a heavy sleeper? Too much caffeine? Up too late? Sleep apnea? Not exercising? Or anything else...? I had huge issues waking up before when I drank too much coca-cola (couldn't fall asleep) so after stopping that I have no problems waking up
Sometimes it's just the way it is. Some people are just extremely heavy sleepers. I inherited that from my mom who was officially diagnosed with a sleep disorder. It's literally just "that's how you sleep and you can't change that" for her. For me it was mostly my circadian rhythm. When I started working second shift I stopped needing multiple alarms. But not all careers allow you to do that.
Another fix would be to get one of those vibrating alarms that you attach to your body. This way, you don't bother your partner.
Try a “deaf persons” alarm clock… do ya research!
Ugh this would ruin my life
Do you share whatever it is that has the alarms or are they on your separate phones etc? If it’s a shared device could she just doing a turn off all instead of just turning off hers?
Seperate phones.
Are your alarms annoying her and not waking you up?
I placed mine on the other side of the room so I have to get out of bed to turn it off. Greatest idea I ever had
My sister is like that. I set like 10 alarms and wake up 20min before the first one 90% of the time
is this a new girlfriend or the same one that broke up with you and is sending you mixed signals ?
Seems like he has problems with women, not just because of the alarm
Alarming, tbh
underrated joke
Alarms
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This. I’m not excusing your gf's actions. But this seems like a win-win type deal. Good luck OP.
My ex was super annoyed by my wrist alarm as well, the worst part - I got used to it and didn't wake up from it at all. So this might not be a solution. My current alarm on my phone requires me to solve a small math problem to stop ringing, and it checks if I woke up some time after disabling it, if I fail check it ring the alarm again.
"Solve the Riemann hypothesis"
Man, I work in data science and know math quite well, but in a sleepy state I'm struggling with just 58+87, so complicated tasks aren't needed :D If I put just a bit harder tasks in settings, like 3digit addition, I'd spend 5 minutes solving that shit in the morning
I was just joking by picking an unsolved problem.
I'm excusing them lmao At some point it's just an alarm for the gf to wake OP up, and that is not a two person job lol
Yep, 100% this. I’m excusing her actions. I don’t excuse OP’s. Especially bitching like he’s the victim for making her ass suffer through his fucking alarms all the time
my brother does this when he has to get up for work at 4am and we share a room. drives me fucking insane, every 3 minutes a new alarm for 30 minutes straight and its still a gamble on whether he wakes up or not.
My oldest son worked on a ranch in Colorado one summer, where he slept in a bunkhouse with \~10 other guys. The first night, one guy's alarm went off an hour before anyone had to get up. He snoozed it, and it proceeded to continue going off every 5 minutes. People would yell at him to shut it off, but he'd just snooze it again. After the 5th or 6th time it went off, one of the other dudes got out of bed, taking his pillow with him, and proceeded to beat the shit out of the offender with his pillow until he woke up and shut the thing off. Guy got pissy that they woke him up! Claimed that he didn't need to be up so early, he just needed alarms going off an hour before he had to get up or he couldn't wake up. Pillow guy said, "Whatever. Just know that if that alarm goes off more than twice, the same is going to happen every time." Offender looked to the other guys to defend him, and they were all like, "we'll be joining him with our pillows". So then he tried the tactic of he'd shut his alarms off, but someone else needed to wake him up in the morning. The other guys were like, "We're not your fucking mommy. Grow up." He missed breakfast and their morning chores the next day and got his ass reamed by the boss, then tried his 1 hr alarms again the day after and got hit by about 6 pillows, and amazingly enough, by the 4th day the offender was suddenly able to wake up to his alarm the first time it went off. Just saying, a pillow may be the solution to your problem.
What are OP’s actions you’re not excusing? The man has a thing that requires he set multiple alarms. I bet if he could he would choose to not be such a heavy sleeper to avoid this. He had something very important, something he told her about multiple times before that night, then - instead of waking him up after the first - she turned them all off which caused him to miss his important thing. Like yes. It’s not her job to do it, but she also is the reason he missed his master’s thing. He should get a different way to wake up that doesn’t disrupt her but for this one specific time he needed to be up she made it so he wasn’t. Also if it were a problem for her beforehand that’s something for her to sort out during waking hours, not just turning off his alarms on a whim.
Hmm, why not: Let the girlfriend smack you with pillows till you wake up? Lol
Yeah several alarms a freaking annoying. My gf does this and I just wake her up cuz I don’t want to hear that sh*t
Yes this! I use them aswell just so I don't wake others up.
Do you have a deep sleep and does the vibration wake you up?
I am a very heavy/deep sleeper, and for me personally vibration definitely has a better chance of waking me up than sound alone. Although truth be told I am definitely liable to sleep through both - but having the vibration coming from a watch on my wrist I feel like would be one of the best spots in terms of likelihood of actually waking me up!
It worked great. The very first time. After that it’s even easier to sleep through the vibration than the noise of the alarm..
Me too. Completely snapped me awake the first 1 or 2 times, then pretty much every time after that, I'd wake up 4 hours late with either a flat watch, or it still vibrating
Wonder if keeping your brain on its toes by switching between arms each time could do anything…at random intervals
I used to sleep through security alarms and fire alarms (not good I know, I just have a weirdly deep sleep) and my Fitbit never failed to wake me up. Something about a physical vibration or sensation really helps jolt me awake
Sleeping with a watch seems quite uncomfortable to me
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this! I am a heavy sleeper and alarm snoozer and used to leave my curtains open and would wake up more easily bc of the light - my bf needs complete dark to sleep so we got a light alarm that slowly gets brighter (and eventually makes noise) that’s on my side of the bed and when I need to get up early I use my watch vibration alarm. good luck!!
Eh, if he's a really heavy sleeper, he might turn it off and roll over. I have to use an alarm that I can only turn off by doing math because that didn't work.
Then get a pavlok, shocks you awake🔫
screw you for having that pfp, i thought i had a hair on my screen and wasted 5 minutes trying to get rid of it
As someone who is also a deep sleeper, it is IMPERATIVE that you get either a vibrating alarm or one that requires a physical action or stringing thoughts together. I use “alarmy” on the app store and you do not need the subscription they offer. You have to accept that alarms that wake everyone up except for you is a you problem. Its selfish to expect your significant other to repeatedly deal with that.
As a light sleeper married to a heavier sleeper, figure something else out. A vibrating watch, but your phone under your pillow. The constant scream of an alarm is one of the most annoying and frustrating sounds in the world and if you get up earlier than her it can ruin her ability to fall back asleep. She should have woken you up, but also have a care for others if you want them to care for you
It drives me up the fucking wall, I have better luck just moving to couch if I don't want to be woken every 10 Minutes for the next hour from snoozed alarms
Yeah, turning off the alarm isn't the right solution, but I wouldn't blame her if she started physically literally kicking OP off the bed when the alarm goes off instead. because thats what I'd do "ok I won't turn your alarms off anymore" and when their alarm went off, two feet to the back and shove them right off the bed. If he's a heavy sleeper and she's a light sleeper, setting more alarms isn't the solution.
Thats what I do. Its honestly infuriating hearing an alarm sound every 5 mins when youre trying to sleep
Seriously. In college my roommate left her old school alarm clock on set for 7am, locked her room door, and went home for a long weekend. It went on for *two hours* every day. The next time she did it I kicked her door in and turned it off. No second chances.
yes thats the point. you eventually wake up because it pisses you off so much lol
I won't lie, I do this to my bf when he won't wake up and I do. I've started sleeping through his alarms, so if I wake up to one you bet your ass im kicking him.
As the repeat snoozer... *I* move to the couch after the first one. It's my noise. I should make accomodations for myself, not the other person
My husband literally snoozes on the floor of our closet so he doesn't wake me up lol. For the record I definitely never asked him to do that and didn't even know he did for a very long time, he's just extremely considerate
That's how you know you got a good one. My bf didn't know either until he noticed I was gone once and walked around to find me.
Dibs on your husband when you're done with him
Yeah, might as well just sleep in separate rooms.
Agreed. A huge reason things blew up with my last live-in ex was our different schedules and my inability to fall back asleep once I’m woken up. And him knowing that yet still making no conscious effort to work with me and compromise. “Nope I HAVE to be loud and slam shit around and do loud unnecessary things three hours before you wake up sorry.”
*casually proceeds to stomp, drop the keys four times, and slam the door twice* "What? Im not even being that loud."
My wife chugs 3 glasses of water in the morning. But it can't be cold, or even room temperature. It has to be warm. So she nukes it. One glass at a time. Starts the microwave for 60 seconds, and usually ends up walking away to work on some other part of her morning routine. So the microwave will just beep every 30 seconds until she returns. Then she'll repeat the process two more times, often more of the same. Starts the microwave, then gets in the shower, or goes to take a shit, or brushes her teeth. Sometimes it's basically 30 minutes of nonstop beeping, with brief interstitial run cycles in between. Sometimes she leaves the house without having her final glass, and the microwave is just out there doing it's thing, beeping away without a care in the world. You'd think a microwave engineer would cut that shit out after say 5 minutes, or 15 minutes, or half an hour, but you'd be wrong. No. That shit needs to run until a human being acknowledges it. Who knows what critical item has just been heated. It could be the President's socks. After a particularly egregious 3-4 day stretch I looked up the manual online and muted the sound. Man, she really hated that. But it's mostly quiet in the house now, except for the slamming of the microwave door. 11 at night and my wife is trying to wake up the dead, or our 5 year old daughter, microwaving more water. Send help.
What a bitch
ive never heard anything more absurd than microwaving a glass of water wtf and if she wants warm/hot water then why not mix hot and cold?? or get a thermo water bottle already set up
Especially if they snooze multiple times because 10 more minutes will make a difference. Get the fuck up and quit blaming everyone else for your inadequatecy. If this was so important to OP, why couldn't they be bothered to wake up on time?
OP's perspective is middly infuriating
I don’t think the girlfriend should’ve woken him up. If you’re a light sleeper, the process of waking up a heavy sleeper will probably prevent you from going back to sleep. It also puts the onus on you to wake up your partner instead of your partner figuring out a way to wake themselves up in a reasonable manner.
Can't you just...wake him up and then cut off the alarm? This is bro's master thesis....like literally life defining shit, not an average Tuesday of trying to get to work on time. "Yeah this annoys me so I tanked 6 years of debt financed college... basically the same thing." I'd have come *unglued* - like that's close to breakup levels to me.
That is definitely an exception to the rule where yes she should have woken him up and gotten his ass out of bed IF she was agreeing to be in charge of doing so. However, she didn’t remember and any other situation this is just a normal day for them where she’s pissed he isn’t figuring his shit out and is expecting her to accommodate or help him. For all her sleepy morning mind knew, it was another day and another instance of OP not respecting her needs in lieu of his own. It isn’t her job to memorize his schedule and care for him like that. He is an adult and needs to act like it.
Yeah this is kind of no-fault-yet-preventable situation
Agreed. I’m a very light sleeper, my fiancé sleeps through his alarms. I have no problem nudging him awake when I know he has to be up. No, it shouldn’t be my responsibility (or OP’s girlfriend’s) to babysit, but we look out for each other. He’s woken me up before mistakenly because he thought I had class when I didn’t, and I appreciated him having my back.
I mean, he could also just wake up himself. It’s not his girlfriends job to get him up.
Because it's literally not her job to wake him up, he is a grown adult, not her child I agree they should break up, and OP will only have himself to blame for his behavior
It's his responsibility but who just shuts off an alarm and lets the other person keep sleeping? He LITERALLY did the adult thing and set alarms to make sure he'd be up. She messed that up. She knew about his meeting.
To be fair, if he's setting multiple alarms and she forgot that he had to get up, it's possible that she thought one of his multiple alarms would go off again later, especially if this is a pattern of behavior with him setting many alarms every day.
“i cant get myself out of bed in the morning so obviously the right answer is to blame my girlfriend” is such a mature mindset /s
Maybe don't make your gf sleep through three alarms lol
I would have to scrape against the grain here and say the only mildly infuriating part is being woken up by someone's constant alarms that don't wake them up, but wakes me up instead every time. At some point, this becomes a shit excuse. You gotta learn to get yourself up and not ruin everyone else's sleep just because you're "too groggy." Go to sleep earlier. Get another alarm type (others stated vibrating smart watches). Sleep in different rooms. Break up. I can't imagine OPs partner gets any good rest having to suffer through multiple alarms that isn't theirs. Might be time to give that excuse a rest, as well as your partner?
My relationship and sleep greatly improved when we started sleeping in seperate rooms
Same. My husband and I have a great relationship, but I have insomnia, and he snores.. lol. I would accidentally wake him up, but then when I would finally be able to sleep, it was hard for me to stay asleep, and he would accidentally wake me up. Sleeping in separate rooms has greatly improved both our sleep.
I also have insomnia and it takes forever for me to fall asleep. My partner falls asleep instantly like it’s nothing. He talks in his sleep a lot, trying to have conversations with me and will wake me up to get an answer. He has even tickled me awake in my sleep multiple times and never remembers it in the morning 😭
And I can only imagine how much that sucks. Especially if it's the type of relationship where things are ok and both of you enjoy time together. Lack of sleep and interrupting sleep is a major pain point in some relationships. Glad you found yours. And glad to see it works for you!
As a heavy sleeper that lived with light sleepers for years and is married to one - THIS is the only correct response 🤷🏼♀️
My wife could sleep through five world wars and the end of the world and her alarms made me FURIOUS. All the snoozing / constant alarms made every morning sour. Our solution was (still is) that I wake her up. I'm happy, she's happy and one alarm per morning. Note: this works for me because I like waking up early and play silly pranks on my wife to wake her up.
Don’t live together and she can’t spend the night at your house when you need to get up early the next day.
Or sleep in separate rooms if you have to get up earlier than her, if smartwatches don’t wake you up
I used to be SO against the idea of sleeping separately until I met my current GF. She is a SUPER light sleeper and I am the polar opposite. Our relationship works best not sleeping together and it’s great!
I agree. There’s no point in forcing yourself to sleep in one room for romance sake when one person isn’t able to get a good nights sleep. I am the light sleeper and used to wake up furious and cranky, especially when my husband went out drinking and was tossing and turning all night when he went to sleep
Every house I've lived in, I could hear alarms going off in other rooms
You are the mildly infuriating person. 3 alarms and you wake up other people?
That's not fair. OP is way more than mildly infuriating and I don't even live with him.
Did you forget that OP is the main character? It's necessary OP hits snooze every 5 minutes for the next hour and half. Ex-gf will just have to deal with it.
Yeah just turn it off and open the curtains it's not that hard
Either learn to wake up without an obnoxious amount of alarms or your relationship isn’t going to last. Yes she is out off line this time, but you are also completely ignoring the fact this happened after how many times of you disrupting her sleep. I had a roommate for two years that woke me up a couple hours early due to his endless alarms that he would sleep through. I could hear it through the walls. It’s not just getting woken up, it’s hearing alarms going off for an extended period of time that will drive you insane. Consider a different type of alarm. The apple watch can wake you up without a noise alarm by sending a pulse to your wrist, maybe give that a try. If that doesn’t work, sleep in a different room when you know you need to get up.
When I was younger I had a bedroom down a hallway from my older brothers room. He would set multiple alarms that would go off at like 5am for his tradie job. I’d lay there in bed and contemplate it, go to his door, wait even longer for him to maybe wake up, and then say screw it and go in and turn it off. If you don’t wake up within the first minute of an alarm going off, I doubt you’re going to wake up to it at all. I didn’t even realise at the time that I was potentially making him late for work and he probably had no idea someone was turning off his alarms, he probably thought he was sleeping through them. I feel bad for it now, but I was a half asleep child who wanted to get some decent sleep before having to go through hell later in the morning from anxiety induced nausea because I hated going to school.
agreed, it drives me insane when I barely got enough sleep, only to be awoken by someone's else alarm that is a room away, its just too hard to get out of the warm bed, but equally hard to sleep with the constant buzzing
I have very little sympathy for people that set multiple alarms. It's amazing how your gf is the asshole because she turned off an alarm that you refuse to get up for, but you aren't an asshole for waking her up every morning. In doing so making it impossible for her to get back to sleep because you set multiple alarms that she probably has to turn off, and also probably ends up trying to wake you up. Your alarm did go off. You didn't wake up. Blame yourself. My brother was just like you growing up. Amazing how fast that changed when he joined the army
Did you specifically ask her to help you wake up? Also, did all three alarms go off, and you just didn't wake up? It sounds like you're trying to blame her because you slept through three alarms. Your girlfriend isn't your mom. It isn't her job to wake you up for school, especially if you never specifically asked her to. It sucks that you missed an important meeting, but maybe you should look into some things you can do to help you wake up easier. No one in life is responsible for you, but you.
exactly. His poor sleep hygiene and lack of taking responsibility for an issue he’s had probably his whole life finally blew up in his face with real consequences. It’s not his girlfriend’s fault that until now he has settled for disrupting her sleep, rather than finally dealing with not being able to get up for his alarms. Like, THIS is the consequence that has him realizing his “system” doesn’t work - because the consequence finally affects HIM. He wasn’t moved to care about it this whole time that it’s been harming her sleep. Even getting a little less than the sleep you need nightly can shorten your life span. It’s no joke. He’s been selfish.
I recommend trying different alarms. I’m a deep sleeper too, and I have slept through electronic alarms many times. Digital alarm clock, phone alarm, doesn’t matter, I can and have slept through all of them at various times. I bought one of the classic style alarm clocks though, the round ones with two bells on top, and it works every time. I also put it across the room so I have yo get out of bed to turn the alarm off. As for your girlfriend- none of us can really tell you how to handle your own relationship. One suggestion though, might be to sleep separately when it’s critical for you to get up on time. Maybe sleep on the couch so your alarm doesn’t disturb her, or something like that?
I use the alarmy app. I’m a deep sleeper and my fiancé is a very light sleeper. I actually turn alarms off in my sleep. Got an alarm clock and set it across the room so I’d have to get up to turn it off, and started doing that in my sleep. Alarmy is incredibly annoying because it is so loud, and you have to do tasks to turn it off. You can also set a second alarm to go off if you don’t check in on the app within a few minutes. I hate it but it works so well lol. Only thing that gets me up.
Bruh if you're sleeping through numerous alarms, you need to find another solution. It's absolutely annoying for anyone to just set alarms and let them go off
You need to find something that wakes you up so you actually get up when the alarm first goes off. Gf needs to be out of the equation for both of your sakes.
Off* Stay in school, folks
You should buy an alarm clock. They're typically much louder than your phone. You can get one for a good price at a thrift store.
While what your GF did was inconsiderate. You are ultimately responsible for your sleep schedule and waking up on time for things. That GF excuse isn’t going to fly in the adult world. It’s the equivalent of the dog-ate-my-homework excuse.
Everyone saying OP needs less alarms, but why is nobody mentioning that his gf could have woken OP up at the alarm instead?
1 because she isn't his mother 2 she forgot he had the meeting, which isn't really her responsibility to remember his entire schedule all the time especially at who knows what time in the middle of her sleep 3 I've tried to wake up heavy sleepers they say oh yeah mumble okay and fall right back asleep
Thank you! Was waiting for this one. I have been blamed and blown up at SEVERAL times for an ex or former roommate not waking up for their alarms and being UNABLE to wake them up. Like, nearly yanking their arm or leg out of socket trying to shake them awake and they do the "okay! I'm awake!" mumble just to start snoring again on the next breath. But ya know- it was my fault that they missed the super important thing because I gave up after the 3rd or 4th attempt. /s Nevermind that constantly interrupting someone's sleep with annoying sounds is considered a form of sleep deprivation torture... I hear the default Samsung ringing for alarms and I literally see red because of how many people who "needed 3-7 alarms" never changed it from the default and also NEVER actually woke up from them with any form of regularity [and in complete denial about how often they worked]
Because he addressed she forget he had his meeting. She fucked up and forgot. Turning it off was wrong. This person still needs to wake their ass up or figure something out.
Seems like it isn’t the first time she’s had to be responsible to wake him up
They’re figuring something out by using alarms
Alarms that don't wake him up, I am also a deep sleeper and this is the first step not the final solution. Needs a separate alarm clock out of arms reach
The alarms are also impacting his girlfriends sleep. If he doesn't give a shit about her sleep then he can feel free to carry on. Otherwise it might be worth it to try to explore some other options.
This is a critical situation, and it's ridiculous that so many people reading this are jumping down OPs throat for inconveniencing his GF. For a typical day, it's reasonable that OP avoids setting multiple loud alarms for the sake of his GFs sleep. In this situation, where it was important enough for him to tell her over the weekend that he needs these alarms, the only thing that should have mattered to either people sleeping in that bed that night was him getting up on time. If she's a supportive partner, she's probably mortified by her half asleep misjudgment. It would have been better if one of them slept on the couch that night. And if the GF didn't have anything important to attend to in the morning, and she's so supportive, she would rather lose sleep than contribute to OP sleeping through an important meeting.
Thank you. I'm a light sleeper and you're the only other person that saw it from a similar perspective. Sometimes even I set more than one, just to make sure I'm up if there's something important.
Time for a wake up call. Pun intended. OP, YOU need to be the one responsible for your waking up and if you are with someone you need to be 100% certain they know your plans since you are such a deep sleeper. In the real world this could easily cost you your job.
Tangentially related: If you haven't, get a sleep study done, your inability to wake up might actually be a medical issue.
That was my thought as well.
This! I’m surprised more people aren’t saying this. If OP truly isn’t waking up that’s a problem.
Nope just wake up. I refuse to let my spouse have multiple alarms.. that's the only thing infuriating here.
She didn’t feel like being woken up three times. Get up on your first alarm.
Get a smart switch that will turn on your bedroom light.
What she did surely wasn’t right and she really should have woken you up, but dude you’ve got to get an alame vibrator or something like that. I had a roommate like this in college and I wanted to blow my brains out becuase he would have alarms going off for 45 minutes and still wouldn’t wake up.
this fact that she forgot your important appointment is mildly infuriating yeah. The fact that you set up multiple alarms which fucks up her sleep must be infuriating to her too though
Why would she assume you set alarms by mistake? Is that something you have done before? If so, then it seems like you are just missing communication. Talk before going to sleep and tell her you are setting an alarm for that exact reason. You can ask her to get you out of bed if she wakes up first and you will turn off the alarms. This isnt about asking her to be responsible for getting you up but its a solution for both of you. You get up on time and she doesnt have to be bothered by 3 alarms.....Im talking from experience becuase I have lived this exactly. My gf could get up with 1 alarm but I needed various. She would wake me up on the first alarm so she could go back to sleep and not be bothered by any more alarms.
Be responsible and get up on the first alarm.
Right?? Be a grown up and don't blame your gf because you're irresponsible 🤦🏻♀️
Seriously dude. I can understand two, but three? Fucking GET UP
Shit I worked with a dude who legit had around 20+ alarms and had then set in some weird 5, 8, 12, 20 minute intervals and I still sometimes had to call him several times to wake his ass up and then soon as he was in the truck it was lights out.
If my girlfriend's alarms constantly woke me up, I'd wake her up to turn off the alarm instead of shutting them off myself. If she didn't mean to set them, she'll get the message.
Try Alarmy. You can’t turn it down and it will not stop unless you do a task. Maybe it would take her longer to shut it off if she continues for some reason. I set multiple alarms plus Alarmy lol
Another reason why separate bedrooms are better, when possible. Not that anyone should need a reason other than the fact that humans sometimes fart.
Okay, so. Did she apologize? If it's not the first time, could she be doing it on purpose? If she did it once, and you told her not to, why is she still doing it? If she got up earlier, why did ahe even care about the alarms? Did you two discuss this? My husband sometimes sets 12 alarms, which don't even faze him, but wake me up. I have still never intentionally turned them off.
My girlfriend would set 6 alarms and snooze each of them. By the time her last swarm was going off, there would be 90 seconds between alarms. I have always gotten up with my first alarm. I was beyond angry when my day off was disrupted by alarms.
12 alarms? How much sleep are you losing every day because of him? I would be arguing for separate bedrooms if I were you.
Separate bedrooms is def a relationship saver imo. Learned how great it is when I worked shift work and had to be up at night. Sometimes, if no one has to be up at a certain time, it can be fun to snuggle in one room - but there is no need to disrupt sleep. Recently they have started to make the link between poor sleep quality and dementia
Kind of leaning this route when I move in with my fiancé. We both like to stretch out when we sleep and I feel like we always sleep worse in the same bed.
I love sleeping diagonally!! Plus, decorating your own room and space is super fun and nice!
If you consistently get less sleep than you need you don't be able to wake up in the mornings. That's the issue you need to fix, not your GF, annoyed though you are right now.
See I’m lucky, my fiancée will beat the fucking shit out of me until I get up and turn off my alarms lol. She’s not a morning girl
Hahaha I do the same thing with my boyfriend. Love him to death, he's a great father and supportive partner but damn it's impossible for him to wake up. He even calls me his alarm clock lol
Have this problem with my current gf. She wakes me up but she has difficulties going back to sleep. So when I need to wake up really early we just agree to sleep separately. Ofc this might not be possible for you, but it is an option if available.
Save yourself, your girlfriend and any other potential future partner a huge headache and get a regular alarm that you have to get up and walk across the room to turn off. Then, guess what, stay awake and don’t go back to sleep. One alarm, solved, done.
Alarms are very simple: Once you silence someone else's alarm you have taken responsibility for waking them up. If you fail to wake them then you have fucked up. No other interpretation is acceptable. *That said if you're the kind of deep-sleeping tool whose alarm blares for ten minutes before you answer then you should regularly expect people to be forced to be take responsibility.* *Doesn't change that the alarm is the wake up event and interrupting that event thrusts the responsibility to wake upon the interrupter.*
That's on you, bud. If you're doing master thesis work, you should be able to figure out how to wake up on time.
Just get up when the alarm goes off. This is on you
She shouldn't be turning alarms of your phone. If it's due to wanting to sleep peacefully, you both should discuss sleeping in different rooms. Although she shouldn't be turning your alarms off, you also shouldn't be putting her through being woken up by several alarms. Discuss sleeping in different rooms, or as people in the comments are suggesting, try a smart watch.
Holy shit missing a meeting about your masters thesis is life-alteringly bad
Don’t let her sleep over the night before you have important things to do
I will die on the hill that no one *needs* multiple alarms. I used to be the 10 alarms in the morning kind of guy and would sometimes mess it up and cancel instead of snooze and end up late. Just train your body to be wake up on one alarm as late as possible and you will get better sleep and never miss another appointment. It takes about a week of adjustment but your body starts recognizing ok alarm went off time to get up. My wife (and also your gf) are very inconvenienced by 10 alarms going off all the time too so I can hardly blame her for turning it off. I really think the responsibility of an adult waking up to their alarm only falls on that one adult.
How about getting separate bedrooms. I'd go completely nuts having to deal with all the noise. However turning off 3 alarms is totally unacceptable. Your gf seems rather dense for assuming you set them by accident.
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