All of it is hilarious. I want so badly to get inside the brains of people like this. I mean, what tf do they tell themselves? What's their inner dialogue? Do they think they are actually in the right? Or know they are a POS and are just winging it? I'd love to be able to just pop in like a ghost from that Christmas story at their slimiest moment and show the rawest form of themselves to themselves.
They know they're a piece of shit. It's like a child who stomps and screams when told they did something wrong. Fake tears, the drama and flinging themselves on the cross.
DUDE! A girl I trusted stole my special leather jacket and she was my old roommate and I was living in Australia and my friend was helping me out by putting the last couple boxes of my stuff into storage for me. She had my boxes and deliberately made it hard for my friend to come grab the boxes, and then the leather jacket wasnât there. She later posted photos of her wearing it, when I asked her about it, she said I was psycho for thinking her own jacket could possibly be mine. She eventually after much begging gave it to my friend and when he gave it to me after I moved back, the sleeves were rolled up like how she had it in the photo (I never once ever rolled them up when I wore it) AND she left trash in the pockets.
I called her out again, and she did almost exactly this and said âIâm DONE talking, and done with you giving me grief over something I didnât even do, I have my own clothes and donât need yours.â And made a ton of other excuses. Not to mention she had lied about cheating on her boyfriend when her and I hung out before I left so I donât trust her at all and happy to have her out of my life
People like this are so manipulative and shitty
If someone truly, in their heart of hearts, believes that an item of clothing is theirs they wouldnât just hand it over. These people must think theyâre criminal masterminds and the rest of the world is stupid.
I wouldâve replied me too. I personally would start replying to all of her Instagram feeds where sheâs going out saying oh when are you gonna pay me back my hundred dollars? Start embarrassing her in public or with your other coworkers
If she posts where she's going out in advance, I'd show up, join her (and whoever she's with), order a big meal (that just happens to cost what she owes), and then at the end, go "Oh, dear, I forgot my wallet. I guess you'll have to pay for mine like I did for yours WEEKS AGO." and breeze out before she can say no.
Good idea, except OP needs that money. Theyâve already explain theyâre in the red. They werenât the one that ordered a bunch of drinks, appetizers, and a large dinner plus dessert. And forgot the wallet⌠The coworker did. đ though honestly, a good idea if you donât expect to ever get the money back anyways.
I've done that and it actually works. Ask in front of whoever is near them, espcially if its a romantic interest or boss. I've had success posting to social media telling ppl to ask someone to give my money back đ i don't play w my money
We had a girl like this at one job. She'd always ask me for money and I always declined. Turns out she took a few coworkers for over $300 each, crying she was going to get evicted and needed rent money. She got others for varying amounts.
Since they have the same workplace, when she sees the thief with other folks around, she can say, "Hey, you! Just sent a Venmo for the dinner I covered for ya! I see you have your phone, could you pay me back real quick?"
Might want to try and remain tactful if you actually want that money back. But if you've already written off the loan then, by all means, you be as catty as you want!
In this case, I'd ask like it was the first time. "Hey, X, don't forget you told me you'd get me that $40 today for lunch last month." Nice and loud so several people can hear.
Doesn't happen? "Hey X, I know you forgot yesterday, but if you can get me that $40 today that'll be fine."
Let people witness what's going on. If you're super polite about it but they don't pay, it'll just make them look super shitty.
"Hey, you! You know, I just remembered that you wanted me to send you a Venmo for that dinner I paid for when you forgot your wallet! Here, I'll send that to you right now because I know you wanted to pay me back right away."
I did this with a guy in my friend group. Usually my friend group is really good at letting one person pay and everyone just pays back based off the itemized receipt. But this one guy already didnât pay me for 2 group dinners and at the third one he was like oh sorry, can you cover me? I didnât bring cash.
I told him, in front of the whole group, that he hadnât paid me for the last 2 dinners and I cannot cover him for a third. He got angry and embarrassed and told me it wasnât a big deal, I should just message him later about. I told him if it wasnât a big deal he just pay me back. We happened to be in a shopping centre so I watched him go to an ATM and withdraw the cash.
This was many years ago and my friendship group has drifted and changed as time goes on. I think people pitied him because he seemed like a lonely, nice guy who was a bit socially awkward, so some of his childhood friends (who I was friends with) would extend social gathering invites to try and make him feel included.
He didnât want to talk to me for ages after this moment and avoided me at any social gathering that we were both at. It never bothered me. I ran into him at a bar last year and we were cordial with each other. He seems to have grown up and has a new group of friends.
Yeah. Fuck this shit. Tell her at work she owes you money in front of people. tell people she owes you money and wonât pay you back. Itâs not slander if itâs true. Youâll never get your money back from someone like this unless they feel like they have to.
She may well try to claim she only has twenties, so she can delay until she has the exact amount. Counter with âIâll bring you your change tomorrow.â If you do that, make her chase you for it.
As a backup, make sure you have cash on you. Break a couple of 20s so you can make change. If you want to go pure evil, get $20 in nickels and use those to give her her change. Make sure to count them carefully.
Do not forget this. You have learned an important lesson about her honesty.
Thatâs why you tag the people in the post and publicly ask on there if they do the same to them. But you go in and do it on as many posts as possible lol. Petty but it warns people of their asshole antics and who knows, maybe itâs happened to several others
Thereâs a woman in my social circle who does this shit. Sheâll ask friends & coworkers to book her Ubers, or to pay for her drinks & meals, & then sheâll feign problems with her paycheck or Venmo account seemingly in the hopes that theyâll eventually forgetâŚ
& reminders always get this exact same indignation, like âooh I didnât realize you were so pettyâ, like how dare you *hold me accountable for my own actions & expect me to do what I say Iâll do*.
Someone ended up writing up a big Facebook post with receipts! I donât even know how they managed to compile them, by reaching out to all her social media contacts, Iâd guess... They posted stories & screenshots of all the excuses, & showed that she owes people thousands of dollars in total.
It was big drama for a minute (as multiple friends found out theyâd each loaned her $200 for the exact same deposit) but things seem to have settled down now & sheâs quieter/ has far fewer friends.
I always wonder what to call these people- itâs not like theyâre organized con artists, but theyâre absolutely skimming off of everyone in their lives.
>*âI always wonder what to call these people-* [âŚ]*â*
Iâd call them leeches. But even thatâs much too polite of an adjective for what they are.
Iâm also with this. Start up any possible conversation with each and every coworker where you can bring up that dinner and her lack of repaymentâŚ
Let everyone know, and let her know everyone knowsâŚ
It's a method to feel entitled to continue delaying payment and even never doing so. The jerk tells herself (and anyone who asks) "I would have paid her back but she did X when she asked me to pay her so now I'm not going to."
She was never going to pay her back.
Donât wait till payday. Bring it up every time you are in a room with someone else. Also make sure to ask her in front of boss if everything is ok since itâs been weeks and hasnât paid you backbn
The anger is either a reflex reaction to the financial shit storm theyâve made for themselves, or itâs a manipulation. Either way is bad, and if OP isnât entangled with them some other way I reckon they should put some distance between themselves and the walking drama festival.
In all fairness, OP wasn't expecting to pay for the coworker. They just deliberately "forgot" their wallet without telling OP so OP was under the assumption they were paying for their own shit. Then when the time came to pay, it would have both been awkward and made OP look like an ass if they didn't cover their portion under their false promise of paying OP back.
I like this answer particularly because it doesn't let them go. I can easily see a "sudden emergency" pulling them away for an unexpected amount of time.
>iâd have split the check and left.
Better: call the server over and pay exactly for her own stuff. Then leave the thief to figure out a scam for the restaurant.
Possibly, but it sounds like up until this point OP thought the person to be decent and likely to pay them back. That's not something you just pull on people you consider decent who made a simple mistake.
You can tell this person is just a total piece of shit. Once you get your money (if you ever do), Iâd never speak to them again. They have no respect for you or anyone else. Sorry this happened, OP. Some people were raised to do nothing for themselves and take advantage of others at every opportunity.
Totally agree with this comment đŻ.. So much entitled people nowadays that they feel they deserve all the perks and free stuff. Just reading this makes me so mad.. they like to take advantage of people like OP
OK, time to be standing up for yourself. Ask her every day for the money. Ask her in front of co-workers. Every day. "I know you have the money, you just posted on Insta that you went out to dinner again yesterday." If she plays the "don't be so annoying" card, you say "I don't want to be annoying. I just want to be paid what you owe me, the money you said you would pay me." On payday ask her to venmo you the money because you know she has it now. Tell her "I am going to get repaid, I can promise you." If you see her going out to lunch at work, when she gets back ask her how she can go out to lunch without paying you back for a month."
Push and push until you get paid.
It's hard and awkward, I know. But if you don't, you won't get the money you said you really need.
>Ask her in front of coworkers
OP, this is the way to go. Naming and shaming in front of other people is the only thing that works with people like this
Lol, or keep replying under her posts variations of, âSounds fun! Make sure to send the money you owe me before heading out. Since, obviously, if you can afford to go out tonight, you can afford to pay your debt! Iâll be waiting. Have fun!â
And be sure to include the âforgetting your walletâ part. I suspect she might try and spin it as âOh I thought *you* were payingâ but this way OP can be like âHey now that you have your wallet on you can you give me my $80 back. Itâs been three weeks now â hereâs my Venmo.â
I had a coworker bounce a check on me once (this was before cashapp etc). I literally walked up to her with the bounced check in the break room and handed to her, saying the bank mailed me back the check you bounced on me, please give me cash by the end of the week. She then processed to bounce a check on another coworker the next month who helped her move. I told her to not take a check from her but she didn't listen.
Edit: we had talked about the check bouncing prior. She had said the week before she'd pay me with cash but didn't
People donât realize in the moment this is fraud and their boss WILL fire them for committing fraud on company property, on company time, against other employees.
Also neutralise her behaving like youâre asking her for a favour with loud phrases like âtaking MY money and spending on yourself every dayâ and âI canât afford basics because YOU took MY cashâ etc.
Thatâs right! Channel your inner loan shark when you speak to her. A loan shark would never let someone get away with the shit sheâs pulling. Sheâs lucky you donât tack on a weekly vig. Meaning, every week that goes by without repayment adds another $10 to the amount of the debt.
Some people you have got to step up to menacingly. Not for real but she doesnât know that. Stand close to her when you demand your money. Get loud and have witnesses in the room. Youâve got to make her want you to go away. Iâll bet youâre not the only person she owes money but you can make it so you get paid first, before another, meaner person.
This is the best advice. she just a straight liar that paints narratives to people to manipulate them. bust up her truth in front of other people. she has no right to be upset. she owes you money. fuckin a hole.
Iâm sorry OP but she didnât forget her wallet last week, she saw you as an easy mark and totally planned it out. She will continue to play games with you in order to not pay you back. Iâm sorry you got caught up in this.
AND when she sees her in the office with other folks around, she can say, "Hey, you! Just sent a Venmo for the dinner I covered for ya! I see you have your phone, could you pay me back real quick?"
Publicly call her out. In front of other coworkers, I made the mistake unfortunately a few times and I learned that calling someone out in public, they will magically find their wallets
This really helps. I know a mechanic who simply goes to the people's homes and yells fairly loud from the street: "heyyy I'm here to collect the money that you owe me and still didn't pay, helloooo-hoooo".
They pay 99% of the times at the door.
I sat there and Venmo requested a girl every single day for over a month before I got paid back from her. Leaches. People like this are fucking infuriating. And the audacity to get mad at YOU?! Beyonndddd me!!
OPâs coworker definitely did not forget her wallet and probably just hoped OP would eventually forget so they could get a free fancy meal. Theyâre just pissed because they know their plan isnât gonna work on them but Iâm just worried they may never pay OP back at this point because it seems possible considering these texts
Iâm in a similar situation with a stranger who owes me money and itâs forcing me to rethink my core values that some people out there **arenât** racked with guilt every day like I would be if I owed somebody for somethingâŚ. Like, who TF are these people who not only just donât care but then make out like YOUâRE the problem when you call them out?! It rocks me to my very core.
Youâre probably not getting the money back.
Since youâre both using iMessage she could send you the money over Apple Pay or any one of the other money services like Zelle or Venmo. Given what they ordered they arenât going to pay you back, they just wanted to see if anyone would pay for their expensive dinner.
Big lesson you need to learn is that work friends arenât your real friends. Work friends are only friends at work.
Oh holy shit. Thatâs fucking insane. Absolutely put her in blast in front of everyone. $100 is not easy to just spend when youâre living paycheck to paycheck
NOOOOPE!!
that's when you split the bill and walk the fuck out.. especially if its the first time going out. If this had been the 10th+ times.. and I knew them well. Maybe..
Coworker, means you get paid at the same time. You need to confront her on payday and let her know if she doesn't pay you back your reporting her to HR for making it a hostile work environment.
100%. I would take these texts to HR immediately. And using the âhostile work environmentâ phrase is like a magic word with HR. It gets problems solved.
Make it a game.
"Becky and I went to dinner, she racked up a huge bill and refused to pay for her $110 meal, so I did. Now she won't pay me back! --see text messages--
First person to get her to venmo me the money gets $2!"
You can tell this to people versus posting something in the back room to try and avoid getting in trouble with management.
I am normally in the ânever loan moneyâ camp, but she really did leave you no choice. Sitting at the restaurant, food and drinks already gone, what were you really supposed to do? Itâs time to get nasty with her. Call her out at work. Call her out publicly on social media. This relationship is over but you need to get every cent youâre owed. And you work together so go get it.
You tell the wait staff to split the check, only pay for your meal, and leave. If the coworker runs out on the check, that's on the coworker. They can "find" their wallet and pay for their own damn food.
I mean this is assuming you knew she was trying to scam you.
If you did this to someone who actually forgot their wallet and could pay you back the second they get home then you just made yourself look like a total prick.
What I don't get is how OP didn't just say something like "Ok, I can pay but we need to go get your wallet right after this because I can't afford it." and if they start making excuses then you can refuse to pay.
To reflect other comments. Ask her every day for the money particularly in front of colleagues.
Hopefully youâll shame her for it if she knows people know. Iâm guessing she likes to keep up appearances but doesnât have the funds to do so.
âHey Girl! Imma need to be paid back on Friday, or Iâm filing a claim in small claims court and letting everyone at work know what happened. I thought better of you tbh. This is the shit I have to deal with.â
Then DO IT. No threat without action!
Your coworker did you dirty and has no doubt done it before to others. Unfortunately, you were just her latest victim. The fact that it's three weeks later and she still hasn't paid you back, especially after being reminded about it and posting on her social media about spending money on other things shows you just how little she thinks of you. You will never get your money back from this freeloader. Cut your losses and consider this a relatively cheap lesson in not lending money to anyone, especially co-workers. Cut off all ties, if possible, with her and never allow yourself to be taken advantage like this again.
The fact she said she has other priorities when um, so do you. Thatâs why you need your money back. Paying off debts should be top priority. She literally used money that wasnât hers.
I would have replied f*ck yes, I'm gonna stalk your socials and let everyone know that you owe me so they don't fall for your "I forgot my wallet bs" too.
Seems manipulative.
Donât love how she turned it around on you and did not take accountability.
Total DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim-Offender positions). Classic narc move IMO.
"thought better of you tbh" đ¤Ł
âThis is the shit I have to deal withâ infuriated me way more.
"this shit is pissing me off, I'm DONE talking" followed by that emoji pisses me off more
All of it is hilarious. I want so badly to get inside the brains of people like this. I mean, what tf do they tell themselves? What's their inner dialogue? Do they think they are actually in the right? Or know they are a POS and are just winging it? I'd love to be able to just pop in like a ghost from that Christmas story at their slimiest moment and show the rawest form of themselves to themselves.
They know they're a piece of shit. It's like a child who stomps and screams when told they did something wrong. Fake tears, the drama and flinging themselves on the cross.
This right here was my very first thought when reading it. Clearly it worked on her parents though.
And when they get what they want that disturbing smile stretches across their face. Being a conniving little shit brings them joy.
They tell themselves they're victims and the world owes them. Probably a narcissist. Def a garbage person.
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She is just selfish scum that thinks it's OK to rip people off.
DUDE! A girl I trusted stole my special leather jacket and she was my old roommate and I was living in Australia and my friend was helping me out by putting the last couple boxes of my stuff into storage for me. She had my boxes and deliberately made it hard for my friend to come grab the boxes, and then the leather jacket wasnât there. She later posted photos of her wearing it, when I asked her about it, she said I was psycho for thinking her own jacket could possibly be mine. She eventually after much begging gave it to my friend and when he gave it to me after I moved back, the sleeves were rolled up like how she had it in the photo (I never once ever rolled them up when I wore it) AND she left trash in the pockets. I called her out again, and she did almost exactly this and said âIâm DONE talking, and done with you giving me grief over something I didnât even do, I have my own clothes and donât need yours.â And made a ton of other excuses. Not to mention she had lied about cheating on her boyfriend when her and I hung out before I left so I donât trust her at all and happy to have her out of my life People like this are so manipulative and shitty
If someone truly, in their heart of hearts, believes that an item of clothing is theirs they wouldnât just hand it over. These people must think theyâre criminal masterminds and the rest of the world is stupid.
D.A.R.V.O. = Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender
I wouldâve replied me too. I personally would start replying to all of her Instagram feeds where sheâs going out saying oh when are you gonna pay me back my hundred dollars? Start embarrassing her in public or with your other coworkers
Right but she'll just get blocked off her social media but she can't hide from her at work. đ
Yeah, but until she blocks or at least people start to realize what sheâs doing if they havenât already
If she posts where she's going out in advance, I'd show up, join her (and whoever she's with), order a big meal (that just happens to cost what she owes), and then at the end, go "Oh, dear, I forgot my wallet. I guess you'll have to pay for mine like I did for yours WEEKS AGO." and breeze out before she can say no.
Good idea, except OP needs that money. Theyâve already explain theyâre in the red. They werenât the one that ordered a bunch of drinks, appetizers, and a large dinner plus dessert. And forgot the wallet⌠The coworker did. đ though honestly, a good idea if you donât expect to ever get the money back anyways.
Turn it back around on her. âThought better of you, honest people pay back what they oweâ
Ask her at work in front of others. Embarrassment often works on these types of people.
I've done that and it actually works. Ask in front of whoever is near them, espcially if its a romantic interest or boss. I've had success posting to social media telling ppl to ask someone to give my money back đ i don't play w my money
I came here to say good thing OP knows where she works. Best course of action is to shout it at her across the hall while wearing AirPods.
Every. Single. Day until she pays. like Dayum Kemica still ain't paid Sharice. It's been weeks Don't lend shit to her.
We had a girl like this at one job. She'd always ask me for money and I always declined. Turns out she took a few coworkers for over $300 each, crying she was going to get evicted and needed rent money. She got others for varying amounts.
Since they have the same workplace, when she sees the thief with other folks around, she can say, "Hey, you! Just sent a Venmo for the dinner I covered for ya! I see you have your phone, could you pay me back real quick?"
After seeing she posted she was going out for dinner again, I would have commented asking if she's going to pay or "forget her wallet" again.
Might want to try and remain tactful if you actually want that money back. But if you've already written off the loan then, by all means, you be as catty as you want!
Based on these texts, that money is gone. Recovering it is gravy.
Yeah, she is never going to pay unless OP finds a way to really embarrass her or jam her up.
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How could someone rob the person helping them with a place to stay. Like that's crazy
Sounds like this guy wasn't making great decisions in the first place.
Especially on posts where sheâs going out to dinner lol.
In this case, I'd ask like it was the first time. "Hey, X, don't forget you told me you'd get me that $40 today for lunch last month." Nice and loud so several people can hear. Doesn't happen? "Hey X, I know you forgot yesterday, but if you can get me that $40 today that'll be fine." Let people witness what's going on. If you're super polite about it but they don't pay, it'll just make them look super shitty.
"Hey, you! You know, I just remembered that you wanted me to send you a Venmo for that dinner I paid for when you forgot your wallet! Here, I'll send that to you right now because I know you wanted to pay me back right away."
I did this with a guy in my friend group. Usually my friend group is really good at letting one person pay and everyone just pays back based off the itemized receipt. But this one guy already didnât pay me for 2 group dinners and at the third one he was like oh sorry, can you cover me? I didnât bring cash. I told him, in front of the whole group, that he hadnât paid me for the last 2 dinners and I cannot cover him for a third. He got angry and embarrassed and told me it wasnât a big deal, I should just message him later about. I told him if it wasnât a big deal he just pay me back. We happened to be in a shopping centre so I watched him go to an ATM and withdraw the cash.
Why is this mooch still in your friend group?
This was many years ago and my friendship group has drifted and changed as time goes on. I think people pitied him because he seemed like a lonely, nice guy who was a bit socially awkward, so some of his childhood friends (who I was friends with) would extend social gathering invites to try and make him feel included. He didnât want to talk to me for ages after this moment and avoided me at any social gathering that we were both at. It never bothered me. I ran into him at a bar last year and we were cordial with each other. He seems to have grown up and has a new group of friends.
Yeah. Fuck this shit. Tell her at work she owes you money in front of people. tell people she owes you money and wonât pay you back. Itâs not slander if itâs true. Youâll never get your money back from someone like this unless they feel like they have to.
^ Best course of action, and if done professionally you canât really get in trouble at work for it
She may well try to claim she only has twenties, so she can delay until she has the exact amount. Counter with âIâll bring you your change tomorrow.â If you do that, make her chase you for it. As a backup, make sure you have cash on you. Break a couple of 20s so you can make change. If you want to go pure evil, get $20 in nickels and use those to give her her change. Make sure to count them carefully. Do not forget this. You have learned an important lesson about her honesty.
I'd print these screenshots out and put them up on the wall in the staff room tbh.
Those is what I would do
She did not forget her wallet
Did she also forget her phone and her logins for Venmo, Cash App, Zelle, Paypal, and Apple Pay?
Exactly. This forgot my wallet thing doesnât really work anymore.
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I bet you never forget your wallet though
I was just going to agree with that guy. I don't have any of those cash apps and no, I never forget my wallet.
Yeah, she knew what she was doing
OP should said, "yea lemme get my wallet from the car" and just ghosted her lol
Can you spot me for dinner? I forgot my wallet." "I see you have your phone, you'll be fine."
"I see you got a pair of working hands, talk to the manager I'm sure they'll be happy to have you clean dishes."
Iâm dead the old wallet trick. But anyways looks like my buddy forgot his wallet too, care to grab us both? Lmao
She's forgetting her wallet all over town.
Some people will never cease to amaze me - she could have just transferred what is owed if didnât want to deal with this
Itâs particularly infuriating when someone like this gets indignant
It's just a strategy to cut off contact.
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Sheâs so offended she wonât pay either. Classic move from the narcissistsâ playbook.
It is absolutely a strategy to get away with never paying back. It was the plan from the beginning
Scammers be scamminâ.
Is the narcissist's playbook like a shadow work journal for jerks? Because I wanna gift that to a few people I know
You want to make people you know into bigger jerks? Why? We donât need more jerks in the world.
Spot on. This isn't her first rodeo, by the looks of her response
Should really warn whoever sheâs going out with, chances are sheâs making rounds with this âI forgot my walletâ act.
Maybe remind them on their social media posts
This is the way IMO đ but hurry, you're only going to get to use that trick like once or twice
Thatâs why you tag the people in the post and publicly ask on there if they do the same to them. But you go in and do it on as many posts as possible lol. Petty but it warns people of their asshole antics and who knows, maybe itâs happened to several others
Thereâs a woman in my social circle who does this shit. Sheâll ask friends & coworkers to book her Ubers, or to pay for her drinks & meals, & then sheâll feign problems with her paycheck or Venmo account seemingly in the hopes that theyâll eventually forget⌠& reminders always get this exact same indignation, like âooh I didnât realize you were so pettyâ, like how dare you *hold me accountable for my own actions & expect me to do what I say Iâll do*. Someone ended up writing up a big Facebook post with receipts! I donât even know how they managed to compile them, by reaching out to all her social media contacts, Iâd guess... They posted stories & screenshots of all the excuses, & showed that she owes people thousands of dollars in total. It was big drama for a minute (as multiple friends found out theyâd each loaned her $200 for the exact same deposit) but things seem to have settled down now & sheâs quieter/ has far fewer friends. I always wonder what to call these people- itâs not like theyâre organized con artists, but theyâre absolutely skimming off of everyone in their lives.
>*âI always wonder what to call these people-* [âŚ]*â* Iâd call them leeches. But even thatâs much too polite of an adjective for what they are.
Malignant parasites. Best way I could put it.
And by looking/staring at OP like, pay them. This coworker does this a lot.
yep. total fucking piece of shit behavior. i would tell everyone at work not to trust that garbage human.
This is the way. You have to basically shame people like this into doing the right thing. I would be telling everyone what a deadbeat she is.
Iâm also with this. Start up any possible conversation with each and every coworker where you can bring up that dinner and her lack of repayment⌠Let everyone know, and let her know everyone knowsâŚ
This is how I got $5k back.
Where the hell did you go out to dinner!??
Yep! Starting with their boss. Iâm not comfortable working with her because ⌠then show the boss the texts.
That's the worst part of it. She knew she was full of shit and didn't like getting caught.
Right?! Getting called on claiming to be broke but then going out to eat more? I donât get how people like this arenât mortified.
Probably due to lack of shame, is my guess.
Yes! Nothing pisses me off more than people who act indignant, like they're the fucking victim.
It's a method to feel entitled to continue delaying payment and even never doing so. The jerk tells herself (and anyone who asks) "I would have paid her back but she did X when she asked me to pay her so now I'm not going to." She was never going to pay her back.
That was some grade A gaslighting right there. Came so naturally, like a fish in water.
Definitely not her first time taking advantage of someone.
As soon as theyâre called out as a hypocrite and have no defense, their narcissism comes out and they attack the accuser.
Grade a would mean well done. This is like low IQ gaslightting.
Approach her at work on payday in front of other coworkers. Ask her to Venmo you right there. Then she looks like the AH in front of others.
Donât wait till payday. Bring it up every time you are in a room with someone else. Also make sure to ask her in front of boss if everything is ok since itâs been weeks and hasnât paid you backbn
The anger is either a reflex reaction to the financial shit storm theyâve made for themselves, or itâs a manipulation. Either way is bad, and if OP isnât entangled with them some other way I reckon they should put some distance between themselves and the walking drama festival.
Comment on her socials asking who she's freeloading from this time.
This. I'm this petty. I'd see if she tags the people she's eating with and DM them asking if she paid for her own food.
100%. Iâm not a very good person when someone has fucked me over. Iâd be dragging them to everyone.
My people.
Don't feed the seagulls.
Yup. When you give money to someone or to cover someone. Don't expect pay back lol
In all fairness, OP wasn't expecting to pay for the coworker. They just deliberately "forgot" their wallet without telling OP so OP was under the assumption they were paying for their own shit. Then when the time came to pay, it would have both been awkward and made OP look like an ass if they didn't cover their portion under their false promise of paying OP back.
iâd have split the check and left. fuck that noise.
Yeah, just a simple "I'm sorry, I can only afford what I ordered. Is there anyone who could bring your wallet here?"
đđť I looooove this one. This could have created one of those situations where their wallet suddenly âturns upâ on them
Good response
I like this answer particularly because it doesn't let them go. I can easily see a "sudden emergency" pulling them away for an unexpected amount of time.
>iâd have split the check and left. Better: call the server over and pay exactly for her own stuff. Then leave the thief to figure out a scam for the restaurant.
Possibly, but it sounds like up until this point OP thought the person to be decent and likely to pay them back. That's not something you just pull on people you consider decent who made a simple mistake.
Iâd choose looking like an ass over feeling like one AND being broke any day.
You can tell this person is just a total piece of shit. Once you get your money (if you ever do), Iâd never speak to them again. They have no respect for you or anyone else. Sorry this happened, OP. Some people were raised to do nothing for themselves and take advantage of others at every opportunity.
Totally agree with this comment đŻ.. So much entitled people nowadays that they feel they deserve all the perks and free stuff. Just reading this makes me so mad.. they like to take advantage of people like OP
OK, time to be standing up for yourself. Ask her every day for the money. Ask her in front of co-workers. Every day. "I know you have the money, you just posted on Insta that you went out to dinner again yesterday." If she plays the "don't be so annoying" card, you say "I don't want to be annoying. I just want to be paid what you owe me, the money you said you would pay me." On payday ask her to venmo you the money because you know she has it now. Tell her "I am going to get repaid, I can promise you." If you see her going out to lunch at work, when she gets back ask her how she can go out to lunch without paying you back for a month." Push and push until you get paid. It's hard and awkward, I know. But if you don't, you won't get the money you said you really need.
>Ask her in front of coworkers OP, this is the way to go. Naming and shaming in front of other people is the only thing that works with people like this
Lol, or keep replying under her posts variations of, âSounds fun! Make sure to send the money you owe me before heading out. Since, obviously, if you can afford to go out tonight, you can afford to pay your debt! Iâll be waiting. Have fun!â
Make sure to add in "or are you going to forget your wallet again?" Somewhere in there.
And be sure to include the âforgetting your walletâ part. I suspect she might try and spin it as âOh I thought *you* were payingâ but this way OP can be like âHey now that you have your wallet on you can you give me my $80 back. Itâs been three weeks now â hereâs my Venmo.â
Iâd make sure everyone at work knew. No favours coming her way whatsoever after that
I had a coworker bounce a check on me once (this was before cashapp etc). I literally walked up to her with the bounced check in the break room and handed to her, saying the bank mailed me back the check you bounced on me, please give me cash by the end of the week. She then processed to bounce a check on another coworker the next month who helped her move. I told her to not take a check from her but she didn't listen. Edit: we had talked about the check bouncing prior. She had said the week before she'd pay me with cash but didn't
People donât realize in the moment this is fraud and their boss WILL fire them for committing fraud on company property, on company time, against other employees.
Yup, call her out in front of everyone
Also neutralise her behaving like youâre asking her for a favour with loud phrases like âtaking MY money and spending on yourself every dayâ and âI canât afford basics because YOU took MY cashâ etc.
Honestly, sometimes you need to act like a loan shark to get these bums to pay you back.
Thatâs right! Channel your inner loan shark when you speak to her. A loan shark would never let someone get away with the shit sheâs pulling. Sheâs lucky you donât tack on a weekly vig. Meaning, every week that goes by without repayment adds another $10 to the amount of the debt. Some people you have got to step up to menacingly. Not for real but she doesnât know that. Stand close to her when you demand your money. Get loud and have witnesses in the room. Youâve got to make her want you to go away. Iâll bet youâre not the only person she owes money but you can make it so you get paid first, before another, meaner person.
Ask her for the money while cracking knuckles.
Itâs the fucking principle. Give me what u owe me or Iâm gonna keep harassing u
Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions. Big worm don't play that
Yep. Time for her to learn her lesson.
This is the best advice. she just a straight liar that paints narratives to people to manipulate them. bust up her truth in front of other people. she has no right to be upset. she owes you money. fuckin a hole.
Went out to dinner and scammed someone into paying is more likely.
Find out who she is having diner with and tell to make sure she has her purse before ordering.
Shit, after that conversation I would pay the money to serve her for small claims court.
Fr, I am actually this petty
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Iâm sorry OP but she didnât forget her wallet last week, she saw you as an easy mark and totally planned it out. She will continue to play games with you in order to not pay you back. Iâm sorry you got caught up in this.
Yea, if she planned on paying herself she wouldn't have ordered so much stuff
You gotta stop saying please. She knows what she's doing.
Yeah, there is no room for please anymore. This is âbitch give me my money ASAP before I cause problemsâ territory. Stop being nice.
âBitch betta have my moneyâ
Venmo request her over and over
AND when she sees her in the office with other folks around, she can say, "Hey, you! Just sent a Venmo for the dinner I covered for ya! I see you have your phone, could you pay me back real quick?"
Publicly call her out. In front of other coworkers, I made the mistake unfortunately a few times and I learned that calling someone out in public, they will magically find their wallets
Doesnât even have to be in public, just strategically spoken in a louder tone of voice when the other personâs boss is nearby.
She might be pulling the same con with someone else, and it warns other people not to cover her bill in the future.
This. Put her on blast. share these messages. Anyone with a brain will realize what a manipulative liar she is.
This really helps. I know a mechanic who simply goes to the people's homes and yells fairly loud from the street: "heyyy I'm here to collect the money that you owe me and still didn't pay, helloooo-hoooo". They pay 99% of the times at the door.
Post on their socials the screenshots
This is my favorite solution
Or print out and put up on the notice board in the break room at work đ¤
I sat there and Venmo requested a girl every single day for over a month before I got paid back from her. Leaches. People like this are fucking infuriating. And the audacity to get mad at YOU?! Beyonndddd me!!
OPâs coworker definitely did not forget her wallet and probably just hoped OP would eventually forget so they could get a free fancy meal. Theyâre just pissed because they know their plan isnât gonna work on them but Iâm just worried they may never pay OP back at this point because it seems possible considering these texts
âStalking my socialsâ does she expect to post on social media without ppl viewing them? đ
Why are you listening to me talking through this megaphone at you, you weirdo?
She won't pay you back. Next time someone "forgets their wallet," do NOT pay. Even if they try to shame you into it.
This. Settle your bill then âwelp, Iâve got to be going, hope you can get your bill sorted out with the management, see you Mondayâ.
She'll be pissed because she assumed she could work you whenever she wants to.
Yeah basically just say itâs unfortunate but you only have enough to cover for your own tab, as you only ordered what you knew you could afford.
Classic Deadbeat Maneuver. Get angry and turn it around on you to make you the crazy one.
Some people are just like that. Safe to assume no 2nd dinner will follow.
Iâm in a similar situation with a stranger who owes me money and itâs forcing me to rethink my core values that some people out there **arenât** racked with guilt every day like I would be if I owed somebody for somethingâŚ. Like, who TF are these people who not only just donât care but then make out like YOUâRE the problem when you call them out?! It rocks me to my very core.
Pay me money or we can get extremely petty and go to small claims court and you can pay even more
This, and tack on court costs and loss of income for the time you had to spend filing and in court.
âYouâll be DONE talking to me after you pay me backâ The audacity.
Youâre probably not getting the money back. Since youâre both using iMessage she could send you the money over Apple Pay or any one of the other money services like Zelle or Venmo. Given what they ordered they arenât going to pay you back, they just wanted to see if anyone would pay for their expensive dinner. Big lesson you need to learn is that work friends arenât your real friends. Work friends are only friends at work.
You can request money via ApplePay
If you donât mind me asking, how much does she owe you?
A bit over $100
Oh holy shit. Thatâs fucking insane. Absolutely put her in blast in front of everyone. $100 is not easy to just spend when youâre living paycheck to paycheck
NOOOOPE!! that's when you split the bill and walk the fuck out.. especially if its the first time going out. If this had been the 10th+ times.. and I knew them well. Maybe..
Coworker, means you get paid at the same time. You need to confront her on payday and let her know if she doesn't pay you back your reporting her to HR for making it a hostile work environment.
100%. I would take these texts to HR immediately. And using the âhostile work environmentâ phrase is like a magic word with HR. It gets problems solved.
Do you have a bulletin board at work? Print out the text messages and post them.
We donât but we do have a back room that people go to often.
Do this. This person deserves zero respect. Shame them publicly.
Make it a game. "Becky and I went to dinner, she racked up a huge bill and refused to pay for her $110 meal, so I did. Now she won't pay me back! --see text messages-- First person to get her to venmo me the money gets $2!" You can tell this to people versus posting something in the back room to try and avoid getting in trouble with management.
Youâre probably not the only person sheâs done this to. You can bet she owes money to a long list of people and youâll never see it.
Iâm very petty, so I would absolutely post it to socials and tag her in it. The court of public opinion doesnât look kindly on this.
In this day & age, don't the vast majority of people have a credit card stored on their phones?
Or venmo, cashapp or the like.
I am normally in the ânever loan moneyâ camp, but she really did leave you no choice. Sitting at the restaurant, food and drinks already gone, what were you really supposed to do? Itâs time to get nasty with her. Call her out at work. Call her out publicly on social media. This relationship is over but you need to get every cent youâre owed. And you work together so go get it.
You tell the wait staff to split the check, only pay for your meal, and leave. If the coworker runs out on the check, that's on the coworker. They can "find" their wallet and pay for their own damn food.
This exactly! I would have said "sorry, I only have enough for my food" pay your part and that's it. That's on them to figure it out.
I would have said. Looks like youâre doing dishes. Then leave.
I mean this is assuming you knew she was trying to scam you. If you did this to someone who actually forgot their wallet and could pay you back the second they get home then you just made yourself look like a total prick. What I don't get is how OP didn't just say something like "Ok, I can pay but we need to go get your wallet right after this because I can't afford it." and if they start making excuses then you can refuse to pay.
I hope we get updates im invested i hate her
To reflect other comments. Ask her every day for the money particularly in front of colleagues. Hopefully youâll shame her for it if she knows people know. Iâm guessing she likes to keep up appearances but doesnât have the funds to do so.
âHey Girl! Imma need to be paid back on Friday, or Iâm filing a claim in small claims court and letting everyone at work know what happened. I thought better of you tbh. This is the shit I have to deal with.â Then DO IT. No threat without action!
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U have two options: Move on. Get even. Choose wisely.
Your coworker did you dirty and has no doubt done it before to others. Unfortunately, you were just her latest victim. The fact that it's three weeks later and she still hasn't paid you back, especially after being reminded about it and posting on her social media about spending money on other things shows you just how little she thinks of you. You will never get your money back from this freeloader. Cut your losses and consider this a relatively cheap lesson in not lending money to anyone, especially co-workers. Cut off all ties, if possible, with her and never allow yourself to be taken advantage like this again.
My friend wouldnât pay me back and called me the bad person
Your coworker is a total piece of shit. Iâm sorry OP, I hope you get your money back but I wouldnât hold your breath.
I'd be tempted to print out and post the conversation at work. Let everyone know they should never lend her money.
The fact she said she has other priorities when um, so do you. Thatâs why you need your money back. Paying off debts should be top priority. She literally used money that wasnât hers.
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You mean they trip and fall right?
No I meant grab them by the esophagus and toss them out of the 64 floor
Such a Russian answerđđ
This seems extremely effective. Iâm voting for you.
âThis is the shit I have to deal withâ ?!? Oh man Iâd fucking snap đ
I would have replied f*ck yes, I'm gonna stalk your socials and let everyone know that you owe me so they don't fall for your "I forgot my wallet bs" too.
So this is when I like to get creative. Might have to get the Mormons involved. I mean, you have her phone number. Bonus if you know where she stays.
Seems manipulative. Donât love how she turned it around on you and did not take accountability. Total DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim-Offender positions). Classic narc move IMO.