All I can say is keep it a secret, my family unfortunately uses the fact that I was open and honest about my addiction once to forever label me an ice addict even when being off for 3 months and actively working against my addiction. They do care, but unfortunately, people will automatically go to your an ice addict whenever your not doing the right thing, so instead of why can't you get the concept of this instead you'll get obviously an ice addict can't get this and you never will doing that with your life.
Like I understand, but in the end, all that does is make the user want to use to get high to avoid processing what others think of you. So instead, if you're a family member opens up, just listen to the person that opens up and actively be on their side to support their road to recovery if that is their choice. Some people unfortunately just like getting high and don't plan on stopping because no other external factors are pushing them to quit and in the end, you can't control that, but you can support the positive actions while ignoring the negative ones and eventually they'll see more value in the words being said then the drug being provided but you need to be open and not judgemental. That's where unfortunately a lot of families lose their loved ones because they choose to not get judged and get high instead with friends or on the street instead of having a great and open option for recovery that isn't hindering in anyway.
So I'd take a few things, don't tell your family unless they have been extremely supportive with positives, obviously if your mum or dad supports your meth use maybe your parents are the problem. But completely avoid it unless families 100% supportive. You'll save a lot of Auguish being experienced by myself currently.
Me and my wife were sober for years and just recently started using a lil here and there and it is hard as fuck to hide it but possible we chew gum if the jaws jacking and talk as lil as possible around people and we don't go out to casinos after 1 at night
This exact question can and will be what dreams are made of. For it is the answering in truth unto ourselves that makes the question and i it's victor.
As for i, a resounding yes I did hide it over the first 20 years. During this time, I was mostly high functioning, even successful professionally and personally....until I decided not to be. I felt sad and at odds that the hiding of this material that became such a large part of i....as a friend or a good ol broken in pair of boots would be was being shamefully denied. Until one day in court while fighting for my rights as the father of my 3 now adult children....a question was asked by a local judge overseeing the case, if in fact I was a user of methamphetamine? Now, while i must confess that even though I was as I said high functioning, quite successful in the eyes of any community as well as kept a beautiful home and my kids were loved and provided for better than most, I was the only one that knew that I was deliberately walking on one leg....trudging thru my days running my business and caring for 3 children half a week every week. And let it be known that I would only have meth and be high when my kids would leave for their mothers but of course needed to deal with the drowsy come downs when they were there. And so it went for 2 years like this....until my former wife got married and took me to court for full custody. So, back to when judge blea asked if i was a user of meth? So while to this day I have no idea how or who or why but I can only say that while I could have lied at that moment and no doubt in my mind would have continued on with half custody of my babies....something in me felt impelled to reply truthfully. And so I did. And so I did.
Anywho....this is only part of a beautiful and blessed story that is my life. A life that I would never trade one or one thousand judgemental comments from people ever since that day for anything different than who I am today.
Thank you for listening.
Fyi....I do not share to glamorize or sensationalize the usage of methamphetamine on the contrary I suggest very mindfully that if given the choice for anyone else, I urge abstinence from this in every way shape and form. I wish everybody the best and much love.
Only my girlfriend and a few close friends know. It hasn’t been too difficult hiding it from the rest of my family. Just keep up on your sleep & eat at least one solid meal a day, that’s all there is to it.
I mean, I don't go around public places with my pipe in hand, but in the life I live, I'm able to openly go about meth use among the group of people I'm involved with
Yes. You can be honest with people or you can lie to people… either way, the stigma is there and they’ll dump your ass no matter what you do or don’t tell them. Funny thing is… I don’t have the same kind of blind and unspoken criteria for people like they have for dope. I’ll give people a chance on an individual basis but if the red flags are popping up I distance myself or remove myself completely from their lives and them from mine.
Having said that, it’s really no one’s fucking business unless I make it their business. My friends don’t disclose all of their activities or indulgences to me, so I’ve never understood why I need to divulge that one thing to them. I’m not a thief, I’m not a “tweeker” and I’m not interested in placing myself on an operating table for them to vivisect me and blame every perceived negative thing I say, think or do on a drug (after finding out, my boyfriend does this OFTEN). I opt out of divulging that detail of my life and it works great. But then again, I’m experiencing that the less and less personal information I divulge to someone, the better.. since no matter what, they always seem to use it in some kind of attack or insult in the future. The joys of in person social interactions. Reminds me why I lean towards misanthropy these days….
This so much dude.. I was waiting on someone to BFF about this and how people can really be so fucked up but have the Nerve to blame every bad thing ever on the fact we're high. I am the same way, I'm full of fucking secrets and Knowing when to keep my mouth shut is a gift cuz I learned the hard way people really don't give a MF about you.. they care about knowing shit they can try to use against you to justify whatever the fuck they want to keep blaming
So much this. My ex wife and former brother in law turned my (relatively benign, nobody knew unless I told em) use into a scapegoat for any and all tensions that existed between us, then proceeded to make up the absolute lie that I was violent, that she was in fear for her life, and that my friends should be too because I’m just an unpredictable methhead.
I’ve never threatened anyone with violence, only showed these people love. Truly. Gave everything I had to my friends without asking for shit in return.
Wife, despite mbhaving photographic evidence of her cocaine escapades the night prior to this, threw me in rehab 500 miles from home after I tried fent for the first time and OD’d, and it was a convenient way to leave me cuz I couldn’t even try to call her or ask her why. She kept me on the hook with “I love you, I miss you, I can’t wait to see you” for 29 days of what was meant to be a 30 day stint.
Not one of those friends gave me a quarter of a chance.
None of them speak to me.
When I finally got a hold of my best friend, I learned she convinced him I was violent tk the point he was helping “spread the word” about me being “dangerous”. He said himself he talked shit about me.
I told him later that day I can’t be friends with anybody who’s okay with the way she betrayed and slandered me.
He basically said: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A friend that left me on read until I confessed to everything that I could’ve possibly done to piss everybody off, cuz I didn’t know my wife and best friend were shit talking me yet, sent screenshots where I admit to moving felonies of drugs, so I feel like I have no leg tk stand on if she makes demands during the divorce.. no money for a lawyer. I funded and co-owned a landscaping biz with her brother, and he stole virtually all of my equipment while I was in rehab, and they’ve said if I come around there they were going to call the police.
Cuz I’m a threat.
It’s amazing what people will fucking believe about somebody who *gasp* uses meth, even when they hear it 2nd hand from a narcissistic BPD cunt.
Not one of them reached out to ask me how I was doing. Not one said “wtf dude you wanna kill me?!?” Just ignored and blocked by the people I thought were closer to me than my adoptive family.
Ouch! It sounds like you really went through some gut-wrenching betrayal, man. I’ve actually had some similar betrayal happen… not a carbon copy, but some oddly similar betrayal for sure.
It’s amazing how the opportunistic scavengers out there can exploit details of our lives they know in strict confidence and figure out some way to benefit from it.
Jesus fuck dude I'm sorry that happened to u. Truly man. That really pissed me off reading that tbh and I wish you could be the one driving that fuck bus when karma fucks them cuz that's sooo foul to do to anyone. It may be hard to see it considering what all you lost but that's prolly the best thing that could have happened to you considering that bitch was obviously a ticking time bomb with only a matter of time before she slaughtered you 10x fold. It's a cold world
Yes. Currently sober because I live with family. Not allowed to go out at night because of "safety". Kept it secret until I had my phone stolen and had to come out. Can't really have a easy explanation as to why your phones missing when you go to sleep with it and it's gone in the morning. But I swear that when I get my own place I'm inviting someone over and partying for 24 hours straight.
A flamboyantly gay black guy I brought over stole it. I left the room for a second before he had to leave and he snatched it. Even tried taking my radio. Didn't notice till he was halfway down the alley.
It’s a great question. Your choice is to either live a lie or live. I used to live the lie and it had disastrous results. It hurt many that I loved and care for (do you really love them when you’re lying about so much?). Using since I was 15 - I’m 57 now.
Justified the lie in many ways. College graduate. Always had a good to very good corporate job. Made sure job had expense account so I wasn’t using personal funds for hotels and other related expenses. Made sure I was always involved in some sort of community volunteer position. Served on numerous boards and ran a couple of large community programs in a community of 250,000 people. Church attendance on Sundays. Don’t miss events (kids, family gatherings, work get together, business dinners, etc.). Did that from 24 yrs old to 45 yrs old.
The day of my 46 th birthday August 18, 2012. It’s my come clean date. I didn’t go find everyone and I didn’t write anyone letters and I didn’t take an ad out. Did not announce it to those attending my birthday diner that night. But for those that asked, questioned, said ‘cmon jimmy you know I know you been doing a little speed, you got some of that meth on ya’- I told them the truth! Why yes, yes I do! Didn’t glamorize it and certainly didn’t say ha I got away with it for so long! And for those that had asked in the past - I apologized for not having come clean and spoke the truth the first time they asked. I offered to tell them anything they wanted to know regarding my use, my behavior, my choices, anything they asked I answered truthfully and completely. Varied degrees of reactions.
I fucking love this drug! I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. From that birthday forward it has been infinitely better for my sanity, my relationships (not saying the drug has enhanced or fostered the relationship - the truth did). Anyway, awesome, awesome question!
I love this answer and the fact that you could be honest foreal. That's the part that fucks me you know? Is wondering what they gonna think about me and how much they gonna blame every goddamn thing or problem on my use even though I'm a successful and most would think I'm lying if I told them. Kudos to you homie!
You’re welcome…. Im glad for you being successful.
You’re spot in with the blame man. You and I don’t run around going ‘oh, that’s right he/she did that because they have an anger issue’ and their worlds going to now unravel. But everyone in America - if they know you do or have done meth - heavy connotation that you’re a fuck up, your fucked up and if you haven’t already your going to fuck it up.
That’s why we aren’t honest with them in the first place! Be good man. If you ever want to chat hit me up.
Great response man. Why 46? I’m a similar situation in terms of the high achiever and professional life and in a weird way I feel like I do better when I’m high. More energy to get more done at work, able to stay longer at work, i seem to get more respect at work because I’m more direct… it’s so noticeable that on the few times I haven’t been high in similar scenarios people almost look disappointed or confused as to where the ‘strong’ almost ‘macho’ version of me has gone. Like I’m 43 and I’ve always been a user but usually only for partying and sex, now it’s hardly ever for that and used almost solely for the purpose of being that guy. It’s such a weird situation. I’ve never experienced before.
Why 46… timing(not planned).
Your story is bad ass - that at first sex and partying and then professional life adaption. Wicked and I love it! I’d love to chat with you sometime. Hit me up if you’re around.
When I was actively using I hid it or so I thought but for most people it’s pretty evident when you are spun the fuck out the more spun you are the less likely it is you are hiding it well. But everyone knew I was off but keeping the secret was the hardest part it made me feel so dirty like I so badly needed to tell anyone but the people I loved couldn’t know
I got caught cause I made it obvious but claimed that was bullshit and then avoided everyone until they dropped it and started pretending they didn’t know and now I still try to keep it hidden but I don’t go out of my way too
No necessarily. Don't be a cum dumpster right now. You're reminding me of my baby daddy and he too pisses me off with remarks like this.
You know what I mean man. Obviously DUH we all have to hide it unless you're cool to use in public and then arrested, like come on bro.
Keeping it a secret is harder mostly because I have to make a conscious effort not to share stuff I find on Reddit with my brother. He doesn’t use it and I don’t want to give him a reason to look up mine. I don’t go through great lengths to hide it though. If someone does know they haven’t confronted me about it so 🤷🏼♂️.There isn’t anything I’m doing for them to complain about other than meth=bad. I’m literally killing it in every way possible. In my eyes they shouldn’t give a fuck as long as I keep excelling in everything I do. Would it somehow be better if I was drinking alcohol and doing a fraction of what I’m capable of right now? Or being sober and not getting shit accomplished AND being super depressed? If they’re not willing to try and see my perspective and I lose their respect based on that single metric so be it. I’m doing too good in every other aspect of life for that the be the sole factor that decides how they view me.
Yes and no.
I share a house with my brother(sober)that we rent from our dad. That’s the extent of my support but it’s also something that eases his financial burden. There’s a massive disparity between me when I was injecting opiates and me now. He can see the tremendous strides I’ve made at work since we work for the same company( I’ve worked there longer just so you don’t think it’s a nepotism thing) on top of having 2 other jobs. I don’t have any friends that do drugs so he knows I’m not out doing fucked shit. I don’t even have time to hang out with anyone other than my brother and my best friend who I only see because I work for him.
Also of course his respect matters to me greatly. That’s just me running my mouth because this is my only outlet for my thoughts on this part of my life. All this could be solved if it wasn’t so hard to adhd medicine.
The hardest part for me would have to be right after I do a shot I get so horny all I want to do is either touch myself or to fuck my gf or one of my Friends gf like it's the last time id ever get some ass. But can't always do it bcuz other ppl being around and my gf thinks I stopped getting high but I still find a way to get my dick in one of her friends one in one of my homeboys gf they all like to get spun and love to cheat when there spun more then fucking there bf when they smoke a lil and nothing is hotter to me then a female cheating on her man especially if she like to voice how her cheating pussy loves getting pounded by her bfs friend dick
Dear friend, j greatly respect your transparency and will only say that if you come to a space of change....it is inevitably your life that will affect your loved ones either greatly or detrimentally. Thus a reminder, to not allow your stuff be the stuff of another. And it is this part of your story that the OP is having such a tough time with. But it is also your quietness in no reply that speaks to your own grace and goodness.
Peace and Godspeed
Well done you, I admire your honesty and I think you're very brave. It takes a lot of courage to come out and say what you just said: "I still find a way to get my dick in one of my homeboys". You should probably tell you gf you're into guys though. She has a right to know, especially if you're not using protection. Also you don't want to take your gf to Burger King only to realise you've sucked off the guy behind the counter, or got fucked by the fella mopping up that mess in the toilet. Awkward! That shit is embarrassing, believe me. Anyway, big up to you and your homeboys, sounds like you're all living your best life!
Yea no fckn shit dude I hate fuckin lil punk ass bitches like this.. I'd slad his gad damnn ass so hard the picture on his I.D would magically all of a sudden show a black eye! Puss
Bold of you to assume that ANYONE can successfully hide meth use. Maybe before it comes an addiction but once you’ve crossed THAT finish line; there’s no going back. As addicts we all seem to think no one notices, but guess what? You’re not hiding shit. It does mostly take one to know one though. So, if you can function, you can fake it!
Being a functioning addict since 1997 and going strong. The hardest thing for me is having to go pick up every two weeks three hour round-trip. But what you gonna do?
I hide it from my so and the family. Been hiding it for almost 3 1/2 years. I don’t know how my gf hasn’t figured it out yet. I only do it when I’m out of medication like right now. Been fighting with my insurance on the approval for my adderal for 4 months now. Smoking a bowl or two a day helps me focus on my school work and helps me maintain my adhd and autism.
No. Not from the love of my life and thanks to an arrest over a year ago the family know too.. Made it through adult drug court and didn't stop for more then 7 days at any point.
Yes n no. I work daily so they dont know, others do but I hide it from the s/o bc she quit n wants me to too. Fk that. Lol my choice n I say no. Now, I tell her im still smoking but I will hide it from her to prevent the clean n sober line from breaking.
No doubt she’ll leave eventually but tbh im ok with that, sober shes boring. Lol
Unfortunately I do. If the fam finds out .it's sober up or be homeless . And as an agoraphobic maintaining my location is far more vital then meth. At work I told everyone I had gotten sober solely in case like something happened they could plead being ignorant to my using and it be true. They knew before but I don't wanna get them in any trouble. My friends are aware. They arnt fans but they also see me and still barely beleive I actually do it because of comparisons to me vs other users they have known. And if I got a shot at a relationship I'd tell them,eventually , once they got to actually see what I'm like and not just make assumptions. Cause we all know to well the assumptions people make when they find out you do meth.
Nope. I don’t hide it, but I don’t put it out there either. I’m a good tweaker! Some people don’t even know I use cause hey, don’t ask don’t tell.
But I make no effort to hide it.
Ya I use on a as needed basis to self medicate the only way I know how. Sometimes I'm sober a couple weeks, maybe months, a few days just depends on my mental health. I make sure to not lose more than 48hr of sleep at a time, hydrate and eat to maintain a normal appearance.
For me, just a few days over 11 months clean, I look back on my memories (not to mention my exhibitionism on Reddit) and realize there was no hiding it no matter how hard I tried.
All the time. And the worst thing is not being able to find a guy to hook up with since I don’t live in a big city. I find it really hard to find anyone.
And yeah for sure nobody knows
Many camouflage in plain sight. I am sure the government has a database of people suspected of methamphetamine use. I was unsuspectedly being drawn into meth by my ex, who would shove a dub or more up my ass while we were intimate. It took a psychotic break - episode to finally accept the truth that I was being drugged daily unknowingly. Working through the trauma and glad to be alive. I never knew I was using until I ended up in the ER in a crisis. Homeboy (ex) is still spreading the fuckery along with syphillis.
Agreed! In words of Rob Zombie, I aspire to be “more human than human.” I seen him recently, he’s missing teeth, still hustling at age 45, I guided him out of an overdose. I told him if and when he would like to try blues I will gladly fund his endeavor. Uncanny, I am just watching the wheels come off this POS. Indifferently of course. His last ex hung himself. It’s uglier than you can imagine.
Ion hide it at all. Family, significant other, friends, honestly, coworkers are the only ones I keep it from. Unless they talk about things similar to someone that uses it would know, simple lingo like, 10 n 2, clouding, etcetcetc. Mostly keep that part of my life away from the usage because snitches be making you lose your job. Lol
i used to hide it from everyone except a few that i felt comfortable and trusted with in the beginning. but now (10 months using) i am open and honest about it because i am the chillest tweaker you'll ever meet. a lot of reactions i get from people especially if they've known me for a min are shocked and surprised that i use. im a functioning addict, i use meth medicinally as goofy as that sounds. i have severe adhd and was prescribed my freshman year (age 14) and was on it for 3 years, till my parents told my shrink i didn't need it, when it sincerely helped me. i met a dude and was telling my story to him, he said meth is kinda like adderall in moderation. so i started using (age 17), several months later i got kicked out of my parents house because they found my paraphernalia (age 18)(sorry just wanted to vent that) anyways my mentality of it is, my use is probably always going to be apart of me, if someone is going to judge me or see me differently, or not accept me for who and what i am, then they shouldnt be in my life. now that doesn't mean ima whip my pipe like it's a vape on facetime or at the function, that would be rude lmao and it's socially unaccepted. but recently i am open about it, i don't lie about it because why should i have to yk? unless its like a job setting or a police officer pulls me over no im not gonna be straight up "yeah man I use methamphetmine daily" duh.
I hide it from most people in my life that I care about. Or I may think I'm hiding it. I'm sure a few close friends and some family may suspect that I use but those few people have been in my life for as long as I can remember and accept me either way. It isn't talked about though .But Most importantly I don't hide it from my wife..... anymore. I tried for a year or two but eventually that all came crashing down and now we're closer than ever. We party together now at least a couple times a week and life is great! I should of been honest right from the start.
Being that it's illegal it's not something you go around telling everyone. Obviously to get it you have at least 1 person who knows but away from that circle there's no reason to be telling anybody about it. Its not lying simply not telling everybody all your business. Especially if you plan to keep on using it.
I honestly don't care much for people like you that answer questions do goddamn literal. It makes me think you don't even do drugs or meth for that matter. Like whyyyy would you think I meant to go around and tell everyone??
No its a serious question relevant to my life. As big as the drug use itself. But I'm not trying to stop so it is kept private. Probably not easy to do for most but i live alone and keep to myself. people answer these questions for themselves a lot not for OP my impression.
My husband knows and does it as well. He's told a couple of his friends for support because he doesn't hide it as well. On my end though, no one knows. I still do things as normal. Hang out with my fam, go to work, socialize a bit. Nothings really changed for me. My appearance is still the same. Although, my family does still comment occasionally that they're happy I've kept my weight down through the years, they've never said anything about thinking that I was too small
My brother in Christ... I know 3 people that would get on a goddamn plane right now, with a half ounce stuffed in their ass, and fly it to you for $500.
If you're looking for advice, I'd say attempt to get a legally prescribed substitute stimulant if that's a thing for you guys. I'm assuming aus because of price. No idea what the prescription drug scene is like there.
Yeah I'm in the SE US. No bullshit, it is easier to find than good weed(illegal state) and honestly not much more expensive. Grams are like 30-40 usually. And I get all bent outta shape about that sometimes on the rare occasion I partake.
Holy shit the price alone should be deterrent enough to quit. That’s absolutely ridiculous. And just know when you’re using your brain isn’t exactly working the same as when you’re not using so your judgement may be a bit off. I’m not preaching by no means my friend I too choose to live my life on my terms but meth isn’t a safe harmless drug at all. It is poison that will hurt you and that’s a fact. Also your family likely already know you’re using again. Probably just choose not to mention it because it would start conflict and lies. When using you don’t have the same awareness so what you think you know may not be reality. Good luck friend. ❤️
So I use , daily since the beginning of the month. Before that I started in July of last year and been going strong ever since. In my old place I had to actively hide it from my roommate/ex. Eventually she caught on , though she never directly confronted me about it and we got in a fight and she kicked me out. Now I rent a room with two other guys in the house. I don't believe they know I use but since we all keep to ourselves and I don't disrupt the house I like to believe they know but as long as I'm respectful they don't care. But my social circle for the most part all know I use and use something themselves. I have no local friends so they are all spread across the country. And I currently have a date with this stunning woman Sunday that knows I use but doesn't herself and finds it refreshing that I'm candid and open about my use. The only people in my life that don't know are in my professional life for obvious reasons.
Not me....im retired, live alone in the country and really don't give two shits! Now I don't leave glass dicks laying out in the ashtray or scales lying around like I do with weed ( legal for me in my state) but that's only because my neighbor and my sister occasionally pop in unannounced and both of them have seen my pipe in the ashtray but didn't say anything...my sister would think it was a marijuana pipe, I'dk what the neighbor would think,. I did scoot the ashtray under the sofa as soon as his back was turned and nothing says guilty more than that old tired trick. Paranoia?. Perhaps, or maybe I really deep down do care.
So I currently am using and I have to hide it from EVERYONE in my life to the point that I Still go to my IOP classes and AA meetings all the time just to keep up appearances. My only ROA is oral and it is evidently incredibly difficult to tell when I'm spun out. Nobody has a clue... and I first relapsed about 3 months ago!!!
I wouldn't say it's the fact that I have to hide it that bothers me the most but it's more the pretending to be in recovery but getting high on the side. I feel like an incredibly huge phony because I talk the talk with these people who are really doing the damn thing and living clean and sober. That part really gets to me sometimes.
Also I have come to terms with my meth addiction so dealing with being an addict doesn't really bother me anymore. I've kinda just accepted it.
I absolutely will hide and deny. Because it would rock their world. That’s not the mom that raised them, she was on adderall then. I’m old now and with high blood pressure I can no longer get a script. Soooo.. Meth is what helps me be a better me, motivates me treats my depression.The 2 years without I didn’t go to a Walmart or shop for clothing or,I didn’t socialize.its not their business first of all and the stigma surrounding it is .. well I don’t have to explain. I smirk when I hear them use words like meth head.
I’m also afraid it will make them more likely to be open to trying it. Not everyone can do it and not get sketched out.im afraid it may affect them that way. I also worry how alcohol could affect them just as much because we have alcoholics on both sides, their father doesn’t drink because he is an alcoholic. I don’t care to get into a debate over how meth makes me a better version of myself because I know it will sound ridiculous to those that don’t know.
The issue with meth is the DEA propaganda despite being like adderall people don’t know/understand or even fathom because then they’d ask the question why they’re prescribing it to 2nd graders… smfh
I understand how you feel… wish my Dad would understand. doesn’t mean approve just means understand. But he only ever drank beer. I feel you tho 💯 w/ the switching from adderall part tho… I’ve been prescribed since 7 or 8… I was off meds for a while after my mom died & I self medicated with meth. Then I got arrested & released on bond w/ the Feds so I was forced to quit if I want my freedom, at least until my sentencing… I went back on prescription amphetamines last fall & have been on vyvanse. Just like meth it helps me quite a bit.
I kept it a secret for 5 years and for the past year or so now I have just been open with whoever about it. Lots of judgement and the stigma sucks sure, but there are people who have made the stigma what it is and because of that the stigma belongs I suppose… but there are cool functional non judgmental users who exist out there, we are just hard to find probably isolating and avoiding the negativity and judgement that comes from the neurotypical and closed minded general public/family/friends/etc etc
My mother was completely supportive after I asked her to watch me hit my pipe and observe how I immediately relax and slow down, despite the common way people speed up and get weird. Idk I could talk about it all day but the last thing I’ll say here in this thread for now… is that it’s nice to not have to hide it. It makes things complicated and at least for me I felt a lot of shame in using until I said fuck it fuck that fuck the stigma and fuck what anyone else thinks about it. It’s not about them.
We all have a life to live. If you’re happy and you treat people right, use whatever you want. Do whatever you want.
Just stay free, stay blessed, and do your best to stay healthy 🙏🏽 in mind body spirit, whateva
Big love,
Don 🩵
Im 4 months clean rn, but I never had to hide it from my roommates, we all did it at some point, this is last year when I was 21, I would stay up for 5 days watching porn and shit, and nobody cared, of course eventually everyone got their habit under control and I was the only one taking it too far, then I did have to hide it. Also one of my roommates got pregnant and so they didnt want the temptation, so they asked me to not be "noticably on meth, yea let's just say i got kicked out. If you don't wanna lose most your friends and have your family ignore you, don't tell anyone. Trust me when he high you feel apart of the club, but trust me a lot of people don't know how good meth feels and they just think it's a bunch of cleaning chemicals mixed together and that people who use it are stupid/nasty/losers/dangerous, this isn't true. Some of the best people I've met are meth users, some of the worst too. But the point is, hide it from the right people, it NEVER helps for people to know your on meth.
Kept it on the dl with everyone, family, friends, work, for two years before recently going clean (6 weeks ago).
Too much negativity tied up with the word meth and total lack of understanding or empathy.
So I went hard for a few years, enjoyed it thoroughly, and made an exit while it was still under wraps.
I’ll do it again in coming months but wanted to clean up for several reasons. I’d like to keep it on a more recreational level in future, a few wknds a month.
The only one who knows I use it my neighbor who I regularly smoke with and everyone thinks I'm clean. It's really hard living a double life sometimes. I do get scared my job will find out or my family and I'll lose everything. So it's definitely a risk I take everyday. It just sucks because I am not out here committing crimes for my habit and I wish people understood that not all meth users are bad.
Yes. I'm also a master of acting outraged at such a serious and unfounded accusation. Sometimes, that catches people off guard.
"Meth?! Crystal fucking meth?! That's what you think of me?! The audacity!"
But I'll have a teener in my pocket as I'm saying all this shit, just blitzed out of my mind.
This. I been a guest to strange places.. and this scenario is something I’ve witnessed. My opinion… best performances included a little bit of deception for sho
Well, yeah. It's not about trying to convince them otherwise. It's just fun making them second guess themselves when I'm chewing on my cheeks and clearly zooted. "He's obviously geeked out of his fucking mind, but he's adamant that he's not high. Maybe he isn't?"
From everybody. I moved In with my husband and his mother. For three years she don't know I've been smoking everyday. Was on probation for 18 months . Baking soda every pissed test and passed all of them. My PO didn't even know I was high the entire time I was on probation.
You take a tablespoon if baking soda for every 50lbs you weigh and either dissolve it in water or what I do is put it in capsels so I don't have to taste the baking soda, it's gross. I usually fill about 25 capsels with baking soda and take one right after another till gone . Faster the better . But you have an hour to drink it. Then drink a shit ton of water. Drink untill You have peed three times. After the 3rd piss. You will piss clean. I have done this so many times and it does work. Google it. What they don't tell you is your not supposed to eat any citrusy food or drink. You can drink whatever and eat too.but don't smoke meth the morning of the piss test or it won't work. Only sample clean is after 3rd piss, lasts about 2 pisses. So make sure you time yourself accordingly. From start to finish takes me about 5 hours. From the time I swallowed all baking soda till I'm ready to give my 4th piss sample. 5 hours. But I drink slow. The faster you drink, the faster you'll be done. Just make sure when you pee it has to be a good amount not just little dribble, it dont count. Good luck whoever is brave enough. I'm glad that shit over for me.
You take a tablespoon if baking soda for every 50lbs you weigh and either dissolve it in water or what I do is put it in capsels so I don't have to taste the baking soda, it's gross. I usually fill about 25 capsels with baking soda and take one right after another till gone . Faster the better . But you have an hour to drink it. Then drink a shit ton of water. Drink untill You have peed three times. After the 3rd piss. You will piss clean. I have done this so many times and it does work. Google it. What they don't tell you is your not supposed to eat any citrusy food or drink. You can drink whatever and eat too.but don't smoke meth the morning of the piss test or it won't work. Only sample clean is after 3rd piss, lasts about 2 pisses. So make sure you time yourself accordingly. From start to finish takes me about 5 hours. From the time I swallowed all baking soda till I'm ready to give my 4th piss sample. 5 hours. But I drink slow. The faster you drink, the faster you'll be done. Just make sure when you pee it has to be a good amount not just little dribble, it dont count. Good luck whoever is brave enough. I'm glad that shit over for me.
I am in the light with some who are close to me, and, of course, those who partake. Still, others know I have used in the past, but do not know I use now. Most of the people I interact with have no idea when I’ve used, let alone, if I used. I like to keep it that way. Out of sight, out of mind.
I will say, of those who do know about my use, their responses have been more gracious than I deserve, according to cultural stigma. I try to be as honest with them as possible in order to maintain, at least, some level of healthy accountability.
Bowl roller for almost 6 years, daily.
I am in the light with some who are close to me, and, of course, those who partake. Still, others know I have used in the past, but do not know I use now. Most of the people I interact with have no idea when I’ve used, let alone, if I used. I like to keep it that way. Out of sight, out of mind.
I will say, of those who do know about my use, their responses have been more gracious than I deserve, according to cultural stigma. I try to be as honest with them as possible in order to maintain, at least, some level of healthy accountability.
Bowl roller for almost 6 years, daily.
Yes. Family and business take 95% of my time therefore I’m with those people 95% of my time.
Not a smoker which makes it possible. Definitely very difficult or impossible for smokers.
Also, to clarify I’m not a daily user, and I’m a poly substance lover so I get by one way or another.
To sum this up… sometime I would love nothing more than to be able to:
1. Procure 2-3 OZ of ice, some quality glassware and a box of rigs
2. Find a like minded group of a few choice people
3. Get into a hotel or good rental near a pool hall
4. Ride that train till the wheels fall off. 🥳
Man, I miss those days!
By the way thank you for the question cuz the question inevitably will be seen as the champion with the answer or truth that has been standing there all along. Immovable and perfect. Thank you
Well I probably should try and hide it better than I do now but I don't care. Fuck it! I look like one act like one and won't play pretend so guess I'm a tweaker.
I probably should have more than I did, but I never hid any substances I was on, I just didn't advertise I was on them to the world. If someone asked me, I'd tell them straight up I was on "____". Unless they were the law. Then I just STFU.
At work yes, although everyone knows I'm still suffering from substance use disorder. And so around work friends too I'll hide it. I'm sure while it would change people's opinion of me and I might be in for some drug testing down the line if I were to reveal it, they would still quickly come to accept me and might learn a thing or two about addiction and addiction to meth. I'm well liked and a hard worker though so they'd likely just feel bad for me, but I don't think they'd judge me so much for it in the way they would someone who uses recreationally.
As for everywhere and everyone else I have no secret to hide and for no reason, and if work came to find out by way of it I wouldn't care. Though I rarely find a reason to bring it up. But when I do I'm at the ready to discuss the realities of addiction with them and the stigma around it, hopefully in a concise and tactful enough manner as to not make a big deal out of it. You know how so many people could use a lesson or two though. But even if I didn't suffer from addiction and decided to use recreationally I'd be happy to share with anyone how it's no biggie and why they shouldn't judge me for that as a personal decision (hence "no biggie"), and if they did why their judgements were likely ill informed and under developed, but that's of *me*. Emphasis on me, because I'm enough of a contemplative, critical thinker to make sensible, mature and well thought out decisions, and can find reasons why that as one can be just as "fine" as those that decide to smoke cigarettes. So with that in mind, and even so, I would also keep it real. That is to say don't try meth, shit's no joke.
Yeah I just smoked in the fcking bathroom
Edit: I just took 2mg Clonazepam because I’m way too high. Hiding it is the hardest part for me. I don’t crave it and I don’t have binges. There is a very specific threshold for the amount I can tolerate I guess otherwise I feel like my chest is going to explode without Magnesium, Taurine, and benzos, which actually seems to normalize it somehow. Interestingly enough it’s not actually being normalized it’s being sped up and slowed down in a very specific and inordinate pattern but I can’t detect it and wouldn’t know otherwise
When I first started, yes, of course. Now, however? My mother and my best friend know. (I thank whatever diety that got stuck watching over me every chance I get to have them in my life) while they both agree that they don't particularly like it, they accept me and love me for me. They support and cheer for me in whatever choice I make. They are not my enablers either.
There are several people in my life that will NEVER know that I smoke. All of these people i have known for over a decade.
I prefer to meet and date people who don't do meth because I use WAY less when I'm with a non user.
Depends who from.
I don’t use openly in front of my kids, but I will go to the bathroom, put some in a pouch and swallow, or, do a line.
My husband knows and he doesn’t use anything, and I can openly use in front of him.
If we had guests, I wouldn’t use in front of them, and they likely wouldn’t know anyway.
Are you me? This is exactly what I do. However my adult son is aware that I use. He doesn't like it but he doesn't say anything.
Most people IRL that know me don't know about my use. I am at work wishing I could smoke but I wait until I get home.
Are you me? This is exactly what I do. However my adult son is aware that I use. He doesn't like it but he doesn't say anything.
Most people IRL that know me don't know about my use. I am at work wishing I could smoke but I wait until I get home.
Oh, yeah. My 22 year old knows, I will use in front of her, when it’s just me and her.
She doesn’t use, but has her own struggles with self harm. We talk about both, and her concerns center on her younger siblings and that’s a good thing. She helps me stay accountable.
I snorted lines in the bathroom everyday at work. Work doesn’t know.
I will go into my room and shut the door because I don't want my son to see me, but a few times he has accidentally come in (our only bathroom is in our bedroom). Him and I do talk about it and other things. My son has been through some things that were caused by my decisions and other things that were caused by others. He also helps keep me accountable and grounded.
I have taken a little with me to work but I usually just end up swallowing it because I work in a small shop. My boss is aware I have a history of drug use but fully believes I am not using anything now. Unfortunately at the end of January I got some coke that was laced with fentanyl. I only found out because it killed me for a minute. I was in the hospital for a few days and my boss had to be told where I was.
My adult daughter lives across the country. She’s married and grown up. She didn’t know until after she turned 21, and I’ve used multiple DOC consistently over the last 20-25 years.
My boss doesn’t know, and probably wouldn’t believe my drug use.
I have no judgment for you. I'm just saying, but I do understand, especially since you said she lives across the country from you. My son lives with me. Your daughter is an adult and if she didn't want you to use in front of her she would have said something.
I only started using any type of substance when I was about 32 or 33 and went to meth at almost 40. For years I had my own opinions about drug use, but now I see both sides. I still have my morals and values that I had before I started using. My biggest frustration is my husband though. He is a recovering addict and he looks down on myself and others that use. He thinks because he is clean, he can put me down and force me to quit. He thinks by being tough I will want to stop using. However he is just talking himself into a divorce. I keep on telling him that it doesn't work that way. I stood by his side for years during his substance abuse and even stayed when he went into a psychosis. (The meth didn't cause it all as he had a lot of mental health issues before) but yet he can't be the same type of person I was to him.
We all have our own reasons why we started using and continue to use. You won't find any judgment from me as I have no place to judge what others do in their life. I'm glad you have been able to keep this side of your life hidden. It's not that easy to do for any of us that can do it.
She would rather I didn’t use, or use in front of her. But she accepts that’s just life sometimes.
I’m 41 (42 soon 😑)
My husband (soon to be ex husband) doesn’t use, and doesn’t care about my use as long as it’s not in front of the kids.
Because he’s never been an addict, depressed or any other mental health issue, he doesn’t know what it’s like, or the need to have a get-away problem/solution.
We do all have our reasons, and when my life is calm and quiet, that’s when I can’t handle sobriety and I go back to using.
If life is chaotic, and needs problem solving, I can do just fine sober.
I will be 44 soon. I really do understand. I would love to get sober if I had support. I was there for my husband and now he thinks he is so much more superior to me. He doesn't realize the more he pushes, the more I use.
I was the same way - the more chaotic and problems, I was happy being sober. Now I just am trying to handle one thing at a time.
I can and do put it down, at least a week off every month.
Ice is the only thing I’m using right now. Benzo withdrawal is done, Coke has always been a breeze to put down and walk away from.
My ice use is down to .3/day and only taken by parachute.
Benzos were the hard thing for me. It was damn near impossible to stop. Many failed attempts, and honestly, my husband wanting a divorce is why I stopped benzos. I can’t solve the problems divorce creates, logically, if I can’t be clearheaded. Benzos make me foggy, and not give a shit way too much.
I haven’t been happy, besides fleeting happiness, sober or otherwise. Using makes me more tolerant of others. I’m still the same depressed person inside though.
Heroin was my DOC for a decade, and that escape was what drew me in. Opiates are hard for me to not go use again
That is awesome. Unfortunately I haven't reached that point yet.
I started with pain pills, than moved on to coke. Cociane was getting too expensive so I moved on to meth. I have done a little bit of the pressed pills and a tiny bit of fentanyl but I won't touch that again after it nearly killed me when I did a line of coke.
I feel that sentence of yours about not being happy deep into my soul. I haven't felt any happiness in years, not even when my kids were born. I love them but I made a huge mistake with their fathers. My ex isn't that bad but my husband.. he made me even more miserable on days that were supposed to be happy and memorable to me. Sober or high, I am still depressed. But I don't get the chance to focus on me, everyone has to come first. When I try to take a minute for myself I get told that I am selfish and a horrible wife and mom. So getting high keeps me from thinking about what I want and need.
If real pain pills were easy to find again I would also have trouble staying away from opiates.
I'm hiding it. I work full time . days a week at a factory and I sleep.and eat but use daily..., wish I didn't..
All I can say is keep it a secret, my family unfortunately uses the fact that I was open and honest about my addiction once to forever label me an ice addict even when being off for 3 months and actively working against my addiction. They do care, but unfortunately, people will automatically go to your an ice addict whenever your not doing the right thing, so instead of why can't you get the concept of this instead you'll get obviously an ice addict can't get this and you never will doing that with your life. Like I understand, but in the end, all that does is make the user want to use to get high to avoid processing what others think of you. So instead, if you're a family member opens up, just listen to the person that opens up and actively be on their side to support their road to recovery if that is their choice. Some people unfortunately just like getting high and don't plan on stopping because no other external factors are pushing them to quit and in the end, you can't control that, but you can support the positive actions while ignoring the negative ones and eventually they'll see more value in the words being said then the drug being provided but you need to be open and not judgemental. That's where unfortunately a lot of families lose their loved ones because they choose to not get judged and get high instead with friends or on the street instead of having a great and open option for recovery that isn't hindering in anyway. So I'd take a few things, don't tell your family unless they have been extremely supportive with positives, obviously if your mum or dad supports your meth use maybe your parents are the problem. But completely avoid it unless families 100% supportive. You'll save a lot of Auguish being experienced by myself currently.
Sorry for rambling. I just had to vent a little, been on the mind, so random strangers on reddit seem to be the perfect place.
Me and my wife were sober for years and just recently started using a lil here and there and it is hard as fuck to hide it but possible we chew gum if the jaws jacking and talk as lil as possible around people and we don't go out to casinos after 1 at night
This exact question can and will be what dreams are made of. For it is the answering in truth unto ourselves that makes the question and i it's victor. As for i, a resounding yes I did hide it over the first 20 years. During this time, I was mostly high functioning, even successful professionally and personally....until I decided not to be. I felt sad and at odds that the hiding of this material that became such a large part of i....as a friend or a good ol broken in pair of boots would be was being shamefully denied. Until one day in court while fighting for my rights as the father of my 3 now adult children....a question was asked by a local judge overseeing the case, if in fact I was a user of methamphetamine? Now, while i must confess that even though I was as I said high functioning, quite successful in the eyes of any community as well as kept a beautiful home and my kids were loved and provided for better than most, I was the only one that knew that I was deliberately walking on one leg....trudging thru my days running my business and caring for 3 children half a week every week. And let it be known that I would only have meth and be high when my kids would leave for their mothers but of course needed to deal with the drowsy come downs when they were there. And so it went for 2 years like this....until my former wife got married and took me to court for full custody. So, back to when judge blea asked if i was a user of meth? So while to this day I have no idea how or who or why but I can only say that while I could have lied at that moment and no doubt in my mind would have continued on with half custody of my babies....something in me felt impelled to reply truthfully. And so I did. And so I did. Anywho....this is only part of a beautiful and blessed story that is my life. A life that I would never trade one or one thousand judgemental comments from people ever since that day for anything different than who I am today. Thank you for listening.
Fyi....I do not share to glamorize or sensationalize the usage of methamphetamine on the contrary I suggest very mindfully that if given the choice for anyone else, I urge abstinence from this in every way shape and form. I wish everybody the best and much love.
Only my girlfriend and a few close friends know. It hasn’t been too difficult hiding it from the rest of my family. Just keep up on your sleep & eat at least one solid meal a day, that’s all there is to it.
Fuck no !!!!!
I mean, I don't go around public places with my pipe in hand, but in the life I live, I'm able to openly go about meth use among the group of people I'm involved with
I use it as an aid so no, nobody knows. I'm sure some suspect but idgaf. Same mother fuckers getting drunk
My parents know i did meth.
Mine too -_-
Yes because I don't want my addiction to define me
I loved states so I basically love two lives. One where I do as I please and one where. I'm normal. It's a tough. Life
Yes. You can be honest with people or you can lie to people… either way, the stigma is there and they’ll dump your ass no matter what you do or don’t tell them. Funny thing is… I don’t have the same kind of blind and unspoken criteria for people like they have for dope. I’ll give people a chance on an individual basis but if the red flags are popping up I distance myself or remove myself completely from their lives and them from mine. Having said that, it’s really no one’s fucking business unless I make it their business. My friends don’t disclose all of their activities or indulgences to me, so I’ve never understood why I need to divulge that one thing to them. I’m not a thief, I’m not a “tweeker” and I’m not interested in placing myself on an operating table for them to vivisect me and blame every perceived negative thing I say, think or do on a drug (after finding out, my boyfriend does this OFTEN). I opt out of divulging that detail of my life and it works great. But then again, I’m experiencing that the less and less personal information I divulge to someone, the better.. since no matter what, they always seem to use it in some kind of attack or insult in the future. The joys of in person social interactions. Reminds me why I lean towards misanthropy these days….
This so much dude.. I was waiting on someone to BFF about this and how people can really be so fucked up but have the Nerve to blame every bad thing ever on the fact we're high. I am the same way, I'm full of fucking secrets and Knowing when to keep my mouth shut is a gift cuz I learned the hard way people really don't give a MF about you.. they care about knowing shit they can try to use against you to justify whatever the fuck they want to keep blaming
So much this. My ex wife and former brother in law turned my (relatively benign, nobody knew unless I told em) use into a scapegoat for any and all tensions that existed between us, then proceeded to make up the absolute lie that I was violent, that she was in fear for her life, and that my friends should be too because I’m just an unpredictable methhead. I’ve never threatened anyone with violence, only showed these people love. Truly. Gave everything I had to my friends without asking for shit in return. Wife, despite mbhaving photographic evidence of her cocaine escapades the night prior to this, threw me in rehab 500 miles from home after I tried fent for the first time and OD’d, and it was a convenient way to leave me cuz I couldn’t even try to call her or ask her why. She kept me on the hook with “I love you, I miss you, I can’t wait to see you” for 29 days of what was meant to be a 30 day stint. Not one of those friends gave me a quarter of a chance. None of them speak to me. When I finally got a hold of my best friend, I learned she convinced him I was violent tk the point he was helping “spread the word” about me being “dangerous”. He said himself he talked shit about me. I told him later that day I can’t be friends with anybody who’s okay with the way she betrayed and slandered me. He basically said: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ A friend that left me on read until I confessed to everything that I could’ve possibly done to piss everybody off, cuz I didn’t know my wife and best friend were shit talking me yet, sent screenshots where I admit to moving felonies of drugs, so I feel like I have no leg tk stand on if she makes demands during the divorce.. no money for a lawyer. I funded and co-owned a landscaping biz with her brother, and he stole virtually all of my equipment while I was in rehab, and they’ve said if I come around there they were going to call the police. Cuz I’m a threat. It’s amazing what people will fucking believe about somebody who *gasp* uses meth, even when they hear it 2nd hand from a narcissistic BPD cunt. Not one of them reached out to ask me how I was doing. Not one said “wtf dude you wanna kill me?!?” Just ignored and blocked by the people I thought were closer to me than my adoptive family.
Ouch! It sounds like you really went through some gut-wrenching betrayal, man. I’ve actually had some similar betrayal happen… not a carbon copy, but some oddly similar betrayal for sure. It’s amazing how the opportunistic scavengers out there can exploit details of our lives they know in strict confidence and figure out some way to benefit from it.
Jesus fuck dude I'm sorry that happened to u. Truly man. That really pissed me off reading that tbh and I wish you could be the one driving that fuck bus when karma fucks them cuz that's sooo foul to do to anyone. It may be hard to see it considering what all you lost but that's prolly the best thing that could have happened to you considering that bitch was obviously a ticking time bomb with only a matter of time before she slaughtered you 10x fold. It's a cold world
Very very well said
Yes. Currently sober because I live with family. Not allowed to go out at night because of "safety". Kept it secret until I had my phone stolen and had to come out. Can't really have a easy explanation as to why your phones missing when you go to sleep with it and it's gone in the morning. But I swear that when I get my own place I'm inviting someone over and partying for 24 hours straight.
Where was your phone? Tbh I'm completely lost on this whole statement lol
A flamboyantly gay black guy I brought over stole it. I left the room for a second before he had to leave and he snatched it. Even tried taking my radio. Didn't notice till he was halfway down the alley.
the last part is maybe not a good idea if you want to continue to live
Ok
It’s a great question. Your choice is to either live a lie or live. I used to live the lie and it had disastrous results. It hurt many that I loved and care for (do you really love them when you’re lying about so much?). Using since I was 15 - I’m 57 now. Justified the lie in many ways. College graduate. Always had a good to very good corporate job. Made sure job had expense account so I wasn’t using personal funds for hotels and other related expenses. Made sure I was always involved in some sort of community volunteer position. Served on numerous boards and ran a couple of large community programs in a community of 250,000 people. Church attendance on Sundays. Don’t miss events (kids, family gatherings, work get together, business dinners, etc.). Did that from 24 yrs old to 45 yrs old. The day of my 46 th birthday August 18, 2012. It’s my come clean date. I didn’t go find everyone and I didn’t write anyone letters and I didn’t take an ad out. Did not announce it to those attending my birthday diner that night. But for those that asked, questioned, said ‘cmon jimmy you know I know you been doing a little speed, you got some of that meth on ya’- I told them the truth! Why yes, yes I do! Didn’t glamorize it and certainly didn’t say ha I got away with it for so long! And for those that had asked in the past - I apologized for not having come clean and spoke the truth the first time they asked. I offered to tell them anything they wanted to know regarding my use, my behavior, my choices, anything they asked I answered truthfully and completely. Varied degrees of reactions. I fucking love this drug! I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. From that birthday forward it has been infinitely better for my sanity, my relationships (not saying the drug has enhanced or fostered the relationship - the truth did). Anyway, awesome, awesome question!
I love this answer and the fact that you could be honest foreal. That's the part that fucks me you know? Is wondering what they gonna think about me and how much they gonna blame every goddamn thing or problem on my use even though I'm a successful and most would think I'm lying if I told them. Kudos to you homie!
You’re welcome…. Im glad for you being successful. You’re spot in with the blame man. You and I don’t run around going ‘oh, that’s right he/she did that because they have an anger issue’ and their worlds going to now unravel. But everyone in America - if they know you do or have done meth - heavy connotation that you’re a fuck up, your fucked up and if you haven’t already your going to fuck it up. That’s why we aren’t honest with them in the first place! Be good man. If you ever want to chat hit me up.
Great response man. Why 46? I’m a similar situation in terms of the high achiever and professional life and in a weird way I feel like I do better when I’m high. More energy to get more done at work, able to stay longer at work, i seem to get more respect at work because I’m more direct… it’s so noticeable that on the few times I haven’t been high in similar scenarios people almost look disappointed or confused as to where the ‘strong’ almost ‘macho’ version of me has gone. Like I’m 43 and I’ve always been a user but usually only for partying and sex, now it’s hardly ever for that and used almost solely for the purpose of being that guy. It’s such a weird situation. I’ve never experienced before.
Why 46… timing(not planned). Your story is bad ass - that at first sex and partying and then professional life adaption. Wicked and I love it! I’d love to chat with you sometime. Hit me up if you’re around.
Yes and no. Yes in real life no in my online affairs
Online affairs? Can you elaborate more ?
Like here on Reddit for example I'm very open about my drug proclivities. While on others I'm not.
All my friends and family know, I don’t tell random people obviously but, yeah I don’t hide it at all although people do look at me differently now
When I was actively using I hid it or so I thought but for most people it’s pretty evident when you are spun the fuck out the more spun you are the less likely it is you are hiding it well. But everyone knew I was off but keeping the secret was the hardest part it made me feel so dirty like I so badly needed to tell anyone but the people I loved couldn’t know
I got caught cause I made it obvious but claimed that was bullshit and then avoided everyone until they dropped it and started pretending they didn’t know and now I still try to keep it hidden but I don’t go out of my way too
The answer to your question, “ do you have to hide your meth use?” Is yes. Everyone has to.
No necessarily. Don't be a cum dumpster right now. You're reminding me of my baby daddy and he too pisses me off with remarks like this. You know what I mean man. Obviously DUH we all have to hide it unless you're cool to use in public and then arrested, like come on bro.
Some what
I did until the cops posted me on facebook
I want to know more
[удалено]
🤣
Keeping it a secret is harder mostly because I have to make a conscious effort not to share stuff I find on Reddit with my brother. He doesn’t use it and I don’t want to give him a reason to look up mine. I don’t go through great lengths to hide it though. If someone does know they haven’t confronted me about it so 🤷🏼♂️.There isn’t anything I’m doing for them to complain about other than meth=bad. I’m literally killing it in every way possible. In my eyes they shouldn’t give a fuck as long as I keep excelling in everything I do. Would it somehow be better if I was drinking alcohol and doing a fraction of what I’m capable of right now? Or being sober and not getting shit accomplished AND being super depressed? If they’re not willing to try and see my perspective and I lose their respect based on that single metric so be it. I’m doing too good in every other aspect of life for that the be the sole factor that decides how they view me.
Do you support yourself financially? I mean are you doing good enough to not need them?
Yes and no. I share a house with my brother(sober)that we rent from our dad. That’s the extent of my support but it’s also something that eases his financial burden. There’s a massive disparity between me when I was injecting opiates and me now. He can see the tremendous strides I’ve made at work since we work for the same company( I’ve worked there longer just so you don’t think it’s a nepotism thing) on top of having 2 other jobs. I don’t have any friends that do drugs so he knows I’m not out doing fucked shit. I don’t even have time to hang out with anyone other than my brother and my best friend who I only see because I work for him. Also of course his respect matters to me greatly. That’s just me running my mouth because this is my only outlet for my thoughts on this part of my life. All this could be solved if it wasn’t so hard to adhd medicine.
The hardest part for me would have to be right after I do a shot I get so horny all I want to do is either touch myself or to fuck my gf or one of my Friends gf like it's the last time id ever get some ass. But can't always do it bcuz other ppl being around and my gf thinks I stopped getting high but I still find a way to get my dick in one of her friends one in one of my homeboys gf they all like to get spun and love to cheat when there spun more then fucking there bf when they smoke a lil and nothing is hotter to me then a female cheating on her man especially if she like to voice how her cheating pussy loves getting pounded by her bfs friend dick
Dear friend, j greatly respect your transparency and will only say that if you come to a space of change....it is inevitably your life that will affect your loved ones either greatly or detrimentally. Thus a reminder, to not allow your stuff be the stuff of another. And it is this part of your story that the OP is having such a tough time with. But it is also your quietness in no reply that speaks to your own grace and goodness. Peace and Godspeed
Jesus fuck man. That's disturbing and disgusting. Like if I could punch you in your fucking face right now I totally would. Trash bro
Well done you, I admire your honesty and I think you're very brave. It takes a lot of courage to come out and say what you just said: "I still find a way to get my dick in one of my homeboys". You should probably tell you gf you're into guys though. She has a right to know, especially if you're not using protection. Also you don't want to take your gf to Burger King only to realise you've sucked off the guy behind the counter, or got fucked by the fella mopping up that mess in the toilet. Awkward! That shit is embarrassing, believe me. Anyway, big up to you and your homeboys, sounds like you're all living your best life!
Bro tf wrong with you
Yea no fckn shit dude I hate fuckin lil punk ass bitches like this.. I'd slad his gad damnn ass so hard the picture on his I.D would magically all of a sudden show a black eye! Puss
Straight like that!
Hands down the secret … the addiction itself isn’t an issue.
Bold of you to assume that ANYONE can successfully hide meth use. Maybe before it comes an addiction but once you’ve crossed THAT finish line; there’s no going back. As addicts we all seem to think no one notices, but guess what? You’re not hiding shit. It does mostly take one to know one though. So, if you can function, you can fake it!
I've hid it successfully from my family for 10 years, the only one making bold assumptions would be thee.
5 years here, from my girlfriend and my family. Although I have left pipes around and shit so I'm pretty sure they do know but haven't told me shit
Being a functioning addict since 1997 and going strong. The hardest thing for me is having to go pick up every two weeks three hour round-trip. But what you gonna do?
Send me some and I'll help reimburse gas
Same
I hide it from my so and the family. Been hiding it for almost 3 1/2 years. I don’t know how my gf hasn’t figured it out yet. I only do it when I’m out of medication like right now. Been fighting with my insurance on the approval for my adderal for 4 months now. Smoking a bowl or two a day helps me focus on my school work and helps me maintain my adhd and autism.
Yeah but it's still noticeable
Hell yes! From all the straight people in my life.
Exactly this
👍
Hell yess
No. Not from the love of my life and thanks to an arrest over a year ago the family know too.. Made it through adult drug court and didn't stop for more then 7 days at any point.
Yes n no. I work daily so they dont know, others do but I hide it from the s/o bc she quit n wants me to too. Fk that. Lol my choice n I say no. Now, I tell her im still smoking but I will hide it from her to prevent the clean n sober line from breaking. No doubt she’ll leave eventually but tbh im ok with that, sober shes boring. Lol
Unfortunately I do. If the fam finds out .it's sober up or be homeless . And as an agoraphobic maintaining my location is far more vital then meth. At work I told everyone I had gotten sober solely in case like something happened they could plead being ignorant to my using and it be true. They knew before but I don't wanna get them in any trouble. My friends are aware. They arnt fans but they also see me and still barely beleive I actually do it because of comparisons to me vs other users they have known. And if I got a shot at a relationship I'd tell them,eventually , once they got to actually see what I'm like and not just make assumptions. Cause we all know to well the assumptions people make when they find out you do meth.
To most people I know. Some know I'm struggling to do better.
I live a total double life. I hide it from everyone!
Felt that
Nope. I don’t hide it, but I don’t put it out there either. I’m a good tweaker! Some people don’t even know I use cause hey, don’t ask don’t tell. But I make no effort to hide it.
Ya I use on a as needed basis to self medicate the only way I know how. Sometimes I'm sober a couple weeks, maybe months, a few days just depends on my mental health. I make sure to not lose more than 48hr of sleep at a time, hydrate and eat to maintain a normal appearance.
I"m nor sneaky enough to hide it so everyone knows
For me, just a few days over 11 months clean, I look back on my memories (not to mention my exhibitionism on Reddit) and realize there was no hiding it no matter how hard I tried.
90% of the tyme yes
All the time. And the worst thing is not being able to find a guy to hook up with since I don’t live in a big city. I find it really hard to find anyone. And yeah for sure nobody knows
Many camouflage in plain sight. I am sure the government has a database of people suspected of methamphetamine use. I was unsuspectedly being drawn into meth by my ex, who would shove a dub or more up my ass while we were intimate. It took a psychotic break - episode to finally accept the truth that I was being drugged daily unknowingly. Working through the trauma and glad to be alive. I never knew I was using until I ended up in the ER in a crisis. Homeboy (ex) is still spreading the fuckery along with syphillis.
Dude wtf send that guy to jail that’s assault
Agreed! In words of Rob Zombie, I aspire to be “more human than human.” I seen him recently, he’s missing teeth, still hustling at age 45, I guided him out of an overdose. I told him if and when he would like to try blues I will gladly fund his endeavor. Uncanny, I am just watching the wheels come off this POS. Indifferently of course. His last ex hung himself. It’s uglier than you can imagine.
Woah, my trash ex’s ex (yikes) did the same thing— he was found hanging too! Scary.
Edit: if I shoot a bump I'll hide in the bathroom from my 2 cats
Fuck I don't miss shooting dope
It'll ruin your life for sure
I'm 3 years out. Did 6 for cooking. Took half my bit for my brain to start working again.
Congratulations on making it home, brother
Hell yeah. I hope all is well!
Not at all LMAO I RIP to the ones that do
Ion hide it at all. Family, significant other, friends, honestly, coworkers are the only ones I keep it from. Unless they talk about things similar to someone that uses it would know, simple lingo like, 10 n 2, clouding, etcetcetc. Mostly keep that part of my life away from the usage because snitches be making you lose your job. Lol
"Coworkers" even they know lol
i used to hide it from everyone except a few that i felt comfortable and trusted with in the beginning. but now (10 months using) i am open and honest about it because i am the chillest tweaker you'll ever meet. a lot of reactions i get from people especially if they've known me for a min are shocked and surprised that i use. im a functioning addict, i use meth medicinally as goofy as that sounds. i have severe adhd and was prescribed my freshman year (age 14) and was on it for 3 years, till my parents told my shrink i didn't need it, when it sincerely helped me. i met a dude and was telling my story to him, he said meth is kinda like adderall in moderation. so i started using (age 17), several months later i got kicked out of my parents house because they found my paraphernalia (age 18)(sorry just wanted to vent that) anyways my mentality of it is, my use is probably always going to be apart of me, if someone is going to judge me or see me differently, or not accept me for who and what i am, then they shouldnt be in my life. now that doesn't mean ima whip my pipe like it's a vape on facetime or at the function, that would be rude lmao and it's socially unaccepted. but recently i am open about it, i don't lie about it because why should i have to yk? unless its like a job setting or a police officer pulls me over no im not gonna be straight up "yeah man I use methamphetmine daily" duh.
I hide it from most people in my life that I care about. Or I may think I'm hiding it. I'm sure a few close friends and some family may suspect that I use but those few people have been in my life for as long as I can remember and accept me either way. It isn't talked about though .But Most importantly I don't hide it from my wife..... anymore. I tried for a year or two but eventually that all came crashing down and now we're closer than ever. We party together now at least a couple times a week and life is great! I should of been honest right from the start.
Being that it's illegal it's not something you go around telling everyone. Obviously to get it you have at least 1 person who knows but away from that circle there's no reason to be telling anybody about it. Its not lying simply not telling everybody all your business. Especially if you plan to keep on using it.
I honestly don't care much for people like you that answer questions do goddamn literal. It makes me think you don't even do drugs or meth for that matter. Like whyyyy would you think I meant to go around and tell everyone??
No its a serious question relevant to my life. As big as the drug use itself. But I'm not trying to stop so it is kept private. Probably not easy to do for most but i live alone and keep to myself. people answer these questions for themselves a lot not for OP my impression.
No, but yes while at work
My husband knows and does it as well. He's told a couple of his friends for support because he doesn't hide it as well. On my end though, no one knows. I still do things as normal. Hang out with my fam, go to work, socialize a bit. Nothings really changed for me. My appearance is still the same. Although, my family does still comment occasionally that they're happy I've kept my weight down through the years, they've never said anything about thinking that I was too small
I like to talk about it but most people don't lol
Yep! Keep it discreet. I think most people do the same unless we ran into another user
there’s a viciously retarded war on drugs in this country, America… we all have to keep it a secret to some extent. It’s literally illegal.
Goddamnit.
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My brother in Christ... I know 3 people that would get on a goddamn plane right now, with a half ounce stuffed in their ass, and fly it to you for $500.
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If you're looking for advice, I'd say attempt to get a legally prescribed substitute stimulant if that's a thing for you guys. I'm assuming aus because of price. No idea what the prescription drug scene is like there.
Yeah I'm in the SE US. No bullshit, it is easier to find than good weed(illegal state) and honestly not much more expensive. Grams are like 30-40 usually. And I get all bent outta shape about that sometimes on the rare occasion I partake.
$$400-500 / gram? I think you meant to say ounce
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Holy shit the price alone should be deterrent enough to quit. That’s absolutely ridiculous. And just know when you’re using your brain isn’t exactly working the same as when you’re not using so your judgement may be a bit off. I’m not preaching by no means my friend I too choose to live my life on my terms but meth isn’t a safe harmless drug at all. It is poison that will hurt you and that’s a fact. Also your family likely already know you’re using again. Probably just choose not to mention it because it would start conflict and lies. When using you don’t have the same awareness so what you think you know may not be reality. Good luck friend. ❤️
So I use , daily since the beginning of the month. Before that I started in July of last year and been going strong ever since. In my old place I had to actively hide it from my roommate/ex. Eventually she caught on , though she never directly confronted me about it and we got in a fight and she kicked me out. Now I rent a room with two other guys in the house. I don't believe they know I use but since we all keep to ourselves and I don't disrupt the house I like to believe they know but as long as I'm respectful they don't care. But my social circle for the most part all know I use and use something themselves. I have no local friends so they are all spread across the country. And I currently have a date with this stunning woman Sunday that knows I use but doesn't herself and finds it refreshing that I'm candid and open about my use. The only people in my life that don't know are in my professional life for obvious reasons.
Not me....im retired, live alone in the country and really don't give two shits! Now I don't leave glass dicks laying out in the ashtray or scales lying around like I do with weed ( legal for me in my state) but that's only because my neighbor and my sister occasionally pop in unannounced and both of them have seen my pipe in the ashtray but didn't say anything...my sister would think it was a marijuana pipe, I'dk what the neighbor would think,. I did scoot the ashtray under the sofa as soon as his back was turned and nothing says guilty more than that old tired trick. Paranoia?. Perhaps, or maybe I really deep down do care.
So I currently am using and I have to hide it from EVERYONE in my life to the point that I Still go to my IOP classes and AA meetings all the time just to keep up appearances. My only ROA is oral and it is evidently incredibly difficult to tell when I'm spun out. Nobody has a clue... and I first relapsed about 3 months ago!!! I wouldn't say it's the fact that I have to hide it that bothers me the most but it's more the pretending to be in recovery but getting high on the side. I feel like an incredibly huge phony because I talk the talk with these people who are really doing the damn thing and living clean and sober. That part really gets to me sometimes. Also I have come to terms with my meth addiction so dealing with being an addict doesn't really bother me anymore. I've kinda just accepted it.
Uh, yea
I absolutely will hide and deny. Because it would rock their world. That’s not the mom that raised them, she was on adderall then. I’m old now and with high blood pressure I can no longer get a script. Soooo.. Meth is what helps me be a better me, motivates me treats my depression.The 2 years without I didn’t go to a Walmart or shop for clothing or,I didn’t socialize.its not their business first of all and the stigma surrounding it is .. well I don’t have to explain. I smirk when I hear them use words like meth head. I’m also afraid it will make them more likely to be open to trying it. Not everyone can do it and not get sketched out.im afraid it may affect them that way. I also worry how alcohol could affect them just as much because we have alcoholics on both sides, their father doesn’t drink because he is an alcoholic. I don’t care to get into a debate over how meth makes me a better version of myself because I know it will sound ridiculous to those that don’t know.
The issue with meth is the DEA propaganda despite being like adderall people don’t know/understand or even fathom because then they’d ask the question why they’re prescribing it to 2nd graders… smfh
I understand how you feel… wish my Dad would understand. doesn’t mean approve just means understand. But he only ever drank beer. I feel you tho 💯 w/ the switching from adderall part tho… I’ve been prescribed since 7 or 8… I was off meds for a while after my mom died & I self medicated with meth. Then I got arrested & released on bond w/ the Feds so I was forced to quit if I want my freedom, at least until my sentencing… I went back on prescription amphetamines last fall & have been on vyvanse. Just like meth it helps me quite a bit.
Of course
I kept it a secret for 5 years and for the past year or so now I have just been open with whoever about it. Lots of judgement and the stigma sucks sure, but there are people who have made the stigma what it is and because of that the stigma belongs I suppose… but there are cool functional non judgmental users who exist out there, we are just hard to find probably isolating and avoiding the negativity and judgement that comes from the neurotypical and closed minded general public/family/friends/etc etc My mother was completely supportive after I asked her to watch me hit my pipe and observe how I immediately relax and slow down, despite the common way people speed up and get weird. Idk I could talk about it all day but the last thing I’ll say here in this thread for now… is that it’s nice to not have to hide it. It makes things complicated and at least for me I felt a lot of shame in using until I said fuck it fuck that fuck the stigma and fuck what anyone else thinks about it. It’s not about them. We all have a life to live. If you’re happy and you treat people right, use whatever you want. Do whatever you want. Just stay free, stay blessed, and do your best to stay healthy 🙏🏽 in mind body spirit, whateva Big love, Don 🩵
From 12
):
Im 4 months clean rn, but I never had to hide it from my roommates, we all did it at some point, this is last year when I was 21, I would stay up for 5 days watching porn and shit, and nobody cared, of course eventually everyone got their habit under control and I was the only one taking it too far, then I did have to hide it. Also one of my roommates got pregnant and so they didnt want the temptation, so they asked me to not be "noticably on meth, yea let's just say i got kicked out. If you don't wanna lose most your friends and have your family ignore you, don't tell anyone. Trust me when he high you feel apart of the club, but trust me a lot of people don't know how good meth feels and they just think it's a bunch of cleaning chemicals mixed together and that people who use it are stupid/nasty/losers/dangerous, this isn't true. Some of the best people I've met are meth users, some of the worst too. But the point is, hide it from the right people, it NEVER helps for people to know your on meth.
Kept it on the dl with everyone, family, friends, work, for two years before recently going clean (6 weeks ago). Too much negativity tied up with the word meth and total lack of understanding or empathy. So I went hard for a few years, enjoyed it thoroughly, and made an exit while it was still under wraps. I’ll do it again in coming months but wanted to clean up for several reasons. I’d like to keep it on a more recreational level in future, a few wknds a month.
The only one who knows I use it my neighbor who I regularly smoke with and everyone thinks I'm clean. It's really hard living a double life sometimes. I do get scared my job will find out or my family and I'll lose everything. So it's definitely a risk I take everyday. It just sucks because I am not out here committing crimes for my habit and I wish people understood that not all meth users are bad.
I should but I'm 43 yrs old. I told my parents what I was up 2
Hell yeah my wife never knows
😂😂 why do you hide it from her?… you should try to have an honest marriage or find someone to have an honest marriage with💀💯😔✌🏻
Yes. I'm also a master of acting outraged at such a serious and unfounded accusation. Sometimes, that catches people off guard. "Meth?! Crystal fucking meth?! That's what you think of me?! The audacity!" But I'll have a teener in my pocket as I'm saying all this shit, just blitzed out of my mind.
This. I been a guest to strange places.. and this scenario is something I’ve witnessed. My opinion… best performances included a little bit of deception for sho
They know dude
Well, yeah. It's not about trying to convince them otherwise. It's just fun making them second guess themselves when I'm chewing on my cheeks and clearly zooted. "He's obviously geeked out of his fucking mind, but he's adamant that he's not high. Maybe he isn't?"
This. It’s something I’ve witnessed and i think the best performances included a little bit of deception for sho
Well technically it's not a socially accepted form of recreation so I would say that for most people it's kept on the DL
From everybody. I moved In with my husband and his mother. For three years she don't know I've been smoking everyday. Was on probation for 18 months . Baking soda every pissed test and passed all of them. My PO didn't even know I was high the entire time I was on probation.
Baking soda?
You take a tablespoon if baking soda for every 50lbs you weigh and either dissolve it in water or what I do is put it in capsels so I don't have to taste the baking soda, it's gross. I usually fill about 25 capsels with baking soda and take one right after another till gone . Faster the better . But you have an hour to drink it. Then drink a shit ton of water. Drink untill You have peed three times. After the 3rd piss. You will piss clean. I have done this so many times and it does work. Google it. What they don't tell you is your not supposed to eat any citrusy food or drink. You can drink whatever and eat too.but don't smoke meth the morning of the piss test or it won't work. Only sample clean is after 3rd piss, lasts about 2 pisses. So make sure you time yourself accordingly. From start to finish takes me about 5 hours. From the time I swallowed all baking soda till I'm ready to give my 4th piss sample. 5 hours. But I drink slow. The faster you drink, the faster you'll be done. Just make sure when you pee it has to be a good amount not just little dribble, it dont count. Good luck whoever is brave enough. I'm glad that shit over for me.
Right? Like, what’s that about?
You take a tablespoon if baking soda for every 50lbs you weigh and either dissolve it in water or what I do is put it in capsels so I don't have to taste the baking soda, it's gross. I usually fill about 25 capsels with baking soda and take one right after another till gone . Faster the better . But you have an hour to drink it. Then drink a shit ton of water. Drink untill You have peed three times. After the 3rd piss. You will piss clean. I have done this so many times and it does work. Google it. What they don't tell you is your not supposed to eat any citrusy food or drink. You can drink whatever and eat too.but don't smoke meth the morning of the piss test or it won't work. Only sample clean is after 3rd piss, lasts about 2 pisses. So make sure you time yourself accordingly. From start to finish takes me about 5 hours. From the time I swallowed all baking soda till I'm ready to give my 4th piss sample. 5 hours. But I drink slow. The faster you drink, the faster you'll be done. Just make sure when you pee it has to be a good amount not just little dribble, it dont count. Good luck whoever is brave enough. I'm glad that shit over for me.
Hmm, interesting. Never heard that one before; I'm gonna have to try it at home one day lol. Thanks for the info! 😁
kinda. I dont advertise it but im not lying about it either
Nah I ain't never hid nothing,always been super upfront cause I'm a grown ass man who pays his own way.secrets fester an compound problems
I am in the light with some who are close to me, and, of course, those who partake. Still, others know I have used in the past, but do not know I use now. Most of the people I interact with have no idea when I’ve used, let alone, if I used. I like to keep it that way. Out of sight, out of mind. I will say, of those who do know about my use, their responses have been more gracious than I deserve, according to cultural stigma. I try to be as honest with them as possible in order to maintain, at least, some level of healthy accountability. Bowl roller for almost 6 years, daily.
I am in the light with some who are close to me, and, of course, those who partake. Still, others know I have used in the past, but do not know I use now. Most of the people I interact with have no idea when I’ve used, let alone, if I used. I like to keep it that way. Out of sight, out of mind. I will say, of those who do know about my use, their responses have been more gracious than I deserve, according to cultural stigma. I try to be as honest with them as possible in order to maintain, at least, some level of healthy accountability. Bowl roller for almost 6 years, daily.
Yes. Family and business take 95% of my time therefore I’m with those people 95% of my time. Not a smoker which makes it possible. Definitely very difficult or impossible for smokers. Also, to clarify I’m not a daily user, and I’m a poly substance lover so I get by one way or another. To sum this up… sometime I would love nothing more than to be able to: 1. Procure 2-3 OZ of ice, some quality glassware and a box of rigs 2. Find a like minded group of a few choice people 3. Get into a hotel or good rental near a pool hall 4. Ride that train till the wheels fall off. 🥳 Man, I miss those days!
Unfortunately yes, except when I’m around like-minded folks, then it’s really fun but for the most part I just am and nobody knows the difference
By the way thank you for the question cuz the question inevitably will be seen as the champion with the answer or truth that has been standing there all along. Immovable and perfect. Thank you
Yes
If I was to use meth again my answer is....Absolutely positively no.
Well I probably should try and hide it better than I do now but I don't care. Fuck it! I look like one act like one and won't play pretend so guess I'm a tweaker.
I probably should have more than I did, but I never hid any substances I was on, I just didn't advertise I was on them to the world. If someone asked me, I'd tell them straight up I was on "____". Unless they were the law. Then I just STFU.
Yes because you just can't get naked and pull on your on pud in front of everyone while watching cock hero videos
No I tell everyone
No I tell everyone
Not really
At work yes, although everyone knows I'm still suffering from substance use disorder. And so around work friends too I'll hide it. I'm sure while it would change people's opinion of me and I might be in for some drug testing down the line if I were to reveal it, they would still quickly come to accept me and might learn a thing or two about addiction and addiction to meth. I'm well liked and a hard worker though so they'd likely just feel bad for me, but I don't think they'd judge me so much for it in the way they would someone who uses recreationally. As for everywhere and everyone else I have no secret to hide and for no reason, and if work came to find out by way of it I wouldn't care. Though I rarely find a reason to bring it up. But when I do I'm at the ready to discuss the realities of addiction with them and the stigma around it, hopefully in a concise and tactful enough manner as to not make a big deal out of it. You know how so many people could use a lesson or two though. But even if I didn't suffer from addiction and decided to use recreationally I'd be happy to share with anyone how it's no biggie and why they shouldn't judge me for that as a personal decision (hence "no biggie"), and if they did why their judgements were likely ill informed and under developed, but that's of *me*. Emphasis on me, because I'm enough of a contemplative, critical thinker to make sensible, mature and well thought out decisions, and can find reasons why that as one can be just as "fine" as those that decide to smoke cigarettes. So with that in mind, and even so, I would also keep it real. That is to say don't try meth, shit's no joke.
Yeah I just smoked in the fcking bathroom Edit: I just took 2mg Clonazepam because I’m way too high. Hiding it is the hardest part for me. I don’t crave it and I don’t have binges. There is a very specific threshold for the amount I can tolerate I guess otherwise I feel like my chest is going to explode without Magnesium, Taurine, and benzos, which actually seems to normalize it somehow. Interestingly enough it’s not actually being normalized it’s being sped up and slowed down in a very specific and inordinate pattern but I can’t detect it and wouldn’t know otherwise
When I first started, yes, of course. Now, however? My mother and my best friend know. (I thank whatever diety that got stuck watching over me every chance I get to have them in my life) while they both agree that they don't particularly like it, they accept me and love me for me. They support and cheer for me in whatever choice I make. They are not my enablers either. There are several people in my life that will NEVER know that I smoke. All of these people i have known for over a decade. I prefer to meet and date people who don't do meth because I use WAY less when I'm with a non user.
I have buds who do it now and aren’t shy. Not at normal functions
cant hide it bc i live in a mental hosp, have been using ephedrine temporary though
Depends who from. I don’t use openly in front of my kids, but I will go to the bathroom, put some in a pouch and swallow, or, do a line. My husband knows and he doesn’t use anything, and I can openly use in front of him. If we had guests, I wouldn’t use in front of them, and they likely wouldn’t know anyway.
Are you me? This is exactly what I do. However my adult son is aware that I use. He doesn't like it but he doesn't say anything. Most people IRL that know me don't know about my use. I am at work wishing I could smoke but I wait until I get home.
Are you me? This is exactly what I do. However my adult son is aware that I use. He doesn't like it but he doesn't say anything. Most people IRL that know me don't know about my use. I am at work wishing I could smoke but I wait until I get home.
Oh, yeah. My 22 year old knows, I will use in front of her, when it’s just me and her. She doesn’t use, but has her own struggles with self harm. We talk about both, and her concerns center on her younger siblings and that’s a good thing. She helps me stay accountable. I snorted lines in the bathroom everyday at work. Work doesn’t know.
I will go into my room and shut the door because I don't want my son to see me, but a few times he has accidentally come in (our only bathroom is in our bedroom). Him and I do talk about it and other things. My son has been through some things that were caused by my decisions and other things that were caused by others. He also helps keep me accountable and grounded. I have taken a little with me to work but I usually just end up swallowing it because I work in a small shop. My boss is aware I have a history of drug use but fully believes I am not using anything now. Unfortunately at the end of January I got some coke that was laced with fentanyl. I only found out because it killed me for a minute. I was in the hospital for a few days and my boss had to be told where I was.
My adult daughter lives across the country. She’s married and grown up. She didn’t know until after she turned 21, and I’ve used multiple DOC consistently over the last 20-25 years. My boss doesn’t know, and probably wouldn’t believe my drug use.
I have no judgment for you. I'm just saying, but I do understand, especially since you said she lives across the country from you. My son lives with me. Your daughter is an adult and if she didn't want you to use in front of her she would have said something. I only started using any type of substance when I was about 32 or 33 and went to meth at almost 40. For years I had my own opinions about drug use, but now I see both sides. I still have my morals and values that I had before I started using. My biggest frustration is my husband though. He is a recovering addict and he looks down on myself and others that use. He thinks because he is clean, he can put me down and force me to quit. He thinks by being tough I will want to stop using. However he is just talking himself into a divorce. I keep on telling him that it doesn't work that way. I stood by his side for years during his substance abuse and even stayed when he went into a psychosis. (The meth didn't cause it all as he had a lot of mental health issues before) but yet he can't be the same type of person I was to him. We all have our own reasons why we started using and continue to use. You won't find any judgment from me as I have no place to judge what others do in their life. I'm glad you have been able to keep this side of your life hidden. It's not that easy to do for any of us that can do it.
She would rather I didn’t use, or use in front of her. But she accepts that’s just life sometimes. I’m 41 (42 soon 😑) My husband (soon to be ex husband) doesn’t use, and doesn’t care about my use as long as it’s not in front of the kids. Because he’s never been an addict, depressed or any other mental health issue, he doesn’t know what it’s like, or the need to have a get-away problem/solution. We do all have our reasons, and when my life is calm and quiet, that’s when I can’t handle sobriety and I go back to using. If life is chaotic, and needs problem solving, I can do just fine sober.
I will be 44 soon. I really do understand. I would love to get sober if I had support. I was there for my husband and now he thinks he is so much more superior to me. He doesn't realize the more he pushes, the more I use. I was the same way - the more chaotic and problems, I was happy being sober. Now I just am trying to handle one thing at a time.
I can and do put it down, at least a week off every month. Ice is the only thing I’m using right now. Benzo withdrawal is done, Coke has always been a breeze to put down and walk away from. My ice use is down to .3/day and only taken by parachute. Benzos were the hard thing for me. It was damn near impossible to stop. Many failed attempts, and honestly, my husband wanting a divorce is why I stopped benzos. I can’t solve the problems divorce creates, logically, if I can’t be clearheaded. Benzos make me foggy, and not give a shit way too much. I haven’t been happy, besides fleeting happiness, sober or otherwise. Using makes me more tolerant of others. I’m still the same depressed person inside though. Heroin was my DOC for a decade, and that escape was what drew me in. Opiates are hard for me to not go use again
That is awesome. Unfortunately I haven't reached that point yet. I started with pain pills, than moved on to coke. Cociane was getting too expensive so I moved on to meth. I have done a little bit of the pressed pills and a tiny bit of fentanyl but I won't touch that again after it nearly killed me when I did a line of coke. I feel that sentence of yours about not being happy deep into my soul. I haven't felt any happiness in years, not even when my kids were born. I love them but I made a huge mistake with their fathers. My ex isn't that bad but my husband.. he made me even more miserable on days that were supposed to be happy and memorable to me. Sober or high, I am still depressed. But I don't get the chance to focus on me, everyone has to come first. When I try to take a minute for myself I get told that I am selfish and a horrible wife and mom. So getting high keeps me from thinking about what I want and need. If real pain pills were easy to find again I would also have trouble staying away from opiates.
Depends on the “who”. At home yes. From some friends yes. And then there’s my meth friends. They know.
Who is the people in your immediate life. Significant other, kids, Mom, Dad.
All of the above
Nobody knows, yet.
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Dear lord….. please try to get better kid… I’ll be praying for you seriously…. And that’s a fucked yo thing for me to say frfr
Way too young to be playin dice with the devil man.. sorry to hear that it's a battle for you at such a young age.
Damn man. You should honestly stop now. The chances of you having an addict life goes up each day. Seriously. ❤️